RE-DRAWING THE LINE FOR DECENT DRESSING

On 23rd March 2013 I attended a childrens Art and Music competition held in the city centre of Kampala. During that event, some children were invited onto the stage to show case their dancing skills. One of the girls that hopped onto the stage [and later crowned best dancer of the day] after almost exhausting all her decent dance moves decided to turn her back to the audience, bent her legs a bit and started shaking her waist up and down vigorously as if she were having a sexual encounter with the space between her legs. She was dressed in tight pants and as one that watched this little girl dance, I can tell you it was more heart breaking than entertaining watching such an erotic dance from such a little girl. But who can blame her, she is just a child. Children do not pick the things they do from nowhere. Children mimic what they see other people around them do especially the adults in their lives/community. Very many questions ran through my mind as I watched this girl pull off her indecent dance strokes but the loudest of them all was why in the first place this little girl was dressed the way she was dessed? May be she saw some people dressed that way and thought it was ok and decent. The fact that she even came to this childrens event dressed the way she was, chances are, the adults in charge of her wellbeing approved of her outfit before she left home. And I reckon they must be okay with it because at that age that girl could not be earning any money to buy herself clothes. When the Bible talks of being clothed in 1 Corinthians 15:54 and Galatians 3:27 what picture does it paint for you? 1. One where the clothes are translucent or transparent and the covered body can still be seen? 2. One where the clothes are tight on the body that the old bodys outline is so pronounced any one (even a stranger) can sketch how your old self looked like? 3. One where the clothes literally cover the whole body (the old self) and the new self (the clothes) is all one can see? Have you ever asked yourself why when you reached a certain age, your mother/father stopped bathing you and you too were stopped from bathing with your blood siblings of the opposite sex (that is if you had any)? Have you ever asked yourself why men and women have separate toilets and bathrooms? Did you know that actually having the toilets and bathrooms for girls and boys separate is a right children have; do you know why? Do you know what happens when these boundaries are not respected? These are so many questions and yet I am not so sure even I have the answers. I however know of a story of a man after Gods own heart who found himself in a position where these boundaries were not respected. The Bible records in 2 Samuel 11:2 that David sinned against the Lord (through adultery and murder) because he saw Bathsheba naked. Looking at todays clothes, I wonder whether these clothes are actually clothes or are they some kind of skins that people slide onto her bodies and peel off at the end of the day. Or are these clothe designs just extended underwear that people wear on top of the inner underwear? Many of the popular outfits today are designed to be more and more revealing as opposed to covering. May be the age of covering is over and now we are in the age of revealing. But should dressing be based primarily on generation trends?

With names such as fitting, leggings, see through, back show, kundi (belly button) show, cleavage show, etc all these clothes are aimed at bringing man (both male and female) closer to a state of nakedness and away from that of being clothed. For my brother who once referred to a cow as a big dog, I wouldnt be surprised if he referred to some of those outfits as big stockings. But brethren you tell me: why on earth would a woman show me (a man) partially or wholly her breasts if I am not to her one of the following: 1. A baby she has to breast feed? 2. A doctor going to check out her breasts may be for cancer? 3. Her husband who has rights to her body as much as she does? From your understanding of the biology of a man, you tell me: if a normally functioning man is shown the breasts of a woman, how is he supposed to respond? Ignore and move on? Really?! Why do we humans generally enjoy living on the edge? Oh may be you are thinking David was Old Testament, surely things are no longer the same. I agree, things have vividly changed a lot but like the senior woman teacher used to tell us in fellowship back in high school, a man has remained a man and a woman has remained a woman and the way they biologically or chemically affect each other has not changed a single bit. Some time back, I read a story of a woman in the NewVision daily who shared that she grew up adoring and cherishing her breasts knowing that they were hers. When she got married, it was as if she had lost all rights to her breasts to her husband. And when she got her first baby, the ownership was handed over to the baby. Now if I am not one of those 3 (you, your baby or your husband) why are you showing me your breasts? As carnal man [made of flesh and blood] let me tell you what options I have if such a scene is before me. I will choose which of the 3 options above I can easily mimic to gain access to your breasts. The reason we pray in the Lords Prayer Lead us not into temptation is because we are weak and can be swayed away by temptation so easily. That is the same reason why the Bible uses the word flee when talking to us in 1 Corinthians 6:18 about our response to sexual immorality. You cannot just walk away from sexual sin and survive. And yet today, we are taking these sexual temptations to our brothers and sisters in the Lord, sometimes almost literally running after those that are doing their best to flee. Back to my mimicking plot: if I successfully masquerade as a [potential] husband and gain access to a womans body at the invitation of her breasts, what are the likely outcomes? There are many like ly outcomes I imagine though sadly many of those will be negative because I am just but a masquerader. Among those will be unmet expectations (especially on the womans side) leading to a broken relationship. The bigger problem however for me as a child advocate is if by the time the relationship breaks, there is a new life that has been born; a life that was never planned for, a life that was never in the original plan, an undesired child. Imagine being that child and what your life would look like? One evening while attending Prime Time where I was actively involved in the drama team at Makerere University, the MC asked us to tell our neighbours a statement that came out as gross at the time and Im sure will to anyone hearing it for the first time. The aim of the statement according to the MC was to set the stage for the speaker (Pastor Martin Ssempa) who was coming on to talk to us about sex.

That statement helped and continues to help me understand why God in His word has set very clear and strict guidelines leaving nothing to chance as far as sex is concerned. In Ephesians 5:3, the Lord says that there should not be even a hint of sexual immorality among us. In essence, no one should even try linking you or me to any form of sexual immorality. Of course there are no guidelines for homosexuality because that is forbidden by God and we read from scripture how angry homosexuality makes Him. The statement the MC asked us to tell our neighbours was You are a product of sex. If a married woman wore some of the popular outfits that ladies wear today and walked right in front of her husband who at the time is watching television and her husband does not abandon the television in response to the stimuli now in front of him, I would surely understand if that woman declared a fast for her husbands abnormal situation. The reason I would understand is because we men are wired to respond a certain way to revelation of a womans body and that response should be celebrated in a marriage setting. It is this same response to stimuli that prostitutes ride on to market that which they sell: their bodies. When it comes to sex, I would describe men using the name of dry batteries that were popular in the 1990s: Ever Ready. Of course from scripture we know that that ever readiness comes with responsibility. Male man has got to exercise self-control over his body to the glory of God and not just seek to gratify his sinful nature Romans 13:13 & 14. The woman however also has a very crucial role to play here for man is not independent of woman and neither is woman independent of man - 1 Corinthians 11:11. She has got to dress her body in a way that brings glory to her husband and the Lord as the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 11:7 & 12, 1 Peter 3:3-5 It takes humility to know what you have and yet keep it to yourself and brethren that goes for your well-endowed body as well. And Christ modelled humility for us because even though He was God, He did not consider that something to be grasped - Philippians 2:6-8 Over the years, I have heard very many reasons fronted as to why people wear tight or revealing clothes. Among them are: culture, comfort, the times have changed, emancipation and even finger pointing at each other (why do the men/women also do this and the other - as if fellow man is in any way a standard to follow), etc. But who told you that God created you to fit in this world? Have you forgotten that our God changes not and so are his standards Malachi 3:6 and Hebrews 1:10-12? He created you so that you can shine for Him as a light set on a hill. He wants you to be a bright light so you can show the rest of mankind the way to Him - Matthew 5:14-16. We were never created to fit in this world but rather to transform it for Gods glory against the schemes of the prince of this world Mark 16:15. If Noah and his family had chosen fitting in over Gods standards, I wonder if mankind would still be living on earth. Often ladies are advised to dress decently because they might be sexually assaulted and the counter argument normally given is the fact that not all girls or women that are raped are dressed indecently very valid argument. But can I also pose a question to you: why do companies advertise, why do people watch pornography? Do people drink the bill boards advertising soda? Of course not. Do the men that watch pornography have sex with their television sets or computers? Of course not. So by viewing the advert or watching the pornography, what has been achieved? Both of them have turned on the mind of the consumer. As soon as the consumer finds something similar to that which turned him on, he will then seek to quench this thirst that he has had all this time.

Some things once aroused are hard to quench and that is why even when it comes to love the Bible warns us 3 times not to arouse it until it so desires - Song of Songs 2:7, 3:5 and 8:4. Actually the steps King David went through [including murder] to finally have sex with Bathsheba will prove to you that the response to sexual stimuli is not always instant and the stimulator is not always the only victim or the victim at that. Far be it from all of us that any woman be raped, any child be defiled or an innocent boy/girl be lured into sex because a certain man or woman saw our nakedness and desired to have sex. As a young man, I remember hearing a certain evangelist say that the devil uses three Ws to conquer this word for himself. 1. World 2. Wealth 3. Women. Dear sisters, let not your hearts be troubled by this for this does not in any way mean that you were created to be used by the devil or that you are being used by the devil but rather that he (the devil) has a peculiar interest in using you as a vessel to draw people to hell that is if you listen to him and follow him. The story of the fall of man in Genesis 3:6 is enough to show you how serious the devil is with this scheme. He started executing it even when the total population of mankind was only 2 people. The story of the fall of man in the Garden of Eden also shows you how vulnerable men are at the hands of women and the devil knows that. Ever wondered why he did not tempt Adam while he was still alone? And you can read more stories about mens vulnerability when in the hands of women in the Bible: Isaac gave the blessing to Jacob because of a scheme of a woman, Esther saved the Jews from the Kings wrath, Herod beheaded John the Baptist because a woman had pleased him, Samson gave up the secret of his strength to a woman and many more. Woman, you are a pillar in the lives of all the men that God has brought in your life, stand firm and draw them to the Lord. Now do not be deceived that any tight or revealing clothes you wear are just innocent clothes meant to provide you with comfort. Are you saying that our descendants were always uncomfortable? So is it that every time you wear loose and decent clothes you are uncomfortable? But even if it were true, as a daughter of God, Gods saint on earth, an Ambassador of the Lords Kingdom to this lost world, one that is always before the Lords saints and lost men; always walking past then day and night, is decency worth losing in pursuit of comfort? Do you know why [God fearing] church choirs have strict guidelines for the dress code of their members? From what I gather, the rationale behind is so that they do not stumble the brethren. Now if the choir should not stumble the brethren should you? Sisters and brothers in the Lord, do you have a different standard from that of the choir? Or is your standard activity dependant? How I wish our weekly wardrobe trends are reversed so that we are more mindful of what we wear during the week and lax on Sunday. Because on Sunday we walk into the presence of brethren who know the Lord and should generally be spiritually stronger as compared to the rest of the world out there that we interact with during the week. In that world of the lost, are many souls that are seeking to find God and my question to you is: does your outfit draw them to God or to your perishable body that was made out of and is destined to return to dust?

I for one do not shop for DVDs with pornographic content and for that testimony, I thank God. But as I am sure every city dweller will concur with me, these DVDs are right in our faces almost everywhere you turn especially in the evenings. As a result, I have seen some of the images on the covers of these DVDs. Some of the images there are really graphic but sometimes all that the seller needs to put as the DVD cover to show the potential buyer that on that DVD is pornographic content is a photo of a womans buttocks. Musically, artistes (local and international) have and continue to belt out songs on the subject of a womans buttocks. Locally, the most popular was David Lutaalos Kapapala (translated it shakes). There is also the Ngonis Bigula (translated shake it) and the list goes on and on and on. I do not want to go into why many men have a peculiar interest in the buttocks of women but I can tell you that questioning that is like questioning why he-goats do not instead sniff the hooves of shegoats before mating. It is just how God made us and there is room for that to be celebrated to Gods glory in a marriage setting. Pornography by definition is Creative activity (writing or pictures or films etc.) of no literary or artistic value other than to stimulate sexual desire. So my question to you today is: are you sure your outfit was not designed to stimulate sexual desire? Do your outfits draw you closer or away from being a pornographic object? Or if I might ask plainly, how much of your private parts do your clothes expose or reveal? We read from the Bible that a curse awaits those that plot evil schemes to see their neighbours nakedness - Habakkuk 2:15. How much more then is in store for those who reveal their nakedness at will to their neighbours? In Genesis, man hid from God because he was naked (also read Revelation 3:18) and yet today we seem to find a lot of pleasure, pride and satisfaction from revealing or exposing our nakedness. Surely why should a man wear trousers so tight that his genitalia is almost popping his zip? Why should a mother wear clothes that reveal [even to her children] how curved and flabby her buttocks are or how light skinned her thighs are or how spaced her legs are? WHY? This kind of dressing calls for mourning my brothers and sisters. Looking at the body of Christ over the years, I can now painfully say that Show me one thing the world is doing today and I will show you one thing the church of Christ will aim at doing tomorrow This is a very sad position the church of Christ finds herself in today! The world has literally taken the church to a classroom and defined for it what is good and bad (including what decent dress code is) and sadly the church has passed the exams with flying colours. The standards as set by God are so high; no doubt and this should come as no surprise because he says in Isaiah 55:9 that Just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts (NIV) When it comes to fleeing from sexual sin, we each have a role to play and let no party hamstring the efforts of the other. No finger pointing. But rather let each one of us play our part. The Bible warns us in Matthew 18:7 Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come! (NIV) Are any of the things causing man to sin coming through you? I have also heard many women say (and I believe them) that sex for them is not just an act; it is something beyond that, more than the act. But the apparel proclaims the man or woman. People will only take what is offered to them. If you do not want to be treated a sex object then please do not present yourself as one.

To this I will add (as a man) that any lady interested in being treated not as a sex object has got to prepare and do it ruthlessly because many of your fellow women have already painted in the minds of men a corrupted image of who and what a woman is. So you want respect, then I guess you have to earn it, you have to come out clear, no room for second guessing as to whether you are a woman of noble character or one of those other women they have seen before. Otherwise if like a company producing both milk and honey, you choose to advertise only your milk products, then dont raise an alarm if only your milk products are bought and not the honey. What is on display at the market is what the consumers buy. Parents now fear to tell their children how to dress because other fears in them have surpassed their fear of God. The fear to hurt our children, the fear to be called old fashioned, the fear to be called poor, etc. we are now more aware of. We forget the old proverb (Proverbs 22:6) that says Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. I am no saint here and I believe that is why the Lord is calling all of us today to repentance and renewal of our lives for Him. Christ asks us to cut off any body part that causes us to sin in Matthew 5:30. I wonder what He would tell us to do with those clothes that make us cause others [his children] to sin. Now you know that a messenger is never shot but if I should get take a bullet for delivering Gods message to His people, so be it. To the Glory of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ

CLOTHE NUMBER LINE EXERCISE With an X, indicate where on the clothe line you feel dressing that is Godly should leave you? CLOTHE LINE PERCENTAGES
0% 10% 20% 30% 40% 50% 60% 70% 80% 90% 100%

NAKED

FULLY CLOTHED

Starting today, may you run your wardrobe and any other clothes you ever wear via this standard for where your X is, that is Gods standard for your dressing.

Turakira Reagan 1st April 2013 turegs@yahoo.co.uk rturakira.blog.com