Toeing the Line Between Art and Porn

As we adjust to the 21st century, the line separating art from obscenity is more blurred than ever. The government, artists, and citizens alike seem to either have a stake in, or an opinion of, the state of affairs between art and politics today, and the direction that our future could and/ or should be heading.

More and More Meth Users Page 2

A Short Study Session

According to Webster s New World Dictionary, art is defined as any of the following: human creativity, skill, any specific skill or its application, any craft or its principles, making things with form or beauty, any branch of this, and any branch of learning. Wow, it seems anything and everything created could be considered art. There seems to be a contradiction regarding this definition where it says art is a creation of beauty, yet much art is not necessarily

Why You SHOULD Make First Impressions Page 4 December Calendar of Events Page 10 Its Not Turkey; Its Tofurkey Page 14 Lady Jacket Volleyball Ends Successfull Season Page 18

See Art and Porn page 5

Photo by Niki Porter MSU-B graduate Season Yakawichs art is on display through November at Artspace.

no need to be concerned about Avian (meaning bird) flu is eating poultry. a contagious disease caused by Avian flu does not viruses that normally spread easily to huinfect only birds. mans; however, as of Usually the bird flu is October 20, 2005, there highly species-spehave been 118 concific, but on rare ocfirmed cases of avian casions it has crossed flu in humans in Indothe barrier to infect nesia, Vietnam, Thaihumans. Usually land, and Cambodia people become inwhich have led to 61 fected from direct deaths. Often times in contact with infected these countries families poultry, or surfaces and objects contamilive in close proximity to flocks of birds where nated by the birds fethe birds actually enter ces. Exposure is most their houses on occalikely during slaughsion and their children ter, defeathering, play where the birds butchering, and defecate. There is no preparation of poultry for cooking. *There evidence that the flu has spread from human is no evidence to date to human. that properly cooked It is hard for a laypoultry or eggs can be a source of infection. Photo courtesy of www.nature.com person to understand At this time, there is They look harmless enough. See Flu page 6

Avian Flu: Are We Ready?

View The Retort online at www.msubillings.edu/retort

1500 University Drive SUB 225

Billings, Montana 59101 Business and Newsroom: 406-657-2194 Fax: 406-657-2191 E-mail: retort@msubillings.edu

Test Your Retort Knowledge

Here is a little quiz about Retort trivia. Hopefully its fun and not too hard. Good luck! 1) The definition of retort is: a. to make a witty reply b. a layered French dessert c. something used in a lab for something d. both a and c e. none of the above 2) The Retort underwent several name changes. Pick the name that did NOT grace the front page of our student newspaper: a. Eastern State b. Rimrock Echo c. EMCOE d. Rimrock Shout Out e. Rimrock Advance 3) In 2000, the Retort garnered statewide media attention because of: a. ties to al-Qaida b. Ted Kaczynski was the faculty advisor c. constant use of obscenities in print d. libeling the chancellor e. printing an Holocaust denial advertisement 4) The student newspaper has been a part of this campus since: a. 1959 b. 2000 c. 1929 d. 1977 e. MSU-B has a student newspaper? 5) True or False: The Retort sucks. 6) The student newspaper comes out every other Tuesday. Which of the following printing schedules did NOT ever apply to the student newspaper? a. every Friday b. monthly throughout the whole year c. whenever the Hell we want d. MSU-B has a student newspaper? e. both c and d 7) The Retort is good for: a. housebreaking puppies b. papier mach c. nothing d. picking up hotties, like, So I was reading the Retort e. reading, duh 8) The following was the name of a special edition published in 1934: a. Through the Looking Glass b. Its Whats Inside That Counts c. Thru a Keyhole d. Up yer Butt with a Coconut e. Whats Going On? 9) The following was NOT on the docket for a 1930 popularity ballot: a. most inspirational instruction b. most popular man c. most prospective teacher d. most likely to succeed e. most beautiful girl 10) The students didnt put out a paper (that I could find) from 19401945, probably because of: a. a pandemic gender crisis on campus b. World War II c. illiteracy struck campus in epic proportions d. nothing happened worth reporting e. the campus was attacked by King Kong and had to be rebuilt Answers 1) d 2) d 3) e 4) c 5) False 6) e 7) e, also d if the hottie is on the Retort staff 8) c 9) d 10) b Scoring If you answered: 10 correct: You are a genius! Please stop by the Retort office for your complimentary issue of the Retort. 7-9 correct: You are a charming and well-liked individual. Please pick up your complimentary issue of the Retort in the LA, near the 2nd floor elevators. 4-6 correct: You are okay, man. In order to improve your life and your mind and the world in general, please pick up your complimentary issue of the Retort in the Education building (main entrance). 1-3 correct: You need help. Please pick up your complimentary issue of the Retort in the LA, Cisel, McMullen, Alterowitz, Rimrock and Petro, the Education building, the COB, the COT, both stands in the SUB, the Retort office and several coffee shops around town. 0 correct: Whats the matter with you? Please dont ever pick up the Retort again; its just not for you.

The Retort Staff

Editor in Chief...............Olivia Koernig Business Manager...........Yacine Zerizef Faculty Advisor.............Nancy Swanson Layout Editor................Dana Livermont Ad Manager...........................Niki Porter Copy Editor...............Amanda Patterson News Editor........................Betsy Harris A & E Editor.................Melissa DeVries Sports Editor..........................Jed Barton Photo Editor................Nicole Livermont Creativity Editor....................Beth Kern Reporter......................Emily Valenzuela Reporter.............................Tess Hatfield Reporter...........................Brie Radovich Photographer...................Matt Langman Staff Writer..........................Paul Jangula Staff Writer.................Miranda Breding Cartoonist............................Dan Hansen Columnist.........................Mike Schrage
Guideline & Policies The Retort encourages the sumission of letters to the Editor. Letters must be under 250 words in length and include name, signature, and phone number. The Retort reserves the right to edit for space and possible libel. Letters should deal with subject matter relevant to the students, faculty, and staff of MSU-Billings. The Retort is published twice a month. Letters must be sumitted by the Friday after the most recnt issue date. The Retort is made possible in part by student fees allocated by ASMSU-Billings. The Publications Board of ASMSU-Billings advises The Retort, leaving content decisions to the editors. Opinions expressed in The Retort are not necessarily those of its members, the university, students, nor student, state, or federal governments.

Montana Corrections Facilities are Overflowing with Meth Abusers

phetamines. Other substances used in the drugs manufacture are still Meth-amphetamine related sold in stores, and storeowners and crimes and arrests are a nationwide their employees are reporting suspiproblem, and arrests for meth-related cious activity involving the sale of crimes are clogging the system the substances. These reports are across Montana. Corrections facili- leading authorities to meth-labs and ties all over Montana are ordering in the last year the suspected numextra beds to house the huge influx ber of Montana labs has been reof violators. A new jail was built in duced by half. the 1980s to house 286 prisoners, These factors and the fact that meth abusers are easy to spot have led to record arrests for Montana authorities. The court system is also clogged with meth crime cases. A man was convicted of meth-amphetamine production because authorities found all the necessary ingredients in his house. The trial took several days involving arguments from four attorneys, and then the jury Photo courtesy of www.recoveryuniverse.com took less than an hour to A few Meth lab staples. return a guilty verdict. WHAT IS METHand in 2005 the jail is averaging be- AMPHETAMINE? tween 410 and 445 prisoners. Meth is a highly addictive drug WHY IS THE SYSTEM manufactured from non-illegal subOVERCROWDED? stances. In the mid to late 1800s A statewide crackdown on meth was used by doctors as a cure meth-amphetamine activity has been for a number of ailments and psyin effect for the last year. Governor chological disorders. It was also Schweitzer signed a bill into law pro- used in the late 1800s and early hibiting the sale and possession of 1900s to keep soldiers awake durcold medicines that contain ingredi- ing extended battles. ents used to manufacture meth-amToday, meth is used as a recreational drug. Meth physically changes the way the brain works. The drug creates a neurotoxic effect that causes permanent brain damage every time it is used. Symptoms to look for include uncontrollable anger, the inability to resolve conflict and bags under the eyes. Judge Karen Orbach is concerned that the trend seems to be affecting younger and younger people. WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF DOING METH? MSU-B policy is that you can be evicted from the dorms, suspended and or expelled, and put on academic probation. Funding for a meth-treatment prison was approved

The Madness of Methamphetamines

by the Montana Legislature in 2005. It will contain a 120-bed lockdown and a nine-month treatment program followed by a six-month prerelease program, and then continued mandatory counseling. TV commercials have recently surfaced in a campaign against meth. Not even once commercials are part of a program attempting to show what meth can do to people who try it even once. By now weve all heard about the person who became addicted to meth and screwed up their lives so bad they may never recover. If you are a responsible adult trying to get somewhere in life, meth is the fastest path to failure.

Can You Outsmart This Turkey?

Dear Editor, Having spent quite a few years on university faculties, Ive seen a number of campus newspapers. Only recently I was pleased to discover that MSU-B has one and enjoyed reading parts of the 11 October Retort. I dislike seeing faulty grammar circulated so must correct Niki Porter on a point in Police Blotter. someone on campus had drug paraphernalia in their dorm room. Of course, someone is singular, while their is plural. Now, his dorm room is always correct, though some writers use their in a misguided attempt to avoid belittling women. This was evidently not the case in the subject piece, however, for in the next sentence is found let police search his half of the room, but there is an amplitude of ways to respect gender sensitivities and still write proper English. Even less than poor grammar, though, I dislike seeing in public media words of the sort sprinkling Mike Shrages Voice in the same edition. As in the case above, proper alternatives are readily available, and one can write humorously without resorting to objectionable language. Sincerely, Dr. Larry E. Stanfel Roundup, MT

Providing Knowledge to the Community!

The Victorian now makes available through Montana Targeted Prevention

FREE Condoms & H.I.V. Testing.

CANDLES NOVELTIES BOOKS, TAPES & DVDS

Results in 20 minutes. All testing is anonymous.

Wed. thru Sat. 5:00 pm & 9:00 pm Hepatitis C Testing & Hepititis A & B Vaccinations every 2nd & 4th Tuesday 5:00 pm to 7:00 pm Next Test Dates Oct. 11th & 25th

245-4293

Bring in this ad & receive

20

YOUR OFF OF PURCHASE!

MINNESOTA AVE. & 21ST ST. TUES-SAT 12PM TO MIDNIGHT

Why You Should Judge a Book by Its Cover

We say we shouldnt, but we all do it. Even the most open-minded person makes split-second judgments and assessments of other people. In his book, Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, Malcolm Gladwell delves deeply into the complexity of decision making at the millisecond level. He flies in the face of conventional wisdom as he writes, We believe that we are always better off gathering as much information as possible and spending as much time as possible in deliberation, and goes on to add, Just as we can teach ourselves to think logically and deliberately, we can also teach ourselves to make better snap judgments. Those snap judgments have to do with emotion and instinct as well as experience. But, as Dr. Matt McMullen, Psychology professor at MSU-B says, One of the premises of psychology is people dont really know why they do what they do. Sometimes our snap judgments of others dont even make sense. Knowing this, is it safe to rely on our instincts? Sophomore in Business Marketing, Dawn Bundy thinks so. She says that she usually can read people pretty well. Of her instincts she says, They havent failed me yet. She credits her instincts for helping her choose her major. Trying to explain why people judge others she says, Because of differences in style they think they dont have anything in common with them. McMullen, says that people use stereotypes and tend to like people who are most superficially similar to themselves. Its not that were shallow, its that we have limited capacity. It also boils down to an innate survival mechanism which also explains why in studies people pick up on anger and ag-

turely means, Youre bound to pick apart a person in a wrong way and not see who the person is but how you want them to be. He says that because no one ever remembers everyone they meet, If you mess up, given enough time after the mess up you can go back and make a new first impression. Sarah Wattles, a freshman in Business Management says, When I first see people, I look at them and then disregard what they look like and listen to what they say. She says that snap decisions should be used cautiously. To Wattles using caution is important but she also says, The people who sit in the corner by themselves are too cautious. Kevin Majewski, sophomore in Psychology admits, I definitely have my opinions about people, and I make Graphic courtesy of www.artandgallery.it conclusions maybe when I first meet People form judgements about others as fast as a blink of them but the majority of the time, I the eye. would say that those initial conclugression more quickly than other emotions. sions are untrue. Terez Smith, a sophomore in Business Josh Bekel, a senior studying History Management says that split-second deci- with a minor in Math, says that he tends to sions are sometimes best, but adds that un- be rash instead of logical in his decision less you know how to read people really making because making rash decisions is well, you may be throwing away a good easier to excuse. He says that it takes keen possibility for a relationship. First impres- observation skills and an ability to listen in sions can be deceiving, she says, People order to read people well. Of first impresshouldnt have such high standards that they sions he says, If [a person] meets you one judge a person by the first impression. You time and thinks youre a weirdo then they may have caught them on the wrong day. dont get to know you. Years later they Andrew Plyman, sophomore in General might have said, Youre not quite the Education says that judging people prema- oddball I thought you were.

Freshmen Boot Camp Starring G.I. Joe

Its the penthouse of the freshman dorm, Petro Hall. Eighth floor Petro residents have the best view of Billings and the land south of the city from their balcony than anyone else on campus. There are about 75 people on our floor this semester, said Jenna Newman, Eighth Floors female Resident Assistant (RA). One of Petros floors houses almost twice as many residents as those in Rimrock Hall. Likewise, there are more bathroom stalls, more shower stalls and twice as many washers and dryers. Earlier this year there was a leak in the mens bathroom ceiling, said Ken Kern, Eighth Floor resident. [It] took out a light and two stalls. That was annoying. Nearly as annoying as the late night noise from the all-night partiers that have received several resident complaints. Theres been one kegger so far that I know of, said a resident of the floor who wishes to remain anonymous. Everyone there was underage. By reputation, Petro is known as the party dorm, where the kids fresh from home fulfill their dreams of absolute rebellion. Most of the time it stays quiet, but

sometimes it gets out of hand. Reserve. He chose G.I. Joe as the One time, said the same floors theme. I told him to pick someresident, this guy turned his music up so loud stuff fell of the wall thing that interests him, said Newman. I like the theme because its military, said Kern. Currently, Josh is away at reserve training and will be gone for a while. Some residents are concerned that, in the mean time, mayhem will rule. aside from insomnia, no ones been hurt Photo by Beth Kern seriouslyyet. Then again, what Eighth floor Petro goes commando. college student doesnt suffer from a healthy lack of sleep when in the next room. nights are spent studying and Eighth Floors male RA, weekends partying? Ahh! Life Josh, is a member of the US Army in the dorms is great!

Dr. Marcus Nynas Billings Family Chiropractic 2520 17th West Suite LL2 In College Park Professional Center 294-2820 Early Morning and Lunch Hour Appointments Available Most Insurance Plans are Accepted

17th St. W Poly Drive MSUB Rimrock Rd.

12345678 12345678 12345678 12345678 12345678 12345678 12345678 12345678

Art and Porn cont from page 1

considered beautiful. Is it any wonder where the expression art is in the eye of the beholder comes? Also according to Webster, the definition of obscene is anything that is offensive to modesty or decency. Pornography is defined as writings or pictures intended primarily to arouse sexual desire. In his book, Art and Pornography, Morse Peckham offers this definition of pornography: The presentation in verbal or visual signs of human sexual organs in a condition of stimulation. His thought is along the question, Given a work categorized as pornography, is it also possible to categorize it as art? Peckhams response is yes, however, growing concern is not focused on sexual content of the work; the concern lies in acceptability of the piece. Linda Kauffman, in her book Bad Girls and Sick Boys, discusses the court case Miller v. California, in which Chief Justice Warren Burger adopted the local community

standard rule. This gave obscenity three legal definitions: (1) whether the average person, applying contemporary community standards, would find that the work, taken as a whole, appeals to the prurient interests; (2) whether the work depicts or describes in a patently offensive way, sexual conduct specifically defined by the applicable state law; and (3) whether the work, taken as a whole, lacks serious literary, artistic, political or scientific value.

Taking the Community Standard to Task

This ruling was put into effect in 1990, when the Cincinnati Contemporary Arts Center and its curator Dennis Barrie were charged with pandering obscenity after displaying an exhibition of 175 photographs by Robert Mapplethorpe, titled The Perfect Moment. The court case unfolded at a time when liberal and conservative values in America were involved in a proverbial tugof-war. There were seven pictures in the show that constituted the grounds for prosecution. Several

were portraits of young children with visible genitalia; other photos depicted various sadomasochistic homosexual acts. One features a man with his hand up to his wrist inside another mans anus. Another is a photo of a man urinating into the mouth of another man. Another photo shows a man completely covered from head to toe in a leather suit with a breathing aparatus. A jury acquitted the Cincinnati Contemporary Arts Center and Dennis Barrie of obscenity charges, applying the criteria set forth by Chief Justice Burger in 1973. The photographs did merit serious artistic value. However, the jury discovered that the photos also appealed to prurient interests of the average person, and they showed sexual conduct in an unmistakably offensive way. Mapplethorpes vision was ground breaking. He deliberately created art that forced the viewer into performing a skillful balancing act between pure aesthetic pleasure and the pain of acknowledging their content.

Groundbreaking Art is Here to Stay

Doug Oltrogge, co-owner

of local gallery Artspace, said of attitudes toward artworks that some may find offensive: If art is supposed to be about beauty, and I dont necessarily think it is, and you show a nude male or female form, I personally think that you have an infantile mind with an arrested development at the age of 12 if you think nudes are dirty. When asked about the difference in peoples reactions to male and female nudes, Oltrogge said, People are much more accepting of a female nude because the male bodys penis can often be taken as a symbol for a weapon. When people make comments and judge a piece of art simply because it contains controversial material, that shows more about their own character than anything else. Art is not going away, and artists will always push the envelope in new directions. Sometimes people will create something merely for shock value, but we also need to remember that great art can create emotions that may not necessarily be comfortable, but that can help us grow as a people and as a society.

Drain Me Dry Then Slap a Cookie in My Mouth

nators to private areas to be asked a series of questions. Name, date Giving blood is something of birth, social security number are that everyone should do, if they are all standard, as well as a brief qualified, at least once in their physical (temperature, blood preslives. It takes about 30 to 45 min- sure etc.) Its not too scary. Where utes on average, and one it starts to get interesting is the bagoblood can save a life. Some- personal lifestyle questions. Most times the needles and thought of people can answer no to: Have blood gives people the willies, you received and injection since however it is actually quite cool 1980 of bovine (beef) insulin made to watch the whole process of do- from cattle in the United Kingnating. Explanations are usually dom. That seems a little silly, but the best way to go about starting some of the questions are very apany new thing, so here is Blood plicable to college students. If a prospective donator answers yes to, Have you gotten a tattoo or piercing in the last twelve months, they will be deferred and asked to come back when the deferral period is over. This is just to make sure that Photo courtesy of www.redcross.org there is no risk of Giving blood is a great way to give of yourself. Hepatitis getting into the blood bank. Donation 101. After the questions, if the doFirst, schedule an appointment. Walk-INS are welcome, nators make it all the way through, however it may take longer. First the nurses lead them to a dental time donors should plan on no type chair to be hooked up. The more than about an hour, and the whole process of actually letting more a person donates, the faster the blood out lasts about ten minthe whole process becomes. Upon utes, depending on flow. The arriving, the nurses will take do- nurses may ask participants to sit around and have a soda and a cookie to balance the sugars in the blood, but after that its over. The nurses will give the donators a number to call if they think their blood should not be used, and they are out the door. If the tests do show something awry; positive results for syphilis, HIV, hepatitis, the blood will not be used and the

donator is notified. Basically no news is good news. There is the peace of mind of knowing that that your blood saved a life, and that you didnt pick anything weird (STD) up off the toilet seat at the movie theatre. Every eight weeks eligible donors can go back and do the whole thing all over again or not.

Club Connections: Let Your Voice Be Heard

nances many of the other club organizations. lowing the rules in order to receive their fundShe oversees the committee when they de- ing and any other funding that ASMSU-B may Associated Students of Montana State cide on what funds go to which club or events need. and reports to the senate on the progress of Ruby Chunkapura is the Student ResoluUniversity-Billings (ASMSU-B) tions Officer and head of the Student Services ASMSU-B is the Universitys form of Committee. Ruby acts as a mediator between student government. This club organizes themany students that have a dispute between themselves similar to American government reselves and a professor. Her committee works sponsibilities and procedures. ASMSU-B is on activities that involve the students and the run by five students who make up the Execucommunity. The Easter Egg Hunt, Festival of tive Cabinet. Trees, and the selling of hockey tickets are just The President, Tracie Overberg, oversees a few events that the committee plans. the student body as a whole, works as a liaiSean Fucci is the Political Action Direcson between the administration and the stutor; his committee promotes political action dents. The president appoints the cabinet that in the student body and within the community. she sees fit for the upcoming year. She also Within the senate, this committee makes sure represents the student bodys interest at the that new policies are carried out and they are Board of Regents. considered politically correct. He along with Dan Hansen is the current Vice-President. His main responsibility is to oversee and Photo courtesy of www.msubillings.edu/asmsub the committee directs the political candidate run the meetings and make sure that respon- ASMSU-B consists of members of the student body. forums and alerts students on the politics that may be involved with MSU-B. sibilities are being fulfilled within the senate Overall this student organization has body. He also runs the Student Publication her committee. This committee allocates stuBoard and votes in a tie during the senate dent fees toward The Retort, Art Gallery, Stu- many tasks and challenges to face each semesdent Activities Board, the Pow Wow, and many ter. With the help of the advisors, faculty and meetings. Amanda Mears is the Business Manager; other club organizations and events. Amanda student body, MSU-Billings is bound for great her financial committee helps finance, or fi- personally makes sure that the clubs are fol- things this year. Accounts vary, but some demic because we have a poorly tated into a highly contagious say the 1918 flu pandemic killed funded/formulated plan at the na- deadly virus that could easily be as many as 100 million people. tional level. Scientists have been spread by coughing or sneezing Recently research has indicated asking for money for research for it could literally bring us down that the 1918 flu virus was pos- many years but have received no to our knees. Health services sibly a virus mutated from a bird support from Congress. Den- would be overwhelmed renderflu. The stories about the 1918 nis explained that it takes six ing them unable to give assisflu pandemic are almost unbe- months to produce a vaccination tance. High employee absenteelievable. While AIDS killed as when you know what virus ism would affect law enforcemany as 25 million people in its youre dealing with. At this ment, transportation, and comfirst 25 years, the 1918 flu munications would all be afmay have killed that many in While AIDS killed as many as 25 fected. Quarantines are imonly 25 weeks. There are stopossible to enforce, medicine million people in its first 25 years, ries of whole towns being afwould not be available(if the fected, mass graves dug with the 1918 flu may have killed that virus wasnt already resistant many in only 25 weeks. steam shovels and bodies burto what we have), and with ied without coffins because most individuals sick or taking there were no able-bodied people point, we wont know exactly care of someone who is sick, help to bury them. Other stories in- what the virus will be until it mu- from most organizations would clude tales of the skin bubbling tates. We need the capability to be hard to come by. With no one up and getting so many blisters grow the virus in cells instead of to run it, our whole infrastructure that when patients rolled over it chicken eggs, said Dennis. In could crash. sounded like plastic bubble wrap other words, stocking up on a Recently, President Bush popping. Of course, that could bunch of flu medicine is not go- has approved funding for more never happen to us, right? In this ing to work if a pandemic breaks research and prepared a national day and age? Wrong. out. We need the technology to strategy in case of a pandemic. According to medical mi- quickly produce a specific vac- It may be too little too late. Hopecrobiologist and immunologist cination. We do not have that at fully scientists will find a way to Dr. Michael Dennis of MSU-B this time. mass produce vaccinations more its not if the virus mutates but As almighty Americans, it is rapidly before the virus mutates when. Its almost a certainty, hard to believe that a simple flu and infects humans. Until then, said Dennis. Dennis went on to could actually become this seri- all we can do is hope our luck say, We are not ready for a pan- ous, but if the bird flu virus mu- doesnt run out.

what the big scare about avian flu is but put simply, if a human being had a human flu virus and also got infected with a bird flu virus and the viruses mutated and became a new virus we would not only not have any natural immunity to the virus, but we would not have a vaccine or proper medicine to treat it. In turn, if that virus became highly contagious in humans to where it was airborne, it would be very difficult to contain and we would be looking at a pandemic. What would be the big deal if everyone got the flu? Well, the answer is there are different types of the flu. Most of us have been immunized or through exposure have natural immune resistance to the flu. We get achy and sick but its not life threatening. However, if we had absolutely NO immunity to a much more lethal flu virus attacking us we could get severe pneumonia, conjunctivitis and eventually have our vital organs shut down by the virus. If you find this hard to believe take a look at the flu pandemic of 1918.

Flu cont. from page 1

Is MSU-B Loading to Capacity?

buildings on the list, only 10 ered for demolition. Over 50 were considered to be in percent of the buildings on In the previous issue, good condition. Seven of the campus need renovation. The there was an article devoted to 23 were considered for general ultimate question is why buy campus expansion. Hundreds more property of thousands of dollars is bewhen the campus ing put towards expanding the has tons of probcampus, but what about the lems in the first buildings that exist here alplace? ready? Are they safe, up to One may code and being used to their state that the fullest extent? After a little bit land is being of digging (basically going to bought for exthe MSU-Billings website), pansion of some of the information found crowded classwas a little scary. rooms; however The Campus Expansion that is not alPlanning Team met with the ways the case. In Photo by Nicole Livermont slight contradicFacilities Services Department to rate the existing buildings Is MSU-B wasting space? tion to the previon campus. They were divided renovation, four were consid- ous article about campus exinto four categories: good con- ered for major renovation (Lib- pansion, written by yours truly, dition, general renovation, ma- eral Arts, McMullen, Science, there is a conflict in the numjor renovation, and consider and Cisel), and the poor little bers. While the student popufor demolition. Of the 23 computer annex was consid- lation is indeed expanding, a

The New Dean in Town Dr. Tasneem Khaleel is

appointed as the new Dean of Arts and Sciences
After being chair of the MSUBillings Department of Biological and Physical Sciences since 1996, and serving as the interim dean for the past 20 months, Dr. Tasneem Khaleel has been appointed the new chair of the Arts and Sciences Department. Dean Khaleel is replacing the former dean, who went to New Zealand to be the Dean at the University of Waikato. After joining MSU-B in 1976 Khaleel became a popular biology professor and an astounding researcher. From 1993-1996, she served as the director of graduate studies and research, and the chair for the Department of Modern Languages. Since then she has won a variety of awards. In 2003 she was featured in the Yellowstone Valley Woman as the cover-story article. Full of independence and spirit, Dr. Khaleel is the first women to earn a Ph. D. from Bangalore University in India. At the age of 17, she received a Bachelor of Science degree in botany and zoology, and a minor in chemistry. She graduated with honors, and prestige. Her masters degree is from Mysore University where she graduated with high honors and moved on to become the first woman to receive a doctorate. With this new publicity, the media described her as too much to measure up to, too aggressive. After marriage, her husband proceeded to the United States to work on his doctorate, and with po-

space utilization study showed that, on average, classrooms had 19 students and were only filled to 53 percent of their capacity. Perhaps a preference for keeping class size small is one reason for the lack of students in class, but filling to only half seems a little wasteful. In addition, on a typical M onday/Wednesday/Friday schedule, there are less then 60 percent of rooms being used. Toward the afternoon that number sharply declines to less than 20 percent. For a typical Tuesday/Thursday class, the numbers reached just over 60 percent maximum, and way under 20 percent for the afternoon classes. The expansion may be a good idea; however, consideration should be taken for what the campus already has and uses in the first place. litical and racial problems in India, she followed her husband and left for the United States. At this time, she was the only India native in the Billings area. In the beginning, when the opportunity to be the dean of the College arose, she hesitated, fearing that the new career choice would take time away from the classroom and laboratories. After two years, she has found the balance between being the Dean and still being able to research and teach.

Photo by Nicole Livermont Dr. Khaleel was the interim Dean of the College of Arts and Sciences for 20 months.

Dr. Khaleel has demonstrated a real understanding of the University culture and history, while utilizing her considerable scientific research training to explore solutions to pending opportunities, said Dr. White, the interim provost and academic vice-chancellor. Currently, Dean Khaleel and her family have made a name for themselves. One of her two daughters is an attorney in Nebraska, while the other is in her second year of medical school in Vermont. Her husband, Shafiq, is a veterinarian and owner of the Lake Elmo Veterinary Clinic in the Heights.

Higher Education: Babies on Board

On a largely nontraditional campus like MSU-B, students of all ages fill up the classrooms. There are a number of others attending classes on any given day, however, who are not enrolled. And theyre not auditing classes, either. Children of students come to class with their parents almost every day at MSUB. Tara Madden, a 25-yearold English and Special Education major at MSU-B, said her daycare situation forces her to bring her four-year-old son to school with her sometimes. When hes sick he cant go to daycare, Madden said. Parents going to school can be caught up in a catch-22. If I dont show up to class, then my grade drops, Madden said, but if I bring my kid to class other students give us dirty looks. Bringing a sick child to school is a situation that most students, parents or not, can understand. However, it seems that MSU-B sees some children in school even when there isnt a childcare conflict. Dave Anderson and his 16-month-old daughter Ella are somewhat of a fixture in the LA building. Ellas mom, 43-year-old Kristi Ferderer, is a junior studying Psychology at MSU-B. For their family, bringing Ella and her dad to school each day is an economical decision. Not counting student loans, we lived on $4,000 last year, Anderson said. Since they live in Huntley and Anderson works an afternoon job, it makes more sense financially to drive in together in the morning and head out in the evenings, rather than making two trips. I audit a political science class, said Anderson of how he passes his hours on campus. those of Ferderer and Anderson. Logan lives in Ballantine and brings her son on the days he has doctor appointments. Most of the time, Logan said having her son in class hasnt been a problem, He sleepsI listen and take notes. Logan does worry about her baby being a distraction to other students. Dr. Randall Gloege of the English and Philosophy Department said that although he

Photo by Nicole Livermont This family can be found in the LA every day of the week.

As for keeping Ella entertained, Anderson brings snacks and lunch and keeps a hobby horse in his car. I bring it in and she rides it and people say how cute, Anderson said. Alea Logan, a 24-year-old English Education major, brings her four-month-old son to school for similar reasons to

encourages having open classrooms at MSU-B there could be mildly serious problems on test days when children are present. Students may become distracted when the baby makes funny little noises, Gloege said. Logan voiced a similar refrain to Maddens, speaking of the rock-and-a-hard-place in

Classified Ads
Help Wanted 10-12/hrs a week driving for Cafe Courier Flexible schedule Must use own vehicle Must have good driving record Contact Dustin @ 294.3301 $800 weekly guaranteed stuffing envelopes Send an SASE to Scarab Marketing 28 East Jackson, 10th Floor Suite 938 Chicago, Illinois 60604 Lost Lexar jumpdrive, silver with black lettering, from computers in Information Commons of MSU-B Library on Nov 2 about 10:30 am Reward for return with data intact. Alan 2598869

Retort

which student-parents sometimes find themselves wedged. I didnt have enough time to answer all of the questions, Logan said of a mid term test she took recently, but Id rather have him there than miss the test altogether. Since all courses at MSUB are tailored to adult students, content can be an issue when minors are in attendance. Joe Bernard, who doesnt have kids, is a 24-year-old in the L.P.N. program at the COT. You cant talk about certain things because a child is present. Bernard said, Teachers have asked moms to have their kids step out when theres graphic subject matter. Madden said, I wouldnt take my son to Shakespeare, because of the sexual content in the class. Dr. Gloege felt that trying to protect kids from mature conversations may be an exercise in futility. By the age of six, kids have heard just about everything, Gloege said. Overall it appears that most of the campus community is tolerant of the minor additions at school. Anderson said that while some people get annoyedthere havent been any real problems. Alina Stefek, a childless sophomore in the Health and Human Performance program at MSU-B, expressed the disapproval of some students. I understand it once in a while, but some kids come every day, said Stefek. I think thats unnecessary. Bernard said he found kids in class distracting, but added, What else are they [parents] going to do? Dr. Gloege is one professor at MSU-B who said he would consider excusing absences for parents if their kids prevented them from coming to class. I sympathize with the mothers, Gloege said. All students should be considerate of others on campus. If learning is compromised due to the presence of children, it becomes a problem. In those instances, students should notify their instructor. Otherwise, the live and let live philosophy may be the best approach on a diverse campus like MSU-Bs.

Community Food Campaigns for Local Agriculture

In the midst of an increasingly global economy two Northern Plaines Resource Council affiliates, the Bull Mountain Land Alliance and the Yellowstone Valley Citizens Council, have joined forces to keep some of Montanas home-grown meat and produce in the local community with institutional and individual patronage of local food and businesses. Your average meal travels over 1,300 miles before it reaches a dinner table, said Ed Gulick of the Community Food Campaign (CFC). That increases the cost of food and continues to increase it with the price of gas going up. Not only does buying local keep the cost down, said Jean Charter, Co-Chair of the CFC. It keeps that money in the local economy. The way it is now, explains Gulick. You can imagine a giant Corporate Food System shop-vac sucking the profits out of the state of Montana. Charter explains that if the approximately 120,000 people in the Billings community spent $10 a month on groceries produced locally, it adds up to over $1 million that continues to cycle through the local economy. Some companies like Big Sky would kill over that kind of economy, says Charter. The CFC started with Pat Seder, a farmer who convinced Deaconess Hospital to buy her origin labeling standard. Not only does buying locally build a stronger economy, it also builds a stronger community knowing who grows your food, said Charter. Until the CFC was started, Sodexho, which currently holds the contract on MSU-Billings Rimrock Caf, owned a monopoly in the city of Billings, shipping food in from out of state. Recently, Sodexho began serving locally grown food at the University of Montana in Missoula. In order for Sodexho to do that here, said Charter, they want a broker, which IGA is willing to do. However, the cost of liability has gone up and has taken the profitability out of the venture for IGA. Thats a downside, said Charter, but Sodexho needs to hear from the students in order for it to happen. Charter goes on to say that it would be profitable for the College of Business to look at this option. Instead of looking for big businesses, MSU-Billings needs to look for providers close to home for more than one reason. Number one, its more nutritious food, said Gulick. Its more economic. Its more environmentally friendly. Theres also a social value in knowing who produces your food. It also doesnt make sense to ship food out only to buy it back, adds Charter. The CFC puts on programs to promote local produce, said Nielsen. Every year the Yellowstone Valley Citizens Council puts on a cowboy stew dinner. This year the food we serve will be 99% Montana grown. It is donated by local ranchers and farmers. They also put on a picnic every September where they give Community Food Awards which went to Hearth Bakery and Strattons Butcher Block this year. Its a way of getting information out about the CFC, explains Nielsen. Keeping our food local is also a good source of jobs, said Charter. Montana used to have a large packing industry, and with that again we would have a solid local industrial foundation. We still grow the best grain in the world. It makes sense that we should keep some of it. It is, in essence, the reverse of globalization.

Graphic courtesy of www.allenneighborhoodcenter.org Montana is a great place to eat.

turkeys for their cafeteria. From there it has grown to include 24 stores, cafes and cafeterias throughout the Billings and Laurel area. The Campaign promotes local food and economy, said Mindy Nielsen of the CFC. But it crosses into the international economy. We are one of the many groups trying to make country of

The Odd Couple Pulls it Off

Hes a little country and theyre a little bit rock and roll. Breakout country artist Dierks Bentley and alternative country group Cross Canadian Ragweed played in Billings on November 3. The artists are in the midst of their second annual High Times and Hangovers Tour. After being booed in Great Falls the previous night, Cross Canadian Ragweed was warmly welcomed in Billings. Originally from Oklahoma, Cross Canadian Ragweed mixes classic country with a touch of rock and roll. I have to admit I was a little disappointed. I was expecting a traditional country band to open for Bentley. Although they played a different style of music than I was expecting, their music was really good. Having been around for 11 years, they definitely knew what they were doing. They put on an exciting, high-energy show. After an hour and a half, though, I was ready for Dierks Bentley. As Bentley took the stage, I tried to overcome my fear of large groups of people and make my way down in front of the stage. I was unable to conquer my fear, so I sat up in the bleachers. Even from a distance, it was apparent the energy Bentley brought to the stage. It was also obvious how much Bentley cared about his fans. A gentleman tried to bring the band drinks, but they were spilled before he made it to the stage. Bentley made a point to thank him and invite him out for a drink after the show. The concert drew in a crowd of around 1,000. Although they were small in numbers, they were big in heart. Bentley said that Billings was the best crowd they played for in Montana. Almost everyone was drinking, dancing and having a good time. Bentley also satisfied my need for a good ol country time. He played for over an hour and inPhoto by Amanda Patterson cluded some of his biggest hits. He also integrated cover songs from Hank Williams Jr. and Johnny

Bentley and crew rock the Shrine Auditorium.

Cash. Cross Canadian Ragweed also accompanied Bentley on the Cash classic Folsom Prison Blues. This was definitely the best concert I have ever been to. I have actually only seen two other live concerts, but I still think this concert was great. The artists put on an entertaining show. By the end of the night, I felt as if I knew the artists just a little bit better. I think this concert gave audiences a glimpse into the life of Dierks Bentley.

Dear Amelia and Harry

Q: Dear Amelia and Harry, This year Im in charge of making Thanksgiving dinner and Im worried about whether or not I should have turkey, what with the bird flu and all. I was thinking tofurkey, but Im wondering how everyone will react to that. Please help! Terrified about Tofu Amelia: Bird flu schmird flu! I cooked and defeathered birds for 30 years with out any USDA approval and Im still kicking. I believe this is a conspiracy against chicken farmers being led by Canadian beef producers! They thought wed forget about their mad cow, did they?! I dont think so! Just look at Harry! He came back from a beautiful trip to British Columbia, you really must get there before your too old. Anyway, he had to have the steak cooked rare and hes been goofier than a tick ever since, not to mention what its done to his bowels! So in answer to your question, my dear, st a y a w a y from that tofurkey hor se hockey and stick with the turkey. You may still get invited to Christmas dinner! Harry: First off, let me tell you about a Thanksgiving back in 68, where Amelias drunken, useless hooliga n cousin Thomas drank half a bottle of red wine and shot himself in the foot with his own gun. You wont see old Harry stressing that bird flu from the Orient, mainly because the only turkey Ill have this year comes from a bottle. Secondly, I never went on a trip to British Columbia, unless you consider how that wench of a wife tried to have me committed by a bunch of Nancy-boys in white pajamas. Needless to say, when it came down to fisticuffs, those boys went down quicker than an elbowed Frenchman! Believe you me, if I had to choose between that bird flu or Amelias overcooked stuffing and that ridiculous Jell-O mold in the shape of Gregory Pecks head, I would choose stead, I have to play checker with Weird disease every time. Eveerryytiimmee. Mel from the Costco, and he always smells like his own urine. Ill make you a deal, Q: Dear Amelia and Harry, take the bastards and Ill throw the bitch The holidays are a very stressful time in for free. Pass me the remote. for my family and I. My ex-husband and Amelia: Youre divorced? Well, I fight every year over custody of the chil- your poor kids! I bet you and your husdren. Weve tried to co-exist over a meal, band didnt think about them when you but it just doesnt work. I really want my made this important decision. No one ever children over at my house for Thanksgiv- tries to work things out anymore. You two ing, but my ex wants them to spend the should really go talk to Father Pat holidays with him and his new wife. Hoolihan at St. Josephs. Very handsome Confused in Dayton young man its a shame my granddaughter Jenny couldnt marry him rather than Harry: Tell you what, confused. You her excuse for a fianc. Hes Protestant! can have my little bastards who never Anyway, I think a mother should always come to visit me, who are too busy to come be with her children; even if she is going and play checkers with me in the park. In- to hell.

Elizabethtown: Something to Crowe About

I wish my life was more like a Cameron Crowe movie. From Say Anything to Singles to Jerry McGuire to Almost Famous, Cameron Crowe is by far my favorite filmmaker. That being, said, one could only imagine how giddy I was for his latest flick, Elizabethtown. After causing the Oregon shoe company he works for to lose nearly $1 billion, Drew Baylor (Orlando Bloom) is fired and dumped by his gold digging skank of a girlfriend in a span of 15 minutes. After a rather comical suicide attempt involving a large kitchen knife and a stationary bike, his ritual hari-kari is interrupted by a phone call from his sister, informing him of his fathers death. Being the responsible member of the family, and dealing with his mothers nervous breakdown,(played by Susan Sarandon, who easily steals every scene shes in) Drew finds himself on a red-eye flight, final destination his fathers hometown of point the topic of partial cremaElizabethtown, Kentucky. tion is discussed. On this flight, Drew meets The highlight of the film Kirsten Dunsts character, the quirky, unpredictable flight attendant Claire. Claire happens to be the antithesis of Baylor, and much like Kate Hudsons Penny Lane in Almost Famous, happens to be the sort of unpredictable free spirit you never find in real life. A crudely drawn roadmap and 10 minutes of instruction on how to pronounce Louisville later, Drew finds himself in unfamiliar territory with his fathers side of the family, many of whom he hasnt seen in years. The movie becomes rather predictable, but still entertaining at this point. Graphic courtesy of www.elizabethtown.com Drew engages in a sort-of Crowe pulls off another timeless favorite in Elizabethtown. relationship with Claire, resulting in the inevitable sexual en- is Drews fathers memorial sercounter. All the while, Drew is ar- vice, which involves a band playguing with his fathers family on ing Lynard Skynard, a flaming the issue of cremation, and at one paper mache bird that sets the re-

ception halls sprinkler system off, a tap dancing Sarandon, and flight attendant Claire directing fleeing mourners to the nearest exit amid torrents of water. The ending is painfully predictable, with Claire insisting Drew drive cross country back to Oregon, scattering his fathers ashes intermittently along the way. The question is not whether the two will end up with one another, the question is when. The verbal jousting between Dunst and Bloom is delightful, as is Drews inner-commentary. Like many of his other movies, music plays a pivotal role, resulting in a first-rate soundtrack. Crowe has drawn from many personal experiences for his movies, and it appears that Elizabthetown is no exception. I am an expert in last looks, Baylor says throughout the movie. That being said, Elizabethtown is worth not only a last look, but a first one as well. The verdict? Highly, highly recommended.

Its that time of year again, Thanksgiving, the time to tell everyone what youre thankful for! From teachers asking you to

write about it, to preachers telling you to keep it in your thoughts, its always the sameMy family, food, safety, health, yada, yada, yada. Why should it take Thanksgiving to make us

thankful for these things and then when were done with the turkey, go back to complaining about everything again? This year Id like to change the title to The things Ive taken for granted this

whole year until now. Now doesnt that sound a bit more honest? Lets ask the students and staff what theyve been taking for granted this whole year until now!

Im thankful for my nineI guess Im thankful for Ive taken my husbands having a home to come home to, help for granted all year. While I foot stinger! If you know what I and Im thankful to be alive, I go to school, he watches our mean, honey-bees! guess. daughter all day on campus. I was Buzz the Yellow Jacket taking it for granted until I had to School Spirit do it when he was taking a class. Jon Poe Art I took for granted everything he Professional Pollinator Billings Freshman does. Now I know! Great Falls, MT Kristi Ferderer Human Services Junior Huntley, MT

I take my husbands cooking for granted all year because he likes to do it and I do not! Around Thanksgiving I start to remember how thankful I am not to have to cook for everyone. He cooks the turkey, cranberries, pumpkin pie etc. and hes really good at it! He also doesnt mind doing it! Jan Fandrich Librarian Oneonta, AL

Franken Offers Wisdom and Humor for Living These Days

of Evil is an analysis of how Queers consisted of a three Franken, and many others be- prong barrage of ads and atArguably the comedian lieve that despite not winning tacks with two prongs directed laureate of American liberal- the clear mandate for conser- at undecided voters making ism, former Saturday Night vative governance, that Sean them believe that, one, John Live staff writer, cast member Hannity would have Ameri- Kerry was an unpatriotic and current talk radio host Al French loving liberal from Franken has since the release Taxachusetts (Smears). of his 1996 bestseller Rush Two, if Kerry was elected Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot the United States would made a career out of finding again suffer a major the blatant hypocrisy between terriost attack (Fears). some of the statements and acThe third prong appealed tions of the leaders of Amerito the presidents evancan conservatism. Not only gelical base, by decrying calling them on it and debunkrecent decisions by state ing it, but unceasingly joking courts legalizing the marabout it. In essence taking a riage of homosexuals as a spoonful of sugar helps the threat to the American medicine goes down apway of life (Queers). proach, to his efforts against Franken also decries the the right wing governmentalDemocratic National think tank-media complex that Committee and the Kerry he believes has hijacked the campaign for continunations governance for far too ously playing themselves long. Cover by Jan Cobb/Dutton Books in to the traps Rove, had His latest book published Franken is at it again with his latest. set or in his word making by Dutton and simply titled it appear that Kerry was The TRUTH (with jokes) cans believe, George W. Bush Bushs bitch. continues that pattern of pur- managed to win reelection last Book two: Seeds of Colposeful humor. Franken di- fall. In short the Franken argu- lapse then details the series of vides the 307 pages of Truth ment rests on evidence that missteps made since the elecinto two books: The Triumph chief white house political ad- tion by the Bush administration of Evil and Seeds of Col- viser Karl Rove and company and its allies on Capitol Hill. lapse as well as an epilogue devised an assault on the hand- From failure of the president to entitled The Resurrection of ful of voters in a number of key cut short his holiday to deal Hope. states. The blitz termed by with the Christmas tsunami (reBook one: The Triumph Franken as Fears, Smears and viewers note: prelude to Katrina?), to his flying back to Washington to sign the bill ordering the federal courts to intervene in the Terri Shaivo matter, to the lack of planning in post war Iraq. Its all here and lays out a pretty scathing indictment of the people currently in power. The epilogue: Resurrection of Hope contains just one chapter: a letter from Al Franken to his grandchildren dated Oct. 2, 2015 in which Grandpa Al describes the chain of events that transpired from the midterm elections of 2006, when the Democrats regained Congress to the first 100 days of a unnamed Democratic administration in the winter of 2009, when most of the damage wrought in the previous eight years is undone. While exaggerated it truly gives us liberals courage for the living of these apparently dark days. In conclusion I give this book 9 out of 10. To have scored a 10 in my book, Franken would have to do what I have yet to see any Democratic leader or talking head do. Give not just a broad strategic vision of what to do once we are back in power but a detailed tactical plan of how to win the necessary elections.

Professor Profile: Dr. Judith A. McLaughlin, Department of Psychology

Melissa DeVries: What do you teach here at MSU-B? Judith McLaughlin: Psychology, Specific and General Psychology, Developmental Psychology, Gender Differences, Adult Psychology, and Statistics. MD: How long have you been teaching here? JM: Last year it was 20 years so this year Im on my 21st. MD: Where did you grow up, go to college and that sort of thing? JM: I grew up in Northern Virginia in a suburb of Washington D.C. Lets see, my undergraduate I got at George Mason University. Back then the school was a lot like this school. It was a commuter college, they didnt have dorms there yet. I then went to graduate school at Clark University in Massachusetts. MD: What made you choose to you? teach at MSU-B rather than an- JM: Think! Dont just memorize, other school? try to understand, Think! JM: (Laughs) They offered me MD: Whats your biggest pet peeve or irritant with students? JM: Im running through a list in my head! When students want something for nothing. I guess that summarizes all of it. MD: What do you do in your downtime or time-off; do you have any hobbies? JM: Depends on your concept of time off! I enjoy recreational stuff. I do a lot of needle work. I sew and knit. I play guitar and when its warm, I like to go camping, get away from civilization! case and path coming down from the west Rimrock parking lot. They should really have incorporated that in the design. MD: Where do you plan on going or what do you plan on doing when you retire? JM: I will stay here because this is where my family is and this is our home. MD: What is one thing students probably do not know about you (and something youd be willing to share)? JM: I share too much with them already! I dont think any of them know I play classical guitar, I usually just tell them all the bad stuff! MD: Final question: Beer, Wine or Whiskey? JM: Whiskey if I can pick whiskey sours as my drink. Wines O.K. but I love whiskey sours! This is certainly not a good thing!

the job! I had 10 interviews that year! We really do love Montana. I did teach for five years in Pennsylvania. In Amish Country, and all the women wore the same thing. Lets just say we didnt fit in! (We being her and her daughter) Its MD: If you had the power to nice because here in Montana you make one change at MSU-B that can be an individual. would improve the University for the students and staff, what would MD: What should students do to it be? stand out in your class or impress JM: Truthfully, Id put a stair-

Turkey Alternatives for the Avian Flu Conscious

1/2 teaspoon barbeque sauce move from heat; let stand 5 minutes and fluff with a fork. To the 1/4 teaspoon prepared mustard stuffing add bread cubes, sage The traditional Thanks- 1-1/2 teaspoons orange jam and 2 tablespoons water. 3. Afgiving bird has been given a sec- 1/2 teaspoon orange juice ter tofu has chilled, preheat oven ond thought with the recent bird 1-1/2 teaspoons sesame seeds 1. Drain and rinse tofu; in a to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). flu craze. Just to clear the air, the flu isnt transmittable by eating an food processor or blender, process With 2 tablespoons of the veginfected bird if it is cook thor- tofu until smooth. Stir in salt, etable oil, grease a baking sheet. oughly. Moving on, if you still marjoram, savory and pepper. 4. Remove the top layer of paper have bird flu fears and want to Line a sieve skip the turkey and traditional din- with 2 sheets ner, here are some turkey alterna- of paper towel and place tives. First and foremost famous over an empty of alternatives is the tofurkey. bowl. Place You guessed it, its a turkey made tofu in lined and of tofu. Heres a recipe for the sieve press against tofurkey: sides to form 1/2 pound firm tofu a deep well in 1/2 teaspoon salt the middle. 1/8 teaspoon dried marjoram Place 2 more 1/8 teaspoon dried savory sheets of pa1/8 teaspoon pepper 1/2 (12 ounce) package dry bread per towels This year eat the rich for a safe alternative to turkey. over tofu and stuffing mix refrigerate for 2 hours. towels from the tofu. If neces1/3 cup water 2. Meanwhile, in a medium sary, again press tofu against the 2 tablespoons soy margarine saucepan over medium-high heat sides of the sieve to form a well. 1/2 slice bread, cubed combine stuffing mix, 2/3 cup Spoon the stuffing mixture into 1/4 teaspoon sage water and margarine. Bring to a the well and smooth the surface 1 tablespoon water 2 tablespoons and 1-1/2 tea- boil; reduce heat to low, cover with a spoon. Invert the tofu and simmer for 5 minutes. Re- mold onto prepared baking sheet. spoons vegetable oil, divided Remove the remaining paper towel layer and shape the tofu with your hands if it has cracked or lost its shape. 5. Bake in preheated oven for 30 minutes. 6. -Benjamin Franklin wanted the national bird to be a turkey Meanwhile, prepare the glaze by instead of the bald eagle. Thanksgiving would be extinct if that combining barbecue sauce, muswere the case. tard, orange jam, orange juice, sesame seeds and remaining 3 -Turkeys can drown if they look up when its raining. tablespoons oil. After tofu has baked for 30 minutes, brush or -Turkeys have been known to have heart attacks! When the spoon the glaze over it. Return Air Force was conducting test runs and breaking the sound barrier, to the oven and bake for 20 minfields of turkeys would bite the dust. utes more. 7. Broil for 3 to 5 minutes, or until tofu is browned -The Mayflower, the boat that brought the pilgrims to Ply- and crispy. This tofurkey recipe mouth, was the size of an average living room and carried about serves two. If you are serving a 102 people. Now that must have been some house party! larger group of people customize the recipe for the expected -During the run of the Macys Thanksgiving Day parade, Santa number of guests. Clause has ended the parade every year except 1933. That was the A second alternative is a year where he led the parade. more fishy choice. Fish, such as

Fast Facts: Thanksgiving Style

salmon, can make a great and different choice for Thanksgiving. A quick roasted herb and butter salmon may be your best choice. Check this recipe out: Whats needed 4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) butter or extra virgin olive oil 1 teaspoon minced tarragon 1(2-3 lb) salmon fillet, skin on (scales removed) or off 1 tablespoon chopped dill salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste 2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley 1. Preheat the oven to 475 degrees. Melt the butter (or heat the olive oil) in a medium roasting pan, either on the top of the stove or in the oven as it preheats. 2. Stir in the tarragon, dill, and half the parsley. Place the salmon in the pan, flesh side down, and put the pan in the oven. Roast about 5 minutes, then turn and roast 3 to 6 minutes longer, until the salmon is done (peek between the flakes with a thin-bladed knife). Sprinkle with salt and pepper, garnish, and serve immediately, with the pan juices spooned over, and garnished with the parsley. This recipe serves six to eight people and takes about 15 minutes to prepare. As for side dishes, there are tons of ways to break the norms of Thanksgiving. From vegan to vegetarian or regular old meat lover there are some very unique dishes to spice up your holidays. Depending on what taste you prefer and how creative you want to get, there are tons of alternatives that will leave your guests in awe. From squash and apple soup to fall fruit compote or a roasted beet and balsamic puree there are many recipes like these available on web sights like diabetic-lifestyle.com or allrecipes.com. Check it out and get some new ideas.

-The Macys Thanksgiving Day Parade was cancelled in 1942, 1943, and 1944 due to World War II. -The Detroit Lions have hosted a Thanksgiving Day NFL game almost every year since 1934. -After his Packers lost the Thanksgiving Day game against the Lions in 1962, Vince Lombardi refused to take his team to Detroit on Turkey day. Future Packers coaches followed his lead and didnt play a Thanksgiving Day game in Detroit until 1984. -Most historians believe that venison was actually the main course at the first Thanksgiving dinner! -Maine, Virginia, Texas and Florida all believe that they, not Massachusetts, were the site of the first Thanksgiving.

Amanda Patterson

fundraising events for a major charity. I want to be a major party planner. Top of celebrity make out list: Matthew McConaughey Famous person youd most like to kick the crap out of: Jessica Simpson Recurring nightmare : Every time I get stressed out, I dream that I am running around trying to get everything done, but I cant seem to accomplish anything. It is the worst feeling in the world. Age: 21 About your photo: Why do Hometown: Frannie, WY people always need a photo on the Major: Public Relations day you decide not to fix your hair? Minor: None Dream job: I would love to plan It is the story of my life.

Name: Dan Sporkman Hansen Age: 26 Hometown: Kayak Point, WA (50 miles N. of Seattle) Major: Math Education Minor: Spam Sculpting Dream job: Rock Star or Truck Driver Top of celebrity make out list: Kate Beckinsale Famous person youd most like to kick the crap out of: Andy Dick Recurring nightmare: Jeb Bush becomes President

Dan Hansen

About your photo: Best one I got, I am traditionally uglier than this.

Laughter Truly is the Best Medicine

sure peoples physiological state at the health of senior citizens living in the time they are laughing, so re- nursing homes. They have found that Laugh, it will make you feel searchers form their statistics using laughing had positive effects on their health. Another study was done with better. Everyone has heard the saywomen who had been widowed reing, but is it an old wives tale or is cently. The women were re-interthere a factual basis to it? viewed after a couple of years had Psychologists have started expassed and the psychologists found perimenting with positive psycholthat most of the women who had opogy in the past 20 years. They have timistic attitudes were remarried and found that laughing is comparable getting on with their lives. The to exercising because heart rates inwomen who were pessimistic were crease when laughing and when the Photo courtesy of members.aol.com person quits, resting heart rate de- A laugh a day keeps the doctor away. still dwelling on the death of their loved ones. That study as well as othcreases. Dr. Walter, a psychiatrist at ers have shown that optimistic attiHigh Plains Psychiatry in Billings, tudes are more of a state of mind beproclaimed that without a doubt, questionnaires and interviews. Psychologists have monitored cause they do not fluctuate day to Depression worsens physical problems. She wanted to make it known that depression is treatable and that there is help available. In her experience, people who dwell on the negative aspects of their health actually magnify their ailments. Overeating accompanies stress as well as negative feelings. People eat to feel better, but overeating leads to obesity and that leads to additional health problems. So, experts recommend that when you feel upset, take a long walk or go for a run. Pessimistic attitudes can lead to such health problems as heart attacks and diabetes. Positive psychology focuses on the positive aspects of people, not dysfunction. It is an attempt to increase peoples overall well-being using positive things. Psychology generally focuses on negative things, stress and anxiety, but positive psychology is antiDSM. The DSM-IV is a guide of categories of mental illness. The experiments done on positive psychology are purely observational because it is difficult to meaday. After tragic events people who have optimistic attitudes bounce back more quickly than those who do not. So, you might ask, what can you do to be more optimistic? The happiest people are those who are selfless. Activities as mundane as chatting with friends or working in the garden have shown to have the greatest affects on health. Activities that fulfill basic needs, such as eating well, having friends, sleeping, and exercising are the ingredients for a healthy being. To test this theory, try volunteering this holiday season. Eat well, exercise, and spend time with the ones you love.

Should Journalists Protect Their Sources or Protect Their Hineys

The founders of the Constitution feared a society without freedom of press. The First Amendment of the Bill of Rights allows this very freedom, but what about the ethics of the journalist. The Judith Miller case illustrates this controversy perfectly. Judith Miller, a reporter for the NY Times, wrote a series of articles claiming that weapons of mass destructions were present in Iraq. In the time that U.S. troops have been in Iraq, they have found no evidence of weapons of mass destruction. The controversy arises about whether Miller published truthful facts. The fact that she would not reveal her sources landed her an 18month sentence. Miller only served 85 days of the sentence. Should journalists have the option to conceal the identities of their sources? The courts have generally upheld journalists right to conceal the identity of their sources unless there is a government need. This is a privilege, but I think it is important for the freedom of press. If sources are afraid they will be exposed they may decide not to reveal important information. This could lead to a less informed public. If journalists are not allowed to freely explore sources without the fear of governmental interference, it could seriously infringe upon the First Amendment right. There is no more important document than the Constitution and if Americans allow these rights to be ignored it may never end. If we allow the freedom of press to be infringed upon what will be next. The other part of this controversy stems from ethical journalism. The freedom of press is extremely important, but only if journalists are honest. If journalists refuse to reveal their sources because they are false, it will also lead to the destruction of credible information. I think it is the responsibility of the newspaper editor and publisher, not the government, to ensure that journalists are printing truthful facts. I think the courts that the courts should not have been able to hold Miller in contempt for refusing to reveal her sources. The founding fathers created the Bill of Rights to protect the individual. As long as the Constitution is the law of the land, freedom of press should be held in the highest regards. If Judith Miller fabricated facts it would be a shame, but as far as the court rulings dont think that they should be able to violate the journalist freedom of press. In light of the scandal and controversy surrounding former New York Times reporter Judith Miller s incarceration and release, a national buzz has risen over the specifics of passing a federal shield law. A federal shield law would prevent journalists from being held in contempt for refusal to reveal sources. Currently, all states (except Wyoming) have a shield law in place that offers reporters some protection. The debate now is whether or not we should pass a federal law also. At first glance the federal shield seems to be in opposition to the First Amendment and Freedom of the Press. The public deserves to be informed, right? Under closer scrutiny, however, this proposition is shown to lead to potentially dangerous obstructions of justice. Rather than acting as an expeditor to truth and justice, a federal shield law would act as a stumbling block instead. As the law stands now, reporters can be subpoenaed and required to disclose the identity of a source. Judith Miller was held in contempt because she would not reveal her sources identity. Whats important to understand is that this law is not necessary.

Journalists are already protected under their own states laws. Feds are not out there serving papers to reporters all the time and throwing them in jail. In fact, since 1991 only 12 of these instances have actually occurred in the U.S. This isnt a situation of the government bullying the media. The circumstances surrounding Millers case are muddled with issues of national security. When my safety and that of the country are involved, all pertinent information needs to be divulged in order to protect the collective citizen, not just the solitary reporter. Imagine that your good friend (respected journalists) told you something that had been going on behind your back (weapons of mass destruction in Iraq). In order to know how to proceed, you would probably demand to know who told your good friend; youd consider the source of the information (I. Lewis Scooter Libby). In a country where we feel such a high degree of entitlement to being informed, we cannot enlist any law that will prevent federal agencies from collecting intelligence that is vital in th eportection of our fair nation. National security isnt a matter of one or two people, but for all of us.

Sporkman

by Dan Hansen

Scraping the Barrel: The Thanksgiving Edition

knocking up his recent girlfriend and then ditching her for Britney. Oops, I did it again indeed. Instead, lets focus on his rap career. In a move screaming for an intervention from Vanilla Ice, K-Fed (which is his rap name, presumably because No Talent Ass Clown was already taken) is clutching to Britneys coattails with a white-knuckled fear that she might ditch him and hell find himself working at Old Navy folding cargo pants, scraping enough change together for bus fare to the STD free clinic. I hate people asking me for money, especially televangelists. I never was able to figure this out. Jesus Christ can rise from the dead, walk on water, and give Neil Patrick Harris a career after Doogie Howser, but youre telling me he cant score a low-interest platinum card from Visa? I say forget Jesus. Charity starts at home. Mikes home. Give me your money. I need it more than J.C. and I wont even insult your intelligence doing it. And why does Jesus need money? Do you think his rent is two months past due, or his babys momma is hollering for child support? Either way, he should still have some handsome residuals coming his way from The Passion of the Christ. Maybe he ought to call Mad Max and ask whats going on. My editor isnt at the top of my to hug list either. Maybe its her ridiculous hats that make her look like Mushmouth or a gay bus driver from the lower east side, or maybe its the simple fact that her pictures keep getting bigger and more plentiful as each issue goes by. I think the situation is rectified, which is fortunate because now we wont be subjected to articles like Olivia- Find out what she ate for breakfast! and Oliviacould she have stopped the Cold War? It certainly isnt because she wouldnt let me write an article titled I Never Headlined A Tijuana Donkey Show: And Ten Other Lies Your Girlfriend Told You. I think we have far too many CSI variants. I cant wait for the magazine ad in TV Guide telling us to tune into CSI: Omaha starring Billy Dee Williams and half of the Doublemint twins. Can you imagine if other TV shows spun off and wed have David Lee Roth on Van Halen: Texas Ranger? I can imagine this, and it is truly frightening. Finally, boy bands. If you have five, sometimes as many as six, thirty-somethings who play no instrument, just harmonize with one another, and they still need backup singers, something is horribly wrong. Ill suggest a reality show, where the last one to learn to play a guitar gets mauled by a puma, and locked in a truckstop mens room. Finally, I am definitely not thankful for Paris Hilton and any sex tape variants. I swear, Im still traumatized by the freaky green night vision romping, and the fact that every time I see a naked Paris Hilton, I keep saying to myself Have a sandwich, Skelator. With all of her pointy edges, having sex with Paris Hilton would be the equivalent of a washing machine repairman poking you with a protractor. As a happy equivalent, a special Happy Birthday to my dysfunctional siblings Lisa, Courtney, and Sam. I wish I was adopted.

Rather than doing something already done to death, like what Im thankful for this November 24, being I dont feel its any of your damn business, I thought I would turn the table on you all and do the opposite; what Im not thankful for. Ladies and Gentleman, Scraping The Barrel: The Thanksgiving Edition. First up, Kevin Federline, also known as Mr. Britney Spears. Probably the most obvious case of fame being sexually transmitted. Forget for a second his pre-pubescent facial stubble and a wardrobe that resembles NSyncs going-out-of-business garage sale. Even forget about

Jacket Spikers Fall in Conference Championship Game

The most successful season in MSU-Billings Yellowjacket volleyball history ended with the Jackets falling just short of their first ever NCAA tournament appearance as Western New Mexico defeated MSU-B in the championship game of the heartland conference tournament on November 12. Despite the loss, head coach Paulasi Matavao was pleased with the overall effort his team gave this season. Im proud of these kids and what they were able to do this year, says Matavao. Im proud of how well they came together to get us here. En route to the title match the Jackets (20-8) did manage to win the first ever postseason game in school history on November 11. In the semifinal round they defeated Incarnate Word in three straight games 3022, 30-27, 30-26. In the win over the Cardinals, MSU-B junior outside hitter Ali Watson was dominant as she led the team in several categories recording 21 kills, 19 digs and four service aces. They could not stop her, said Matavao, she was pounding it down. The victory over UIW was considered somewhat of an upset as just the previous weekend the Cardinals had taken two matches from the Jackets on their home floor. WNMUs victory over St. Marys set up the championship match between the two longtime rivals from their days in the Pac-West conference. MSU-B had split their two previous meetings with the Mustangs this year handing WNMU their only loss in 19 South Central region games. On this night, however, the Mustangs proved too much for the errors making 43 of them and in Jackets despite jumping out to an the remaining games Western New Mexico took quick care of the Jackets to win the match the match 3-1.

Looking Ahead
If this year was any indication, next year should prove to be very exciting for MSU-B. The squad will be poised to pick up where they left off this year and earn that NCAA tournament bid. Matavao will return all eight of the players on this years roster. Watson, Alexis Sandru, Natalie Bills and Jessica Bratton are the returning Photo by Mattt Langman Middle blocker Alicia Cazamier goes up for seniors filling key positions. The Jackets may also be the a ball during the Jackets win over Rocky. preliminary favorite to win early lead winning game one 3331. MSU-B could not find a way the Heartland next year because to contain WNMU stars Stephanie Western New Mexico will be Higgins and Courtney Heiser. Nor joining the Rocky Mountain Athcould they seem to avoid attack letic Conference.

Vol. 36, Issue 9, December 8, 1981

...give Planned Parenthood of Montana a call at 656-9980. They offer a full range of health care services, including birth control, annual exams, and STD testing. And, your visit is confidential.

Choose Planned Parenthood.

EMC mascot Mary House was the Buzz of the 80s.
(406) 656-9980 Billings www.impp.org 1844 Broadwater Ave.

Pro Leagues, Unions Brought Doping Legislation Upon Themselves

According to reports coming from Capitol Hill, the United States Senate is within days of passing legislation that forces professional sports leagues to adopt stricter punishment for players who test positive for the use of illegal performance enhancing substances, especially anabolic steroids. The bill sponsored by Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., and former major league pitcher turned parliamentarian Sen. Jim Bunning, R-Ky., would mandate a automatic half season ban the first time an athlete tested positive for such a substance. A subsequent positive test would lead to a full season suspension while a third violation would mean a lifetime ban. If passed in the Senate the bill already has sponsors lining up to guide it though the House of Representatives and would likely be signed into law by the President. How did we get to this point? The Congress of the United States having to step in and oversee the drug testing within private albeit high profile corporations. We got here for several reasons, but in my mind one reason sticks out above the rest. The sports leagues refused to adequately police themselves. Historically Congress, particularly Republican Congresses, such as the one we have now points with the moral majority of tem. loathe to reach so far down and that day immediately began beatProfessional sports did not regulate the inner workings of a ing the war drums about censor- seem to learn from this example business, particularly one that is ship. however. They have had many not essential to the economic staTo avoid such a fate Holly- months to show Congress that bility or national defense of the wood created the Motion Picture they are serious enough about stenation. Only when public indig- Producers Association of America roids to satisfy their critics. With nation rises to levels comparable and installed as its head former the exception of baseball commisto the decibel meter of Washing- Harding administration official sioner Bud Selieg who despite his ton-Grizzly Stadium during a and Washington insider William many faults saw the writing on the playoff game and when the target Hays. Hays in turn appointed a wall on this account and proposed of said indignation is not a politi- committee to come up with an for his game what was essentially cally powerful group do they act. industry wide production code the McCain-Bunning resolution. When the Congress does act and a self-enforcement structure The only difference being a first it is usually in a form that makes that would clearly spell out what offense penalty of 50 games not a the best public spectacle half season (81 of an investigative comgames in baseball). mittee hearing such as The commissioners the one held on steroids in the major sports in sports by the House kept repeating the Govermental Affairs same refrain our Committee last spring policies towards the and summer. Even if, as abuse of perforin that case, the conmance enhancing gressmen and senators drugs are adequate are not satisfied with the enough while the results of their day of union leaders includcamera posturing and ing those in baseball emotional testimony basically charged they rarely pass a law. that the exciting Graphic courtesy of http://www.news8now.com/data/news_stories Take for instance policies are too the case of the motion Pro sports leagues should have had more balls about strict. regulating the steroid use of their athletes. picture industry in the The arrogance late 1920s and early 1930s as could be said and acted out in displayed by the pro sports estabmovies moved into the sound movies. The Motion Picture Pro- lishment towards what some call era. There were several instances duction code would go into effect the most powerful legislative of public outcry due to what was in 1934 and remain so until 1967 body in the history of western perceived as questionable dia- when it was replaced by the cur- naturally angered the members of logue and situations. Congress rent, also industry not congres- congress and that my friends is seeing an opportunity to score sionally, mandated ratings sys- why we have this legislation.

Playoff Loss Caps Lady Jackets Season

the second year running. In their take full advantage of St Marys only meeting with St. Marys seven fouls. STMUs Kelly The MSU-Billings season MSU-B defeated the Gonzalez scored the lone goal womens soccer season came to Rattlers 1-0 on September 5, at of the game about 12 minutes an end on November 3 when the COT field. But the rematch just into the second half for a 1-0 Yellowjackets fell to St. Marys Rattler victory. St. in the semifinals of the HeartMarys ended up falling land Conference tournament in 1-0 to Incarnate Word in Austin, Texas finishing with an the championship game, 11-5-2 record. Despite the outthe Cardinals advancing come, says head coach Don to represent the Heartland Trentham the experience of a in the NCAA tournament. postseason game was good for There is Always the players and coaches as the Next Year program moves closer to its goal With only one of making the NCAA tournaplayer, defender Lacy ment. Albrent scheduled to Going into the game graduate at the end of this against the Rattlers, MSU-B had academic year the Lady all the reason to believe success Jackets looked poised to was possible. The Lady Jackets Photo by Matt Langman make louder noise in the entered the tournament winners Midfielder Mandy Ploskonka was named Heartland Conference of four of their last six games, Heartland Conference Freshman of the year. and Midwest Region next including wins over regional opponents Dallas Baptist and wasnt to be. St. Marys turned year. Returning for MSU-B will Angelo State and an important the tables on MSU-B, despite non league 2-0 win over Rocky the Lady Jackets out shooting be 19 players including 10 startto capture the Rimrock Cup for the Rattlers 6-5 they failed to ers: leading goal scorers from

this year, forward Brittney Sandau and midfielder Ally Stroup who each had nine goals this year. Another key to success will be goalkeeper Megan Plank, whose season total .805 save percentage led all net minders in the Heartland Conference. Plank also holds the distinction of leading the Lady Jackets in all time saves with 255 and wins with 43. Look also to Heartland Conference freshman of the year, midfielder Mandy Ploskonka and defender Micah MerrillJohnson, whose freshman effort of .778 led the team in shots on goal percentage, to have breakout years during their sophomore campaign. I am very proud of the way our team played this year, said Trentham, With the amount of talent we have coming back, I am also looking forward to the 2006 season and hopefully bringing a league championship to MSU-B.

dobe huts offset the falsefronted stores and saloons of the small town that lay surrounded by the desolate waste of the surrounding desert. Moderate activity filled the boardwalks and the single street with passing attention to the stranger on the leggy bay riding up the street. Bleached-blue eyes swept right to left, brushing over the buildings and the people from the white clad Mexicanos to the tall Americans, to two children hiding around the corner of an adobe, watching him ride past. Seor Lobo! he heard one hiss in awe. The worn stock of the Henry rested against the bays flank at the strangers knee, the wood the same shade as the horses hide. His gaze fixed on the boys sending fearful chills up their spines. It froze them, wordless as he rode past, moving on. He rode to the end of town to a small hut with Jail scrawled in red paint on the wall above the door. Out of habit his hand went to the Henry, drawing it from the boot as he dismounted. The jailhouse was as he expected; hot cramped, dirty, and smelling of soured whiskey. He crossed the room to the desk, kicking empty bottles away with each step, glass crunching and popping underfoot. From the mound of papers, he plucked an envelope of dodgers, stirring a cloud of dust as he did. He tore the end of the folded

Vigilance by Tommy Wendal

paper and thumbed through the contents. A picture drew his attention, sucking him into recollection. A flurry of activity, a blur of images danced through his mind. Small, narrow eyes, set into a scarred head, glared menacingly down at him from the shadow of a dilapidated hat. A gaping hole where a nose once jutted marred the already ugly face. A gravely voice, like a bear growl shouted over the explosions of pistols and womens screams. All around him, bodies lay in bloody mud, stabbed, torn, shot. Through it all, that barbaric, growling chuckle echoed. The door latch clattered, jolting him out of the memory. The Henry came up, the barrel meeting the pug nose of a fat man who entered the hut. The eyes glittered as large as the round face, wide as the sheriff sobered at the sight of the stranger, still examining the dodger as he held the heavy rifle in one hand. Take what you want, the man whined. I wont stop you. With his free hand the stranger

folded the papers and slipped them into this shirt, his cold eyes lifting to the slovenly figure at the end of his rifle. He gestured the drunken man into the single cell at the back of the hut and, unable to find the keys, struck the man over the head. The fat form hit the dirt floor with a heavy thud and rolled onto his back. The stranger left the hut calmly, riding to the dry-goods store for supplies. He kept the rifle in hand as he stepped into the flimsy building. The

Yacines Picks
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Gladiator Blow Big Fish Joe Dirt Finding Nemo

boys from the alley pressed their faces to the window, watching him. Across the street a Mexican caballero leaned against a veranda post. He was lean, hard with skulking brown eyes. His sombrero hung from a thick cord around his neck. The boys didnt see him, but scattered from the board walk as the stranger stepped back into the sunlight. Slipping the Henry back into the boot, the stranger began securing the saddle bags under a wellworn bedroll. Gringo! His hands froze. He took a slow breath, inhaling patience. I want your horse, gringo! He glanced at the Mexican, now standing upright with a hand

dangling beside his sidearm. Ignoring the challenge, the stranger finished tying down the saddle bags as the caballero taunted him in Spanish. As he turned to unloop the reins from the rail the sound of the caballeros hand slapping leather brought him back around drawing a pistol from a black shoulder holster. A single shot induce a reign of silence. The caballero pitched forward into the street, dead before he hit the sand. Straightening, the stranger reached into his shirt for the papers. He re-holstered the pistol as he crossed the street and stood over the body, again flipping through the printed sheets. A crowd gathered, forming a human corral around the stranger and the dead man. No one spoke. He pulled a sheet from the bunch, examined it then tossed it away. The browned sheet floated down, alighting on the dead mans back. The townsfolk closed in as the stranger left, examining the poster. Printed in blocked letters was the name, Ruben Mauros, a price and charges of murder and robbery. The townsfolk turned at the sound of the bay galloping away. Who was that? one white man asked another. Some call him The Wolf, replied another. Others call him vigilante justice. Dust spurted up from the animals hooves as the bay carried the stranger back out into the empty desert following an unmarked trail, while back in the village the two boys chased each other through the buildings shooting each other with imaginary guns.

Spor kman Sporkman

by Dan Hansen