Back to the FYSOP (FYSOP24 Skit) by Tr Pina

Tr Pina Final Draft 6/19/2013 Tpina@bu.edu

SETTING
Boston, wherever service is needed.

TIME
Late August 2039 and Late August 2013.

ACT I
Scene 1 Scene 2 Scene 3 Scene 4 Scene 5 Scene 6 Scene 7 Scene 8 Scene 9 Rosies Ofce MetCalf Ballroom MetCalf Ballroom Warren Towers Lobby Warren Towers - 10B Metcalf Ballroom BU Beach Agganis Arena Courtroom Night before FYSOP in 2039 Opening Ceremonies in 2039 First Day of FYSOP in 2013 First Day of FYSOP in 2013 First Day of FYSOP in 2013 Opening Ceremonies in 2013 Last Day of FYSOP in 2013 Closing Ceremonies in 2013 First Night of FYSOP in 2039

CHARACTERS
ALEX BARBER ALYSSA LANGER AMANDA DOWD ASHLEY WORTHINGTON BEN SUEHLER COLLEEN CATY DANNY TRAUB DEANA GORDON EMILY LAWSON EMMA MAIDER ETHAN RIMDZIUS IZZI FATHY JASON FEINMAN JONATHAN CANDELARIA KELSEY KROOK KIRSTEN KUHN LAURA KAKALECZ MADDY LEE MORGAN WHALEY REBECCA BIRKHOLZ ROSIE BAUDER SAM STRAITZ TR PINA A FYCO from 2039, who comes to 2013 for help in saving FYSOP. A First-Year from 2039. A First-Year from 2039. / Time-Travel Judge #1 A FYStaff from 2039, who is willing to do anything to save FYSOP. A First-Year from 2039. / Time-Travel Judge #2 A First-Year in 2013, who is really excited for FYSOP. She aids the 2039 crew in their mission. A First-Year in 2013, who is pretty apathetic to service. A FYStaff from 2039. Mom from 2013. / Time-Travel Police #1. A FYCO from 2039, who comes to 2013 for help in saving FYSOP. Dad from 2013. / The Assistant Director of the CSC in 2013. Mom from 2013. / Time-Travel Police #2 A First-Year in 2013, who is really excited for FYSOP. The Assistant Director of the CSC in 2039, and ROSIE's unky. The Director of the CSC in 2013. A FYCO from 2013. A FYStaff from 2013. A First-Year in 2013. Young ROSIE's unky. A bit of an airhead, but still loveable. Mom from 2013. / Time-Travel Police #3 A FYStaff from 2013. As the new Director of the CSC in 2039, she has decided to end FYSOP. / A First-Year in 2013, who doesn't believe the hype. Mom from 2013. / Time-Travel Police #4 A FYCO from 2013.

1.

COSTUMES
ALEX BARBER ALYSSA LANGER AMANDA DOWD ASHLEY WORTHINGTON BEN SUEHLER COLLEEN CATY DANNY TRAUB DEANA GORDON EMILY LAWSON EMMA MAIDER ETHAN RIMDZIUS IZZI FATHY JASON FEINMAN JONATHAN CANDELARIA KELSEY KROOK KIRSTEN KUHN LAURA KAKALECZ MADDY LEE MORGAN WHALEY REBECCA BIRKHOLZ ROSIE BAUDER SAM STRAITZ TR PINA Futuristic clothing: A mismatch of neon and metallic. Later, jeans and a t-shirt. Futuristic clothing: A mismatch of neon and metallic. Futuristic clothing: A mismatch of neon and metallic. / Black robe. Futuristic clothing: A mismatch of neon and metallic. Later, a a skirt and sweater combo la Velma from Scooby-Doo. Wears glasses. Futuristic clothing: A mismatch of neon and metallic. / Black robe. Flowery sundress. Jeans and a t-shirt. Futuristic clothing: A mismatch of neon and metallic. Later, jeans and a t-shirt. Anything your mom would wear. / All black, with sunglasses. Futuristic clothing: A mismatch of neon and metallic. Later, jeans and a t-shirt. Anything your dad would wear. / Professional dress. Anything your mom would wear. / All black, with sunglasses. Jeans and a t-shirt. Suit and tie with a future twist. Think Caesar Flickerman from Hunger Games. Professional dress. Jeans and a FYSOP24 coordinator t-shirt. Jeans and a FYSOP24 staff t-shirt. Long t-shirt and bleggings. Anything your mom would wear. / All black, with sunglasses Jeans and a FYSOP24 staff t-shirt. Pencil skirt and blouse. / Long t-shirt and bleggings. Anything your mom would wear. / All black, with sunglasses. Jeans and a FYSOP24 coordinator t-shirt.

2.

PROP/MEDIA LIST ACT I

Scene One Props: Desk, ofce phone, swivel chair, wooden chair, nail le, pen. Media: CSC logo projection Props: Podium, FYSOP: A History, iPhone Media: FYSOP50 logo projection, Bleggings Comercial, Back to the Future

Scene Two: Theme Scene Three:

Props: FYSOP: A History Media: FYSOP24 logo projection Props: FYSOP: A History, cardboard boxes, yellow cart Media: Warren Towers projection Props: Two desks, two chairs, a guitar, iPhone. Media: Warren Towers projection Props: Podium, colored ags, shopping bags Media: FYSOP24 logo projection, Beauty and a Beat by Justin Bieber Props: Two beach chairs, beach toys, reective board for tanning Media: Waves crashing audio Props: Podium, colored ags, FYSOP: A History, iPhone Media: Agganis Arena projection, I Dont Care (Radio Edit) by Icona Pop Props: Desk, ve wooden chairs, a gavel, four pairs of handcuffs Media: Bulletproof/Release Me by La Roux vs Agnes

Scene Four:

Scene Five

Scene Six

Scene Seven

Scene Eight

Scene Nine

3.

ACT I SCENE 1 (The Director of the Community Service Center's office in 2039. The CSC logo is projected on the wall behind the stage. There is a single desk with an office phone on it, a wooden chair in front of it, and a swirly chair behind it. Behind the desk sits ROSIE, the new Director tapping her pen impatiently.) ROSIE (Presses intercom button on her desk phone, and speaks into it with her sweetest voice.) Oh, Mr. Candelaris...could you come to my office? (Silence. She presses the button again, slightly annoyed.) Mr. Candelaris...we have much to talk about. (Suddenly yelling angrily.) CANDELARIS! (Jonathan comes running into her office, out of breath.) JONATHAN I'm...sorry...Rosie...I was justROSIE (She cuts him off.) It is Ms. Bauder. We've talked about this. People have become far too familiar within the Community Service Center. JONATHAN It's actually pronounced Candelaria, Ros-I mean, Ms. Bauder. ROSIE Yes, of course it is. Please, sit down, Mr. Candelabra. (Jonathan raises a finger and opens his

4.

mouth to correct her pronunciation, but decides against it. He sits down in the chair in front of her desk. Rosie begins filing her nails.) ROSIE As I was saying, we have much to talk about. I plan to make many changes to the Community Service Center now that I am the Director, and you, as my Assistant Director, will be enacting these changes. First order of business, we need to expand. The fourth floor is simply not big enough. JONATHAN Where do you suggest we expand to, Ms. Bauder? ROSIE I want the ENTIRE George Sherman Union to be mine...I mean, ours. JONATHAN (JONATHAN begins to count the resources on his fingers as he goes through them. ROSIE appears utterly disinterested.) But Ms. Bauder, the George Sherman Union has so many important resources in it! The Dean of Students' Office is on the third floor! And the Activities Information Mavens is on the second floor, next to Metcalf Ballroom where BU holds various events! And on the first floor is the Union Court, which is the Greenest Food Court in the country and where so many students go to study and socialize. And in the basement has the Orientation Office, the Terrier Card Office, BU Central, the Howard Thurman Center, and the Center for Gender, Sexuality, and Activism! ROSIE I did not ask your opinion, Calabria. (Pause. She looks at him incredulously.) And is there a reason you're not writing this down? JONATHAN Oh, yes, ma'am. I'm sorry. (ROSIE tosses him the pen, which he does not catch. He frantically looks

5.

for something to write on, and settles for his arm.) Take...over...George...Sherman...Union...okay, is there anything else? ROSIE I also plan to change the main focus of our work. We will will no longer primarily deal with service. It is far too cost-ineffective. We are going to start manufacturing my line of designer leggings. JONATHAN (He continues to write on his arm.) Do...less...service...Is that all? ROSIE Oh, and one more thing. We are eliminating the FirstYear Student Outreach Project. JONATHAN But, Ms. Bauder, everyone loves FYSOP! The Program Managers have been working on FYSOP50 since last Winter! All twenty-two of the Coordinators are so invested in their issue areas! And the Program Assistants have been organizing the office, socking supplies, and maintaining the website all summer! And the Staff have trained all last week to be ready! And all the First-Years are so excited to move in and do service tomorrow! ROSIE (She laughs, and creepily smiles.) Mr. Cambrian, I'm going to let you in on a secret, because I like you: none of these students are going to change the world. You can't fix the world if the world does not want to be fixed. A couple hundred kids are not going to make a difference. (He opens his mouth to speak, and she raises her hand to cut him off.) That will be all, Mr. Cambrian. (He gets out of his seat, defeated, and leaves the room. ROSIE cackles. Blackout.)

6.

ACT I SCENE 2 (Metcalf Ballroom in 2039. ROSIE stands behind a podium, with JONATHAN, EMMA and ALEX standing stage left behind her. A futuristic "FYSOP50" logo is projected in the background. ASHLEY, BEN, AMANDA, and DEANA are seated in front of the stage, which is raised slightly from the actual audience. This will serve as the audience within the show. ROSIE clears her throat, and taps the microphone.)

ROSIE Welcome, everyone, to Boston University. I am Ms. Bauder, and I am the Director of the Community Service Center. Before our FYSOP Coordinators, Emma and Alex speak, we have an announcement. (Motions JONATHAN to the podium.) JONATHAN Hello, I am the Assistant Director of the Community Service Center, Jonathan Candelaria. This is the part where I would normally say how proud I am o`f all of you for coming to school a week early to do service, but, unfortunately, there will be no FYSOP this year. (EMMA and ALEX look at each other shocked. ASHLEY stands up in the crowd. Everyone else stands as they speak.) ASHLEY WHAT?! DEANA You can't cancel FYSOP! ALYSSA What about the all the information we were going to learn about our issue areas on Education Day?

7.

AMANDA And what about all the important service we were going to do this week? BEN Can I go back home with my mom then? ROSIE Sit down! All of you! (ASHLEY, DEANA, AMANDA, and BEN hesitantly sit.) FYSOP, as a whole, has been found to have little actual impact on the City of Boston. ASHLEY That's not true! ROSIE Silence! You're just 900 college students! What can you do to make a difference? JONATHAN (Trying to calm the crowd.) Now, I know this may be shocking to a few of you, but the Community Service Center is taking a new direction. (Signaling to the booth.) Starting this Fall, we will begin selling Bauder's Bleggings. Ms. Bauder's very own line of bejeweled leggings. To get everyone excited, we have a sneak preview. (An overly dramatic television advertisement for bejeweled leggings appears: Music expected from a commercial taking itself much too seriously plays sensually. Camera starts at ROSIE's foot, and follows her "blegging"-clad leg to her hips. Pan across her eyes. Repeat shots of her legs from different angles. Close up on her lips. She speaks the word: "Bleggings." Ad ends.) ROSIE (Claps.) Marvelous! Simply fabulous! Thank you, Mr. Candelaria!

8.

DEANA But what about the SERVICE part of the Community Service Center? ROSIE (Curtly.) We will be taking no further questions. This completes our gathering, and I hope you all have a great final week of Summer. (ROSIE struts off stage, with JONATHAN beginning to follow behind her. EMMA and ALEX cut him off.) ALEX (To JONATHAN, also pronouncing it incorrectly, as everyone will do throughout the show.) Mr. Cochella, wait! JONATHAN It's Candelaria. ALEX Yeah, of course. What are we supposed to do with all of these First-Years? JONATHAN Well, you know what they say: if something doesn't go the way you planned, you should probably just give up. ROSIE (From offstage.) CAMBODIA! JONATHAN That's me. Have a good last week of Summer! (JONATHAN exits.) EMMA What does she have against FYSOP anyway? We can't let them get away with this. What are we going to do? ALEX I have no idea. Wait, let's get the FYStaff up here, and we'll think of a plan. (He walks over to the podium.)

9.

Could the FYStaff please report to stage? (DEANA and ASHLEY come to the stage.) (To Emma.) We only hired two FYStaff? EMMA It was really competitive this year. ALEX Ashley, Deana, we have a slight problem, but we'reASHLEY (Frantically.) THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! THEY CAN'T TAKE FYSOP AWAY! I WON'T LET THEM! ALEX ...not going to panic. EMMA Right. We're all going to CALM DOWN and think of an idea. DEANA We could just let all the First-Years go back to Warren Towers for the week? ALEX No, FYSOP50 will happen...You know what they say: service finds a way. DEANA I don't think they say that... ALEX Back to the point, we need to figure out how to get FYSOP50 back on track. ASHLEY (Jumping enthusiastically with her hand raised.) Oh! I know! I know! We can get a Mind Control Machine and make Ms. Bauder bring back FYSOP! EMMA What Sci-Fi movie are you living in? It's 2039!

10.

There's no such thing as Mind Control Technology. Think of something logical! (Pause) I got it! We can use my time machine to go travel to a FYSOP when they made an impact on Boston to prove it! ALEX Wait, Emma, you have a time machine?! EMMA Obviously. It's 2039. It's not the Stone Age. ALEX This is perfect! Where is it? EMMA In my pocket. (She dramatically takes out an iPhone. The "Back to the Future" Overture starts to play.) ALEX It's so small. ASHLEY Wait, isn't that just an iPhone25? EMMA What? Were you expecting a DeLorean? All I have to do is type in the year we want to go to. DEANA Well, which FYSOP are we going to go to? ASHLEY (Suddenly serious, with a professional disposition. She pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose, and pulls out a book named FYSOP: A History from seemingly nowhere. She opens to a random page. She hmms several times.) After careful examination of FYSOP: A History, I would have to say, FYSOP24 was a more than exceptional FYSOP. DEANA Where did you get that? And does anyone else hear that

11.

music playing? ASHLEY As the historian of the First-Year Student Outreach Project Appreciation Association, I must have it on hand at all times. ALEX I didn't know we had an appreciation club. ASHLEY It's an ASSOCIATION. ALEX What's the difference? DEANA What do you even do in that? EMMA Guys, we don't have time for this. What year was FYSOP24? ASHLEY 2013. EMMA (She types 2013 into the phone.) We're all set to go. ALEX Wait, are we sure we should do this? Isn't there a time-space continuum thing that people always mess up in movies? EMMA This isn't a movie, Alex. It's a skit. We're fine. (They all look at the audience and shrug. JONATHAN slowly enters, and begins eavesdropping on the conversation.) We'll go back in time, save FYSOP and stick it to Rosie! Now, just put your fingers on the screen. DEANA I was NOT prepared for this in Staff Training.

12.

EMMA Here we go! JONATHAN NOOOOO! (Lights flash, and the music crescendos. ALEX, EMMA, ASHLEY, and DEANA exit, wiggling their arms. Lights return to normal.) JONATHAN Ms. Bauder! Ms. Bauder! ROSIE What is it, Chandelier? JONATHAN The students! They've- they've! ROSIE They've what? Spit it out! JONATHAN They've gone back! THEY'VE GONE BACK TO THE FYSOP. ROSIE WHAT?! WHICH FYSOP DID THEY GO TO? (ROSIE grabs JONATHAN by the collar.) JONATHAN FYSOP24! It was in 2013... (ROSIE lets go of JONATHAN. JONATHAN falls to his knees.) ROSIE Oh, I know when it was. JONATHAN Ms. Bauder...? ROSIE I'll put an end to this. Let's go, Chandlier! (ROSIE exits. JONATHAN crawls after her. Blackout.)

13.

ACT I SCENE 3 (Metcalf Ballroom in 2013. The stage is almost exactly the same as the previous scene, though the logo for FYSOP24 is now displayed.) ALEX Did it work? KIRSTEN Hey there! Are you guys FYSOPers? ALEX Actually, we're from the year 2039 and we're here to save FYSOP from the evil new Director of the Community Service Center who plans to stop all the service and manufacture bejeweled leggings. (EMMA elbows him.) I mean, yes, we are FYSOPers. KIRSTEN (Skeptically.) Okay...well, you all should go get checked in at Warren Towers, and then head down to Nickerson Field to meet your FYStaff. Opening Ceremonies doesn't start for another three hours. EMMA Will do! Thanks so much! (KIRSTEN walks away.) DEANA Who was that? ASHLEY (Opens FYSOP: A History and reads from it.) That was Kirsten Kuhn, one of the Elders FYCOs for FYSOP24. Did you know that a recent world wide survey found that, so long as they are in fairly good health, 70 year olds throughout the world are on average as happy and mentally healthy as 20 year olds?

14.

ALEX No, I didn't. DEANA What else does that book have in it? ASHLEY Everything! Anything you could ever need to know about FYSOP is in this book. ALEX That'll come in handy. DEANA Okay, so we're in the past. What do we do know? How do we prove that FYSOP actually made a difference? EMMA I didn't really think about that part... ASHLEY Well, what's a better way to see the difference than actually do the service? DEANA So, we go undercover as FYSOPers... EMMA And we collect evidence on everything this FYSOP has done... ALEX And Ms. Bauder will have no choice but to bring it back! This is perfect! EMMA C'mon! (They exit. Blackout.)

15.

ACT I SCENE 4 (Warren Towers lobby. Warren Towers sign is projected on the back. There is a yellow cart filled with cardboard boxes upstage.) ALEX Wow, look at Warren back before they added the hovercar lane! DEANA Shh! Don't talk about future stuff! It'll draw attention to us! (TR enters, and walks by ALEX, EMMA, DEANA, and ASHLEY.) TR Hey! Do you guys need any help? EMMA No, thanks. We're just waiting for our parents to bring our stuff to the curb. TR Okay! If you do need any help, just ask anyone with a name-tag! (TR exits.) ASHLEY According to FYSOP: A History that was Tr Pina. He's one of the Gender Focus FYCOs...it also says he wrote FYSOP24's skit. It was great, and everyone laughed multiple times. (ALEX, EMMA, ASHLEY, and DEANA look at the audience and shrug. ASHLEY closes the book. DANNY and MORGAN enter stage left, carrying boxes.) DANNY Hey, Zenon, can you get out of the way? I'm trying to move-in early here.

16.

MORGAN Danny, don't be so rude! How are you ever going to make any friends? DANNY Mom! You're being so freaking annoying! (DANNY stomps off stage. MORGAN exits behind him.) DEANA Zenon? What does that mean? ASHLEY I think he was referring to our clothes...we are kind of conspicuous. (COLLEEN, ETHAN, and SAM enter stage left, also carrying boxes) EMMA But we didn't bring any extra clothes... SAM Oh, honey, did you hear that? Those kids over there forgot to bring extra clothes. Maybe you could offer them something to wear this week? ETHAN That's a great idea! COLLEEN You think so? Dad, can you take this to my room? ETHAN Sure thing, honey. (SAM and ETHAN exit. COLLEEN walks over to ALEX, EMMA, ASHLEY, and DEANA. COLLEEN puts down her box.) COLLEEN (Very eagerly.) Hey! I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I heard that you all didn't have any extra clothes. I pretty much packed my entire closet, and some of my sisters, so you can borrow anything you need! (To Alex.)

17.

You might be able to borrow something from one of the guys on my floor! I'm Colleen by the way. I love your costumes! Were you roleplaying the Zenon convention at Hynes? Zedis Lapedis! I loved that movie! I'm kinda a DCOM fanatic. (Singing poorly.) Let's watch a Disney Channel Movie! Yeah! ALEX (Confused.) Yeah...Zedis Lapedis... COLLEEN (Suddenly self-conscious.) Oh, wow, that was embarrassing. I'm sorry, I'm just going to go now. (COLLEEN begins to leave.) ASHLEY What was with her? Can you say nerd? Am I right? (Laughs and elbows DEANA. DEANA cringes.) Sorry. EMMA Wait, guys, we need her. We can't do anything if we don't blend in. ALEX Emma's right. EMMA Colleen, don't go! COLLEEN (Turns around. Her eyes are wide, and puppy-like.) Really? EMMA Yeah. We'd really appreciate the help. (Pause) Right, guys? (ALEX, DEANA and ASHLEY begin to talk over each other. The final part of ALEX's line should be heard by itself

18.

at the end.) DEANA Yeah, definitely. We really need you. ASHLEY Oh, for sure. I'm sorry I said you were a nerd. ALEX Definitely! Just like you said, Zedis Lapedis! COLLEEN (Excited again.) Great! We can go to my room now! I live on the tenth floor of B-tower! EMMA Perfect! So do we! ALEX We do? (EMMA elbows ALEX.) I mean, we do. (A young, blegging-clad ROSIE enters carrying a box, followed by MADDY and IZZI. They talk silently upstage, and do not notice anyone else. Emma notices her and pulls ALEX, ASHLEY, and DEANA to the ground.) DEANA What's wrong? EMMA Doesn't that girl look just like Ms. Bauder? (COLLEEN kneels down next to them.) COLLEEN What are you guys doing? Is this part of your Zenon roleplaying? EMMA Uh, yeah...can we go to your room now? COLLEEN Sure! Let's go!

19.

(COLLEEN, ALEX, EMMA, ASHLEY, and DEANA exit. REBECCA and LAURA enter, and walk over to ROSIE, MADDY, and IZZI.) LAURA Hey! Can we help you at all? IZZI Oh, are you two professors? (LAURA and REBECCA laugh.) ROSIE Mom, don't be an idiot. Of course they're not. IZZI Rosie! REBECCA We're actually staff! My name is Rebecca. LAURA And my name is Laura. (IZZI shakes REBECCA and LAURA's hands, but ROSIE remains indifferent.) REBECCA We can show you to your room, if you want. IZZI That would be wonderful. Thank you. (REBECCA and LAURA take the boxes from ROSIE and IZZI and walk offstage. IZZI follows them. DANNY enters stage right, and looks at ROSIE.) ROSIE Can I help you? DANNY (Sarcastically.) ...nice leggings. ROSIE They're bleggings! Bejeweled leggings!

20.

DANNY Yeah, I get that. I just don't get why you're wearing them. (ROSIE gasps, offended.) MADDY Hey! You! DANNY Yeah? MADDY (Trying hard to think of a comeback.) Get out of here! DANNY Whatever. (DANNY exits.) ROSIE One day people will see the way of bleggings! MADDY You're such a trend-setter, Rosie. ROSIE Ugh. FYSOP is so stupid already. I don't see what the big deal is. I bet we're not going to do anything important. MADDY Yeah. It's, like, totes stupid. ROSIE And I can't believe I got put in Children! I hate children. I hear it's the least popular issue area. MADDY Did you know the average four-year-old asks 437 questions a day? ROSIE Did you know that I don't care? ...I can't believe all my cool, upperclassmen friends convinced me to do this.

21.

ROSIE You know what I just thought of? MADDY Oh! I know! RYAN GOSLING?! Wait...no? I give up. What? ROSIE Let's skip out on FYSOP, and go shopping. It's not like they'll miss us. What are 900 students going to do to make a difference? MADDY SHOPPING! I, like, love shopping! ROSIE (Slightly annoyed.) Yes. Of course you do. (Blackout.)

22.

ACT I SCENE 5 (Warren Towers dorm room in 2013. ALEX, EMMA, ASHLEY, and DEANA are in modern day dress. COLLEEN sits in a chair at her desk. There is an identical desk with a chair opposite her. Everyone is clearly uncomfortable.) COLLEEN So, how do you all know each other? (Following four lines are said at once.) ALEX High school. EMMA We're best friends. DEANA We're cousins. ASHLEY We went to summer camp together. COLLEEN (Unsure.) So, you're cousins who are best friends and went to high school and summer camp together? ALEX, EMMA, DEANA, AND ASHLEY Yup. COLLEEN (Genuinely.) That's so cool! What issue areas are you in? ALEX Hunger. EMMA Disabilities.

23.

ASHLEY I'm Public Health Awareness. DEANA I'm in Animals. COLLEEN Awesome! I'm in Public Health Awareness! I can't wait to start doing service! (JASON enters, and knocks on the open "door frame." He has his guitar in one hand.) Come in! JASON Hey! You guys doing FYSOP? COLLEEN Yeah! I'm Colleen, and this is my crib! (Laughs.) Get it? Like...M...T...V...I'm sorry. JASON Nah, it's cool. I'm Jason. COLLEEN This is Alex, Emma, Deana, and Ashley. They're cousins who are best friends and went to high school and summer camp together! JASON Oh, that's awesome. Nice to meet you all. Are any of you Homelessness and Housing? ALEX Nope, but did you know that over the past twelve months, over 7,000 Massachusetts families were assisted with emergency shelter and provided food and other amenities? (EVERYONE is impressed. DANNY enters.) DANNY Hey-o! I'm Danny. I live down the hall in the corner double. Soon to be known as the Love Shack. (Winks at DEANA.)

24.

ALEX (Beat.) Hey, do you guys mind if I talk to my cousins for a second? COLLEEN Oh, no. Go ahead. (To Jason.) So, you play the guitar? JASON Yeah, I figured I bring it to jam with some people. DANNY Ah, dude, I love the guitar. (JASON sits down in the empty chair, and starts lightly strumming his guitar. ALEX, EMMA, ASHLEY, and DEANA walk to the "hallway.") ALEX Okay, so we have disguises. Now what? EMMA We do service and prove Rosie wrong! DEANA We're going to stay here for a week? ASHLEY I don't know if it's a good idea to stay in the past for that long. EMMA Guys, we have all the time in the world. We have a time machine, remember? (She takes out her iPhone and shakes it.) What's the worst that could happen? (With mock-horror.) Are the Time-Travel Police going to bust us? DEANA I guess you're right. (JASON puts down the guitar and walks

25.

out into the "hallway." COLLEEN and DANNY follow him.) JASON What are you guys talking about? ALEX, EMMA, DEANA, AND ASHLEY Nothing! JASON Oh, is that an iPhone 5? Can I see? ALEX, EMMA, DEANA, AND ASHLEY NO! JASON Uh, okay... ASHLEY Isn't it almost time for Opening Ceremonies? COLLEEN (Looking at her phone for the time.) Yeah, we should get going! (EVERYONE exits. Blackout.)

26.

ACT I SCENE 6 (Metcalf Ballroom in 2013. KELSEY and ETHAN stand behind a podium, with KIRSTEN and TR standing stage left behind them. JASON, COLLEEN, and DANNY are seated in the crowd. "Beauty and a Beat" by Justin Beiber plays, and everyone is dancing. REBECCA and LAURA dance on stage as well, waving flags. The music fades out. REBECCA and LAURA sit back down in the crowd.) KELSEY Good evening everyone! I am Kelsey Krook, the Director of the Community Service Center, and I would like to welcome you to FYSOP24! ETHAN And I'm Ethan Rimdzius, the Assistant Director of the Community Service Center. We're going to have an amazing Opening Ceremonies for you tonight! Now we're going to turn it over to two of our FYCOs, Kirsten and Tr. KIRSTEN How's everyone doing tonight? (REBECCA, LAURA, ALEX, EMMA, ASHLEY, DEANA, JASON, and COLLEEN cheer.) I said, how's everyone doing tonight? (REBECCA, LAURA, ALEX, EMMA, ASHLEY, DEANA, JASON, and COLLEEN cheer louder.) TR That's better. We're here to introduce this year's skit, Back to the FYSOP. ALEX Hey, Emma. Can we skip over the skit? EMMA Yeah, that's a bit too meta.

27.

(She takes out her iPhone, and presses a few buttons. Lights flash. REBECCA, LAURA, ALEX, EMMA, ASHLEY, DEANA, JASON, and COLLEEN clap.) TR Thanks for watching everyone! KIRSTEN Now, we're going to have some ice breakers with your groups! FYStaff, can you stand up, so the First-Years know where to go? (LAURA and REBECCA stand up. TR and KIRSTEN exit. ALEX, EMMA, ASHLEY, DEANA, JASON, DANNY, and COLLEEN stand up and form a semi-circle.) REBECCA Okay, let's go around, and say our names! I'm Rebecca! LAURA Hi, I'm Laura! ALEX Alex. EMMA Emma. ASHLEY Ashley. DEANA Deana. JASON Jason. DANNY Danny. COLLEEN Colleen! LAURA Great! Now were going to start a game called Name-Bop!

28.

(YOUNG ROSIE and MADDY enter, with shopping bags in hand. ALEX, EMMA, DEANA, and ASHLEY try to avoid ROSIE.) DANNY Look! It's bleggings girl! (He laughs.) REBECCA (REBECCA turns around.) Oh, hello! Did you two just arrive? ROSIE (Hiding her bags behind her back.) Oh, yeah. Our flights were delayed. MADDY No they weren't, Rosie. We were, like, shopping and stuff. (ROSIE steps on her foot.) Ouch! LAURA Well, come join the circle! (ROSIE throws her bags offstage. MADDY does the same.) REBECCA We were just saying our names. MADDY I'm, like, Maddy. ROSIE (Disinterestedly.) And I'm Rosie. (TR enters.) TR Hey, Laura, Rebecca, can you come here for a sec? (TR, LAURA, and REBECCA exit.) COLLEEN Hey! It's Rosie, right? Where are you from?

29.

ROSIE Nowhere you've heard of. MADDY Good one, Rosie! JASON Hey, you don't have to be so mean! ROSIE (Suddenly noticing ALEX, EMMA, ASHLEY, and DEANA.) Who are they and why are they cowering over there? COLLEEN Who? ROSIE Them. Right there. ALEX (Looking up.) You mean you don't recognize us? ROSIE Am I supposed to? EMMA (Whispering to ALEX, DEANA, and ASHLEY.) Wait, of course she doesn't recognize us! We're not going to be born almost another ten years. DEANA Right! COLLEEN Oh! They're Alex, Emma, Deana, and Ashley! They're cousins who are best friends and went to high school and summer camp together! ROSIE (Very skeptically.) Oh, really? ALEX, EMMA, DEANA, AND ASHLEY Yup.

30.

COLLEEN (Unknowingly cutting ROSIE off, who was about to interrogate ALEX.) What issue area are you in? Aren't you so excited to start service tomorrow? I heard it's life changing! ROSIE I'm in Children, no, and I seriously doubt it. Tomorrow, I plan to spend my day on the BU Beach behind Marsh Chapel. I don't believe the thing about the cars on Storrow Drive sounding like the ocean, though. COLLEEN (Shocked.) You're not going on-site? ROSIE Nope. MADDY No way! JASON But what about all the bonding you'll miss out on, too? I hear service is a great way to make lasting friendships. ROSIE I don't need any more friends. In fact, I think I'm going to go back to Warren now. Let's go, Maddy. (ROSIE and MADDY exit. REBECCA and LAURA enter.) REBECCA I'm sorry you guys. Our meeting is going to take a little longer than we expected, you all can go back to your dorms for the night. LAURA See you tomorrow for the first day of service! (REBECCA and LAURA exit.) DANNY Last one back to Warren is a rotten egg!

31.

(DANNY runs out.) COLLEEN We should probably get some sleep. ALEX You're right. C'mon gang! EMMA Don't call us that. This isn't Scooby-Doo. (Blackout.)

32.

ACT I SCENE 7 (BU Beach. Audio of waves crashing plays in the background. Beach toys and an inflatable pool are strewn across the stage. YOUNG ROSIE and MADDY are laying in beach chairs.) ROSIE What a great day of absolutely nothing. MADDY You, like, said it. ROSIE Hey. The cars actually do sound like waves. That's kind of cool...I guess. MADDY Hey Rosie, did you know that 51% of the world's population lives in urban areas? ROSIE (Uninterested.) That's great, Maddy. MADDY And did you know that last year, BU's total waste (excluding construction projects) was 9,765 tons, of which 68% was incinerated at waste-to-energy facility and 32% of total waste was diverted. ROSIE Cool. (ALEX, EMMA, DEANA, ASHLEY, COLLEEN, DANNY, and JASON enter laughing and joking.) ROSIE Excuse me! Some of us are trying to relax here! DANNY Oh, sorry, Rosie.

33.

ROSIE What happened to "Blegging-girl?" DANNY Well, on Education Day we learned that you should refer to people as they identify, not as what you think they would be referred to, and your name is Rosie, not Blegging-girl. I'm sorry. ROSIE (Initially taken aback, then sour once again.) As you should be. MADDY How was site?! (ROSIE shoots MADDY a glare. MADDY hunches over.) I mean... JASON We learned so much. ASHLEY Like did you know cardio-vascular disease is the number one cause of death around the world? EMMA Or that according to the U.S. Department of Education, workers with disabilities are rated consistently as average or above average in performance, quality and quantity of work, flexibility, and attendance? MADDY You learned all of that this week? DEANA And that's not all. We did great work, too. I got to paint an animal shelter. I was hoping that I'd get to play with some of the puppies, but then our site contact told us about how the puppies could play there again now that there was no more lead paint. ALEX Well, hunger worked at a sustainable farm that sends their produce to hundreds of people throughout Boston who are living in Food Deserts, or places where access

34.

to affordable, healthy food is extremely low. ASHLEY Add all of that service that the other 9 issue areas did, and think of the THOUSANDS of people in the community of Boston that we helped. ROSIE FYSOP really helped that many people? DANNY Yeah it did! I thought the best part of FYSOP was going to be moving-in early, but it's so much more than that. We should go get ready for Closing Ceremonies though. JASON Danny's right. Let's get going. COLLEEN See you later, Rosie. Bye Maddy! (ALEX, EMMA, DEANA, ASHLEY, DANNY, COLLEEN, and JASON exit. ROSIE sits up in her beach chair looking pensive. She sighs. Blackout.)

35.

ACT I SCENE 8 (Agganis Arena during Closing Ceremonies of FYSOP24. Agganis logo is projected in the background. "I LOVE IT" (RADIO EDIT) by ICONA POP is playing. KELSEY and ETHAN stand SR. TR and KIRSTEN are behind the podium.) TR Good evening everyone, and welcome to Closing Ceremonies! (EVERYONE cheers.) KIRSTEN This has been an amazing week! Congratulations! You've had a fantastic start to your time at Boston University... (The volume of KIRSTEN's microphone begins to lower, but she continues to talk. Lights din on the podium. ROSIE and MADDY enter, and sit in front of the others.) COLLEEN Rosie! You came! ROSIE (Smiles.) Yeah. ALEX What changed? ROSIE You guys showed me what 900 first-years can accomplish. After hearing about all of the service you guys did this afternoon, I realized how closed-minded I was being. FYSOP is amazing, and I'm definitely applying to be staff next year. I'm even join the First-Year Student Outreach Project Appreciation Club! (ROSIE turns around and listens to

36.

KIRSTEN intently.) ASHLEY (Under her breath.) IT'S AN ASSOCIATION. DEANA (To ASHLEY.) I didn't know Rosie was a member of the First-Year Student Outreach Project Appreciation Association. ASHLEY But she wasn't...I've memorized the names of every member ever. ALEX Check the book! ASHLEY (ASHLEY takes out FYSOP: A History. Her eyes widen.) Guys...the words of the book are changing. We changed the future! Now, it says Rosie became the President of the club! She was later a Staff member, a FYSOP Coordinator, a Program Assistant, and a Program Manager! ALEX That's great! That means we saved FYSOP! This was the best idea ever, Emma! (ALEX hugs EMMA.) (Lights flash. The TIME-TRAVEL POLICE [IZZI, MORGAN, EMILY and SAM] enter, wiggling their arms. Lights return to normal. TR, KIRSTEN, JASON, COLLEEN, DANNY, and YOUNG ROSIE are frozen in time.) TIME-TRAVEL POLICE Citizens of the year 2039, surrender your Time-Machine immediately! DEANA Who are they?!

37.

TIME-TRAVEL POLICE #1 This is the Time-Travel Police. DEANA Emma! I though you said we had nothing to worry about? EMMA I didn't think they were real! TIME-TRAVEL POLICE #2 You are under arrest for altering the Time-Space Continuum. TIME-TRAVEL POLICE #3 Surrender your time-travel machine immediately! ALEX Emma! I thought you said we didn't have to worry about that because this is a skit and not a movie? EMMA I thought theater was held to different Laws of Physics than film! TIME-TRAVEL POLICE #4 You will now be transported back to 2039! (Lights flash. Lights return to normal. ALEX, EMMA, ASHLEY, and DEANA have disappeared. EMMA has dropped her TimeTravel Machine. TR, KIRSTEN, JASON, COLLEEN, DANNY, MADDY and YOUNG ROSIE are no longer frozen.) COLLEEN Where did Alex, Emma, Ashley, and Deana go? JASON (Looking around.) I don't know... DANNY I'm beginning to think those guys weren't actually from around here... COLLEEN They were wearing those strange Zenon costumes on Monday...

38.

Zenon: Girl of the

21st

DANNY Century?! I LOVE that movie!

COLLEEN Wait, really? Weren't the 90s DCOMs vastly superior to the ones now? DANNY FINALLY! Someone understands me! Hey...are you...seeing anyone? COLLEEN (Flirtatiously.) Actually, no. DANNY Will you be my Supernova Girl? JASON Excuse me! Can we get back to the point? COLLEEN Right. Where do you think they went? JASON (Picks up EMMA's iPhone. The "Back to the Future" Overture starts to play.) Hey, weren't they whispering about this earlier? COLLEEN It's an iPhone. Everyone has one. DANNY Do you guys hear that music? JASON But there's a strange app on here. It says Time-Travel Machine. (He taps the screen.) There's only one button. It says "Return to 2039." What does that mean? DANNY (DANNY reaches for the iPhone.) Let me see!

39.

COLLEEN (COLLEEN reaches to stop him.) Danny, no! (Lights flash. Blackout.)

40.

ACT I SCENE 9 (Nondescript room. Two JUDGES sit behind a desk, with a gavel in front of them. OLD ROSIE and JONATHAN sit SR. ALEX, EMMA, ASHLEY, and DEANA stand shoulderto-shoulder, handcuffed.) Alex Barber, Emma Deana Gordon, you without a license Continuum. How do JUDGE #1 Maider, Ashley Worthington, and have been charged with Time-Travel and altering of the Time-Space you plead?

ASHLEY GUILTY! WE DID IT! IT'S ALL TRUE! OH GOD, I'M SORRY. ALEX, EMMA, AND DEANA ASHLEY! ASHLEY I'm sorry, guys. They cracked me. JUDGE #2 Let the record show that the defendants plead guilty. DEANA Wait! We don't even have lawyers! This goes against our Human Rights! Last year alone, 80 countries conducted unfair trails JUDGE #1 We will now proceed. Prosecution? ROSIE (Smiles, and stands. She walks over to the bench.) Thank you, your honors. ALEX Wait, if we changed the future...well, the present. Why does Rosie still want our heads? EMMA I don't know.

41.

ROSIE Before I begin, I would also like to thank our wonderful Time-Travel Police force for bringing these criminals to justice. (THE TIME-TRAVEL POLICE nod at ROSIE.) Now, I think we all know how this should and will end. These four students went back in time with the malicious intent of influencing a younger, less street-smart version of myself in order to later take over the Community Service Center. EMMA That's not true! JUDGE #2 The Defendants will remain silent throughout the Prosecutions briefing. ROSIE Thank you. These four are loose cannons with no regard for anyone but themselves. They have almost destroyed the universe in their selfish pursuits. Now, does this sound like people who should be set free? JONATHAN (Raising his hand.) Can I just say something? ROSIE Not now, Charzard. I suggest life in space prison. (EVERYONE gasps. Lights flash. COLLEEN, DANNY, and JASON appear.) What's going on? COLLEEN Alex! Emma! JASON Deana! DANNY Ashley! (They all hug.) TIME-TRAVEL POLICE #1 NO TOUCHING!

42.

ROSIE Who are these people? COLLEEN We're from the year 2013. DANNY (Looking around, amazed.) It is just like Zenon. COLLEEN Not now, Danny! JUDGE #1 What is the meaning of this? JUDGE #2 Time-Travel Police, arrest them! (THE TIME-TRAVEL POLICE grab COLLEEN, DANNY, and JASON.) Take them away! JASON Wait, Rosie! You mean you don't recognize us? ROSIE Am I supposed to? COLLEEN It's Colleen, Jason, and Danny. We were all FYSOPers together! During FYSOP24! ROSIE Doesn't ring any bells. JASON Why doesn't she remember us? (Lights flash.) DANNY What was that? ASHLEY I think it was the past catching up with us. ROSIE Jason? Colleen? Danny?

43.

COLLEEN Yes! It's us! ROSIE Let them go officers! (The TIME-TRAVEL POLICE release JASON, COLLEEN and DANNY. ROSIE hugs them.) ALEX What about us? ROSIE Yes, release them too! (The TIME-TRAVEL POLICE unlock ALEX, EMMA, DEANA, and ASHLEY's handcuffs. TIME-TRAVEL POLICE exit.) Your honors, this has all been a mistake. These students are innocent. JUDGE #1 Seems legit. (JUDGE#1 and JUDGE#2 exit.) ROSIE I'm so sorry for canceling FYSOP. I promise to never forget that service can make a difference in the world, no matter the scale. EMMA But what about the CSC? ROSIE It will continue doing service. ALEX And the bleggings? ROSIE (Laughs.) They will continue be my hobby, and nothing more. EMMA And FYSOP? ROSIE The First-Year Student Outreach Project is back on! You four better get going, you have a lot to do to get

44.

this week back on track! (ALEX, EMMA, DEANA, and ASHLEY rejoin COLLEEN, DANNY, and JASON.) COLLEEN They're sending us back to 2013 now. EMMA Thanks for everything. You saved us so many times. COLLEEN It's what friends are for. (They all hug and say goodbye. COLLEEN, DANNY, and JASON huddle around an iPhone.) ALEX Hey, Colleen? COLLEEN Yeah? ALEX Zedis Lapedis. COLLEEN Zedis Lapedis. (Lights flash. COLLEEN, DANNY, and JASON disappear.) EMMA Let's get going! We have a lot to do! (ALEX, EMMA, DEANA, and ASHLEY exit.) ROSIE I'm so sorry about the way I've treated you over the years. I guess I've just always been insecure about-(JONATHAN pulls ROSIE towards him, and dips her romantically. She is surprised, but pleased.) Oh, Jonathan! JONATHAN Oh, one thing more thing, Ms. Bauder?

45.

ROSIE Please, Jonathan. Call me Rosie. JONATHAN Rosie? ROSIE Yes? JONATHAN It's CANDELARIA. (Blackout. Lights back up. "Bulletproof/Release Me" Mashup starts, and the most amazing "End of Show" Dance ever begins. Blackout.)