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Am A Millionaire By her granddaughter, Kerry Granny was fond of saying, "I am so lucky, I am a millionaire", and she would go on to explain that while she didn't have a lot of money, she felt so rich to have so much family and so many good things in her life. She has indeed lived a rich life, and I have often looked to her in order to reflect as to whether the life I am creating for my family and myself will grow to be as rich as hers. I'd like to share a few reflections on what helped her to live such a beautiful, full life. Above all else, Granny (or Betty, Liz, Mom), valued family. She had family at the center of her life, and I feel privileged to have had the chance to listen to some of her stories. Growing up, they did a lot together, and to that end, I suppose we owe her mother, Alessandra Kulczynska, an immigrant of Poland and her father, Anthony Bakevich, from Lithuania, for instilling those values. She told me how her father would have them all go picking blueberries as a family, it would be an all day affair, and she laughed that he had this method of shaking the blueberry bushes to have the berries fall down onto a cloth, but then cleaning them would be difficult, and at the end of a long day, they'd go back to the house, put the berries in the bathtub and separate the leaves from the berries. She said that one year her mother canned 20 quarts of berries- that's a lot of berries! Her mother was also famous for making pies, and you could almost see how good they tasted when she spoke of them. Granny/Liz/Mom- also told me how Aunt Leanie and her brother George, one time spent a whole afternoon collecting black walnuts and then managed to open their hard shells to pick out a cupful of nutmeat (which takes a really long time) and asked Granny to bake a cake with them, since she was considered the best baker in the family at the time. She said growing up they didn't have much, (I'm not sure if everyone knows, but as kids they all shared one room, and Liz and Leanie shared one bed, Alice and Sophie another, and George had a small cot at the far side of the room) but, she said, they were happy. She told me how once she was married and George, Ronald and David were little, the sister's would take the buses to see one another and it could take up to two hours at times. But still they did it-and it seemed those cousins all had a great time! Going to the beach, Svea Lake, holidays rotating at different homes- family was at the center. I could go on and on about different parties, gatherings, and special memories- I'm sure each person in this room has one that sticks out, and we have been fortunate to be imprinted with this value. We know it's important. As you may be reflecting, it is around the table that many of the memories have been created, and entertaining and hosting is something Granny enjoyed and did so well. She had an active social life. I remember her telling me that it isn't about the size of your home, but wanting to have people over. And it would bring to mind parties, where people would be crammed in

every room and spilling out onto the porch, enjoying one another's company. Although I may have childhood memories as a lens, for some reason to me, Granny seemed to host with grace and calm. I see myself as receiving that torch from her, and I hope to host parties with as much welcome and warmth as she. (As a side note, she was pretty fussy about keeping things clean and appropriate- and I laugh when I saw her give my girls their "own" dish of clam dip- just as she had given to Christian and me, which at the time I thought she was doing because we were so special she wanted us to have our own, but later learned that she didn't want our dirty hands double dipping from the adult bowl!) Granny/Liz, was active in the community, she was Past President of the Newington Democratic Women's Club; Past Secretary of Newington Chapter AARP and a member of the Newington Seniors. She also served as Past District Master and Treasurer of the Order of Vasa of CT; was Past Chairman of the Vega Benefit Society and an honorary member of the Svea Social Club, AND she volunteered at the polling stations into her late eighties. She was a strong democrat and even up to her last days, she loved to sit around the table with a Manhattan and talk politics. I always wonder what leadership role Granny would have taken on if she were born today. She seemed ahead of her time. She was a doer, someone who made stuff happen, and I always left her more energetic and rejuvenated than I came. Yet, as I say that, I think still she'd have a balanced life. She has a quiet resolve to her commitments- and she lived her values. Granny/Liz was a thoughtful person. She always made a special little something if she was going to someone's house for an evening- it could have been deviled eggs or cookies for dessert or even a knit potholder, but she wanted to appreciate that person for having her. The great grandchildren were always coming back from Granny's with little bags of treats and Granny enjoyed spoiling them with TV, naleshniki (crepes) and lots of Hershey kisses. She sent birthday cards, and anniversary cards and sometimes with a little money in there to buy a cocktail shed write. My favorite gift though from Granny was the box of Christmas cookies and cardamom buns we received on Christmas Eve. (And many of you may fondly remember that Christmas Eve is when we always sang Happy Birthday to her). She had a positive attitude about life, and while she had sorrows over the years through the death of loved ones, overall, she was an upbeat person, who enjoyed people and getting along with others. I was amazed at one of her stays in the hospital a few years ago, she told me all about how she became friendly with the nurses and her room mates- even sharing recipes with one woman in the bed next to her. She made friends wherever she went. In a society where people often don't know their neighbors, she has had long, caring relationships with her neighbors- and they helped one another along the way. I feel there's something for our generation to learn here. For her day, I think she was a bit of an adventurous spirit and wanted

to learn about the world, she took trips and did a lot with the seniors. She loved cruises and in her later years, the difficulty wasn't with her, but in finding a friend healthy enough to join her. So she met new people at the Senior Center and went with them. But most of all, what I remember about my grandmother is her love for me and others. Walking through the door in her kitchen I was always met with an unconditional love, filled with acceptance and welcome of who I was. It wasn't about what I accomplished or did, but for just being me. There was a warmth in her eyes and smile that helped me to feel safe and to know that I could relax now and take respite. She sometimes told me that the world changes and things aren't as they used to be, so you just have to accept that, you can't force your way on others. She loved her friends and family deeply and missed those who died before her. I want to mention especially, her husband Art, her son Ronald, and her siblings, George, Alice, Leanie and Sophie. I would sometimes talk to Granny and she would tell me about who else of her friends had died, but she didn't stop putting her love out there, instead she just kept caring about those around her and to give love to those new people who came into her life, especially her eleven great grandchildren. We all know that time goes by, and I no longer sit at the kids table. There is a whole new generation that has come into the world, and with it, the elder generation must pass on. But there is a hole in my heart today, a sadness for what was and for the person I will never again get to hug. I will miss her so much. And yet, I am filled with such gratitude for having such an amazing person in my life. She said to me once, "I hope you don't all cry for me when I die, I've lived a very full life and am very lucky for it." And I told her, yes we will, because love you and we will miss you. Granny, you are a millionaire, for you have created such a loving, warm, full life. Thank you for sharing your wealth with us, both for the lessons and your love. We are richer for having you in our lives and you will be missed greatly. We are blessed to know you, and are blessed to have a piece of you live on in each of us. We love you.

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