I got to be continually renewing my mind This is my toughest moments of being a Christian.

Studying abroad and trying to learn a foreign language especially Chinese is not an easy road. In an antichristian friendly environment, losing focus is always natural. Hence, I always got to be in the spirit, which is only an endeavour I have. Graduating from Bible College has given me an edge with coping with the so many obstacles that are ever arising. However, with such gigantic workload of study, my time in the word is often mitigated. Hence, Im not always operating in the fullness Im acquainted to. Though Ive gained a huge amount of understanding from Bible college, my walk with the lord is still so very short since Ive been a Christian for only two and a half years. In addition, I got saved only two and a half years ago and baptized in the year 2012. How to build yourself up? Ive listened Andrews teaching on how to build yourself up over and over again, sure right I did, but application and knowledge differs enormously. Ive also listened to a numerous amount of his teaching on how to always keep myself focused but the spirit is willing and the flesh is weak( probably thats just my vain way of decoying my ineffectiveness). I might be giving the implication that Im not a good flowerer of the word or spiritually Im not so solid but before you cast any judgment try picturing yourself in my shoes. Whats most challenging about studying in China? Make friends! Its probably the most two words of support Ive received overall. Yes I have, in fact Ive made quite a lot; Africans, Asians, Brazilians, etc. Consequently, how do you open up to friends that could never understand you? How do you immediately adapt to others culture and way of thinking and reasoning? Some people I will never understand. Even back home I often times had problems opening up to most of my so called friends. Moreover, the weather- the weather has proven to be one of my hindrances. Though its no excuse for my spiritual declination but physically my health is at stake. Presently my body is adjusting, I even came up with the flu lately but Ill overcome sickness, for I am an overcomer. Another challenge is spiritual warfare. Since before arriving in China Ive struggled a lengthy battle of warfare with the opposing spirits. In addition, there were night I was so bombarded with attacks from the enemy that I didnt get any sleep at night. Here, very little has changed, there is less warfare in my sleep but presently Im undergoing battle in my mind. Im rebuking these evil, destructive thoughts every day or Im I really? I might be struggling but if it one thing Im not defeated and I havent given up or given way to be sissified. Instead, Im throwing back pushes at the devil and his fallen angels. Well you know how to deal with the issues so whats you problem? As Ive mentioned knowledge and application is to different elements. When you not in the game of checkers you can see all the right moves but when youre in the game you marvel at your mistakes and the upper hand of you foe. I know the devil is already defeated by our Lord Jesus over 2000 years ago. I know that Im not just human but 1/3 of me is whirl, whirl Holy Ghost. I know that Im not just a mundane being but Im a new creature in Christ that strengthens me. I know that God has not given me a spirit of fear but a sound mind and boldness. I know where two or three gather God is in the midst of them. I know that God will never leave me nor forsake me. I know that his angels are encamped around me. I know that he has bared our infirmities and by his stripes I was healed. And I know that God has given us an expected end. But at the

end of the day I believe but Lord please help my unbelief. My problem is simply unbelief and Im not proud of myself. Hence, I got to be continually renewing my mind.