Ten Steps

Robert Littell
I put on a clean collar. I was in our room on the second floor where I could see into the Hubbels yard , and the ring on the stone post where they tie up their dog. The dog wasnt there. The collar which I took off had two kinds of laundry mark on the inside, one mark from the laundry where I used to take my shirts and a second mark from the present laundry. Then I washed my hands. The soap was worn down so that there was almost none left. It was as soap that smelled like salad. I turned off the water, but the water still went drip- drip from the faucet. I dried my hands. I hung the towel on the left end of the rod. The right end of the rod is for ae. The rod is glass and some day it will come loose and fall down and break. I shut the bathroom door so that I would not hear the drip-drip of the water from the faucet. I went into the room again which is for ae and mine. !n her bed in the day time she keeps a "rench doll with big eyes. #here the back of the bed hits the wall there is a mark. I mo$ed out the bed, and I saw the mark. It is black and a yard long. The doll fell of and I put it back on the bed so it could not look at me when I went out. Then I went out. I was is the hall , and I shut my eyes. I didnt know what kind of wallpaper there was in the hall. I thought that it would be green, but when I opened my eyes again it was more blue than green, with a woman , with a basket, and a lamp. %round the door the wallpaper was cut off, and there was only the lamp& eight times from ceiling to the flour , no woman , and no basket but only the lamp. I could touch to the ceiling when I stood on my toes. 'e(t to our room is the e(tra room, which we do not use. I went into that. The back of the mirror was peeling off , and both windows were closed. 1

On Basamak
Robert Littell Temi) bir ka)ak giydim.Hubbelin bah*esini $e k+peklerini ba,lad-klar- kaya .)erine *ak-l- halkay- g+rebildi,im ikinci kattaki odamdayd-m./+pek orada de,ildi.0-kard-,-m ka)a,-n i* taraf-nda iki *e1it *ama1-rhane etiketi $ard-,bir tanesi 1imdiki di,eri ise daha +nce g+mleklerimi g+t.rd.,.m *ama1-rhanenindi. 2onra ellerimi y-kad-m. 2abun eridi gitti $e neredeyse hi* kalmad-. 2alata gibi kokan bir sabundu.2uyu kapatt-m fakat su hala musluktan daml-yordu.3llerimi kurulad-m.Ha$luyu *ubu,un sol ucuna ast-m .0ubu,un sa, u* taraf- ae i*indi.0ubuk camdand-,)amanla ge$1edi $e d.1erek k-r-ld-. usluktan damlayan suyun sesini duymamak i*in banyo kap-s-n- kapatt-m. Tekrar ae $e bana ait olan odaya girdim . 4.n i*inde yata,-n-n .)erinde b.y.k g+)l. "rans-) yap-m- oyuncak bir bebek bulundururdu. 5ata,-n arka taraf-nda du$ara $urdu,u yerde i) olu1mu1tu. 5ataktan *-kt-m $e i)e bakt-m. 2iyah $e 6 yard u)unlu,undayd-. !yuncak d.1t.. !nu tekrar yata,-n .)erine geri koydum. !dadan *-karken oyuncak bana bakam-yordu. 2onra d-1ar- *-kt-m. /oridordayd-m,g+)lerimi kapad-m. /oridorda ne *e1it bir du$ar ka,-d- oldu,unu bilmiyordum. 5e1il olabilece,ini d.1.nd.m, fakat g+)lerimi tekrar a*t-,-mda ye1ilden *ok ma$iydi&kad-nl-,sepetli,lambal-. /ap- ci$ar-nda ka,-t kesilmi1ti &yerden ta$ana kadar seki) tane lamba $ard-, sadece lamba kalm-1t- kad-n $e sepet yoktu. 7armak u*lar-mda y.kseldi,imde ta$ana dokunabiliyordum. !dam-)-n biti1i,inde kullanmad-,-m-) ekstra bir oda $ard-. ! odaya girdim. %ynan-n arkas- soyulmu1tu $e iki pencerede kapal-yd-.

!n the window there was a large fly, and I opened the window and dro$e him out and he flew away. %nd in the window frame there was a long nail &and I took off my shoe and dro$e in the nail with the heel of my shoe. Then I put on my shoe again. I measured the room by walking across in each direction from one wall to other . It is ten by fourteen. I came into the parlor from the door across from the desk. The desk has three drawers down one side. I took out an en$elope from the bottom drawer and put some money in it and wrote 8 "or ae 8 on it and put it on the top of the desk. The curtains in the parlor were red. #here the sun hits them there is a part that is not red , but pink. There was a maga)ine on the table called Movieland, and I started to read it, but I did not read it. I went o$er the fireplace and looked at the rest of the room from there , and I saw the table and the carpet and how two chairs were facing right towards each other. I sat down on one of them and one of its legs was shorter than the others, and I got up and went into the kitchen. In the kitchen I saw ae shelling peas. 2he forces the peas out of the shell with her thump and they fell into the bowl. There were three peas on the floor and I picked them up and put them in my pocket. The kitchen floor was laid in linoleum with blue and white s9uares two inches s9uares. ae was sitting on a stool, reading a paper placed in front of her. 2he did not turn around when I came in. 2he said, :#hen you come back bring some sto$e polish with you. I said I was going now. I went out through the back door into the yard. There I saw my kid playing with some sand and toy truck, and then running the truck back and forth through sand. The sand was wet, and I could see the print of his hand on it. It was his left hand. I said, so long, son,: to him, but he didnt say anything. He was too busy with his truck and the sand.

;am-n .)erinde b.y.k bir b+cek $ard-. 7encereyi a*t-m,b+ce,i defettim, u*tu gitti. 7encerenin *er*e$esinde u)un bir *i$i $ard-. %yakkab-m- *-kard-m , topu,u ile *i$iyi *akt-m& tekrar giydim. !day- b.t.n y+nlerden y.r.yerek du$ardan du$ara +l*t.m. 6< ( 6= :t.. asadan ba1lay-p kap-dan ge*erek salona girdim. asan-n bir taraf-nda .* *ekmecesi $ard-. 3n alttaki *ekmeceden bir )arf ald-m, i*ine bira) para koydum,.)erine 8 ae i*in> ya)d-m $e masan-n .)erine b-rakt-m. 2alondaki perdeler k-rm-)-yd-. 4.ne1in $urdu,u perdelerde k-rm-)olmayan, pembe olan bir k-s-m $ard-. asan-n .)erinde Movieland ad-nda bir dergi $ard-. ?ergiyi okumaya ba1lad-n fakat okumad-m. @+minenin .)erine *-kt-m $e odan-n geri kalan-na oradan bakt-m. asay-, hal-y- $e tama olarak biri birine bakan iki koltu,u g+rd.m. Air tanesinin .)erine oturdum& bir baca,di,erlerinden k-sayd-. /alkt-m $e mutfa,a gittim. ea y- be)elyeleri soyarken g+rd.m. Aa1 parma,-yla be)elyeleri kabuklar-ndan *-kmaya )orluyordu $e be)elyeler kasenin i*ine d.1.yordu. Beminde .* be)elye tanesi $ard-. !nlar- toplad-m $e cebime koydum. utfa,-n taban- ma$i-beya) renkli,C inch lik kareli mu1ambayla d+1enmi1ti. ae taburenin .)erinde oturuyor $e +n.ndeki ga)eteyi okuyordu. D*eri girdi,imde bana d+nmedi. 84eri d+nd.,.nde bira) f-r-n cilasgetir> dedi. 81imdi gidiyorum> dedim. Aah*edeki arka kap-dan *-kt-m. !rada kum $e oyuncaklarla oynayan *ocu,umu g+rd.m. /umu oyuncak kamyona koyuyor, kamyonu itiyor bo1alt-yordu. /um nemliydi, .)erinde *ocu,un el i)ini g+rebiliyordum. sol elinin i)iydi. 8Ho1*a kal e$lat> dedim. ! hi*bir 1ey demedi. /um $e kamyonu ile *ok me1guld..

Then I went to the garage, and unlock the door. I ran a cloth o$er the windshield of the car, and it was scratched in a half circle where the windshield wiper wipes it. %nd I stood there a couple minutes, and then I closed the doors and walked alongside of the house to the frond and looked at my watch. It was twenty minutes to ten. Then I walked down the wooden steps to the sidewalk, and I counted the steps. I counted ten steps, I thought I counted the last step, but perhaps I didnt . I walked down the street, and I looked back, and saw the house , and there was one window with a shade halfway down, and I wanted to go back and count the steps again to make sure, but I didnt. I walked down to the corner and took the bus and got off at the police station and found ;aptain Rogers and told him that if they were looking for the man who killed 2am athews they should arrest me because I had done it. ;aptain Rogers asked me if I want to write out a confession and I said that I would, but before I tell them how I killed athews I want to write down the last things which I saw in my house and how I remember them, because now I will want always to be able to remember about all those things that I wont e$er see again.

2onra garaEa gittim $e kap- kilidini a*t-m.%raban-n +n cam-ndaki +rt.y. kald-rd-m,cam sileceklerinin sildi,i yerlerde yar-m daireler olu1mu1tu.Air iki dakika orada kald-m ,kap-larkapatt-me$in yan-ndan +n tarafa do,ru y.r.d.m $e saatime bakt-m. 2aat ona yirmi $ard-. %h1ap basamaklardan kald-r-ma do,ru y.r.d.m $e bu basamaklar- sayd-m. !n basamak sayd-m, son basama,sayd-,-m- d.1.nd.m ama belki de saymad-m. 2okaktan a1a,- do,ru y.r.d.m ,geriye bakt-m $e e$i g+rd.m, yar- a*-k g+lge li bir pencere $ard-.4eriye d+n.p emin olmak i*in basamaklar- tekrar saymak istedim."akat gitmedim./+1eye kadar y.r.d.m ,otob.se bindim polis karakolunda indim $e y.)ba1- Ragers- buldum.2am atthews. +ld.ren adam- arayorsan-) beni tutuklayabilirsini) *.nk. onu ben +ld.rd.m dedim. 5.)ba1- Ragers itiraf-m- ya)mak isteyip istemedi,imi sordu,ya)abilece,imi s+yledim fakat +nce onlara atthews. nas-l +ld.rd.,.m. anlatt-m.5a)mak istedi,im son 1eyler e$imde g+rd.klerim $e onlar- 1imdi nas-l hat-rlad-,-md-.0.nk. 1imdi, bir daha asla g+remeece,im b.t.n o 1eyleri her )aman hat-rlayabilmek istiyorum.