Heather Kelley Final Paper

My name is Heather Dawn Kelley, born in Salt Lake to a happily married Lauri and Ray Kelley. I am their only child although my dad has a son from a previous marriage who lives in Baltimore, MD. WE rarely had much to do with my brother, Kevin after my dad stopped paying child support when he was 21. When I was a baby until I was a small child (about 3 years old) we lived together in a small travel trailer that was pulled behind a 1970s era Ford truck. With my dad being an Electrician with the IBEW union, we never knew where the job would require him to go. Until I was 3 there was work in Castledale Utah where my mom and I went with him and lived in that tiny trailer. I slept n the table that converted t a couch and my parents slept in the twin bed together. When he got called to work

on the Empire State building and the Twin Towers they bought mobile home on the west side of salt Lake. My mom went to visit him only once in the 3 yeas he was gone. He traveled like that until Microsoft started building a plant in Utah about 10 years later. I never knew that we were poor. My mom provided me with all the love and attention that I needed and could ever expect in retrospect. When I played with the other children in the trailer park that is when I learned and noticed that I had feelings of Empathy. When increasing social experiences and decreasing egocentrism, children develop empathy, and an understanding of other peoples feelings and concerns, and antipathy, dislike or even hatred. (Berger, Pg. 226) I noticed that the other children in the park had to share bedrooms with many of their siblings and they didnt have toys to play with and a lot f the time they were wearing dirty clothes. I rode the bus to school and quite often No one wanted to sit by me, so that did hurt my feelings, but I suppose that is when I learned about rejection. Still in my life I feel rejection but it is a

very easy emotion to recognize because it has been with me for many years. We moved into our first house in south Salt Lake when I was 10. It was nice to have a house instead of a trailer. It was different to live in a neighborhood where I did not belong to the dominant religion. I was invited by a neighbor to attend her church when I was 11. I went to the program appropriate for the age and the teacher said that people are not good if they are not in that religion and not to talk or associate with people that didnt belong to that church. It embarrassed my neighbor terribly and I was really scarred by the whole lesson that was aught to the whole class. My neighbor never talked to me after that, neither did anyone on my block. It made grade school quite difficult, but Junior High was ever=n worse. I already had a stigma because mist of the rumors spread quickly that I wasnt a member of the church. At this particular school it was filled with clicks and if you didnt fit in during the first 7th grade year, you never would. I had played cello since I was 10 and I was bullied out of orchestra and other clubs I tried to attend. Dance company

was especially difficult because the member were chosen by the peers, not by the teacher or other outside sources to judge talent. Being rejected from Dance Company opened the gateway for developing an eating disorder. One reason for poor nutrition among teenagers is anxiety about anxiety. (Berger, pg. 328) It was really hard not being accepted by my peers when I knew that deep down we all had the same common interests and would have gotten along great. Eating disorders Bulimia nervosa is three times as common as anorexia'. (Berger, pg. 329) I developed Bulimia at age 13. I thought I would fit in better, and if not- at least I thought that I would feel better about myself.

So I started deviating from the normal pathway of what teens usually do like shop at the mall together and talk about boys. I suppose I seeked out people that were also cast away so I wouldnt be alone being a misfit. At the age of 13 I got my first tattoo. I remember that in Unit 5 Body Decorations was a discussion question. I had very protective

parents and they would never approve of tattoo so my older boyfriend got it lined up. I hid it from my parents for about a year but they finally found out and were very upset. By the time I was 9th grade, 15 years old I had left my parents house and become a full-fledged drug addict. I started with Cocaine and Marijuana at 13 but was very comfortable with Methamphetamine by the time I was 15. Even though I moved out, I was able to enroll in an alternative high school and get my diploma a year early. Most teenagers try psychoactive drugs which are drugs that effect the mind. Both the prevalence and incidence of drug use increase every year from age 10 to 25 and then decrease. Use before age predicts later abuse. (Berger, pg. 382) Before my 16th birthday I remember starting to use Meth intravenously. It was like a totally new drug experience. Since I wasnt home and didnt have money, I hung around much older people and wasted many years of my life. I would occasionally run into my mom around town

and she was always so surprised to see the hoodlums I was with and how bad I looked. I had a boyfriend at the time that couldnt stay out of trouble. He was always going to jail. The last time he was released I told him it was over for good! And his response the next day was to get BETRAYED tattooed across his neck. Several months later he was picked up from a drug deal and hanged himself in prison from the top bunk with his bed sheets. Everyone that knew him pooled together to afford an obituary. My father passed away at age 22 and I was still using (although I did clean up for a whole year to spend it with him. After his death I did more drugs than I ever imagined possible. I finally cleaned up when I just had had enough. There had been lots of bad experiences in my drug using days like being raped 4 times and getting my head beaten into an automatic sprinkler head until I didnt wake up. Some strangers found me in the courtyard the net morning alone and partly naked.

Knowing that I needed to change my life, and fast so I went to therapy and found out that I didnt deserve bad treatment and that I had chronic depression, anxiety and P.T.S.D. I decided to go to school to help adults and teens that went through the same things that I did. It would have been reslly nice to have someone else to talk to that had gone through it too. I am applying to get a Substance Use Disorder Treatment Training Certificate Program Application. I know that I can make a difference in this life and hopefully save a life if there is one to save.

Works Cited Berger, Kathleen Stassen. Invitation to the Lifespan: With Dsm5 Update. S.l.: Worth Pub, 2014. Print.