"

T
i
s

n
o
t

s
e
a
s
o
n
a
b
l
e

t
o

c
a
l
l

a

m
a
n

t
r
a
i
t
o
r
,

t
h
a
t

h
a
s

a
n

a
r
m
y

a
t

h
i
s

h
e
e
l
s
.
"

J
o
h
n

S
e
l
d
e
n















$
1
,
9
5
4
,
8
4
4
.
5
8
PL US: 7 DAY NEW BRAUNF EL S/SAN MARCOS L I VE MUSI C GUI DE PL US: 7 DAY NEW BRAUNF EL S/SAN MARCOS L I VE MUSI C GUI DE
Who Was Ken Esel? | Fake News | Ask a Mexican | Colby's Jack Bauer Fixation
VOLUME THREE
I S S U E 19
05 .08 .14
VOLUME THREE
I S S U E 19
05 .08 .14
Pom
Night
Royaly!
page 10
Pom
Night
Royaly!
page 10
T
X

C
I
T
I
Z
E
N
1
1
1
1

N
.

W
a
l
n
u
t

A
v
e
n
u
e

N
e
w

B
r
a
u
n
f
e
l
s
,

T
X

7
8
1
3
0
8
3
0
.
3
5
8
.
2
4
9
3
A
l
l

o
r
i
g
i
n
a
l

c
o
n
t
e
n
t

i
s

c
o
p
y
r
i
g
h
t

T
X

C
i
t
i
z
e
n
.

T
X

C
i
t
i
z
e
n

i
s

p
u
b
l
i
s
h
e
d

e
v
e
r
y

T
h
u
r
s
d
a
y
.
O
n
e

c
o
p
y

(
p
e
r

p
e
r
s
o
n
)

o
f

T
X

C
i
t
i
z
e
n

i
s

a
v
a
i
l
a
b
l
e

f
r
e
e

o
f

c
h
a
r
g
e
,

w
i
t
h

t
h
e

p
r
i
o
r

w
r
i
t
t
e
n

c
o
n
s
e
n
t

o
f

T
X

C
i
t
i
z
e
n

r
e
q
u
i
r
e
d

t
o

r
e
m
o
v
e

m
u
l
t
i
p
l
e

c
o
p
i
e
s

f
r
o
m

d
i
s
t
r
i
b
u
t
i
o
n

p
o
i
n
t
s
.

M
u
l
t
i
p
l
e

c
o
p
i
e
s

a
n
d

b
a
c
k

i
s
s
u
e
s

a
r
e

a
v
a
i
l
a
b
l
e

a
t

T
X

C
i
t
i
z
e
n

o
f
f
c
e
s

f
o
r

$
2
.
5
0

e
a
c
h
.
S
T
A
F
F

/

C
O
N
T
A
C
T
P
u
b
l
i
s
h
e
r
/
E
d
i
t
o
r
-
i
n
-
C
h
i
e
f


M
i
k
e

R
e
y
n
o
l
d
s

D
i
r
e
c
t
o
r

o
f

D
i
s
t
r
i
b
u
t
i
o
n

C
h
a
s
e

C
o
c
h
r
a
n
A
r
t

D
i
r
e
c
t
o
r


K
a
y
l
a

W
a
l
l
a
c
e

E
d
i
t
o
r
i
a
l
:

n
e
w
s
@
t
x
c
i
t
i
z
e
n
.
c
o
m
A
d
v
e
r
t
i
s
i
n
g
:

s
a
l
e
s
@
t
x
c
i
t
i
z
e
n
.
c
o
m

D
i
s
t
r
i
b
u
t
i
o
n
:

d
i
s
t
r
i
b
u
t
i
o
n
@
t
x
c
i
t
i
z
e
n
.
c
o
m
P
H
O
T
O

C
R
E
D
I
T
S
C
o
v
e
r
,

A
r
o
u
n
d

&

A
b
o
u
t
K
a
t
i
e

G
o
m
e
z
2 AD SALES 830.358.2493
table of contents
1st Word
I f youre goi ng t o t hreat en
l egal act i on, were goi ng t o
get some mi l eage out of i t .
3
7
Citizen
Soundcheck
The ONLY gui de of i t s ki nd
for t he NB/SM Met ropl ex!
Around & About
Space Oddi t y Prom Ni ght !
13
Carpe Canis/
Carpe Cattus
I t s ei t her your house or t he bi g
house for t hese furr y orphans.
12
The County s
Most Wanted
Look Mommy! Daddys i n t he paper!
Ask a Mexican
Gust avo of fends i n t wo l anguages.
15
Last Word
Col by get s hi s 24 on.
10
Fake News
News t hat i snt t rue.
St op aski ng.
4
Advice from
Opa Esel
Got a probl em? You wi l l
11
ADVERTISE
WITH US
830.358.2493
2 AD SALES 830.358.2493
215 S. Seguin Downtown NB 830.620.9188
Join us for
Breakfast & Lunch!
w w w. o l i v e s i t a l i a n ma r k e t . c o m
Monday - Saturday
8am to 3pm
/olivesitalianmarket
One Hour Facial
or Swedish Massage $45
Includes Free Brow Wax
or
One Hour Facial
AND Swedish Massage $89
Includes Free Brow Wax
Offer expires 6-30-14. Valid for First Time Customers.
219 E. San Antonio St 830.358.7079
www.spadowntownNB.com
24 Beers on Tap - Full Bar
Live Entertainment - Pool Tables
BLACK WHALE PUB
367 Main Plaza 830-625-6605
Karaoke Thursday & Sunday
DJs Wednesday Friday Saturday
118 Common St.
830.387.4466
Cool off with a
cold beer & enjoy a good old fashion
hamburger!
S
P
U
D
RA
N
C
H
Open Mon-Sat 11 to 8
Closed Sundays
Greg Gallagher
Attorney at Law
83O. 237. 2265
Free Consultation!
DWI DEFENSE $1, 5OO* Expunctions $5OO*
*Excluding Filing Fees
989 Loop 337 830. 626. 2253 /SweetDreamsNB
492 West San Antonio
The Bra Specialist
830.214.0728
15% off
when you check-in on
(Does not apply to
sale items and may
not be combined with
other offers.)
NOTICE TO CREDITORS. Notice is hereby given
that original Letters of Independent Administration
with Will Annexed for the Estate of Harold John
Laubach, Deceased, were issued on October 15,
2013, in Cause No. 2012PCA0280, pending in the
County Court at Law ofComal County, Texas, to:
Robeii Wade Jacoby and Sandra Lee Strange and
Kenneth Nickel.
All persons having claims against this Estate
which is currently being administered are required to
present them to the undersigned within the time and
in the manner prescribed by law.
DATED the 28th day of April, 2014.
Frank B. Suhr, Attorney at Law,
473 S. Seguin Ave, Ste 100, New Braunfels, TX 78130
State Bar No.: 19466300, Tel: (830) 625-4345,
Fax: (830) 606-4511, Attorney for Sandra Lee Strange
LEGAL NOTICES
Try our
NEW
breakfast tacos!
Served 7 to 10am
Pick-up
Drive Through
Now Open!
830.606.1610 1030 N Business Ih 35
2 AD SALES 830.358.2493 2 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 3
It makes no difference if I burn
my bridges behind me - I never
retreat. Fiorello LaGuardia
The Inevitable:
Were Getting Sued
(Maybe)
You knew it had to happen sooner or later,
although I expected it would be in the form
of a defamation action by the City Attorney,
and not an out-of-thin air intellectual property
issue. But hey, a lawsuits a lawsuit, and
were not going to let the threat of one slide
past us without milking it dry. This column
doesnt write itself.
Since our inception, weve run a faux
advice column with the title of Advice from
Uncle Esel, written from the perspective
of a lifetime resident of New Braunfels, a
German-American by the name of Ken Esel.
Esel, is, of course, German for jackass.
The Ken was a reference to Ken Valentine,
the recalled District Six City Councilman,
who always signs his emails Love, K.
Uncle Esel is a fctional character, as are his
wife and great-great grandfather, whom are
occasionally referenced. Hes not really your
uncle, either. Surprise.
The true identity of the author of the
column has been a closely guarded secret, as
Uncle Esel was generous with his criticisms of
the citys ruling class, and watching those folks
go absolutely crazy trying to fgure out who
was behind it was nothing short of gratifying. I
was even asked, during a deposition in a case
that had nothing to do with this publication, to
reveal Ken Esels identity. That odd demand
came from attorney Carter Casteel, mother of
current Mayoral Candidate Barron Casteel.
She thought perhaps I was Ken Esel. She also
thought she would beat me in court. She was
wrong on both counts. Oops.
Anyway, my only point here is that people
wanted to know who Ken Esel was. Both
fans and detractors were obsessed with the
identity of the writer. We capitalized on that
by mounting an I am Ken Esel campaign,
wherein dozens of locals claimed,
via social media, to be Ken Esel,
in a tongue-in-cheek move to
express collective pan-Esel
consciousness. That was fun.
The writer of the column
had no problem with other
people claiming to be Ken Esel, and
in fact, enjoyed it. He was amused with the
fuss, and was content to remain anonymous
and let me take the heat for what he wrote.
That was fne by me, but now he wants
credit, which is also fne with me, but which,
of course, means he cant be anonymous
anymore. After all, a fctitious character
cant sue anybody.
We thought about suing the writer
ourselves in order to make him stop using
the Ken Esel name on Facebook, but Ive
been through these things before, and really,
aint nobody got time for that. So were
just going to apologize to former District
One City Councilman Richard Zapata for
using another writer to produce under Ken
Esels name, and we promise not to publish
anything under that name ever again, ever,
ever, ever, never. As for why we had to cut
ties with him, that info follows.
Mayor Pospisil with Ken Esel
Continued on page 5.
MIKE
REYNOLDS
WITH
WORD
1
ST
PRICKLY PEAR
LOUNGE
THURSDAY 5-8
National No Socks Day!
Karaoke w/Johnny V!!
FRIDAY 5-9
DJ KC Rockin' The World!
SATURDAY 5-10
National Johnny V Day!
Karaoke All Night, Baby!
SUNDAY 5-11
HI MOM! Happy Hour All Day Long
Free Darts & Pool
MONDAY 5-12
National Leprechaun Day!
Happy Hour all Day for Leprechaun Lovers
TUESDAY 5-13
Free Darts & Pool
WEDNESDAY 5-14
Get your HUMP Day on
With Free Darts & Pool
THURSDAY 5-15
Karaoke w/Johnny V!
1051 N. IH-35
|
Like us!
In The Ramada 830-625-8017
!!!GO SPURS GO!!!
KEEPIN' IT
PRICKLY
SINCE
1979
367 Main Plaza
830-625-6605
Local Brews
Belgian Beers
Imports
24 Beers on Tap
Full Bar
Live Entertainment
30+ TVs
100%
SMOKE-FREE
100%
SMOKE-FREE
The Public Has a Right to Know
Before Voting in the County Runoff May 27
Comal County Commissioner Candidate Dan Krueger has years of public service
to examine in order to determine if he should be elected to County office.
Fiscal Oversight?
Based on what we have learned, it is clear that had the previous administration
established and followed proper processes and procedures we would not find
ourselves where we are today.
CISD Superintendent Andrew Kim, March 3, 2014
For the 15 years that Krueger was on the Board, did he
exercise appropriate fiscal oversight to make sure that these
kinds of things would not happen so that taxpayer money
would be protected from fraud?
Paid Political Ad by John Birdwell III
CISD performed a $200,000 audit in the fall of 2013 and
discovered that a contractor over-charged the school district
for activities and misspending associated with the 2008
bond to the tune of $7+ million.
In the agreement with the contractor, the present school
board agreed to a $5.9 million settlement from the contractor,
leaving $1.1 million unrefunded. They also agreed NOT to
investigate the 2005 bond or prior financial dealings. Why?
Even though Dan Krueger has not been on the school board
since 2008, he was in attendance at the February 27, 2014
meeting, in which the deal was announced to the public.
4 AD SALES 830.358.2493
T
e
x
t
W
IN
G
S
N
B

to
7
1
4
4
1
F
O
R
G
R
E
A
T
O
F
F
E
R
S

&
G
IV
E
A
W
A
Y
S
!
Buy 1 Meal &
2 Beverages & Receive
2nd Meal 50% Off
Buy 1 Meal &
2 Beverages & Receive
2nd Meal 50% Off
Dine-in only, limit one per customer.
Limit one coupon per table. Not valid
with any other offers. Maximum discount $6.00.
Valid at New Braunfels and San Antonio Location Only.
Expires 6/30/14
GREAT FOOD
& GREAT ENTERTAINMENT
Your
NBA Playoff
Headquarters!
Watch all your favorite teams
with us on 20+ TVs,
grab your wings to go,
or let Snap! deliver them to you!
830-626-9464(WING)
983 LOOP 337 NEW BRAUNFELS, TX 78130
Delivery! www.snapNB.com 830.358.7281
New Braunfels is a Texas institution and, like
many institutions, there is fear and a constant
fght over who controls the fow of various fuids.
Here are some shocking local news stories that,
for whatever reason, have been ignored by
other area media:

No More Parking, Ever
In a desperate attempt to further reduce tourism
into New Braunfels, the City Council recently
decided in a 5-2 vote to make all parking within
the city limits by permit only.
While a number of businesses were
naturally disturbed by the ordinance, the
fercest contention came from members of the
public who will now have to purchase permits to
park in their own driveways. Council remained
steadfast in its decision, even during the
onslaught of garbage and feral cats that were
hurled at members throughout the meeting.
Defending her decision, Mayor Gale
Pospisil said, Something had to be done. She
didnt elaborate.
When the mayor asked the City Attorney
if Council could legally pass such a measure,
Val Acevedo responded, Hmm? What? Oh,
yeah. Whatever.
New Braunfels resident Smiley
Stinkendekatzwerfer was, naturally irate.
Theyre telling me I have to buy a permit to just
park on my own property, Stinkendekatzwerfer
said. Next thing you know, theyll make us buy
permits just to live here.
Residents can pick up their permits at City
Hall for $1,200 per vehicle. Tourists can still
come to New Braunfels to enjoy its amenities and
attractions, but they wont be allowed to stop.

Their Town
Emboldened by the parking permit decision,
Councils next ordinance demands that all
residents purchase a permit to live or work in
New Braunfels. However, only 15 pre-selected
families would be allowed to purchase such
permits. Those still in town without permits will
be herded into the former Wurst Hall, which
has been converted into a re-permitting camp.
Angry citizens at the Council meeting were
collecting garbage and feral cats when armed
guards were called in. The citizens were then
marched to the Wurst Hall, as Councilmember
Stephen Digges yelled, Get out of our town!
Those who escaped likely found their way
into one of the burgeoning refugee camps set
up outside of Seguin.
Before the 4-3 vote was taken, Mayor
Pospisil asked City Attorney Acevedo if the
measure passed legal scrutiny.
I dont see why not, Acevedo said.
Youre the Mayor, you can do anything you
want, my liege.
Mayoral candidate Barron Casteel said
Council did the right thing. Something needed
to be done about this people problem, he
said. Casteel promised that if elected, he would
be elitist and tiresome.
Greg Gallagher, Casteels opponent,
questioned the ethics and legality of the
ordinance. He has not been seen since.
The ordinance does allow permit
exclusions for a variety of gardeners, maids,
cooks, nannies and indentured servants.
In an editorial, the New Braunfels daily
newspaper praised the Citys balanced
approach. The opinion piece went on to say
that the newspapers employees were looking
forward to new opportunities now that we are
no longer allowed to live here.

Kathleen Krueger Returns
Much ado was made about how much trash
would be in our rivers after a judge ruled
against the Citys disposable container ban.
However, little attention seemed to be given
to the story of several City employees caught
pouring bags of already collected cans back
into the rivers. The act was evidently an attempt
to falsely prove that river trash had dramatically
increased since the ruling.
Among the litterbugs was former Mayor
Pro-Tem Kathleen Krueger. Krueger was spotted
by offcers upturning several garbage bags of
cans into the Comal.
She was wild-eyed and cackling, said
one offcer who wanted to remain anonymous.
Ive come across some spooky people in my
time, but she scared me.
And, shes freakishly strong, the
offcer added.
When asked about the incident,
Krueger blatantly denied the accusations.
We were only trying to do our civic duty
and clean the river, she said. You know,
we found enough cans to stretch to the
moon and back.
When the fact was mentioned that there
is video of her actually dumping cans into the
river, Krueger responded, All the way to the
moon and back.
Any legal actions against Krueger are
unlikely, since she will be one of only 300
people permitted to live in New Braunfels.

Tony Bell makes things up for the TX Citizen.
FAKE NEWS
With Tony Bell
4 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 5
Est. 1986
1390 McQueeney Rd, New Braunfels
830-625-0045 or wateringholesaloon.com
Become a friend @ facebook.com/theholenb
Whats going on...
Tuesday & Wednesday -
Live Music
Thursday - Karaoke
Friday & Saturday - DJ Dance
Happy Hour
11am - 7pm Everyday
ALL Day Sunday
Nightly Drink Specials
7pm - 11pm
Whats going on...
Tuesday & Wednesday -
Live Music
Thursday - Karaoke
Friday & Saturday - DJ Dance
Happy Hour
11am - 7pm Everyday
ALL Day Sunday
Nightly Drink Specials
7pm - 11pm
Continued from page 3.
Issue One: Mark McGonigal
& Matthew Fields
Former District One Councilman Richard Zapata
now works for Mark McGonigal and with
Matthew Fields, both of whom have been under
investigation for various crimes, one completely
without merit (McGonigals name change), and
others that the jury, so to speak, is still out on.
Having worked for McGonigal and
Fields, (when McGonigal owned the now
out-of-print NB Citizen), I can tell you this:
They both very much want to be thought of
as sneaky geniuses who know the law inside
and out, and have a penchant for tall tales
about their exploits. In addition, McGonigal
wants people to think he is incredibly wealthy,
as well as dangerous to people that deserve
it. As of publication, I probably fall into that
group. Wish me luck.
Now that Zapata has threatened to use
McGonigals reportedly bottomless resources to
sue us over Ken Esel, we fgure the gloves are
off and we might as well get this thing over with.
There are two things Zapata (and
every American, for that matter) should
understand, however:
1) You cant hire my own lawyer to sue
me, and
2) You cant fle a trademark infringement
suit unless you actually have a trademark. Last
I checked, we have the pending trademark on
the character, and Im sure as heck not going
to sue myself on your behalf.
Duh.
Issue Two: David Martinez
A few weeks back, David Martinez began
a six-month prison term for Tampering with a
Government Record, after admitting to signing
the bottom of petition forms for which he did not
personally collect the signatures. (By signing
those forms, he swore otherwise.) He claimed
that notary Matthew Fields instructed him to
sign the petitions. We have since confrmed
with witnesses that that was indeed the case.
After it was discovered that Martinez
was being investigated, Fields claimed that
he went to the trouble of arranging and
recording a phone call with Martinez, wherein
he had Martinez tell him that he (Fields) didnt
force Martinez to sign anything. Fields
then offered that recording to Texas Rangers
during their investigation, but, per the court
records, never provided it. Thats a heck of
a tap dance to go through, when a simple
No would have suffced.
So now Martinez is in state prison,
which, according to HBO, is a horrible place
to be. We believe Fields could have aided
in his defense, but chose not to. When we
confronted Zapata with the fact that Fields
was possibly culpable in that crime and left
Martinez out to dry, he didnt tell us that Fields
was not guilty of wrongdoing, only that the
statute of limitations had run out. A languid
defense, if ever there was one.
Kids, remember this. If you fnd yourself
making an excuse like the one above,
consider it an urgent signal to change your
social/familial circle. Dont hang around with
people that need legal excuses. Unless youre
a lawyer or a judge, Statute of Limitations
shouldnt be part of your vernacular.
Issue Three: The FBI
Last year, I was contacted by the FBI to
discuss McGonigal, who is currently under
investigation for attempting to intimidate a
public offcial, that offcial being District Five
Councilman Bryan Miranda (this according to
Mirandas statements to the media). I imagine
there might be other issues being investigated,
but thats the one we know about. I have no
idea what case(s) my actual FBI interviews
were regarding. G-Men are all tight-lipped
and whatnot, which is why I cant get a job
at the Bureau.
Kids, if the FBI ever calls you about a
friend, get rid of that friend. You dont need
friends that are under investigation by the FBI,
and, frankly, you dont need calls from the FBI.
If you work for somebody under investigation
by the FBI, I suggest you quit. On a positive
note, however, the Bureaus HQ is pretty cool.
Plus you get nametag when you visit and all
the coffee/Pentothal you can drink.
There were questions about guns and
cash and all manner of things I saw while in
McGonigals employ. There was a guy from
the IRS there too. We had a nice laugh about
how we found a gun hidden in a copier at the
old NB Media offce. For the record, I dont
trust people that hide guns in offce equipment.
While it smacks of criminality, its reckless as
Hell. I dont know if it was loaded. I do know
that my kid was in that offce.
I told the FBI I wouldnt say anything about
my conversations with them, but lets face it,
theyre the FBI. I dont think Im going to screw
up their case. And besides, when something
bad happens to me, as Im fairly positive it will
in the near future, I want them to know where
to look frst. (Large feld behind Icon Building
Systems in Seguin.)
In Conclusion
We apologize to former District One
Councilman Richard Zapata, pledge to never
publish anything under the name Ken Esel
again, and hope that these actions resolve the
issue to Mr Zapatas satisfaction. If not, wed
be pleased as Punch to keep bringing it up.
Mayor Sighting
As regular readers know, I had the pleasure
of appearing in The Fantasticks for the last
couple weeks at the Seekatz Opera House.
Mayor Pospisil was good enough to stop by,
and by all accounts, was having a wonderful
time right up to the point where I hit the stage.
She left at intermission, which is a shame,
because had she stayed for the second act she
would have seen me done up like this:
Theres nothing unusual about the Mayor
leaving early, as she has a history of getting half
the story before taking action. We understand
shes working on an ordinance banning me
from appearing in musical theater. (Analysis
courtesy of Jay Patrick.)
\m/
Mike Reynolds
Publisher/Editor-in-Chief
Best Damn Lunch Special
in New Braunfels!
12-4 Monday-Friday
$6.99 Lunch Specials
Specials Include Drink and Side
Slow Roasted Pulled Pork
Sandwiches & Nachos
Hand Breaded Catfish
$8.99 All You Can Eat
Catfish Fridays!
$0.50 Wing Wednesdays
1/2 Price Appetizers from
5-7pm (M-F)
Pool Darts Golden Tee 2014 Daily Drink Specials
830.620.9091 www.scoresnb.com
223 W San Antonio St, Downtown New Braunfels
Homemade Bloody Marys
using Fresh Infused
Jalapeno/Garlic Vodka
6 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 7
Thu 5.8
Adobe Verde
Jeremy Steding
6pm
Freiheit Country Store
Open Mic
6pm
Iron Horse Grill
Jesse Stratton
7pm
Koozies Icehouse
Eric Middleton
w/ Isaac Pineda
6pm
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
Jam Night
6pm
Phoenix Saloon
The Leftovers
5pm
AJs Ale House
Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show
9pm
Cheatham Street Warehouse
Damn Quails
w/ Pardo & Reed
8pm
ULRICH
ELLISON
ULRICH
ELLISON
Between the 2nd & 3rd Crossing On site at Kane's Ol river Hideaway
kooziesicehouse.com
THOM
SHEPHERD
THOM
SHEPHERD
Join us for an acoustical night
Thursday, May 8 @ 6pm
Live music with
Isaac Pineda opening for
Eric Middleton of Midnight River Choir
ERIC
MIDDLETON
& KOOZIES FIRST ANNIVERSARY!
M ud bu
g
bash
Saturday, May 17
from noon til the moon!
Crawfish while they last, BBQ Sandwiches
& Sausage Wraps available!
Live music by
Ulrich Ellison & The Tribe,
William Stewart, Isaac Pineda
& The Thom Shepherd Band
UPCOMING EVENTS:
JULY 3 Thom Shepherd Band JULY 4 Midnight River Choir JULY 5 Isaac Jacob Band
WILLIAM
STEWART
WILLIAM
STEWART
TXCITIZEN.COM 7
Thu 5.8
Adobe Verde
Jeremy Steding
6pm
Freiheit Country Store
Open Mic
6pm
Iron Horse Grill
Jesse Stratton
7pm
Koozies Icehouse
Eric Middleton
w/ Isaac Pineda
6pm
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
Jam Night
6pm
Phoenix Saloon
The Leftovers
5pm
AJs Ale House
Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show
9pm
Cheatham Street Warehouse
Damn Quails
w/ Pardo & Reed
8pm
Gruene Hall
Walt Wilkins & the Mystiqueros
7pm
The Pour Haus
Nick Lawrence
7pm
Fri 5.9
Adobe Verde
Dry River Religion
6:30pm
Iron Horse Grill
The Suss
8pm
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
MC & the Mystyx
6pm
Phoenix Saloon
Jade Marie Patek
5pm
James Pardo & the Underestimated
w/ Canvas People
9pm
Rileys Tavern
Jeff Vaughn & Friends
5pm
Andrea Marie
9pm
AJs Ale House
Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show
9pm
Alpine Haus Restaurant
Off the Grid Polka Band
6pm
Billys Ice House
Anthony Terry, No Refund Band
8pm
Cheatham Street Warehouse
Canvas People
w/ Blue Water Hwy
9pm
Gruene Hall
The Georges
7:30pm
The Pour Haus
Mothership Connection
8pm
River Road Ice House
Dale Watson
w/ Wes Nickson
8pm
Tavern in the Gruene
Shane Rogers Band
8pm
Vineyard at Gruene
Bennett & Hinze
7pm
Vino en Verde
Megan Ford
8:30pm
Sat 5.10
Adobe Verde
Jonathan Garcia
6:30pm
Black Whale Pub
TBA
9pm
Iron Horse Grill
Bennett & Hines
9pm
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
NB Blues Society Anniversary Party!
Phoenix Saloon
Mothership Connection
9pm
Rileys Tavern
Cornell Hurd
9pm
AJs Ale House
Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show
9pm
Y
O
U
R
L
IV
E
M
U
S
IC
G
U
ID
E
8 AD SALES 830.358.2493
Cheatham Street Warehouse
Doug Moreland Band
9pm
Gruene Hall
Danny Brooks
1pm
M Ward
w/ Mount Moriah
8pm, SOLD OUT
NB Farm to Market
Ron Brietzke
9:30am
The Pour Haus
Whiskey Rodeo
9pm
River Road Ice House
Jarrod Birmingham
8pm
Tavern in the Gruene
Kyle Reed Band
9pm
Vineyard at Gruene
Jerry Kirk
7pm
Vino en Verde
The Floaters
9pm
Sun 5.11
Adobe Verde
Jesse Stratton
6pm
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
The Jamie Krueger Group
2pm
Phoenix Saloon
Daniel Thomas Phipps
2pm
True Audio Outland
7pm
Cheatham Street Warehouse
2nd Annual Hill Country Formal
The Hill Country Gentlemen,
Shady Rest Band, Big City Folk,
Victor Holk & the Lookout
7pm
Geronimo VFW #8456
Mothers Day Dance
Sam Bentley Band
3pm
Gruene Hall
Bret Graham
12:30pm
Susan Gibson
5:30pm
The Pour Haus
Groovehounds
6pm
River Road Ice House
Guadapalooza
12pm
Vineyard at Gruene
Jackson Parten
3pm
Mon 5.12
Rileys Tavern
Songwriter Showcase
w/ John Whipple
8pm
Cheatham Street Warehouse
Grant Ewing & Colin Colby
8pm
Gruene Hall
Jamie Wilson
6pm
The Pour Haus
Paul Eldridge
7pm
Tavern in the Gruene
Court Nance Accident
8pm
Tues 5.13
Watering Hole Saloon
TBA
8:30pm
Billys Ice House
Austin Gilliam
8pm
Gruene Hall
Jordan Minor, Adam Carroll & the Hems
7pm
The Pour Haus
Open Mic w/ Jon Magill
8pm
River Road Ice House
Scott Morgan
6pm
Tavern in the Gruene
Roots & Branches
7pm
The Blooms
9:30pm
Wed 5.14
Buffalo Wings & Rings
Steven Roloff & Friends
7:30pm
Phoenix Saloon
Jesse Stratton
7:30pm
Rileys Tavern
Dillon Myers
9pm
Watering Hole Saloon
TBA
8:30pm
Billys Ice House
Aaron Stephens
8pm
Gruene Hall
The Georges
7pm
The Pour Haus
Tony Taylor
7pm
River Road Ice House
The Motts
8pm
Tavern in the Gruene
Slim Bawb & Tony Taylor
8pm
Vineyard at Gruene
Zack Walther
6pm
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
BEST
OF THE
WURST
2013
CO
-CH
A
M
P!
BEST BA
R
WINNER! BEST MAKE OUT SPOT: BASEMENT BAR
WWW.FREIHEITCOUNTRYSTORE.NET
VOTE FOR OUR EXTREME CHEESEBURGER!
COUNTRY STORE
KARAOKE
EVERY FRIDAY @ 8
BOOK YOUR
PRIVATE PARTY HERE
JUNE 13
BBQ Cook-off
with LC Rocks @ 8:30pm
$10 at the door!
JUNE 20
Johnny Lee &
The Urban Cowboy Band
Doors open @ 7pm
$12 in advance, $15 at the door!
Call 830.625.9400 for $25 VIP seating
8 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 9
Fri 5.9
The Continental Club
Club Lineup:
The Blues Specialists, 3:30pm
Bobby Bare Jr
w/ Ramsay Midwood
10pm, $10
Gallery Lineup:
Robert Kraft Trio, 8:30pm
Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5
Floores Country Store
Granger Smith & Earl Dibbles Jr
w/ Gary Kyle
7pm, 18+ $12-$15
Luckenbach Dance Hall
Lewis & Martin
4pm
Rosie Flores
8pm
Red Eyed Fly
Swamp Bats
10pm, Inside
Dead Things Dont Bleed,
Beard the Lion, Killing in Apathy,
Le Saboteure, Taking on Poseidon,
Beyond Fallen Shadows
8pm, Outside
Sams Burger Joint
Dan Gonzalez Band
8pm, $8
Stubbs BBQ
Full Service
9pm, Inside
Sat 5.10
The Continental Club
Club Lineup:
Redd Volkaert, 3:30pm
Soul Track Mind
w/ KP & the Boom Boom
10pm
Gallery Lineup:
Robert Kraft Trio, 8:30pm
Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5
Floores Country Store
Wade Bowen
w/ Paul Thorn
8pm, 18+, $20-$25
Luckenbach Dance Hall
Charlie Shafter
1pm
Walt Wilkins & the Mystiqueros
9pm, $10
Red Eyed Fly
Torque Order, Snake Skin Prison,
Pilot, Inch of Dark
9pm, Outside
R & J Music Pavilion
Chris Salinas & the Wild Grass Band
9pm
Sams Burger Joint
Bob Schneider
8pm, $15-$70
Stubbs BBQ
Fire in the Kitchen
w/ Stuckenburg, Ram Vela
9pm, Inside
SOUND TOWN
OUT
OF
Biergarten
Featuring Guadalupe Brewing Co. Beers
Special Events Monthly
Fresh Handmade
Sandwiches and Salsa
Private Parties- Catering
Wedding Facilities Available
Live Music Every Night
Never a Cover
Kid & Pet Friendly
1263 Gruene Road 830.625.1045
Call for Hours!
omalovesyou.com
Biergarten
Featuring Guadalupe Brewing Co. Beers
Special Events Monthly
Fresh Handmade
Sandwiches and Salsa
Private Parties- Catering
Wedding Facilities Available
Live Music Every Night
Never a Cover
Kid & Pet Friendly
1263 Gruene Road 830.625.1045
Call for Hours!
omalovesyou.com
MAY 8
@ 6 JAM NIGHT
MAY 9
@ 6 MC AND THE MYSTYX
MAY 10
NBBS ANIVERSARY PARTY
BIG EVENT!
MAY 11
@ 2 THE JAMIE KRUEGER GROUP
MAY 15
@ 6 JAM NIGHT
MAY 16
@ 6 THE CHRIS RUEST BAND
MAY 17
@ 11 THE LESTI HUFF BAND
@ 3 DANIEL THOMAS PHIPPS
& THE KINFOLK
@ 7 HOT MESS
Upcoming
Events:
See you there!
American Legion Post 179
DJ
Friday Nights, 7pm
Buffalo Wings & Rings
Karaoke
Tuesday Nights, 7:30pm 21+
Trivia
Thursday Night, 7:30pm
Dirtys Bar & Q
Karaoke
Wednesday Nights, 8pm
Faust Brewing Company
Trivia
Thursday Nights, 8pm
Old Ice House
Karaoke
Thursdays, Sundays
DJ
Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays
Phoenix Saloon
Karaoke
Thursday Nights
Prickly Pear Lounge
Karaoke
Thursdays, Saturdays
DJ KC
Fridays
The Watering Hole Saloon
Karaoke
Thursdays
DJ
Fridays, Saturdays
diversions
WWW.FREIHEITCOUNTRYSTORE.NET
VOTE FOR OUR EXTREME CHEESEBURGER!
COUNTRY STORE
KARAOKE
EVERY FRIDAY @ 8
BOOK YOUR
PRIVATE PARTY HERE
JUNE 13
BBQ Cook-off
with LC Rocks @ 8:30pm
$10 at the door!
JUNE 20
Johnny Lee &
The Urban Cowboy Band
Doors open @ 7pm
$12 in advance, $15 at the door!
Call 830.625.9400 for $25 VIP seating
10 AD SALES 830.358.2493
AROUND & ABOUT
Photos by
Katie Gomez
Last Friday night, it was a David Bowie-inspired, Space Oddity Prom Night out at Oma Gruenes Secret
Garten! Mayoral candidate Greg Gallagher was on hand to meet the revelers, and Steve and Renee Wilson
of Element 29 were crowed King and Queen of the prom check them out on the cover! The event was such
a huge success that its already on the schedule for next year. Grab your trench coats and skinny ties, its
looking like The Who might be providing next years theme!
10 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 11
Enjoy Responsibly
2014 Shock Top Brewing Co., Shock Top

Lemon Shandy Flavored Belgian-Style Wheat Beer, St. Louis, MO

Brand: Shock Top
Item #: PST201410573
Job/Order #: 262167
Trim: 5.06" x 11.31"
Bleed: none
Live: 4.81" x 11.06"
Closing Date: 4/25/14
QC: CS
Publication: TX Citizen
Dear Opa Esel:
I have been keeping up with the
Forbidden Island issue, but I am still
confused. Even though the residents
of Booneville Avenue dont have legal
rights to it, why do they still act as if they
do? What is really going on there?
Wondering Why

Dear Wondering:
You are quite right to be muddled. Because
the residents near the island seem desperate to
maintain claims on something they do not, and
cannot own, it naturally creates suspicion. I do
sincerely believe that there is more here than
meets the eye. While the rest of the TX Citizen
staff has to work with verifable facts, the Opa
is not bound to such trivialities. Here are some
of the rumors I have heard about town:
They dont want anyone to fnd the
bodies. Whether these may be the remains of
mouthy servants, wayward tourists or victims
of ritual sacrifce is unknown. However, tread
there at your own risk. The police may be least
of your problems.
It is the last known habitat of the
Giant Fish Man of the Comal, a creature
produced by years of inbreeding among
Booneville Avenue residents. While some
say the Fish Man is nothing more than local
lore, I well know there are stranger things this
universe holds.
The residents only wish to protect us
from the Communist menace.
The island is where the Booneville
Avenue residents go to be naked and
whatnot, and they dont want some lumbering
lesser resident or tourist to disturb their
Bacchanalian frenzy.
Eva Braun had a cottage there.
It is where not-so-famous river pirate
Plucky Bo buried his treasure horde of empty
laudanum bottles and pornography.
Personally, I tend to favor the Fish
Man theory.
Love, K

Dear Opa Esel:
Are you real?
Just Wondering

Dear Wondering:
No.
Love, K
Dear Opa Esel:
I am ethically tortured by the
seeming contradictory moral lesson of
the Abraham and Isaac story. Could you
please help?
Befuddled and Heavy With Woe

Dear Befuddled:
Yeah, I get this one a lot.
Norwegian existentialist Soren
Kierkegaard took on the Abraham and Isaac
dilemma in his work Fear and Trembling
and answered it with what he called the
Teleological Suspension of the Ethical.
What this means, basically, is that morals
are Gods rules for man and we cannot,
in turn, impose such ethical standards to
Gods behavior. Whether God intended
Abraham to kill Isaac is beside the point
and irrelevant, according to Kierkegaard,
who quipped that if your pastor relates that
point, you should put your feet up on the
pew in front of you and go to sleep because
he is not telling you anything about faith.
The point that Kierkegaard was
trying to make, I think, is that the believer
should have faith that Gods decisions
are right and are only fully understood by
God, part of what he referred to as the
leap of faith. To apply the same moral
standards to God that God set down for us
is improper and backwards.
This is kind of like how you can tell your
dog to stop humping peoples legs, but your
dog cant tell you to stop doing the same.
I hope this helps.
Love, K

To Warm Hearted Lover, who wrote
a secret letter:
I think you got some wrong information
somewhere. You should use whipped cream,
not mayonnaise. No wonder your partners are
screaming. Ive had nightmares since reading
your letter.
Love, K
Karl Esel is a lifetime resident of our fair city, and is well
known for his sage advice on a wide range of topics. If
you fnd yourself perplexed with no one to turn to, send
your question to Opa Esel at: askesel@txcitizen.com.
Be sure to write Question for Opa Esel in the subject
line of your email.
ADVICE FROM
OPA ESEL
12 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 13
MOST WANTED
$200
REWARD
COMAL COUNTY S
MEDELLIN, JESSE
RODRIGUEZ
Male 507 200 lbs
DOB: 01/01/1976
CHARGE: Possession
of a controlled
substance pg 1 under
1 gram and theft of
property under $1500
with 2 or more
previous convictions
CLOUGH,
RONNIE DEAN
Male 506 182 lbs
DOB: 12/31/1960
CHARGE: Two
charges - Failure to
appear for aggravated
assault with deadly
weapon and two
charges bail jumping/
fail to appear felony
FLORES,
JOE MARIA
Male 510 163 lbs
DOB: 01/28/1975
CHARGE: Motion
to revoke probation for
possession of
controlled substance
CT I
GUERRA,
ROY
Male 511 170 lbs
DOB: 09/12/1958
CHARGE: Driving
while intoxicated 3rd
or more
BENITEZ,
ARTURO
Male 510 200 lbs
DOB: 11/18/1955
CHARGE: Evading
arrest, Detention
with vehicle
JENNINGS,
ROBERT MICHAEL
Male 600 160 lbs
DOB: 10/02/1953
CHARGE: Aggravated
assault w/ deadly
weapon CT II
JOHNSON,
JOSEPH III
Male 509 180 lbs
DOB: 08/10/1984
CHARGE: Burglary
habitation CT I and
deadly conduct
discharge firearm CT II
SALLEE,
MICHAEL DENNIS
Male 601 165 lbs
DOB: 12/05/1977
CHARGE: Failure to
appear for possession
controlled substance
FLORES, STEVEN
ANTHONY
Male 510 160 lbs
DOB: 01/15/1986
CHARGE: Delivery
of marijuana
PALESTRANT,
ERNEST JR
Male 508 180 lbs
DOB: 12/12/1984
CHARGE: Failure to
appear for possession
controlled substance
The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act. This is a true and
accurate account as of Monday, May 05, 2014 at 10:55 am and may not be current by the time it is read. Do
not try to apprehend anyone. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Comal County Sheriffs Office
and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant prior to making
an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.
FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF COMAL
COUNTYS MOST WANTED. Callers will remain anonymous.
830.620.3400 - 24-Hour
830.620.3411 - Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm
CRAWFORD,
THOMAS DANIEL
Male 590 140 lbs
DOB: 08/20/1993
CHARGE: Theft
property over $1500
under $20k Elderly
A
R
R
E
S
T
E
D
A
R
R
E
S
T
E
D
A
R
R
E
S
T
E
D
A
R
R
E
S
T
E
D
A
R
R
E
S
T
E
D
A
R
R
E
S
T
E
D
By Gustavo Arellano
Dear Mexican: Im a pocha and my
husband is a gabacho (by the way, we
loved your explanation in your book
on why Mexicans and Irish get along so
wellit really explained a lot about our
marriage). We had the rehearsal dinner
for our wedding catered by one of our
favorite Mexican restaurants.
Two guests from Santa Fe thought
our choice of caterer was hysterical
because the restaurant is called
Sanchos. They explained to us that
in Santa Fe, a sancho is a back door
man. I had never heard this before.
Is sancho a term just in Santa Fe,
or among all Mexicans (except for,
apparently, me)?
Dont Need No Sanchos
Dear Pocha: Sancho as a euphemism
for anal? Thats a new one for meand I
know all the pervert sexual euphemisms out
there, from the infamous Dirty Sanchez to
even the Angry Dragon. Im more familiar
with sancho as Mexican Spanish slang for
the other man in a relationshipin other
words, the man that a husband or boyfriend
knows his mujer is cheating with when said
husband or boyfriend isnt around (the
female equivalent is sancha).
The palabra comes from a Mexican
Spanish farming term for a male animal
raised by a female animal that isnt its
mother, according to the defnition offered
by the Real Academia Espaola (RAE), the
worlds much-fabled custodians of Cervantes
(theyve yet, for instance, recognized the term
chntaro to describe country bumpkins).
Its a perfect description of a cheater:
after all, the woman is taking care of someone
thats not theirs. The mystery for the Mexican,
though, is why sanchowhich is also a
proper name ala Sancho Panzatook on
such a strange meaning. The RAE only says it
comes from sanch, which they say is the call
used to round up pigs. The Mexican thinks the
researcher who wrote that etymology had his
sancha underneath his desk when brushing
up THAT entry
Dear Mexican: Im a white middle-
class guy from a part of the country that
very obviously used to be Mexicoand
might again someday, if some people
there get their way. I dont think it was
any accident that my forebears ended
up where they didIm proudly told we
have a long pattern of being less-white
white people. But that does not mean
that people in my family do not grow up
to wear American Eagle and name their
children things like Harper, Logan, and
Madison. Tey are also white in other
ways: stuck up! When I moved to Denver,
I called my second cousin to hang out. I
was very friendly with most of that side
and our dads grew up together in New
Mexico. Well, we did not hang out because
she thought I was calling up to date her.
Mexican, I am sad. Not sad that
my stuck-up cousin wont hang out
with or date me, but that we went from
being so interesting to so sterile. I
understand white people who wish they
were ethnic, but I dont know that Im
qualifed to get a tattoo of the Virgin.
Some white people shave half their
head and join other white people who
want to be more real or more gutter
or something, but I may not join them
because most of them are also named
Logan and Harper. What can a white
guy do to take a stand for decency and
hang on to whatever is left?
Dear Gabacho: Who says youre not ethnic?
Trying to mack on your second cousin is a VERY
Mexican thing to do! Mexicans encourages
gabachos to be proud of their ethnic heritage,
whether youre a mick, honky, limey, goombah,
squarehead, armo, ruski, or whatever chingada
slur is used against Croats. Thats different than
expressing general white pride, a term loaded
with supremacist overtones, undertones, and
every tone except sense.
Ask the Mexican at themexican@
askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook,
follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano
or ask him a video question at youtube.
com/askamexicano!
ASK A MEXICAN!
!
TXCITIZEN.COM 13
Charlie Vince
Carpe Canis
Carpe Cattus
ADOPT A NEW BEST FRIEND TODAY!
These furry Texans need a home!
Meet them in person at the New Braunfels
Humane Society, at 3353 Morningside Drive,
or call 830.629.5287 for more information.
Help us save a life today!
830.625.5700 happytailspetranch.com
This space generously provided by
Grooming
Boarding
Daycare
Valet Services
Pet Photography
Natural & Organic Treats
Happy Tails Pet Ranch
is a family owned and
operated full service
grooming and boarding
facility located in the
heart of New Braunfels.
Wilma Guapo Chowzers
Lumpkin
Come see us at
5000 Old Hwy 81
in New Braunfels
830-632-5627
GreenTree
Apartments
FREE
Utilities!
That's right, all bills paid!
35
337
337
46
35
35
O
l
d

H
w
y

8
1
A
u
s
t
i
n

>
<

S
a
n

A
n
t
o
n
i
o
N
e
w
B
r
a
u
n
f
e
l
s
Bring in this ad & receive
a FREE application fee!
BAD DESIGN IS
YOUR BUSINESS
Call now. You cant afford not to.
logos business cards brochures photo editing web design advertisements
CITIZEN
830.542.9134 kayla@txcitizen.com
www.NBSTREETS.com
We dig so you dont have to.
14 TX CITIZEN 14 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 15
Your One-Stop Destination
Located in the heart of downtown New Braunfels, the Historic Faust Hotel &
Brewing Company is a one-stop destination offering a variety of house brews
and a full bar and restaurant, as well as guestrooms, suites and an event center
which feature 1920s Art Deco design while incorporating modern amenities.
Find us
Open at 4pm Mon-Thurs & 12pm Fri-Sun
Half-Off One Entree
with purchase of another entree and two drinks.
One coupon per table. Cannot be combined with any other offer. Expires 5/31/14
Huge Play Area for the Kids Live Music Thursday-Sunday
Happy Hour Monday-Friday 3:00-6:30pm
830.629.0777 1724 Hunter Road, New Braunfels
TEX-MEX COCINA Y CANTINA
BEST
OF THE
WURST
2014
The Ultimate Guide to
New Braunfels Favorite Everything!
DEVOUR
THE RESULTS
IN NEXT
WEEK'S ISSUE
THE VOTI NG I S COMPLETE
TXCITIZEN.COM 15
Jacks Back, Baby
I write this as I wait for the premier of 24:
Live Another Day to begin. I expect that the
return of Jack Bauer will retain all of the
excitement and at least some of the ratings
from the past series. No doubt the world (or
at least America) will be threatened, and
only Jack Bauer will be able to save the day.
Explosions, mayhem, and if were lucky, a
little torture will follow.
I surprise myself a little with my affnity for
the 24 series. After all, Im an anti-government
libertarian, and Jack Bauer is a representative
of that government power unleashed. He works
for a clandestine agency that makes no bones
about incredible overreach in surveillance
on American soil. In effect he represents the
government operating wholly outside of its
constitutional boundaries.
I really ought to hate the show, but I love
it all the same.
After careful consideration on the subject,
Ive come to the conclusion that my love for the
show is based almost entirely its ability to drive
the left to apoplexy.
24, which began its run right after
the 9/11/2001 attacks, seems to typify
everything that was wrong with America at
that time from the lefts perspective. They deride
it as jingoistic, paranoid, warmongering.
It insinuated that Americas response to a
national tragedy should be the immediate
application of overwhelming force to our
enemies at home and abroad, as opposed
to careful introspection on the role we play in
anti-American sentiment.
The right saw 24 as jingoistic, paranoid,
warmongering, that insinuated that Americas
response to a national tragedy should be
the immediate application of overwhelming
force to our enemies at home and abroad,
as opposed to careful introspection on the
role we play in anti-American sentiment.
GO AMERICA! HELL YEAH!
In fairness, the left had a point about
how unbridled patriotism and aggressive
pursuit of Americas national interest to
the exclusion of all others could lead to
unchecked authoritarianism. The Patriot
Act and the war in Iraq turned out to be
gifts that kept on giving long beyond their
assumed expiration date. The American
government used the excuse of a real threat
of terrorism to erode personal liberties at
an astounding rate. The left knew that once
we had lost these liberties to a Constitution-
ignoring federal government we would
never get them back.
The left got the opportunity to prove this
when President Obama and his administration
came into offce. This new power, now in
other hands, was quickly institutionalized.
Cries for a return to our pre-9/11 condition
tapered off to a murmur, continued only by
libertarian purists and black-clad, Dr. Marten-
equipped, lefty anarchists.
I have lamented many times in the past
that I, too, was so caught up in the moment
that I all but forgot that liberty lost is almost
never regained, and the only thing worse than
a right wing authoritarian government hell-
bent on pushing national interest-bordering-
on-imperialism is a left-wing authoritarian
government hell-bent on pushing the latest
favor of Marxism. After all, right-wingers
hardly invented authoritarianism.
For me, irritating leftists is enough to
generate my support in most cases, but
there is something to like about 24 for
libertarians in general.
The writers of 24 have gone out of their
way to develop storylines where the only
enemies more dangerous than foreign agents
looking to kill us are maniacal elements from
within, generally within our own government.
It is a spy story after all, and the basic element
of any good spy story is that you cant trust
anyone. Thats why every season has Jack
Bauer going off-grid more often than
an aging hippy in a canola-powered VW
microbus following a Grateful Dead cover
band to sell hemp soap.
And, Jack Bauer, himself, is a sort
of libertarian anti-hero. Every season he
shows that the individual really can make a
difference, particularly if hes willing to adopt
an anarchic view on legal matters. Bauer is
a civil libertarians nightmare, but by refusing
to accept traditional constraints, he can defne
his own morality that allows him to win in the
end. Bauer has his own rules, and he follows
them as stridently as any libertarian.
Last but not least is the thing that makes
Jack Bauer a pop-culture icon: hes the
ultimate patriot. Jack Bauer loves his country
and thats why the left hates him but fy-over
country loves him. All of Bauers actions are
predicated on that simple fact. The bad
guy in Bauers eyes is anyone who seeks to
hurt his country. Bauer places country over
family, self, and sometimes, when absolutely
necessary, over morality.
This patriotism touches most Americans
on a very visceral level, and rightly so. Bauer,
like most of us, recognizes that America is
an idea. Its not a government. Its not our
president. Its not even our Constitution. Its
more than all of that. Its that shining city
on the hill that Reagan spoke of. A fragile
experiment in self governance that has led to
most of the good we have seen in the world
over the last two centuries.
This attitude isnt an adherence to the
my country right or wrong that most on
the left fnd so reprehensible. Our country
can be wrong, it has been wrong, and it
will be wrong again, but correcting those
wrongs is also part of what America is. None
of us wants to stand by and watch as our
country travels down the wrong path, but no
individual wrong invalidates all that is right
with the idea of America.
Thats the type of patriotism that Jack
Bauer exhibits, and its the type of patriotism
that Americans respect.
L
a
st W
o
rd
With Kelly Colby
You can read more from Kelly Colby at yourfrstshrug.
blogspot.com.
2014 BANQUET
Thursday, 15 May
NB Civic Center
Doors Open at 6pm
Smoked Prime Rib
Open Bar
LIVE AUCTION
20 Plus Items
RAFFLES
60 Plus Items
Waterfowl Kit
Upland Kit
Whitetail Kit
GOOSE BANDS
Pick of the Litter
DPMS 5.56 Recon
DU MERCHANDISE
Gun of the Year
Knife of the Year
Print of the Year
Decoy of the Year
Greenwing Corner
KEY DU SUPPLIERS
Benelli BOYT Browning
Buck Ducks Unlimited
DPMS Glock NASCAR
Mossberg Remington
Ruger Savage Stoger
Tanglefree TriStar
YETI Yilidiz
TICKETS
Single-$75 Couple-$125
Corporate Table-$700(10)
Sponsor Table-$900(10)
Contact (830) 629-4216
Available at Door
FRIday
Jeff Vaughn & Friends 5pm
Andrea Marie 9pm
SATURday
Cornell Hurd 9pm
www.rileystavern.com
TAVERN
SINCE
1933
Texas' First Bar After Prohibition! Texas' First Bar After Prohibition!
197 S. Seguin Ave
830.629.0540
197 S. Seguin Ave
830.629.0540
Knives, Holsters,
Purses, Wallets,
Belts, Full Hides,
Custom Rugs
& MORE!
Knives, Holsters,
Purses, Wallets,
Belts, Full Hides,
Custom Rugs
& MORE!
Knives, Holsters,
Purses, Wallets,
Belts, Full Hides,
Custom Rugs
& MORE!
Knives, Holsters,
Purses, Wallets,
Belts, Full Hides,
Custom Rugs
& MORE!
Single Origin Espresso and Brews
Handcrafted Blends Whole Bean Coffee
Pastries Breakfast Tacos Free Wi-Fi
The Gruene Grind Coffee Company is now
2348 Gruene Lake Dr. Suite B 830.643.1309
243 N. Union Ave
830-629-2662 Like us on
New and Vintage Vinyl
and Turntables
Classic Rock Alternative Punk
Reggae - Funk Soul Country
BUY S E L L T R ADE
Ramada Inn
Desk Clerk, able to work various shifts.
Experience preferred.
Fast paced, fun atmosphere.
Please apply in person
at IH-35 @ Hwy 46 (Loop 337)
HELP WANTED
Help Wanted Ads are FREE in the TX Citizen!
Email your help wanted plea to gigs@
txcitizen.com, and well take care of the rest.
830.620.4700
1714 Hunter Rd, Gruene, Texas
830.620.4700
1714 Hunter Rd, Gruene, Texas
M
E
M
O
R
IA
L DAY TE
N
T

S
A
L
E
!
M
a
y

2
4
-
2
6
!
S
A
T
,

S
U
N
,

M
O
N
I
N

G
R
U
E
N
E
!
5

y
e
a
r
a
n
n
i
v
e
r
s
a
r
y
c
e
l
e
b
r
a
t
i
o
n
!
910 Gruene Rd. #3
830.387.4378
grueneroadpharmacy.com

/GrueneRoadPharmacy
We are proud to offer:
Prescription Services, Compounding,
OTC Medication & Durable Medical Equipment
You pay the same copay and get more value!
"Bringing personalized service back to pharmacy."
46
337
E
C
O
M
M
O
N
S
T
H
A
N
Z
R
D
G
R
U
E
N
E
R
D
Buy 1, Get 1
50% Off!
BRING IN THIS COUPON!
1102 N WALNUT AVE THEGOURMETICECO.COM