Professional Documents
Culture Documents
1. Boyfriend/Husband track. She dates these men to find out if they are
potential long-term boyfriends or husbands.
2. Hookups. She is sexually involved with these men. She may or may
not date them, but there is no commitment.
3. Orbiters. She likes the attention from these men, but she is not
considering making any of them her boyfriend or having regular sex
with them. These men might get a makeout now and then, but are
primarily useful for making her feel good about herself and raising her
self-esteem.
4. Just Friends. These guys are securely in the “Let’s Just Be Friends”
zone. Often because they didn’t have the guts to go for it earlier in
their interaction with her, removing their sex appeal. Magic Bullets
has more detail about avoiding this trap.
For example, most men who use Love Systems effectively are highly skilled
at navigating themselves directly into the #2 (Hookup) zone. It’s fun to be
there. Most Love Systems instructors have stories to tell about women
they’re sleeping with texting or calling us while they are on dates with other
guys, asking us to come over after their dates have dropped them off.
By the way – this does NOT mean she is evil or immoral. Yes, this behavior
can be frustrating to men, but a lot of male behavior is frustrating to women
also. It’s actually quite a logical and effective strategy for many women to
meet their needs.
At the same time, she still needs fun, excitement, and, yes, physical
intimacy. She’s learned from experience that if she sleeps with a man early
in an interaction with him, he is likely to treat her as a conquest and lose
interest. So she doesn’t sleep with the guys she’s dating seriously, because
she doesn’t want them to lose interest. Hence the need for dating category
number two.
Generally, the older and more socially experienced the woman, the fewer
the number of “hookup men” she has. For a woman, sleeping with a new
man is risky to her safety, health, and reputation and often less pleasurably
sexually than sleeping with someone with whom she has some comfort. For
all of these reasons, many women prefer to have one regular “sex friend”
than a bunch of random strangers.
But what if you want her to be your girlfriend or wife? Does that mean you
should go down the boyfriend/husband track and try to win her over that
way?
No.
No.
Here’s why:
• It’s pretty easy to move from #2 to #1. And you can bypass the long
courtship period because you’re already sleeping with her.
So, what was the point of all that? Well, there are two lessons.
• Your turf. Invite her to come along to something you are already doing
and knowledgeable about. You will naturally assume the powerful,
dominant position. Contrast A) her coming with you to your friend’s
exhibition where you know the gallery owner to B) your going out with
her and her friends for drinks. In which scenario do you have the
higher status? In which scenario do you have a better opportunity to
make her chase you? In which scenario can you realistically build
better jealousy plotlines? More social proof?
• Logistics. Plan the logistics so that it’s reasonable for her to come to
your house. For example, pick activities near where you live. Or if
you’re playing Frisbee, go home “to change.” Or have her meet you at
your place – that way her car will be there and you know that at some
point you both will need to return back there.
• You. See her at a time when you’ll be at your best. If you’re tired and
stressed on Tuesday afternoons because of your weekly meeting with
your boss, don’t go for happy hour with her on Tuesday. Pick a time
when you’ll be feeling good about yourself, not tired, and
conversational and playful.
As many guys who are getting good at the game know, once you’re on the
date, you’re usually in good shape. The trick is getting her from the date to
your bedroom.
Savoy