White

I am very white: I come from a middle class background and grew up in a cul-de-sac in a
nice, white neighborhood; I went to schools that were mostly white (with a sizable but separate
hispanic population, and have spent most of my time around !ortland, the whitest city in the
"nited #tates$ %y first friendships with people who were not white were with people who acted
e&actly like the other white people I knew, but 'ust happened to look different$ I am very, very
white, and my formative e&periences reinforced the idea that people are generally homogeneous
and variations among individuals are typically skin deep$
!rivilege is a word I have started to hear more and more, particularly as I(ve moved away
from my )-*+ education$ ,here is a term fre-uently used to help people like myself differentiate
our earlier modes of thinking from the realization that racial and cultural differences e&ist and are
ine&tricably tied into our historical conte&ts: conscious$ If you are aware, then you are conscious$
,his word is deceptively simple$
In my own mind, I am aware but not conscious$ I do not mean to imply that I am
intentionally insensitive or have a belief that e&ists in opposition to racial sensitivity$ .or do I
mean to celebrate my whiteness as if it were a badge$
/s I have been educated, both formally and on my own, I have grown to realize the
comple&ity of social dynamics and race$ 0rom what I(ve seen, the language and beliefs centered
around race have rapidly e&panded beyond my intellectual and moral horizons$ !erhaps the time
I(ve spent in the Willamette valley is fittingly symbolic1mountains and hills restricting my line-
of-sight$ With them removed, I find that the land around me stretches on, and on, and on; I am
aware that a massive world e&ists around me, but I hesitate to say I am conscious of the other 2
billion human beings and their respective identities$
Working with the 3regon #tate "niversity 4raduate #chool has provided a number of
tools for understanding the comple&ity of race$ ,he 4raduate #chool celebrates differences, and
is involved with many organizations in and around campus that focus on diversity and tolerance$
0urther, I(ve had the opportunity to interview a number of graduate students who come from
entirely different backgrounds than myself$ ,heir e&periences are fascinating, and the work
they(ve done to succeed is inspiring$ ,hose who are first-generation college students are most
impressive of all$
5et the shadow of my whiteness remains firmly in place, covering many of my
e&periences in somewhat une&pected ways$ With the 4raduate #chool, I see diversity recruitment
in action, am in a culture where the e&pected norm is a celebration of differences, but, and this is
where some of my whiteness is put to the test, I see very vocal groups online, on 0acebook, and
in person that wield the word 6privilege7 regardless of their own cultural backgrounds or
e&periences$
8ike anyone, of any race, with any type of identity, I do not like being told by others who
I am$
%ost of all, I don(t like the conversations surrounding this word$ I am not comfortable
with those who would unhesitatingly make proclamations about who a certain group or race of
people are; I am not comfortable with those who steadfastly ignore the fact that differences
between people do e&ist, and sometimes people are absolutely treated differently because of
them$ I am not comfortable that there does not seem to be a middle ground where the identity of
people other than ourselves is not constantly the topic of discussion$
9ecause it was other people who told me I was white$
,hey are right: I am white, and it would be irresponsible if I did not learn about the
historical conte&ts surrounding race$ ,hough I highly doubt it is the intent of the well-meaning
individuals involved, I have gained some insight into racism by watching people categorize me
by the color of my skin$ I am aware these e&periences are nowhere near what most people from
other backgrounds go through, but they provide insight nonetheless$
:ather than operating as a self-serving 'ustification for why I should not be aware of the
many privileges I was born with, this awareness encourages me to try and learn how to interact
with others in a way that tried to take into account the vast number of things I do not or cannot
know, as I would hope they would do in return$
,here is an an&iety here that I think others like myself are starting to e&perience$ ;ow do
we define racism when, in addition to willful hatred or ignorance, we start to apply it to people
and things that don(t look like they(re using a specific language of tolerance< What happens when
the label of insensitivity is more often applied to what someone does not do, some poorly-
defined standard they did not meet, rather than focusing on sensitivity, on proactive approaches
to understanding and interacting with others<
In short, what happens when the word 6privilege7 is no longer used as a tool to increase
awareness but instead becomes a pe'orative term used to categorize the actions and beliefs of
others<
What happens when you become afraid to ask others if your actions are insensitive
because the very act of asking is in itself insensitive, or -uickly responded to with social-
norming and shaming invectives<
I know that I(m white, and I suspect if you(re reading this you(re white, too$ %ost of the
people I know and interact with are, like myself, white$ #ome are more aware than others, and
some may be truly conscious about how to thoughtfully navigate differences between groups, but
I don(t delude myself into thinking that I(m anywhere near as educated as I need to be to
successfully navigate the full breadth of diversity$ #ome of you who are not white, or who have a
nuanced perspective, may have grown weary of white males wa&ing poetic about whether they
do or do not have privilege$
I find I have a great deal of privilege here: I have the opportunity to consciously learn
how to love others and celebrate differences, to make connections that e&tend beyond race, to
se&uality, disability, and even to differences as seemingly mundane as family background, and
use those connections to understand how human beings can effectively relate to one another$ In
some ways, this may be the greatest privilege of a white male, and it is certainly a privilege that
should be granted to everyone regardless of their differences$