CHEESEWORLD

written by Cheesefrog (Real name censored)

Characters (in order of appearance)

!arrator" the narrator#

Ric$ %arsl&" a '( year)old man who *+st finished college
and is addicted to cheese# Dating###
,ina -arry" a '( year)old woman" who doesn.t +nderstand her
boyfriend" Ric$.s" lo/e for cheese#
Wise Old %armesan" a wise old man who has li/ed since
fore/er#
%rofessor 0delost" a mad man scientist who got stranded in
Cheese World '1 years ago at age 12# He.s (3 now#
Strings" 0delost.s assistant" 45#
6+artirolo Lombardo" an e/ol/ed creation of %rofessor
0delost" created to m+rder Emperor Case+s" who has *ailed
0delost n+mero+s times#
Emperor Case+s" the r+ler of Cheese World" age '5# Engaged
to###
Clara Chedder" Case+s.s fiance&" age '2# Sister of -l+e
Cheddar#
7a8$ier" a ser/ant of Case+s" brother of Chester#
Chester" a *ester and a ser/ant of Case+s#
-l+e Cheddar" a prisoner of CheeseWorld" age 19# -rother of
Clara Cheddar#
) indicates song ending#

!arrator: Hello# ;y name is### Well" yo+ can call me the

!arrator# <.m gonna tell yo+ this really cra8y story abo+t
cheese#
=,he Land Of !onsense=
!arrator: ,here.s a land far away from here
0 land made o+t of cheese#
0 land where yo+ can coo$ yo+rself
0 land where there are no bees
,here.s a land where people brea$ into song
,here.s a land where people thin$ that lactose intolerence
is wrong
,here.s a land where yo+ don.t $now what.s going on
,here.s a land of nonsense in yo+r heart
<n all of o+r hearts" in o+r of o+r so+ls
<n all of o+r ages" from yo+ng to o+r olds
,here.s a land of nonsense waiting
>or yo+ e/ery once in a while
,here.s a land of nonsense waiting
>or yo+ to smile
>ollow me to the land of nonsense
,here yo+ will be free
>ollow me to the land of nonsense
?o+ will be li$e me
>ollow me to the story fore/er
<n the land abo/e
>ollow me to the land of ne/er
,he land of e/ery lo/e#
Where people don.t *+dge yo+ by the way yo+ loo$
Or the way that yo+ so+nd
Where people don.t *+dge yo+ by yo+r lifestyle
Or the way yo+r nose goes .ro+nd
Where people li$e the way yo+ sing and
Where people li$e the way yo+ dance
>ollow me to the land of nonsense#
<n all of o+r hearts" in o+r of o+r so+ls
<n all of o+r ages" from yo+ng to o+r olds
,here.s a land of nonsense waiting
>or yo+ e/ery once in a while
,here.s a land of nonsense waiting
>or yo+ to smile
>ollow me to the land of nonsense#
)
We see Ric$ sitting in front of the ,#@" eating cheese#
,ina sits down neAt to him#
,ina: Hey" Ric$B
Ric$ simply ignores her#
,ina: Ric$" R<CCBBB
Ric$: WhatBBB
=!ot !ow" ,inaD=
,ina: Do yo+ want to go to %arisB
Ric$: !ot now" ,ina
,ina: How abo+t @irginia -eachB
Ric$: !ot now" ,ina
,ina: Want to go to the mallB
Ric$: !ot now" ,inaD
,ina: Watch the president.s speechB
(E F spo$en)
ERic$: !o" <.m too b+sy#
E,ina: Doing whatB
Ric$: Eating cheeseD
,ina: < g+ess that means yo+ don.t care abo+t me
< g+ess that < sho+ld lea/e now
-eca+se all yo+ want to do is
St+dy the enhanced mil$ of a cowD
Ric$: !o" < do" < do" < do care abo+t yo+
,ina: ,hen why won.t we go to the storeB
Ric$: -eca+se for me that wo+ld be a boreD
,ina: So yo+ don.t care abo+t HawaiiB
Ric$: ,hat.s not it" ,inaD
,ina: Don.t care abo+t drin$ing teaB
Ric$: ,hat.s not it" ,inaD
,ina: ,hen what do yo+ want to doB Oh" < seeD !othing"
since yo+.re eating
ERic$: Listen
,ina: !othing" since yo+.re eating
ERic$: !o" <))))
,ina: !othing" since yo+.re eating cheese#
)
,he song ends" and ,ina is abo+t to lea/e" b+t Ric$ stops
her#
Ric$: < heard that 7amaica is a pretty neat place to
/isit###
,ina smiles" and gets eAcited
,ina: < ha/e to go pac$D
!arrator: So now" after their song arg+ment" Richard %arsl&
and ,ina -arry are going on a trip to 7amaica### Or so they
thin$#
We now see ,ina wal$ing thro+gh the metal scanner at the
airport#
!ow we see Ric$" and it beeps#
,he sec+rity g+ards come in and ta$e a $nife o+t of Ric$.s
poc$et#
Ric$: Gh" it.s a cheese $nife#
He gi/es it bac$ to him#
!ow we see Ric$ and ,ina wal$ing into the airplane#
,ina: Oh" this is so f+nD We.re going to ha/e so m+ch f+n"
Ric$D
Ric$: ?eah" so m+ch f+n# <.m h+ngry# Hey" waitressD
We see the waitress wal$ing down the aisle#
Ric$: Can yo+ gi/e +s some pi88a" pleaseB
Waitress: S+re" what $indB
Ric$: Cheese# ,wo for me" and two for my girlfriend" ,ina#
Waitress: O$ay#
She wal$s off" then comes bac$ and gi/es them the pi88a#
Ric$ messily scoffs it down#
C+tting into another scene" it.s night and e/eryone in the
plane is sleeping" eAcept ,ina" who is staring o+t the
window#
,ina: Oh" Ric$ and < are going to ha/e so m+ch f+nD Wait###
did < pac$ my toothbr+shB Oh" who caresD ;aybe we will e/en
get ma))))
We hear a cr+nching so+nd# <t so+nds deadly#
,ina: What was thatB
0nother cr+nch" then the plane flies +p (*+st act li$e it
is) and starts to spin as ,ina screams#
,ina: 0hD ,he plane is crashingD We.re gonna dieD
=Honna Die=
,ina: ,he plane is spinning and < don.t $now why
(0nother cr+nch)
< hope we.re not gonna lose o+r fly
While <.m p+lling on Ric$y.s tie
< reali8e that we.re gonna dieD
We.re gonna die" die" die" die" die" die" die" die" die"
die" die" die" dieD
We.re gonna die" die" die" die" die" die" die" die" die"
die" die" die" dieD
We.re gonna die" we.re gonna die
We.re gonna die" we.re gonna die
We.re gonna die" die" die" die" die#
Cr+nching noises are going thro+gh my ears
,he machines m+st be brea$ing
Why" oh why did < bring Ric$y hereB
< sho+ld ha/e left him with the cheese he was ta$ingD
We.re gonna die" die" die" die" die" die" die" die" die"
die" die" die" dieD
We.re gonna" die" die" die" die" die" die" die" die" die"
die" die" die" die
%assengers: Cr+nch cr+nch
%eople are starting to wa$e +p
%assengers: Spinning spinning
%eople are starting to cryD
%assengers: Cr+nch cr+nch
%eople are starting to reali8e
,hat we.re gonna dieD
We.re gonna die" die" die" die" die" die" die" die" die"
die" die" die" dieD
We.re gonna" die" die" die" die" die" die" die" die" die"
die" die" die" die
We.re gonna die" We.re gonna die" We.re gonna die" We.re
gonna die" we.re gonna die die die die die#
E/eryone falls down to ma$e it loo$ li$e the plane has
crashed#
)
!arrator: ,he plane has crashed# WhereB 0nother planetB
0nother landB 0nother galaAyB Only time can tell# 0nd that
time is right now#
We fade o+t for ( seconds" then we fade in to see a
bea+tif+l yellow land with tall trees and millions of
b+shes# <t loo$s li$e the middle of nowhere# E/erything"
eAcept the lea/es of the trees" are yellow#
!ow we see the crashed plane#
,ina" dragging Ric$ o/er her sho+lder" wal$s o+t of the
plane and is greeted by Wise Old %armesan" who pops +p o+t
of the b+shes# We.ll call him %arm" *+st for short#
%arm: < am the wise old %armesan# Welcome to Cheese World#
Ric$ wa$es +p
Ric$: Did somebody say cheeseB
=Cheese World !ational 0nthem=
%arm: We ha/e e/erything here in Cheese World
>rom good to great to ma$es yo+ h+rl
-+t the taste that yo+ can.t taste will ma$e yo+ ,W<RLD
Ric$: WowD
,he b+shes mo/e away and we see the bea+tif+l land of
Cheese World" stores" ho+ses" lots of trees###
%arm: E/erything is made of cheese" as yo+ can see
>rom o+r pencils" co+ches" chairs and wide ,@s
So" listen to +s
,ina: GsB
%arm: Listen clearlyD
0 b+nch of Cheeseworldians start r+nning +p from the world
to near)behind %arm#
Cheeseworldians: ?o+.re not allowed to eat +s" b+t yo+ can
lo/e +s in Cheese WorldD
%arm: CheeseworldD
Cheeseworldians: ?o+.re not allowed to $ill +s" b+t yo+ can
be abo/e +s in Cheese WorldD
,ina: CheeseworldB
%arm: So rip off yo+r belt of insanity" and strap on yo+r
belt of dignity
Cheeseworldians: -eca+se we $now that yo+.ll admire +s in
Cheese WorldD
%arm: We ha/e a pool"
Cheeseworldians: We ha/e a pooooolD
%arm: 0nd a %i88a %lace
Cheeseworldians: 0nd a pi88a pla)aceD
%arm: We thin$ it.s cool
,hat we.re being /isited by the h+man raceD
0nd we.ll gi/e yo+
Cheeseworldians: 0nything yo+ waaaant
%arm: Gnless yo+ want to
Cheeseworldians (leaning in): H+hB
%arm: Gnless yo+ want to
Cheeseworldians (leaning in): H+hB
%arm: Gnless yo+ want to eat +sD
Cheeseworldians: -eca+se yo+.re not allowed to eat +s" b+t
yo+ can lo/e +s in Cheese WorldD
?o+.re not allowed to $ill +s" b+t yo+ can be abo/e +s in
Cheese WorldD
So rip off yo+r belt of insanity
0nd strap on yo+r belt of dignity
-eca+se we $now that yo+ will lo/e +s
We $now that yo+ will lo/e +s
We $now that yo+ will lo/e +s in Cheese WorldD
)
Ric$: WowD Hold +p" let me ta$e a pic for my screensa/er
He ta$es his phone o+t of his poc$et
Ric$: E/eryone say CHEESED
Cheeseworldians: CHEESED
,he camera flashes
One Cheeseworldian: <.; -L<!DD <.; -L<<<<!DD
He faints
%arm: Sh+t +p" 7+ne# Sorry" he.s /ery dramatic# 0nyway" <
g+ess < sho+ld gi/e yo+ g+ys a to+r# >ollow me#
We switch to the %arm wal$ing in a small town with Ric$ and
,ina#
%arm: ,his town was b+ilt in 2III by me#
Ric$: How are yo+ so oldB
%arm: -eca+se anything can happen in o+r world# Here is o+r
famo+s resta+rant" made from the finest bl+e cheeses of
>rance# Don.t eat it#
Ric$ (whispering to ,ina as he goes on): Oh my god" ,ina"
this is so tempting###
,ina: Don.t eat anything" Ric$" rememberB
%arm: Oh" yes" the emperor is getting married tomorrow#
7+st so yo+ $now" nobody li$es the emperor# He stole my
land# He b+llied +s" he forces +s to wor$ for him# E/eryone
*+st pretends to li$e him" b+t nobody really does#
,ina: Oh# ,hat.s nice#
%arm: Well" see yo+ aro+nd# ,here are some free apartments
aro+nd the corner#
Ric$: >ree apartmentsBBB ,ina" this is better than 0mericaD
,ina: Ric$" we ha/e to find a way to get o+t of here# <
ha/e a really bad feeling abo+t this#
Ric$: !othing to worry abo+t# !ice place" nice people" nice
songs###
,ina: < hate the songs# ,his play is terrible#
Ric$: !ow" ,ina" no need to brea$ the fo+rth wall# Come on"
let.s go#
!arrator: So" now yo+ thin$ yo+ ha/e met all of the
characters# ,hat.s where yo+.re wrong# We now meet
%rofessor 0delost" who is b+ilding a### shall < say"
creat+re" and his assistant" String Cheese#
0s they wal$" we 8oom into a tree" then see a dar$
labratory" no yellow is seen in the walls or the machines#
,he only yellow is Strings" the Cheeseworldian assistant of
%rofessor 0delost" a h+man#
%rofessor 0delost: !ow" Strings" hand me the wrench#
Strings: ?es sir" the wrench#
He gi/es it to him" and he +ses it#
%rofessor 0delost: Hand me the hammer#
Strings: ?es sir" the hammer#
%rofessor 0delost: Hand me the wrench
Strings: ?es sir"the wrench#
%rofessor 0delost: Stop that#
Strings: ?es sir" the#### Wait" what.s a stop thatB
%rofessor 0delost (hitting Strings n+mero+s times in the
head with the wrench): <.m telling yo+ ,O S,O% ,H0, ?OG
CHEDD0RHE0DD
He calms down#
%rofessor 0delost: O$ay" < am finally finished# Strings"
%GLL ,HE LE@ERD
He does
%rofessor 0delost: Say hello to 6+artirolo LombardoD
,he bed sha$es" and a song starts that so+nds li$e this
=6+ar.s ,heme=
6+artirolo Lombardo" we.ll call him 6+ar" rises o+t of the
bed#
6+ar: <.m ali/eD <.m ali/eD < can.t belie/e <.m ali/eD
%rofessor 0delost: He.s ali/eD He.s ali/eD What else co+ld
a scientist stri/e forB
Strings and 0delost: ;ore than his creation coming aliiii/eD
6+ar: <t was so dar$ in no whereD
0nd it is m+ch brighter right now"
<t co+ld be better somewhere
Something co+ld happen somehowD
Strings: ,oo bad yo+ loo$ li$e a piece of crap
%rofessor 0delost: Strings" sh+t yo+r mo+th
Or else <.ll remo/e it and apply it to a treeD
6+ar: <.m ali/e" <.m ali/e
%rofessor 0delost: < can.t beli/e yo+.re ali/eD
6+ar: <.m ali/e" <.m ali/e
Strings: < can.t belie/e yo+r ali/eD
0delost" 6+ar" and Strings: 0li/e" 0li/e" We can.t belie/e
we.re ali/eD
,hey start dancing
0delost: Step step" *+mp *+mp" spin aro+nd +pside)down
Strings: 0fter
0delost: What co+ld
6+ar: Happen
Strings: -efore
0delost: What will
6+ar: Happen
0ll: 0fter what co+ld happen" somewhereD
)
%rofessor 0delost: So here.s the plan# < ha/e created yo+
with the brains of millions of dead people and
Cheeseworldians# 299 of which were the smartest people in
the world# 299 which were the smartest m+rderers in the
world# 0nd then < miAed all the brains +p" and p+t them
into yo+#
Strings: With a hint of salt#
0delost: So what yo.re going to do is m+rder the emperor.s
fiancee" Clara Cheddar" and the emperor" who has *ailed and
threatened to $ill me" many times" and also ca+sed me to
get stranded here on this terrible place years ago# Gnless
< meet a bea+tif+l woman and change my mind" which < do+bt
will happen#
6+ar: ?es" father#
%rofessor 0delost (smiling e/ily): %erfect#
!arrator: So" now" %rofessor 0delost has b+ilt his
creat+re" who is named 6+artirolo Lombardo" b+t called 6+ar
for short# 0s yo+ co+ld see" Cheese World is a weird place#
We now see Ric$ and ,ina going into their apartment#
,ina: Ric$" this is s+ch an awesome placeD ?o+ were right
all alongD
Ric$: ?o+ were the one who wanted to go somewhereD
,ina: < g+ess so# Hey" let.s see what.s on ,@D
,ina t+rns on the ,@ and we see a news reporter on the
screen#
Reporter: Remember" the emperor is getting married in '
daysD
,hey switch to see the same thing o/er and o/er" b+t on
different channels#
,ina: Ric$" e/erything here is abo+t the emperorD
Ric$: H+h# Let.s *+st go to sleep#
,hey do as c+rtains close#
,he !arrator steps o+t#
!arrator: !ow" yo+ see" the emperor is getting married" and
e/eryone is reJ+ired to go# <ncl+ding %rofessor 0delost"
Strings" and his creationK 6+artirolo Lombardo" 6+ar for
short# Who will contin+e their plan# Gntil 0delost.s theory
of a bea+tif+l woman comes tr+e# Watch on#
,he neAt day" we see Ric$ wa$ing ,ina +p as the c+rtains
open#
,ina (wa$ing +p): WhatB
Ric$: <t.s time for the wedding of the emperor# Remember"
we.re reJ+ired to goB
,ina (wiping her eyes): O$ay#
We see Ric$ and ,ina wal$ing +p to the castle# ,here.s a
long line#
,ina: Why do people ha/e to be admitted in if it.s reJ+iredB
Ric$: < ha/e no idea# <.m new here" ,ina#
Some people go in front of Ric$ and ,ina
Ric$: HeyD
,ina: ?o+ *+st went in front of +sD
Cheeseworldian L2: <t.s allowed" st+pid#
Cheeseworldian L': ?eahD
Ric$: Sho+ldn.t be#
Cheeseworldian L2: ,hin$ we careB
Cheeseworldian L': ?eahD
,ina: !o" we.re *+st /oicing o+r opinionsD
Cheeseworldian L2: Well" that won.t get yo+ anywhere
Cheeseworldian L': ?eahD
Ric$: Gh" that.s nice#
Cheeseworldian L2: Sh+t +p#
Cheeseworldian L': ?eahD
0ll of a s+dden" e/eryone starts r+shing in#
We see inside of the castle" bright orange and red" long
red carpet" yellow flooring and wall####ing#
We see a short man named 7a8$ier wal$ +p with his sister"
Chester#
7a8$ier: Hello" and welcome to the master.s castle# < am
his ser/ant" 7a8$ier" and this is my sister" Chester# We
are both siblings" born in))))
,he Emperor comes +p and $ic$s him off stage
Case+s: !obody caresD
,he =a+dience= cheers#
Chester (sadly): Here he is" the great emperor#
Case+s: 0nd here.s my fiance&" Clara CheddarD Come in ClaraD
Clara comes in#
Case+s: Say hiD
Clara stares at the a+dience#
Case+s: Oh" she.s *+st shy# 0nyway" <t.s now for me to sing
a songD
He h+ddles with Chester and 7a8$ier" then they start
singing###
=;e=
Case+s: When life gets yo+ down
!o" don.t frown
<f yo+ don.t got no bird feeder
When life gets yo+ down
,+rn that frown +pside down
0nd thin$ abo+t yo+r leader
Which is me
Cheeseworldians: Which is yo+D
Case+s: Which is meD
Cheeseworldians: Which is yo+D
Case+s: 7+st thin$ abo+t me#
7+st thin$ abo+t me###
Cheeseworldians: Spin aro+nd
Ho +pside down
7+mp in place" slap yo+r face for yo+r leaderD
Case+s: ;eD
Cheeseworldians: Spin aro+nd
Ho +pside down
7+mp in place" slap yo+r face for yo+r leaderD
Chester: When yo+ don.t ha/e a choice
Choosing between yo+r life
?o+ need to $now
,he one who cares .bo+t yo+ mostD
<f yo+ need a helping hand
<f yo+ don.t e/en +nderstand
?o+ need to always remember yo+r leaderD
Case+s: When life gets yo+ down
,+rn that frown +pside down
0nd thin$ abo+t yo+r leader
Which is me
Cheeseworldians: Which is yo+D
Case+s: Which is meD
Cheeseworldians: Which is yo+D
Case+s: 7+st thin$ abo+t me)e)e" who is me" who is me
7+st thin$ abo+t me
Cheeseworldians: Spin aro+nd
Ho +pside down
7+mp in place" slap yo+r face for yo+r leaderD
Case+s: ;eD
Cheeseworldians: Spin aro+nd
Ho +pside down
7+mp in place" slap yo+r face for yo+r leaderD
7a8$ier: When yo+ ha/e lots of tro+ble
!o" do not ma$e it a do+ble
7+st pic$ +p some r+bble
0nd p+t them o+t
,o ma$e the face
of yo+r leaderD
Cheeseworldians: Spin aro+nd
Ho +pside down
7+mp in place" slap yo+r face for yo+r leaderD
Case+s: ;eD
Cheeseworldians: Spin aro+nd
Ho +pside down
7+mp in place" slap yo+r face for yo+r leaderD
Case+s: Let me here yo+ say it
Cheeseworldians: C 0 S E G SD
C 0 S E G SD
C 0 S E G SD
Case+s: Wo)ah)ah)wo)ah)ah)ah
Cheeseworldians: C 0 S E G S
C 0 S E G S
C 0 S E G S
C0SEGSD
Cheeseworldians: 7+st spin aro+ndD
Ho +pside down
7+mp in place" slap yo+r face for yo+r leaderD
Case+s: ;eD
Cheeseworldians: Spin aro+nd
Ho +pside down
7+mp in place" slap yo+r face for yo+r leaderD
Case+s: ;eD
)
,ina: <.ll be right bac$" < gotta +se the bathroom#
0s she lea/es" we see 6+ar wal$ing in with 0delost li$e a
robot as e/eryone cheers for the song#
,hey p+sh thro+gh people who smile at them and stand beside
Ric$# 6+ar gi/es Ric$ a glass#
Ric$: What is thisB
6+ar: ,his is Hydrogen HydroAide" commonly referred to as
H'O" or water#
Ric$: Oh" than$s#
6+ar goes bac$" and tal$s to 0delost#
0delost: Did yo+ gi/e him the <ns+lt 7+iceB
6+ar: ?es" father#
0delost: Hood# -eca+se" now that < saw that eAceptionally
bea+tif+l woman" < ha/e changed my plans# 0 lot#
He ma$es an e/il smile#
Case+s: O$ay" who here li$ed my songB
E/eryone claps and says =Woo=
0fter it dies down" Ric$ says###
Ric$: < didn.t#
E/eryone gasps and ma$es space for Ric$#
,here.s a long silence#
Case+s: What did yo+ sayB
Ric$: < hated yo+r song# <t so+nded li$e a dying###
E/eryone leans in
Ric$: >rog#
E/eryone gasps#
Ric$: ,hat.s what < thin$ of yo+r song" and here.s what <
thin$ of yo+D
He goes +p on stage and starts p+shing Case+s" b+t then his
cheese $nife falls o+t of his poc$et" and e/eryone gasps#
0delost: %erfect# E/erything is going perfectly#
He loo$s at his watch" then t+rns it and lea/es#
E/eryone r+ns o+t with 0delost" eAcept a cop who arrests
Ric$#
Cop: ?o+.re coming with me#
=-LEW <,=
Cop: Oh" yo+ really blew it
?o+ really blew it
?o+ had yo+r chance" and yo+ blew it
?o+ really blew it
?o+ really blew it
?o+ really" really" really really blew itD
)
Ric$: ###<s that itB
Cop: ?es" come with meD
Ric$: Well" that s+c$s#
,hey lea/e#
,ina comes in#
,ina: H+hB Where is e/eryoneB
0delost (dressed to loo$ li$e Ric$) comes in
0delostMRic$: <.m here# ?o+ missed e/erything#
,ina: Oh" o$ay# Let.s go#
0delost smiles#
0delost: Hey" why don.t we go on a SHO%%<!H S%REEB
!arrator: 7+st so yo+ $now" ,hat.s not the Ric$ %arsl& yo+
$now# <n fact" it.s not Ric$ %arsl& at all# <t.s %rofessor
7# 0delost" who" yo+ sho+ld $now" now has a cr+sh on poor
,ina -arry# ?es# 0delost is pretending to be Ric$#
We see %rofessor 0delostM>a$e Ric$ and ,ina in a clothes
store# ,ina is pic$ing o+t clothes and showing 0delostM>a$e
Ric$#
=Shopping Spree=
,ina: How does this loo$B < thin$ it loo$s greatD
0delost: < thin$ <./e fo+nd a color < hateD
!ow we see them in a shoe store
,ina: How abo+t these shoesB
0delost: ?ellow is a d+ll color
,ina: Oh" who caresB Watch it get d+llerD
Shopping spreeee" <t.s a shopping spreeeeD
We.re shopping aro+nd in a shopping spree#
,ina: Let.s get some food" < feel so h+ngry
0delost: < thin$ < want something witho+t cheese
,ina: What do yo+ meanB < tho+ght yo+ lo/ed cheese
0delost: < do" b+t e/erything here is cheese
Here is cheese" Here is cheese
E/erything here is cheese" so <.m $ind of getting tired of
it
,ina: < thin$ yo+.re *+st going thro+gh a cra8y phase#
0delost: Let.s go to the *ewelry store# < co+ld get a
nec$lace for yo+
Or maybe a diamond ring
,ina: < don.t see how yo+ co+ld get one
<t won.t be /al+able" since it.s made of cheeseD
-oth: Shopping spreeeeeeeee" Shopping spreeeeeeeee"
Shopping spreeeeeeee" We.re going on a shopping spree
0delost: 0 whatB
,ina: Shopping spreeeeeeeee" shopping spreeeeeeee" shopping
spreeeeee" We.re going on a shopping spreeD
)
!arrator: Welcome to the holding cell# ,his is where
Emperor Case+s $eeps the people who ha/e been#### Shall we
say" badB 0nyway" another =criminal=
He does the J+otation sign
!arrator: !amed -l+e Cheddar" older brother of Clara
Cheddar" is in *ail for ref+sing to gi/e the wedding his
blessing" since his parents were $illed years ago#
We see -l+e getting thrown into the *ail with Ric$#
-l+e: What yo+ in forB
Ric$: < ha/e no idea# ;y mind is blan$#
-l+e: ,hat.s what they all say# < called the Emperor a
poopyhead beca+se < didn.t want him to marry my sister#
He p+ts his arm o+t#
-l+e: -l+e Cheddar#
Ric$ ta$es and sha$es it#
Ric$: Ric$ %arsl&
0 cop comes in and says###
Cop: Ric$ %arsl&B 0re yo+ Ric$ %arsl&B Ric$ %arsl&" the
emperor wo+ld li$e to see yo+#
!arrator: !ow" this is my fa/orite part of the mo/ie# <.m
getting so eAcitedD EeeeeeeD Calm down" !arrator" Calm
down# ?o+.re s+pposed to be calmer#
We see Emperor Case+s in a large chair with Chester and
7a8$ier at the sides#
Case+s: Hello" Richard#
Ric$: Gh" hi#
Case+s: < $now what yo+ did#
Ric$: < didn.t do 0!?,H<!HD
Case+s: L<ESD ?OG## ?OG#### ?OG ;OLD? CHEESES,<CCD
Chester and 7a8$ier gasp" then after a long silence" Case+s
sings###
=,he -loody Emperor=
Case+s: Hot ca+ght with a $nife
Well it has happened before
,he secret to life
0in.t o+t that doorD
(He points to the door)
Case+s: Can.t yo+ see
,hat yo+ can.t h+rt me
,hat <.m almost immortalB
Chester and 7a8$ier: <t.s ,r+eD <t.s ,r+eD
Case+s: So don.t gi/e me a temper
<.m the bloody emperor
Chester and 7a8$ier: <t.s ,r+eD <t.s ,r+eD
Case+s: So don.t gi/e me a temper
<.m the bloody emperor
< see yo+ tryna get to my face
-efore yo+ do" <.ll wipe o+t the h+man raceD
Ric$: < wasn.t trying to do anythingD
Chester: ?o+ sho+ld thin$ twice
7a8$ier: -efore messing with the $ingD
0ll: Can.t yo+ see
,hat yo+ can.t h+rt me
,hat <.m almost immortalB
Case+s: So don.t gi/e me a temper
<.m the bloody emperor
Chester and 7a8$ier: <t.s ,r+eD <t.s ,r+eD
Case+s: So don.t gi/e me a temper
<.m the bloody emperor
)
Ric$: < don.t care#
Chester: Do yo+ care abo+t my nameB
7a8$ier: Or mineB
Ric$: Oh god" another song#
=Chester the 7ester=
Chester: ;y name is Chester
Chester the 7ester
?o+ will see me ma$e any gest+re ?o+ co+ld thin$ of
7a8$ier: ;y name is 7a8$ier" 7a8$ier the b+tler" < don.t
$now what else rhymes with 7a8$ier
-oth: We are brother and sister
We ne/er lea/e eachother.s side
7a8$ier: She.s a miss
Chester: 0nd he.s a mister
-oth: and yo+ sho+ld $now that yo+ cannot hide from +sD
?o+ tried to $ill o+r $ing
0s a sacrifice
,o him" +s" yo+
and hairliceD
Chester: <.m Chester" the *ester
?o+ better not mess with me
7a8$ier: <.m 7a8$ier
and <.ll sa/e)e)her
<f yo+ try to to+ch her
Chester: >aceD
7a8$ier: >aceD
Chester: >aceD
7a8$ier: >aceD
-oth: >aaaaace####
Chester: ;y name is Chester" Chester the 7ester" and <.m
gonna play a tric$ on yo+
7a8$ier: ;y name is 7a8$ier" and what she *+st said is
/ery" /ery
-oth: ,r+e#
)
Ric$: Wow" < don.t care e/en more#
Case+s: ?o+ $now what" Ric$B < don.t li$e yo+r attit+de#
%R<SO!" N9 ?E0RSD
Ric$ (as the police ha+l him off): WH0,BBB %leaseD
!arrator: ;eanwhile" a cl+eless ,ina is off shopping with
%rofessor 0delost" whom she thin$s is a changed Richard
%arsl&# !ow" what she is abo+t to eAperience will scar her
for life# Or not for life" b+t for abo+t '9 more lines of
dialog+e and a song or two#
We see >a$e Ric$ and ,ina wal$ing aro+nd the mall#
,ina: Oh" Ric$# Do yo+ $now how m+ch < lo/e yo+B
0delost: ?es#
,ina: Hood#
We see a Cheeseworldian loo$ at 0delost" drop his bags" and
sho+t###
Cheeseworldian L1: Oh my godD <t.s the man who tried to
$ill o+r great Case+sD
Cheeseworldian L3: ?o+ $now what we sho+ld do now" h+hB
Lots of Cheeseworldians: C<LL H<;D
,hey trample him" and we see him on the gro+nd#
,ina: R<CCD !OD
0delost: ,here.s something < need to tell yo+" ,ina#
<.m#### !ot#####
He dies#
,ina cries" then wal$s away#
,he c+rtains close" and the narrator wal$s +p#
!arrator: !ow" this neAt scene might be a bit conf+sing"
b+t ,ina and Ric$ are seperated witho+t $nowing the tr+e
forms of eachother# Ric$ is in *ail" not $nowing that
0delost has framed him and died along the way" and ,ina is
crying in her bed" thin$ing that poor Richard has died"
when it wasn.t e/en him# <t was 0delost# Oh yeah" yo+
already $now that# Watch on#
and then open to re/eal -l+e Cheddar and Ric$ in *ail with
a large seperation in the middle# ,ina is in her bed crying
on the neAt side" and a song starts#
=Lights O+t=
,ina: 0s days go by
< wonder why
Why the morning doesn.t last fore/er
< wo+ld cry" b+t <.d rather die
>rom the pain that these past days ha/e gi/en me
Ric$: Why" oh why
Does the s$y ha/e to close its mo+thB
< g+ess it.s *+st the way the world wor$s####
-oth: -eca+se for now" it is lights o+t#
,he day is gone" the dar$ness has o/ercome +s
We sho+ld ha/e won" b+t for now it is lights o+t#
-oth in +nison: (Ric$ says)
< wo+ld cry" b+t <.d rather die
>rom the pain that these past days ha/e gi/en me
(,ina says)
Why" oh why
Does the s$y ha/e to close its mo+thB
< g+ess it.s *+st the way the world wor$s####
,ina: So close yo+r eyes
Ric$: 0nd say good night
-oth: -eca+se for now it is lights o+t
-eca+se for now it is lights o+t
-eca+se for now it is lights o+t#
,he c+rtains close#
!arrator: ?o+ may be wondering why the c+rtains $eep
closing# ,hat.s beca+se we want to ma$e the neAt set" so be
patient#
0fter the set is set" We see Ric$" -l+e Cheddar" and lots
of other people eating l+nch in *ail#
-l+e: Ggh" < hate *ail#
Ric$: So do <#
-l+e: Hey" Ric$" < ha/e a plan to get o+t
(He whispers something to Ric$)
Ric$: O$ay#
Ric$ stands on the l+nch table#
Ric$: Hey g+ys" isn.t this boring" *+st sitting here
eatingB We need a little *amD Hit it" -l+eD
(-l+e starts playing an electric g+itar as the neAt song
comes on)
=>ire Song=
R<CC: -+rning b+rning b+rning b+rning b+rning down the ho+se
EAploding the mo+se
R+n away from it before it catches yo+
<t.s a fire song
<t.s a fire song
Do yo+ e/en $now what.s going onB
Do yo+ e/en $now what.s wrongB
Do yo+ $now what.s happening
<n the (boom boom)
>ire song#
-LGE: <t.s b+rning" it.s b+rning" Loo$ at the ho+se it.s
b+rning
<n a few seconds there.ll be nothing there
<t.s t+rning" it.s t+rning
O+r whole life is t+rning
0nd yo+ don.t e/en care
0bo+t the
-O,H: >ire song
<t.s a fire song
Do yo+ e/en $now what.s going onB
Do yo+ e/en $now what.s wrongB
Do yo+ $now what.s happening in the
>ire song#
)
,he prisoners get mad#
Ric$: -l+e#
-l+e: ?eaB
Ric$: RGGGG!D
,hey r+n and hit the fence" which $noc$s down#
-l+e: <f < $new###
H+ard: C0,CH ,HE;D
,he g+ards start r+nning after them with the prisoners#
Ric$ and -l+e hide" ca+sing the prisoners to r+n to nowhere#
-l+e: We lost .em#
We see Chester and 7a8$ier wal$ing#
Ric$: H+ys" < need yo+r helpD
Chester: We do too# ,he emperor *+st said that he.s gonna
p+t +s in prisonD
Ric$: Do yo+ $now where ,ina -arry isB
Chester: ?esD < *+st saw herD
Chester r+ns offstage" then comes bac$ with her#
,ina: Ric$BBB ?o+.re ali/eD
Ric$: ,inaD We.re getting o+t of hereD
,ina: -+t howB
Ric$: < reali8ed something on my trip to prison# Well" -l+e
told me on his b+n$ last night# E/eryone here lo/es the
emperor" b+t it.s not real lo/e ) <t.s fear# ,hey.re afraid
to say what they feel" so what we need to do is help them
do soD
,ina: Didn.t the wise old cheese g+y tell +s that alreadyB
Ric$: >ollow meD
,he c+rtains close#
!arrator: ,his is other fa/orite scene# < lo/e it so m+chD
0lso" as yo+ can see" <.m not yo+r a/erage !arrator# <.m
*+st some random weirdo who a+ditioned for this role as a
narrator# -ig glasses" long pants# ?ea# 0nyway" let.s go to
the neAt scene#
,he c+rtains open re/ealing Emperor Case+s sitting at his
chair with Chester and 7a8$ier neAt to him standing#
Scratch that" Clara Cheddar is in a chair beside him#
Case+s: 0h" Clara Case+s" isn.t that an ama8ing nameB
Clara nods#
Cnoc$ on the door#
Case+s: Come inD
0 b+nch of Cheeseworldians come in#
Cheeseworldian L2: Hey" Case+sD We.re tired of yo+r anticsD
0ll: ?eahD
Case+s: WhatB < tho+ght yo+ li$ed meB
Cheeseworldian L': !o" we hate yo+ AND what yo+ did to this
landD
Case+s: What do yo+ meanB ,his is my landD
Wise Old %armesan steps o+t
%arm: !ot tr+e# < b+ilt this land way bac$ when#
Case+s: -+t### b+t###
6+artirolo Lombardo steps o+t
6+ar: ?o+r life is o/er" Case+s# Say goodbyeD
Case+s: ChesterB 7a8$ierD HelpB
,hey sha$e their heads#
=Honna Die (reprise)=
6+ar: ?o+.re gonna die" yo+.re gonna die" yo+.re gonna die
die die die die die die ?o+.re gonna die" yo+.re gonna die"
yo+.re gonna die die die die die
%eople are gonna be happy
!obody.s going to cry
%eople are gonna be happy
,hat yo+ are gonna dieD
)
Case+s starts to r+n" b+t 6+ar +ses his laser /ision to
blast him#
Clara: !oD
6+ar starts to blast her#
-l+e (*+mping in front): !oD ;y sisterD
6+ar: Oops" sorry#
6+ar r+ns o+t" and *+mps at the last step to loo$ li$e he.s
flying#
Strings steps +p#
Strings: <.ll dri/e my former lab partner.s teleportation
de/ice to transport yo+ all bac$ home#
Ric$: O$ay# -l+eB ClaraB ChesterB 7a8$ierB Want to comeB
-l+e: S+re
Clara nods
Chester: Gh" maybe
7a8$ier: O$ayD
Ric$: How abo+t yo+" %armB
%arm: !o" <.ll stay here and be a correct emperor for my
people#
Ric$: O$ayD Let.s go" g+ysD
=Welcome Home=
Ric$: What a cra8y day" today was
<t was not what we eApected
,ina: ;aybe it was a scheme
,o get +s all infected
-oth: Who cares anyway" We.re getting o+t of this dome
Loo$ on the bright side" we are going home
Ric$" ,ina" -l+e" Clara" Chester" and 7a8$ier hold hands
and sing
R,-CC7: Welcome homeD
Welcome homeD
,o the place where we belong
that ma$es +s sing this song
Welcome home" oh welcome homeD
We may ret+rn some dayD
-l+e: <.m ne/er going bac$
Chester: -+t e/en so" we all $now
7a8$ier: ,hat we.re ret+rning to a place we./e ne/er been
beforeD
0ll: Welcome home" welcome home"
,ina: <.m gonna tell my mom abo+t all of this on the phone
0ll: Welcome home" welcome home
,o the place where we belong
that ma$es +s sing this song
,o the place that we will stay
We lo/e it anyway
Welcome home" oh welcome homeD
Welcome home" oh welcome homeD
Welcome home###
Ric$: We.re going bac$ home" we.re going to the place where
we belong#
)
,he c+rtains close" and the !arrator steps o+t#
!arrator: 0nd that.s the end of my tale# Hoped yo+ li$ed
it#
He t+rns aro+nd" re/ealing a tail on his b+tt" and goes
thro+gh the c+rtains#