RIPE

by Shelly Stone
shellylynn23@gmail.com

Sometimeswhentheykissedshethoughthemightbeready.Shewouldsendahopefulbreathtomingle
withtheairbetweentheirlipsandwaitforhimtodrawitin,asifthatbreathinsidehisbodymightconvincehistiny
cellsthatitwastime.Thosetenderkissesmadetheboundariesofherskinsoften,herheartrace,everyparticleof
herbodywanttomeshwithhis.Intheorchard,ontheplaidblanket,withthesunwarmingandthetreesdancing
aroundthem,theykissedthatway.Shewelcomeditandthrewherselfintothemoment.Andshehoped,prayed
even,thatthiswouldbethemonth.

Amidsttheappletreesandsunshine,shehoped,cherished,rejoiced,kissed.Andthenhisdaughter
disappeared.

Ithappenedashestrokedhercheek,asimplelighteningofhismouthonhers.Aminusculespacefar
lessthananinchbutbigenoughtobreaktheirconnection.Sheheardthedryleavesrustlingaroundher,thetractor
pullingpumpkinpickersinthedistance.Hislipslefthersandthesmellofearthy,fertilegroundandsharpcheese
hithernose.Reluctantly,sheopenedhereyes.Itwaslikewakingfromastupor,becomingconscious,beingborn.

Shewatchedhimcranehisneck.Hestood,poppedlikeameatthermometerinadonebird,andblurted,
WheresKaylee?.Thesoundofthegirlsnamehurt.Margaretselfishlywantedtoholdontohisdanglinghand,
pullhimdown,bringhimback.Butsheletgoandrecorkedthewine.Hisheadwhippedsidetoside,athrobbing
reminderthathewasalreadyafather,andshe,whohadbeguntorepackthecrackersandcheese,wasnotyeta
mother.

Margaretstoodbesideherhusband.Hehadtoldthegirltostaybytheblanket,nottowanderoff.Butthe
childneverdidlistenwell.HowmanytimeshadMargarettoldhertopickupherdirtysocks,tocleanherplateafter
dinner,toshutthebasementdoor?Thegirljustlovedtodisobey.ItwasnosurprisetoMargaretshewasmissing.

Markseyesgrewlargewithworryandalightsweatappearedonhisskin.Sheknewhemustbefeeling
guiltyandforthatshehadalittlesympathy.Herownguilt,theguiltsheshouldhavefeltforwantingthegirltoleave
themalone,forwantingMarkalltoherself,didntcome.Thepicnicwasovernow.Thegirlwasgoneandsowere
theplansforaperfectafternoon.

Weshouldsearch,hesaidandshenodded.Shetookadeepbreath.Shehadknownitwascoming.
Thiswasofcourse,justwhatthegirlwanted.Margaretkeptthethoughttoherselfandofferedinsteadtohuntthe
trees.Sheheadedforthehillsinthebackoftheorchardwithaquick,impressivepace,listeningtoherhusband
calloutthegirlsname.ShescurriedamongthetreesandyelledKaylee,exaggeratinghereelikeasmall
childswhine.

Thedistancebetweenthemgrew,herhusbandsvoicesofteninguntilshenolongerhearditandslowed.
Shepokedherheadbetweencrookedbranches,expectingonetobeholdingthegirl.Foundme,thegirlwould
sayandMargaretwouldstrugglenottofume.Shecouldpicturethegirlmunchinganappleandlookingsmug.
Kayleegettinglostonpurposewasirritating,yetstrangelyappealingtoMargaret.Apartofherwantedtobelievethe
girlhaddoneitintentionally,inordertointerruptthepicnic,ruintheafternoon,provehelovedhermore.Somehow,
thatwouldjustifytheanger.

Shewanderedbetweenthetrees.SomuchforAdayattheorchard.Itcouldntbesavednow.Margaret
hadpackedthewine,thecheese,thefreshbaguettebread.Theappleswerepickedandthepicnichadbeen
underway.Butshehadntplannedondistractions.Sheshouldhaveknownthetimingwastoogoodtobetrue.
Thiswastheweekendwiththeripestfruit.

Thedancingtreesthathadearlierformedaplayfulbackdroptotheirpicnicgrewintowoodysoldiers,
stiffbackedgrowthsthattoweredoverMargaretandseemedtodrawherin.Theygrewdenseandblockedthe
babybluesky,makingeverythingdarker.Eachsteptookherfurtherawayfromherhusbandandtheblanket.

Margaretstoppedsearchingandlookedaround.Hadshegoneinastraightlineorveeredoff?Everything
lookedthesame.Shecouldntseetheblanket,couldnthearMarkandcouldntbelievethatshewaslostnowtoo.
Shewasasbadasthegirl.

Sheturnedincircles,lookingforsomethingfamiliar,listeningforthetractororanotherwanderingsoul.
Herheadspunandthoughshefeltdizzy,shestartedwalkingagain,hopingitwastherightdirection.Ifshecould
justgetbacktotheblanket,shecouldstartfresh.

Sheaddedherhusbandsnametohercall.Imlost,sheyelled.Findme,shethought.Chooseme.Love
me.Buttherewasnoresponse.Attheendofthelineoftreessheturnedtoherrightandlookeddowntherow.
Nothingbutmoretrees.Defeated,sheallowedherheadtodrop,hershoulderstodroopandhereyestowater.On
thegroundwasarotten,dentedfruitwithwormholesonitsswollencheek.Margaretbentandpluckeditup,
graspedittightlyinherhand.Andthenshemarchedtofindtheblanket.

Sheheardthegigglefirstacoquettish,teasinglaugh.Whensheturnedthecornershesawthem,sitting
ontheground,eatinghercrackersandcheese.Shefondledtheappleinherhandandspiedonthemfroma
distance.

Whenthelaughtersoftened,sheapproachedandforcedherselftosay,Kaylee,thankgoodnessyoure
okay.ThegirlsmiledwithgourmetcrumbsonherlipsunmovedclosertoherfathersoMargaretcouldfitonthe
blanket.ItwasntbigenoughforthreeandMargaretsbottomrestedontheground.

Shelistenedasthegirlexplainedhowshegotlostandendedupneartheparkinglot,thenstayedthere
andwaitedforherdadbecausesheknewhedfindher.Marklaughedasshespoke,tousledherhairandsmiled
proudly.NobodyaskedwhathappenedtoMargaret.Shereleasedtherottenappleintoapapersack.Timetogo,
sheannounced.Shewashungry,thecrackersweregoneandtheapplesweretoosweetforher.

Athometherottenapplerestedonthesill,anuglyreminderoftheafternoon.Thebruisedfruitperched
andfestered,whilerosyfacedKayleeplayedbasketballontheothersideofthewindow.

Meanwhile,Margaretbaked.Shecoatedfreshappleswithsugarandcinnamon,flourandallspice,and
tossedthemgentlyinastainlesssteelbowl.Whentheywerecoatedwithsweetnessshewipedherfingersonthe
apronandpreparedtomoveon.Formingthecrust.Thedoughhadbeenmadethatmorningandwaitednowon
thecounter.Shepushedhercleanfingertipsdeepintotheball.Itwasasinkingcomfort.Thepiewouldbemore
successfulthantheday.

Outsidethewindow,herhusbandandstepdaughterdribbledwithwidesmilesandsweatyforeheads.
Thesundroppedbelowthetreesandtheyshothoops,sharinganexclusivefunthatrefusedtoyieldtothedays
events.

Margaretdabbedherownsweatyforeheadwithherapronandwatchedthemplay.Apartofherwantedto
beinvitedtotheirgame.Hadtheyasked,shewouldhavesaidno.Shewassupposedtobeinsidebaking.Thats
whatmothersdid.

Asshestaredoutthewindow,thefoulfruitteasedher,juttedintoherviewanddemandedtobenoticed.It
wouldntbeinthepie,shewasntgoingtohavethatruinedtoo,butshecouldntgetherselftotossitinthe
compostpile.Sheneededtodisplayitawhilelonger.

Sheshapedtheplumpdoughintoalongrubberytubeandhelditinherfist.Thetopfloppedoverand
wobbledlikealimppenis,likeMarksuncooperativeorganonthenightstheytriedtomakelovewithKayleeinthe
house.Markcouldnevergetintoit,afraidKayleemighthearthem.Margaretprayedthatwhenhewasready,her
fertiledayswouldntcoincidewithKayleesvisitation.

Withtherollingpinsheflattenedthedough.Thegirlwasthereasontheywerewaiting.Markdidntthink
shecouldhandlethechangesababymightbring.Hehadpromisedtoworkonitandtrytomoveforward.And
progresshadbeenmade,atleastuntilKayleesrecentgameofhideandseek.Margaretknewthatthemere
suggestionofthegirlsdisappearancefromhislifewouldsetthemback.

Sheplacedthedoughinacrimpededgepanandpouredthegoodapplesgentlyin.Moredoughwascut
intostripsandwovenoverthesweetfruit,thenbrushedwitheggwhitestomakeitshine.Sheplacedthepieinthe
ovenandcleanedthecounterwhileitbaked,wipingaroundasmallpileofleftoverdoughonthecounter.Whatto
dowiththelittlelump?

Margarettooktheappleoffthewindowsill,avertinghereyesfromthesceneoutside,andbegantopeelit
withshort,jerky,shameonyoumotions.Shewantedtobegoodwife,agoodmother,evenagoodstepmother.
Domesticblisshadalwaysbeenthegoal.

Sheleftthesoft,browndentsontheappleinsteadofscrapingthemaway.Sheputitonthecuttingboard
andstabbeditintoirregularchunksthendroppedthemintotheleftoverdough.Wipingtearsfromhereyesshe
usedhermoistenedfingerstosealthedough.Sheaddednosugar,nospicebeforesheputitintheoven.

Whenshehadcleanedthekitchen,washedthedishesandremovedherapron,whenthesweetsmellof
applepiehadfilledtheair,shecalledthemintoeat.Theyranpasthertowashup,herhusbandblowingaplayful
kissandcommentingonthewonderfulsmellashehurriedby.

Thepiewasgorgeous,symmetricalandshiny.Itcooledonthesill,atriumphantdisplay.Onthecounter
wasthedumpling,hideous,misshapenandburnt.Margaretliftedthedumplingtohermouth,tookabite,chewed
therottenfruit,andswallowed.