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Gurdjieff & Money
After the Russian Revolution had broken out, Gurdjieff lost most of
his money but had to support many of his students. Circumstances in
revolutionary Russia became so chaotic that Gurdjieff and his group
were finally forced to leave. In doing so, what remained of his rubles
was absolutely worthless. In Essentuki he pointed out to Ouspensky:
"Now do you understand why we collected money in Moscow and St.
Petersburg? You said then that a thousand rubles was too much. And
will even this money be enough? One and a half persons paid. I have
now already spent more than was collected then."(8)
"I have always thought," wrote Toomer, "that he used the money
thing as a lever with which to work on you—one of the few and most
effective ready-made levers available to him in relation to you, as you
live under a system of private ownership and difficult peculiar
finances, in short, under the capitalistic order, or disorder. Not that he
does not want the money, but that he achieves two results, one for
himself, one for yourself, by use of the one means."(11)
One can see Toomer valiantly struggling not to get stuck in regard
to Gurdjieff and money. "One surely must
think twice and again and again," he said,
"before hardening and fixing the belief that
Gurdjieff is after money only. To me, this
belief never has and does not now seem
tenable. Surely also, if one has feeling for the
work and good will towards him, one must be
on the alert so as not to refuse help if and
when the call 'Wolf, wolf,' really means wolf."
Mental Gymnastics
****
The food, like all the food he prepares, was amazing, original,
unlike any food I've tasted elsewhere. As customary, vodka was
poured and the toasts to the idiots began. First, to the health of all
ordinary idiots. Having drunk half a glass to all ordinary idiots we
began eating. Meat of which I did not know the name. Smoked fish,
really smoked and really delicious. Salad with a mustard-wine vinegar
sauce.
He himself, by the way, calls himself the unique idiot. The unique
idiot is twenty-one on the scale: You seldom reach a toast to it.
Should you, Gurdjieff guarantees that while everyone is under the
table he will dance on the tabletop. Also by the way, it is generally
understood by those who dine and drink with him that God is his heir,
and that when he dies God will then become the unique idiot.
An Original Office
Who Is Gurdjieff?
What could be in the man's mind? Who and what was he? What
were his purposes? What aims did he have for me, if any? What aims
for the people of the world? Was I a mere tool? Was I not even that,
so nothing from his point of view that he need not even consider the
way he used or misused me? Was he, as some claimed, insane? Did
he, as some also claimed, know psychic laws but was essentially
stupid in his practical dealings with people? If he knew anything at all
about me, how could he fail to know that I was ready and willing to do
all I possibly could as regards any real need of his that I could grasp
and understand, whereas just these tricky manipulative tactics were
sure to throw me off?
Why Manipulate?
Gurdjieff was talking away. He said, among other things, "It is not
for me. I am nothing." Suddenly with utter sincerity, I said, "I feel the
same way. I am nothing." And I did feel it. I felt I wasn't important, not
the slightest. I felt I had reached the limit of my possibilities. I felt
there was no further use that I tax myself, not in relation to him, not
in relation to anything, but mainly not for myself. I felt selfless,
without ego. I felt I would gladly willingly give all I was and all I had if
it would be of any service to others. I felt that an additional three
hundred dollars was nothing at all to contribute to his work, if it really
were a work, if it really was destined to be of vast service to mankind.
But if just this sum was needed for just this need, then why
manipulate? Why not a straight request so that I could respond with a
straight hand? Why not do it in a way that would assure me that the
sum would be thus used, that after I had given the three hundred I
would not at once find myself being worked for an additional five
hundred, and so on and so on as long as I could scrape together a
cent—or until I, like others before me, became disillusioned and
embittered and broke off from him completely.
We left the bathroom and took chairs in the main room, the
typewriter pounding and clacking. We smoked and joked. I asked
Gurdjieff certain questions about myself. He said I did not deserve to
know. I asked, "If I do not deserve, then who does?" His reply was that
nobody deserved. I asked, "Then for whom are you doing all this
work?" "I will live for coming generations," he said. "It is for them."
In my mind was the thought, "I do not count. Not finished but not
important." In my feelings was the feeling, "Nothing more is possible
for me." So then, of what use can I be to others? I could not feel that
to give an additional three hundred dollars would be any real use. It
would be burnt up quickly as the sums in the past had been burnt up,
going like smoke up the chimney. When I went home I'd have to face
my wife with it. My wife would be thrown off because she, like any
sane human being, would be thrown off convinced that my leg was
being pulled, convinced that Gurdjieff had wanted to see me again
only so as [to] get money from me again, he knowing that I had
married into a wealthy family. What a devilish hellish situation. Or,
perhaps, a situation of purgatory.
I recalled my meetings with him the previous spring soon after his
arrival from Europe. I had not seen him for several years. Learning
that I was in New York he asked someone to call me, saying that Mr.
Gurdjieff wanted to see me at Child's that evening. I went. He was in a
bad way. His health was poor. He looked it, liverish, looked as if he
had been drawn through a mill, was laboring under a heavy ceaseless
strain physically and mentally and every way. Leaning towards me he
told of certain difficulties in France, said that now he really needed
me. In the past he had not. Now he did. He spoke about the future
and hinted at certain rewards that [would] be mine then if I helped
him now. I, moved deeply, replied that already he had done an
inestimable amount for me and that out of gratitude, with no thought
of further reward, I would gladly do all I could [to] help him meet his
present extremity.
A Changed Man?
Time passed.
Before the reading, at intervals during it, and after the reading,
Gurdjieff made remarks in his unique way, remarks about myself and
my position and condition, remarks about Leighton and Solon. Some
were obviously jokes. Others were just as obviously of a different
category, in the manner and tradition of his way of teaching, one of
his ways.
Gurdjieff's 'Taking'
He fixes a situation. He leads you into it. You go into it, eyes open.
Then he takes—if you let him, and often you do. If you let him, if he
takes today, then you may be sure that as long as you have relations
with him you will again and again find yourself in a similar situation. If
you withhold, then again as long as you have relations with him a
>similar situation will be repeated.
Why? Why does he work it this way? Might as well ask the sphinx.
Is there some profound teaching and training involved? Or doesn't it,
on the contrary, argue that he has a most cynical view of human
nature, believing that people are but sheep who must be sheared
because they wouldn't understand and respond to his need if he
presented it as a human being to human beings?
A Revival of Feeling
During the course of the supper I felt a revival of my old feeling for
Gurdjieff. The drinks helped my subconscious self to come out, and I
found myself, with something like a rush of feeling, once more
affirming him. My mind was working too. I did not want to be
importuned for money. I did want to offer it to him voluntarily if he
really needed it. Before the evening was over I proposed that we,
myself, Leighton and Solon too, and I had others in mind, work out a
scheme whereby Gurdjieff would receive from us a definite amount
each week for the period of a month. Later on, the plan was actually
carried into effect. After leaving Gurdjieff that evening I did not see
him again for several weeks.
That was early in January. February was over half over when I
again got a call. I went to lunch. I went to dinner. The upshot of it all
was that Gurdjieff, planning to leave America on March 2nd, needed
money for the passage. Practically no manipulation was required, nor
resistance against manipulation, for me to promise two hundred
dollars. This done, I felt at ease, and, also, just a little virtuous. I
breathed a sigh of relief and satisfaction. This time, it seemed pure,
the money transaction would occur simply, without "tactics," on the
simple real basis of one person responding to another's need.
I soon saw, however, that, for some reason or other, I was in for a
period of being called upon to come to lunch, come to dinner, come
for Turkish bath. Gurdjieff is that way. If he calls you he calls you.
With him it is all or nothing. He wants to take you away from
everything else—or, in any case, he wants you when he wants you,
often, one after the other—and it is up to you to decide that you too
want or else call a halt.
He nodded. "Speaking just like that, I can tell you I've lived
thousands of years. It is possible to know how to live thousands of
years in one life." "I believe it," I said, "For instance, I'm sure that in
some way you actually experienced Tikliamish and those ancient
civilizations you write about in the First Series."
"African."
"At different times you have told me it was English and, again,
typically American. I don't understand."
"Angry? Why?"
***
Notes
(9) Said Toomer: "More than one person more than one time has,
after leaving Gurdjieff found himself to be just such a split fool in hell.
How he loves to put people in galoshes—as he expresses it. He is too
polite to use such a phrase as split fool in hell. No, he simply puts you
in galoshes. If you say yes you are a fool. If you say no you are two
fools. If you say both yes and no you are a split fool in hell."
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