Readm Part3

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Section #
Real Secrets o the Male &sychology Most 'omen
Aren(t A$are )* This +s ,o$ Men Thin"-...................!

Section #"
&o$erul /motional Triggers 'hich 'ill Ma"e
Any Man 0all 0or 1ou-..................................."

Section #!
The +nvisi!le Trap Most 'omen 0all +nto and )ten
,arm Themselves 'ith* 2no$ This 3eore it(s Too
4ate.................................................!

Section ##
The Single Most +mportant 2ey to
Getting 'hat 1ou 'ant )ut o a Relationship................!$

Section #%
The 3iggest 0ear Men ,ave They 5on(t
'ant 'omen to 2no$..................................##

Section #&
,o$ to Ma"e a Man Commit /ven + ,e
+s Reluctant To 5o So at 0irst.............................#'

3
Section #$
,o$ 'omen 2ill Their Relationships
and Never Reali6e +t....................................%$

Section #(
,o$ to Read a Man(s Mind and
0igure )ut ,is True +ntentions............................&)

Section #'
5o 1ou Al$ays /nd 7p 'ith 4osers8
,ere is 'hat 1ou Must Read.............................&#

Section #)
,o$ to +nluence a Man to 1our 'ay
o Thin"ing ...........................................$)

Section #
The Most &o$erul Thing a 'oman Can 5o
to Resolve a Conlict $ith a Man +nstantly...................$#

Section #"
,o$ to 5ecipher ,is ,idden Messages* 0ind )ut
+ ,e +s Really Telling you the Truth........................$$

Section #!
,o$ to &sychologically Train 1our Man +nto
5oing More o the Things That &lease 1ou ..................("

4
Section ##
,o$ to Tal" A!out Ta"ing the Relationship to
the Ne9t 4evel $ithout 0rea"ing ,im )ut ...................($

Section #%
The Real Secrets !ehind 'hat 5rives a Man to &ursue
Certain 2inds o 'omen and Avoid the Rest.................'!

Section #&
'hy Men are )ten :/motionally
7navaila!le; and 'hat to 5o A!out +t......................''

Section #$
/9tremely +mportant <ualities Men
5esperately See" in a 'oman...........................)!

Section #(
'hy Men 5on(t Call Ater the 0irst 0e$ 5ates
and ,o$ to Ma"e Sure ,e Calls 1ou 3ac" .................)

Section #'
A Man +sn(t the Ans$er to All 1our
&ro!lems and 'on(t Ma"e 1ou ,appy.....................&

Section #")
The Most 5angerous Mista"es 1ou
Never 'ant to Ma"e around Men........................")

5
Section #"
So ,e 'ants to 3rea"up 'ith 1ou8 ,ere +s ,o$ to
Stop a 3rea"up and Ampliy ,is +nterest in 1ou............."(

Section #""
Most +mportant Things to 2eep in Mind ...................!!
Final *ords ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++%"

6
,ntrod-ction:
+ $ould li"e to start $ith a story=a story you might relate to in
several $ays.
)nce upon a time there $as a girl $ho $as very attracted to a
young man. At irst she assumed that he $as %ust another guy# !ut
as time passed and she got to "no$ him more=her attraction to
him gre$.

And $ith time# this attraction gre$ into a strong emotional urge to
!e $ith this guy. 3ut this $as the tric"y part> she didn(t "no$
$hether the guy elt the same $ay a!out her.

The very act that she $asn(t sure a!out ho$ he elt to$ards her
made her !ecome more and more insecure.

)ccasionally he $ould say things such as# :1ou are so !eautiul# +
really li"e you.; 3ut $hat ollo$ed $ere al$ays attempts to get
physical. /very time she sho$ed resistance or tried to stop his
physical advances# he $ould act slightly rustrated and then ignore
her or several days.

This urther conused her. She thought that may!e !ecoming more
physically intimate $ould ta"e things to the ne9t level and
eventually she let him have his $ay. 5ays turned into $ee"s and
$ee"s turned into months# !ut it didn(t seem li"e the relationship
$as going any$here.

She "ne$ something $as $rong $ith the picture !ut could not
7
igure out $hat it $as. No matter $hat she did=he $asn(t acting as
i he $as alling in love. Rather# he acted more li"e a riend.

Ater spending many days o!sessing over him# the girl decided to
pop the !ig ?uestion. )ne day on the phone she as"ed him# :So
$hat do you thin" a!out us8;

,e had no idea $hat she $as tal"ing a!out.

She continued# :1ou never tell me ho$ you actually eel to$ards
me. 1ou never tal" a!out our relationship.;

,e $as as cold as ice and did not really have much o an ans$er.

And then she made a !old move. She conessed her true eelings
or him. She told him ho$ much she loved him and $anted to
spend her lie $ith him.

,e inally responded# :'ell + am too !usy $ith my career at the
moment. + don(t thin" this is the right time.;

This only conused her more. She didn(t understand $hat had %ust
happened.

5ay and night# she thought*

5oes it mean he loves me !ut he(s scared o something8

5oes it mean + as"ed him a!out our relationship too early8

5oes it mean he isn(t ready to commit at all8

These ?uestions $ere driving her mad. She had to get this all
8
igured out !eore it $as too late. She really had to !e $ith this guy
no matter $hat.

She thought she hadn(t tried hard enough# thereore she concluded
that i she sho$ed him ho$ much she truly loved him# he $ould
eventually commit to her.

And this is $here the drama started. She started calling him more
oten> she started mentioning ho$ she truly elt a!out him# ho$
much she loved him and ho$ she %ust couldn(t live $ithout him.

And this is $hen the unthin"a!le happened.

,e stopped ans$ering her calls. She $ould leave message ater
message on his ans$ering machine# !ut to no avail. +t too" her
several $ee"s to inally reach him# only to hear that he had !een
e9tra !usy the last e$ $ee"s and $asn(t going to have any ree
time to see her or the ne9t month or so.

She tried to get more details and !eore she could say anything
else> he said he had to go# and hung up the phone.

'hether you have !een in this situation or a situation similar to this
=$e all "no$ ho$ it ends# right8

Most $omen going through this situation are let in the dar"#
thin"ing*

'as it something + said@8
'as it something + did@8

'hat $as it that scared him o8

9
And# eventually $hen they can(t ind a logical reason# they end up
thin"ing# )h $ell- This is ho$ men truly are. They %ust $ant one
thing. They only use $omen. All men are %er"s.

0irst o all- 4et me get something straight here=not all men $ant
%ust one thing and not all men are %er"s. + that $as the case you
$ould never see relationships or marriages ta"ing place in our
society.

Thin"ing that men %ust $ant one thing is a myth that society has
hard$ired into the emale !rain. The !ig pro!lem is that $omen
assume that men have the same thin"ing process as they do.

'omen assume that men $ant the same things as they do. They
haven(t really spent much time trying to truly igure men out on a
deeper level and actually understand ho$ men thin" and $hy they
do $hat they do.

+nsanity is doing the same thing over and over again and e9pecting
a dierent outcome. This is e9actly $hat many $omen out there do
on a regular !asis.

A common e9ample o this is the emale $ho "eeps on alling or
the same a!usive %er" over and over# only to discover that she has
!een cheated onAa!used and ta"en advantage o yet again.

3ecause many $omen do not understand men# $hat they assume
should $or" actually ends up ma"ing things $orse. +t(s no !ig
surprise that $omen oten end up conused !ecause they do not
understand ho$ to handle dierent situations around men.

1ou can never get a man to li"e you !y conessing your love#
convincing him to li"e you# or !y chasing him around.

+n other $ords# many things that $omen try to do in order to ma"e
a man li"e them actually cause the man to not li"e them at all.
10
Rather# it repels them and ma"es them run a$ay.

+ $ill e9plain the process on ho$ this actually ta"es place in later
sections o this !oo".

This !oo" is an eort to sho$ you the core dynamics o ho$ things
$or" $ith men and ho$ you can use them to your ultimate
advantage. +n addition# the !est part is=you $ill learn $hat $or"s
and $hat doesn(t $or" $ith men# $ithout having to go through the
old# painul trial and error route.

3y the time you inish $ith this !oo" you $ill have a perect
understanding o ho$ to get the man o your dreams# design the
perect relationship you have al$ays dreamed o and "eep him
attracted to you or as long as you $ant.

0or $omen# inding the right guy is li"e trying to ind a needle in a
haystac". The very process o inding a potential mate can !e
e9tremely rustrating and over$helming.

0irst you have to ind a guy $ho seems right# then you have to
attract his attention. Then you try to discover more details a!out
him to ma"e sure he isn(t %ust another %er". The hardest part o all
is to ma"e sure he remains attracted to you and proceeds to the
ne9t level.

0or many $omen# thin"ing a!out all o these steps can ma"e them
e9tremely an9ious and earul# !ut this only happens $hen they
don(t "no$ $hat to do. ,umans e9perience an9iety and ear $hen
they encounter a situation $here they have no clear plan o action.

This !oo" $ill teach you $hat to do=giving you a perect
systematic understanding o $hat to do in various situations $ith
men# $hich $ill only intensiy their attraction or you at each level o
your relationship.

11
No$ !eore $e get to the real meaty stu# + $ould li"e to give you a
small $arning=you $ill come across certain concepts in this !oo"
that might eel alien to you# that may !e hard or impossi!le to
!elieve in some cases. To understand and learn these concepts# you
$ill need to suspend your dis!elie momentarily.

+ $ant you to open up and try these concepts out. At the same
time# you may come across concepts that ma"e you thin"# )h- +
already "no$ that- 4et(s s"ip to the ne9t part. + you do this# you(ll
!e $asting your time. /very section o this !oo" is vitally important#
as it orms the oundation or the ne9t.

The other very important thing + $ant you to do is to put
everything you learn here into practice. Many people read !oo"s
and never put anything into practice. 2no$ing and not doing is
$orse than not "no$ing. 5oing is $hat gets you the results> doing
is $hat ta"es you arther in lie> doing is $hat $ill get you the man
o your dreams. So doing is everything.

The only $ay to !ecome an e9pert at this is to do more and analy6e
less=don(t let yoursel !e consumed !y internal conlicts.

Al$ays remem!er that action is everything. Nothing happens until
something moves=act on everything you learn in this !oo".

4et(s not $aste any more time and get right to the irst section@

12
Section:
Real Secrets o. the /ale 0s1cholog1
/ost *omen Aren2t A3are O.: This ,s 4o3 /en
Thin5-

+ you are one o those $omen $ho !elieve that iguring out a man
is as diicult as clim!ing Mount /verest# then this might !e the
most important section or you.

+(m going to start o !y saying=men are very dierent than
$omen. 1ou already "no$ that# right8 +t(s not really a !ig secret#
!ut the "ey is in learning ho$ men are dierent than $omen.

Most $omen are a$are o the o!vious dierences# !ut !ecause men
tend to have their o$n $ay o doing things# $omen are oten let
conused and even rustrated !y their actions.

,ave you ever !een in a situation $ith a man $here you tried to
e9plain something to him# and no matter $hat you said or ho$ you
said it=he never understood you8 Chances are you ended up in a
!ig argument that let you !oth rustrated and irritated $ith each
other.

/very time you end up in such a situation# do you "no$ that one o
the reasons could !e your lac" o understanding o the male
psychology8
1ou may !e as"ing yoursel# :'hy do you $ant me to do all the
hard $or"8 'hy should + !other to understand him $hen he(s not
ma"ing any eort to understand me8;

+ you $ant to see changes in your outside $orld# you irst have to
13
change your inner $orld. 1ou need to start !y seeing things as they
really are=not as you assume they should !e.

The !est $ay to start is !y studying the !asic dierences in ho$
men and $omen thin". ,ere are some acts a!out men you might
not !e a$are o*

/en are more logical6 anal1tical6 and rational6 3hereas
3omen are more int-itive6 creative 7 emotional.

+n short=men apply logic to everything# $hereas $omen see things
rom a more emotional perspective. This is the primary reason $hy
men never tal" unless there is a reason to tal". They need to see
the point in doing something !eore they go a!out doing it.

'hereas $omen tend to tal" or share things even i there is no real
point in sharing and tal"ing. They don(t really need an o!%ective or
a purpose to eel the need to share and tal".

A very common e9ample o this is $hen a $oman complains that
her man doesn(t listen# $hen in reality the man doesn(t really see
any reason or tal"ing. ,e considers it to !e unnecessary chatter.

She "eeps on complaining that he doesn(t listen $hile he "eeps on
complaining that she %ust nags him a!out every little thing.

The pro!lem here is a lac" o understanding.

/en have a m-ch more di..ic-lt time relating to their o3n
.eelings and never .reel1 e89ress them6 3hereas 3omen
.reel1 e89ress their .eelings and normall1 tend to have a
3ider range o. emotions 3ith greater intensit1.

This is $hy you don(t see men cry in situations $here a $oman
$ould normally cry. Since $omen are more sensitive in comparison
14
to men# they oten la!el men as !eing too insensitive $hen dealing
$ith certain situations.

)n the other hand# men !lame $omen or !eing overly sensitive
to$ard the same issues.

/en en:o1 inde9endence 3hile 3omen have a need .or
intimac1 and connection.

This is the main reason $hy it(s a lot harder or a man to commit to
a relationship. Most men don(t really thin" a!out settling do$n as
much as $omen do. Men stay single until they ind an e9tremely
good reason to settle do$n.

Men have a ear that they might get trapped i they commit too
early# oten resulting in ma"ing no commitment at all. +n later
sections o this !oo"# + $ill sho$ you ho$ to ma"e a man commit
even i he is reluctant to do so at irst.

To .eel good6 men m-st .eel in control.

This is $hy it(s not a good idea to tell the guy $hat to do and $hat
not to do. 0or men# !eing a!le to do things !y themselves means he
eels in li"e he is !oth in charge and strong. 1ou $ill never see men
reely tal"ing a!out their pro!lems as they generally consider it to
!e a sign o $ea"ness.

)n the other hand# $omen aren(t araid to reely discuss their
pro!lems and see" advice rom various sources. +n their $orld#
see"ing advice isn(t a sign o $ea"ness at all.

3ut this is $here the !ig conlict arises. 'hen a $oman tries to give
advice or help to a man# he interprets it as a sign o $ea"ness#
thereore he assumes that you are indirectly telling him that may!e
he isn(t good enough or he(s lac"ing something.
15

1our intentions are to help him !ecause you consider caring and
sharing to !e positive# !ut he assumes that you are trying to tell
them that he can(t do things on his o$n.

And this is a !ig !lo$ to a man(s selBesteem. 'hen this happens
they may either $ithdra$ completely or argue $ith you=something
commonly "no$n as the ight or light response.
+n later sections + $ill sho$ you ho$ to ma"e a man ta"e your
advice $ithout him getting deensive.

There are several other dierences !ut i + $as to mention them all
this !oo" $ill never end. + hope you get my point here. +n order to
land the man o your dreams and "eep him attracted# you have to
irst ma"e a e$ changes in your o$n thin"ing.

Remem!er at the !eginning + mentioned you have to suspend
dis!elie momentarily and open your mind to ne$ things8 +t(s time
to do so no$# !ecause some o the concepts + am going to discuss
ne9t might !e a !it hard to digest.

Fact #. /en ;ehave aro-nd 1o- ;ased on the 3a1 1o-
;ehave aro-nd them<

5o you "no$ that men al$ays act according to the !ehaviors o the
$oman they are around8 +n other $ords# men react in alignment to
the $ay you act around them. So does it mean + am saying you are
CDDE responsi!le or everything8

'ell + $on(t say CDDE# !ut to a very large e9tent you are
responsi!le or $hat happens to you $hen you are around men. +
you al$ays ind yoursel hoo"ing up $ith a!usive men# one ater the
other then it is deinitely something you are doing to attract these
men.
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1ou can say that he seemed perect> he $as nice early on etc.# !ut
i a man is doing something you don(t really approve o# then you
are allo$ing him to do so. Men only react to the $ay you act around
them.

Men al$ays si6e up a $oman !ased on her !ehaviors and act
accordingly. So i a man "eeps cheating on you yet you still stic"
around=$hat signal are you giving out8 1ou are indirectly telling
him# :)"- So you cheated again. This is unaccepta!le !ut + am not
sure i + $ant to leave you.;

,e senses that and "no$s you $on(t leave him# so he "eeps
cheating on you over and over again. 1ou indirectly train him ho$
you $ant to !e treated !y displaying certain actions. Al$ays
remem!er# a positive !ehavior $hen praised $ill !e repeated# a
negative !ehavior $hen ignored $ill !e repeated as $ell.

The main reason $hy some $omen ind themselves stuc" in
a!usive relationships is simply !ecause they "eep on ignoring the
man(s !ad !ehavior and conse?uently# he "eeps on repeating it. 'e
$ill ela!orate urther on this in the coming chapters.

Fact # ". ,n order to see a change in 1o-r circ-mstances6
1o- 3ill have to change 1o-rsel..

+n order to !est e9plain this point# + $ould li"e to share a story +
came across $hile suring the net one day.

There $as a millionaire $ho $as !othered !y severe eye pain. ,e
consulted many physicians and $as getting treated. ,e didn(t stop
consulting a multitude o medical e9perts> he consumed heavy
loads o drugs and under$ent hundreds o in%ections.

3ut the ache persisted. At last# the millionaire called a mon" $ho
$as supposedly an e9pert in treating such patients.
17

The mon" understood his pro!lem and said that or the ne9t $hile
he should concentrate only on green colors and ignore all other
colors.

The millionaire gathered a group o painters# purchased !arrels o
green paint# and instructed that every o!%ect his eye $as li"ely to
all on should !e painted green# %ust as the mon" had said.

'hen the mon" came to visit him ater e$ days# the millionaireFs
servants ran $ith !uc"ets o green paint and poured them on him
as he $as $earing red clothing.

At this the mon" laughed and said# G1our master could have
purchased a pair o green spectacles# $orth %ust a e$ dollars and
could have saved these $alls# trees# pots and all other articles $hich
$ould have also saved a large share o his ortune.

So the moral is that you can(t change the $hole $orld=it $ould !e
impossi!le. 1ou have to start !y changing yoursel.

+n order to succeed $ith men you have to irst change your vision
and open your mind to understanding men on another level. 1ou
have to give up on your old !elies a!out men and try to understand
$hy they do $hat they do. )nce you understand their emotional
drivers# you $ill have no trou!le attracting the right man.

Fact # !. *hat 1o- 3ant and 3hat a man ma1 3ant 3ill
al3a1s ;e com9letel1 di..erent.

This is one thing you should "eep in mind every single time you are
around a man. The very reason !ehind the death o most
relationships and constant conlicts comes do$n to this act.

/very individual has a story running in their mind $here they see
18
things a certain $ay# $hich may !e completely dierent rom reality.
And people have a strange addiction to this story they have running
in their mind.

This is the prime reason $hy $hen anything happens that goes
against this story you have running in your head# there $ill al$ays
!e conlict. +n your mind you might e9pect a man to !e a certain
$ay and do certain things !ut in reality he might do the complete
opposite o it# $hich may surprise you.

+n most cases it might not even ma"e sense to you# !ut in the
man(s $orld# $hat you are doing might not ma"e any sense to him
either.

3ut you should e9pect this. So in order to succeed in the dating
arena you have to drop all your assumptions a!out men and see
things the $ay they really are. 1ou should stop trying to color the
$orld around you green and rather get a pair o green spectacles.

Thereore# it is important to drop all your assumptions and start to
o!serve !eore orming any %udgments.

Fact ##. ,t2s hard .or a man to commit.

This is another act you must understand !ecause commitment is a
huge decision or a man and he al$ays thin"s long and hard !eore
he eventually decides to commit to a certain $oman.

They ear !eing trapped# even i they are $ith the !est loo"ing
$oman out there. This ear comes and goes all the time in their
$orld. They al$ays eel that yes# they might !e $ith the !est
$oman out there !ut they can still do a !it !etter.

This might sound a !it $eird to $omen# !ut this is a universal act
a!out men# and the aster you understand it the !etter it(s going to
19
!e or you.

No$# this does not mean he $ill never commit at all. There are
certain things you can do $hich $ill naturally drive him to commit
to you. 3ut again- 'e $ill go into much detail in some o the later
sections.

No$ that you are over your %udgments and assumptions a!out men
and are inally open to see reality the $ay it truly e9ists# let me
sho$ you ho$ you can use all this to your ultimate advantage.

20
Section:"
0o3er.-l Emotional Triggers *hich
*ill /a5e An1 /an Fall For =o->
+ $ould li"e to share my o$n personal story to e9plain something
here. + remem!er a e$ years !ac"# there $as this certain girl +
used to li"e. Since she $as really good loo"ing she $as one o those
tooBhardBtoBget types.
And the act that she $asn(t that easy to get or most guys# made
me more interested in her. + $as pretty conident and outgoing so
stri"ing up a conversation $ith most $omen $asn(t a !ig deal or
me.

3ut or some reason + struggled a !it $ith this one. +t too" me
several months to approach and start a conversation $ith her. 3ut
$ith time# things started to lo$ $ell. 'e $ould spend a lot o time
together and it seemed as i she $as getting closer and closer to
me as time passed !y.

And at the same time my comort levels started to get higher and
higher around her. She $as everything a guy could $ant in a
$oman. 3ut or some reason# $ith the passage o time a very
strange thing started to happen.
+ started to reali6e that + $as not interested in her as much as +
used to !e. + never elt any e9citement a!out meeting her and + no
longer got those desperate urges to tal" to her $hich + al$ays used
to.
3ut you see# + didn(t $ant to eel this $ay. + thought to mysel# This
is the perect girl or me. She is the one + al$ays $anted to !e $ith.
21
3ut or some reason + didn(t eel that inner desire to !e $ith her
anymore.

And + had no idea ho$ it happened.

The more + pulled !ac"# the harder she tried to ma"e me happy.
She $ould al$ays go that e9tra mile to do things or me# !ut it only
made me more disinterested in her.

No$ + $on(t give you all the details o $hat happened and $here it
'ent# !ut + $ould li"e to tell you that $e !ro"e it o ater a e$
months.

A e$ months later# + came across another girl $ho $asn(t nearly as
good loo"ing as the previous one !ut this girl drove me a!solutely
cra6y a!out her. All my riends al$ays used to as" me# :'hat do
you see in her8:

And + al$ays used to respond !y saying# :'ell# she(s dierent.; +
couldn(t e9plain ho$# !ut this $as the only thing + could thin" o.
And guess $hat8 She !ro"e it o $ith me ater a e$ months.

+t $asn(t until much later that + reali6ed $hat had !een going on
and $hy + elt no attraction to$ards one and intense attraction
to$ards the other one. There $as a solid pattern $hich $as in
unction here=a concept $hich + inally igured out.

And i you can get this one concept properly then + can guarantee
that you have done HDE o the $or" to$ards !eing successul $ith
men.

So $hat e9actly is this concept + am tal"ing a!out8 'ell this is
called :ATTRACT+)N;.

And it isn(t a choice# $hich means attraction isn(t something men
22
decide to eel. +t %ust happens around certain emales. These are
the emales the society terms as naturals. They are the "ind $ho
never struggle to stri"e up conversations $ith men and al$ays have
men lined up no matter $here they go.

And here is the surprising part. Not all these $omen are stunningly
gorgeous. 1up- 4oo"s don(t really play a !ig role here. Attraction
goes $ay !eyond physical loo"s.

1ou can get a man(s attention !y displaying !eauty !ut that doesn(t
necessarily mean you can get him committed to you. This is the
main reason $hy even the !est loo"ing o $omen ind it hard to
ind the right man and "eep him.

So attraction is a much deeper concept. And + am going to sho$
you ho$ you can easily trigger it as and $hen you please. )nce a
man eels attraction# he $ill !e internally orced to pursue you. +n
other $ords# he is almost po$erless.

At the same time i he eels repelled to$ards you# he $on(t $ant to
!e $ith you even i you are the prettiest $oman out there. ,e
$ould !e po$erless here as $ell. And + $ill sho$ you ho$ to avoid
this.

4o3 Attraction *or5s<

Attraction is the oundation o everything# and it is the single most
important and critical concept you must understand i you ever $ant
to !e successul $ith men.

7nless you irst understand ho$ attraction $or"s you $ill al$ays
ind yoursel conused !y a guy(s actions. )nce you understand the
dynamics o attraction# everything a!out men $ill !ecome simpler.

1ou $ill ully understand $hy a guy is acting or reacting in certain
23
$ays around you# and at the same time you $ill even !e a!le to
predict his ne9t move. This is the primary reason $hy + am laying so
much importance on the concept o attraction.

Attraction is a su!conscious response men have to$ards certain
!ehaviors displayed !y $omen. So in other $ords# you can control
the intensity o attraction you $ant a guy to eel to$ards you.

All you really have to do is to integrate certain !ehaviors in your
personality and guys $ill naturally eel attracted to you. They $ill
eel attracted to you !ut $on(t really "no$ $hy.

So !eore + get to the deeper concepts# let me irst state a e$ !asic
things here. +n a nutshell*

BMen can(t control $ho they are attracted to.

BMen can(t control $ho they are not attracted to.

BAttraction happens $hen you display certain !ehaviors and the "ey
to getting any man attracted is to irst understand these !ehaviors
and integrate them into your personality.

3ehaviors# $hich trigger attraction@

? A 3oman 3ho isn2t eas1 to get.
"? A 3oman 3ho is -n9redicta;le.
!? A 3oman 3ho is emotionall1 mat-re.
#? A 3oman 3ho sets ;o-ndaries 7 has a certain standard
that
sho-ld ;e met ;e.ore she lets a man into her 3orld.
%? A 3oman men consider irresisti;le.
24
. A 3oman 3ho isn2t eas1 to get.

5o you "no$ that humans tend to pursue that $hich retreats rom
them8 + don(t "no$ $hy it $or"s this $ay !ut that(s the $ay it is.
'e naturally eel a stronger desire to get the things $hich aren(t
easy to get.

0or some reason humans are hard$ired to $ant $hat they can(t
easily have. 'hen a $oman interacts $ith a man# there is an
invisi!le !attle going on $here !oth the se9es are trying to
determine $ho(s more important.

So it(s pretty simple. The moment a man reali6es that you have a
high standard in comparison to him and that you aren(t li"e any
other $oman he can easily con?uer# his respect and admiration or
you $ill dou!le.

,e $ill get to a point $here he $ould !e scared to scre$ things up
around you simply !ecause you aren(t too easy to get. +t(s pretty
much li"e a cat string theory=hang a string !eyond a cat(s reach
and it $ill do %ust a!out anything to get to it.

3ut $hen the cat gets the string# it eels !ored and soon loses
interest.

+n practical terms your demand should out$eigh your supply. 'hen
you aren(t easily availa!le to any guy out there# your demand goes
up in comparison to your supply and this is $here a man $ould eel
strong inner desire to$ards you $hich he $on(t !e a!le to control.

This $ill drive him to do anything and almost everything to see"
your approval in any $ay possi!le.

". A 3oman 3ho is -n9redicta;le.
25

,umans have a strange addiction to$ards unpredicta!ility. 'hen
they aren(t sure a!out $hat(s going to happen ne9t# their
e9citement dou!les.

Most $omen tend to have very predicta!le $ays o doing things#
$hich !ore men to death. &redicta!ility e?uals !oredom simply
!ecause the element o e9citement is lost.

This is $hy it(s very important to challenge men. The more you
challenge them the more they eel the need to impress you# simply
!ecause they $ant to live up to that challenge.

+magine !eing in a situation $ith a guy $ho you sort o li"e and he
ends up saying something o!no9ious li"e# :'ell# + don(t "no$ i
you(re right or me.;

Most $omen $ould ta"e this personally and disappear. 3ut you
aren(t %ust another $oman. 1ou should respond !y saying# :Great#
may!e no$ you can stop staring at me and let me meet a real
man.;

And !am-

1ou %ust hit him !elo$ the !elt. ,e $on(t really "no$ $hat to do
here. And this is $here he $ould thin" ')'- This one seems
dierent than the rest. + must !ehave mysel and $atch $hat + say.

And $ithin seconds you have earned his instant respect and at the
same time you earned the status o that special unpredicta!le
$oman $ho is hard to igure out.

3y saying this# you have sho$n him that you are not going to ta"e
such !ehavior and you have a certain standard you e9pect and
unless he its# you aren(t going to give him the time o day.
26

!. A 3oman 3ho is emotionall1 mat-re.

+n simple terms an emotionally mature $oman is one $ho isn(t
see"ing male attention or approval. They tend to have a very high
selBimage and never let anyone $al" all over them.

These are the type o $omen $ho have everything in their lie
handled very $ell and are never see"ing e9ternal support. These
are the "ind o $omen $ho "no$ that in order to i9 something in
their lie they have to ta"e CDDE responsi!ility or $hatever
happens.

+t(s all a!out !eing the "ind o a $oman $ho doesn(t !lame things
or other people $hen something goes $rong in her lie. And the
!iggest o all=she "no$s ho$ to control her emotions in the
presence o men.

Men al$ays o!serve a emale(s reactions very closely# and $ithin
minutes they can tell $hether a $oman is emotionally mature or
not. They can easily ma"e out $hat you are all a!out !ased on the
$ay you !ehave and tal" in their presence.

/motionally mature $omen are smart $ith their emotions# $hich
means they do not do things on impulse. They rather thin"
everything through and i it seems right# they act.

They never go around see"ing emotional validation or approval
rom men. They act according to certain standards all the time.

#. A 3oman 3ho sets ;o-ndaries and has a certain standard
that sho-ld ;e met ;e.ore she lets a man into her 3orld.

27
5o you "no$ that men eel $hat you eel a!out yoursel8 The
eelings circulating inside you $ill al$ays maniest into certain
!ehaviors# $hich means i you have a high selBimage and have
positive eelings circulating inside you=it $ill maniest as a positive
trait in your personality.

This $ill !e displayed $ith a sense o conidence and calm in your
personality. )n the other hand# i you have lo$ selBesteem and
don(t really eel you deserve anything good in lie# then that too $ill
relect in your personality. And you $ill al$ays come across as the
needy# nervous and clingy type.

The "ey to !eing the ultimate guy magnet is to set certain
!oundaries and re%ect any man $ho doesn(t live up to the standards
you have set. Some $omen might say this is rude. 3ut you aren(t
!eing rude here at all. 1ou are %ust !eing honest.

The message you are giving to the $orld is* + thin" + deserve good
in lie and + thin" + deserve to !e $ith the !est man. + don(t thin"
there is anything $rong $ith $anting the !est or yoursel.

'hen you are the one $ho is !eing the chooser men $ill
automatically try to live up to your e9pectations. 3eing a chooser is
a very attractive ?uality# $hich is hard to ind# and men al$ays ind
themselves su!consciously dra$n to $omen $ith this ?uality.

%. A 3oman men consider irresisti;le.

5o you "no$ that men have a secret code# $hich they use $hen it
comes to the topic o $omen8 A common line most men tend to use
to descri!e a highly attractive $oman is# IA $oman thatFs
irresisti!le(.

No$ $hat e9actly is a highly irresisti!le $oman in the eyes o men8
This is a $oman $ho isn(t %ust too hard to get# has high standards
set and is emotionally mature# !ut she is also someone $ho doesn(t
28
let a man get physical too ast.

+ am not too sure ho$ many $omen actually understand this !ut
some men do %udge $omen !ased on ho$ ast they let a man get
physical.

'omen $ho normally sleep $ith a man $ithin the irst e$ days o
dating al$ays end up getting la!eled as lo$ ?uality. + don(t "no$
$hy men act this $ay# !ut this is ho$ it $or"s.

No$ + am not saying every man out there %udges a $oman !ased
on this. There are al$ays e9ceptions. 3ut it(s a proven act that men
pay more respect to$ards emales $ho ma"e them $ait or se9.

Some $omen actually !elieve that se9 is vital early on or else the
man might not li"e them at all. 3ut guess $hat8 Men don(t need to
!e emotionally attached to you in order to sleep $ith you.

They can sleep $ith you as much as they $ant and at the same
time not get emotionally attached.

Moreover# !y giving him easy se9# you are trying to cover up a
!igger inner issue. The issue o thin"ing you aren(t good enough#
that he might leave you i you don(t do certain things.

+nstead o giving him everything he $ants# you should rather $or"
on yoursel and stop letting men ta"e advantage o you. The
moment you learn to say no and set strict !oundaries# that is the
moment $hen men $ill start respecting you more and you $ill !e
termed as a high ?uality emale.

,m9ortant Note @

Some $omen get carried a$ay too ast and oten end up conessing
their eelings to the guy too early in the relationship. 'hen that
29
happens# the guy goes through a strange emotional process $here
he thin"s# )"- So + have her@no$ $hat8

And the tension and attraction you !uild !y displaying all the traits
o a high ?uality emale are gone.

3y telling him you have all these eelings to$ards him you are
negatively aecting his eeling o independence# leaving him eeling
some$hat trapped=he tries to get out as soon as possi!le.

0irst o all=you should never let a man "no$ $hat you truly eel
a!out him early on !ecause it only scares and over$helms him.
Rather you should "eep it a secret.

5on(t act too interested and at the same time don(t act too
uninterested. This $ill "eep him a !it conused !ut at the same time
highly curious. As $e have already discussed# men ta"e much
longer to commit in comparison to $omen.

Thereore instead o e9pecting the plant to gro$ overnight# give it
time. As long as he isn(t truly sure a!out $hether you are
completely into him or not@attraction $ill al$ays !e there.

30
Section #!?
The ,nvisi;le Tra9 /ost *omen Fall
,nto 7 O.ten 4arm Themselves<Ano3 This Be.ore
,t2s Too Late>
,ave you ever !een around a guy $ho s$ept you o your eet8 And
it elt as i you had ound your ultimate soul mate8 All your riends
told you that he $as the $rong guy !ut you $ere almost !linded !y
his charm8

And sadly# ater a e$ days you reali6e that he isn(t interested in you
anymore and is acting li"e a super %er"=so $hat $ent $rong here8

'ell the pro!lem $ith most $omen is that they try to orm a
relationship out o thin air and set up high e9pectations very early.

'hen you are doing something under the inluence o attraction
you $ill never see the situation or $hat it truly is. 1ou $ill see the
guy as perect even i he has many la$s. All his la$s $ill seem
accepta!le to you and you $on(t !e !othered !y them.

A common e9ample o this is $hen everyone else can clearly see
that the man is a %er" !ut the $oman $ho eels this strong level o
inner attraction overloo"s that. Rather she %ustiies his la$s.

Attraction does ma"e you some$hat !lind to$ards reality and all
you see are good things# even i the !ad out$eighs the good in a
guy.

And the reason $hy it is so addictive is simply !ecause it ma"es you
eel good# and trying to orm a relationship $ith a guy !ased on %ust
your eelings is a sureire $ay to ail.
31

)n the other hand# men are much dierent. They never orm a
relationship %ust !ased on attraction. They al$ays need an
e9tremely good reason !eore they decide to settle do$n. This is
the primary reason $hy some men li"e to date a lot. They might !e
$ith a girl !ut they still try to "eep their options open.

This is $here the emale gro$s e9tremely insecure and does
everything in her po$er to "eep the man. This very act ma"es the
man more scared o !eing stuc" and this is $hen he pulls !ac".

'ith time# $hen the intensity o attraction starts to $ear o# his
la$s !ecome more and more o!vious and that(s $here the $oman
starts seeing everything or the $ay it truly is. She(s oten let
thin"ing# ho$ did + even all or all this8

+t(s an invisi!le trap most $omen all into rom time to time# and
some $omen get trapped in it over and over !y alling or the same
"ind o a!usive men# one ater the other.

So it is e9tremely important that you catch yoursel $hen you eel
you are alling or the same "ind o a guy again. +nstead o letting
your emotions ta"e over you should rather as" yoursel the
ollo$ing ?uestions*

. ,s he a high B-alit1 man and 3ill he ma5e a good .-t-re
mateC

". Are 3e com9ati;le eno-ghC

The reason $hy you should !e e9tremely selective and ensure that
he is a high ?uality man is simply !ecause ending up $ith the
$rong "ind $ill only give you emotional stress day in and day out.

32
3eing stuc" $ith the $rong man is as !ad as !eing stuc" in the
middle o a desert $here you can(t see any possi!le $ay out. /ach
day !ecomes a struggle and you $ill eel li"e you are running on
sand=the harder you run the more you sin".

At the same time the ne9t thing you should "eep in mind is
compati!ility. 1ou should al$ays see ho$ compati!le you are $ith
the guy !eore getting too serious.

0orming a relationship %ust !ased on attraction is !ound to end
sooner or later simply !ecause as you get more and more
comorta!le $ith your partner# the intensity o attraction $ill $ear
a$ay.

And this is the point $hen you $ill need strong compati!ility $ith
your partner or else everything $ill go do$n the drain. Compati!ility
is a level o understanding you share $ith your partner $hich goes
$ay !eyond attraction and it(s the only tool $hich can ma"e
relationships or marriages last orever.

So al$ays preBscreen every guy $ho you ind yoursel alling or#
and really try to analy6e things "eeping the uture in mind !ecause
$hat might eel right momentarily may only harm you in the long
run.

*h1 Do *omen Fall .or Der5sC

Jery common ?uestions + oten get rom people is# :'hy do $omen
all or %er"s8 'hy do nice guys inish last8; And the logical ans$er
to this is that these so called %er"s display all the traits $hich trigger
attraction inside $omen# and that(s $hy they eel this strong inner
desire to !e $ith them.

3ut you see these are the "ind o men $ho $on(t easily settle
do$n# no matter ho$ many high ?uality $omen they seem to
attract. And at the same time these men aren(t really good
33
relationship material in the long run.

The soBcalled nice guys are the ones $ho are really good in the long
run. 3ut the reason $hy these guys al$ays inish last is !ecause
they aren(t s"illed enough in the department o attraction and aren(t
a!le to trigger any eelings in $omen.

That(s the reason + have !een placing a strong emphasis on loo"ing
!eyond attraction. 1ou should al$ays try to see i you are alling or
a guy %ust !ased on the $ay you eel around him or are you also
"eeping the uture in mind and also studying ho$ compati!le he is8

The 0ic5 E9 Artists

+ am not sure i you are a$are o this concept !ut there are men
out there $ho specially train themselves to !e masters at the game
o attraction. &ic"ing up $omen is a sort o a game to them and
they get tremendous pleasure out o it.

There are underground groups all around the $orld $hich train men
speciically in this department. Some men do it or the sheer %oy
and pleasure> some do it to get an ego !oost $hile some do it to
get se9.

A lot o these guys learn all the attraction s$itches $hich universally
$or" on most $omen and use it to get emale attention. ,ave you
ever !een around a guy $ho %ust pulled you right into his reality# as
i he truly "ne$ $hat he $as doing and you had no control over
anything and $ere almost internally orced to all or him# only to
reali6e much later that all he $as truly loo"ing or $as %ust se98 A
lot o $omen actually do end up giving the man easy se9 under the
inluence o emotions.

Another thing + must point out here is that in a lot o cases# %ust
!ecause attraction is so strong $omen tend to still stic" around
these guys even $hen they are $ell a$are that he is only loo"ing
34
or se9.

They oten let the guy have them as riends $ith !eneits# thin"ing
that in the long run something $ill magically happen and he $ill
$ant to !e $ith them. 1ou should never start o as a casual girl
!ecause giving him easy se9 doesn(t mean it $ill turn into a
relationship.

Just li"e it $or"s $ith attraction# you can never !uild a long term
relationship !ased on physical things.

)"- No$ let me give you the other side o the story. Not all players
are !ad=some men actually learn this art to genuinely attract a
good# long term mate. These are the guys $ho aren(t learning all
this to manipulate $omen into li"ing them !ut $ant to !e their !est
sel to attract the right $oman.

Just li"e you are reading this !oo" right no$# $or"ing on !ettering
yoursel in this area# some genuine men do the same. And those
are the "ind o men you should truly !e loo"ing or.

3ut $ait- No$ the !ig ?uestion arisesB ,o$ do + "no$ i he is
genuinely interested in me and isn(t trying to play me8

+t(s very simple A guy $ho is genuinely interested $ill never ma"e
attempts to get too physical $ith you early on. No$ you might say#
:'ell + already "no$ that.; 3ut the pro!lem is a lot o $omen do
"no$ it# and still end up giving the guy easy se9.

'hy8 3ecause they are !linded !y attraction. The impulse o the
moment seems so right that they ind it hard to control themselves
and let the emotion o the moment ta"e over.

This is $here you should catch yoursel and dra$ the line. 5on(t let
a guy have an easy $ay $ith you !ecause you $ill only regret it
35
later on. +nstead o see"ing shortBterm pleasure=ocus on longB
term peace.
+n the coming sections + $ill ela!orate more on this su!%ect and
sho$ you super eective $ays to $eed out !ad men rom the good
ones# and get them to commit to you to orm a long lasting peaceul
relationship.

36
Section# #
The Single /ost ,m9ortant Ae1 to
Fetting *hat =o- *ant O-t o. a Relationshi9>

The single most important "ey to getting $hat you $ant out o a
relationship is to irst decide $hat you really $ant. The reason $hy
a lot o $omen al$ays end up $ith the $rong "ind o a man is
!ecause they aren(t really sure $hat "ind o a man they $ant# and
thereore never ind the right one.

'hen you don(t "no$ $hat you $ant you $ill al$ays end up $ith
the letovers. This is $hy $omen $ho ta"e things as they come
along al$ays have to go through several painul relationships one
ater the other in the ?uest to ind the perect one.

The t$o most important ?uestions you must as" yoursel are* 'hat
are you loo"ing or and $hat are your e9pectations out o a man8 A
lot o $omen !elieve in the airy tale dream# thin"ing prince
charming $ill come one day and s$eep them o their eet.

3ut in reality it really doesn(t $or" that $ay. +t all seems real easy in
!oo"s and movies !ut in reality it(s a completely dierent !all game.
So the irst thing to "eep in mind is to "eep your e9pectations
realistic.

+ have spo"en to so many $omen $ho complain a!out ho$ men
never understand them and ho$ they never get their needs met.
This is $here + al$ays as" them# :'hat $ere you e9pecting8;

And the ans$ers + get are al$ays mind !oggling. Some $omen tend
to set their e9pectations so high that no man can ever meet it. Trust
me on this one. There is no man out there $ho $ill give you special
treatment# love you unconditionally# !uy lo$ers each day# ta"e you
37
out to special places and $on(t e9pect anything at the end o the
day.

Such a man doesn(t really e9ist. 3ut since a lot o $omen never
!other to understand ho$ men actually unction# they al$ays
e9pect them to live up to their unrealistic e9pectations.

This goes !ac" to the same concept o thin"ing that a man $ould
$ant the same things as you $ant. 3ut $e have already discussed
that it doesn(t really $or" that $ay.

'hat you $ant and $hat your man may $ant may !e t$o
completely dierent things.

And this is the main reason $hy a lot o $omen end up unsatisied
in their relationship. 'hen they set their e9pectations too high it(s
li"e an accident $aiting to happen. There $ill !e a time $hen their
e9pectations $on(t !e met and they $ill e9perience tremendous
pain and heartache !ecause o it.

The only $ay out o this is to "eep your e9pectations realistic and
at the same time don(t e9pect too much early on in a relationship.
1ou $ill al$ays end up unhappy and unsatisied at the end o the
day i your e9pectations are too high.

&erection does not e9ist# especially $hen you are dealing $ith
another human !eing# even the one $ho is your partner.

This is the main cause o conlict in many relationships. The $oman
sets her e9pectations too high early on> the man doesn(t live up to
her e9pectations and each day turns into an argument.

0or e9ample*

5uring the early stages o their relationship John used to !ring
38
lo$ers or Jen every Saturday. 3ut as time passed he started
getting more and more involved in his $or"# and lo$ers stopped
coming.

The more he orgot a!out it# the more disappointed Jen elt and
inally decided to tal" it over $ith him.

Jen ,o$ come you never !ring me lo$ers anymore8

John )h- + am so sorry. + have !een so stressed $ith $or" lately
that it didn(t occur to me.

Jen Seems li"e one day you $ill orget me as $ell.

John KGets irritatedL $hy do you thin" + have !een $or"ing so
hard8 + do it all or you. 3ut you don(t get it do you8

Jen e9pected John to !ring her lo$ers every other day# so it $as an
e9pectation she had set. And the act that John $asn(t living up to
this e9pectation really rustrated her.

3ut you see this is the $rong $ay to approach the situation. She
is only thin"ing a!out her o$n needs here and is ignoring John(s
needs. She is ignoring the act that he is actually ma"ing an e9tra
eort $ith his $or" and is under a lot o stress.

'hen you have an e9pectation and are see"ing its ulillment rom
your partner you may ignore his needs $hich oten leads to huge
arguments.

Again- 5itch the illusion o a perect man. 1ou are dealing $ith a
human !eing and human !eings aren(t perect. There $ill !e certain
e9pectations $hich $ill not !e met.

39
There is no such thing as a perect relationship. +nstead o getting
all $or"ed up a!out it you should thin" over it rationally.

,t2s not his d-t1 to do things 1o- e89ect.

This might !e a hard concept to understand !ut this $ill save you a
lot o emotional pain and $ill help you "eep your relationships
healthy. 'hen $omen get into a relationship $ith a man they
e9pect him to act in certain $ays and do certain things# as i it is his
special duty to do so.

The act is that this is one o the things men ear the most. 'hen
$omen e9pect them to do things it oten over$helms them. 'e
have already discussed that men don(t really commit unless they
have a !ig reason to do so. 3ut orming e9pectations only scares
them more.

They start earing that they might lose their independence
altogether or may!e you are trying to trap them. And this is $here
they instantly $ithdra$ $here they either avoid you or a e$ days
or start ma"ing e9cuses as to $hy they aren(t ready to have a
relationship yet.

A very important act you must understand is that it(s not his %o! to
"eep you happy. +n act- + you are !an"ing your level o happiness
on his actions then you have already planned or disaster.

+ your sense o happiness comes rom $hat a man does or doesn(t
do or you then you are very li"ely to encounter a rude a$a"ening.
The only person $ho can "eep you happy is yoursel. Getting a man
in your lie can never give you the happiness you are loo"ing or.

A lot o $omen have this idea that $hen they $ill ind :Mr.
Right;they $ill !e happy. 'e all "no$ that a $oman e9periences
happiness at the !eginning o a relationship# !ut i she e9pects him
to ulill her and ma"e her happy $hen she is not happy hersel# the
40
relationship $ill !e a !ig disappointment.

*hat 1o- sho-ld not e89ect<

C. Stop e9pecting that he is Mr. Right only !ecause he ma"es
you eel good.

Al$ays ta"e your time !eore you conclude that he is Mr. Right.
Never thin" you have ound the right one %ust !ecause you eel
attracted to him. Relationships don(t survive %ust !ased on
attraction. The man has to !e compati!le.

Thereore al$ays give it time !eore you thin" a!out having a
relationship.

M. Spending some time together or even having se9 doesn(t
mean you are in a relationship.

This is another dilemma $omen al$ays ind themselves in. They
eel that i a man acts as i he li"es them and they end up getting
physical=they assume it(s a relationship.

Guess $hat8 Men don(t need to !e attached to you to get physical
$ith you. They can get physical $ith you and do the same $ith
another emale ater a e$ days $ithout orming any attachment.

N. Men ta"e time to commit so don(t e9pect anything overnight.

Again# even i a man is sho$ing signs that he may !e interested in
having a relationship it doesn(t mean that(s going to happen right
a$ay. 'omen conuse his interest $ith commitment and thin" that
i he is interested=he must !e committed.

41
This is $here $omen orm all these unrealistic e9pectations only to
reali6e later on that none o them $ere met and this is $here they
end up disappointed.

Men ta"e time $hen it comes to the matter o commitment and
they are very ?uic" to change their mind as $ell# $hich means they
may !e committed to you today !ut tomorro$ they might !e
see"ing other options.

3ut this is nothing to !e $orried a!out. +n the coming sections + $ill
sho$ you ho$ you can easily get a man to commit $ithout any
resistance.

*hat 1o- m-st do:

C. Get more selective. 4earn to re%ect men $ho you "no$ $ill
never commit.

This isn(t %ust important=it(s a!solutely vital that you set some
!oundaries early on. 1ou are responsi!le or $hat happens to you
in
your lie thereore i you let the $rong "ind o a man into your lie
then it(s your o$n ault and no one else can !e !lamed or it.

There is nothing $rong $ith re%ecting men $ho don(t match up. +t(s
important to let men "no$ $hat you truly e9pect out o a mate.
Remem!er# lie is too short to deal $ith the unnecessary drama# so
learn to do this more oten.

M. +t(s completely o" to date as many men as you please to ind
the right one.

Most $omen limit their options $hen it comes to the type o men
they date and oten miss out on $hat is truly out there. There are
42
good men out there !ut you $on(t really "no$ that they e9ist unless
you go out and try your luc".

No$ meeting a lot o men doesn(t really mean you have to get
physical $ith them or orm any attachments. 1ou are in the
intervie$ phase. +n other $ords you are si6ing up your options. 1ou
are actually iguring out $hat(s truly out there !eore you ma"e your
decision.

So it(s completely o" to meet several men to ind the right one.

N. +t(s important to %udge a man(s ?ualities early on.

+ you are $ith a man $ho isn(t sure a!out settling do$n and $hen
as"ed a!out it=gave you a conusing ans$er=that(s the "ind you
$ant to avoid. 1ou see# unless he is loo"ing or a long term
relationship %ust li"e you are# $hy $ould you $ant to spend time
$ith him any$ay8 So it(s important to come to this conclusion early
on and ilter out men $ho don(t match up.

A very interesting thing happens $hen you act this $ay and preB
select men !ased on their ?ualities. They see this as a very rare
?uality and are oten attracted to $omen $ho act this $ay.

3y acting this $ay you are sho$ing them that you aren(t going to
settle or anything !ut the !est. And at the same time you are not
desperate or needy or a man li"e most other $omen are. 1ou
aren(t $aiting or some guy to choose you> rather you preBselect
them !ecause you !elieve you deserve the !est.

This $ill ma"e every man see you as that rare high ?uality $oman
and you $on(t have to struggle to get the man you desire into your
lie.
43
Section# %
The Biggest Fear /en 4ave The1 Don2t
*ant *omen To Ano3<
Men have a secret ear that most $omen are completely o!livious
to. This is the ear that prevents him rom ta"ing things to the ne9t
level and opening himsel up to a deeper connection $ith a
$oman.

So $hat is this ear8

+t(s the ear o !eing stuc" in a horri!le relationship. This is also the
primary reason $hy some men are considered to !e commitment
pho!ic.

The very ear o !eing stuc" $ith the $rong "ind o a $oman ma"es
them $ant to ind the perect $oman. 'hen they eel a $oman
isnFt perect# they oten don(t even give her a chance to prove
hersel to them.

Men have the ear that i they end up $ith the $rong "ind o a
$oman they might miss out on all the good things lie has to oer
and their lie $ill !ecome one dry e9perience $ith no real
e9citement.

This is another reason $hy some men "eep on dating one $oman
ater another and never really thin" a!out settling do$n# even $hen
the $oman they are $ith seems to !e the right one.

So does this mean these men $on(t commit at all8 +n simple terms
the ans$er is no. There $ill !e a time $hen they $ill !e open to
commitment !ut you al$ays have e9ceptions.

44
As discussed in the last section# you should al$ays preBselect men
!ased on $hether they are $illing to settle do$n or not and al$ays
avoid men $ho aren(t really sure a!out $here they $ant to go in
terms o a relationship.

Nevertheless# in a lot o situations $omen are the main reason
!ehind a man e9periencing such ears. Some $omen su!consciously
intensiy these ears in their partners %ust !y acting in certain $ays
around him.
Remem!er in the section a!out attraction $e discussed that a man
can(t control $ho he eels attracted to and $ho he doesn(t eel
attracted to8 +t happens !ased on $hether you act conident or not
$hen youFre around him.

A similar thing applies in this situation as $ell. 'hen $omen act
insecure around men# men can(t help !ut eel some$hat trapped
and see" an instant escape.

0or e9ample*

Telling a man you love him too early in a relationship $ill only ma"e
him eel trapped. Since $omen are more emotional and sensitive in
comparison to men> they eel that sharing their true eelings $ill
actually $or" in their avor# !ut it doesn(t.

'hen a man is told that you love him too early he $ill thin"# ,o$
can she !e in love $ith me this ast8 + don(t thin" + am ready to
commit to her yet. + must get out o all this mess !eore she traps
me.

And that(s $here the man starts ignoring the $oman# not ans$ering
her calls etc.

Men don(t li"e to !e pushed and they $ant to !e in control most o
the time. Thereore never try to push your eelings on them.
45

The most common traits o $omen $ho trigger the ear o !eing
trapped in male psychology are*

. Acting too need1 or des9erate to3ards him.

'hen you act too needy or desperate you are only giving out the
vi!e that you !elieve you lac" something and need his approval or
acceptance. 'e oten pursue $hat retreats rom us and $e actually
retreat rom $hat pursues us.

So as long as you pursue a man hard he $ill al$ays retreat. 1ou $ill
al$ays !e an emotional !urden to him in one $ay or another and
he $ill al$ays see" to escape your company.

". Tal5ing negativel1 a;o-t others or having a negative
o-tloo5 to3ards li.e.

This is another thing $hich su!consciously pushes men a$ay. Men
hate to !e around $omen $ho constantly tal" negatively a!out
other $omen or society at large. They hate to !e around $omen
$ho al$ays !lame someone or something or the situations they are
acing in lie.

'hen such a thing happens# the guy $ill instantly la!el you as a
!elo$ average $oman and $ill never see you as a potential mate#
no matter $hat you do rom that point on. ,e might stay $ith you
or physical reasons !ut $ill al$ays resist ta"ing things to the ne9t
level.

!. Sa1ing negative things a;o-t 1o-r 9ast li.e.

Some $omen tal" in very nasty $ays a!out their past relationships
or !oyriends they have !een $ith. And a vital act they do not
understand is that everything you say a!out your past is
46
considered vital eed!ac"# on $hich a man orms his %udgment
a!out you.

+ you descri!e your past to him in e9tremely negative $ays and say
very nasty things a!out your e9 then you send across an e9tremely
!ad vi!e and he $ill eel that you are carrying e9tra emotional
!aggage rom your past.

At the same time he(ll thin"# is she telling me all her past !oyriends
dumped her and $ere a!usive to$ards her8 There must !e
something $rong $ith her# $hich is $hy she is al$ays getting
dumped.

And this is something most men don(t $ant to deal $ith at all. They
ear !eing trapped $ith the $rong "ind o a $oman and this is the
perect e9ample o such a $oman.

#. Not having 1o-r emotions -nder control.

+ you act in an overly sensitive manner around a man and create
!ig arguments over small issues# get angry over minor things and
get upset too easily# he $ill only see you as someone $ho is still
emotionally immature and $ill never thin" a!out !eing in a
relationship $ith you.

%. Tr1ing too hard to im9ress him.

Men are very ?uic" to "no$ $hen a $oman is trying too hard and
$hen she is %ust !eing hersel. Trying hard is a very common sign o
a lo$ ?uality $oman and men can(t help !ut eel resistance to$ards
such $omen.

1ou should never try to get him to li"e you> rather you should try
!eing your true sel. The harder you try to get him the urther he
$ill pull a$ay.
47

&. Disc-ssing 1o-r iss-es and 9ro;lems 3ith him.

Guess $hat8 Men aren(t good listeners $hen it comes to this sort o
thing. They live in a dierent reality and operate in dierent $ays.

'hen you discuss your pro!lems $ith them they may see you as a
$ea" minded person or not see"ing solutions on your o$n. Men
don(t understand that $hen $omen discuss issues or pro!lems they
are %ust e9pecting him to listen and understand her emotions.

3ut in the male $orld# discussing your pro!lems and not doing
anything to solve them is a very $ea" sign and $ill push them
a$ay. A therapist $ill listen to your pro!lems !ut a man $on(t. They
shut do$n $hen $omen discuss their issues $ith them.

So in a nutshell# you must understand that men treasure reedom in
a !ig $ay. Thereore any act !y a $oman $hich hints that his
reedom might !e at sta"e $ill ma"e him shut do$n completely.

The $ay to get him to commit to you is to act and !ehave in $ays
$hich indicate that he can have his reedom even $hen he is in a
relationship. +n the ne9t section# $e $ill discuss this in urther
detail.

48
Section# &
4o3 To /a5e A /an Commit Even ,. 4e ,s
Rel-ctant To Do So At First<
Some $omen eel that they can tal" a man into commitment !ut
guess $hat8 This is the astest $ay to drive him a$ay. Al$ays
remem!er that you can never get him to do $hat you $ant him to
do !y trying to persuade him. ,e(ll %ust resist and $ill only gro$
more and more distant $ith time.

The ma%or pro!lem $ith $omen is that they usually $ant to move
the relationship along aster than men do# ailing to understand the
act that it ta"es time to !uild a strong !ond and men preer to ta"e
the slo$ route.

Trying to rush things in this department $ith a man is li"e trying to
ill a small paper !ag $ith too many things=it(s only a matter o
time !eore the !ag tears and everything alls out.

0irst let me tell you $hat not to do i you $ant your man to
commit*

C. ,is e9pectations and desires $ill !e dierent rom yours
thereore do not e9pect that he(ll $ant $hat you $ant.

M. Stop trying to get him to commit too soon !ecause this $ill only
ma"e him eel as i he is !eing pressured into doing something he
doesn(t $ant to do.

N. 5on(t stic" around a man e9pecting he may change and $ant to
commit in the uture. 7nless he sho$s intentions o settling do$n
$ith you early on# you shouldn(t assume that he $ill change
49
anytime soon.

An important point + $ant to discuss here is ho$ some $omen
never let the man "no$ $hat they e9pect# !ut are strongly
disappointed $hen he does something else.

This oten happens $hen a $oman ears that she might scare the
man a$ay so she "eeps her e9pectations to hersel.

There is no $ay around this. /ither you have to !e completely
honest $ith your desires early on or have no e9pectations at all.

+ don(t get $hy some $omen act so surprised $hen a man does
something they least e9pected him to do. + mean thin" a!out it- ,e
can(t magically read your mind and "no$ $hat you $ant. Thereore
it is very important to not %ust !e honest !ut very direct a!out your
desires $ith him.

)"# no$ that $e "no$ $hat not to do# let me tell you ho$ you can
easily get him to commit.

+n order to ma"e a man commit the ollo$ing re?uirements need to
!e met*

C. 1ou must prove that you are a high ?uality $oman.

M. Sho$ him that you have almost no or very little e9pectations.

N. 1ou must prove to him that you are the catch.

O. Give him the git o missing you rom time to time.

H. 2eep him conused !y sho$ing interest one day and total
50
disinterest the ne9t.

. =o- m-st 9rove that 1o- are a high B-alit1 3oman.

'e have already discussed this concept !eore !ut let me add a e$
more points. The one $ho tries the least in a relationship is al$ays
the one $ho controls it. 'hen you aren(t as emotionally invested as
your partner# the !all $ill al$ays !e in your court.

1our %o! as a high ?uality emale is to never try too hard and at
times# don(t try at all. 'e already "no$ $e pursue $hat retreats
rom us and i you can prove to a man that you aren(t going to
chase him he $ill eel the heat and $ill !e pulled to$ards you.

So your %o! should !e to*

Call him a !it less.

Maintain a high standard and let the man live up to it.

Act as i getting a man isn(t really on top o your priority list right
no$ and you have other important things in lie you need to ta"e
care o.

These are %ust some o the things you should do and the more you
do them# the more he $ill !e pulled to$ards you.

". Sho3 him that 1o- have almost no or ver1 little
e89ectations.

This is the hardest or most $omen to understand. + al$ays get
$omen as"ing me# :So are you saying + should not e9pect anything
at all8 'hat i he %ust runs a$ay to another $oman8;
51

And + al$ays ans$er !y saying# :'hen you set your e9pectations
too high# you are al$ays setting yoursel up or ailure. And $hen
those e9pectations aren(t met# you $ill al$ays end up $ith
arguments that go no$here and scare the man a$ay.

1ou don(t $ant to do anything that $ill ma"e him eel as i he may
!ecome trapped# as men $ant reedom at all costs. 'hen you act
li"e a $oman $ho isn(t e9pecting anything# something magical
starts to happen.

Men start thin"ing# this $oman seems so cool. She isn(t li"e other
demanding $omen $ho $ant me to do things or them all the
time. This one is so dierent. + $onder i she li"es me.

'hen you give the man the git o independence# he automatically
$ants to commit to you. ,e automatically $ants to do things that
you $ill en%oy.

A $oman $ho doesn(t pressure a man to do certain things is a rare
ind in the eyes o most men> i you can !e that $oman# he $ill
instantly put you in that rare category and $ill al$ays ma"e
attempts to "eep you happy.

!. =o- m-st 9rove to him that 1o- are the catch.

1our %o! is to convey that you are a pri6e to have and in order to
have you he must !e on his toes or else he might lose you orever.
As long as you act li"e a !ig challenge and sho$ a man that he has
to prove himsel to you he $ill al$ays ma"e an eort to ensure he
doesn(t scre$ up.

'hen you are the selector and he is the selectee you automatically
have the dominant role in the relationship. This is the point $hen he
$on(t hesitate to commit in order to "eep you in his lie. Al$ays
remem!er that $e are scared to lose $hat $e value the most.
52

At the same time this ma"es him reali6e that may!e he isn(t good
enough or you and $henever this happens# something orces him
to do everything to earn your approval and acceptance.

'hy do you thin" some men !uy lo$ers# ta"e $omen out to
e9pensive places and ma"e sure they say the right thing all the
time8 'hat are they trying to do here8

They are simply trying to ma"e sure they don(t scre$ up their
chances and i you can get the man in this spot# he $ill almost
al$ays reely commit.

#. Five him the gi.t o. missing 1o- .rom time to time.

This is one thing $omen don(t do as they ear that he may ind
someone else. 5o you "no$ that attraction intensiies $hen you
can(t have someone or are a!out to lose someone8

The more he misses you the more he $ill $ant to commit# !ut that
$on(t happen i you are overly availa!le all the time. Stop ans$ering
all his calls# try to act !usy at times and i possi!le do not contact
him# or a e$ days# once in a $hile.

+n act# do not call him unless he calls you irst. 1ou see# this
concept is pretty simple=the more you pull !ac"=the harder he $ill
pursue you.

'e all $ant $hat $e can(t have and once you sho$ him that may!e
he can(t have you# his interest $ill s"yroc"et. ,ere is the !iggest
secret o all=men $ill do anything to "eep you $hen they ear they
might lose you.

'hen you give him some e9tra space and don(t contact him you are
triggering this ear in his mind# and $hen you hold yoursel !ac"
53
longer than normal and don(t contact him at all he $ill start
thin"ing*

'hy hasn(t she called me lately8

+s she !usy $ith something8

,as she ound someone ne$8

+ must call her and ind out $hat(s going on.

+t(s li"e a pressure coo"er eect. All these thoughts clog up the
man(s mind li"e steam in a pressure coo"er and it(s only a matter o
time until it all comes out. All you have to do is to $ait or the
steam to !uild up and let it come out.

'hen a man(s ear o losing you is at its pea"# that(s the time $hen
he $ill do anything to ensure he $on(t lose you. And this is $hen
you $ill ind him ready to commit.

'e see e9amples o this all around us. ,o$ many times do $e
come across situations $hen a man had to !e a$ay rom his
$oman or a month or so# only to gro$ more and more desperate
and inally reali6e he has deep eelings or her and can(t live $ithout
her8

+t(s really important to give the man this special git o missing you
rom time to time.

%. Aee9 him con.-sed ;1 sho3ing interest one da1 and total
disinterest the ne8t.

'hen you "eep a man conused and give out mi9ed signals that
54
ma"e him thin" you aren(t really sure a!out him# his attraction or
you goes through the roo. 1ou see# this is the "ind o unpredicta!le
!ehavior $hich $ill "eep any man glued to you i you learn ho$ to
display it rom time to time.

No$# you can(t do it directly !ecause it $ill come out as rude> the
right $ay to do this is to ta"e the indirect route.

,ere is a good e9ample. Tell a man that you $ill call him in a e$
minutes. Then don(t call him at all. ,e $ill pro!a!ly call you !ac"
as"ing $hy you didn(t. Respond !y saying# :)h something came up.
+(m sorry.;

And this is $hen he $ill thin"# so +(m not on top o her priority list8
She isn(t sho$ing any interest in me anymore# + $onder $hat(s
going on in her mind. + !etter do something or else she might leave
me.

And again# the moment he reali6es that you aren(t giving him as
much importance as you used to# he $ill get strong inner urges to
prove his $orth to you.

Remem!er in the earlier sections# $e discussed $hy you should
never let a man "no$ ho$ you truly eel a!out him early in the
relationship8 'e already "no$ that this only gives him the eeling
that he already has you and he $ill tend to lose interest there
ater8

This is the main reason $hy. 1ou have to sho$ him that may!e you
li"e him !ut you still aren(t sure and he $ill have to do something
real great to convince you.

5rop in the ollo$ing line $hile in conversation $ith a guy you $ant
to have a relationship $ith*

1ou "no$# + don(t $ant to end up $ith the $rong guy# so + li"e to
55
"eep my options open.;

This $ill ma"e the guy instantly thin"# so is she saying + am the
$rong "ind o a guy or her8 5oes it mean she isn(t that interested
in me8 + must do something right no$ or else she might o $ith
some other guy-

And again- This is $hen he $ill do almost anything and everything
in his po$er to earn your admiration.

+ you pull MD steps !ac"# he $ill do the hard $or" o $al"ing those
MD steps to get to you. At the same time# $hen you use these
!ehaviors and ma"e the man $or" or your attention# he $ill easily
ta"e the step o commitment %ust to "eep you happy.

56
Section# $
4o3 *omen Aill Their Relationshi9s
And Never RealiGe ,t
)ne o the !iggest mista"es some $omen ma"e is stic"ing to the
same guy# e9pecting him to change his mind a!out her someday.
They oten tend to try the persistent approach# thin"ing# he $ill
develop eelings or me i + "eep at it.

They oten complain that they can(t seem to get a man to commit
even $hen they are doing everything right. 1ou see# as a lot o
$omen aren(t very educated $hen it comes to understanding men.
They !elieve that $hat they(re doing is right.

And oten times these are the things $hich do them more harm
than good. 1ou simply can(t ma"e a guy magically commit to you !y
persisting. 1ou can(t ma"e him change his mind a!out you !y trying
harder and harder.

Rather you are only ma"ing things $orse or yoursel and it $ill get
to a point $here the relationship $ill !e almost nonBe9istent.

The mista"e most $omen ma"e is they push harder $hen the guy
pulls !ac" !ecause they ear he might leave them# !ut $hen you
push harder he pulls !ac" more.

And this only gro$s $ith time until it gets to the point that he
simply can(t thin" o you as relationship material anymore !ecause
he has pulled !ac" so much.

Men don(t ma"e decisions !ased on pressure. 1ou can(t !eg# plead#
pressure or argue your $ay !ac" into their hearts.

57
There is only one thing $hich $or"s here and that is giving the man
his space every time he pulls !ac". 1ou should hold your ground
and not try to pursue him. +t only scares him more.

'hen you push harder he assumes that you must !e needy and
that(s $hen he ears he might get trapped $ith you. This urther
urges him to pull !ac" more and more $ith time.

At the same time# stop doing special things or him# li"e $riting long
letters or trying to convince him to li"e you. A lot o $omen try to
ma"e the man happy !y coo"ing great meals# giving se9 etc. 3ut
the man can al$ays sense that and only pulls !ac" !ecause he
"no$s that you have another motive !ehind all this.

Thereore even $hen you do all these great things or him he $ill
still pull !ac". And this is the most conusing part or many $omen.
The act they ail to reali6e is that men operate in dierent $ays
and they don(t $ant the same things that $omen $ant.

'hen you are more emotionally invested in the relationship than
your mate you $ill al$ays have less control over $hat actually
happens or the direction your relationship ta"es.

The harder you try the more distant he $ill get# hurting you even
more# pushing you to try harder# $hich $ill ma"e him eel the heat
and distance himsel urther.

The only $ay out o this is to hold your ground and not to pursue
the man $hen he starts to pull !ac". Rather you should cut out all
contact or a e$ days. 'hen you don(t pursue him you are proving
some very important points to him. 1ou are sho$ing him that*

B 1our sense o happiness isn(t dependent on him.
B 1ou $on(t chase him at any cost.
B ,e isn(t on top o your priority list.
58

And this is $hen he $ill start thin"ing# + $onder $hy she hasn(t
contacted me lately# and a !unch o other ?uestions arise and the
pressure coo"er eect starts to ta"e place# $hich $ill drive him to
push !ac" to$ards you $ith t$ice the intensity.

'hen you irmly hold your position he $ill almost al$ays come !ac"
to you# !ut $hen you pursue him# he $ill al$ays pull a$ay.

1ou have to ma"e it clear to him that you don(t $ant to control or
pressure him into doing something he doesn(t really $ant to do. As
long as a man eels ree around you he $ill al$ays $ant to come
!ac".

So the "ey to a successul relationship is to hold your position and
give the man his space $hen he needs it.

59
Section# (
4o3 To Read A /an2s /ind And
Fig-re O-t 4is Tr-e ,ntentions
The most common ?uestions + oten get rom my readers are# :,o$
do + "no$ i he is really $illing to open up and commit8 ,o$ can +
!e sure that he %ust doesn(t $ant a casual ling and he is really
serious a!out me8;

+t is very easy to igure out a guy(s true intentions> the main reason
$hy most $omen ind themselves conused over this is that they
are under the inluence o attraction.

As you already "no$# $hen you are e9periencing strong levels o
attraction or a certain guy# you never notice his la$s and only
ocus on his ?ualities. This is e9actly $hat happens to $omen $ho
ind themselves conused over the man they are $ith. They are so
!linded !y attraction that they can(t see things or $hat they really
are.

So the irst "ey is to determine your level o attraction to$ards a
certain guy and at the same time decide i this attraction is !linding
you rom seeing the truth8

+ he tal"s a!out settling do$n# "ids# amily etc.# then it(s o!vious he
is the commitmentBtype and is $illing to ta"e things to the ne9t
level. 3ut most men aren(t really this direct.

Men oten communicate in indirect $ays and in order to truly igure
out $hat his intentions are# you should !e a!le to read !et$een the
lines.

60
,ere is $hat you should do. 5rop in the ollo$ing line $hile in
conversation $ith him*

So $hat(s your vie$ on settling do$n at some point8;

+ he gets a !it nervous and either delects the ?uestion altogether
or gives a conusing ans$er# then he isn(t sure a!out $hat he $ants
in this department and is not very li"ely to commit.

At the same time i he never as"s you a!out your amily# your past
and deeper things# then he is deinitely not going to commit.

A man $ill automatically as" you some very personal ?uestions
$hen he is in the deciding phase o $hether he $ants to commit to
you or not. 3ut i he never has a serious conversation $ith you#
then it only means that he is "eeping you around until he inds
someone !etter.

Again# some $omen eel that i he isn(t ready to commit right no$
he might !e ready to commit at some time in the uture. Stic"ing
around $ith a man $ho isn(t sure a!out $here he $ants to ta"e the
relationship is the same as !eing stuc" on a !us $ith a driver $ho
isn(t sure a!out the routes.

,e might ta"e a let or an une9pected right !ut it is guaranteed that
he $on(t ta"e you to your destination on time. Stic"ing around a
guy $hen you already "no$ he may not commit is as !ad as putting
your hand in a ire and letting it !urn.

The longer you stay $ith him the more you(ll eel the !urn# simply
!ecause his mind isn(t going to change $ith time. 1ou $ill only
e9perience more and more pain as days pass !ecause you are
hoping or something that isn(t going to happen.

1ou simply can(t change a man and he $ill never change !ecause
you $ant him to. 1ou might !e $ondering* 'ell# $hat do + do i +
61
am already stuc" in such a situation8

'ell# + $ould say you should hold your ground and ma"e your
intentions clear to him. 4et him "no$ that you e9pect a certain level
o commitment and you are at a point $here you $ant to settle
do$n. 3ut do it in a very nonBneedy $ay.

At the same time# ma"e it a!solutely clear to him that i he isn(t
$illing to commit then it(s ine as $ell. +n other $ords# you aren(t
orcing him to do anything he doesn(t $ant to do# !ut you aren(t
going to stic" around i he doesn(t $ant to ta"e the relationship to
another level.

+ he reuses to commit# do not disagree or argue $ith him. Act as i
you aren(t really that !othered $ith his ans$er and say this*

1ou "no$# you(re right- May!e it(s a good thing or !oth o us.;

And then disappear or a e$ days and don(t contact him at all. P
times out o CD# he $ill come running !ac" to you !ecause you held
your ground and sho$ed him that you aren(t $illing to sit around
and $ait or him.

'hen he contacts you# let him "no$ you are having an a!solute
!last and your lie is !etter than ever. At the same time don(t tell
him much a!out yoursel=let him "no$ that you are super !usy
and $ill catch up $ith him soon.

This $ill ma"e him thin"# $ait a minute- So she is !etter o $ithout
me8 5oes this mean she $asn(t happy $ith me8 'hat does it mean
i she is having an a!solute !last8 ,as she already moved on and
ound someone else8 And this gets him more curious.

Men get clear a!out things only $hen they are given enough space
to ma"e their minds up. &ressure al$ays ma"es them nervous>
$hen you tac"le the situation this $ay you $ill almost al$ays get
62
$hat you $ant.

3ut you still might !e $ondering# $hat i he doesn(t come !ac"8
'ell in that case you $ere already ighting a $ar you lost ages ago.
This $as !ound to happen !ut it(s !etter sooner than later !ecause
it $ill save you a lot o time and heartache.

Really thin" a!out this# $hy $ould you $ant to !e $ith a guy $ho
isn(t sure a!out $hat he $ants8 'hy $ould you $ant to !e $ith a
guy $ho is very li"ely to continue see"ing !etter $omen even $hen
he is $ith you8 + mean# really thin" a!out this on a deep level.

+ you ind yoursel struggling to let such a guy go# then you are
under the inluence o intense attraction and this $ill cause a lot o
pain or months or even years to come i you don(t do something
a!out it no$. The attraction $ill eventually end# and there is no use
$asting your time on something that isn(t going to $or" out.

1ou have one lie# and it(s limited. 1ou aren(t going to live orever#
so stop $asting your lie on unnecessary emotional stress and learn
to ma"e the right choices or yoursel.

63
Section# '
Do =o- Al3a1s End E9 *ith LosersC
4ere ,s *hat =o- /-st Read<
Are you a $oman $ho oten inds hersel in the company o the
$rong "ind o men8 5o you oten ind yoursel alling or the same
"ind o a!usive %er" that uses you and thro$s you a$ay# over and
over again8

Are you tired o dating !ecause you al$ays end up in the same old
situation# even $hen it starts out great8 5oes every man you attract
act in the ollo$ing $ays ater a certain point*

B Acts overly distant $hen he sho$ed a lot o interest at irst8
B Stops calling and plays mind games that drive you cra6y8
B Stops treating you the $ay he used to and acts e9tremely
immature8

5o you oten $onder $hy you %ust can(t seem to have more than a
couple o dates $ith a good man !eore he starts to act distant#
stops calling and even avoids you completely8

+ get so many $omen telling me that the "ind o man they desire
doesn(t really e9ist and they al$ays end up $ith the losers. This is
!ecause these $omen are dealing $ith an internal issue $hich can(t
!e solved e9ternally.

4et me as" you something here. 5oes any o this sound amiliar8
1ou meet a guy on the internet or some$here in pu!lic and decide
to go out. 1ou get a really good eeling a!out this one.

64
1ou have a really great time $ith him# and you are positive that he
$ill $ant to ta"e you out again sometime. 3ut days go !y and he
doesn(t call. Then one day you inally decide to call him.

+t seems he isn(t really that enthusiastic to hear rom you. +t doesn(t
even sound li"e the same person you $ent out $ith# !ut he agrees
to meet you nevertheless. 1ou go out again !ut this date seems a
lot dierent.

,e doesn(t seem to !e as enthusiastic as he $as on the irst date.
+n act# it seems as i he is in a hurry. ,e invites you to his place to
$atch a movie together and you "indly agree.

And the moment you enter his house it seems li"e an animal has
possessed him. ,e tries to get close to you and ma"es you
e9tremely uncomorta!le. 1ou "no$ $hat(s on his mind. ,e
attempts to "iss you !ut you don(t let him. And this is $here you
ind an e9cuse and e9it. And the same old pattern continues.

Sound amiliar8 5oes it ma"e you eel hopeless8

5o you oten ind as"ing yoursel the ollo$ing ?uestions*

'hy are good men al$ays ta"en and + al$ays get the losers8
'hy are men al$ays loo"ing or se9=is that the only thing they
thin" a!out8
+ must !e saying or doing something $rong that scares them
a$ay.
May!e + am %ust too unattractive to ind the right guy.
'hy does every man lose interest in me as he gets to "no$ me
more8

And this is $here the unthin"a!le starts to happen. 'omen $ho
ind themselves in such situations start compromising and end up
settling or losers. +t(s an inner eeling o not !eing good enough
65
$hich drives them to ta"e such actions.

5o you "no$ that $omen $ho stay $ith a man $hen they already
"no$ he is the $rong one actually ear !eing a!andoned8 That(s
$hy they stic" around any sort o guy# even i it harms them in the
long term.

And this happens !ecause the $oman doesn(t !elieve she can do
any !etter. 1es# it(s her o$n !elie system that ma"es her pic" loser
ater loser.

/ven i she does manage to get a decent guy she al$ays ends up
driving him a$ay !y acting overly needy or clingy. The moment she
reali6es she has inally landed a decent guy# her !rain goes on high
alert. +t tells her she has a history o scre$ing up $ith decent men#
and she !etter do something special or else the man $ill run a$ay.

This is $hat drives her to try a !it too hard# pushing the man a$ay.
/ventually she inds hersel !ac" in the same desperate 6one o
conusion $here she can(t really igure out a reason $hy all good
men run a$ay rom her.

Men al$ays react !ased on the $ay you act around them. 1our
actions and !ehavior $ill deine $hether they $ill !e attracted to
you or eel resistance to$ards you.

Thereore i a $oman has dated or !een married to an a!usive man
in the past# itFs common or that $oman to pic" the same type o
man !ecause she $ants to try and Gi9G him.

'e have already discussed ho$ attraction can actually ma"e a
$oman !lind to seeing the things the $ay they really are and
ignoring the la$s o the man# so + am not going to go over it again.
3ut + am sure you get $hat + am trying to say here.

66
The only $ay out o this is to catch yoursel the moment you eel
that you are alling or this "ind o man. ,o$ do you "no$ i he is
the same "ind8 'ell i you ind yoursel %ustiying his la$s then you
are deinitely on the same old route again.

+ you "no$ he has short temper !ut you end up %ustiying it !y
saying to yoursel# :'e seem to get along very $ell and + eel great
every time +(m around him and his anger issue isn(t that !ig o a
deal#; =you are trying to cover up his la$s.

'hen this happens you aren(t seeing things or the $ay they truly
are and you are only under the inluence o emotions. A lot o
$omen do this out o ha!it and let me assure you that# %ust li"e any
other !ad ha!it# it(s e9tremely to9ic and harmul in the long run.

Thereore it(s important to snap out o it and decide i the man you
$ant to !e $ith is compati!le# and i he can meet all the standards
you e9pect.

+ you promised yoursel that you $ould never date a cheater and
ind yoursel in relationship $ith one# then you are on the $rong
trac".

+ you promised yoursel that you $ould never all or an alcoholic
and ind yoursel in the company o one# yet again# then you are on
the $rong trac".

+ you promised yoursel that you $ould never let a man use you or
se9 and actually ind yoursel in !ed $ith another player# then you
are most deinitely on the $rong trac"# yet again.

+t(s e9tremely important that you do something to change these
ha!its or your lie $ill !ecome one hell o a painul e9perience
$here each day $ill !e $orse than the last.

67
Another pro!lem a lot o $omen have is that they tend to !lame
men or treating them !adly. This only sho$s a lac" o
understanding on the $oman(s part. She is !laming things outside
o hersel $hen in reality it(s her o$n ault or letting such a man
into her lie in the irst place.

And it doesn(t end here. Ater they are done !laming the man# the
very ne9t thing they do is %ustiy their anger and resentment
to$ards him !y !laming him even more.

1ou are in control o your o$n sel and no one can do anything to
you unless you allo$ them to. 'omen $ho pic" losers are the ones
$ho actually allo$ such men into their lives# thereore they can(t
really !lame the man or !eing himsel.

+ you pic" a car $ith a top speed o CDD miles per hour# no matter
ho$ hard you press the accelerator# it $on(t go !eyond CDD miles an
hour. Similarly# $hen you pic" the $rong "ind o man you can(t
e9pect him to ulill your needs and treat you the $ay you $ant. No
matter ho$ hard you might try to change him he $ill never change
!ecause he is limited in too many $ays.

+ he loo"s li"e a %er"# tal"s li"e a %er" and $al"s li"e a %er"=then he
is a %er". +t doesn(t matter $hat amount o attraction you eel
to$ards him# he $ill al$ays prove to you ho$ !ig o a %er" he can
!e.

The irst step to$ards pulling yoursel out o this !lac" hole is to
accept that you are in the ha!it o pic"ing the $rong "ind o men
!ecause o attraction and impulse.

5on(t remain in denial o this act=unless you "no$ $hat the
pro!lem is you can never ind the solution.

1ou should catch yoursel the very moment you eel you are alling
or the same "ind o man again. ,o$ do you decide i he is the
same "ind or not8
68

'ell that(s very simple=see i he has any amiliar characteristics to
all your e9 partners. + the ma%ority o the traits match# then you
have managed to get yoursel into the same old situation# yet
again.

The very ne9t step should !e to end the relationship immediately.
'hen you catch yoursel and cure the pro!lem during its early
stages you $ill al$ays ind it easier to manage.

So it(s important not to let such situations get to a point $here you
ind it almost impossi!le to get out. The good thing is that the more
you push yoursel in the right direction# the !etter you $ill eel
a!out yoursel.

69
Section# )
4o3 To ,n.l-ence a /an to =o-r *a1 O. Thin5ing
+ am going to let you in on a secret a!out men you may not have
heard !eore. 5o you "no$ that men never do anything $hen they
are told to or orced into# !ut they actually ollo$ through i they
are e9pected to do it8

Men are more receptive to appreciation and praise than anything
else. 'hen you use these t$o triggers you can ma"e them do a lot
o things and inluence them to your $ay o thin"ing $ithout
coming across as pushy.

0or e9ample# Amy ears that John might cheat on her someday. So
this is $hat she does. )ne day $hile tal"ing to him she drops in the
ollo$ing lines*

Amy + $as tal"ing to an old riend today. She $as really
depressed.

John 'hy8

Amy ,er hus!and o H years cheated on her.

John That(s really sad.

Amy 1ou "no$ $hat John8 + am really luc"y to have a man li"e
you as my hus!and. + "no$ you $ill never do such a thing# ever.
1ou are a man o strict principles and that is something + truly
admire a!out you.

70
And $hat do you thin" this does to John8 /ven the thought o
cheating $ill ma"e John thin" o his $ie(s $ords $hich $ill
internally compel him to stay loyal to his $ie. +t !ecomes a matter
o pride and no$ John $ill do everything in his po$er to live up to
his $ie(s e9pectations o him.

And you can use this same pattern in many other $ays to get your
man to understand your needs and desires !etter.

4et(s assume you $ant your partner to stop !eing involved in his
$or" all the time and spend some time $ith you. Most $omen
$ould !e direct a!out this and go a!out it in the ollo$ing $ay*

'oman ,o$ come you never spend time $ith me anymore8

Man +(m sorry. +(m !urdened $ith $or".

'oman 1ou(re al$ays $or"ing. +t seems as i + don(t even e9ist in
your $orld.

Man Can(t you see $hy + $or" so hard8 +t(s so that + can give
you a good standard o living# !ut you %ust can(t see that can you8

'oman +t seems li"e you don(t really love me anymore@

And this is $hen the useless argument starts and !oth parties end
up highly rustrated. The "ey to inluencing your hus!and into your
$ay o thin"ing is to understand him !eore you see" to !e
understood !y him.

)nce you understand his situation and cater to his needs# he $ill
instantly cater to yours $ithout any resistance.

71
So no$ let me sho$ you ho$ to do it the right $ay*

'oman 1ou "no$ + am really luc"y to have you as my mate. 1ou
$or" so hard to provide me $ith everything. + %ust $anted to let
you "no$ + really appreciate everything you have done or me.

Man Than" you very much. + am glad to have you as my mate as
$ell.

'oman +(m really sorry i +(m distur!ing you# !ut + %ust elt li"e
spending some time $ith you today. + you(re !usy $e can do this
later.

Man )h honey- +(m glad that you(re so understanding. + tell you
$hat=+(m almost done $ith this pro%ect. Give me a couple o hours
then $e(ll go out to eat. Sound good8

'oman Seems perect-

And you see ho$ some understanding and a !it o patience can
actually get you $hat you $ant8

3eore $e move on to other sections let me discuss a very critical
issue here. )nce in a $hile + get a comment rom one o my
readers saying they eel guilty doing this.

They eel that may!e they are manipulating their partner into doing
something he might not $ant to do. And + tell them it(s very normal
to get this eeling. 3ut the main point is that most $omen $ho are
successul in their relationships already do this naturally.

+ you $ere to study any successul relationship or marriage you
$ould conclude that !oth partners are actively using these
techni?ues# naturally. +n act# $hen you approach your relationship
in this ashion you are not only acting as an understanding and
72
appreciative $oman !ut you are also strengthening your !ond $ith
your partner.

1ou are %ust !eing your !est sel and this is good or you and your
partner. There is nothing $rong $ith using these techni?ues.

73
Section#
The /ost 0o3er.-l Thing A *oman
Can Do To Resolve A Con.lict *ith A /an
,nstantl1
'omen li"e to resolve issues !y tal"ing it out !ut $hen you are
trying to prove a point to your mate# he may or may not understand
$here you are coming rom. And that can cause a lot o riction in
the relationship.

A lot o $omen complain that their man %ust doesn(t listen# no
matter ho$ hard they try to ma"e him listen. The reason he isn(t
listening is simply !ecause he is conused a!out the reason you are
acting this $ay.

Men aren(t e9perts at iguring out the emale mind. They aren(t very
s"illed at reading !et$een the lines. Most o the time you might !e
trying to communicate a certain need and they might end up
getting the completely $rong idea.

4et(s loo" at an e9ample* 1ou come !ac" home ater a rough day at
$or" and $ant your hus!and to listen to ho$ rough your day $as.
All you $ant is or him to listen# !ut instead he gives you a list o
things you should do to reduce stress# $ithout paying much
attention to your eelings.

This may instantly disappoint you# ma"ing you thin" he doesn(t
understand you at all# ma"ing you rustrated. 3ut men are eiciency
oriented. 'hen presented $ith a pro!lem they al$ays loo" or
solutions.

'omen on the other hand lo$er their stress !y tal"ing and sharing.
They may or may not !e loo"ing or a solution# %ust a sympathetic
ear.
74

And this is $here massive lac" o understanding creeps in rom !oth
parties. The man thin"s his $ie is $eird !ecause she is stressed
and $on(t do anything a!out it. At the same time the $oman may
eel her hus!and doesn(t really care a!out her eelings anymore and
is al$ays inding $ays to neglect her.

No$ + don(t $ant to sound overly simplistic here !ut the !est $ay to
tac"le this is to :Not Get Too /motional.;
Not letting emotions over$helm her is the most po$erul thing a
$oman can do to resolve a conlict instantly. 1ou can(t tal" to a man
$hen he is trying to pull himsel out o an argument.

'hen youFre overly emotional# you can never e9plain your side o
the story> he isn(t $illing to listen. And this is the main reason $hy
it !ecomes e9tremely important to avoid and ignore the man $hen
there is a disagreement.

'hen a man sees that she isnFt over$helming him $ith emotions#
he has enough space to go into his thin"ing process and he
contemplates*

So $hat happened8 'hy isn(t she nagging me anymore8 ,o$ come
she is calm all o a sudden8

,e !ecomes curious to really "no$ the reason $hy you got so ?uiet
all o a sudden. And this is $hen the magic ta"es place. The more
you ignore him the more he $ants to "no$ the reason $hy you are
ignoring him.

And $hen he comes to you as"ing or the reason=that is the
perect time to let him "no$ a!out your needs and resolve all
conlicts instantly.

75
Al$ays "eep in mind that the more space you give him# the more
open he $ill !ecome to listening to your side o the story. And this
is $hat allo$s most conlicts to !e resolved in a nonBargumentative
and peaceul manner. So at the end o the day it(s !eneicial or
!oth the parties and it ma"es the relationship stronger.
76

Section#"
4o3 To Deci9her 4is 4idden
/essages. Find O-t ,. 4e ,s Reall1 Telling
=o- The Tr-th
5o you "no$ that in most situations men don(t really say $hat they
mean and don(t mean $hat they say8 + they say they love you=it
doesn(t necessarily mean that they love you.

+t(s not a !ig secret that most men are never direct a!out ho$ they
truly eel to$ards a $oman> this %ust isn(t ho$ they $or". +t(s a
man(s nature to !e less e9pressive $hen it comes to his emotions.

1et some $omen still don(t accept the act that men are li"e this. +n
act# i they end up in a relationship $ith one o these men they
oten ind themselves getting rustrated over his nonB
e9pressiveness. 0or some $omen# !eing this $ay is %ust not right.
And they orget that it(s a part o a normal man(s nature.

And again=this is $here that lac" o understanding comes in.

3ut it doesn(t stop here. Some $omen push it urther and try to let
the man "no$ ho$ $rong his $ays are and try to change him#
$ithout reali6ing that men don(t react very $ell to orce and hate it
$hen they are told to change.

+t(s the same as a man telling a $oman to stop creating all this
emotional drama and see things in a logical $ay.=$hich isn(t really
the !asic nature o most $omen. 'omen are "no$n to !e
emotional. +t(s a part o them.

The astest $ay to drive a man a$ay is to tell him that he is doing
something $rong and to tell him $hat he should !e doing instead.
77
So the only $ay around this is to gain a deeper insight into ho$
men communicate and really try to understand them.

)nce you truly get ho$ men actually communicate you $ill ind
yoursel having more success. + am going to sho$ you ho$ to
actually read !et$een the lines and see $hat he truly means $hen
he says something.

Not only $ill + sho$ you ho$ to igure out the real message !ehind
$hat he says( in this chapter !ut you $ill also discover ho$ to
catch a man $hen he is straight out lying to you.

4et me start $ith an e9ample here. ,ave you ever heard a man say#
:+(m %ust not ready or a serious relationship right no$-; 3ut ater a
e$ $ee"s or months you discover that he is in a serious
relationship $ith another $oman8

This really doesn(t ma"e sense to most $omen# !ut $hen he said
he didn(t $ant a serious relationship# he didn(t mean he didn(t $ant
one at all. 'hat he actually meant $as that he didn(t $ant it $ith
you !ecause he $asn(t sure a!out you.That(s the true story !ehind
his $ords.

Thereore the irst truth you have to accept is that men don(t al$ays
say $hat they mean.

Thereore i he says# :+ am happy !eing single or no$; =$hat he
really means is=he is yet to come across a $oman $ho he
considers $orthy enough to !e in a relationship $ith him. 7ntil then
he is %ust happy $ith "eeping things casual.

Another e9ample o this $ould !e $hen a $oman ta"es $hat a man
says literally. 0or e9ample i he says to you that he li"es it $hen you
"iss him and you start "issing him more and more=at home# in
pu!lic=do you "no$ $hat happens8

78
,e $ill actually get irritated !y it. 'hy8 + he told you he li"ed
candy# and !ased on $hat he said you assumed that he $ould really
love you i you served him candy all the time=candy or !rea"ast#
lunch and even dinner=don(t you thin" it $ould !ore him to death#
having to eat the same thing over and over again8

1ou really have to read !et$een the lines here. + he says that he
li"es something you do# it doesn(t mean that he $ants you to do a
lot more o it. ,e is %ust letting you "no$ that he li"es it $hen you
do it once in a $hile.

'hen a man says# :+ $ant an independent $oman#; =$hat he truly
means is he $ants a $oman $ho $on(t give him the eeling o
!eing trapped. ,e $ants a $oman $ho can give him the "ind o
space he needs !ut at the same time !e aectionate to$ards him.
,e actually means a $oman $ho has her act together# one $ho is in
complete control o her emotions and a $oman he doesn(t have to
train# someone $ho already understands ho$ to trigger attraction in
a man.

The last thing a man $ants is to get stuc" $ith a $oman $ho
doesn(t understand anything a!out men. &ut it this $ay=ho$ $ould
you li"e to !e in an airplane and !e told the pilot is ne$ and this is
his irst light.

'ould you get nervous8 'ould you ear that he might crash8 'ould
you $ant to get out o the plane8

A man gets similar "inds o eelings around $omen $ho don(t have
their act together. And that(s $hat he ears the most. ,e doesn(t
$ant to !e in an airplane $ith an amateur pilot.

A lot o men can(t really descri!e this "ind o a $oman in perect
detail !ut they al$ays "no$ $hen they are around one. + he(s
telling you that he $ants to !e $ith an independent emale# $hat
he is really telling you is that he doesn(t eel you it the criteria o
$hat he sees as a potential uture mate.
79

+ am sure you must have heard o the saying $hich goes something
li"e* Actions spea" louder than $ords. +n order to igure out a guy(s
true intentions all you have to do is ocus on his actions and not his
$ords.

,is actions $ill al$ays demonstrate his true needs and in the
process you $ill "no$ $hether he really means $hat he is saying or
not. +t(s very simple=all you have to do is hear $hat he is saying
and then ocus on the actions he is ta"ing.

+ $hat he is saying and the action $hich ollo$s are completely
5ierent# then he lied. 0or e9ample# i a man says he really cares
a!out you !ut never sho$s up $hen you need him the most=he
doesn(t really care a!out you. ,e said it %ust to ma"e you happy.

+ a man says he $ants to marry you yet ma"es no real attempt to
ta"e the relationship to the ne9t level and you are the only one
doing all the hard $or" in the relationship# then he isn(t really
interested in marrying you. ,e is %ust "eeping you around until he
inds a !etter $oman.

At the same time i he tells you that he isn(t ready or commitment
!ut is e9tremely possessive a!out you and treats you as i you $ere
already married to him# then internally he really $ants to !e $ith
you. ,is true intentions are to commit. ,e might not say it !ut his
actions are doing all the tal"ing.

The pro!lem $ith most $omen is that they al$ays ocus on $hat
the man is saying and not $hat he is doing. And this is the reason
$hy they al$ays ind themselves conused $hen the man does the
e9act opposite o $hat he said he $ould do.

+n act# you can save yoursel a lot o trou!le !ecause this is the
perect $ay to %udge the character o a man and see i he $ill ma"e
a good long term mate or not. 5o you "no$ that men $ho are
great relationship material al$ays ollo$ through $ith $hat they
80
say8

+n other $ords# their $ords are al$ays in line $ith their actions.
They al$ays do $hat they say they are going to do. Men $ho have
strong personalities never have a conlict !et$een their $ords and
actions. So $hat(s inside actually relects outside.

So your %o! should !e to see $hether his actions are matching his
$ords# early in the relationship. That $ay you can ilter out the !ad
ones pretty ast $ithout having to go through the emotional
torture.

Actions al$ays !ring out the man(s real character> every time there
is a conlict !et$een his $ords and his actions=you should al$ays
ocus on his actions and ignore the $ords.

81
Section# !
4o3 To 0s1chologicall1 Train =o-r
/an ,nto Doing /ore O. The Things That
0lease =o-
5o you "no$ that you are responsi!le# to a very large e9tent# or
the $ay your man acts and !ehaves around you8

+ you oten ind yoursel struggling to ma"e your man understand
you and al$ays ind yoursel in the middle o an unnecessary
argument# then you have deinitely allo$ed your man to do more o
the things you don(t really $ant him to do.

5o you "no$ that you train your man on ho$ to treat you8 +t(s all
!ased on $hat you allo$ or disallo$ him to do. + have already
mentioned in some o the previous sections that $hen you a$ard
good !ehavior# it $ill !e repeated. At the same time# $hen you
ignore !ad !ehavior it $ill !e repeated as $ell.

+ you ind yoursel al$ays !eing treated $rong !y your mate then
you have deinitely ignored the !ad !ehavior# and have
unconsciously trained your man to do more o the things you
actually hate.

Most $omen $ho let their man have his $ay s$allo$ their
rustration day in and day out and never e9press it. At the same
time# they let the same $rong "ind o !ehavior occur all the time
simply !ecause they ear !eing a!andoned.

'omen ear that their man might leave them so much that they %ust
ignore everything they a!solutely hate and never let their man
"no$ a!out it. And then they $onder $hy they are so stressed all
the time.

82
'hen something !others you# it sometimes stays $ith you# even
$hen you try and ignore it. Some $omen hold onto things $hich
tend to ma"e them !itter over time.

'hen you stay upset# it only gets $orse and oten times your
partner may not !e doing it intentionally> since you never let him
"no$ that you aren(t o"ay $ith it=he has no idea $hy you are
getting so stressed every day.

0or e9ample# i there is a certain ha!it your partner has $hich truly
ma"es your !lood !oil and you never tell him# it $ill stress you more
and more every time he repeats it.

+t(s e9tremely important that you let him "no$ a!out it or else he
$ill only do it more and more and it $ill get to a point $here you
$ill ind yoursel getting e9tremely depressed.

This is $here the Ipunish and re$ard( theory comes in. +t simply
means that you $ill not accept any !ehavior rom your man that
you aren(t o" $ith. 1ou set a !oundary and $on(t let your man cross
it.

+n other $ords# you $ill re$ard him or good !ehavior and at the
same time# you $ill punish him or !ad !ehavior. So your aim here
is to stop ma"ing the man comorta!le all the time and let him
"no$ there are only certain things you $ill tolerate.

,ere is an e9ample*

+ your partner constantly smo"es inside the house and you aren(t
o"ay $ith it=ho$ $ould you react8

Some $omen tend to lo$er their standards and act as i they are
o"ay $ith it even $hen they aren(t.

83
3ut $hen you lo$er your standards to ma"e your man comorta!le
this is $hat happens. ,e starts thin"ing# $ell# she didn(t really get
too annoyed. So + guess she doesn(t really mind me smo"ing inside
the house.

See $hat happened8 3y ignoring his !ad !ehavior# you actually
encourage him to do more o it. 1ou should rather punish him or
this !ad !ehavior.

Thereore the irst thing you should do is let him "no$ that you
aren(t o"ay $ith this and then instead o letting it turn into an
argument# %ust pull !ac". Avoid him or a e$ days. Stop ans$ering
his calls right a$ay and act as i you have !een super !usy=having
a great time on your o$n-

This $ill ma"e him thin"# Gee6- +t seems li"e + really made her mad.
+ should listen to her more oten. Smo"ing is a !ad ha!it any$ay. +
$onder $hat + can do to ma"e it up to her. +(ll surprise her this
$ee"end.

So you see8 'hen you point out his !ad !ehavior and punish him#
accordingly he $ill do everything in his po$er to ma"e sure such a
thing doesn(t happen again.

And every time he thin"s a!out doing something similar he $ill !e
reminded o the time $hen you avoided him or several days=this
$ill stop him rom doing it again.

At the same time# you should re$ard good !ehavior !ecause the
more you re$ard it=the more it is !ound to !e repeated.

0or e9ample# i your man !rings you special gits and gives you
surprises you truly cherish# you should re$ard him !y saying# :+
really admire $hat you do or me. There aren(t many men out there
$ho "no$ ho$ to ma"e a $oman eel this special. + am !lessed to
have you in my lie. Than" you.;
84

And guess $hat happens ne9t8 This $ill drive him to do more o
these things and give you more surprises as time passes !y.

Men love to !e appreciated and respected. These are t$o !asic
triggers $hich al$ays $or" $hen used. Thereore# every time you
appreciate his good !ehavior# more good things $ill happen in your
relationship.

At the same time# $hen you punish him or !ad !ehavior you are
not only giving him a signal to stop doing it !ut you are also
indirectly telling him that you aren(t going to ta"e it at the cost o
your o$n selBrespect.

1ou aren(t $illing to get used or ta"en advantage o %ust !ecause
you are in a relationship $ith him. 'hen you sho$ no ear and
$illingness to $al" a$ay each time one o your principles is
violated# not only $ill he stop doing it# !ut his level o admiration
and respect or you $ill dou!le as $ell.

3ecause that(s e9actly $hat all high ?uality $omen do=they never
let a man have his $ay only or his o$n personal pleasure. They
ma"e it a!solutely clear to him that there is a certain standard o
!ehavior they e9pect and they aren(t going to compromise on it.

This is the main reason $hy# i a man threatens to leave you# you
should actually agree $ith him and $al" out.

That(s the last thing a man $ould ever e9pect. ,e(s e9pecting you
to !eg# plead or chase him around# !ut $hen you actually agree
and leave him alone# he $ill $ant you more than ever !eore.

This is $hen he starts to thin"# so this is it8 ,o$ could she $al" out
on me so easily8 5oes it mean she already $anted to get rid o me
and $as $aiting or a chance8 ,o$ come she didn(t argue this
time8 5oes it mean she(s had enough o me8 She didn(t seem too
85
agitated a!out it. 5oes it mean she already has someone ne$ in
her lie8

These ?uestions $ill s"yroc"et his sense o insecurity and he $ill
desire you more than ever. 5on(t !e surprised i he even chases you
hard to get you !ac" in his lie.

Remem!er# your %o! should !e to al$ays punish the man or !ad
!ehavior and re$ard him or good !ehavior.

86
Section# #
4o3 To Tal5 A;o-t Ta5ing The
Relationshi9 To The Ne8t Level *itho-t Frea5ing
4im O-t
Are you scared to discuss deeper things and tal" a!out $here your
relationship is headed !ecause you ear it might rea" him out8 Not
"no$ing $here your relationship is headed can !e real torture.

3ut do you "no$ $hat is even $orse8

+t(s letting things "eep going the $ay they are going. Some $omen
ear scaring the man a$ay so much that they $ould rather "eep
$hat they already have instead o losing the man altogether.

Their ear o loss is ar greater than the pleasure they might
e9perience i the man is $illing to ta"e things to the ne9t level. 3ut
the very thought o having this tal" can give a $oman sha"y legs.

So $hat are the most common ears8 This is ho$ the internal
dialogue runs in a $oman(s mind. ,ere are some very common
thoughts*

'hat i he really hasn(t our uture a thought and isn(t as serious
a!out me8

'hat i he %ust $ants a casual thing and doesn(t really see me as
long term material8

'hat i he is commitment pho!ic8

And guess $hat happens ne9t8 The more you thin" a!out these
87
things=the more it !others you. And you may not "no$ it# !ut it
$ill start to sho$ in your conversations and actions around your
man.

This starts to ma"e him notice things a!out you*

B 1ou start to act e9tra $orried and act a !it needy $hen he is
around.

B ,e notices that you t$o aren(t really having un the $ay you used
to and there is this strange# a$"$ard sense o seriousness a!out
everything.

B ,e reali6es that spending time $ith you is more li"e hard $or"> it(s
not un anymore.

B ,e notices that you are reacting a lot to very little things and
?uestion him a lot on almost everything. ,e can sense that you get
irritated more re?uently over very small matters.

And guess $hat happens ne9t8

,e pulls !ac".
,e starts calling you less.
,e stops spending time $ith you.

And you still don(t say anything much to him# rather you gro$ more
insecure. +n act you even ear that may!e he is cheating on you# or
that he(s already ound someone else=he(s %ust acting very distant
all o a sudden.

A e$ $ee"s pass and things don(t get any !etter and this is the
point $hen your !alloon o all those insecure thoughts and
88
eelings !urst=and you lash out.

1ou have had enough and you really $ant him to "no$ ho$
rustrated and angry you are. 1ou(ll pro!a!ly*

B Complain a!out his un$illingness to ta"e things to the ne9t level.

B Tell him everything he does that !ugs you.

B And the $orst o all=you may !ring up past issues or
arguments.

And guess $hat8

No$ he is e9tremely scared. +n his $orld he only sees all this as
unnecessary drama. +n his $orld you are no$ a $oman $ho is ull
o issues and someone $ho is carrying heavy emotional !aggage.

This is the point $here he $ill $ant to leave you> everything you
say no$ $ill actually $or" against you. The irst thing you must
"eep in mind is to ma"e sure this doesn(t happen.

The very irst thing you must understand is that your relationship
$on(t get to the ne9t level automatically !ecause such a thing
doesn(t happen !y itsel. 1ou $ill have to ta"e the initiative $hen
your man isn(t doing so.

3ut in order to do this you have to have perect timing. Things in
motion tend to remain in motion# thereore you have to catch your
partner in a positive state o mind $hen you actually decide to have
this tal".

'hen he is in a positive state o mind@,e is more li"ely to see
these things in a positive $ay and more li"ely to ta"e it to the ne9t
89
level. At the same time i you try to have this tal" $hen he is in the
$rong state o mind# he is more li"ely to rea" out simply !ecause
he is already in a negative state o mind.

And you have to !e very direct and honest a!out it.

1up- 1ou have to !e direct. +t can sound a !it scary !ut trust me on
this one=this is one ris" you $ill !e glad you actually too".

3ecause really thin" a!out it# i your relationship isn(t going to go
Any$here# $hat(s the purpose o !eing in it8 + you already "no$
that the man you are $ith $ill never ta"e it to the ne9t level and
%ust "eep it as a casual thing=$hy $ould you $ant it anymore8

1ou $ould !e doing yoursel a !ig avor !y !eing direct> things $ill
!ecome crystal clear ater$ards and you $ill "no$ $hat you
actually have to do# instead o shooting in the dar".

Alright# no$ let me share some eective $ays you can use to ma"e
him open up more to$ards you@

. Let him 5no3 ho3 good 1o- .eel ;eing aro-nd him.

The irst step should !e to sho$ appreciation to$ards him or
something you really li"e. + !eing around him ma"es you eel good#
you should let him "no$.

'hat you are doing here is setting positive rame$or" $hich $ill
ma"e him li"ely to give positive responses in return.

". Let him 5no3 ho3 li.e gets ;etter 3hen there is
commitment.

90
This can !e done !y giving him real lie e9amples o couples $ho
are leading an e9tremely happy lie ater marriage.

1ou can do this !y telling him ho$ someone you "no$ recently got
Married and ho$ they descri!e it as one o the !est eelings in the
$orld.

)r you can ta"e your mate to parties $here you "no$ there $ill !e
some happily married couples and sho$ him these real lie
e9amples o ho$ lie actually gets !etter once you have that special
someone.

!. 0oint o-t e8am9les o. ho3 some 9eo9le lead lonel1 lives
3hen the1 don2t o9en -9 emotionall1.

3ut you have to ma"e sure you do this is a very nonBnegative $ay.
+n other $ords# it shouldn(t seem li"e you are pointing out
something $rong in him or trying to critici6e him.

A good $ay to do this is to tell your partner a story o a man $ho
never opened himsel up emotionally and ended up pretty
depressed and al$ays $ished he could have had it the other $ay
around.

0or e9ample# $hen tal"ing to him# drop in the ollo$ing line*

,oney- The other day + $as $atching this sho$ on TJ# $hich
eatured a lot o single people rom all over. There $as this HQ year
old man $ho spo"e a!out his lie e9periences.

They as"ed him# i he could turn !ac" time# $hat $as the one thing
he $ould li"e to change8 And he right a$ay said# :+ there $as one
thing + could change it $ould !e that + $ould have married. + $ould
love to go !ac" in time and marry that $onderul lady + spent ?uite
a e$ years o my lie $ith# !ut + never thought a!out ta"ing things
to the ne9t level. That(s one thing + regret to this very day.;
91

)nce you can get him thin"ing a!out all this a lot o ne$ thoughts
$ill gro$ in his mind. No$ he $ill actually start thin"ing a!out
commitments# relationships etc.

#. Then 9o9 the B-estion.

)nce you see that he is really thin"ing deeply a!out all this stu
and is in the right rame o mind say the ollo$ing# :1ou "no$ +
have !een $ondering $hat things $ould !e li"e# i $e $ere an
actual couple.;

Then study his response. + there is a sense o nervousness in his
Response# then the time isn(t right to ta"e this conversation urther.
3ut i he responds positively and ans$ers in a positive manner then
you should ta"e this urther and tal" more on the su!%ect.

The reason $hy + said you should stop i he sho$s signs o
uneasiness is simply !ecause you may have caught him in the
$rong state o mind# or may!e he isn(t ready or this discussion yet.
1ou should give things a !it o time and then try this $hole process
again.

+n case you still $itness him getting uneasy and not having a clear
Ans$er# then it is very li"ely that he might not commit to you at all.
+ "no$ it sounds sad# !ut + have already mentioned that you $ould
!e doing yoursel a !ig avor !y "no$ing early on# $here things are
headed.

+ it(s not going to materiali6e into anything deeper then it(s more
than o!vious that it $ill actually end at some point> you can either
end it ater you have endured enough pain and torture or you can
end it at the right time $ithout e9periencing all the unnecessary
emotional torture. The choice is al$ays yours.
92
Section# %
The Real Secrets Behind *hat Drives
A /an To 0-rs-e Certain Ainds O. *omen And
Avoid The Rest
4et me share something $hich might !e a !it hard to !elieve. 5o
you "no$ that good loo"ing $omen actually struggle a lot $hen
trying to ind the right guy8 +n act# even i they do come across Mr.
Right# they al$ays end up losing him.

'hile it might !e true to a certain e9tent that men do get
inluenced !y $hat a $oman loo"s li"e=that(s %ust hal o the story.
The pro!lem $ith attractive $omen is that they completely depend
on their loo"s as a means to attract men.

Thereore# they are %ust !an"ing on their loo"s e9pecting Mr. Right
to all into their lap. 3ut you see# men don(t commit !ased on %ust
physical !eauty. They can !e around an e9tremely gorgeous
supermodelBloo"ing $oman and still !e $aiting or someone !etter
to come along.

+n act# i a man gets attracted to a $oman %ust !ased on her loo"s
then it(s the physical thing he is ater and nothing else. +t(s lust and
it $on(t magically transorm into love. A relationship never orms
!ased on purely physical things.

This is the reason $hy pretty $omen are al$ays scared o ending
up $ith another guy $ho might use them or se9 and disappear the
very ne9t day.

3ut again there are e9ceptions to this rule as $ell. There are men
$ho actually ind themselves !linded !y a $oman(s good loo"s and
ma"e eorts to orm a relationship !ut this only happens !ecause
they are under the inluence o attraction.
93

As time passes !y and the attraction $ears out# the la$s o the
$oman !ecome more and more visi!le and they eventually end up
!rea"ing up. +n act# $hen the attraction a6es out they ind
themselves surprised that they even ell or such a $oman in the
irst place.

'omen $ho are less attractive are actually more s"illed at creating
attraction on a deeper level.

Men actually commit !ased on the $ay they eel around a $oman.
+t(s that inner eeling o comort they get in the company o a
$oman that drives them to pursue her urther.

,ave you ever heard a man say# :+ don(t "no$ $hat it is !ut there is
something special a!out this $oman;.

Men are strongly attracted to one $oman and not another simply
!ased on the level o attraction they eel to$ard her. Thereore the
thing that actually drives a man to settle do$n and !e $ith one and
only one girl is that he eels a strong attraction to$ard her.

And no$ you might !e thin"ing# so# $hat ma"es them eel this
$ay8 Remem!er in the section on attraction $e tal"ed a!out ho$
your !ehavior inluences $hat a man eels around you8 ,ere is a list
o things# $hich $ill help you !e that :something special; $oman*

? Al3a1s ;e in a 9ositive mood and al3a1s act as i. a lot o.
9ositive things are going on in 1o-r li.e.

Men rarely come across $omen $ho are easy going and have
something good going on in their lie. Most $omen tal" more a!out
everything that is $rong in their lie rather than ocusing on
everything that is right.

94
/ven the prettiest o $omen oten !ring up their insecurities and
negative thoughts in conversation $ith men. This only creates a
negative aura $here there is no $ay a man $ill eel good.

? ,. 1o- scre3 -96 learn to la-gh a;o-t it.

Most $omen $ant everything to !e perect rom the $ord Igo(. The
very thought o doing something $rong scares them to death.

3ut $hen you learn to accept that act that things are never perect
and scre$Bups do happen# something interesting ta"es place. 1ou
stop $orrying a!out getting it all right and start en%oying the
process.

0or e9ample* + you end up spilling your drin" in ront o a guy#
instead o getting all selBconscious and rushing to the $ashroom#
pause or a e$ seconds and $ith a smile on your ace say# :There
+ go again@;

And then e9cuse yoursel to the $ashroom.

A guy eels $hat you eel and $hen you don(t get too tense a!out
such a thing and actually laugh a!out it# he $ill laugh right along
$ith you and eel very comorta!le in your company.

? Never .orce an1thing on a man<Rather let him ma5e -9
his o3n mind.

A $oman $ho never tries to orce a man into doing something or is
never loo"ing or $ays to control a man al$ays orms a very
positive impression.

Some $omen as" a man to do something and $hen reused#
!ecome disappointed and oten try to push harder into ma"ing him
do it. 1ou already "no$ that men pull !ac" $hen you push hard.
95

So the "ey to success here is to "eep the option in ront o him and
let him ma"e up his o$n mind.

0or e9ample# i you $ant him to come to a certain party or an
event# it(s al$ays recommended to mention it casually and i he
reuses# don(t get agitated. Rather say something li"e# :+t $ould
have !een un# !ut i you have other plans# it(s o".;

Change the su!%ect right a$ay and don(t !ring the topic up again.
3y doing this you are letting him "no$ indirectly that he is still in
control $hich $ill ma"e him eel good in your company.

? Be com9letel1 honest a;o-t the 3a1 1o- thin5.

+n other $ords# don(t alter your ideas %ust to ma"e the man
comorta!le. Men al$ays get a positive vi!e around $omen $ho are
very straight or$ard and honest a!out $hat they are loo"ing or.

+ he as"s you a e$ personal ?uestions it(s completely o" to say#
:+(m sorry !ut + don(t "no$ you $ell enough to share such things
$ith you.;

No$ you may thin" it might sound rude !ut this $ill ma"e the man
respect you even more.

And at the same time# !y saying you don(t "no$ him $ell enough#
you have created this strange need in his mind $here he $ill ma"e
every possi!le eort to "no$ you more. ,e $ill see" your
acceptance and approval.

? Tell him stories a;o-t 1o-rsel. 3hich demonstrate that
1o- are a high B-alit1 3oman.

96
0or e9ample# $hen in conversation $ith a guy drop in the ollo$ing
line*

:1ou "no$ + really treat pro!lems as challenges. +n act- + love
solving them@+ am addicted to the concept o selBimprovement.;

And this $ill instantly ma"e him thin"# ')'- This one seems
dierent than other $omen + "no$. + haven(t really come across a
$oman !eore $ho tal"s li"e this. This one is un. + should "no$
more a!out her.

Men really en%oy !eing around $omen $ho have a purpose in lie
and $ant to !etter themselves.

? Don2t as5 him an1 9ersonal B-estions.

The moment you as" a man $hether he has a girlriend=he "no$s
that you(re interested in him and he might ta"e that as needy
!ehavior. +t(s a sign o a lo$ ?uality $oman.

1ou should not tal" a!out that su!%ect at all and act as i you can(t
!e really !othered i he is single or not. Never try to get all the
inormation in %ust one conversation. Smart $omen "no$ that there
is al$ays another day.

No$ let me give you a list o things you should never do# unless you
$ant to ma"e the man avoid you@

? Sto9 as5ing him ho3 he .eels a;o-t 1o-.

Some $omen %ust love the idea o "no$ing ho$ a man truly eels
a!out them !ut the moment you pop this ?uestion# the $all o
deense in the man(s head goes up.

97
,e starts thin"ing# $hy is she as"ing me this8 +s she e9pecting a
commitment8

And !am- ,is sense o independence is at sta"e here and he $ill try
to avoid you rom this point on. 7nless a man tells you $hat he
eels a!out you $ithout !eing as"ed# there is a!solutely no point in
raising this ?uestion.

? Never disc-ss 1o-r iss-es or 9ro;lems and e89ect him to
Listen.

This is another thing $hich $ill push him a$ay and ma"e him avoid
you. Tal"ing a!out your pro!lems and issues only means spreading
negativity and the more negative he eels around you# the more he
$ill avoid you.

? Never tell him a;o-t 1o-r ;ad relationshi9s in the 9ast
-nless 1o- are at a 9oint 3here it2s im9ortant to ;e
trans9arent.

+t(s !etter to let the relationship get to a point $here you have to
!e completely honest# other$ise telling him negative things a!out
your past relationships too early $ill only ma"e him avoid you.

These are %ust a e$ o the things you should not do around a man
and + hope that no$ you have a good understanding o $hy men
pursue certain "inds o $omen and avoid the rest.

98

Section# &
*h1 /en Are O.ten HEmotionall1
Enavaila;leI<And *hat To Do A;o-t ,t
Are you at a point in your relationship $here you %ust can(t tal"
a!out serious things $ithout getting into an argument or having
something go $rong8

Men have a ha!it o pulling a$ay and acting $ithdra$n every time
they encounter emotionally challenging situations. The most
common scenario is $hen a guy stops tal"ing to a $oman or
a!solutely no clear reason and in some cases# he says it in a !old
tone=that he $ants to !e let alone.

'hen such a thing happens most $omen try to resolve it !y tal"ing
things out# !ut such attempts might only uel his rustration urther
and ma"e him $ithdra$ even more.

+t can really !e a heart $renching e9perience or $omen $ho are
oten let sitting in the dar" $ondering $hat really $ent $rong.
No$ !eore + get into deeper things + $ould li"e to tell you a act*
5o you "no$ that most men do not do it consciously8

Most o the time they don(t even "no$ that such an action can
cause so much emotional pain to a $oman. They %ust aren(t a$are
o it.

Thereore# $hen a man !ehaves in this ashion you should never
ta"e it personally !ecause he might not !e doing it on purpose at
all. This is the !asic nature o men and $henever they are under
any "ind o stress they eel the need to $ithdra$ a !it rom
$hatever they are doing.

99
+t(s e9tremely important that you do not push him into anything>
most $omen eel that the reason the man is acting $ithdra$n is
!ecause he is done $ith the relationship and is trying to re%ect her.
And in most cases $omen tend to attac" the man $ith arguments#
anger and !lame.

,e can(t really igure out $hat e9actly he did to ma"e you eel this
$ay and in the process $ithdra$s even more !ecause he can(t
really thin" o any other $ay out o it.

Men never share their eelings !ecause they aren(t too open a!out
it. 3ut you might !e $ondering ho$ to deal $ith a man $ho acts
this $ay.

+ a man does this almost daily then let me assure you that there is
not much you can do to change him. The !est thing you can
actually do is to give him as much space as he needs. The more
space you give him the more room he $ill have to untangle his
mind and resolve his o$n inner eelings.

The ne9t step should !e to determine $hat(s causing him to act this
'ay. ,ere are a couple o ?uestions $hich $ill help*

J . ,s he stressed over 3or5 or an1 other se9arate iss-eC

+ the reason !ehind his irritation is $or" then it has nothing to do
$ith you at all. ,e is %ust having a hard time at his %o! and it(s not
your ault. Some $omen don(t catch this early and oten $orsen his
pain !y trying to tal" things over.

3ut the more they try to tal" to him the more irritated he $ill get.
Thereore it(s important to let him do $hatever helps him rela9. +n
such cases# men reduce their stress !y $atching sports or doing
other activities $hich "eep them occupied.

100
J ". Does he o.ten angril1 tell 1o- that 1o- over?react to
small iss-esC

+ your ans$er is yes# then you are causing him some stress !y
either acting too clingy or needy. 1ou immediately need to ta"e a
step !ac" and give him some space. + you don(t he $ill !e orced to
pull !ac" urther and urther to the point $here he $ill $ant to
avoid you completely.

'omen $ho don(t give the man the space he needs oten irritate
him to a level $here the relationship can never go !ac" to $hat it
used to !e. At this point you might still say# :'hy do + al$ays need
to do everything8 'hy can(t he understand ho$ + eel8;

As $e have already mentioned in previous sections and + am sure
you already get this !y no$=this is %ust the $ay men are. Judging
and critici6ing them on this $ill only ma"e matters $orse or you.
The only $ay to deal $ith this is to understand the $ay men really
are and %ust do the right thing.

*h1 some 3omen str-ggle to give a man his s9ace.

'omen $ho are stuc" in the past oten ind it diicult to give the
man some important space he needs. So $hat e9actly do + mean
$hen + say !eing stuc" in the past8

'omen $ho have had a history o relationship ailures in the past
oten struggle to give the ne$ man his space !ecause they ear that
history might repeat itsel and they might go through the same
painul e9periences they have !een through !eore.

0or e9ample# i a $oman $as dumped !y her e9 and the irst thing
her e9 did !eore dumping her $as $ithdra$# her mind $ill !e on
high alert every time a man $ithdra$s. 3ecause it triggers the same
negative eelings# she $ill !e reminded o all the painul e9periences
she $ent through in the past.
101

This is $hen a $oman $ill e9pect the $orst to happen yet again
and $ill do almost anything to stop it. And this is $hy she pushes
harder to tal" things out $ith her partner=only ma"ing things
$orse.

Really hear me out there- There is %ust no other $ay to do this. At
the same time you have to understand that it(s not really ho$ you
thin" it is. Stop assuming that i he momentarily $ithdra$s he is
going to dump you.

+t(s surprising to "no$ ho$ many $omen e9pected the $orst to
happen only to reali6e later that $hat actually happened $asn(t
even close to $hat they e9pected. Stop !eing stuc" in your past and
learn to e9pect positive things in lie.

+ a man is acting distant then he is indirectly communicating that
he needs some distance or the time !eing and that(s e9actly $hat
you should provide him $ith.

102
Section# $
E8tremel1 ,m9ortant J-alities /en
Des9eratel1 See5 ,n A *oman
5on(t you %ust hate it $hen it seems as i everything is going
perectly and all o a sudden he drops the !om! and lets you "no$
that he %ust isn(t ready or anything serious8 3ut $ait-

'e have already discussed this and you very $ell "no$ that it(s an
e9cuse men use !ecause they do not eel the $oman is relationship
material. 'hat i you could do something $hich $ould ma"e you
come across as the right $oman rom the very !eginning8

+n this section + $ill sho$ you ho$ to easily ma"e him see you as
:relationship material; i you are in the initial phase o the
relationship.

+ am going to sho$ you ho$ not to !e the "ind o a $oman $ho
men %ust $ant to date and have a casual thing $ith# !ut to rather
!ecome that high ?uality emale he $ould $ant to spend the rest o
his lie $ith.

5o you "no$ that not all men date $ith the intention o getting into
a long term relationship8 +n act# a lot o men date %ust or the
sheer pleasure o dating and meeting ne$ $omen. They en%oy
!eing around $omen and they are never $orried a!out $here it(s
actually going to go.

A man doesn(t sit and thin" deeply !eore he steps into the dating
$orld. ,is goal isn(t to get into a relationship as ast as possi!le. )n
the other hand# $omen are dierent. And since you are a $oman=+
am sure you already "no$ that $omen don(t date %ust or the
pleasure o dating.
103

Most o them actually date $ith a goal in mind=to ind a potential
mate to spend the rest o their lie $ith.

Thereore $omen are loo"ing to settle do$n $hile men are %ust
loo"ing around $ithout a purpose in mind. And since they have
dierent goals in mind they oten ind it hard to understand each
other.

This is the main reason $hy so many single $omen struggle to ind
the right man and even $hen they do ind one# they are conused
!y the act that he isn(t loo"ing or anything serious.

And men ind themselves struggling to understand $hy $omen
$ant to get into relationships so ast. There is massive
misunderstanding on !oth ronts.

A $oman $ants commitment as ast as possi!le@3ut a man $ants
to stay ree and independent or as long as possi!le. So it(s no
surprise $hy so many men and $omen ail to understand each
other(s needs.

+n order or a $oman to present her !est sel# the one that $ill
attract an availa!le man and a potential mate# it(s important to
"no$ the ?ualities men crave.

J-alit1 #. /en 3ant to ;e 3ith a 3oman 3ho has hersel.
in 9ro9er ;alance 7 order.

'e have discussed !eore that men ear !eing stuc" $ith the $rong
"ind o a $oman and + have given you some deinitions o $hat
men consider to !e the $rong "ind in previous sections.

'hat they actually $ant is a $oman $ho has her lie and hersel in
proper order. +n order to urther e9plain this let me tell you ho$
104
men actually vie$ $omen and their emotions. 5o you "no$ that
men really don(t understand $hat type o emotional processes
$omen go through8

They don(t understand ho$ these processes ta"e place and $hy
they ta"e place. +n their $orld# $hen $omen display all these
emotions it conuses them and actually conuses them to the point
$here they la!el such $omen as Iemotional $rec"s(.

'ell + am sure you have heard this !eore and it(s completely
$rong# !ut this is ho$ some men actually thin". And in the $oman(s
$orld $hen a man acts li"e this and puts such la!els on $omen
they can(t help !ut la!el them !ac" !y calling them insensitive
%er"s.

At the end o the day !oth se9es have the $rong idea a!out the
other.

So $hat e9actly is the deinition o a $oman $ho has hersel in
proper !alance8 'ell that(s a $oman $ho is emotionally secure and
isn(t see"ing anything rom the man. 1up- Nothing at all. 3ut at the
same time she isn(t araid to sho$ interest and still e9pect nothing.

Conused8 'ell don(t !e.

All this means is that you may sho$ interest in the man !ut it does
not mean you are going to chase him to see" his attention or
interest. 1ou $ill stand irm and let him come to you.

These are the "ind o $omen $ho can trigger massive amounts o
attraction rom any man $ithin minutes !ased on ho$ they actually
manage themselves around him. These are the "ind o $omen $ho
can actually t$ist a guy(s mind and tease him to the e9tent $here
he can(t help !ut all or them.

105
4et me give you an e9ample here=ne9t time you are in
conversation $ith a guy=drop in the ollo$ing line and ma"e sure
you say it in a teasing $ay# :1ou seem li"e a pretty nice guy@!ut or
some reason + don(t thin" $e $ould get along too $ell.;

And $hat happens8

,e instantly thin"s# this girl isn(t an easy one to handle. 'hat does
she mean + $on(t get along $ith her8 So she thin"s + am not good
enough8 + must do something to prove mysel to her.

And that(s $hen he starts actively pursuing you. 3ut you shouldn(t
act completely interested in him yet=it(s important to play a !it o
hardBtoBget or the irst e$ $ee"s# !eore you settle do$n a !it
$ith him.

5on(t let him igure you out too easily=!e a pu66le and let him do
the hard $or" o solving it# $hich also means that*

Sometimes you sho$ loads o attention. )ther times you act as i
you don(t even "no$ him.

Sometimes you are straightor$ard. )ther times you are highly
conusing.

Sometimes you are easy. )ther times you are %ust too hard to
handle.

Sometimes you care a lot. )ther times you act indierent.

Sometimes you ans$er his phone calls right a$ay. )ther times you
don(t ans$er it or days.

106
So you see8 Never give him enough eed!ac" to igure you out. As
long as he can(t igure you out# you $ill remain on top o his priority
list.

And no$ let me share the most important part=this one secret
alone can ampliy his attraction or you MD times more and he $ill
!e t$ice as li"ely to $ant a long term relationship $ith you.

The secret is to ma"e him $ait or se9. 5o not and + repeat do not
let him come close to you or the irst e$ months. Men tend to
have this notion a!out ?uality $omen. They !elieve that all high
?uality $omen never give easy se9 and al$ays ma"e the man $ait
!eore they inally get physical.

This is an a!solute must# $ithout ?uestion# i you $ant a man to
stay devoted to you or the long term.

Another very interesting thing happens $hen you ma"e him $ait or
se9. +nstead o !eing overly ocused on the physical aspect# and
most men are i they get easy se9# he $ill !e orced to evaluate
your other ?ualities and that(s the !asis on $hich every man decides
to orm a long term relationship.

'e have already determined that men can have se9 $ithout any
emotional attachments=letting him sleep $ith you early on in a
relationship can !e the perect recipe or disaster and he might see
you as nothing else !ut %ust another girl he li"es having se9 $ith.

4et(s also point out a vital thing here=you might do everything
perectly to !egin $ith# and ater %ust a e$ days you might start
getting all the right signs. +t might eel as i he is already into you
and is ready or a committed relationship. 3ut this is $here a lot o
$omen end up shooting themselves in the oot.

They let him get physical at this point# and guess $hat happens
ne9t8 ,is level o attraction or you $hich $as CD out o CD has no$
107
allen to D.

C. This is $here it $ill all all do$n or you.

+ $ould say it(s important not to get physical $ith the man or the
irst e$ months. + didn(t say days or $ee"s. + said months. Ma"e
sure you strictly ollo$ this rule.

Men see $omen $ho are easy to get into !ed as $ea" and too easy
to catch. They $ill al$ays see such a $oman as less desira!le or a
relationship. Thereore the longer a man has to $ait to get physical
$ith you# the more li"ely he is to $ant a long term relationship $ith
you.

No$ let(s get to the other important ?uality men desperately see" in
a $oman@

J-alit1 #". /en 3ant a 3oman 3ho doesn2t ta5e a3a1
an1thing .rom their li.e<rather she adds to it.

'hat is the single most important thing every man values and
treasures the most8 +t(s his reedom# the sense o independence#
the po$er to do $hat they $ant $ithout any restrictions or rules.

'hen a man thin"s a!out commitment the very irst ?uestion $hich
comes into his mind is* 'ill + lose my reedom once + commit8

And i he reali6es that yes# he $ill actually lose his sense o
reedom# then he $ill $ithdra$ and not commit at all. +n most cases
$omen unconsciously do things $hich ma"e him ear that he is
a!out to lose his sense o reedom.

0or e9ample# as"ing him to spend time $ith you $hen he $ants to
$atch the oot!all game he has !een an9iously anticipating $ill
ma"e him eel trapped. This is $hen he $ill thin"# $ait a minute-
108
'hen + $as single + could do everything + elt li"e@!ut no$# it
seems li"e + can(t even $atch oot!all reely. This is such a !ig
!urden.

0or the irst e$ days or $ee"s he might even listen to you and
comply $ith your re?uests# !ut as time passes he $ill miss more o
the things he used to do !eore the relationship and $ill eventually
$ithdra$.

So in order to ma"e sure a guy remains committed to you*

The relationship should not ma"e him eel as i something he li"es is
!eing ta"en a$ay. Rather it should give him the eeling that
something more un is actually !eing added to his lie.

The irst step should !e not to stop him rom doing the things he
en%oys the most. + he li"es to spend time $ith some o his riends
on the $ee"end then it(s important you let him do it.

1ou should al$ays as" yoursel $hether you are adding to his
reedom or ta"ing something a$ay rom him $hich he cherishes the
most.

+ you discover that all you are doing is actually ta"ing a$ay all the
un rom his lie then sooner or later he $ill !e compelled to end
things $ith you. Al$ays remem!er that $hen he has to ma"e a
choice !et$een the relationship and his reedom=he $ill choose
reedom P times out o CD. So + hope you get my point here.

109
Section# (
*h1 /en Don2t Call A.ter The First
Fe3 Dates 7 4o3 To /a5e S-re 4e Calls =o-
Bac5
)ne o the most common ?uestions re?uently as"ed !y $omen is#
:'hy the hell didn(t he call me $hen he said he $ould8;

This is a very common e9perience almost every $oman out there
has gone through at some point.

+t al$ays starts $ith a great conversation@

Things ta"e o $ell# !oth the $oman and the man are having a
great time in each other(s company. They e9change num!ers $ith a
promise to go out again sometime. 3ut days pass !y# and nothing.
,e doesn(t call.

3eore you $orry too much a!out ho$ to ma"e sure a man calls
you every single time# the irst thing you need to igure out is* 'hy
men don(t call in the irst place.

4et(s consider some scenarios here@

Reason #. Some men :-st do it .or an ego ;oost.

+ have already mentioned the concept o casual players and pic" up
artists in this !oo". There are men out there $ho $ill spend time
$ith a $oman and get her num!er %ust or an ego !oost.

They tend to have a collection o num!ers in their phone contact list
and the !igger the list=the more proud they eel $hen sho$ing it
o to their riends.
110

+ he seemed li"e a guy $ho "ne$ $hat he $as doing and $as
pressing all the right !uttons and really s$ept you o your eet on
the very irst occasion# then it(s very possi!le that you $ere dealing
$ith a proessional player.

There men are e9tremely social and tend to go out O to H times a
$ee". Sometimes they %ust interact $ith random $omen to !rush
up their pic" up s"ills and ending up $ith a $oman(s num!er is their
$ay o "no$ing $hether they succeeded or not.

Reason #". 4e 3as :-st loo5ing .or something cas-al and
1o- sho3ed no interest.

Men are very ?uic" to pic" out $hich $oman $ill let them get
physical and $hich one $on(t. As he spent some time $ith you he
must have scanned you in his head and come to the conclusion that
you may not let him get physical.

Reason #!. 4e didn2t reall1 see 1o- as someone he 3o-ld
;e interested in.

And this is something a lot o $omen out there tend to ear. The
last thing they $ant rom a man is re%ection in this ashion. 3ut this
might have happened !ecause you sho$ed a !it too much interest
in him early on and didn(t really play hard to get.

4et me give you a small hint here=men al$ays call $omen $ho
they consider to !e a challenge> i you $ere too easy and sho$ed a
!it o nervousness or discomort in his company# he sensed that
something $as a !it o and didn(t really eel that inner attraction
or you.

Reason ##. 4e lost 1o-r n-m;er.

111
This is one reason most $omen don(t even thin" a!out !ut is
actually one o the most common reasons $hy men don(t call.

No$ !ecause you understand some o the main reasons $hy men
don(t call !ac"=let me sho$ you ho$ to seal the deal in a ashion
$hich $ill ma"e them call you !ac" almost every single time.

5o you "no$ that in order to ma"e a man call you !ac" you have to
create reasons or him to call you !ac"8 'hat most $omen actually
do is create reasons or the man not to call !ac".
4et me give you an e9ample here* A man approaches a $oman at a
par" and they start the conversation on a very positive note.

At irst the $oman doesn(t open up too much and lets the man do
most o the tal"ing. This is $here the man is ma"ing all possi!le
eorts to please her. Slo$ly as conversation progresses# the $oman
reali6es that this man is pretty smart and seems li"e a great
person.

She starts to open up a !it and tells him a !it a!out her o$n lie. An
hour passes !y and it seems li"e !oth o them are connecting really
$ell $ith each other. And then the man as"s or her num!er and
she readily gives it to him.

3ut it doesn(t stop here. Since she "no$s that this guy is dierent
she $ants to ma"e sure she doesn(t scre$ it up# so she acts overly
interested and starts ma"ing plans in advance a!out $hat they $ill
do $hen they meet again.

This is $hen the man thin"s# $ait a minute. 'hy is she sho$ing so
much interest in me so ast8 'e have %ust spo"en or an hour and
she is already into me8 'hat(s going on here8

And !eore you "no$ it his interest drops. ,e does ta"e her
num!er !ecause he is no$ o!ligated to do so# !ut never calls her.
112
The $oman spends days an9iously $aiting or his call !ut he never
does. Then she struggles to igure out $hat she did $rong.

The moment she acted overly interested the man sensed that
may!e this $oman $as needy or desperate. And those are t$o
things $hich are direct attraction "illers. And as you already "no$
$hen there is no attraction a man $ill never ma"e an attempt to
"no$ you more. And that(s e9actly $hat happened in this case.

)"# so no$ let(s discuss ho$ to create reasons or him to call you
!ac"*

1ou have to appeal to his senses in a $ay that $ill drive him to
$ant to "no$ more a!out you and the !est $ay to do this is to say
something and then leave him $anting more.

1ou have to start !y ma"ing him $or" a !it hard to get your
num!er.

+n other $ords# do not %ust give it to him=let him earn it. 'e
al$ays value the things $e have to $or" or. And i he has to $or"
to get your num!er he $ill deinitely call you !ecause he $or"ed
hard or it.

The moment he as"s or your num!er say the ollo$ing*

1ou 'hat(s the guarantee that you $on(t call me CDD times a
day8

,im + promise + $on(t.

1ou )h so you don(t $ant to call me8 'hy do you need my
num!er then8

113
,im + do-

1ou 4oo" you seem conused- + am very pic"y a!out sharing my
num!er. 1ou can(t seem to ma"e your mind up $ith $hat you $ant
to do. KSay this $ith a smir" on your ace.L

At this he $ill either laugh or hesitate. Then $rite your num!er
do$n on a piece o paper# hold it in ront o him !ut don(t give it to
him yet.

No$ start to act a !it conused and then start to hand it to him.
'hen he tries to gra! it pull it !ac" and say# :,mm- 1ou have to try
harder than that. +(m not that easy you "no$.; And then hand it to
him.

This $ill literally trigger massive amounts o attraction right a$ay
and !y teasing him in this ashion you have challenged something
inside him $hich $ill drive him to call you over and over again.

So you see ho$ easy this actually is8 'hen you understand ho$ to
press all the right !uttons and create attraction men $on(t !e a!le
to help !ut all or you. No$ since you "no$ ho$ to ma"e him call#
let me share a rule you should strictly ollo$ $hen he calls.

*hat to do 3hen he calls 1o-...

)ne rule + suggest that you must ollo$ is that you ma"e sure you
are the one $ho is in charge !y not staying on the phone too long.
The !ig pro!lem is that $omen love to tal" and once they get
going they ind it hard to stop. 'hen you tal" to him or hours and
tell him every little thing $hich happened throughout the day you
are !eing a !it too easy. At this point there is a very good chance
that he might gro$ tired or !ored o you pretty easily.

3eing the irst one to get o the phone actually ma"es him $ant to
tal" even more simply !ecause he $onders $hat you are really up
114
to that is "eeping you so !usy. ,e $ill start $ondering $hy you
have to go so soon. +s something else "eeping you occupied8 'hat
could it !e8 +s it another man8

,e $ill $onder a lot a!out you and this $ill create a lot o mystery
$hich $ill raise his interest level in you.

The "ey is to seem as i you have a million other important things to
do in your lie and you are not easily availa!le. This $ay he $ill
value you more and $ill !e let $anting more# ensuring he calls you
over and over again.

115
Section# '
A /an ,sn2t The Ans3er To All =o-r
0ro;lems And *on2t /a5e =o- 4a991
5o you "no$ that the !iggest mista"e any $oman can ma"e $hen
things aren(t $or"ing out in the relationship is to try to get into the
driver(s seat and i9 the man8 Trying to i9 your man can !e as
painul as trying to run a marathon $ith MDD pounds o e9tra $eight
on your shoulders.

1ou $on(t %ust !e carrying your o$n $eight !ut your partner(s
$eight too. And guess $hat8 1ou $on(t succeed. 1ou simply can(t
ma"e your partner do something !y trying to i9 him.

'hen you ma"e an attempt to ma"e him do certain things he $ill
do more o the things $hich annoy you# %ust to sho$ you that you
don(t control him. And you $ill get nothing !ut e9tra emotional
!aggage# pain and more rustration as days pass !y.

+ get so many emails as"ing me similar "ind o ?uestions over and
over again. <uestions li"e*

,e acts overly possessive and controlling. ,o$ do + change him8

,e $on(t stop cheating on me. ,o$ do + ma"e him commit8

,e is very a!usive to$ards me. ,o$ do + ma"e him love me8

And the list goes on and on@

116
3ut to ans$er all these ?uestions in a simple sentence + can only
say* +t(s time to move on.

1up- No amount o persuasion or eort $ill change the $ay your
man acts. +t(s a ha!it he has and no one can change him unless he
decides to change himsel.

No$ you might say# :'ell +(ve tried moving on !ut it(s too painul. +
tried to !rea" up $ith him !eore !ut + ended up getting !ac" $ith
him.;

So are you telling me that you made eorts to get out o a
misera!le lie and into a more peaceul one# and then decided to
choose the misera!le lie again8 + this is you then there are some
very vital things you need to ta"e care o as ast as possi!le.

+ you "eep on coming !ac" to the same a!usive %er" $ho cheats on
you and treats you li"e crap# there is a !igger issue you have that
needs to !e ta"en care o. And it(s got nothing to do $ith your man.
+t(s actually got everything to do $ith you.

The only reason $hy $omen stay in a relationship $hich they "no$
is never going to go any$here is the ear o !eing let alone. They
ear !eing let alone so much that they settle or $hatever they
have.

+t(s the same old Isomething is !etter than nothing( theory. 3ut let
me assure you that staying $ith a man $ho isn(t going to change
his $ays is the astest $ay to push yoursel into depression.

+t(s li"e an emotionally $ea" person trying to lose $eight. They do a
lot o e9ercise and diet li"e cra6y or the irst e$ days then they
loo" at themselves in the mirror and see no visi!le results.
Conse?uently they eel more emotionally insecure and end up in the
same old pattern o overeating.

117
And ater a e$ months# they decide this time they $ill change@

They again e9ercise li"e cra6y or a e$ days# see themselves in the
Mirror# and %ust as !eore see no change. They eel depressed and
go !ac" to the same old routine# yet again.

+t(s li"e !eing stuc" in a certain pattern and struggling to ind $ays
to get out o it. + you ind yoursel going !ac" to the same old
a!usive man even $hen you made up your mind to move on several
times then you are stuc" in this pattern.

+ you ind yoursel giving the things you don(t $ant to give# doing
the things you don(t $ant to do and agreeing $ith things that you
actually disagree $ith# then you have ta"en a su!missive role in the
relationship and you depend a lot on your partner to ulill your
emotional needs.

,ere is the truth* A man cannot ma"e you happy.

And i possi!le put this sentence in a place $here you can see it
and !e reminded o this act as re?uently as possi!le. Most $omen
thin" that $hen they ind the right one=they $ill eel ulilled and
!e happy.

And they do at the !eginning o the relationship# !ut as time
passes !y and the man stops doing all the special things he used to
do at the !eginning o the relationship# things start to change and
the $oman starts to eel a !it less ulilled.

A relationship or a man can never provide you $ith long term
ulillment or happiness. 1ou are the only person $ho can ma"e
yoursel happy. Men aren(t perect and they are !ound to disappoint
you once in a $hile.

The "ey is to stop e9pecting them to do everything you actually
e9pected them to do. Stop trying to ma"e things perect $hen they
118
can never !e perect.

4earn to ta"e ull responsi!ility or $hat happens in your lie. Accept
the act that i you ended up $ith losers then it $as your o$n
personal ault or letting them into your lie in the irst place.

Accept the act that you do ear !eing lonely !ut also promise
yoursel that you $on(t compromise your standards !y pic"ing the
$rong "ind o man %ust to ill the need or company.

+t(s not $hat happens to you# it(s actually ho$ you respond to $hat
happens to you that matters. + something !ad happens in your lie
then you can either choose to sul" and endlessly regret it or you
can learn rom it and see" !etter things.

,appiness is al$ays a choice and you can actively choose to !e
happy=it(s up to you. 5epending solely on others to "eep you
happy is li"e getting into a car and letting someone else drive. 1ou
give them the po$er to ta"e you $here they may please and oten
$hen you give your control a$ay=you end up in places you(ve
al$ays tried to avoid.
119
Section# ")
The /ost Dangero-s /ista5es =o-
Never *ant To /a5e Aro-nd /en
/ista5e#. D-dging and criticiGing men instead o.
-nderstanding them.

This is one o the !iggest hurdles $hich $ill al$ays come in the $ay
o you and inding the man o your dreams. )ur !elies drive our lie
=i your !elie is that all men are %er"s and that(s %ust the $ay it is
then you are loo"ing at it rom the $rong perspective.

Critici6ing and pointing out their la$s $on(t help you at all. +t(s not
going to change the $ay men have !een !iologically designed. + get
a lot o emails rom angry $omen# complaining a!out this act all
the time.

And + al$ays get !ac" to them !y saying that there is %ust no other
$ay to do this. Men are designed to !e a certain $ay !y !irth# and
their !asic 5NA isn(t going to change only !ecause you $ant it to.

They aren(t going to !ecome mindBreaders overnight and !e a!le to
%ust "no$ $hat you truly eel a!out them. +t doesn(t $or" that $ay.

The pro!lem $ith most $omen is that they e9pect everything to !e
easy !ut $hen they actually get into a relationship they reali6e it(s
no$here close to $hat they imagined it to !e. They reali6e it(s much
more $or" than they ever e9pected.

No$ let me give you some acts here* Relationships aren(t easy. And
they are deinitely not easy $hen you go a!out inding Mr. Right
$ithout $or"ing on understanding male psychology irst. 1ou $ill
120
al$ays ind yoursel stumped and surprised at some o the things
you actually discover.

+magine $riting an e9am you $eren(t prepared or at all and had no
idea ho$ to ans$er the ?uestions. Some $omen go a!out dating in
the same $ay. They never prepare themselves properly and that(s
$hy they oten ail.

Thereore it(s e9tremely important to prepare yoursel !eorehand.
'hen you "no$ ho$ men $or" it gives you a !etter understanding
o $hat you should !e doing. 1ou $ill "no$ ho$ to ilter the !ad
one(s rom the good ones. 1ou $ill "no$ ho$ to act in dierent
situations around men. And the process !ecomes a $hole lot
easier.

This is the reason $hy it(s really important or you to actually $or"
on understanding men instead o %udging or critici6ing them.

/ista5e #". Telling him ho3 m-ch 1o- li5e him too earl1.

5o you "no$ that %ust li"e $omen# single and successul men are
approached a lot !y $oman8

This is the reason $hy some men %ust get too pic"y a!out $hom
they date and $ho they $ill avoid. Men can smell a needy $oman
rom miles a$ay. They "no$ $hether you are a strong high ?uality
$oman $ho has her lie in !alance or i you are a $ea"# needy
$oman $ho $ill only do more harm than good in his lie.

Telling him that you li"e him or have eelings or him too early can
lead to a!solute disaster. Men $ant to !e $ith a $oman $ho seems
li"e a challenge and isn(t too easy to get.

The moment you say you li"e him you have surrendered your po$er
and he is in a position o control no$.
121

At this you might as"# :So ho$ do + even let him "no$ that + am
interested8 'hat i he never ma"es the irst move and $e never
end up dating8;

0irst# most $omen compliment the man in the $rong $ay. 4et me
sho$ you ho$ to let him "no$ that you may !e interested !ut at
the same time=not sound needy in any $ay.

'hen tal"ing to him drop in the ollo$ing line*

1ou sound li"e a nice guy@+ li"e you@3ut + don(t thin" you(d !e
a!le to handle me.;

And as usual# say it in a teasing sort o a $ay so that it doesn(t
come across as !eing rude. 1ou told him that you li"e him !ut at
the same time you sho$ed a !it o a dou!t.

And this is $hen he starts thin"ing# )" so she li"es me. 3ut $ait-
'hy did she say + can(t handle her8 +s she saying + am not good
enough8 + must do something $hich $ill change her mind.

And this is $here he $ill start to push a !it harder to impress you.
This is ho$ the $hole process should actually unold.

/ista5e #!. Tr1ing e8tra hard to ma5e him li5e 1o- 3hen
he sho3ed no real interest.

This normally happens $hen a $oman comes across a high ?uality
male $ho seems li"e perect relationship material. 'ithin a e$
minutes o conversation she is already thin"ing a!out $ays to
impress him and this is $hen the disaster stri"es.

122
1ou should never !e the irst one to ma"e an attempt to impress
the man. 'hen you do# he loses all interest in you instantly. 3ut it
doesn(t stop here or most $omen.

'hen they see a man losing interest they get more insecure and
start trying harder and do things they $ouldn(t normally do in order
to impress him.

Common e9amples o this are*

BGetting too physically close to him in pu!lic.

BSaying things a!out yoursel $hich aren(t true %ust to impress
him.

BTelling him you $ould li"e to go out sometime and almost
orcing him to ta"e you out.

'hen a man hasn(t sho$n any interest in you your irst %o! should
!e to pull !ac". Trying harder only ma"es the situation $orse as $e
have already discussed in this !oo". Attraction does not happen or
a man only !ecause you $ant it to happen. Al$ays ocus on your
!ehavior and never try hard.

/ista5e ##. Dating the 5ind 1o- 9romised 1o-rsel. 1o-
3o-ld never date.

,ave you ever !een in a situation $here you sa$ yoursel slipping
!ac" into your old ha!its# letting yoursel date men you promised
you $ould never date again# letting players ta"e advantage o you
even $hen you "no$ $hat they(re doing8

This normally happens $hen the attraction is %ust too strong to
handle. And as $e have already discussed# attraction ma"es you
123
!lind to the truth. The rush o eelings can really drive you cra6y
and ma"e you do everything you promised you $ould never do.

3ut do you "no$ that i you let yoursel slip once you are very li"ely
to slip again several times in a ro$8

'hy is this8

'ell# simply !ecause every time you let yoursel slip# you are
programming your mind and i you do it once# you are very li"ely to
do it t$ice. This turns into a third time and !eore you "no$ it# you
are !ac" in the same old ha!it again.

The only $ay to get out o this is to stic" to your standards and
never allo$ yoursel to compromise on them. + you "no$ that the
guy is a player do everything in your po$er to avoid him.

4etting yoursel get carried a$ay $ill only mean much more pain to
deal $ith in the uture.

/ista5e #%. Falling into a relationshi9 too earl1 ;eca-se it
all .eels so good.

Some $omen see getting into a relationship as some sort o a race.
They !elieve that the aster they can ind the right guy the !etter
their lie is going to !e.

3ut do you "no$ that the aster you all into a relationship the
aster you $ill all out o it. 'e all "no$ ho$ it happens don(t $e8

A man approaches a $oman. They tal" or a $hile# e9change
num!ers and go out on regular dates. A e$ days pass !y and the
$oman starts getting all those lovely# $arm and u66y eelings inside
her.

124
And !eore you "no$ it she shouts# :+(m in love=+ ound him.;

She is so e9cited that she decides to move in $ith this guy. They
stay together or a e$ days and everything seems o". A e$ $ee"s
pass and no$ something doesn(t seem right.

No$ the $oman starts thin"ing# he seems more dierent no$. ,e
isn(t the same guy he pretended to !e at irst. And !eore you "no$
it you discover that he is still out meeting ne$ $omen# and most
li"ely cheating on you.

No$ all the attraction $ears o and you thin" to yoursel# ho$
could + have allen or this %er"8 'hat the hec" $as + thin"ing8

/nd o story.

'ell this is e9actly $hat happens $hen you get into a relationship
!ased on attraction alone. The relationship $ill end the moment
attraction ends and that(s $hat happens a lot $ith relationships that
happen ater only a e$ dated.

So the "ey is to give it some time !eore you actually decide to
commit. Get to "no$ the man !eyond your attraction. That(s $hen
you $ill !e in a !etter position to see i he(s the right guy or you or
not.

/ista5e #&. Calling him a lot 3hen he doesn2t call 1o- at all

'hen he isn(t calling you then it(s very o!vious that you have done
something $rong and you didn(t trigger much attraction $hen you
$ere around him.

+t can eel very rustrating e9pecting him to call $hen he never
does.

125
3ut there is even a !igger mista"e some $omen ma"e here. They
actually end up calling the man. And this is $hen you conirm his
!elie that you are needy.

And as $e have already discussed# $hen he "no$s you are needy
he $ill al$ays run a$ay. Thereore# i he doesn(t call you irst you
should not call him at all.

3ut $ait@There is still a tric" you can use to actually ma"e him call
you !ac". This might !e a !it snea"y !ut it $or"s real $ell.

So this is $hat you should do. Send the ollo$ing SMS to him*

G1eh- +t $as so much un...So are $e going again tonight8G

Ater reading this# the guy $ill pro!a!ly send you a te9t !ac" as"ing
$hat you are tal"ing a!out.

This is $here you should te9t him !ac" saying*

G)h- Sorry...That $as meant or someone else# !ut your name is
right !elo$ that personFs name in my phone contact list. + sent it to
you !y mista"e.G

This is $here the guy $ill get more curious and $ill thin"# oh- So
she is already dating someone else8 And they are going out again
tonight8 + $onder $ho he is.

This $ill trigger some %ealousy $hich $ill get him interested in you
instantly.

/ista5e #$. Sho3ing :ealo-s1 3hen he mentions other
3omen

126
Most $omen don(t really reali6e it !ut this is oten a very common
test men use to igure out $hether they are dealing $ith a
emotionally strong $oman or %ust another every day average
$oman.

+ you act overly !othered or %ealous $hen he mentions or
compliments other $omen in ront o you then you have most
deinitely ailed the test. 3y getting %ealous you are indirectly telling
him that you don(t !elieve you are good enough and ear that you
might lose him to some other $oman.

'hat you should do is act as i you aren(t !othered at all and
actually engage in the conversation. 'hen you aren(t really
!othered !y this you are sending out a very strong signal.

,e $ill thin" that you aren(t %ust li"e any other $oman and that you
have your emotions in total control=a very attractive ?uality in the
eyes o most men.

127
Section# "
So 4e *ants To Brea5-9 *ith =o-C
4ere ,s 4o3 to Sto9 A Brea5-9 7 Am9li.1 4is
,nterest ,n =o-
Nothing can eel more painul than coming to reali6e that your man
has lost interest in you and $ants to !rea" up. Most $omen ta"e
the $rong approach and instantly start doing everything to i9 the
relationship# including*

B As"ing him not to leave.

B Acting super nice and telling your man ho$ much you really love
him.
B Trying to convince him that things $ill change.

B Constantly apologi6ing or everything even $hen it may not have
!een your ault.

B And the $orst o them all=!egging him to stay.

+ can personally assure you that none o these things $ill change
his mind# rather they $ill push him urther a$ay.

'hen you are dealing $ith a !rea"up situation# trying to i9 things
never $or"s. The more you try the more he $ill eel the need to
leave you.

At this point most $omen try to igure out $hy he actually $ants to
leave and try to orce him into telling them $hy. ,ere are some
128
common e9cuses men give*

+t(s not you# it(s me.

+ %ust need some space right no$.

+ haven(t !een eeling it@etc. etc.

3ut it doesn(t matter $hat reason he gives you. +t $ill al$ays !oil
do$n to one thing and one thing only# $hich is :attraction;. 3y
using these e9cuses he is indirectly letting you "no$ that he isn(t
attracted to you anymore.

And as you already "no$ men don(t really control $ho they are
attracted or not attracted to. Attraction is triggered !ased on the
$ay a $oman acts and !ehaves around a man. Thereore let me
give you a perect plan here $hich $ill not only stop your !rea"up
!ut $ill ma"e him $ant you more than ever !eore.

Ready8 4et(s get to it.

Ste9 #. ,nstead o. resisting his decision<acce9t it.

+nstead o trying to argue and resist his decision to !rea"up# you
should agree $ith it. 'hy8 'ell simply !ecause he isn(t e9pecting
you to agree. 'hen you agree $ith this you are indirectly telling
him that may!e you already $anted to !rea"up.

0or e9ample# i he says he $ants to !rea"up# here is ho$ you
should respond. Say the ollo$ing*

1ou "no$- 1ou(re actually right. + haven(t really !een eeling it
either in the last e$ months and $anted to have this tal" $ith you.
+ am glad you inally !rought it up.;
129

This $ill thro$ him o a !it and ma"e him eel re%ected. ,e $ill
thin"*

B )h- So she actually $anted to !rea"up in the irst place8

B 5oes it mean she lost interest in me a long time ago8

B 5oes it mean she already ound someone ne$8

And this $ill almost drive him nuts $ondering $hy you didn(t react
negatively to the !rea"up. No$ he $ill !e analy6ing $hat he did to
ma"e you eel this $ay in the irst place. So in other $ords# he is
the one eeling re%ected no$.

Ste9 #". Avoid him .or !) da1s.

Remem!er $e tal"ed a!out ho$ giving a man the space he needs
actually pulls him !ac" to you aster than ever8 This time $e are
going to avoid him or ND days. 'hy ND days8 'ell simply !ecause
$e aren(t dealing $ith a small argument here. 'e are dealing $ith
a !rea"up situation.

'hen you sho$ no interest in getting !ac" in touch $ith him ater a
e$ $ee"s o the !rea"up# his mind $ill start hitting him $ith
hundreds o ?uestions. ,e(ll !e $ondering*

+ $onder $hy she didn(t contact me.

+ $onder $hat she is doing no$.

+ $onder i she is dating.

130
,o$ could she have moved on so ast8

And every time he thin"s these thoughts he $ill eel re%ected and
$ill !ecome more and more an9ious a!out you as days pass !y.

Ste9 #!. *hen he gets in to-ch 3ith 1o-

This is $here it gets really interesting and the game !egins to
change. 'hen you avoid him long enough he $ill !e compelled to
contact you. And $hen he does# here is something you should do*

CB Act as i your lie has improved dramatically.

MB Act e9tremely happy as i you are living your dream lie.

Most $omen actually act super desperate and let the man "no$
ho$ depressed they have !een !ecause o the !rea"up# !ut guess
$hat this does8 /ven i the man has a !it o interest in $or"ing
things out he $ill !e orced to change his mind !ecause you are
conirming that you are still e9tremely needy.

And $e all "no$ that neediness is a direct attraction "iller. 'hen he
sees you in a misera!le condition he $ill actually eel good a!out
the act that he !ro"e up $ith you. As long as he "no$s you need
him he $ill al$ays pull a$ay.

So the "ey is to act as i you don(t need him at all and have !een
doing e9tremely $ell in your lie $ithout him.

Thereore $hen he gets !ac" in touch $ith you to get an update on
your lie say the ollo$ing*

1ou "no$ + actually $anted to than" you or everything. 'hen
things happen they happen or a good reason. + have !een having
131
an a!solute !last lately. So many e9citing things are happening. +
$ould love to tell you a!out it sometime# !ut + need to rush or
no$. 'ill tal" to you later.;

This $ill a!solutely drive him $ild $ith a tremendous amount o
curiosity to really "no$ $hat has !een going on in your lie. 3y
acting and saying all these things you are doing everything $hich
triggers attraction and this is $here his attraction to$ard you $ill !e
more than ever !eore.

And on top o that he $ill constantly ear that may!e you have
already ound someone ne$. Again# attraction is at its pea" $hen
you can(t have someone or are a!out to lose someone and in this
case# !oth o these conditions are !eing met.

,e $ill get to a point $here he $ill literally !eg you to come !ac".
3ut you have to !e sure that you don(t rush anything. Al$ays
remem!er that less is al$ays more $hen you are dealing $ith this
type o situation> this time don(t let him !ac" into your lie that
easily.

&lay a !it hardBtoBget and let him earn his $ay !ac" into your lie.
Ma"e it clear to him that you aren(t going to settle do$n $ith him
again only !ecause he $ants you to. Sho$ him $hat he has !een
truly missing and let him understand your true value.

7nless he values your company he is very li"ely to !rea" up again@
Thereore ma"e sure you stic" to your standards.

132
Section# ""
/ost ,m9ortant Things To Aee9 ,n /ind
+n this section + am going to share a e$ vital tips# acts and points
you should !e a$are o. These tips aren(t in any speciic order !ut
$ill clariy your !iggest dou!ts and $ill ans$er all the vital
?uestions you have ever had a!out men and dating.

The one 3ho cares the least controls the relationshi9.

+n other $ords the one $ho is less emotionally invested in the
relationship is the one $ho $ill actually have control. 'hen your
level o interest in the man is higher than his level o interest in you
=you have automatically given him control.

At this you might as"*

So + shouldn(t care a!out him and our relationship at all8

+ am not saying that. All + am saying is that you shouldn(t !e
invested him to the e9tent $here your $hole lie depends on him.
Some $omen do so much in a relationship that it !ecomes their
main priority.

And $hen something goes $rong the rustration !ecomes too hard
to manage. So it(s important to never let it get to this point.
Remem!er $e tal"ed a!out ho$ a man can never give you the
happiness you are see"ing8 1ou are the only person $ho can
actually ma"e yoursel happy.

This is e9actly $hat + $ant you to understand here. 1ou should !e
133
committed to the relationship !ut not completely devoted. +t(s a part
and not the heart o your lie.

=o- are ;etter o.. alone then 3ith the 3rong man.

And this is $hy + al$ays encourage $omen to thin" several times
!eore they decide to get into a relationship !ased on the $ay they
eel. 'omen ear !eing lonely $hich oten drives them to$ards the
$rong "ind o men.

3ut + $ould say !eing single is $ay !etter than !eing $ith the
$rong man. Thereore stop rushing into things and $ait until you
ind the right guy.

,. 1o-r man has started to ma5e a lot o. e8c-ses then the
attraction has died.

This is the !iggest clue a man can give that directly communicates
that he has lost attraction or you. Most $omen see this and then
try to do something a!out it !y trying to persuade him into li"ing
them.

And as you already "no$ !y no$# you can(t persuade or orce him
into eeling attraction to$ards you.

The only thing you can actually do here is to give him space and
pull !ac". 'hen you pull !ac" he $ill automatically eel attraction
or you again.

,s 1o-r man still .lirting 3ith other 3omenC

+ he is seeing you !ut at the same time "eeping his options open
then you may !e dealing $ith a player here. There are some men
out there $ho actually en%oy the $hole process o dating many
$omen.
134

Such men en%oy !eing around dierent "inds o $omen and oten
struggle to settle or %ust one. Thereore it(s important to catch on
early !ecause he isn(t going to change his $ays or you.

Al3a1s 5ee9 a close e1e on their actions and not their
3ords.

+t is very important that you al$ays go !y $hat a man does and not
$hat he says !ecause his actions $ill al$ays !ring out his true
intentions.

Most emales $ho actually ocus on the man(s $ords ind
themselves conused $hen his $ords don(t match his actions. A
common e9ample o this is a guy $ho cheats on you !ut tells you it
$ill never happen again and then cheats on you yet again.

At the same time you might come across a man $ho says he really
li"es you !ut doesn(t return your phone calls and al$ays acts !usy.
'hat do you thin" is going on here8 ,is $ords are sho$ing interest
!ut his actions are sho$ing total disinterest.

So don(t !e ooled=ocus on his actions. That(s $here the truth
lies.
Can 1o- imagine s9ending the rest o. 1o-r li.e 3ith himC

This is the most important ?uestion you must as" yoursel !eore
thin"ing a!out a guy on a serious level. +t(s important to analy6e
him on several points here@

B 5oes he openly share his eelings $ith you8

B +s he sho$ing interest in settling do$n8
135

B 5oes he even "no$ $hat he $ants out o his lie8

7nless all the a!ove re?uirements are met you should never
consider a guy or a serious relationship !ecause there are already
dou!ts present in his mind# even !eore the relationship has started.
1ou should only get into a relationship $hen you are a!solutely sure
a!out a guy# $ithout any dou!ts.

4is 9ast does matter in man1 3a1s.

+ have heard so many $omen say# :+ don(t really care a!out his
past. All +(m concerned a!out is his present.;

'ell guess $hat8 &ast does matter in many $ays. 1ou may !e
setting yoursel up or a !ig disaster i you assume it doesn(t
matter.

,is past can give you good eed!ac" on ho$ he has treated his
relationships !eore and the reasons $hy they didn(t $or" out.

+ he has had several ailed relationships in the past and he can(t
really tell you a straight reason $hy they ended then it(s very
o!vious that he has some issues $hich need to !e resolved and you
should !e very careul $hen thin"ing a!out a relationship $ith such
a guy.

Learn to 3or5 on 1o-r o3n li.e<not his.

+t(s not your %o! to i9 his lie. 1ou aren(t responsi!le or his actions
and the results he has in his lie. 1ou can(t change his lie in any
$ay# shape or orm !y trying to change him.

+t $ill only happen $hen he consciously ma"es a decision to change
himsel. And trying to change him $ill only create a lot o riction in
136
the relationship $hich $ill only ma"e matters $orse.

+ you are in a relationship $ith a man $ho needs a lot o help than
you are $ith the $rong man. Sooner or later you $ill have to !rea"
up $ith him or else you $ill only ind yoursel more rustrated than
ever.

Let him go i. he 3ants to go.

The only real $ay to actually get a man strongly interested in you is
to let him go i he $ants to go. 5on(t stop him. The more space you
give him the aster he $ill $ant to come !ac" to you.

Give him the eeling that he is ree to do anything he pleases and
you aren(t going to chase him around trying to get him !ac". Sho$
him that you are strong enough emotionally and you can actually
manage yoursel very $ell.

This also sho$s him that you aren(t dependent on his actions to eel
good a!out yoursel. 1our level o happiness or $ellB!eing isn(t
dependent on him.

'hen you give him enough space he $ill deinitely come !ac" to
you.

,s he as5ing 1o- a;o-t 1o-r 9astC

3e$are- ,e $ants eed!ac". ,e $ants to "no$ i you are
relationship material or not. +n the case you have had a very painul
past it(s al$ays !etter not to tal" a!out it $hen he is ma"ing his
mind up a!out you.

The only time $hen you should tell him everything is $hen you eel
you "no$ him $ell enough and he is in a position to understand you
!etter $ithout !eing %udgmental.
137

At the same time# even i !ad things happened in your past# you
don(t have to say it in a $ay that seems negative. Just say that
there $ere some things $hich happened and you actually learned
rom them. And no$ you are a !etter person.

Never say things li"e# :)h my e9 $as so a!usive. ,e $as a !ig %er".
+ hope he !urns in hell.;

+t only turns men o $hen you communicate in negative $ays and
say nasty things a!out your past.

Not all men 3ant :-st one thing and not all o. them are
:er5s.

) course there are al$ays e9ceptions. There are men out there
$ho $ill play $ith a girl(s emotions %ust to get into !ed $ith her !ut
you should not assume that every man is li"e that.

There are men out there $ho are see"ing genuine mates and are
very open in this department. 'omen $ho !elieve in the theory
that all men are %er"s are actually choosing the $rong men over and
over again.

Thereore i you ind yoursel in the company o the same old :!ad
!oy personality; then you are the one ma"ing the mista"e o al$ays
pic"ing the $rong "ind.

Al3a1s see 1o-rsel. as a 9riGe to ;e 3on.

+n other $ords# men should !e the ones chasing you instead o you
!eing the one chasing them. ,e should !e the one $ho actually
$ants to !e $ith you instead o you !eing the one $anting to !e
$ith him.

138
,e should !e the one trying hard to impress you instead o you
!eing the one trying hard to impress him. + he is trying harder to
$in you in comparison to your eorts than you $ill al$ays have the
po$er in the relationship and he $ill never lose attraction or you.

As long as you maintain this attitude you $ill have no trou!le
attracting and "eeping the right man in your lie.

,n order to 5ee9 a man 1o- sho-ld ;e 3illing to lose him.

This might sound a !it !i6arre !ut the dating dynamics actually
$or" this $ay. As long as you are $illing to $al" a$ay at any point
o time $henever the guy violates one o your principles# you $ill
al$ays "eep him.

'omen $ho let a guy $al" all over them %ust due to the ear o
losing him actually end up losing him in the long run. Thereore# in
order to "eep him# you must !e $illing to lose him.

/en attach more val-e to things the1 have to 3or5 hard
.or.

'hy does a "id at school value a trophy he $on ater $inning a
race8

+n act# $hy does his amily# riends and people around applaud him
or it8

'hat(s so special a!out this trophy ater all=it(s not $orth more
than a e$ dollars. At the same time# this trophy doesn(t mean he is
already successul in the game o lie. So $hy is everyone so e9cited
a!out it8

The reason $hy it(s valued so much is !ecause the "id had to $or"
hard to get that trophy. ,e had to prepare $ee"s or months or the
139
race. No$ this trophy might not cost much !ut it has a lot o value
attached to it simply due to the act that the "id had to $or" hard
to attain it.

Similarly# men attach a higher value to $omen they thin" they canFt
get. + you all in love $ith a man too ?uic"ly# he $ill rate you as lo$
value. + you are not ma"ing the man $onder i youFre interested in
the !eginning# he $ill never put the high value tag on you.

This is the reason $hy it(s also said that you train a man ho$ to
treat you. Some $omen ma"e the man $or" or their attention and
this man treats them li"e a high value emale.

At the same time# some $omen try to "eep the man too
comorta!le and never ma"e him $or" hard or their attention and
he treats them li"e %ust any other $oman !ecause there is no $or"
there.

'hen a man is made to $or" or your attention# attraction $ill
al$ays ampliy.

Learn to loo5 at ever1thing .rom a man2s 9oint o. vie3
;e.ore :-m9ing to concl-sions.

This is the core reason it(s !een emphasi6ed all throughout this
!oo"=that you must $or" on learning ho$ male psychology
unctions. + a man you really love is starting to distance himsel and
$ithdra$ a !it# instead o pushing harder you should irst loo" at
everything rom his point o vie$.

+s he doing it !ecause you acted too needy8

+s he doing it !ecause you $ere really pushing him to do something
he didn(t $ant to do8

140
'ere you trying to stop him rom doing the things he really en%oyed
and made him eel trapped8

The reasons can !e numerous !ut once you start loo"ing at it rom
the perspective o your partner things $ill !ecome clearer and you
$on(t have a hard time inding solutions.

Never ans3er all his calls right a3a1.

Some $omen get overly cautious and $ant to ma"e sure they don(t
scre$ anything up and they do a e$ things that cost them a lot in
the long run# one o $hich is !eing availa!le all the time.

This is the reason $hy + strongly suggest that you don(t al$ays
ans$er his call. +t(s actually a good thing to appear !usy once in a
$hile. + you let a man easily igure you out early on# his attraction
to$ards you $ill reduce.

The ne9t time he calls# let him "no$ you are super !usy and $ill call
him in a !it. And then don(t call him at all. 1es# this $ill agitate him
a !it !ut it(s actually a good thing !ecause it $ill persuade him to
push harder to$ards you.

The t19e o. men 1o- attract tells 1o- 3hat 1o- thin5 1o-
deserve.

And this is the reason $hy i you "eep on attracting loser ater loser#
over and over again# then it(s overly o!vious that you do not eel
you deserve good men in your lie.

1our actions are doing the tal"ing here and $e already "no$ that
actions spea" louder than $ords. + you truly thought you deserved
good men then you $ould never let a loser into your lie in the irst
place.

141
1ou can(t compromise and must s$itly say no to anyone $ho
doesn(t meet the standards you are loo"ing or. 1ou should %udge
your !elie system !ased on the results you have and i your results
aren(t e9actly $hat you have !een loo"ing or then there is a ault in
your !elie system and it needs i9ing.

Never disc-ss 1o-r 9ro;lems 3ith men.

As $e have already discussed# men are not too good at listening#
especially $hen it comes to emale pro!lems. 1ou may try to get
him to understand $hat you are truly going through !ut he might
only end up giving you solution ater solution# e9pecting you to try
them all.

1ou see# men don(t really understand that oten times $omen are
only loo"ing or someone $ho $ill understand and empathi6e $ith
their eelings.

This is pro!a!ly the main reason $hy so many $omen opt or
therapy. PDE o the time they are loo"ing or someone $ho $ill# or
once# %ust listen. That(s e9actly $hat therapists actually do=they
listen> don(t e9pect your man to !e your therapist.

Also $hen you constantly !ring up your pro!lems you leave a really
!ad impression on the man simply !ecause you can(t seem to solve
your pro!lems. ,e $ill see you as an emotionally $ea" emale $ho
doesn(t have her lie in !alance.

And !eore you "no$ it he $ill start to distance himsel !ecause he
is starting to lose attraction to you.

Learn to give the man the gi.t o. good .eelings instead o.
giving him the ;-rden o. ;ad .eelings.

There are only t$o types o eelings humans tend to e9perience
142
regularly=the G))5 and the 3A5.

,umans have a natural tendency to do more o anything that ma"es
them eel GG))5G and less o anything that ma"es them eel G3A5G.

So in simple language# a man $ould stay interested in you as long
as he eels good around you and $ill start to avoid you the moment
he starts eeling !ad in your presence.

4et(s ta"e an e9ample here*

Cindy is rustrated $ith Je !ecause he al$ays comes home late
ater $or". She eels Je is not spending enough time $ith her. So
she decides to call Je at $or".

Cindy B ,ey- +tFs me...Are you going to !e late again today8

Je B + have a lot o $or" here...+(m not sure.

Cindy B This is $hat you say everyday...+ "no$ you(ll never change.

Je B 5onFt you understand + have $or" to do8 + ma"e money so
that $e can have a comorta!le lie...1ou %ust donFt "no$ ho$ to
appreciate my hard $or" do you8

Cindy B )h Je- 1ou are %ust too ocused on yoursel...+tFs al$ays
a!out you isnFt it8

Je B + donFt have time or this...+ have to go. 3ye-

/very single time Cindy called Je at $or" he "ne$ she $as going
to nag him and he !egan to associate pain to her calls. +n other
$ords# rom Je(s point o vie$ every time Cindy calls# he e9pects
or ears she $ill nag him or something and it leads to pain. And
143
this is the point $here he $ill start to avoid her calls as much as
possi!le. Get the point here8

No$ letFs ta"e this same e9ample and do it the right $ay.

Cindy B ,ey- +tFs me. Sorry i + distur!ed you# !ut + $as %ust missing
you and $anted to tal".

Je B )h ,oney- + am so sorry. + "no$ + have !een coming home
late regularly. + "no$ + havenFt !een "eeping my promises.

Cindy B No# no- + "no$ itFs very hard or you $ith all the increased
$or" pressure. + "no$ you are doing it so that !oth o us can have
a comorta!le lie.

Je B + am really luc"y to have such an understanding $ie. + thin" +
can leave early today. 4etFs go or a long drive.

Cindy B No it is o"- + %ust called to see ho$ you $ere doing. + am
really luc"y to have such a hard$or"ing hus!and $ho cares so
much a!out me.

Je B 5onFt $orry- + can ta"e an early leave today. +Fll !e home !y R.
3e ready. 'e(re going out today-

Cindy B )"- See you soon. 3ye.

5o you see the dierence8 This is $hat + call giving them the GGit
o Good 0eelingsG. As long as you do everything this $ay in your
relationship there is no $ay your man $ill even thin" a!out leaving
you.

144
,. 1o- easil1 get mad or -9set a;o-t small things then 1o-
aren2t in control o. 1o-rsel..

+ you easily get upset over your partner(s actions then you are not
in control o your o$n sel and your partner is actually the one $ho
has all the control.

+ his actions can ma"e you react then he is the one driving you
around. There might !e times $hen a guy may say some really
nasty things to you !ut you should never react to this !y sho$ing
anger or losing your cool.

3e li"e the roc" in the storm and act li"e nothing gets to you no
matter $hat. 'hen you maintain your composure this $ay your
man $ill eel ten times more attraction or you !ecause such
$omen are very rare to ind.

Five him the gi.t o. missing 1o-.

No man values a $oman $hom he can easily have or control. This
is the main reason $hy it(s important to avoid the man once in a
$hile and let him $onder $hat you are really up to. 4et his curiosity
gro$ to a level $here he an9iously $aits to see you again.

'hen a man is made to thin" a!out you in this ashion he $ill !e
scared to lose you. And $hen he is scared to lose you# he $ill do
everything in his po$er to "eep you happy.

/en rarel1 consider a girl as relationshi9 material i. she
gives them eas1 se8.

Although there might !e e9ceptions to this rule# the ma%ority o
men do analy6e a $oman solely !ased on this act alone. This may
!e the main reason $hy a man might !e $ith you !ut $ould still !e
see"ing a !etter $oman.
145

This is $hy# as $e have already discussed# letting a man get
physical $ith you early on can actually !e the !iggest mista"e you
might ma"e# and oten times# once the man has already ormed a
certain opinion a!out you# it might !e really diicult to change it.

Commitment is al3a1s a to-gh decision .or most men to
ma5e so don2t e89ect immediate res-lts.

1ou should al$ays remain patient and never orce him to come to a
decision a!out you. Men never ma"e relationship decisions in a
hurry as it over$helms them and at the same time ma"es them eel
out o control.

So it(s important to understand that a man $on(t decide to commit
to you overnight +t(s going to ta"e him some time and that(s $hy it(s
!etter not !ring this su!%ect up too oten or else he might eel
trapped.

As long as you display all the traits o a high ?uality emale and
never sho$ any signs o desperation or neediness to get into a
relationship# he $ill eventually commit to you.

Date as man1 g-1s as 1o- 3ant till the time 1o- .ind the
right one.

1ou aren(t going to ind Mr. Right on the very irst attempt.
Sometimes you have to date a lot o men to ind the right one. Most
$omen out there don(t really date as many men as they could. 3ut
let me assure you that i you are loo"ing to ind a ?uality mate=you
might need to $iden your hori6ons.

And there is nothing $rong $ith meeting ne$ men as long as you
never do anything serious or get physical $ith them. At the same
time this $ill sho$ you $hat "ind and dierent types o men out
there> this $ill allo$ you to ma"e a !etter decision in the long run.
146

'omen $ho don(t really date that much and put all hope in %ust one
man oten ind themselves getting overly desperate as time passes
!y. This happens !ecause they have the !elie that they only have
this one man and i they end up scre$ing it up# they might not ind
anyone else# $hich %ust is not true at all.

Li.e is too short to 3aste on emotional stress.

Some people live lie as i they thin" they $ill live orever. 4ie is
%ust too short to $aste on emotional stress# something that comes
rom ending up $ith the $rong "ind o a guy. Thereore it(s
e9tremely important to learn ho$ to say no to men $ho don(t really
match up $ith $hat you $ant.

And it(s really important to set !oundaries early on or else you $ill
only let emotionally draining men come into your lie# causing you
nothing !ut more pain.

Never ass-me 3hat 1o- 3ant is 3hat he 3ill 3ant as 3ell.

Men are dierent=period. + you are in the company o a man and
eel this a$esome connection he(s not necessarily eeling the same
$ay at that moment as $ell.

Ater spending a e$ more moments $ith him# you might see him
as good relationship material !ut he doesn(t necessarily see you the
same $ay. 1ou might !e thin"ing one thing and he could !e
thin"ing the e9act opposite o it.

1ou might !e thin"ing o going out on another date and getting to
"no$ him more# $hile he could !e sitting there thin"ing ho$ to get
you into !ed. This is the reason $hy you must accept the act that
men are dierent and they don(t al$ays $ant the e9act same things
you $ant.

147
Never stic5 aro-nd a man in ho9es that he might commit in
the .-t-re.

+ it has !een several months or years and he has sho$n no signs o
commitment then it(s !etter to move on. A man $on(t magically
decide to commit to you some day $hen he can(t really ma"e up his
mind a!out you.

Stic"ing around such a man is as !ad as trying to run a car $ith a
lat tire=it $ill only go so ar !eore it overloads the engine and
comes to a complete halt. Thereore# it(s !etter to change the tire.

And that(s e9actly $hat you should do $ith men. Stop $aiting
around or him to change his mind. 4ie is too short. +t(s !etter to go
out and ind someone you $ould !e more compati!le $ith.

Tal5ing things o-t doesn2t al3a1s 3or5 in the man2s 3orld.

5iscussing pro!lems and issues you may !e having in your
relationship can !e pretty over$helming or a man $hen he doesn(t
really "no$ $hat to do.

This is $hen he pulls !ac" and $ithdra$s a !it and it(s important
that you let him have his space. 'hen you give him enough space
he $ill !e in a !etter position to ma"e his mind up and resolve
issues.

Al3a1s 5ee9 1o-r e89ectations realistic.

The astest $ay to rustrate yoursel is to e9pect things rom a man
he $ill never !e a!le to give you. 'omen oten email me as"ing
?uestions li"e*

+ $ant him to do this@'hat do + say to him that $ill ma"e him do
it8
148

Guess $hat8 'e have already discussed the act that you can(t
ma"e men do things !y orcing them to do it. +t $ill scare him o.

1ou might say# :+ $ant him to treat me li"e a princess# !ring me
lo$ers every day and share his eelings.; 3ut guess $hat8 +t(s not
going to happen. 1ou(re as"ing or too much. 1our e9pectations are
unrealistic.

This is $hy you should al$ays e9pect realistic things rom your man
or else you $ill only ind yoursel disappointed yet again.

The 3a1 he .eels aro-nd 1o- 3ill determine the length o.
1o-r relationshi9.

Another ?uestion + get very oten is*

+t seems li"e my man has allen out o love. 'hy is he acting distant
all o a sudden8

This happens $hen you start out !eing a high ?uality $oman and
as the time passes !y you get too comorta!le and thin" no$ you
can %ust let things run !y themselves. 3ut guess $hat8

+t doesn(t $or" that $ay. 1ou can(t sit in the driver(s seat o a car
$hile you are on the ree$ay and then say# :'ell no$ the car can
run !y itsel#; and leave the steering $heel.

1ou are very li"ely to crash i you do this. Similarly# relationships
re?uire constant $or". Couples $ho maintain a happy relationship
or years understand this secret. They "no$ they have to $or" at it
every single day. There is %ust no other $ay around this.

3ut here is the good part. )nce you reali6e ho$ much un it really is
and ho$ satisying it can !e to have a ulilling relationship that
149
provides you $ith ultimate peace o mind# you are automatically
$illing to do $hatever it ta"es.

Never e89ect him to magicall1 read 1o-r mind and .ig-re
o-t 1o-r needs.

Many $omen !elieve that men should !e a!le to read their mind
and magically igure out their needs. The most common line + oten
hear is* :+ he truly loves me he should "no$ $hat + need.;

Guess $hat8

They can(t. They don(t have a magic radar to tell them $hat(s really
going on inside your head. They $on(t have any clue a!out your
needs unless you communicate them in some $ay.

Some $omen orm unrealistic needs in their head# and don(t even
!other to communicate them to their partner. And the moment their
partner does the e9act o opposite o $hat they e9pect they eel
rustrated and oten end up arguing.

The man has no idea $hy you(re so rustrated and only ends up
more conused. + you $ant your relationship to lourish you have to
!e a!le to communicate your needs either directly or indirectly. And
at the same time you shouldn(t al$ays e9pect to get a yes
response.
Don2t o9en -9 too m-ch too earl1.

Some $omen treat the irst date li"e a %o! intervie$ and tell the
man everything# including personal details they shouldn(t !e giving
out# all in an attempt to impress the man and sho$ him that she is
interested.

3ut in the man(s $orld this is dead !oring. 5o you "no$ $hy8 +t(s
150
!ecause !y telling him so much a!out yoursel so early you are also
indirectly telling him that you are really interested# $hich he
interprets as !eing too needy.

The irst date should al$ays !e short and you shouldn(t give out too
much inormation a!out yoursel. /ven i the guy as"s you some
personal ?uestions# it(s important to politely reuse !y saying
something li"e# :'ell + don(t "no$ you $ell enough to share these
things $ith you.;

This $ill ma"e him admire you more or maintaining certain
standards and stic"ing to them. The purpose o a irst date is to get
him to call you and i9 another date. Thereore i you give out too
much inormation right a$ay you aren(t leaving enough material or
the second date.

And !y not giving out too much too early you have created a sense
o mystery. And mystery is something men love. +t ma"es you a
challenge or him and he $ill !e driven to as" you out again.

*hen he as5s 1o- o-t<don2t sa1 1es right a3a1.

5o not say yes right a$ay $hen a man as"s you out# even i he(s a
superBhot guy you(ve !een $anting to tal" to or ages. Saying yes
right a$ay might surprise him a !it and might ma"e it o!vious that
you are already interested.

1ou don(t $ant him to "no$ that you(re interested in him yet
!ecause that ma"es you a !it too easy to get and there is no
challenge in that.

Act as i you aren(t really sure $hether you should go out $ith him
or not. 'hen you act as i you aren(t too sure he $ill try harder. And
$hen he tries harder he $ill !e scared to lose you or scre$ up.

151
This $ill al$ays "eep him overly interested in you# during the date
and even ater to ensure he gets to go out $ith you again.

Final 3ords @ 4o3 to -se this in 1o-r li.e<
Alright- No$ you have all the tools you need to attract the right guy
and "eep him or good. So here is the ne9t thing + $ant you to do@
+ $ant you to go through this !oo" again one more time.

1ou see# $hen you do something once# you get a !road idea. 3ut
$hen you do it again# it really gets hard$ired into your !rain. 'hen
you put these ideas into practice or the very irst time you $ill eel
a !it uncomorta!le.

+t happens $hen you try to do something ne$. Similar to learning
ho$ to drive a car or the very irst time# it seems very diicult# !ut
$ith time your mind gets programmed and you are a!le to do it
naturally.

And that(s e9actly $hat + $ant you to do. + $ant you to use these
tools in your everyday relationship situations. The more you use
them the !etter you $ill get.

/ventually you $ill ind yoursel at a point $here you $on(t struggle
to understand men anymore and you $ill attract them more
naturally $ithout trying. 1ou $ill ind that you(re !ecoming
genuinely happy in a $ay that you(ve never elt !eore.

No$ there is a!solutely no reason or you to struggle $ith men and
relationships=/J/R AGA+N- So + hope you $ill put all this into
practice right a$ay. + promise you $ill have success !eyond and
a!ove $hat you ever thought possi!le. All the !est.
152
153
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