1

THE OTHERNESS
A Personal Interaction



Tim Watts




If others see what I have seen
It must be a vision and not a dream

William Morris
Architect / Artist
















2

Acknowledgements


My most heartfelt gratitude will surprisingly be towards those who have no
knowledge of this book or of my experiences. Close family and friends have
proven to be the most solid without so much of an inkling of the double life I
have led. As close as these people are, they will never experience either the
brilliance or confusion that otherworldly interaction plunges you into and in
so many ways I feel sad that I cannot share this insight.
I would also like to offer my condolences to those who have suffered at the
hands of extraterrestrials or paranormal entities because my encounters have
never been this way. I dont pretend to have the answers but consider the
subject of interaction to be a science in itself offering a vastness of
experience. There will certainly be a time brought about through a
breakthrough when the subject of high strangeness will no longer be that
way and the mystery behind personal experience will have been answered.
Here in my 30s there are endless questions in my life still unanswered but
the relatively short history of strangeness I have led is deeply explored in
these pages. I hope that the briefness of my story will perhaps herald a
greater and more complete saga ahead like a seed waiting to hatch.

I will never stop waiting for the answer.










3
Chapter Outline

Introduction
An introduction to esoteric phenomena and why I believe my experiences were quite
unusual even for paranormal models.

1) The Secret Mould
My early years and the cryptic preparation for things that I had no idea existed. This
chapter covers my strange childhood preoccupations such as magic and folklore together
with mysterious layers of untaught knowledge.

2) A Leak in Pandora's Box
Following a flashback memory later in my adult life, I seemed to remember a strange
childhood incident quite differently, one which pointed to a wealth of deliberately hidden
information. The climax to this led to a classic UFO abduction.

3) Activation
This was perhaps the strangest chapter in my book and my life. I had started to do things
quite out of character and lived episodes of otherworldly experiences that were almost
indescribable. A new friend had come into my life who didn't seem to be from this world
followed by a bizarre memory of a hidden UFO episode. I later remembered being led to
some sort of secret ceremony; an initiation to remember?

4) Living Programme
None of the above really sunk in until I triggered a fading memory of a seemingly UFO
encounter I believe happened back in 94. I came to the conclusion that nondescript
entities had interacted in my life right from an early age and perhaps departed during that
ceremony. They seemed to have left some sort of psychic mechanism in my mind that I
believe operates to this day.

5) The Truth in Yesterday
The psychic mechanism, whatever it was, spoon-fed the most peculiar information about
my personal history that wasnt there before. This chapter details those memories
alongside my personal theories and aims to address the significance behind it all. I cannot
honestly say that these new memories were my own as they pointed towards other
realms, dimensions and even other experiences through a multi-awareness phenomena
explained in this chapter.

6) Aftermath (The New Revelations)
I thought I had actually completed the book before strange new experiences prompted me
to write this chapter. Revelations arose and continue to.


Postscript
Glimpses of Tomorrow: a chronicle of personal premonitions and scientific insights.

4

Introduction


To an animal, the civilised world must appear a bizarre place. Their knee
height perception of the things we do must appear as puzzling as it is
awesome. Our purpose, our values, our use of time, cognition and memory
are things we probably can't even translate within the animal kingdom.
Reality must mean something quite different to different species.
Over the years, I have come to believe in the existence of another species,
one that is not classified in our knowledge of the world. I am finally
convinced of a higher kingdom of nature where reality is not only taken in
through the five senses and our version of it is not necessarily the ultimate
one.
I cannot help but compare the relationship we have with this higher world
and its species to the relationship animals have with us. We have probably
interacted unknowingly with other realms for centuries in ways we are not
familiar with, ways in which our awareness and inquisitiveness stretches no
further than that of a cage of gerbils when confronted with their outside,
the domain of their owners.
Having an awareness of the other side of nature is nothing new.
People all through history have reported periods of high-strangeness, things
which can only be labelled unexplained. This is not unlike being the
animal that curiously glimpses the comings and goings of our world and
tries to register what it has seen. This other realm interacts with us at the
strangest intervals and our ability to define it is sometimes as limited as the
animal's. I sometimes wonder if our minds are deliberately designed not to
solve the mystery of the universe or think beyond our reality any more than
cattle are supposed to think beyond theirs.
I hope this is not so with the human race and that our evolution is limitless.
If my experience with this other realm is something which we will
eventually evolve to then there are some breathtaking leaps ahead in our
development. I know because I've seen some of them.
Like many others exposed to the strangeness of the paranormal and
unknown realities, I have sought ways to define what is going on. This is
what anyone would do as a means to feel in control. The truth is I don't have
any control and I am not sure anyone else in these circumstances really does.
5
All I can possibly do in terms of empowerment is write about the things that
have happened in the way I've interpreted them. That is what this book is
about, my life's interaction with another side of reality. That doesn't
specifically mean ghosts, UFO's or the legend of Atlantis and interaction
doesn't necessarily mean being whisked away by aliens. It means something
else on a deeply personal level that could be the common denominator to all
these phenomena. Ideally it is about a personal interaction with something
that I have come to call the Otherness.
Writing about the presence of ghosts or extraterrestrials would be a lot easier
but that would only add to the man-made definitions of the paranormal
already there and not accurately tell my story. My encounters have been
more of an alternative state of being than anything else, something which
British paranormal researcher Jenny Randles has come to term the Oz
Factor. This is a silent dream-like state where birds, insects and everything
around seem to be put on a still pause. It is where human consciousness will
readily accept the bizarre just like dreaming Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz.
Stage hypnotists love this state of being and can coax their subjects into
doing almost anything as their conscious sense of critique is down and only
sub-consciousness responds. It also explains how an advanced race of beings
have managed to manipulate my mind into accepting the most outrageous
scenarios without question, just like in a dream. I strongly suspect this is the
method behind many of the reported UFO abductions.
So where exactly do we go when all this happens? The Otherness is all about
that particular place, whether it be deep in the mind or on another plane of
reality. I really don't have the answer to its location or its existence but I
have been privileged to a fantastic insight of its mechanisms. It is a peculiar
place, an understatement maybe.
This new state or place of being bears all the hallmarks of a dream, the
inconsistency and the lucidity. The only difference being that something
remarkably significant has actually taken place whereas a common dream
would appear gobbledygook. The sleeping state appears to be remarkably
significant and it seems to be the time when a subliminal or spiritual species
prefer to interact. During the night I often slipped into an ancient realm
which leaves me wondering why others already havent. I am finally
convinced of another zone that abductees and out of body experiencers are
transported to in their hazy nocturnal hours. Ive been to this place and it is
fascinating.
In this book I will try to delve deeper into the stranger aspects of this zone
6
and why the presence of its inhabitants appear so bizarre. I will explore why
the agenda of visitors coming to this side of reality seem so cryptic and
sometimes absurd. Above all I will demonstrate why the Otherness is about
a secret life that I have unwittingly lived as well as being another side of the
physical world that we think we know.
I have to begin by saying that my paranormal experiences have been quite
different from most. I must reiterate that I cannot compartmentalise what has
happened to me as a typical ghost case or UFO experience as my
experiences seem to cover so many areas. What started with a strange
memory followed by a UFO type encounter has triggered a shower of
peculiarities ranging from dj vu to some kind of parallel reality. Not even
the Oz Factor can explain all.
This Oz Factor has proved to be far more than just a state of mind. For me it
has become a gateway to an intangible and esoteric world which folklore
calls fairyland. Intangible in that I can never reach out and define it as an
essential source of evidence. This of course leaves me without so much as a
grain of proof and not a leg to stand on.
Even as I write, I feel myself wince at the absurdity of what I have to say.
These things just don't happen. How can I ever expect anyone to believe
this? And very little of it has actually taken place in the reality we're used
to. Somewhere remote, it is all very real and has a solid significance. The
significance is the mystery I call interaction, and again that is what this book
is about. The how and the why behind it all is not really for me to say
but I can at least try to translate the magic behind the Otherness and what
you will see on these pages are my best interpretations.
Sometimes I feel like the Amazonian who has been given a fantastic glimpse
of civilisation and actually approached it. My task now is to go back to the
tribe and try to relay the strange tales of the new world. I am not an explorer
of that world, rather I have been drawn or plunged into it and for some
reason been granted the special privilege of memory. The inhabitants of that
civilisation have allowed me to remember.
My memory is not the only rarity here. I can honestly say that none of my
experiences have been unpleasant. Never have I encountered any threat or
presence of evil on the other side. I have also never needed the valuable
service of hypnotic regression, which is strange because I suspect my
memory has often been tampered with. Because this has been such a deeply
personal interaction and so cleverly disguised leaving no trauma whatsoever,
there has been very little call for any investigation. There are very few
7
people that I have actually approached and this I believe is rare.
I cannot approach people with these tales as it invariably leads to ridicule
and denial. Denial probably being slightly sinister because it suggests that I
have stumbled across something perennially dangerous that shouldn't be
touched. I sometimes wonder if the same people who baulk are the ones who
secretly fear or know there is more to life than we actually come across.
The esoteric beings that pull the strings to my life and many others want to
leave as little trace or suspicion as possible. This allows a huge agenda free
to carry on uninterrupted and there are many books on the paranormal that
also suggest this. What concerns me is that it doesn't just limit itself to the
stories of alien abductions. A secret agenda seems to apply also to haunting
and outer body experiences just as if they are a part of the same tapestry.
In the past few years I have been reading up on religious histories as well as
paranormal phenomena to try to shed some light on this strange and hidden
study. It makes me wonder how much information we actually have about
this institution and how much our ancestors really knew about it. Why have
these things established themselves so well within our folklore? We just
seem to live on with this accepted knowledge of our culture yet alarm bells
only ring when were confronted with something. Angels and aliens
instantly strike me as something already known about from bygone days.
In my moments of strange interaction, I have met people who demonstrate
things to me. Communication is always through the silent oddity that we call
telepathy and gestures are made about things that certainly confuse.
However, I am convinced that what was shown to me has a tremendous
significance. So much of it is firmly anchored in our culture and smacks of
familiar rituals that humans have carried out in our past. For instance, there
is something about the ritual behind freemasonry and stage magic that has
this uncanny resemblance to the bizarre ceremony I have witnessed. It seems
that the powerful use of gesture goes hand in hand with these beings
telepathy and at times I have seen things which resemble magic wands,
pointed hats, mysterious boxes and cloaked dwarfs. Despite the Alice in
Wonderland type scenario, my experiences also have an ultra hi-tech theme
that is straight out of tomorrow. I have seen the mythical world of wizardry
used amongst technology to which our imaginations havent yet stretched.
I am not from a cultural background that would favour any of these
scenarios. Instead, I just take what I saw and relay it the best I possibly can.
In fact, I believe there is a common bond that links everything paranormal.
But does anybody really know why we use magic wands in conjuring and
8
what the significance of the magicians box is? I suspect there are those that
do.
I have often thought of this knowledge as institutional like a secret torch
handed down from the keepers of ancient legend. It would explain our
legacy of Masonic secrecy.
If this is a part of a hidden institution secretly passed down to me then the
question is surely why? Where exactly do I fit in? I am not a part of any cult
and possess nothing unusual in mind or body so the question screams, why
me?
David Ike, the much-ridiculed sports commentator turned prophet and author
of many spiritual- themed books was once posed exactly the same question
on a television interview. Why had this mediocre sports presenter with little
influence on the spiritual been chosen as a type of messianic prophet only to
be the subject of endless jibes? His answer was a simple question. Why was
Jesus, a humble, unknown carpenter from Nazareth turned out to be
mankinds saviour and the founder of the Christian religion? In other
words, why do bizarre and groundbreaking phenomena take place with the
most unassuming people?
I am not claiming to be a messiah of any kind, but I will not be the first
unknown to have had something strange happen to them. If there really were
such privileges, then why not grant them to the Pope?
I dont think it works that way. I believe that a higher civilisation or race of
beings have some kind of selection criteria but it isnt based on intelligence
or spiritual development as some will have you believe. I do not want to
mislead anyone into the condescension of New Age belief where only the
highly developed achieve enlightenment. I for one have never meditated and
probably have more materialist beliefs than most but what happened during
my secret life is another matter.
It isnt that I have met with interplanetary beings or can prove there is an
afterlife but my experiences have provided me with a strong suspicion that
religion, New Age and science are not necessarily set in opposing quarters.
Somewhere along the line they link hands quite naturally but the authority of
each quarter will never let us see where. The beauty of not being from any of
these backgrounds helps me see the whole phenomenon without bias. I can
see why we thought of otherworldly beings as demons or angels hundreds of
years ago and I can also see why we think of them coming from other
planets today.
9
For me, I find science the best tool for interpreting the paranormal. It enables
me to accept the phenomena at a grass roots level and seems to help explain
the mechanisms behind religion without necessarily disputing it. I would
love to be the first able to prove that the concept of an ethereal world is not
as far away as people would believe and that you need not be a yogi to
finally discover everything.
I am not an atheist but believe that maybe one day, God can be put under the
microscope and that a high-tech medium will eventually propel us through
the gates of Heaven. It is, after all, a growing awareness that helps us cross
that line of taboo and allow the unknown to become known.
Like many others exposed to the paranormal, I have a strong feeling that
those who monitor us, the angels, alien overlords, whatever are guiding us
towards transformational changes like parents holding the baby as it learns
to walk. This might mean that we are about to become them, taking our
place alongside the makers.
Something somewhere is preparing us gradually without our conscious
minds being aware but that is changing.
For the first time in evolution the cattle are becoming curious. They are
venturing way outside of their field and what they are finding keeps them
coming back for more until their knowledge becomes altered forever. The
livestock are about to finally take their place amongst the farmers and this
bizarre and ongoing harvest will no longer be a mystery.












10

1
__________

The Secret Mould

I was always being prepared for something. Looking back, there was always
this reserved suspicion that my history of interaction was actually a
programme of some kind. This isnt something I can elaborate on; its more
a case of knowing.
Secret knowledge appears to be the bottom line for my experiences and has
proved to be the cast that formed my interests. Reservoirs of untaught
information are a common theme with alien interaction and in my case, it
has been more of a way of life.
We accept the most bizarre things when growing up and only in our sober
hindsight of adulthood do these things appear strange. I realise how the mind
changes over the years along with our sense of reality but it doesnt explain
why we sometimes instinctively have a fixed view towards something
without even questioning it. If theres never been a known source for your
influences, you cant help wondering where they came from.
I now know that the human mind can be programmed. Im not talking about
verbal influence or hypnosis but something far cleverer and more effective
that causes you to hit a kind of boundary when you try to access it.
Somebody has been programming my mind this way where I would simply
go through my days believing that nothing is out of the ordinary and
everything is the norm. I am going to refer back to this altered state called
the Oz Factor because that I believe is where the programmers themselves
operate.
An abductee can be halted at any time during the Oz Factor and sent into an
altered state where everything happens in slow motion. It wont be until a
much later stage that they realise something strange has happened along with
missing time.
I believe that my programming has been even more advanced than this as I
have grown up without suspicion. In fact, I havent even been allowed the
faculty of wondering because my firm belief always insists that the
paranormal happens only to others. Again this was just an unquestioning
11
mode of thought that didnt seem to come from anywhere. It wasnt until
the programmers themselves decided one evening in early 1996 that I should
finally remember. Prior to this, any level of strangeness belonged to the
subconscious realm of dreams or the domain I called the Otherness.
Over the years I have learned a number of things about these programmers.
As clever and advanced as they may be, their system is not without flaw.
They obviously want a process as uninterrupted and free from suspicion as
possible, but that isnt always the way it works. Look how many people who
suspect missing time finally turn to hypnosis and reveal a huge chunk of the
alien agenda. Look how many photographs and widespread stories of the
paranormal have broken onto the news and onto bookshelves everywhere.
Perhaps these people are only a handful of the experiencers existing.
Thousands of others like myself may have participated in this way without
being aware and will remain unaware indefinitely. I also suspect that the
terrible leakage in the system coming from the outrageous minority making
these claims have probably made their perpetrators tighten their belts. It
would explain why my experience with these visitors have been even more
stealthy and less like an alien involvement. Their ingenious method of
inducing amnesia hasnt made me care to try hypnosis and not once have I
ever (knowingly) been exposed to the archetype alien entity known as the
grey.
Pictures of these creatures dont strike a chord with me. That isnt to say that
my version of events are correct and everyone elses are false, it just
suggests that perhaps I am one of the first to witness a new or changing face
of the paranormal. The fact that my experiences have never been unpleasant
also suggests something very new indeed.
Maybe this is just a subjective thing. I often wonder if the inhabitants of the
paranormal somehow prescribe different programmes for different subjects.
What would appear as a malevolent grey brutalising some poor subject onto
a higher fear threshold would deliberately appear quite differently to
someone else. The more I read about other cases makes me appreciate just
how different this interaction can be and just how fortunate I am. To be
honest I am not as strong or brave a person as I would like and perhaps my
threshold for stress is simply too low for that treatment. Perhaps the entities
themselves are aware of this and have somehow offered a more sophisticated
course of action where I would be totally oblivious to what is happening.
Even this extensive level of stealth offered to me has proved to have its
leakages. There are hints of strangeness that have manifested themselves to
12
me during childhood although not necessarily in an alien or paranormal way.
It was more in the manifestation of my early ideas and interests that
suggested something strange was going on. As a child I seemed to have
interests and impressions that were never fed from anywhere.
Where did I acquire this early fascination for conjuring and magic when I
had hardly seen it practiced anywhere? Why was I preoccupied with the
notion of robed beings like monks who I believed carried out this magic?
Why was a late developer like myself questioning the basic laws of physics
at such an early age where I would spend hours with an electric torch
wondering why I couldnt manipulate its light? Almost as if Id seen it done
somewhere. The night time occurrences were the strangest. I would often
drift off to sleep with a series of numbers and advanced equations whizzing
through my mind followed by the most vivid dreams of flying. Not the usual
flying dreams that we all have but ones of being in complex machines.
Before I go into any depth about these, I need to reiterate the point I made
earlier about the notion of being selected. This isnt a privilege and I am
not a celebrity or author who aims to take you on any New Age journey of
enlightenment. This is the first book I have written and my convenient knack
of explaining the unusual only comes from experience.
The truth is I am nobody. If the criteria for selection was based on
sophistication, then I probably wouldnt have touched first base. In fact the
life I thought I had led (the one I consciously remembered) was no more
than a mundane legacy of under-achievement. I cannot remember any
promising potential shining through as a child which would suggest I was
destined for anything great. This book is largely about those two lives, the
conscious one and the shrouded one revealed. I have found the contrast
between the two to be quite breathtaking.
As the book continues, you will begin to see the reason for selection and
what that criteria may be. I can assure you that it isnt something you have to
slave at through personal development. Like most experiencers of the
unusual will tell you, it just happens.
The interactive experiences I have had were delivered to a lifestyle that was
not particularly unique. I was born in the late sixties into a working class
family living just outside of London. My father was a taxidermist and my
mother a florist and although they were never poor, I remained an only child,
possibly because it was manageable and partly for financial reasons. I think
the social or financial category would have been upper working class, for
me, however, I can only describe it as comfortable. I never went hungry or
13
without anything and cannot claim the nobility of being poor.
Being an only child did contribute toward me developing into a loner, which
is a trait I have to this day. From an early age I seemed to build up a
resistance against loneliness or boredom by acquiring this strange world of
my own. Like most children, I had imaginary playmates but these would
occupy an unhealthy amount of my time. Today I am not so sure they were
imaginary at all and I doubt childrens creative abilities stretch that far.
Nevertheless, the activity kept me occupied and as always the interaction
was pleasant enough to keep me coming back for more. Whatever it was I
interacted with knew exactly what it was doing and had a lifelong agenda
planned for me.
This hidden activity would prove to cause problems for me later on,
particularly when I began school. Years later, a teacher described me as
having too much activity going around in my head. I would often get into
trouble for being miles away and tuning out at the most inconvenient
moments. Being in a world of my own meant I would regularly get
reprimanded by the teachers who at one point thought I was hard of hearing.
I remember when I was about 7 years of age, a specialist was called into the
school to test my hearing abilities. After a tedious test of repeating words
spoken to me both clear and muffled without saying pardon once, it
became obvious that there was nothing wrong. This led to the obvious
pondering and humming adults do when pretending to understand. They
could only diagnose me as being persistently miles away which was
something that would follow me through my schooling and adult life.
Having a label of being a daydreamer would have been acceptable had there
been some evidence of academic success to compensate for it. The trouble
is, there wasnt, and within the black and white reasoning of children (and
sometimes teachers) this meant quite plainly that you were thick. This
stigma was worse as it led to a kind of despondency where I would opt out
of studying and go further into my world of magic. My whole attitude to
study eventually became one of why bother, particularly when there was
this head full of strange activity that made the absorption of new knowledge
a huge task. I can remember times where I would find it agonising just to try
to digest so much as a paragraph of a textbook when it didnt appeal to me. I
could describe it as a bulimic mind: it simply wouldnt accept information,
especially if that information didnt match what was within. If this was some
fault of the aforementioned programming rather than just a lazy or feeble
mind, then someone somewhere possesses some frightening uses of mind
14
control.
Could I have had a separate education coming from elsewhere?
Having said all of this, there were times where my awkwardness would
triumph and signs of this hidden world would prove to be an asset creatively.
Whenever there was the opportunity to express my mind rather than develop
it, people seemed to take notice. Writing stories from my own initial ideas
was always a success at school and many times I would be asked to read my
stories to the class. Looking back there were some funny ideas that I would
incorporate into my writing which would baffle teachers and often myself. I
seemed to have these preconceived ideas about how things were rather than
the way they were factually. So many times I would be challenged on facts:
But there arent any monks who practice magic
Steel isnt organic like wood and cannot be grown, it has to be
welded.
How can you fly over the Earth without the use of a spacecraft?
I would grow up dismissing these strange ideas as a part of my undisciplined
imagination or as something odd from my dreams. What I wasnt aware of
was that these ideas were developing more into fixations. Like most things, I
kept them to myself and had learned the art of what not to say, particularly if
it would alarm or embarrass.
Quite often they would manifest in my schoolwork and I found that teachers
would either keep very quite about my odd theories or assume that I picked
them up somewhere. This would happen when I was old enough to do
science at school and had to write why you thought things were as they are.
This first happened early in my secondary school during a particular exercise
in the science lesson where we would be asked to write about a certain
question, the answer to which remains unknown to this day. Something
about why a multitude of different colours would always appear beige when
spun around at a certain speed. I didnt really know the answer but I wrote
something to the effect of the light reaching you from the spinning object
only allows you to see a vague combination of the primary colours while the
others absorb into the speed of the wheel. This may have seemed a
plausible, albeit advanced explanation for an 11 year old, but take into
account I didnt really understand what I was saying.
The teacher didnt pursue this written theory although she casually
remarked, Whos your older brother doing physics in the fifth year?
15
This alternative set of rules embedded in my mind appeared to have a
particular theme to them that did not come from my culture. My fascination
with stage magic and conjuring had come from my parents practical trades,
I assumed. From an early age I had wanted to be a stage magician and would
often practice and play out the scenes in my bedroom. Again I would have
preconceived ideas about how it should be done and what to expect. During
these fantasy scenes I would be accompanied by a team of magical dwarfs
who acted as my helpers and I would possess a metallic box that lead to a
secret dimension. This was where all the conjuring would take place, the
gateway to the ethereal world of spirits and goblins.
The vagueness I had about what to expect during my sessions of magic
would often lead to frustration. Why didnt that just vanish and appear
elsewhere? Im sure Ive seen it done somewhere. When I tried to process
where it was that Id seen it, my head would burn as if I approached a
forbidden boundary. I knew that somewhere these tricks were performed
using tools far more sophisticated than the plastic toys I had. Somewhere
existed a world so strange that a mental taboo would crop up just by
wondering about it.
Looking back, the fixations of my young mind appeared to have a pattern
that was etched partly in what we know as folklore. There were cloaked
beings that possessed the power of magic. This would explain my early
fascination with the mystique of monks because that is what they dressed
like. These beings carried out ceremonies that appeared slightly like the
woodland solaces of Wicca people and not unlike the Masonic rituals of
today. These monks would be accompanied by Troll-like people who were
dressed the same only they were like assistants. What these ceremonies were
for was something I could never fathom.
All of this remained as information etched in my mind about things that I
believed existed, not necessarily something that actually involved me. Or at
least I didnt think it did. For me it was just knowledge without a source and
questioning its source would cause it to evaporate just like a fading dj vu,
the intricate work of programmers.
They say that a little information is dangerous, which is why I learned to
keep quiet about these beliefs early on. If you cannot explain how you know
something then you really havent a leg to stand on. Evidence is the factor
that is seriously lacking in these occurrences.
In the event where my mind was allowed the capacity to question the
scenarios, I would always come to the conclusion of dreams. That was it,
16
vague memories of weird dreams, what else could they be?
Most of the time I am sure that dreams are only the resting minds leisure
time where it juggles information around with the dreamers fears and
imagination. There are the rare occasions however where something else
happens between the sleep and waking state, where there is just too much
lucidity and consistency for it to be a dream. The Oz Factor plays its part
here and I believe it to be the habitat of peculiar entities.
These dreams were nothing of the kind. Just like the normal ones, they were
easily forgotten and only recalled in vague patches later. This of course
reinforced their invalidity. It makes me realise now how these shady entities
have fooled so many over the years by manipulating the dream environment.
I now understand the entities patterns and manoeuvres enough to be able to
differentiate between the real and the non during the night encounters.
The dream people of my childhood were different. The ones that came at
night were different from the monk magicians and seemed to display ultra
technology rather than magic. I always knew when I was about to have one
of the night people dreams because the environment around me changed. I
didnt necessarily need to be asleep either. A kind of oppressive atmosphere
would fill the room just before a visit and the sounds around me such as the
downstairs television or the toilet flushing became distant as if underwater.
The interaction always followed on after a mental cascade of numbers which
meant nothing to me.
Once this had happened I was in the night peoples realm, the ethereal and
immaterial existence I call the Otherness. Changes would also take place in
me as I was physically different. Once in this state I could do the things they
did such as float or converse telepathically without questioning the
phenomena. I would often be taken from my bed and led on some abstract
journey. Ludicrous and incredible.
My young mind often assumed these beings were children because of their
size, but when I think back to their actual appearance I realise of course that
they werent. They had all the filled out characteristics of an adult although
they couldnt have been much more than 4 feet high. Their appearance was
humanlike although not exactly. In fact they resembled dolls with their
perfectly proportioned features and smooth skin, so much so that they
couldnt have been human. Another ironic feature they had was painted on
hair just like some of the action dolls I played with at the time. They had to
have been dolls; their mouths were in a fixed position when they spoke to
me without sound.
17
Each of them wore a jumpsuit, sometimes in an orangey brown colour and
other times a dull grey but what each of them had always was uniformity, all
in brown or all in grey. I found that they usually arrived in fours, sometimes
more depending on the operation at hand.
The interesting thing was that I never recalled how they would enter my
bedroom. They would somehow manifest. I would just wake up to find a
suffocating presence in the room together with a dim light that seemed to
come from nowhere with the beings themselves gently coaxing me out of
bed for a task for which I was always strangely prepared. Very little
communication took place but when it did, it was never demanding. Non-
verbal words of reassurance were occasionally spoken in ways which adults
reassure children.
I would then simply float with them as each held me the way a lifeguard
might when teaching someone to swim. Sometimes the atmosphere in the
room felt so thick it was almost like being in water and although my
physical form was still humanoid, its properties were different. I suspect that
we have an in-between state somewhere amidst the physical and astral that
is definitely astral in form but borrows all the human anatomy. I will go into
this halfway state in more detail at a later chapter.
The form that I adopted with the night people allowed me to pass through
solid objects much like a radio wave. I can remember always passing
through a hole in the ceiling (which was never there in the morning) and
actually feeling the texture of the ceiling around me. Wherever we went or
whatever we passed through, the same dim bluish light would follow like an
encompassing halo. When we reached the outside, things were not quite as
expected. In theory we should have been above the rooftop of my house
overlooking the trees and facing the nearby motorway. Instead we were
inside a cave of some kind illuminated only by the dim halo that followed
us. There were steps that led down to a parked vehicle positioned on a kind
of rail track as if it were a funfair ride ready to board. I could never
remember getting inside that car but once inside, it didnt feel as though it
actually moved. Instead, the scenery would change around us as images
would fade and emerge until the backdrop suddenly became consistent. It
would always be a struggle to remember what happened at this stage but I
seem to recall being shown things around me.
The vehicle itself I am almost embarrassed to explain, because immediately
it reminded me of something. I remember it being a flat silvery car without
any edges and no roof above it. Its seating area only came up to the level of
18
our chests (remember, I only had the height of a 7 year old) and I dont
remember feeling any wind pass us as we flew, assuming thats what we did.
The car travelled without sound and was so similar to the comic book flying
vehicle known as the Fantasi-car from the superhero strip the Fantastic
Four. As reluctant as I am to divulge it this way, it is how I clearly
remembered it and conveying it any different would be fabrication. I think
some things are so absurd in the abduction scenario that people often do
modify their stories in order to sound sane!
The absurdity was the main factor that made me doubt all of these events as
dreams over the years. Why would these beings need a vehicle to fly anyway
when they could fly themselves? I have often heard stories of how victims of
alien abduction sometimes suspect that the beings themselves are using
illusions or play scenes in order to mask the reality of the abduction. I
couldnt grasp what was so secretive about this flight scene that would make
my visitors want to mask it as a scene from an American comic book!
Despite the absurdity, Im pretty sure I am remembering it the way it was.
Perhaps the Fantasi-car is just another illusive vehicle alongside the flying
saucer, I really couldnt say.
That would be the extent of my memory with the night people and their
excursions. It didnt necessarily bring me any closer to them or their world.
Questions remained unanswered-- werent even asked. The programmers
had kept me safe in a non-curious state of mind. By morning, the strange
events with the night people were no more than patches of a shady but
familiar dream. There were peculiar occasions however where I would
awake with physical evidence of the dream. For instance, I would find
blades of grass in my bed the morning after dreaming of being in a field with
the night people. Although I could never understand this, it didnt make me
any more suspicious. I would go about my business in the normal way still
believing that my life was as mundane as any schoolboys.
Every day I would travel to school on that well-worn bus dreaming about the
far reaches of space and time, thinking how insignificant my life was
compared with this subject of interest. Connecting these interests with my
own life and its strange moments had never really occurred.
That did not mean that my mind would ever cease its strange fixations. In
fact they cropped up fast and furious. My written stories at school would
continue to have the most baffling themes and theories, which the teachers
were now starting to expect. They had soon put it down to too much
television and at the time I suspected they might have been right. But I
19
couldnt relate my ideas to anything that I had seen on TV or anywhere for
that matter. It all seemed to point to a secret education coming from
somewhere that a boy of my age could never normally access. It would
explain much of the bizarre activity going on in my head around that time
that was causing me to flunk most subjects. The activity generated within
didnt seem to allow for much relevant information to be fed. It was causing
notable failure.
At the back of my mind, there seemed to be an unexplainable consolation
about my academic failure. It was like a distant a voice telling me not to
worry, You know what youre really here for. This went back to the
almost arrogant notion of "being selected" and had I ever questioned this
calling, Im sure it would have responded to the effect of some day it will
all make sense. It was an inbred notion that all of this unpleasant
underachievement was just the rocky road to something big.
The transition to secondary school and adolescence didnt bring me any
closer to an answer. The bane of under-achievement followed me still and
any possible building blocks for an academic career looked pretty unlikely.
My unusual interests and pre-occupations were however growing into
something.
I was becoming increasingly interested in the paranormal and often
wondered why I hadnt come across anything unusual when I was convinced
it existed. There was a magazine around at the time called the Unexplained
which I read with fascination. Each month I waited in anticipation for the
next issue to read up on strange accounts of ghostly experiences and
extraterrestrials. Although I never knew where this intrigue came from, I
seriously felt I could relate to the stories being told, particularly ones of
meetings with strange beings. I tended to skip past the formalities of reports
such as sightings and physical evidence and home in on the more intriguing
aspects such as the personal experiences. These would entail stories of outer
body journeys and actual alien abductions. The stories of personal
interaction would never fail to keep me glued to the magazine, taking in
every detail.
During that time there was the famous case in Yorkshire of a man found
dead on top of a coal heap as if mysteriously placed there from above. He
had been slain by some unknown burns as if from radiation and to
corroborate this story, there was also the case of a local policeman claiming
to have been abducted by a UFO around the same time. This account was a
fascinating one brought into clarity through hypnosis where the man claimed
20
to have been aboard an unknown craft lying on an operating table
surrounded by small robot-like beings examining him.
At times like this I would seriously ponder over the meaning of it all and
wonder if a mass landing was ever going to take place. I often wondered if
we were ever getting nearer to a final revelation of the unknown, God, even?
What would be the outcome of this and would it tell us what happens when
we die? I always harboured this strong suspicion that these phenomena were
all related.
My young mind could only guess what it might be about and my ideas were
of course tainted with popular science fiction. Without the help of these
programming beings of whom I wasnt aware at the time, this fancy
proved to be a damaging tool to mask my experiences and keep them from
my daily life. I would never equate my fascination with the unknown to
personal experience as long as I thought of it in terms of robots and laser
beams. Years would pass before I outgrew my insistence that the paranormal
was all about Star Trek.
As a child, the nearest I would ever come to seeing an unknown object in the
sky was something that we as a family all witnessed and still joke about
today. It must have been about 1981. One winters evening my parents and I
were having dinner when we saw a green fireball whiz through the sky
heading towards Heathrow. My father jokingly pointed up, saying, Look,
UFO! knowing of course my fascination with the subject. We were so used
to seeing fireworks around that time that we quickly dismissed the green
flash as another sky-rocket; although, for a firework, it was unusual. The
object made no sound and had a brilliant green consistency to it. Later that
evening, a bulletin came over on the radio that dozens of reports had come in
of a mysterious green fireball in the sky over London. I suspected it was a
comet, but years later when I would read so much literature on UFOs, I read
something about a government project known as Project Twinkle. This
project was set up in the 1950s to study the mysterious green fireballs seen
across America around that time. As intriguing as it all seemed, I have to
conclude coincidence on that one. I strongly doubt that it had anything to do
with my experiences. In hindsight I find it amusing how inappropriate this
sighting must have been for those who I suspect were involved with me.
Intrigue would always remain together with the strange fixations. There was
something about the image of Earth as seen from space that would always
strike a note with me. Whenever I saw NASAs photographic images of our
planet on television, I would immediately observe and feel a strange
21
familiarity with something. Had I seen this once already other than TV?
This suspicion went back to an early age. My parents remember that when
we would watch footage of the space explorations on TV how I, at age three
or four, would point to the black and white images and say that I had seen
that big globe before. Quite innocently, they would insist that it was our
world seen from space and only astronauts see that. I would remark that I
had seen it and it was bigger!
There is something about the striking image of Earth that moves me even
today. I seemed to recall images of a huge section of a blue glassy marble-
like structure beneath me. All around was dark but the fantastic surface that I
looked upon was illuminated in the most majestic way. My programmers
must have had a job erasing this scene from my mind because its brilliance
grabbed me and always will. I was so in awe of this image that it could have
been a living entity talking to me, like a collective message from its billions
of inhabitants. Even though I never connected this scene with my interest in
the paranormal, I dont think I ever dismissed it as a dream either. This had
to have happened; it was so lucid and intricate.
Like most scenes, I can only remember snapshots and never the sequence of
events that brought me there. My memories seemed to capture images and
emotions and I feel that the gargantuan globe could have been an entity
living and breathing with me. The scene was powerful and more than just a
visual thing.
This snapshot recall of events has taught me a lot about the realm of
existence I call the Otherness. It has been noted that those who experience
the Oz Factor often come across a feeling of time slowing down or even put
on a still pause on time itself. This slow motion or seizure of events can
appear at anytime. Remember how it is when a sudden accident takes place
like dropping a tray full of food in a busy canteen? You almost watch it
happen in slow motion or even experience dj vu as you helplessly see it
happen. I suspect that the operating realm of the Programmers is a kind of
timeless zone where the past, present and future are all an abstract scene of
things happening at once. It is hard to imagine this timeless zone with our
law of physics but it would account for the high (sometimes illogical) level
of strangeness in which these visitors operate.
The still pause of life is another of the many ludicrous ideas I had from an
early age that seemed to come from nowhere but within. As a child, I would
ponder over the boundaries of the universe as many children do, wondering
where it all could possibly end. Surely if there was a boundary, there must
22
be something outside that boundary and if was limited, what was it that
limited it? From a young age I concluded that the universe might be
confined by a boundary in time where time as we experience it simply stops
ticking. A place where there cannot be a before and after or a here or
there. When people talk of doing things in no time, my theory of a
simultaneous universe or timeless zone soon comes to mind.
This could just have been the way my young mind rationalised the common
and frustrating puzzle of space and time. As I mentioned earlier, perhaps our
minds were not designed to solve these problems. It was a theory that really
meant something to me, a subject I could have talked about for hours. I
remember comedy sketches from television shows such as Benny Hill where
he would use a videos remote control to still pause time and events around
him. I often mused at how effective this would be in travelling trillions of
miles in no time. Going through a zone devoid of time or distance. This all
sounds similar to the idea that modern scientists have of tachyons and
bending space/time. It also smacks of the Oz Factor and would allow a
perfect environment for the aliens themselves to operate without so much as
a hint of disturbance. It also reminds me of my absolute confusion about
missing time and its sequence of events.
God only knows how many of these bizarre events have taken place in my
life during this altered state where I explore the Otherness. I had the most
profound snippets of memory that conveyed nothing to me but confusion.
All I really knew deep down was the notion of being prepared. Sometimes
I felt like the wholesome calf being nurtured as a delicacy for the future or
whatever the harvest was. The truth was deliberately spared from me, and in
hindsight, the Programmers must have shown an element of kindness in
doing that. Even if the grand master plan was benevolent, Im not sure how
my young and obsessive mind would have coped with the information.
Perhaps I would have been a nervous wreck today.
Being prepared meant a meticulous process and unfortunately this did very
little for my material needs and future. Sometimes when I look back, I must
have drifted through those years as a zombie because I cannot seem to
account for the way time flew. The process didnt leave room for any other
essential developments and this left me quite maladjusted.
The important years of preparation for a decent future were being neglected
and for some reason I didnt seem to care. Some other project was
subconsciously taking place all the time and my studies were just a type of
supplement to top up this secret project. I realised that a crucial time was
23
looming with final exams on the horizon and necessary qualifications for the
future but even acknowledging this importance didnt alter things. I felt
indifferent to it all. My secret activity of hooded monks and night people
with their ceremonies of magic and bizarre science seemed to take
precedence of everything. In fact it was the real world that seemed the odd
one.
I didnt think it necessary to apply for my final examinations because sitting
them would have been futile. Apart from the core subjects, the rest of the
exams were optional and required payment. I declined them all because I
was nowhere near prepared. This ill preparation had followed me right into
the outside world and shaped me as the proverbial square peg in an
unsympathetic system of round holes.
My early ambitions of going into performing and becoming a stage magician
had seemed to have dried up. The intrigue of conjuring had never really
faded. I had become disillusioned with the conventional ways of going about
it. It wasnt so much the trickery behind magic that appealed to me, it was
the magic itself. When I was old and wise enough to know that the
appearance of magic was just trickery, something inside me just didnt seem
to buy it. Instead of conventional stage magic, my attention shifted towards
the performed feats that couldnt be explained such as telepathy and spoon
bending.
I hadnt abandoned my interest in performing altogether as I had continued
with drama at school which I seemed to have a knack for. With drama there
were no hard and fast rules about how it should be done and I seemed to
shine in the art of portraying other people. I wondered sometimes if this was
due to my lacking personality or the belief that the lives of others were far
more exciting. It did feel like a refreshing escape at the time and above all, it
was fun.
When it was finally time to depart those school gates, I realised I wasnt
going straight into the theatre. However, I enjoyed being in that make
believe environment so much that I had to seek some kind of role there even
if it was stagehand. I collected the occasional stage magazines and looked
for opportunities at any level. I did eventually arrive in the theatrical world
albeit at the very menial levels. This at least provided me with a platform in
which to drift from position to position without ever really going anywhere.
I shifted scenes, I helped out with basic maintenance of the stage but as far
as the make believe world was concerned, I was an onlooker.
At the end of the day, the secret obsessions had dictated the kind of
24
maladjusted life that I had secretly feared. School may have been behind me
forever, but that unforgettable label of hopeless dreamer from my school
reports had prevailed.
I would remain for a very long time without a direction. Halfway through
my twenties I remained without a clue of who I really was or what I was cut
out for. The crazy mind full of bizarre activity had never truly been
addressed as I had only accepted the flippant diagnosis others had given me.
The only reassurance I harboured was the deep suspicion of being selected,
being prepared for some great task. No logic I had could explain it. There
was nothing to support the belief. My future seemed vacant and my purpose
was like putty in the hands of others who were quite out of reach for human
evidence. There were those who truly had me where they wanted me and it
wouldnt be until a later stage, after a series of bizarre interactive
experiences, that an explanation would finally loom.


















25

2
__________

A Leak in Pandoras Box

If there was one thing that astounded me about the Programmers, it was their
ability to induce amnesia. I would never have believed how a sensitive and
conscious person like myself with a marked interest in the occult could have
been shrouded all these years without so much as an inkling.
There were still fragments of memory which didnt seem to fit my life in any
way at all. Much of them were of technology, others of magic and nearly all
of them were of the familiar magic monks of my childhood.
Had there ever been a master plan right from the beginning, I suspect a
destined breakthrough would at least be in the cards some time in the future.
Then there would be answers. It was now 1994 and the lifelong yarn of hazy
memories and bizarre dreams had suddenly started to take shape, albeit
prematurely.
For some reason, memories of seemingly uninteresting events from my past
were striking back at me with a new clarity, revealing far more than I would
have ever recalled. There was a particular time I remember at the age of
about twelve or thirteen when I was taken ill once during school. I briefly
remember being ushered into the medical room and left there to recover.
Something about the event was unusual because at the time I seriously
believed my illness was far worse than the staff at school had recognised. I
vaguely remember laying there wondering why on earth they had left me.
That was it as far as my conscious memories were concerned. I dont even
recall going back to normal lessons that afternoon but obviously I did.
Years had passed and that dull incident hadnt even crossed my mind any
more. It wasnt until thirteen years later, one evening in bed when drifting
off to sleep (a common time for flashback memories) when something struck
me about the event that I hadnt thought of in years. The robed beings and
everything, how did I ever manage to forget that. I sat up in bed with a jolt,
recalling the true version of the incident and feeling gobsmacked as to why it
had never occurred this way before.
26
From what I remembered, it was one of those free for all lessons where
pupils leisurely caught up with their homework, etc., and I recalled feeling
quite peculiar for most of that morning. The pinnacle of that strange feeling
arrived during this lesson and I remember reporting it to the supervising
teacher before nearly passing out. I cannot recall being taken down to the
school medical room but I do remember being there with a number of
teachers and the school nurse around me. As I lay there I remember hearing
the occasional comment like he has a temperature and its the first time
this ones been taken sick and feeling relieved that they recognised it. A
strange thing followed after I heard them say that I should just get some
rest and decided to leave me to recover. I was simply too weak to protest
and just lay there hearing the door close behind them. The deep sleep I
plunged into was second to none but when I came round, things were not as
I had expected.
My first thoughts were why have they moved me? This wasnt the room I
was taken to, if fact I wasnt even sure this was the school. Had I been taken
to hospital?
The room didnt strike me as medical. It was more like a cave of some kind
composed out of wax with a familiar light that came from nowhere. Even the
bed that I laid on was different, like it was filled with gel that seemed to
mould to my very shape. I had never felt so comfortable. It seemed I wasnt
alone, either. Someone was behind me doing something to my head.
How come we changed rooms? I remember asking.
There was no reply. I noticed that the figure behind me was wearing a hood
which I thought was strange. My instant reaction was that it was a doctor
wearing a type of germ protection, something like a surgeons mask. Had
my condition become so serious that I was having an operation? I noticed
that the figure also had company that seemed to stand there and observe his
movements like trainee doctors. I had the impression that these beings,
however many there were, were evasive of being looked at. I asked another
question. Am I allowed to look at you?
There was a pause but this time the doctor of the group responded.
Youre allowed to, but you mustnt get frightened any more.
His answer was surprising. I wasnt frightened, more quizzical than
anything. My impression of being moved to a special ward seemed to have
made a lot of sense but I still couldnt understand where those teachers went
and who these people were if not teachers or doctors.
27
You knew how ill I was, why did you all leave me like that? As
soon as I said this I knew I was addressing the wrong people. The reply,
however, was fascinating because it now makes me realise that telepathy
must have been used. They simply knew what I was referring to.
You can always trust them to do that cant you?
Im not sure if that was the exact reply but it was something to that effect.
His answer had shown a bit of levity which I homed in on. I later learned
how effective this form of communication can be as there can never be any
misunderstandings. I suspect emotions are conveyed with their language and
every message and gesture is properly received without saying pardon.
Sometimes questions are answered before they even leave your mouth. For
instance, while he was doing something to my head from behind, I still kept
wondering where I actually was. I hadnt wondered for long because one of
the beings small helpers walked round to me to demonstrate something. My
first thought was that it was a fellow pupil dressed in a robe because of his
size but my attention was immediately drawn to an object in his hand that he
presented to me. I sat up and examined the object which appeared to be one
of those bowl-like toys that children play with, the ones filled with clear
liquid that display a scene when you shake them--a snow globe. This was
very similar in size and shape and was also filled with clear liquid only there
was no moveable scene inside. Things seemed to happen when I moved it.
The liquid inside was not as clear as I thought it might be, but a cascade of
colours that were created just by slight movement. It wasnt long before
pictures were forming. I couldnt believe that I was actually looking at a
three-dimensional image of the cave type room we were in. As I viewed the
crystal from above, I saw an aerial view of the room with an image of three
brown robed beings examining a boy which I was fascinated to find was me.
As I viewed the object from its side, I would see another angle and so on.
This was the most convincing hologram I had ever seen because even our
own versions are normally on flat objects and never real enough not to be
able to decipher. I mean I could have actually believed there were tiny
beings in that crystal moving around. The choice of image also seemed to
depend on movement and as I tilted it further, the scene would shift to
another one in seconds. The liquid would blacken and then out of nowhere
came a new scene. I remember seeing a number of different images in this
crystal that I couldnt recognise, one of them being an image of outer space.
I didnt know what any of this was supposed to mean to me but I surmise it
might have been a way of demonstrating where I actually was. First the
28
examining room and then goodness knows where.
The object was truly mesmerising. It could do things I had never seen. I
remember turning it at all angles trying to get the picture of myself in the
room, but it was unable to tune in to that again. It was all simply too
much.
I remember the being taking back the object and saying (conveying)
something to the affect of does that answer your question? Following this
was the familiar confusion I have about sequence of events. Everything
happening afterwards seemed to take place in the jumbled fast-forward
mode. I briefly remember something demonstrated to me, a magical feat of
some kind using that familiar box. I never seem to remember what happens
with this box and often wonder if its some sort of amnesia device as its
always the last thing I see. It seemed to be a reminder that the session was
about to come to an end. Just looking at it would bring about the familiar
grogginess where everything became distant.
The whole memory of this strange event from years gone by faded as I sat
there mesmerised in my bed.
I almost begged for the image not to fade on me that evening in 1994. There
I was, sitting up in bed in utter disbelief at a dim memory that I had kick-
started without warning. Only seconds ago I was drifting off into a peaceful
sombre, the type I usually have to struggle to achieve. The serene images
that usually accompany this state were taking shape and then, like a slap to
the face with a cold and damp hand, the sudden memory of that seemingly
irrelevant day in the school medical room appeared. It seemed like an
unthinkable accident on the Programmers part for allowing me to glimpse
that forgotten occasion. As odd as it was, I wasnt going to let go.
I remember getting out of bed and immediately putting the light on. I had to
walk around for a bit just to let my mind recollect the incident that I believed
happened back in 1981, totally different to the way I remembered it.
I remembered feeling sick and dizzy that particular afternoon and had to be
taken to the school medical room. Two teachers and a nurse briefly took my
temperature and left me there to sleep it off. I remember sleeping without a
trace and waking up later feeling better than ever! I returned to lessons that
afternoon and thought no more about it.
However, I always remembered having conversations afterwards that didnt
seem to fit. When asked, I remember telling classmates bizarre tale about the
incident that I knew werent true. Something about being cured by my secret
29
comrades, the magic monks who visited me at school using a crystal ball. I
normally wouldnt have said these things as it would have guaranteed
ridicule or just be seen as flippancy. Although I do remember having some
intrigue about that medical room afterwards and regularly sneaking in there
during break time to investigate. I must have been desperately searching for
that secret cave or whatever it was, the place with the soft and source-less
light. Nothing at all, just the usual bland interior of the school medical room
with its rubbery bed and light green curtains.
It wasnt the first time I had been disappointed by secret locations that
proved not to hold any clues. It was similar to my belief about the magic
hole in my bedroom ceiling that I regularly passed through with the night
people. Nothing was ever there by morning. The strange hangar that housed
the uncanny space vehicle of the night was never on the other side of the
ceiling either, just the same old slate tiling of my rooftop. The magical cave
of the school medical room was just another example. There seemed to be a
consistent theme here about the subject of disassociation cropping up
regularly in my incidents and a few other cases Ive read about. Why is it
that things are sometimes noticeably out of place, almost like there is
another version of them similar to the physical but not exactly? I realise how
this smacks of the dream scenario and reinforces the notion that perhaps they
were all simply dreams but thats exactly the point of my suspicion - the
dream software seems to be used for accessing this strange territory. These
experiences are far too real to be dreams yet they arent exactly like the
physical either.
Getting back to sleep was going to be impossible that night. Too much had
come flooding back and even then as I paced the room, I could feel
something frantically trying to withdraw the memory. I struggled not to let it
go, it was just like trying to recollect the familiar glimpses of fading dj vu.
Something somewhere was trying to restrain my emotions by pumping in
denial before I had a chance to process the notion of a UFO type abduction.
Yet that is what it seemed like, a medical examination at a young age by
non-classified beings, the phenomena that I was convinced I had no part of.
Whenever I tried to think of the incident this way, my head would start to
burn, telling me I had crossed the forbidden boundary. I wasnt going to
retreat this time because I was sure I had something. Somewhere in the past I
had been subject to a paranormal presence and this taboo boundary had to be
explored.
The sudden illness of that particular day and the presence of the brown robed
beings were key features of something in my life that never added up. It
30
certainly accounted for my life-long interest in magic and folklore especially
with that viewing device. What else could that have been if it wasnt some
kind of Gypsy crystal ball? It changed colour. I saw images inside and even
remember glimpsing a picture of outer space. The monks themselves had
shown me a box which could easily have passed as the legendary tinderbox
used in magic to make things vanish. This event just screamed of everything
I suspected about folklore and science and what I believed to be the
foundation of my obsession.
This was a breakthrough. I couldnt contain myself. A voice in the distance
bellowed at me, insisting that it was only a dream but the familiar denial
wasnt washing. In fact I now recognised the denial as part of a phenomena
that didnt necessarily come from me. All these years it had won over by
masking any of the oddities with a type of programme. My own free will and
critical sense now challenged that programme and it was making my head
feel as though circuits were malfunctioning. Regardless of the slight burn
and the confusion that accompanied it, I tried to focus on nothing but that
incident at school. My single-minded thinking that night was finally helping
me to make that breakthrough.
The following few days were equally peculiar. Life would never be the
same. As suspected, I didnt sleep that particular night but instead slept for
most of the following morning. My pattern and lifestyle were changing and
that day, my dreams took on an unusual and bizarre form. I remember
reading many cases from UFOlogy where abductees were warned through
dreams to forget incidents. Alien entities have been known to penetrate
dreams. This is a phenomenon that dates back even further than our folklore.
Wasnt there an event featured in the Bible during the period of Christs
birth where a warning was delivered in the form of a dream? The dream
environment seemed to have been their territory where interaction could
comfortably be carried out without interruption.
Now that my visitors programme had accidentally malfunctioned one
particular night, I had at last been spared an insight into their strange
manoeuvres. I had obviously seen too much. Rather than Pandoras Box
being opened and being saturated with its wealth of information, I had
instead been exposed to just a glimpse when the lid briefly lifted. The Greek
legend has it that this box was filled with hope and I would no doubt become
hungry for more of that hope and it would be much harder to return to the
blissful ignorance I once enjoyed.
A series of incidents occurred in which I would keep waking and drifting off
31
again only to plunge into the most cryptic dreams. It felt as though I kept
being summoned to their realm and its strange system of illusions and play
scenes. In the dreams, the warners would sometimes take the form of
familiar people and then of something more bizarre. I dreamed of a type of
committee of non-human beings addressing me with messages I could never
remember. These beings were like magicians possessing the ability to
masquerade as anyone that my mind conceived. Yet even in the dreams, I
possessed enough free will to resist their demands. From what I remember,
the committee were urging, pleading with me to discard my new memories
because I just wasnt ready for the information behind them. I on the
other hand fought to seize the knowledge I had of that episode because I
knew there was untold information like that ready to be hatched from other
events of my life. I knew that something had been responsible for all of my
peculiarities and that these beings and their hidden episodes like the medical
room were a vital key. Their failed attempts of dissuasion kept luring me
back for more.
I had discovered what it means to have recurring and continuing dreams. For
the next few nights, the secret ethereal committee would continue to plague
me but it seemed that a certain subconscious defiance would have none of it.
I was burning for more information and felt on a high. There was always my
natural fascination with the paranormal and now that I had a bee in my
bonnet about actually being a part of it, nothing could really stop me. I
suspect the Programmers knew this and realised what a problem they had on
their hands altering this programme. In the dreams, the warnings would
border on threats and often accompany strange visual displays which
demonstrated how un-ready I was. I would be shown scenes of myself
cracking up under the new information exposed. Accompanying the scenes
were narrations of how I should pursue different interests in life and steer
clear of anything strange. It was all extremely vivid but I suspect, for the
first time, the Programmers were unable to exert total control.
Aside from the dreams, there were many daytime oddities taking place. In
fact there were irregularities in my whole being that pointed to something
strange going on. My mind seemed to have become an activity zone for dj
vu and these sensations were coming fast and furious. I would never quite
remember the actual nature of these dj vu experiences as they always
deteriorate quickly but I later decided to take note. I had developed a bizarre
list that seemed to point to all kinds of things ranging from non-classified
humans and animals to events.
There were also hints of psychic energies developing that would manifest
32
uncontrollably. At work there were times when I would walk passed desks
and paper documents would fly off and follow me, sticking to my back as
though I carried a static. This would have seemed plausible had it happened
only once or twice particularly as people are known to pick up static
occasionally but this was different. The effects were quite dramatic, even
poltergeist-like. Also it would only happen when I was unaware and if I
tried to incite the effect deliberately, it never worked.
My interaction with people also took a strange turn as I had become extra
intuitive of how they felt and what their thoughts might be. These effects
seemed to cause my emotions to mimic theirs and it left me wondering why
I felt certain things without any reason. When they were down, I would feel
that way also. It was as though their state of mind left an atmosphere in the
room that I would unintentionally feed off of. I remember one particular
work colleague during this time who had gone out of her way to avoid me
ever since that phase had begun. She was a temp worker who like me was on
contract at the theatrical management company where I worked. Long after I
had left I learned that she was actually into psychic studies and possessed
some sort gift from an early age. From another colleague I discovered that
she had sensed something strange about me, ever since a particular given
time which just happened to be the time of my new discovery. I was
apparently giving her the creeps and she felt that I was looking right into her
soul.
During this period I was living with my fianc and so many times we would
have whats known as mutual dreams. I would wake the following morning
and recite the dreams I had which tallied 100% with hers. It was peculiar
situations like these that took a toll on our relationship and even though I
remained on this high, my old reserved self still kept the strange recent
developments a secret. Like everyone else, she remained blissfully unaware.
My lifelong tendencies were difficult enough to live with aside from the
possibility that I might be involved with something unknown. I no longer
brought up the subject of mutual dreaming because it obviously offended
her, understandably so. It was this strangeness and the tendencies of a
double life that eventually caused this relationship to crumble and others that
followed. My loner instincts were causing bad social habits and I was
starting to refer to this Otherness not just as a term for another existence but
for my life also. There were so many undercurrents going on that I was
losing track of who I actually was. A hidden life was desperately trying to
remain that way because of intangible forces at work.
33
It would have been fair to say that the dream scenario had infringed upon my
waking hours and any confidence I had about reality was slowly
withdrawing. I felt no fear, only frustration because I knew this was being
done outside my control. There were times during this period that I would
doubt or forget obvious things and be unable to decipher the real from the
unreal, almost like Alzheimers disease.
My belief system was being toyed with and at times it became very clear
why. There were mornings where I would awake believing that this whole
revelation was just a huge misunderstanding and I should just forget about it.
I must admit, I felt a certain comfort in that belief, but knew deep down it
wasnt mine. These conflicting feelings would cause me to swing to extreme
opinions ranging from sceptic to believer. During the doubting moods I
knew the Programmers were winning, yet there would always be that
glimpse of truth in the background that insisted something was going on.
The conflict continued. There were times when the presences of others were
more prominent--the moments between wake and sleep. On the rare
occasion where I might drift off such as on train or car journeys, the dozing
state would take off with a distant voice summoning me. It wasnt an
unpleasant summoning, more like a parent trying to get the attention of a
distracted child. Occasionally my mind would process a face to this voice
and when I think of it, I could get a focused picture if I wanted to. I have
never been hypnotised but the lucidity I experienced in this halfway state
seemed to be the nearest I would come. In fact, the elaborate detail I picked
up during my dozing moments was sharper than my conscious perceptions.
The face I saw when I chose to examine the voices source was a familiar
hooded being. It wore the brown monks habit that made it resemble one of
those robed dwarf creatures in the first Star Wars film. When I chose to
home in on the face under the hood, I gained an intricate picture, of which I
could have produced a useful portrait of had I been given a pencil. Although
I never considered this being to be evil, the face that I glimpsed certainly
wasnt pleasant. In fact it was so wrinkled and debauched that had I put an
age to it I would have gone well beyond a human life expectancy. It was
how I would imagine a corpse to have looked months after its decease and
its off white colour certainly gave that impression. The wrinkles hardly
allowed the eyes to be visible but what I saw were weathered slits that must
have seen centuries go by. I often wonder if it was a living corpse in a
shroud I was looking at. Had I have witnessed this person in any other state I
would have been undoubtedly scared. The twilight consciousness is an
effective, fascinating place to be in and I can see why the Programmers have
34
hijacked it for their own use.
The being told me things I could never remember afterwards. There were
unrecalled conversations between us where his voice was clear without lips
moving and mine was also present without speech. Whatever was said, I
think I protested. I remember trying to keep the dream consistent and see
how far it would go without consciousness creeping in. Whenever the
slightest fear or doubt came into the scene, my critical sense would rudely
return awakening me with a jolt.
Memories washed away and I returned to my old self. I often suspected that
a delicate communication link was broken when this happened as I always
knew it was never just a dream.
I also suspect that the Programmers tried all sorts of desperate tricks to
interact with me at all possible opportunities. The manifestations of these
attempts seemed alien to me in all senses of the word. Nothing was ever
direct and the scenarios were always abstract.
The dreams continued and appeared to be taking a different form. These
unconscious liaisons with the monks were just as frequent although I was
starting to pick up extra memories of the dream. The monks came in threes
most times, the same particular three it seemed. This was a facet that I
wasnt aware of before. Also when I tried to think of where all this took
place, the dreamscape looked like a desert somewhere with a backdrop of
sand dunes and a sunset. Three robed beings, one of which appeared to be
the leader, set in a type of desert with conversational debates that I dont
clearly remember. What did any of this tell me?
There were other vivid and striking dreams also that appeared more relevant
than the others. These were dreams of a night sky occupied with the most
breathtaking craft which could only have been recognised as UFOs. I would
stand there absolutely spellbound looking up at a night sky filled with these
strange craft with no knowledge of where I was or who piloted these objects.
In the dream, these UFOs didnt appear to be the classical cigar-shaped
objects or the newer triangular ones but a design more akin to something
from centuries ago, gothic even. The craft appeared enormous, bigger than
anything reported so far and had a design more like medieval castles than hi-
tech ships. I remember the craft in all shapes and sizes but each of them
were soundless with a ghostly blue white light and some were slightly
transparent. I have no sequential memories of these dreams, just the
awesome image of this fantastic gothic looking craft taking up the entire
backdrop of sky.
35
Years later I would see similar photographs of these craft from a book about
the famous Gulf Breeze sightings in Florida in the late eighties. The
snapshots were quite fantastic and very similar to the craft I had actually
dreamt about although not exactly. The mysterious blue glow was there
together with the look that wasnt unlike something gothic and the similarity
from my dreams did ring a bell. The dreams I had however displayed images
so lucid and unique that I would have trouble comparing them with anything
I had seen. I recalled these craft having old-fashioned cogs or wheels that
appeared to rotate the ships exterior slowly as it moved through the sky.
There was a type of inconsistency where the texture of the ships surface
would move, stretch and somehow find itself again like the skin of a worm
might. The images I saw resembled something living almost like sky-bound
jellyfish. This movement would alter the crafts exterior and go slightly
transparent as it did so. For all I knew, these craft could have been living
entities rather than just being piloted by them. Their performances were as
angelic and graceful as they were stomach-turning, similar to the way we
might observe an assortment of marine life in a stretch of coral. We would
be mesmerised and in awe of the colourful selection of tropical fish yet be
repulsed by the sudden appearance of an ugly stingray. That mix of feelings
were what I had during the dream.
Because the dreams lacked sequence, the implications were a mystery. I did
feel however that I had some meaningful communion going on with the
scene around me. The entire night sky was lit up with living craft and I
doubt that the scene would have limited itself to just my eyes. The whole
world would have been able to see what I saw that night in the dream. If
there was ever a mass arrival coming from the heavens, that was it!
With all the dreams and heightened strangeness going on in my life at the
time added to its fascination and confusion, the next logical step should have
been professional investigation. Hypnosis would have been an obvious
choice but there was something about this option that just wouldnt give.
Maybe that was a mystery in itself, a factor probably owing to my lifelong
programming. So much bizarre activity continued that the possibility of
hypnosis either got overlooked or just wasnt an issue. There was also my
history of pre-conceived beliefs that made this barrier extremely difficult to
succumb.
I had always maintained that I could not be hypnotised. This was partly
rational and partly pre-conceived. Rational in the sense that I knew myself
too well and how I would respond to being induced to a deep and relaxed
state. I had always been this hypersensitive individual with a marked
36
inability to keep still and my concentration span could be distracted by the
tiniest of turbulence existing outside or in. I always suspected that I suffered
from an extreme (non-fearful) nervous disposition or maybe even a level of
consciousness so heightened that therapies such as hypnosis would probably
seem crude. Simply getting me to relax would have been a challenge.
On the other hand, something inside was manipulating my opinions. It was
like having a type of internal killjoy that kept strongly dissuading me
whenever this impetuousness about approaching someone crept in. Again I
would have this mental burning sensation as I approached a taboo area of the
Programmers work. I found this programming to be so clever that it would
actually alter my opinions. It would make the exciting prospect of divulging
my knowledge appear unappealing. The chances of revealing my
experiences to anyone appeared rather slim.
However, this was the stage in life that I was learning how they were not
infallible. The recent breakthrough seemed to have made these entities
panic, as if a terrible leakage had begun. I honestly felt now that there could
be no denying in what was happening, starting with that memory of the
school medical room, the psychic experiences and all of the bizarre dreams.
The more they struggled to fix the leak the more it would escape in other
areas. Their work seemed to be erupting in me prematurely. I was starting to
think they were probably right; perhaps I wasnt ready for any of this. It
appeared to be more than I could contain.
Their tactics at making me doubt things were indeed powerful and I suspect
desperate measures went into that. There were days when I would think all
of this was nonsense and just a product of my overactive and dreamy
immaturity. I was terribly despondent when this happened. How could I ever
put this doubting down to any outside influence? Sometimes I would suspect
it was just the disappointing symptoms of a late arrival into adulthood rather
than the work of ethereal controllers. Deep down I seemed to know that
these "controllers" were actually the string-pullers of my whole belief
system.
Some of their induced doubts worked easier than others. The medical room
incident, for example could have been an ill-recalled fantasy while the
dreams were just dreams. Whenever the other ruminations occurred about
paper objects sticking to me, the mutual dreaming or any of the undeniable
psychic oddities, something else took place. Amnesia, or at least a botched
attempt at it. Strange beings and their abilities to induce amnesia have
always been a source of wonder for both UFOlogy and folklore. I have
37
started to see a pattern in this ability. Memories of the obvious psychic
incidents were not completely wiped out but instead fabricated with other
things. Whenever I tried to recall certain incidents, a haze would wash over,
allowing everything to become distorted. The moving objects became
manifestations of clumsiness; the mutual dreaming was just the product of
something my fianc and I had previously seen; and the event with the
female co-worker who claimed to have psychic abilities was no more than a
coincidence. Ingeniously engineered rubbish!
As feeble as these explanations had become and as often as they had failed
to convince me, there were times when they would consume me like horrible
realisations. There were so many times when I would accept the denial and
try to get on with my life. Other times, the reality of the events screamed
through and begged for investigation. These were the times that the
Programmers seemed to fear most and they were now about to take a further
measure to eradicate these ideas indefinitely, even if that meant approaching
me in physical form.
If these entities had managed to nest in my mind or have always been there,
I was at last developing an intuition to know of their presence and their
motives. It was as if this telepathic link I had with them was starting to work
both ways, I could now feel their anxiousness, their mutual decisions about
what action to take. The time had come where something radical was about
to take place, although I couldnt be certain what. I knew from my actions
and personal behaviour that something was brewing and I was somehow
being prepared for it.
Why had I suddenly taken to isolated places like national parks? I found
myself regularly visiting the most remote places and feeling a desire to be
far away from crowds, from being visible. This was strange behaviour even
for a natural loner because it wasnt the kind of privacy I normally chose. In
fact, going to these places didnt feel like a compulsion of my own. I would
find myself standing in the middle of a field afterwards wondering why. All
I would remember was this strong desire to be away from it all, to become
ensconced totally in nature and to enjoy the oneness with everything around
me. As much as I appreciated natural beauty, I never really cared for it to the
extent of desiring this type of isolation. Something pulled the strings to my
new found passions and I was well aware of it. Questioning or arguing with
the string pullers was just not a part of the equation; it would be like trying
to maintain control within the deepest dream. I would always wonder how
long and to what extent this has been going on. Were they the reason for my
lifelong tendencies to be a private person? It is said that loneliness is a
38
choice but I am starting to wonder if any of our unexplained tendencies are
choices.
Many of my unexplained excursions would often leave me stranded in the
middle of a well known local park, a place that I had no idea was significant.
Richmond Park is one of our most pleasant and unspoilt nature reserves, and
is located around the areas of south west London and Surrey. Because of its
vastness, roads are built to allow for traffic and wild deer are free to roam.
There are no restrictions on time or boundary in this park which makes it an
ideal excursion for families, lovers or anyone just wishing to wander idly. It
is a place I frequent from time to time, particularly as I live local but during
this period it was somewhere I was becoming magnetically drawn to. I seem
to have been attracted to the parks most isolated reaches far away from
visitors and would find myself wandering off the pathways and across fields
to get there. This would happen either at sunset or night time, usually when
crowds were absent.
What I actually did when I arrived there remains a mystery. I remember
sitting there enjoying the natural isolation of it all, taking it in and being a
part of the tranquillity around me. Watching the sun set behind the trees was
part of the passion and seeing its light gradually diminish around me felt like
magic. What seems strange is that this scenario would normally have
frustrated me no end owing to my usual restlessness and mental over-
activity. The relaxed state that normally takes time to acquire seemed to
have been with me all of a sudden without really having to apply myself.
In hindsight, I was meditating. Without being in a trance or using any of the
concentration techniques, I was as they say at one with nature, breathing it
in and harmonizing with it. This had been happening for days and without
warning. If this was an altered state, it would probably explain why I could
never fully recall it and why the time appeared to pass so quickly. All I
would remember was leaving late at night feeling very refreshed. I was
convinced something scientific had taken place rather than natural because
these feelings seemed to have been artificially imposed, injected almost.
They were however very agreeable and I only wish I could summon them at
will.
These lonely excursions had carried through to the autumn of 94. I
remembered it being a particularly pleasant summer and feeling for the first
time a true inner calm together with a suspicious loss of interest in the
Programmers. My newly formed appreciation of nature seemed to have
replaced this obsession and I found myself regularly visiting the park to be
39
among the pleasant changes of the season.
There was something else about this period of time that was also out of place
involving strange objects or visions. Whenever I was in the Richmond area,
I often recalled seeing things from the corner of my eye. Something bright
and colourful seemed to flash past me in the night sky but whenever I looked
up it was gone. There would also be the total out-of-character tendency for
me to ignore it.
There was also something that occurred to me about the phenomena of alien
technology and their supposed ability to read minds. If these were the
spaceships occasionally reported, they or the pilots must have possessed an
uncanny awareness of people witnessing them. I suspected they might have
even been playing games with me because I would definitely see an object
up there in the sky from my peripheral vision. As I looked towards that
something, it would vanish. Could these craft whether living entities or
intelligently piloted be accurate enough to read the moment when I looked at
them? Could they really manoeuvre or vanish that fast?
There were times when I considered that there were no craft up there at all,
just mind games induced by the Programmers which probably explained
why I often lost interest. This theory was soon shattered when I actually had
witnesses. During this time, I lived in my bachelor flat, and my parents
would often come over to visit. Years later they briefly commented about
how they would occasionally see a bobbing light in the distance through my
kitchen window. This always appeared when we were eating at the table
with my back conveniently turned to the window. They claimed not to have
mentioned it at the time due to their thinking that it was only a distant plane
or something. On one occasion they claimed that it was much closer and
thought it was a helicopter looking for something in the area with its full
search beam on. When they went home that evening, they discussed why
they couldnt hear a propeller going. It was dead silent.
When I speak of mind games, I imagine the Programmers took this a step
further by proving they were up in the sky and not just inducing the image.
This strikes me how horribly sophisticated their deviance can be. When my
parents visited, they knew how to take advantage of the moment without me
witnessing them. I think that even if I had a secret camera installed with
telescopic lens observing the sky that night, they would have got wind of it.
It is certainly a good thing if these beings do have an intellect aimed at
responsible behaviour because technology and ESP like that could be
unthinkable otherwise. It spooks me to think how this could be used in
40
common espionage, voyeurism even.
Although the sophistication of their technology appears to dwarf ours, I still
feel there is fallibility somewhere in the system. I have noticed that whatever
they do, it is like a detailed master-plan with very little back up for the
unexpected. Stringent calculations and dead reckoning can become quite
vulnerable when exposed to spontaneity. The Programmers, not unlike the
psychology of our own computer programmers do not like spontaneity.
Should you do anything spur of the moment or out of the ordinary without
any preconception whatsoever, they would be thrown. Looking back, had I
glimpsed this light in the sky, deliberately ignored it and then spun round to
view them head on, I would probably have caught them in their process. It
seemed that every tendency I had might have been somehow registered with
them so that every move becomes predictable. Unfortunately I had no
awareness of this flaw at the time.
They obviously make mistakes. This recent leakage of memories was
probably caused by spontaneity somewhere and this combined with my
stubborn will to remember must have thrown them considerably. I had also
sensed their despair over this. Once being plunged into this disarray another
stage of the plan would take over. This period of my life was another phase
of their master-plan, a phase that was about to end. What I was currently
going through with the night walks was just part of an ongoing drill for
something big about to happen.
One particular evening during that autumn of 1994 I would take my very last
night walk. Up until now it had been a regular excursion, at least 3 or 4
times a week. Perhaps the regularity of these visits would pave the way for
the big evening in question so that the final journey would not appear too
unusual.
That evening soon came around. I never did recall the actual date but it
was certainly an important event in the Programmers calendar. Everything
about this evening was pre-arranged so that by sunset, I would just get the
same compulsion to get up and walk to my nearest rural open space. Nothing
would appear strange about this as I had been doing it regularly. Once again,
the urge overcame the logic and even while I tried to rationalise, I was
putting on my jacket to leave.
It was one of those delightful crisp autumn evenings. I watched a deep
orange sun set behind some trees thinking how wholesome everything
looked. All around me was a pleasure to take in and that I suspect was
intended, a type of acclimatisation with the new state of mind. It wasnt hard
41
for me to break into this new state as I had been doing it often and in all
honesty it was tranquil. I must have appeared hypnotised as I walked along
that evening, making my way to the park. Not that I noticed many people; I
was quite oblivious to anyone around me.
As always I would enter the park by the main gate. As soon as I was in, I
would begin on the main path before deviating off to the left. This was
strange because it would lead visitors nowhere and was just an empty
grazing field for the deer. Still I would carry on walking, adamant about
where I was heading. I sometimes wonder if this had ever attracted attention
because it would have seemed very odd, a passer-by just walking off into
nowhere like that. I can remember wandering towards some shrubs that
eventually became bushes and as I waded through these, I would come to a
huge grassy opening that was completely out of sight. Years later when my
true revelations took place, I would return to this very spot and see what was
so unique about it. The only conclusion I could come to was its isolation.
Im not sure if I remembered any birds or animals coming to this part of the
park, least of all during nightfall. It was an excellent place to be at one with
yourself without disturbance, to perform practices like Tai-Chi or Yoga.
All I remembered doing was sitting there and breathing in the dry air around
me. In hindsight I remember feeling relieved that it always rained on the
days that I refrained from coming here. That was uncanny. The beings knew
the weather forecast so that I wouldnt be sent here those evenings to get
soaked? As if the cold rain might upset the trance perhaps? There were some
things about this phenomenon that I would never truly get to the bottom of.
This evening was different from the rest. Although I felt at peace, there was
a nagging feeling of agitation as if I knew that I wasnt quite alone. This was
not a presence of threat, just an odd feeling of being watched. I knew that as
I looked upwards, the familiar flash that I had been experiencing would
vanish as always. This small light seemed to be behind me and no matter
how many times I turned around it always remained that way. The suspicion
I had about it tonight was that it was perhaps closer than normal. I could
detect its faint glow shining at me from behind, outshining the light from the
sunset even. I remember watching my shadow waver whenever it moved and
this would go on whatever way I turned.
My feelings tonight were also odd as this presence really didnt scare me. It
was as though I had been expecting it or at least prepared to expect it. I
thought Id try to play a game with the object, which seemed to move with
my movements. What if I lay on the grass and only moved my eyes? This
42
outcome proved fascinating. I lay down and could still see it there out from
the corner of my eye. If I were to tilt my head slightly it would just move
accordingly. It reminded me of the games I used to play as a child where I
would just lay on my garden lawn and stare up into the blue sky watching
thousands of transparent molecules darting around wildly--the cells of my
eyeball. I would focus on one and watch it move in accordance with my own
eye movement. Thats what it was like watching this thing. I have come to
suspect that an advanced race of beings perhaps use a type of remote spying
device that is so sharp it can monitor you while staying outside of your line
of vision.
Now that it was getting darker, I noticed another ingenious facet of this
monitor. The device got lighter as the night become darker. I was now
seeing a more pronounced image of the device from my peripheral vision as
it began to shine. I could now see that there were more than one and they
had all been around me like hovering blind spots. I would have estimated
there were about seven, spheres no bigger than a golf ball. I could never see
this many during the day and couldnt get over how quickly they moved.
The nearest thing I could equate them to were the stars sometimes seen after
receiving a knock. I was quite literally seeing stars, golden flashes whizzing
around just outside my vision as if I had suddenly been hit. What did any of
this mean?
I stood back up and began walking. The flashes were not so apparent. I felt
uncomfortable at the bright appearance of these things and their sudden
number. Still noticing them slightly from the corner of my eye, I walked
around and observed what was around me. Night had fallen quickly with the
sky becoming that inky blue giving way to occasional patches of light blue.
It was deathly silent with hardly any wind to be heard even through the
collection of dried leaves. It didnt feel natural tonight and I still harboured
that feeling of being watched.
Now that it was dark, the balls of light were accompanied by their
reflections on the floor, which were quick and hard to follow. It seemed as if
I was being followed by fireflies which couldnt be properly seen.
Without any direction and hardly any night vision, I paced around in circles.
I could just make out the outline of trees and bushes in the distance. There
was something else in the corner of my eye that appeared much slower than
the fireflies and to my amazement didnt divert when my eyes turned to meet
it. What I saw was a dimly lit crescent shape in the distance just shimmering
there in the sky.
43
Whatever it was, it made no sound and remained stationary. Something else
was out of character with me tonight, my emotions. That was clearly a UFO
up there in the sky. Not just a disappointing weather balloon but an actual
unidentified flying object spotted for the first time. Why wasnt I jumping
with anticipation and my excitement uncontrollable over this lifelong
interest that was finally revealing itself to me that night? The Programmers
held the reins again, restraining my emotions and making the scene appear
like a dream.
One faculty that they did allow me tonight was at least some of my
awareness. I clearly knew that the craft up there was unclassified and simply
shouldnt have been there. It didnt resemble any craft flown by the British
military and had no place in our flying zones. It couldnt have been mistaken
for the helicopter my parents claimed to have seen that night or resemble
anything my naked eyes were used to seeing.
The craft was alien and my knowledge of that didnt cause a stir. I remember
the outline or shape of the craft being similar to a boomerang although
shorter and more compact. Its colours pulsated and changed, white and then
yellow, mutating into a brilliant red and finally to a rich green. This colour
sequence repeated whilst the craft remained there engulfed in a hazy mist.
Probably the most memorable thing about this sighting was that the objects
light was not particularly bright, yet it was a painful effort to look directly at
it. It should have been no more intense to the eye than a distant night view of
traffic lights but it felt like a spotlight being shone straight at me. I could
only look directly at it in brief periods, similar to the way you might try to
look at the sun on the horizon.
One thing occurred to me about this object: it was also aware of me. This
probably justified my feelings of being watched. Whether this was a living
thing or it had a pilot, it knew I was there and it could have homed right in
on my mind. In fact, that was the other aspect I felt when looking up at this
strange body, what if a particular communion was going on, the same type I
had experienced with nature recently? I noticed I was losing track of
everything else around me, the fireflies were gone and so was the oneness I
felt with the environment. So many external factors had been blocked out.
The presence of this craft caused a thick atmosphere as if the scene had
moved under water.
I kept looking away due to the unexplainable ferocity of the crafts light but
fascination insisted I keep glancing back much to the strain of my eyes. I
couldnt keep still and had to move around. Even the sound of my footsteps
44
indicated something very wrong. The expected sound of dried leaves being
crushed underfoot sounded as though it was coming from a distance just like
being under water. Something was also terribly strange about the scene
around me; sounds were suffocating and the appearance of things in the
distance was becoming faint, lightening even. The vague outline of trees and
bushes were no longer visible as everything had taken the appearance of
whiteness. I suddenly began to understand that I had plunged into a new
universe where the only two bodies existing were me and the craft. All else
was devoid.
The strange whiteness seemed to have replaced the night and all else visible
within it. All activity around me had been absorbed into an eerie silence.
Perhaps this was another unexplored state of the Oz Factor, a strange white
realm with drowned out sounds and a sensation of moving through syrup. As
I tried to move, I remembered that feeling of sluggishness where everything
resembled slow motion as if the white fabric around me had an unaccounted
denseness. Even at the time it occurred to me how similar it was to those
dreams where you would be stuck to the spot and a train would be coming
towards you and no matter how hard you tried to move, your muscles would
simply not respond or would be exceptionally slow in doing so.
Through the whiteness, the craft was still visible with its faint glow that
continued to hurt my eyes. I couldnt attribute this bizarre replacement of the
night to light from the craft; it didnt appear to be the source of the
whiteness. It continued to pulsate the same sequence of colours, yet white
was the colour engulfing everything.
I dont remember this thing ever moving, yet it appeared to be much nearer
now, which could have been just a trick owing to the absence of everything.
Its only movement was the pulsating motion and mutation of colours which
mesmerised me to the point of ignoring any other movement it might have
made. Equally fascinating was its silence and I wonder if the imagery alone
was a factor making me imagine sound or if there was something else
communicative going on. With this silence and what I already know about
the Oz Factor, a kind of communion could indeed have happened although
Im not sure how. It was very much the oneness I felt earlier about nature
rather than actual messages being transmitted. Now it was just this thing and
I and perhaps that alone was significant.
I remembered it making me feel docile and pliable for whatever was on the
agenda. This docility came over me in extreme tiredness. My eyes began to
burn and my legs turned to jelly. I became over-ridden with the sensation of
45
wanting to lie down and ignore everything for a few minutes and recalled
thinking how strange this must have looked. I was in a public place being
summoned by a huge floating cell, a scene that could have been apparent
from miles away yet not a soul was present. My only feelings were of
retreat, wanting to lie down in a nearby bush or something.
I needed to at least sit if not lie down. I was no longer aware of any shrubs or
soft patches of grass because I could see nothing but a white haze. Walking
away in any direction was difficult as there was no longer an East or West
and the sensation would be like wading against a tide. I just felt the need to
crouch to ease the fatigue in my lower back and legs. As I did I reached
down with both hands to touch the floor and to my relief felt the cool dry
grass beneath me. I couldnt actually see it, just the dense consistency of the
whiteness everywhere but I at least knew I was still in the park.
That was it. I could finally crouch down onto the grass and roll onto my side.
It was a good sensation and I felt at peace though I knew this oddity still
hovered above. Perhaps acting submissive and ignoring it might cause it
ignore me, like playing possum.
None of this would have been the rational action to take in circumstances
like these, but in the unexplored territory of the Otherness the dream logic
rule.
This thing wanted me sleepy and unquestioning and that was the way it
would be. I closed my eyes tightly and covered my head with my arms to
block out the persistent white.
Losing consciousness was incredibly easy that night and it was the last I
remembered.









46

3
__________

Activation


My nose was cold and blocked with dry lips from breathing only through my
mouth. This and the cold air against my face brought me nearer to the
surface. I could also detect a pleasant morning sun and heard birds singing.
Wherever I was or whatever had happened, I was fully clothed and in a
particularly uncomfortable position. The occurrences of last night had left
me lying crouched here on the grass, sheltering from chill, and by morning I
would be astonished as to how I actually slept this way.
My bones killed me as I moved myself to come around and everything ached
when I tried to collect each stiff limb. I stood up and stretched, hearing every
bone crack which felt oddly pleasant. My bleary eyes acclimatised to the
fresh morning sun and misty field around me and I remembered feeling
collected enough to enjoy coming around unrushed.
Remembering the previous night wasnt as easy. A huge question mark
would hang over everything as I tried to remember it, which was why I
didnt bother. I knew how things were out of place ranging from why I spent
so long watching the sun set to the way someone like myself with
irrationally stringent sleep requirements could crash out so easily, like an old
vagabond. Trying to account for things would make my head burn in the
usual way so I just shelved these confusions for later and enjoyed the
morning.
I noticed how different this field was during his time of day to the way it
was when I visited it during my strange evening trips. Rather than taking in
the natural serenity and silence that I enjoyed at sunset, it seemed to offer
more activity during the day. For the first time, I noticed deer grazing in the
distance and other wildlife. I heard birds singing, which was strangely absent
when I came here at night. If I stretched my eyes that bit further, I would see
people, joggers and other folk taking the scenic route to work.
It must have been around 8.30 and I was in no hurry to report into work. I
47
was, after all, a contractor too small and superfluous to really be missed.
Numbers in the workplace these days seemed to have long replaced the
acknowledgement of individuals.
Had I died in this park last night, I wonder how long it would have taken for
the authorities to identify my corpse? I often wonder this when taking into
account the untold vagrants that are seen wandering aimlessly and seem
unaccounted for. When they are found dead, it only becomes a tiny statistic.
Who, for instance, would have been aware of my manoeuvres over the past
couple of weeks when mysteriously visiting this park during odd hours? I
hadnt been committing an offence and would have no reason to be followed
but had something happened (UFO abduction), could it ever be accounted
for? If the abduction phenomenon exists then I suspect that our increased
sense of freedom and autonomy over the years has offered abductors the
ideal climate for their manoeuvres. Nobody knew or cared that I was here
and my obsession for privacy had insisted this. It all seemed to be
engineered perfectly. At the end of the day the finger of suspicion could
point at nobody but me.
If something strange did happen last night, there would certainly have been
no witnesses, not even a deer. The only sense I ever have of being watched
is by the beings themselves that I term the Programmers. Not only did these
beings observe my actions, they observed and altered my thoughts.
My knowledge of last night could well have been altered. The likelihood of
me spending the night here was pretty remote. I still possessed the faculty of
curiosity but didnt remember being too perturbed by the event upon
waking. I seemed more concerned with my basic needs; I just wanted a hot
coffee and the chance to properly collect myself.
I strolled across fields, intending to find the nearest pathway. I was clearly
off the beaten track. I remembered trudging through high grass and reeds
wondering why on earth I would have come out this far. All I could recollect
was the desire to be alone although this would not explain how I
instinctively knew where to go. I could not have found a more isolated spot
in the park unless given a map and I had no prior knowledge of the
whereabouts apart from the obvious tourist areas.
I could at last see hints of the civilised world that I hid from last night. The
first activity I saw were dogs being exercised in the distance, an appeasing
picture of domestic life that I seemed to welcome that morning. Further on I
would see joggers and families all going about their business, totally remote
to my evening of strangeness.
48
Through the overgrown shrubs I could at last see a path leading me to
somewhere that I might recognise. I carried on and made out through sleepy
eyes an area of familiarity. If I was right, this section of the park would lead
me to a nearby clearing where cars park and a local lodge could be found.
This was where strollers would find toilets and a pleasant refreshments
pantry. The desired coffee wouldnt be far away.
I managed to find myself a seat that pleasantly caught the morning sun and
enjoyed one cup after another. Something had seriously drained me in the
recent hours, and I required more recuperation than normal. Surprisingly the
unknown events of the previous night seemed to become a chore to try to
recall and I couldnt think why. I had been doing things very out of character
the past few weeks and last night couldnt have been stranger. My usual
sleep problems would make sleeping in a luxury hotel difficult and the idea
of roughing it seemed absurd. All I could recall was the sudden fatigue and a
series of ludicrous dreams thereafter. The dreams didnt seem as important
as my purpose for coming to the park, particularly last night. I suspected that
I wasnt alone during those hours but that was just another odd notion that I
couldnt justify.
Coming around was easy. I snuggled into my warm bomber jacket sipping
coffee as I watched the world go by. I might have been just another
wandering drunk who spent the night in the park. As always there was never
a shred of evidence the next day to support the suspicions, just vague
memories of a non-addressed oddity. No conclusion had been met and no
confusion was solved. I remembered feeling disappointed at this stage
because something prevented me from remembering. Last nights sunset was
an effort to process and trying to recall what happened afterwards was
impossible. My efforts were met with the familiar burning sensations as I
tried to cross that mental boundary.
I seemed to harbour another disappointing feeling, one that Im sure was
instigated by the Programmers, and that was doubt. What if nothing at all
had taken place last night? What if it was just another of those weird phases,
only this time you fell asleep? I knew these impressions werent justified but
as there was nothing else, they had substance.
As I left the park that morning, it was the start of a new phase in my life, a
very sober and cynical one. However, the evidence from my past that
suggested strange things going on seemed to keep this wavering door open.
In other words there were times when I just felt agnostic. Belief would be
met if there was supporting evidence but other than that, I would just put
49
my experiences down to partially remembered dreams. No longer would I
become preoccupied with fantasy. Whatever the Programmers were trying
to achieve was in some ways working out as I was quickly losing interest in
the encounters. In fact, I was embarrassed to admit having them.
As always, there were conflicts going on in my mind. The believer would
challenge the cynic. During this period, the cynic nearly always outweighed
the believer. Only supportive evidence could arm the believer, but that was
never easy to come by.
However, I later experienced something that was near to physical evidence. I
was suffering a burning sensation in my eyes ever since that night in the
park. Quite often they would stream and sting slightly during the day where
I found myself rapidly blinking for relief. I could only put this down to the
time I watched the sun go down in the park and couldnt honestly think of
anything any other cause.
I went to see a doctor regarding my eyes. He shattered any hopes I had of
recovering strange memories.
What do you expect if you gaze at the sun with a naked eye? he said,
harrumphing.
Not that I would have dreamed of mentioning UFOs, but he had done the
Programmers a huge favour by making that diagnosis. It reassured me that
nothing happened. I certainly wasnt going to mention the strange dreams
either, the ones that I was convinced related to my affected eyes. All I could
do was grudgingly agree how silly it was to look at the sun, even when
setting.
To my knowledge, this is the only physical complaint ever experienced from
encounters. Although I do recall episodes in my life when dreams would
leave odd physical traces. I remember certain dreams of walking barefoot
through rocky, volcanic terrains and only upon recall of the dreams did my
feet actually start to hurt. I would astonishingly find blisters on my soles the
following morning. This is not an unusual phenomena and not necessarily
paranormal. There has been much research into the mind over matter
theory where people suffering from psychosomatic tendencies report
physical changes influenced by thought. Thinking of aches and pains can
sometimes make them manifest and even imagining illness has been known
to cause them. This same trigger of thought proved to be trick with my sore
eyes. I went away convinced that it was the sun, but strangely my eyes only
started to hurt when I recalled a particular dream. A dream I had about a
UFO that same night in the park. The one I remember that made my eyes
50
squint with discomfort was in a very abstract way, one of a pulsating and
colourful craft.
I dreamt that the early evening sky had come alive and was watching me
from above. A particular section of the sky seemed nearer and became fluid
in appearance. When I looked at it closely I realised this patch was a
different colour from the rest and its fluidness allowed it to change colour. I
began to realise that what I was looking at was a bubble shape with a faint
luminance that shouldnt have hurt my eyes to look at yet it did. There were
a few colours being displayed up there but whenever red came into focus it
hurt and even thinking about it seems to strike my retina. I dont remember a
real sequence to the dream, but the UFO part was what my eyes fiercely
responded to.
Looking back, I wouldnt have glared at a sunset for long periods, as I am
only too aware of the dangers. But it would amaze me how a dream, even for
a psychosomatic person (which Im not) can cause physical damage. No
dream can conjure up UV light, for instance yet the doctor who inspected
both my retinas insisted it was just that.
Whatever suspicion it had left me with, I couldnt account for it, so I settled
for the easier option of the cynic. I felt foolish and disappointed and just
wanted to get on with my life. My intrigue with UFOs and the paranormal
wasnt as easy to extinguish. I still wanted to read up on these subjects but
found it so much easier to treat as something that happens to others. On a
personal level, I remained indifferent.
The case was closed. These Programmer beings had successfully managed to
install a mechanism that would first lead me to disappointment and then
cynicism. The programme appeared to do exactly as it was intended.
Whenever my mind approached that boundary of suspicion, I would first
feel this self-deceit followed by an overwhelming doubt as to why anyone
would believe these things happened to them. This was a radical change
from the person I was before the nightly excursions to the park.
Even today I feel perturbed by their capabilities of mind control. It makes
human attempts at this seem rather crude by comparison. I refer to our stage
hypnotists who can make subjects act out any part they wish just by the
power of suggestion yet they insist that the subjects core self cannot be
altered. They cannot make the person go out and murder if it isnt within
their fundamental persona. I honestly feel that alien beings can go steps
ahead of this and re-write someones core self if they wished. Judging by my
own shift in beliefs since that night in the park, I suspect I was going
51
through that.
Things that I would naturally avoid I suddenly became open to regardless of
any prejudices that had steered me away in the past. The main change in me
was study, a discipline I had avoided like the plague after academic failure at
school.
Science was one of the natural interests I always had but that normally
stretched no further than the theories behind my favourite sci-fi. But that was
changing. I now found myself visiting libraries and losing myself for hours
in those huge stuffy textbooks that I avoided at school. All of a sudden I
found myself meticulously combing the shelves for Einstein or anything to
do with quantum physics, atomic science or the metaphysical. Its true that I
always had an interest in these things but now I was looking at the hows and
whys behind them and also managing the concentration threshold that I
never thought possible. It was great to be able to digest things this way
without drifting off on a useless tangent.
The way I grasped and retained the information I read brought me to another
conclusion--that perhaps my intelligence was extending. Perhaps it would no
longer be restricted the way I felt it had been before. The best move I
considered was to seize the momentous breakthrough by embarking on full
time education and accelerate from wherever it was I floundered before.
My current job appeared to be needing me less and less and it would only be
a matter of time before redundancy reared its ugly head. Being a contractor,
this meant no pay so I wasnt going to wait around for the wounding. I
handed in my months notice and used this time to browse course literature
while applying for a student grant. I had no particular career aims in mind
other than knowing I wasnt going to fulfil my childhood dream of
becoming a stage magician. All I wanted to do for now was engulf myself
with the subject that always fascinated me, science.
I immediately enrolled at a local college for a science degree, pretending that
I already had the formal entry qualifications. When I began the course I was
rather dubious about that reckless decision thinking it would leave me
mercilessly slacking behind. At first there were signs of this but my new
thirst for knowledge soon helped me catch up on my peers without any
painful effort. After all, what I lacked were the foundations, the facts and
figures that enabled my fellow students to sail through but these were soon
acquired by the way I had applied myself. Something had definitely
happened in the way I developed this new ability to concentrate and grasp
things. Normally the sheer capabilities of the students around me would
52
have discouraged me no end, yet I went into this course like a hungry man
wanting information about the world around me. It seemed that any doubts
or disadvantages were just secondary to this odd enthusiasm.
Both mentally and socially, unexplained steps had been taken. For the first
time I was taking a broader interest in the world rather than just my
obsessive interests. I had made friends amongst peers and gathered a small
circle of people with mutual interests. We shared a particular interest in
conventional science and where it borders with the unknown. During breaks
I would regularly engage with students about these subjects and how they
touch upon areas that little is known about. How far can you break down
atoms? Could they ever be magnified to the infinitely small where they
perhaps exist as microscopic planets, populated by micro-entities?
Naturally these interests would spread into areas such as the existence of
God, the afterlife and higher species of life in the cosmos. During tea breaks,
these subjects would be discussed fervently and I certainly surprised myself
just how much I had to contribute. So many students seemed to have at least
a passing interest in these matters and would occasionally join in the
discussions but there would always be this hardcore of the liaisons
consisting of just three--myself and another couple who I will call Paul and
Wendy. It turned out that Paul and Wendy, a married couple from the
Southwest coast were both members of a UFO organisation who attended
conferences across the country. I expressed my own interest in these things
without giving away any suspicion I had about possibly being involved
(taking into account that suspicion was rapidly fading.)
Paul and Wendy shared the same agnostic approach to the subject that I had
recently developed, applying healthy scepticism where it was needed. None
of us confessed to ever having unusual experiences ourselves but maintained
that unwavering fascination in all things esoteric. Something was already
forming in this relationship that would prove to be the seeds of a new
organisation with new objectives to the world of the paranormal. What we
all had in our approaches, particularly with UFOlogy was a hard-nosed
straight to the jugular belief that wouldnt waste time with sightings or
disputable factors but focus more on the closer encounters and first hand
accounts. In other words we spent very little time discussing the arguable
hard evidence that initially come with these phenomena and homed in right
on stories of alleged meetings with extraterrestrials and where ghosts really
come from. For instance, it wasnt enough that we might meet someone who
claims to have seen a ghost, we wanted to know what the ghost had to say!
Was it a conscious communicative entity or a manifestation of a possible
53
time warp?
We became a trio, mutually aware that something was going to grow from
our relationship. So many nights after college we would continue our
discussions in local pubs and in each others houses. I became a member of
their nationwide UFO organisation and attended many conferences across
the country. People were starting to think of us as related at college as we
had become a type of clique threesome always engaged in something. That
oddity went no further than pure mutual interests. Fate perhaps brought us
together and the threesome would inevitably form a legitimate study group.
What we were becoming concerned with was the lack of depth investigating
UFOs and why nothing seemed to be followed up. So many stories would
be written about sightings and sometimes encounters but what ever
happened to the people afterwards? Did they all simply re-emerge into the
lives of Mr & Mrs Average? It seemed that the areas we studied were what
people really wanted insight to. Everyone read about sightings, made
opinions about photographs seen and stories of leaked government
documents but what people ultimately wanted to know was who is actually
piloting these things and why are they here? This appeared to be the gap
that we as a small group wanted to fill.
It was mid 1995 and this was a very stimulating period for paranormal
subjects. The controversial footage of the Roswell alien autopsy was shown
to the public for the first time and that opened a large can of worms. There
were also a whole range of UFO and paranormal magazines around at the
time, I would estimate about 8 different titles appearing in newsagents. Only
one of those magazines is still in circulation.
Naturally this was a good time to take advantage of this public interest and
advertise our own proposed study group in one of those magazines. We as a
threesome knew what our objectives would be from the extensive
conversations we had and what we needed was a name to spearhead those
objectives. This was a tricky point to agree on as the name had to conjure up
what we were all about and what would set us aside from the other research
groups listed. In a nutshell, we wanted to be the study that dealt with closer
encounters so Paul decided this should inevitably be the name. I was
uncomfortable with Closer Encounters, likening it to a name given to contact
services for explicit affairs rather than a serious study group. My idea for a
fitting name would be CE5 as we would be specialising in the next
progressive step from the phenomena of CE4--the level of contact involving
abduction. CE5 (close encounter of the 5th kind) would explain our research
54
accurately, the phase of contact addressing communication and the final
phase of interaction.
We agreed that it wasnt necessarily the most original title and suspected
that someone somewhere might just be using it. After scanning the latest
copies of all the current publications on the subject, it appeared that nobody
had claimed CE5 so fortunately it was ours.
Wendy had set up a mailing address with the local Post Office for anyone
interested as we werent confident enough at this stage to deal with personal
enquiries. I had managed to word and print up some useful group literature
using a local librarys PC and Paul combed the area for possible meeting
places in the future. Luckily he was blessed verbally and was appointed
group leader to introduce and co-ordinate these future gatherings and
explain our study to people.
My job would be to deal with the groups literature such as postal enquiries
and future club newsletters which at first I didnt think would generate much
interest. To my surprise, when the advert had finally gone out to one of the
magazines, we received a bigger response rate than imagined. People were
certainly curious about these subjects at the time and whatever was
spreading through the public interest opened up a whole new door for us.
At first we were nervous by the rate of response, particularly as a new group
taking on paranormal research. On reflection I would say that 60% of the
enquirers were just curious and once I mailed their information, they would
no doubt shelve it for another day. That was fine; the least it would do was
perhaps generate news of our group. The 40% that did pursue it replied
almost immediately and seemed adamant to meet up and start chasing flying
saucers. It would then be up to us, the threesome to arrange a meeting for
hungry enquirers and make our aims clear to them right away. I think that
most of them were unaware that we were a brand new organisation with a
membership of just three. There seemed to be all kinds of expectations
during the time and in hindsight I can understand why.
People in general want things tailor made and normally when approaching
an organisation like us, they hope it will be an established group. Deep down
they were hoping, as I would have if approaching a study group, to find a
resourceful niche that will confirm that the unexplained is real. We needed
them for contribution as much as they needed us for addressing their needs
and interests. At the end of the day we could not produce a spaceship or
provide true grounding for their beliefs.
Personally, I wanted to emphasise some scepticism to the study because that
55
was largely how I had been feeling then. It wasnt because I wanted to
shatter any hopes or impose opinions, its just that I had tasted so much
disappointment that I didnt want to lead anyone else up this path. The
objective of the group was, after all, closer encounters, to concentrate on the
nucleus of the phenomena while cutting away sightings, commentaries and
so on. We would look at two possibilities--these things either existed or they
didnt. CE5 were open to both suggestions but aimed to work on the former.
Our 40% was still a considerably large response and Paul had arranged a
first seminar/meeting in a local community hall. It wasnt the favoured
choice as we had originally hoped for a hotel conference room but due to our
tiny budget, we would make the most with this old council run school hall.
The first meeting was a definite success due to so much nervous preparation
by the three of us. Paul, Wendy and I took turns in speaking to welcome the
guests, each equipped with an itinerary of what to expect. The initial unease
of the first meeting was made easier by the total attentiveness of our guests
who surprisingly took in with interest everything we presented without so
much as a heckle. Questions were allowed at the end of the session and there
were a lot of them. The guests appeared to be a pleasantly mixed bunch with
a mixture of input. As expected, the majority wanted to know of
forthcoming field events and what they might hope to see on them. This was
open to suggestion and would be welcomed with any feedback or ideas even
if that meant spending a night in a haunted castle. We were set up as a
research group that wanted to get closer. I was willing to go the distance
with that side of the research and would personally find it an enlightening
challenge.
Quite a few people wanted to know of useful reading on the subjects such as
book reviews and there were others who sought the hobbyist aspects,
looking to collect information, group literature and so forth. A cross-section
of enquirers with a mixture of input but overall it was a success. The ages
ranged also from the teens to twenties (many who wanted sky watching trips
that turned into outdoor parties) to the middle-aged with a marked and
surprising interest in the paranormal.
Over the coming months there would be subsequent meetings but as
expected, less attendance than the first due to the many samplers. It was
interesting to see the same faces as these would turn out to be the new core
of our future membership. Both Paul and Wendy felt confident enough to
supply their phone number to new and prospective members. A small but
reputable research group was now forming and things looked promising for
56
CE5.
Despite all the developments in my life, I still felt the need to reserve special
times for myself. Maybe I could appreciate these moments more now that I
had all the necessary human distractions during the day. Apart from the
study which was becoming surprisingly rewarding, I still seemed to need
that special time with my thoughts, something I would cherish. Aside from
the recent belief shift that had transformed me into someone more
sceptical, there was another side of me that refused to be explored. This
seemed to be the special compartment of my mind that the Programmers had
for themselves, one which they had allocated for their mechanisms.
Tampering with that compartment was a taboo and even sparing curiosity
over it was difficult.
Something was to take place in following weeks that made me realise this
strangeness wasnt just within. When I think back to this incident I realise
that the manipulative power possessed by these beings doesnt just limit
itself to the mind. If they want something to happen, they can make it so,
anywhere in the world. This happened in the form of a phone call one night
by someone who simply identified himself as Gideon.
Gideon was enquiring about CE5, saying he had seen our ad listed in the
magazine. When I asked how he got my number he just said he saw it listed,
which I knew was impossible. The only form of contact the advert displayed
was a box number and from there on, the only telephone number given out
to enquirers would have been Paul and Wendys. I later checked this with
them and they swore they hadnt given my number to anyone. The magazine
with CE5s listing didnt even have my number.
He sounded soft-spoken and pleasant enough, and just wanting to know
where our next meeting would be. I gave him the details of this without any
suspicion, thinking that the business about my number was just a small
mishap somewhere. After all, how else could he have obtained it? When I
asked if he would like some group literature, such as a newsletter, he
declined, saying he would happily collect that at our next gathering. He
closed the conversation by asking me if I would like to speak with him when
the meeting was over, which I couldnt see any harm in. I thought no more
about this until the next meeting was due.
In this time, I assured myself that either Paul or Wendy must have given out
my number out in error and then embarrassingly denied it. It didnt really
matter, but I hadnt lived at my rented accommodation long, wasnt in the
phone book and my social influence certainly didnt stretch far. Locating me
57
by any means couldnt have been easy so it left a question mark. Had I not
have liked the sound of whoever he was on the phone, I would probably
have told him the group was defunct.
During the next meeting, it was my turn to get up and speak regarding a
book review. As I spoke and addressed the audience of about 20, I noticed a
face in the crowd that struck me as familiar. A fellow in his early sixties sat
on the end of the second row from the back nearest to the radiator whom I
seemed to know from somewhere. While youre speaking, its best not to try
to recollect someone in the crowd as it immediately distracts, but this
curiosity screamed at me. I carried on my talk, focusing my eyes on nothing
but what I was doing. The talk would not be a long one and I would soon be
able to go over and meet this person.
Wendy had taken over and presented a slide show, which unfortunately
meant the lights were to be dimmed and prevented me from properly seeing
this man. I managed to glance over and see as much as I needed to. He was
smartly dressed and not unlike anyone else of his age group with grey wispy
hair brushed back from a receding line and an interesting moon-shaped face.
If he had known me the way I suspected I knew him, he didnt seem to show
it as he just sat happily watching what was being presented.
Perhaps the strangest thing was this gut feeling I had that he was the man on
the phone. As soon as the presentation ended I went over to introduce myself
and, lo and behold, he was the mysterious enquirer calling himself
Gideon. After the formalities, I asked about his name, inquiring whether
he was Jewish. He claimed he wasnt but came from a religious family with
a tradition of Biblical names. Given the knowledge I now have of this mans
covert involvement with my life, I doubt that Gideon was his real name at
all. It rang no bells whatsoever as he gave it over the phone apart from my
awareness of the Gideons Bible. It does strike me as interesting however
that this name features in the Bible as someone who received a message
from a Heavenly angel carrying a fire-emitting staff similar to a magic wand
that performed awesome feats. Considering my own obsession with wand-
waving magicians and extraterrestrials who do similar things, he seemed to
have chosen a catchy name, one which I would investigate years later. As we
spoke more about ourselves, it turned out that he had a lifelong interest in
the occult and was obviously well read on the subject. I found it strange how
blas he was about these things, as though they were common facts of life.
I had to ask him if I knew him from somewhere and the response was
negative. Again there was this impartial brushing aside as though it either
58
wasnt important or he was trying to hide something. This was obviously his
first meeting with CE5 and I was sure I hadnt seen him from anywhere I
had worked. As we spoke, I could feel a useful friendship forming that
would take precedence over any suspicion.
I didnt hesitate in introducing him to the other two founders, but he
appeared to have more of a leaning towards me. This would be the start of a
strange liaison that at times appeared to be one sided because there was so
much he wouldnt disclose, but I didnt feel like probing. Although he
certainly demonstrated an interest in my affairs, which I found strange
considering our age difference. It wasnt so much my thoughts and feelings
that interested him, it was more a case of why. Why do you have a certain
opinion and what brought you to that conclusion? appeared to be his angle.
Finally when I asked if he would like to get on our regular mailing list, he
declined, insisting that he could pick this information up at meetings. Again
there was that avoidance over his address, and I only gleaned that he lived
local after hed given a rough idea of where he would be travelling from. We
just left it agreeing to see each other at the next CE5 event and his position
remained one of Ill call you. As we departed in the car park, watching the
old man cross the road and disappear into the night, the three of us remained
quizzical as to where he was ever coming from. We drove home that night in
Pauls car each discussing our surmises as to whether his strangeness
pointed to age, paranoia or just the eccentricity that sometimes comes with
the esoteric territory.
In the back of our minds we suspected that we had seen the last of the
elusive Gideon as many eccentrics have been known to lose interest before
moving onto a new subject. On the contrary, he had become our most
consistent guest and would arrive at every venue 20 minutes beforehand.
The strange thing was that his interest in the group still seemed to have
focused upon me. That wasnt to say he was interested in me personally, it
was more to do with what I had to say on the subject that kept him
enthralled. I continued to find this unusual with our generation gap and
particularly when there were a range of books already the subject written by
experts older and wiser, most of which he claimed to have read.
The absurdity of this relationship was that he and his angle were as equally
fascinating to me. It had reached the point of suspicion where I thought he
might have been a type of envoy from a government organisation sent to
investigate UFO study groups, but then what was so suspicious about our
newly formed little club and why focus on me? This suspicion alone was
59
drawing me towards him in a big way but then there were other attributes to
this man that drew attention. Apart from his mysteriousness, he appeared
unusually intelligent and interesting to listen to. If this was a form of
espionage to form a close relationship, it was working.
Listening to him was never a chore. His articulation of stories became
mesmerising and it was hard not to feel magnetised to what he had to say.
There was something unusual about his appearance. Although his face was
fitting enough for someone of his age, his eyes were something quite
different, alien almost. They were large, sombre and seemingly fitting for an
oval face but they emitted something vibrant from the pale blue irises like a
hypnotic grip. Looking into them seemed to cast a spell yet you remained
deeply inquisitive. Whatever that spell was, it was hard to describe. I had
always put it down to the enthralling conversation that jelled our relationship
but it seemed right from the beginning that peculiar undercurrents were
present. Our shared interests sustained the conversations and whatever I
brought up he would have a profound knowledge of. Even my obscure
interests, the ones I could never account for seemed to be verified through
his odd knowledge of things and that interested me no end.
One evening after a CE5 gathering we stayed behind to continue our
conversations which I had now come to look forward to. I felt that I knew
him well enough to share my disjointed tales of monk magicians who I
believed belonged to Masonic covens. Instead of balking at my theories or
seeming puzzled, he assured me that what I was referring to was a secretive
coven of nature spirits known as Elementals. These were, he said, a common
phenomenon of harmless but highly evolved woodland entities who existed
as an earth-bound continuation of ancient Wicca people. As my own
unexplained knowledge already confirmed, they appeared as hooded beings
in brown robes that possessed fantastical feats of power like walking through
walls. Gideon went on to tell me how these beings sometimes appeared with
red eyes. I wasnt familiar with that particular aspect but it did strike me as
odd how he managed to address so many of my concerns with such
accuracy. How did he know these things and what were his own
experiences?
Inevitably we went on to talk about another interest of mine, which I was
convinced had something to do with my own covert past--freemasons and
secret societies. We would talk for hours about ancient Masonic covens,
conspiracy theory surrounding the Old Testament, and legends of the ancient
scrolls. This led on to the topic of covert masons existing today. As we
delved further into the subject he eventually declared that he was a member
60
of such a society. This announcement caused an expected reaction with me
and when I look back to the conversation, I realise it was an obvious ploy to
lure me. At the time his intentions could not have seemed further away. I
instantly became the wide-eyed enthusiast wanting to come along to one of
his meetings while he remained the dismissive older patron who advised me
otherwise. Forces were at work here as they were from day one when I met
this old gentleman. All along he seemed to emit this non-intrusive
manipulation of the mind which Im convinced was more than this
intelligence he seemed to possess or just power of suggestion. It was a kind
of subtle telepathy, a type that I had come across before that wasnt easy to
detect. A telepathy that focused more on emotions and interests than direct
communicative thought. He appeared to have the talent to subliminally
encourage something while acting out something quite opposite. This
seemingly ancient talent stretched further than any common gift of gab.
Forces were undoubtedly at work because I was almost begging him to
invite me along to one of his Masonic meetings. I remembered being
astonished by my enthusiasm and surprised by what was coming out of my
own mouth. His responses would be why are you so keen? Do you
understand what my sect is really about? Oddly enough I already did
without actually asking.
I seemed to know that his society was also a continued generation of an
ancient order dating back to I dont know when. Its regular gatherings were
based upon ancient ceremonies similar to Wicca. Perhaps an earlier
conversation had influenced this sudden burst of knowledge but it wouldnt
explain my intuitive certainty. To this day I dont have a name for his
mysterious coven, yet I was hell-bent on attending.
I remember his final words that evening being something to the effect of
well, well have to see. I got the impression that being accepted into his
fold wasnt out of the question but something needing preparation. We
parted that night agreeing upon some eventual initiation that would take
place when I was ready.
That night had been one of the strangest nights I can remember and appeared
to be a radical turning point in my life. I dont know how long I had been
speaking with Gideon but it must have been one of my longest and deepest
conversations. I wouldnt rule out the possibility of missing time because
huge chunks of what was said that night eluded me. Missing time seemed to
play its part from that night onwards because I dont recall much about the
odd period that would follow.
61
The strange liaison had heralded an even stranger period ahead. I recall the
next few months as being a type of automated daze where I just went
through the motions of life like a robot. I seemed to suffer patches of
amnesia where I wouldnt to remember certain events. It wasnt so much the
events themselves that I struggled to remember, it was the whys and
hows behind them. I seemed to be doing things ritually without question.
The regular evening visits to secluded places such as the park had continued
and I often remember looking forward to these times. As the sun would set I
felt a buzz of excitement coming on as though I would be off on a
mysterious journey somewhere to meet special people. Consciously, I can
only remember these journeys being solitary.
Life didnt appear to taking its usual toll during these months. I seemed to be
enjoying a peaceful acceptance of life where I just took things as they came
without question or criticism. I again need to refer to my comparisons to the
dream state or Oz Factor because the inconsistencies of a dream were all
there. I accepted the outrageous and dont remember much about it.
Whatever state had been induced, I dont recall it interfering with my daily
activities. If anything, it allowed me to sail through them with less stress
than I would normally encounter.
My studies were not a problem and never neglected regardless of any
oddities going on. Ever since I decided to take on full time study with this
science degree, I enjoyed a whole new capacity of accelerated learning. The
daily attendance of college and hours of study were a pleasure rather than a
chore and I was keeping abreast of my course work despite my lack of
academic foundation. The transformation from the boy who didnt even
manage a CSE was in contrast a phenomenon!
Even outside study I would read exuberantly from subjects ranging from
science to religion and sometimes try to rewrite extracts from the Bible in
the way I interpreted them. My fascination with the paranormal was as
unrelenting as ever and I seemed to be outgrowing that sceptical patch I had
been going through (the induced scepticism, I strongly suspect.)
My activities with CE5 had continued, although I felt there was deterioration
in the group due to a lull in the interest from members. The meetings would
continue and topics would still be covered but nothing seemed to go any
further and that discouraged people. As agreed from the beginning, we could
not produce the proverbial spaceship out of the blue which of course meant
that CE5 would not live up to its name by accomplishing these things. We
would become another study/research group listed in the classifieds of a
62
paranormal magazine and not necessarily make the groundbreaking
discoveries that each of us hoped.
My co-founders Paul and Wendy would be expecting their first child very
soon and would have greater priorities than the group meetings. Eventually I
would see less and less of their company. There were a few others that I had
hoped would become the groups new core but their interests wavered once
Paul and Wendys had. I was almost co-ordinating the groups occasional
meetings single-handed which wasnt really a problem with this newfound
energy buzz I was enjoying.
My relationship with the shady Gideon had not lost its conversational high
and we would still get together to discuss things. After the meetings, Paul
and the pregnant Wendy would hurry off home to their necessary
commitments while I would look forward to the mesmerising engagement
with an old man whom I still knew nothing about. My enthusiasm was
certainly not rational but then neither was this period of time. The
relationship was purely conversational and it seemed I had been
programmed to feed off of this liaison like an addictive energy. Even that
evasiveness about who he was, was no longer a problem.
Regularly our topics continued, sometimes for hours: religion, science,
magic, secret societies and the secrets of the universe were still covered
feverishly. I was learning more about his particular sect and what they did,
each meeting must have lured me that bit closer. It was a Masonic group that
practiced what sounded to me like woodland solaces or White Magic. Still
no name was given, only vagueness, but still I begged to be invited along.
In hindsight, it is always easy to know the questions you should have asked;
but I was hypnotised, programmed just like the sleeper who dreams of
walking into work naked and doesnt think to question it. Whether Gideon
was an actual alien or one of those nature spirits he spoke of masquerading
as an old man was impossible to tell, but how would I have had the
awareness to ask? It was made to look like I was the one who instigated
coming along to his coven. The odd period of time I was experiencing would
only be looked upon as a normal albeit vague patch.
Being a loner, it was difficult to confirm with anybody how strange those
few months really were. Years later, I did briefly catch up with someone
who I went to college with around that time who proclaimed to have avoided
me then. They insisted that I was always in a daze and suspected I was on
something like LSD. Any communication from me was always babble,
apparently. Embarrassing but interesting feedback.
63
I vaguely remember having something of great importance arranged with
Gideon around that time that was to take place very soon. It was obviously
my demanded invitation to his Masonic group but there was something more
to the event than just invitation. It was to be an initiation, my initiation. The
actual date that this ceremony was to take place I cannot recall but I
certainly knew at the time, in fact I had the complete itinerary worked out to
a T. I briefly remember meeting with Gideon one last time before this event
and remember him being particularly fatherly to me checking that I was
entirely happy with what I was about to do. I couldnt have been more
certain about anything and felt a glazy-eyed determination to embark.
A certain code and itinerary had been worked out for me, which I would
follow like clockwork. All I really remember after my last meeting with
Gideon was that buzz, really looking forward to my invitation into his coven
which I knew by no conscious instruction meant initiation. No plan that was
devised for me was too difficult to take on nor would I question it. I had
tunnel vision and doubt that anyone could have stopped me. What was more,
I didnt need to be given a date or appointment as I would simply know
when the time came. When the inner hypnotist snapped his fingers or gave a
recognisable code word, I would take off machine-like.
It came as no notable surprise when the day actually came. It was one
evening in January 96, a night appointment, something I might have known
given that these episodes always seem to take place after dark. It came
without apprehension or any of the concerned awareness that caused
resistance. I knew what it was, where to go and what to do, and the only
prominent emotion I remember having was excitement. It arrived with the
familiar burning sensation in my head, only this time it wasnt there because
of a mental boundary. This was different; it felt like more of a signal to spur
me on. Maybe it was a warning signal, a type of defence mechanism put
there by the Programmers to remind me that I mustnt have second thoughts.
That consideration however could not have been further from the truth.
Before I set off, there was something I had to take with me. The burning
sensation was not going to let me leave the house without it. I immediately
went to the small door of my boiler cupboard, a place where I often hid
valuables in the event of a burglary. I reached down inside to feel my way
along a dusty shelf and came across what I expected to find there, a small
plastic carrier bag scrunched up into a dusty ridge in the wall. Slowly I
pulled the bag out letting its weight drop to reveal the contents which
seemed to be lead weights. I honestly had no idea what was inside, I was
only aware of its importance. I do remember examining the contents which I
64
suppose must have been a pre-programmed routine check rather than
curiosity. I dont recall any great surprise when I came across five
mysterious metallic objects inside the bag that resembled batteries. Each was
cylindrical with copper coloured coating and roughly the same size as
batteries normally used for radios or walkmans. I dont remember where
these things came from or ever putting them in my boiler cupboard but their
whereabouts were etched firmly in my mind. I placed the objects back into
the carrier bag and rolled it neatly into my jacket pocket. What I remember
about those objects was that they were not particularly interesting to look at
or feel but they held a tremendous significance for the meeting I was about
to attend.
I left my flat that evening with this sudden gift of tunnel vision free of any
usual concerns such as switching off the gas/closing the street door etc.
Nothing mattered other than what I was about to do. It was a frosty night
with hardly anybody around which I suppose was a blessing considering this
hypnotic state I would have been seen in. I just remember walking much
further than I normally would particularly as public transport was available.
Instead I seemed to be heading to an area devoid of traffic, more towards the
remote areas I had visited so many nights beforehand. This time it wasnt the
actual park I ventured to but a small road leading off from it, a non-
residential road that I instinctively knew was where I had to be. When I
arrived, I saw a car parked further down the road that the same instinct
hinted was there to collect me. I could never really explain this intuition, but
at that time, a brief memory flashed past me about how I used to nickname
this feeling the spider sense, an intuition used by the cartoon Spider Man.
Its funny how I had forgotten that. Perhaps the memories of being in this
state only resurface when actually returning to that state much like that of a
continuing dream.
I approached the parked car, which I couldnt identify because of the
darkness, but there were people waiting inside, the driver, an up front
passenger and I think two men in the back. I estimated about 4 and surmised
they were all male but I cannot be certain. They saw me approach
welcoming me in with the back door swinging open. I slid in next to one of
the back seat passengers and recall genuine hospitality as I arrived. I do not
recall knowing any of these people. Gideon was not amongst them. These
people certainly acted like old friends. I remember reciprocating their
friendly conversation, but for the life of me, I cannot remember what was
said.
I do remember the car pulling away from the kerb and not making any
65
sound, not even an engine igniting. Another thing that struck me about the
car was its interior. It might have seemed a passably modern vehicle from
the outside but the inside was far removed from the sleek and compact
comforts of modern cars. Inside was very basic but roomy with the seats
made of old-fashioned leather. As we drove I noticed a dark outline of the
old style steering wheel and upholstery possibly wooden with a shiny
circular speedometer. It reminded me of an old family Vauxhall from when I
was a child with its hard spacious interior and chrome finishes. The
absurdity of these scenarios no longer astonishes me when I look back at
them because that absurdity seems to be an essential theme. Had I been in a
fully conscious state of mind I too would wonder why these things were the
way they were. I have found that this theme of absurdity isnt just there as a
deliberate smokescreen to confuse but as an actual mishap of compatibility,
something I will explain in a later chapter.
It was also hard to detect where we were driving but I would say the car was
heading Westerly, more out of the suburbs and into the sticks. I could not
make out any familiar roads or buildings but just see occasional streetlights
shining in. Another strange aspect was the total absence of other traffic
oncoming or otherwise. The roads were quieter tonight than I had ever seen
before and this was eerie. If this route existed anywhere in the physical
world then it certainly wasnt local. I certainly dont remember or claim to
have been this way since.
Despite the unfamiliarity there wasnt an inkling of apprehension in me and
the whole journeys conversation had probably been the most familiar I
could enjoy with total strangers. Yet still I fail to remember a single spoken
word. The estimated 20 minute journey was winding down into a very rural
area where the street lighting became less and I could just about make
outlines of nearby trees and bushes. We pulled up into a driveway and
remember being told we had arrived despite the fact that no sound of
slowing wheels or engines could be heard. I remember seeing a particularly
dull building in front that I surmised to be our destination.
At a glance the building could have been old brewery or somewhere disused
with its old brickwork and lightless windows. The roof was flat and the inky
sky above I could just about decipher.
The inside however could not have been further from its mundane exterior.
After being led down a short flight of stairs I came to the most elaborate
marble floored corridor I had ever seen with huge halls on either side. The
buildings appearance from outside didnt seem big enough to house this
66
spectacular vastness unless of course we were underground or the house
went back a lot further. Even in this unquestioning state I was in awe at the
sheer palace of a home around me. People were everywhere talking in
groups, like it was a huge palace ball. I would have expected to have seen
aristocratic costumes and wigs worn in this scenario but that wasnt the case.
The people were dressed exactly as I had been expecting them to on my way
over, in Masonic gowns.
Ceremonies seemed to be going on in the halls and I gathered they were
being staged for a number of people besides me. I felt that a large process
was going on involving batches of people, possibly a routine much like a
cattle market. My part seemed to be no more than another subject attending
and nobody had even paid much attention to my arrival. Mysterious activity
surrounded me.
It wasnt long before I was ushered into one of those halls by someone who
offered me a gown to wear exactly like what everyone else wore. I vaguely
remember asking my usher if I could wear my jacket under the gown as it
contained something very important for the ceremony. She somehow
seemed to know what that something was and assured it would be all right. I
stood waiting in a queue amongst others as it seemed more like a cattle
market now than at first and those queuing were no more aware than cows.
Nobody seemed to know why they were there and the interesting thing was
the identical look upon their faces. Each of them had an appearance of being
in a hypnotic trance mixed with a look of blissful distance. Perhaps I looked
that way. Judging by the unsuited confidence I felt and the dreamy look of
others, I would say that a great deal of trouble went into keeping us this
docile and doubt it was drugs.
What I remember as I stood there was the magnificence of the hall. It wasnt
unlike a stately home. The floor was marble like the corridor only this
seemed more mosaic similar to the floors found in Roman houses. The
ceiling was unnervingly high and decorated with a gorgeous design that I
cant quite remember. I recall the walls having flowing red curtains at
intervals and even oil paintings that perhaps a connoisseur of art might
recognise, but I didnt. Nothing about the event really added up and there I
was robbed of the capacity to even question it.
This aspect in itself was fascinating and characteristic. When I think back to
how I felt on the occasion, I realise it was pure Oz. The whole scenario had
all the Oz Factors dreamy inconsistencies where if a pink dinosaur had
emerged from one of those walls, I wouldnt have criticised it. My head was
67
engulfed with a hazy not here feeling, only this was all real. I recall the
rough texture of the gown rubbing against the back of my neck, clearly
hearing voices speak of all tones and accents and a bizarre smell of incense
burning from somewhere. Then of course there was that familiar
phenomenon I experienced in all the scenarios, the light. There it was, but
where did it come from? No spotlights, bulbs or candles were visible from
anywhere yet the light around me was apparent. I have never been
hypnotised but suspect this feeling was related to the twilights of a trance.
When I try, I can vividly picture some of the faces I remember seeing that
night in the crowd. One of them I will never forget--the one that almost
startled me out of my trance. I must have been briefly scanning the list of
faces of those in front at queue I was standing. When I came to a familiar
one, it almost screamed out at me, not because I knew them personally but
because it was a celebrity. From about twenty places in front as the queue
wound around to a facing wall it took me a while to register who the person
actually was. There as clear as daylight, I saw a reasonably well known
British actress standing, waiting her turn like the others and just as dazed. I
later wondered what on earth she was doing there and what her connection
was but now I doubt there was one. Judging by her entranced look I doubt
she actually knew she was there to this day. She seemed so distant of her
involvement, the same way I was for most of my life. Perhaps I was the only
one who actually recognised her, since no one else gave her second glance
while queuing. Why would a famous person attend a gathering like this in
such a state particularly when there was enough risk from the press getting
wind of it, let alone the general public?
I now realise that this is an on-going programme where large quantities of
people are selected (for whatever criteria) and taken outside their awareness
to places of a deliberate faade. This time I imagine it was a stately home or
at least somewhere of human reference that the experiencer might only look
back upon as a strange dream. As clever as these facades may be, their
designers sometimes leave inconsistencies such as the source-less light.
Only when one tries to recall these scenarios in detail do they spot leaks that
appear quite alien. If the controllers of this scenario are as alien as I think
they are then perhaps they werent even aware that this woman was
somebody famous. She was perhaps acknowledged as just another of their
herd of unquestioning cattle. I have since seen this actress many times on
TV and in magazines and fortunately she may not have an inkling of where
she really was that night or of her possible involvement in this covert
programme. I intend to keep it that way and will not disclose her name. All I
68
will say is that she is an actress, probably not recognisable outside of the
United Kingdom. As a person who values privacy, I can only empathise with
the vulnerability this would cause.
The evening was peculiar and its time and sequence were always difficult to
account for. I remember only outstanding facets, one of them being when
my queuing in the line of cloaked people was finally over. I was briskly
ushered over to a sectioned off square in the floor where I finally came into
contact with my old friend and mentor Gideon. Although I expected him to
be there and had seen him recently, it felt emotional. It felt as though I
would see him for the very last time and had to bid him farewell. He was
dressed like I and everyone else in the hall was and this seemed to
emphasise the occasion and its significance. I only recognised him when I
looked closer into his hood and it occurred to me what a vital member he
must have been of what appeared to be staff.
I remember feeling sad as we hugged like it would be the last time we met. It
still baffles me how this elusive stranger had rapidly became an integral part
of my life in a such a considerably short time and here I was, heartbroken to
see him go. It wasnt as if this scene was even the centre of attention because
a buzz of activity went on everywhere, a process involving others queuing
the same way as I had and being seen or registered much like the process of
an immigration office. I could not detect similar emotion in their quarters
that existed in mine.
Much conversation took place between me and the old man but I only
remember hearing my voice quaver. I can vaguely remember his responses
where he repeatedly reassured me, You deserve to know. Your time has to
come. Whatever he meant didnt convince me, nor could I accept it was his
time to depart and I pleaded with him to stay. If this was a dream, it must at
least have been premonition as that was the last I would ever see of the man
named Gideon.
Time had lapsed again and the next thing I knew I was standing in yet
another quarter with three other cloaked figures. I was no longer emotional
and didnt feel the same kinship with these beings. They were quite different
to many of the other human-like entities in the hall and I suspect they carried
out different functions. My impression was that the seemingly human
cloaked beings like Gideon who allowed their faces to be seen acted as the
kinder ushers and usherettes of the occasion while the shorter shrouded
beings might have been the masters. They seemed more efficient but not as
sincere as the human-like ones. Their dress was for an occasion that clearly
69
reflected something Masonic and when I think back it spooked me
somewhat how they resembled the American Ku Klux Klan. If it wasnt for
the alien nature of their actual rituals, I might have even hazarded a guess as
to what they may be.
A process was taking place, this time involving the cylinders I had
mysteriously harboured still in my inside pocket. I was asked to produce
them by one of the beings. He was short like the other two and it struck me
how they were nearly identical in size. The now hazy light caused their
hoods to cast shadows over their faces making it impossible to see even an
outline of a face. I just knew that whatever lurked under that hood was an
extremely unappealing sight by human tastes and I have always suspected
this to be the reason for their masked faces.
I was asked to produce the battery objects from inside my pocket still
wrapped in that plastic bag. I wasnt even given a name for what they were
and cannot remember a verbal instruction. His cloak would have made lip
reading an impossibility so this only left the conclusion of telepathy, the
technique I had engaged in hundreds of times before.
I placed my hand to the bottom of the bag and brought out the five battery-
like cylinders as requested. I noticed they were unusually warm as if coming
out of a charger. As my fingers rubbed along their copper coating I noticed
an odd tingle that wasnt there before when handling them. It seemed that
the closer I came to passing them over, the warmer and more electrified they
became. The being who had asked me for the objects presented me with this
flat board instrument that I seemed to know something about. That board,
resembling a coat of arms was a type of ceremonial tool used for collecting
the small cylinders. I do not know of the reason for this or why I even had
these objects in the first place but understood it to be an essential part of the
ritual. One by one I placed the cylinders into the available holes circling the
perimeter of this board and felt the objects tingle increase as I did so. Just
like a coat of arms, the board was oval shaped with the pronounced edges
and also made of some dark wood that was plated with a metallic insignia.
Whatever the device was, it seemed electrical. The cylinders slid perfectly
into each hole in its formation leaving a kind of static on my fingers. Just
slowly placing one in each hole seemed a closely scrutinised and significant
task for the ceremony.
Although the ritual was being observed by the three beings, I cannot say it
involved anyone else in the hall. Similar events went on elsewhere that were
a procedure like mine. This seemingly unique event was probably just an
70
administrative task for the coordinators of the oddity. How often did this
happen? Where was it even taking place?
The coat of arms was taken away from me immediately after loading it with
the cylinders. There didnt seem to have been any order in which to do this
as the holes were identical. I was then asked to turn round and face another
part of the room where one of the beings stood in front of me. He/she asked
me to go down on one knee as if to receive a knighthood. I cant ever
remember misunderstanding an instruction; each one seemed unusually
clear. Telepathy was used throughout. Not only did the capacity for
questioning seem absent but messages were received as if transmitted
directly. Robotically I had gone down on one knee facing the direction I had
been asked, awaiting the next instruction. Without rehearsal I went through
the perfect motions of a ceremony and the being stood over me as if to offer
a simulated knighthood.
Whatever way I had been programmed, I reserved the capacity to observe.
Looking past the waist level of the entitys monk-like gown I could see other
people queuing along the facing wall just like I had done earlier. Each still
possessed that look of vacant trance and I couldnt see that actress anywhere
by now. The being was saying something to me, not necessarily instruction
but more like a kind of chant which I strangely remember getting the gist of.
The final part of this ceremony involved the being bringing down what
seemed to be a square object upon my head. From somewhere he had
acquired a metallic shape that resembled a windowpane and this was
supposed to be lowered down over me starting from the crown of my head.
The action itself wasnt unlike the way security staff at my company
occasionally run metal detectors over staff leaving the building in the event
of theft only this was different. Here I could actually feel the magnetism of
the object. As the shape was lowered over my head I remember feeling the
weighty underwater pressure around my temples following a sudden blue
crack of light the colour of a camera flash.
That sudden light was hauntingly familiar and I was starting to realise why.
Camera flashes have often proved to have an adverse effect on me when
having my picture taken. They conjure up memories of odd sensations,
flashes from strange stick-like devices--magic wands that leave your eyes
burning. If only I could remember what that light signified. I knew it
overwhelmed your eyes leaving you fazed and it either made you remember
things or forget. Camera flashes and magicians with wands rang so many
loud bells, yet I dont remember a thing about this magical square.
71
I knew it made my head crackle and this (not unpleasant) sensation was
accompanied with the flashes. In this case it seemed to provoke memory
rather than suppress it and those memories shot at me like rapid dj vu. Odd
things were coming into my thought processes abnormally fast, all due to
this thing encompassing my head. Images and emotions came and went
faster than I could comprehend. It was like one of those clips seen on TV
where a multitude of images are flashed before the viewer leaving them
unable to process even one. At rocket speed the images cascaded through my
mind, some familiar, some not, a few deeply personal and others notably
irrelevant. Had I sat down with a pen and notebook afterwards I could not
have written a single thing I had seen. This struck me as interesting gap
between the conscious and subconscious, an area which the Programmers
have obviously learned to bridge. On a different level, my mind worked as
fast as the activity happening to me. Just like the game show contestant who
has to remember a whole itinerary of items but can only name one or two
afterwards. Hypnotise him and he will remember them all! Could this be the
reason that so many alien interactors choose to liaise with these dark parts of
the human brain? I seemed to have been processing these images as quickly
as I was registering them, yet I would always confess to being the type that
likes to digest things in their own time.
The memories were complex but if I was asked to define their whole
purpose or meaning I would point to realisation. For about the period of a
few minutes, the time I estimated the whole strange event with the square
taking place, it seemed to be a session of total and simultaneous realisation.
As soon as that blue light cracked around me, I seemed to grasp a huge host
of information, some of it familiar and most of it foreign. It was a few
minutes where I would say, So thats what its all about. I knew the whys
and the hows behind most strange things. This was a powerful tool of
activation and something I would not only compare with instant knowledge
being charged into my brain but a soluble understanding of that knowledge.
There is a sad side to this phenomenon because I dont have the means to
access that realisation. Some of it still comes back to me at intervals but
nothing like those vital minutes of insight.
I say its sad because I always imagined new knowledge to be permanent,
allowing the new awareness forever but that wasnt the case. I have always
considered the concept of thought to be intangible but there seem to be
beings advanced enough to treat it like magnetic data and actually
manipulate it that way. It also comes across as sad how nothing would ever
be sacred in a possible future where innermost thoughts could be uploaded
72
and downloaded if that is what was happening. Perhaps its a blessing that a
process like that can only be carried out by highly intelligent and responsible
beings, which is the way I view these entities. Otherwise, it would be a
frightening violation.
Only recently I had a vague flashback of one of the memories triggered that
night and it seemed to be something involving a huge and complex circuit
board of some kind. God only knows what this mechanism operated but I
remembered understanding it very well. It was another one of those
flashbacks occurring while dropping off to sleep. I woke up wondering why
nobody had thought of that design before; I even grabbed the pen and pad
next to my bed (something I now keep regularly) but it was no good, the
fuzzy dj vu effect wore off before I could collect its magnificence. I was
left knowing as much about circuitry as before.
The memory induction ritual with that windowpane device had proven to be
the most important part of the ceremony if not of all time during my life of
strangeness. It also seemed to be the last oddity I would encounter. I
remember the process drawing to a close. The crackling seemed to die down
along with the frequency of blue light. The cloaked beings had watched the
process although I dont remember them actually commenting or doing
anything. When it was over, one of them had reached above me to collect
the device and when I think back to this, it was interesting. If one of them
had lowered it over my head in the first place why would they have needed
to let it go? Had it taken off on its own accord, revolving around my head as
I had suspected or was it attached to something?
I recall being very hazy at this stage. New people came over to collect me.
These seemed to be the hosts consisting of seemingly sincere men and
women whom I remember being very praising towards me and offering an
assurance that I had done well and it was now all over. That seemed to be a
kind of welcoming blur for me after stepping off a highly disorientating
fairground ride. I am not sure what really happened afterwards or who put
me to bed that night. For me, it was indeed all over and I suppose this
largely brings me to the end of my story.
What you will now read are accounts and memories of incidents from my
past, the personal history that I thought I knew prior to this ceremony.
Whatever had happened on that night must have been the climax to a very
slow period of activation starting from that strange morning where I woke in
the park until now.
To my knowledge, no contact or bizarre interaction has taken place since
73
that night of the ceremony, but that doesnt mean that strange memories
have stopped seeping through. Maybe I have chosen to write this book at a
stage too early in my life because I strongly suspect that the activation is
something which continues to this day.


























74

4
__________

Living Programme


Whereas before and only through error had I caught a glimpse of the
magic inside Pandoras Box, the lid had now been deliberately blown and its
contents saturated me.
Instead of being provided with the answer to everything, it first brought only
further confusion. I wasnt transformed from disciple to messiah as one
would imagine because my new gift of enlightenment didnt appear to
have any immediate use. The morning after that strange ceremony (and I
cannot even remember that morning) I didnt necessarily rush out to tell the
world, in fact I only remember being subdued during this period.
Memories would come to me in unexpected doses similar to the way they
had before, only this time, the spoon fed deliverance of those messages
seemed to be carefully administered. When I first suspected alien activity in
my life it caused me to run before I could walk but now they had left me
with an un-manned yet accurately prepared programme that left no room for
those unprepared glitches. Clearly my revelation of the school medical
room seemed to upset the applecart somewhere and someone had decided
on a different approach. I imagine that a careful process was planned right
from the beginning. First the preparation, second the activation, and third,
the rest of my life with its gradual release of memory.
I wanted all that information there and then but for reasons concerning my
well-being, not to mention the secrecy of my interactors, that wasnt to be.
An acorn had been seeded in me with an oak trees potential but that alone
wouldnt prove the existence of that tree nor its wisdom. I had to wait, stage
by stage, and I didnt particularly like it.
The information that was released however was never disappointing and
amongst it seemed to be telltale signs about the Programmers and their
reality. It is true that they devised a foolproof system this time that wouldnt
leak excess information but that wasnt going to control the way I read into
it. Among the very first messages secreted into my mind during this process,
75
I gleaned information that wasnt meant to be shared, something about one
of their greatest secrets--amnesia.
It occurred to me that these beings didnt come from a reality like we do
where time is linear and the sequence is 1 then 2 then 3. Perhaps their past,
present and future all exists as one. I have heard this theory discussed a
number of times before in UFOlogy and its writing. Quite often in UFOlogy
when the subject arises about the home or source of inter-dimensional
beings, a simultaneous time zone seemed to be a popular theory. I often
wonder why alien interaction seems so cryptic and absurd? Imagine for
instance how easy it would be for somebody of that all at once zone
coming to our reality and to manipulate our time line and memories. Its as
easy for a playwright to readjust the sequence of events and characters roles
to suit a particular outcome. This theory points us right in the direction of
explaining many unexplainable phenomena, such as dj vu.
Because we are so used to thinking in terms of linear time and sequence, our
memories are fundamental and easy to alter. If these beings were capable of
time travel (a theory I sometimes use to explain away the strangeness of my
life) they probably wouldnt even need to attempt it for altering our
memories. As far as were concerned, time only exists in a system of 1-2-3
and that gets rearranged as easily as film on a video cassette.
I was only aware that I fell asleep in the park that night in the autumn of 94
followed by a peculiar dream. After that I woke up in the same spot, none of
the wiser. The before and after sounded plausible enough--but where was
the in-between?
This is what I discovered about the aliens and their uses of amnesia. It
manifests as some sort of time theft for effectively carrying out abduction
and is something I am going to refer to as disorientation. When a persons
cognitive skills are disorientated the way mine had been, they could be just
about anywhere. It is as simple as returning somebodys awareness back to
the point they last remembered and in my case it was collapsing that night
onto the grass. The last thing I consciously recalled was feeling excessively
tired and only intending to lie down for a few minutes. Whenever my mind
tried to think back along that timeline, it always returned to that very
moment.
If I thought that little bit harder I would catch a very strange glimpse about
memories that never were. Following this comes a familiar burn that tells me
I have crossed the line again.
It seemed like a mental default, the way my mind swung back to that
76
moment in the park, discarding all the fuzzy strangeness thereafter as a
dream. I knew there was more because it continued to nag me so. Like many
other abduction scenarios, it seemed that the aliens had gone to certain
lengths to keep me from suspicion whenever I awoke. There is a recurrent
theme in abduction cases where the abductors always try to return their
subject the way they had found them whether that be in the same place, the
same position or even a feeble attempt to redress the abductee had their
clothes been removed. There have been many bungled examples of this
where abductees wake the next morning with their pyjamas worn back to
front or even folded neatly at the bottom of their bed. This proves how their
techniques are not as infallible as they seem and I will discuss this
fallibility later to at least offer hope.
By returning their subjects to the place or scene where they had found them,
the aliens can indeed disorientate and banish their victims suspicion. To
make the amnesia effective, I believe they do something more, something to
their minds, a blotting technique where the secret events are overlapped
rather than erased and the very last thing the victim will remember is firmly
(telepathically) etched into their minds. Its not impossible to remember the
overlapped events but by doing so, the abductee will hit a kind of barrier as I
had. I think that the vast majority of abductions are successfully carried out
this way and perhaps the ones we read about are the few bungled attempts
arousing suspicion. A frightening thought. Particularly when we think about
the scale in which this might be happening. Consider how nobody has
discovered what dj vu actually is, yet every one of us has them.
Disorientation works, perhaps on a disturbing scale.
It wasnt until after the activation encounter at the secret ceremony that I
became aware of this practice. I started to recognise a certain trait about its
effects. You only recall things when you truly want to do so. I possessed
knowledge, the type of knowledge that certain people in high places would
have me killed for, yet I went about my business as though nothing had
happened. That newly charged knowledge was just random data lying
dormant and it would only take a certain trigger to stimulate it. It must have
been about a fortnight after the secret ceremony that the first of those trigger
memories came to me.
It was one particular evening where I strolled through a shopping mall
taking advantage of the Thursday night trading. I remember just casually
browsing through household goods for my flat when I came across a
particular display in one of the shop windows, a display of lava lamps. Like
most children of the 70s, I grew up with those mesmerising lava lamps
77
which had all of a sudden become very chic again. But something seemed to
have grabbed me that wasnt just nostalgia. I looked at the contents of one of
the lamps on display showing the usual amber bubbles rising and bobbing
and I was gripped by their colour and mutating effect. That night in the park
last autumn I was actually being pursued by something like that! Not so
much the lava lamp but one of its bubbles, in fact it changed shape and
colour the same way that those things do. How could I have forgotten that?
My memory of the sky coming alive that night and resembling a lava lamp
was not a dream.
I didnt go straight home that evening. I wandered around absorbed in my
fascinating new memory. This is how I now remembered that incident in the
park: I seemed to have been going there on a regular basis but that evening I
was going to meet someone. I felt pursued by flickering balls of light that
would disappear whenever I looked at them. I remember seeing the sky
become a type of liquid revolving around a certain nucleus shaped like a
crescent. Whenever that crescent moved, everything seemed to follow. Its
surroundings were affected and so was I. It changed shape and colour
exactly like those bubbles of oil in the window display, only it seemed to
have a central purpose, which I suspect was me. I remembered a mist around
the craft and even though its amber light was dimly lit, it hurt my eyes. The
structure of that shape went from a formless bubble to an oval although it
seemed to prefer its crescent shape and reverted back to that often. It slowly
cascaded its colours from its primary dim yellow to a brilliant red followed
by a rich green. After green, it faded into white making everything around it
that colour and then the formation would begin again.
My familiar surroundings of Richmond Park were becoming less
convincing. Whatever that craft did in the sky seemed to affect all around it.
I remembered how an outline of trees in the distance had almost become
absorbed into the night sky and although night had fallen, the activity above
still caused a daylight effect. The crafts rotation of colours had now become
less frequent and everything seemed to linger more in the white. This colour
was causing an odd sensation around me, and not just a visual one. The
whiteness seemed to be an energy absorbing everything. There was
something hauntingly familiar about that white light.
Not only did the whiteness have a dense consistency to it that obscured my
vision of everything, even the grass below, but it also absorbed sound and
movement. I had that dreamlike sensation of moving through liquid, and
although white light blanked out everything visible, I could strangely see
myself, my own hands in front of me. Sounds become drowned out and
78
distant where my own footsteps on the leaves below sounded as they might
with fingers in my ears. I couldnt even describe this light as a fog because
even our traditional pea soup fog was never this consistent. The best
analogy I can give is something like being inside a lit argon bulb and still
being able to see. This light was an energy in itself robbing the five senses
and blanking out all except the craft and myself. The object above was the
nucleus of everything and the only spot where the white consistency broke. I
had the impression that the craft and I were the last two occupiers of reality.
This white realm was a strange and familiar place that always seemed to
happen as a prelude to something even stranger. Years later, during my
research, I ploughed through a number of books on the paranormal and read
about many familiar sensations but none identical to this white limbo that I
had often plunged into during encounters. Maybe it wasnt anything external
but an induced state of my mind. Perhaps everybodys is different.
It was during the whiteness that I became incredibly tired and wanted to lie
down. The craft still pulsated above with a brilliant white with a hypnotic
effect on me. Normally when I think back to this part of the story, the
disorientation creeps in and catapults me forward to the time I wake up but
that wasnt going to happen. Something took place while in the docile state,
the one I called a dream.
It began as one of those swimming dreams where one can do the
breaststroke in mid air. I swam or was drawn upwards towards what looked
like an opening in the crafts underside. To swim away from this opening
would have been like resisting a strong current towards a plughole but I
dont remember even trying. In fact the experience felt more tranquil than
threatening. I only remembered feeling vaguely concerned that I was too
drowsy for the task ahead, instinctively knowing there was a task ahead. Out
of nowhere came a voice of reassurance the moment the doubtful thought
entered my mind, something to the effect of Stay calm, you wont be asked
to do anything.
I remembered thinking either to myself or if in response to the source-less
voice how relieving that was to hear. I could hardly keep my eyes open.
Feeling myself pass through what seemed to be a portal in the object (only
identifiable by a different tone of light) felt briefly familiar, like slowly
drawing a tissue from a box of handkerchiefs. There have been a number of
times where my entire self felt as light and versatile as tissue, which I will
explain later when I try to analyse the astral side. Without the unexplained
pull coming from this portal, I honestly felt light enough to be blown away
79
by a breeze.
The next thing I knew, I was confronted with a type of welcoming
committee all dressed in the familiar robes and pointed hoods. I couldnt see
where I actually was as the room I arrived in appeared to be in a mist like a
mild sauna allowing me to hardly see anything other than this small
gathering of people. Each of them appeared to be doing something to me,
something to my clothes, which I was astonished to find, werent my own.
As I looked down I only saw that brown robe, worn many times before on
these occasions. I could only surmise that time had passed since being drawn
up through that hole and waking here, it seemed like they had just finished
dressing me.
I remember how my first thoughts were of death, particularly with the
religious theme of those outfits and the mist. Perhaps I had passed over to
the other side and was being greeted by holy men or angels even. It wasnt
the first time that I noticed the shocking similarities between their
appearance and the Grim Reaper who is said to visit those about to die. It
often makes me wonder where and why that archetype came about.
Communication had already begun. I knew I was contributing. I must have
wondered about this object I had floated into because I asked unusually
direct questions:
Is this some sort of spaceship? Are you those magician people I used
to play with?
With telepathy the reply is instantaneous: Your knowledge is expanding too
much and it will harm you. Try to trust us and we will make you better,
happier.
I cannot be sure if those were the exact words but that is how I interpreted it.
Although it seemed an irrelevant answer with hints of Double-Dutch, it
coveys more to me now than I ever believed it would. I also believe that my
questions were being answered in their abstract technique of demonstration.
I was led into another room that appeared to be a studio of some kind, far
more hi-tech than the steam (arrival) room. They were definitely trying to
bring something home to me regarding that comment about expanding
knowledge. That seemed to be the whole reason I was there, my earlier
defiance about learning too much about them at a premature stage. It will
harm you. I had been subliminally warned on several occasions not to go
down that inquisitive path but my suspicion would have none of it. This was
probably the final warning in the form of a mind alteration.
80
The alien way of communication uses gestures, documented images and
scenarios. I stood in this studio type room with about five of the cloaked
beings standing around me, waiting for something. At this point I noticed
that the room seemed bigger than I first imagined but that was due to
something else happening. There was a whole new phenomenon taking place
where I could experience two different scenarios, one inside with the beings
and another existing in an outside location far removed from where I
actually was. When I looked around me I was in a strikingly convincing
scene of a garden somewhere with other people around me. Yet if I looked
beyond this, I could see the perimeter of the room and the cloaked beings
watching me. They seemed to have induced some state of dual vision where
I could quite convincingly be in two places and whichever one I chose to
focus on turned out to be the realistic one.
For some reason they wanted me to interact with or at least experience the
one they had imposed as this was where a message lay waiting. It seemed
more appeasing than the reality of their featureless room as this scene
appeared to be one of greenery and sunlight. When I chose to focus on the
images, the rooms background and the beings within it deteriorated
miraculously. I was back in that garden with those other people watching a
strange commotion going on. It showed a group of doctors or medical nurses
trying to restrain a hysterical patient displaying a fierce resistance to
something. The man (no one I seemed to know) in his fifties seemed
genuinely fearful and was constantly babbling out loud something hard to
decipher, a foreign language perhaps. It was difficult to say what vantage
point I was standing at because I was able to view the scene at all angles.
Everything was three-dimensional to look at except for myself, I seemed to
be no more than a viewpoint in this scene and saw no evidence of what I
actually was. I studied the scene displayed to me suspecting that my
abductors were testing me. At first the odd scene of doctors restraining a
patient didnt have any relevance until something horrible dawned upon me;
the patient in question could have in some representative way been me.
It was hard to see myself in this man but I was overcome how intriguing and
disturbing it was that someone else (aliens) saw me this way. I even
remember an old saying coming to mind, Grant us the gift to see ourselves
the way others see us. How many people can honestly say theyve had the
faculty to see themselves from another perspective, the way we see others?
It also disturbed me what actually went on in the scene because this was
never a replay of anything happening in my life. The man was clearly
freaked out and one of the nurses prepared a syringe of tranquilliser for him
81
while the others maintained a desperate restraint. Also disturbing was the
way he ranted about something that I couldnt understand a word of. The
ranting was not even a language I could understand or identify.
He was eventually subdued with one arm held outwards for the nurse to
inject. The brief and explosive scene died down with what appeared to be
dwindling rants still trying to say something. I remembered the feeling of
sadness as my mind tried to register some sort of meaning behind it all.
The message reiterated by the beings: Expanding knowledge can do harm.
The penny had dropped through one of their mind games.
That scene never had nor ever will take place. It was a psycho-dramatic
possibility of what to expect if I learned too much too soon from this spill
over of information. That was why I had been abducted that night. The
strange language spoken by the patient is something Ill never know.
Before the tranquilliser showed any effect on the sad image of the dwindling
man, I was whisked away on to yet another scene. Like the previous, I didnt
appear to have any vantage point and remained just an anonymity with the
ability to view all angles.
This time it was a scene of busy street (no particular street that I knew) that
showed people going about their daily business. I remembered seeing traffic,
pedestrians and the usual sight of people engaged in everyday activity, but
there was something odd. Things were taking place outside of the activity
shown and the people were not even aware of it. As I looked upon what
seemed to be a family crossing the road, there were ghostly people walking
in midair right above them. Scores of nearly transparent people were
everywhere in the scene together with ghostly inanimate objects such as
vehicles passing right through the physical ones. I seemed to be witnessing
another dual reality where the occupants of each were totally oblivious to
one another. The ghostly reality reminded me of those images sometimes
seen on faulty TV sets and photographs. One existence seemed to be
intertwined with the other and only I, the onlooker, seemed to be aware. An
impression immediately came to mind, accompanied with this scene,
something about belief and evidence. The message: It is reality. How
could I ever define it and why should I even try to prove it exists? At this
point I remember having the wind drawn completely from my sails.
If this is the way it was in everyday life, then we must be tiny cogs in the
works of a frighteningly large and complex network. If anybody actually
knows of this other reality then they would probably be in peak of
authority and my life didnt even touch upon that status. Even suggesting
82
this to anyone would leave me without a leg to stand on because none of it
truly exists in our realm, the physical. What I looked upon was a kind of
inter-dimensional world, a hypothetical one almost. And the message gained
through their usual psycho-dramatics: You have been plunged into
something way above your head, try to forget it, youre just not ready.
Through the disappointment came a personal acceptance and it wasnt until I
swallowed that acceptance that we shifted yet again.
I find this scene shifting miraculous. All of a sudden as if no time had
passed, I was in another room with another cloaked entity, wearing my
ordinary clothes this time. Time had passed because I already seemed to be
in conversation with the being. This time I got the impression that messages
of condolence or morale were being offered:
Now you see why we had to bring you here. Try not to worry about us or
our world. Live your life as we will always be here. Abandon your pursuit of
these things and forget the disappointment. Live on, etc.
My recall of these messages made no sense to begin with but after repeating
them to me, they seem to point to a bigger picture. The two virtual reality
scenes that had been shown were a subtle way of converting my interests.
My persistent intrigue beforehand was causing problems for them and their
security. Something had to be done with me, mentally. I suspect they would
have had the means to simply erase the knowledge from my mind if they
wanted but perhaps that was too crude. They had to make me want to
come around to their way of thinking and the two scenes shown were an
effective way of doing that. The first scene involving the doctors being a
kind of "shock documentary" of what might happen whilst the second one
would remind me of how intangible and remote their reality actually was.
Both were tools for influencing discouragement and both had worked. It
would certainly explain the out-of-character cynicism I acquired around that
time and my sudden doubts of the paranormal.
The one faculty they had left me with was my vibrant intrigue, the driving
force behind the formation of CE5. I suspect that had been left deliberately
so that my mind would always be kept open, perhaps for future contact?
I will never really know if that cloaked being was actually Gideon, my now
departed friend and mentor. I did after all discuss certain things in depth
during that abduction the way I did with Gideon where messages were
transmitted and immediately understood without so much as a pardon. Some
of those messages I have managed to convert into chosen words or phrases
of our language. The gist of the messages are what I have highlighted above.
83
This is as accurate as I can be given the incomprehensibility of all things
telepathic.
He seemed to be my last person to liaison with on that bizarre trip as it
looked as though it was my time to depart. It was at this point that I
remembered where those mysterious battery objects I possessed came from.
I remembered him giving me something like a handful of metal chips almost
as a farewell. He convinced me that the objects held a particularly special
purpose, something to do with collection and that I needed to keep them
for a while. His instructions were well followed.
On reflection I have a fair idea of what he meant by collection. An
impression came to me of a method I could compare to psychometry, the
technique used to study a persons past present and sometimes future using
objects they possess such as jewellery. The objects were not necessarily
attached to me like jewellery instead only left in my house but that
apparently was enough to collect whatever vibes I may have transmitted.
I clearly remember collecting them from the cupboard where my gas
appliance was but dont remember actually putting them there. In fact, the
moment that being presented them to me was all I really remembered of the
objects.
In an instant, that scene changed to another without a transition. This new
scene hurt my head slightly when I try to recall it because of
disorientation. I remember seeing light similar to the light I first witnessed
where everything went white and all I could see was the luminous amber
blob with the sky resembling liquid. The same tiredness consumed me and I
couldnt resist passing out. Before I could comprehend anything, I
remembered feeling dry grass beneath me while turning over to try to see the
odd light again. Nothing. Stupid dream were the only words I remember,
whether they were my uttering or someone elses. Stupid dream seemed
quite reasonable as I recall the weariness pulling me back down into a deep
sleep.
Upon waking, the only fragments of memory I had were of a dream and the
only image coming to mind seemed to be that amber blob. Just thinking
about that at the time with its accompanying white light seemed to hurt my
eyes and querying it only activated that mental boundary, making my head
hurt even more.
That was my memory--alien disorientation, psycho-dramatic scenes and
mental programming, all fantastic feats of engineering possible from another
realm. Where did any of this leave me? That night, since seeing the oil
84
lamps, I remained lost in thought and wandered around until late. Never has
such an astounding event buried in my mind come back with such impact
and clarity. This was the beginning of a whole new era in my life where I
had been granted unconditional scope to explore the past and my mind
without boundaries. The night in the park was the first of a bizarre flood of
memories that would leak to the surface at the most unexpected times.
That night I seemed to have slept far better than normal. The revelation must
have been taxing. I used the following few days to collect myself and take it
easy. There wasnt a single doubt in my mind now that a huge part of my
past was spent partaking in alien activities.
It all seemed to fit perfectly well when I thought back to the strangeness of
everything. All along, the wool had been pulled over my eyes until a time
when I suddenly recalled a strange childhood memory of a school medical
room incident. That memory hinted some involvement with the paranormal,
my subject of fascination and that triggered a relentless intrigue to uncover
things. It appeared to be a slip up made by someone and they obviously
didnt appreciate my investigation. More information was coming through
and soon the horse would have bolted too much to allow the stable door to
close. A number of psychological attempts were made to divert my mind
from this information expanding knowledge harming you and I must have
been stubborn because the last resort seemed to have been finally called for,
the night in the park- alien abduction.
From what I remember whilst aboard that suspended vehicle, everything was
meticulously planned as a last measure to reprogram my mind. It obviously
worked. Overnight I seemed to have been transformed with a whole new
mental outlook.
A new chapter began where my interests and horizons were pleasantly
broadened. A man named Gideon suddenly arrived in my life as
mysteriously as he exited it and I can only assume he had been sent either
as someone to overlook or a guardian angel perhaps. In fact, he was the most
outstanding piece to my entire puzzle and stood out as a part that didnt fit.
He was not an ethereal being or an alien but his presence and regular
partaking in my life caused inconsistencies that never added up. Whenever
Gideon came into my world he seemed to bring with him the Oz Factor
along with all its strange physical laws and indescribable time sequences.
My meetings with him didnt make sense, time passed quicker than it ever
should and my basic sense of analytical critique shut down whenever I saw
him. It could have been a time where I was unwittingly hypnotised or even
85
operating in a conscious dream.
It wasnt until months later following a particular night in January 96 where
I was collected by a suspicious car and driven to a Masonic ceremony that a
part of that strangeness began to clear. That ceremony was the last incident
where I ever saw the mysterious Gideon and my involvement there seemed
to be a type of farewell ceremony. Those cylindrical objects I possessed
were handed back to the beings as if a token of myself and in return I was
granted the gift of memory.
Looking back, it wasnt unlike the religious Bar Mitzvah ceremony where a
13-year old boy attends a special initiation to pass him over to religious
manhood. There were certain traits to that ceremony that smacked of our
earthly ones, both religious and pagan. It was as if I had proved my own
maturity that night and was initialised into a higher level of understanding.
After going though such a suspicious and turbulent period I had perhaps now
acquired enough wisdom not to yell out to the whole world that I was in
touch with the other side. Perhaps now I could contain the knowledge of the
beings and their world without going to pieces like I might have done years
beforehand.
I had been stringently monitored all the way and every time I slipped off of
the rails, I was put back with careful precision. By some omnipotent method,
there are overlords who can engineer this. I believe it is carried out from
their own ethereal zone where all things are possible, past present and future.
With this new awareness I could gradually unfold the past and make of it
what I had to. I still think the most astounding memories were during the
abduction where for the first time I had actually seen the physical and
technical sides of this phenomenon. That thing I had seen in the sky seemed
like a machine both technical and biological. Its structure was like nothing
we have in our world as it seemed to become solid or mutating whenever it
needed. I even remember seeing a portal in its underside into which I was
weightlessly drawn.
However the thing that really blew my mind were those holographic displays
shown to me aboard, the images conjured from nowhere. If I didnt know
better I would insist that was the future of virtual reality maybe hundreds of
years ahead of our own version. Not even our best technology with the
cyber-helmets can totally fool anyone onto believing images are completely
three-dimensional and even allow us a view of all angles similar to the way
interactive TV does. Their version of VR seems to have moved onto
something more convincing than actual reality.
86
The messages intended from those psycho-dramatic scenes may have been
cryptic, but they made perfect sense. Even thought the alien beings appear to
beat about the bush when delivering a message, this technique gets it across
in the most impressionable way. Psychodrama as I am calling it might also
be the future of communication as it is of virtual reality. For years we have
used visual media to demonstrate and bring messages across this way and
perhaps what I have witnessed shows an alien reflection of this. What I have
seen seems to be a way of life much like telepathy and other bizarre
communicative tactics.
Rather than just telling me that I was getting into something too deep and to
steer clear only to have me balk and defy, they showed me shock
documentaries that would impress upon emotions as well as thoughts. By
inducing a scene of a sickly man ranting in a strange language and another
of an inaccessible realm, they had impressed upon me a deep message. It
was like brainwashing but far more effective--your core self transformed
into their way of thinking. The ranting patient is what happens to those with
too much knowledge--the ghostly scene within the earthly one is an example
of where our world actually is. That was at least how I interpreted it. Try
to trust us and we will make you better, happier. Steer clear and find other
interests and you wont end up this way.
These messages were better subliminal and that explains why I was
made to forget the incident aboard the craft. As soon as I was returned to
terra firma, a new mental outlook began in which I would treat these odd
paranormal episodes with a pinch of salt. Life seemed to have picked up a
great deal after that where I chose to study science rather than just dream
about it. My interest in the paranormal remained, although I became quite
blas about any hints of personal involvement. A new no-nonsense and
scientific outlook led me to form CE5 and then the saga with Gideon began.
I was collected at an arranged location in an absurd car and driven to a
gathering for an even more absurd ceremony. This was the final opening of a
secret box where everything suspicious happening in my past was
cryptically explained. The visitors of my life were to finally depart and the
future seemed to have been left for whatever I wanted to make of it.
The future part is what concerned me the most, because I really wondered
what it meant for me now. I felt that these overlords had finally abandoned
whatever project it was that had centred upon my life for so long. Their
departure had seemed so final and it was like I was now expected to possess
their wisdom and knowledge like the bird ready to fly the nest. They were
87
somehow telling me that I had passed over and about to take my first
steps.
I began to get the gist of what was happening, and why it was happening yet
there were still enormous gaps between my knowledge and truly
understanding. Nothing is ever explained directly and perhaps that is due to
our ability to comprehend, similar to the way we use methods to help
animals understand our processes.
I can only imagine what level these beings must operate at to have to
communicate in such an obscure and abstract way. I have received messages
in the English language through telepathy on so many occasions but I have
only ever properly learned of my programme from them by gesture and
demonstration.
My impression as the animal was that it was over. For whatever reason, I
had been targeted for research right from the beginning with a programme
devised for me. In that time, I had been studied, evaluated and finally
released back into the wild to make of it whatever I will.
Memory wasnt the only gift they had left me with on their departure.
Something had been left in my mind; something intelligently controlled and
automated to carefully administer my memories. I couldnt just reach in and
extract anything I wanted because the memory facility was now a slow-
acting capsule, gradually releasing data when appropriate. My mind still
seemed to have its parameters and areas that I couldnt explore even though
the Programmers and their intrusion had long left me. I instinctively knew
that there was more information buried deep and that it would surface in its
own good time. What could this programme have been if it wasnt a living
entity? Not living as in conscious or aware but something robotic and time
activated that seemed to have its own presence rather like an inanimate
counterpart such as a digital clock.
The living programme even had its own defence mechanism much like the
mental taboos I spoke of earlier but probably not as strict. I now had the
freedom to wonder without the sensation of a head burn every time I
crossed or queried a set boundary. Now, when my mind chose to wander
over those boundaries, nothing really happened. I simply could not
remember what I wasnt allowed to and that was its defence. It had all been
cleverly engineered so I still had limits yet also a newly given leeway. I
doubt that even the most sophisticated hypnotist would have been able to
break into this deep and dormant mechanism.
These beings were gone but had left their mark unreachably deep. I surmised
88
that the mechanism wouldnt be there forever. Like most of the alien
contrives, given time they always deteriorate without trace. My body and
mind had been a vehicle for them to help them operate in our reality.
I had often read of alien encounters where the subject had reported strange
and unaccounted marks on their bodies such as incisions or foreign objects
under the skin. I have never (consciously) recalled anything as physical or
crude as this. Maybe that is due to what I surmised in an earlier chapter
about subjects being prescribed different programmes courses for horses
or maybe even contact with different races of beings. The ones that I had
been involved with I suspect were more mind orientated and
psychologically interactive than physical. I dont ever remember physical
examinations being carried out and never come across any strange or
unaccounted marks. I always insisted that they only used me as a tool and
abandoned me when I became of no further use. I have sensed great
compassion and by that compassion I would be able to recognise my
particular visitors anywhere. Whether or not I will remains to be seen.
Similar to the reported Greys and Nordics and various others that
seem to display certain patterns in peoples lives that typify them, my
Programmers had shown an identifiable pattern. Part of that pattern is their
psychological presence. I sensed a paternal kindness and wisdom commonly
found in a religious elder such as a priest but on the other hand there is that
distance making their wisdom seem incomprehensible and out of reach for
the likes of a human. Because of that, they will always seem light years
away, even in their immediate presence.
Despite that I still miss them. Regardless of their departure without truly
explaining who they ever were and all the jumbled and cryptic information
they had left me with, I still desired that feeling of enlightenment when
being in their company. Perhaps the one I missed most was the elusive
contact they seemed to have appointed to me, Gideon. If there was anyone
seemingly from this planet who emitted the same paternal, magical presence
of the Programmers, he seemed to have had the art. I am convinced he was
never human because of the magnitude of his intelligence and the
manipulative command that intelligence had over my trust. Remember how
he came into my life a total stranger.
Early in 96 when it actually dawned on me that I may never see Gideon
again, I desperately searched for his possible whereabouts and origin. I
clarified with others such as Paul and Wendy who had actually met the man
and how they would describe him. I wanted to confirm he wasnt just a
89
figment of my imagination like countless others I believed to be from my
past. Their descriptions and summing up fitted with mine but they could
never have truly known him the way I did. Nothing could account for his
elusiveness either, the way he first mysteriously came into my life.
I retraced our footsteps from the beginning, that first meeting of the UFO
study group held at the community hall to the time of the unexplained
ceremony. Nobody seemed to know anything, not the study group or anyone
in the area. This didnt surprise me. I knew how this mans tracks would
have been covered professionally, almost magically. If Scotland Yard had
been on this case they wouldnt have come any nearer. The case was closed
and I drew my own conclusions. The man called Gideon was some kind of
agent or co-ordinator from the existence I call the Otherness. His techniques
pointed to the suspicion that he had interacted with my life all along which is
why I thought his face screamed of familiarity the day I met him.
During that period, months after the night ceremony, I seemed to be in a
reflective mood with much time on my hands. I used this time to investigate
more than just my kinship with Gideon. My whole life had been strange but
the strangeness had definitely come to a climax during those last few years.
Where exactly was that ceremony held and what about the UFO encounter?
I searched the vastness of Richmond Park and although I came across parts
that were vaguely familiar, none were exact. I even tried visiting the park at
twilight hours just to get the same feel and help jog memories of the night in
autumn 94. The exact location of the event still evaded me. It was easy to
remember where I actually walked that night even in my induced daze but
the place where it should have led me to just wasnt the one.
With so much time on my hands, I later decided to investigate some other
areas of phenomenon only to come to similar results. I was intrigued by that
night of the ceremony where I was driven to a strange location in a very
questionable vehicle. Finding the spot where I was collected by the car was
easy as it was a place I knew well but the route we had taken was a mystery.
Each night I would travel top deck on any of the local bus routes to try to
identify where I was actually driven that night but nothing looked familiar. I
was so eager to find that building where the ceremony took place; the one
that resembled a stately home inside but nothing like that existed for miles. I
even checked with the local town hall and the nearest one would never have
justified my short car journey that night.
These searches reminded me of those black comedies about paranoia where
a person tries to go places where an event was supposed to have happened
90
but finds it miraculously removed. I can only put this down to the level of
strangeness that one can expect to find when confronted with the odd
climates of another existence. It isnt even something I could share with
anyone due to its total defiance of logic and physical law. Disorientation of
time and location seem to be common traits of this interaction and I cannot
really expect anybody to believe me.
I had reached a time in my life of acceptance where the conclusion to
something could be satisfactorily met with a question mark. No longer
would I rack my brains to try to rationalise a procession of events that were
so utterly irrational. I was already convinced of a metaphysical existence
where time and distance were immaterial and I wasnt going to look into its
mechanisms or even try to explain its mystery. What mattered at this point
was that I was far from insane yet these occurrences were very real and not
just the product of dreaming. The more I read about these episodes whether
they are ghostly or seemingly sci-fi, there seemed to be this common theme
of otherworldly conditions where time and physics are quite different.
Although I hadnt read of anything identical to my own experiences, so
many people involved in these things have reported their own particular
version of the otherness where life and reality were something else. The
way one perceives this is probably quite subjective.
The way in which the paranormal actually affects you can also be personal
and characteristic. I seemed to have been experiencing the aftermath of a
lifelong paranormal relationship and remember feeling incredibly lonely
some time after my visitors departure. So many times I would find gaps in
my life where I believe a mutual activity once took place and remember
great confusion about these gaps without even suspecting the presence of
others.
In 1996, I first felt specially prepared for the information that was slowly
uploading from the depths of my mind. I didnt necessarily go to pieces with
the information like I suspected I might; this possibility was also taken care
of. Alongside the feelings of abandonment came that acceptance and that
was a blessing. My now departed friends had left me with a marvellous and
automated device to protect as well as educate.
The living programme seemed to work in accordance with my intellectual
and emotional capacity. It was as though the system knew which buttons to
press and which ones to steer clear of and in a way, I suspect it was cleverer
than the Programmers themselves. I think that when someone is selected the
way I had been, the interaction is a long pattern of trial and error. So many
91
slip-ups occur along the way which the visitors themselves have to
immediately patch up.
This early period of interaction can last for years and I believe its like a
period of teething troubles for the visitors to get to know their subject. My
particular visitors must have needed most of my life to date because they had
only just departed.
I have often read of cases where the visitors are reported to have
suddenly departed this way without warning, finally leaving their subject to
live in peace. Quite often, there are souvenirs left over similar to my
programme such as those crude tracking devices commonly found in the
subjects nasal cavity. I am not entirely sure what the significance of these
leftovers actually is but I feel that my mental contraption was something
quite different. It seemed to be astral as opposed to technical and worked
upon the concept of the mind rather than the brain. I doubt that even the
most advanced of CAT scans that analyse the brain would be able to detect
the presence of this device.
Instead of tracking devices, perhaps it is the latest technique of alien
implanting following the many foiled examples of the ones that humans
have extracted and found to self destruct.
I imagine that my own "auric" version of an implant will also self destruct
given time. That will be when my visitors will have truly gone from my life
and taken their mark with them. Until then I can only consider myself a
marked man with total freedom to roam but able to be detected if necessary.
I still regard this freedom a blessing and accept that I can at least theorise
about things from now on.
Burning questions remain unanswered, but perhaps that is case with the
paranormal and UFOlogy worldwide.
I used this time to try to get my life back in order, but the impact left upon
my mind by the visitors seemed to have robbed me of cognitive skills.
Whenever the beings made a major presence in my life it seemed to affect
my mental state either by boosting or crippling it.
As I was growing up, their subliminal presence always cluttered my mind
with unexplained activity that would hinder my concentration and later lead
to underachievement. Much later in life my mind gets altered further where I
developed a thirst for learning and a new capacity to absorb information. I
chose science and discovered abilities I never knew I had. Those distractive
obsessions for obscure subjects such as stage magic and the occult managed
92
to take a back seat, which was extremely useful.
I had become a changed person with new connections and resources,
someone with a mind open to all possibilities. That was until the recent
development took place with the ceremony and the departure of my
friends. Since this happened, my mind seemed to have reverted back to the
old limited state in which it had been prior to my awareness. I only
discovered this when I tried to pick up the pieces and continue with my life
once the dust had settled from my ceremonial affair.
My first thoughts were to extend my studies, particularly as I had done so
well with my science degree. I went on a brief refresher course with an
intention to further where I had left off, perhaps on to the next level. When I
embarked on this study I was completely shocked. That cast iron willingness
I developed for learning seemed to have mysteriously withered and I
couldnt understand why. My ability to grasp facts and figures also seemed
absent and I was left wondering how I ever managed to even get through the
absolute basics of the science degree. It really felt as though I was now
sitting the studies for another person, the bright student who regularly
attended this college the previous year.
Needless to say, I didnt continue with this extended study. It was quite
shocking to realise how my mind had reverted back to a time when I really
didnt care for anything academic. Just as before, my mind seemed both
unsettled and unwilling to apply itself to study, my concentration span
resembled an insects and the new ability to grasp things (a granted gift I
believe) seemed to have diminished.
It wasnt for lack of trying or the effects of the recent events that caused this
decline as I genuinely felt different. I find it amazing how alien interaction
can make or break a persons mind this way but then maybe it was deliberate
engineering.
This was another unique and notable point in my saga of interaction. I hadnt
read anything exactly like this before. There are a number of cases where
people have reported new or creative breakthroughs following exposure to
alien intervention or the paranormal where they have taken to art or
spirituality. There are also cases where abductees have developed social and
ecological consciences and expressed great concerns for the environment,
but not once have I come across a case where the gifts are actually taken
back.
I felt bare and out on a limb. Somebody had used me all along and then
departed leaving me as a shell of who I was before. It even felt like I had
93
been put on a special medication to keep me a certain way. Although I
wouldnt have described my state of mind around this time as unpleasant, it
was definitely being controlled and even repressed. So often I would find
myself in this deeply reflective mood where I could sit and ponder over my
cryptic past with the visitors but there also came a terrible lethargy with this
state where I would let life pass by.
My zest for science and its study seemed to have long gone and I developed
a compulsion for complacency. At the same time there was still the familiar
abundance of activity that brought in floods of strange memories. It felt as
though I had been turned into a slow-acting machine that could do nothing
other than get charged with electrical information and when I look back to
this state, I realise there was a reason. Without it I may have cracked into a
thousand pieces.
It was undoubtedly some kind of spell I had been put under, one which
lasted for a few years. When I think about magical folklore of witches and
their bizarre spells cast for either good or bad, it brings home what a spell
actually is. Rather than being something that influences a persons luck it
moulds their minds, moods and perhaps auras. Unexplained mood swings
are not uncommon in people but it is a frightening thought how these states
are said to be creatable by humans within secret bodies using crude ELF
waves as some conspiracy theorists suggest.
In this state, frequent memories would strike at unexpected moments while
something inside safely kept my mind at bay. With these memories and
sometimes through a change in emotion, objects around me would
occasionally move. There were still times where I would walk past desks
and papers would fly towards me, sticking to my back. Spoons and crockery
would sometimes shudder as I approached the table and there were
occasions where TV and radio were affected by my presence.
This might have been emotionally devastating had I not been in this
collective lull of complacency and pondering. I must have meant something
to these beings given that they had preserved my sanity this way. I often
wonder if that meant they would return at some point in the future to hijack
my mind once more using it as an earthly base of operation.
The following few years gave no sign of this whatsoever although it did
prove to be an enlightening period in terms of revelation.


94





























95

5
__________

The Truth in Yesterday


Children and often adults have a tendency to reserve things that they cannot
understand. When the human mind fails to comprehend something, it has a
habit of stowing it away in a question-marked box for a very long time. It
would explain why incidents of child abuse happening at ages where the
mind is unable to fully register whats happened often surfaces much later in
adulthood.
Personally, I cannot equate what has happened to me as remotely similar to
abuse but it strikes me how minds have this mechanism to register and
accept things that dont necessarily add up. Although I regard my childhood
to have been a happy one and unusually sheltered both with and without the
experiences, there was nothing within my culture that would have prepared
me for the confusion of alien interaction. I use the term alien because there
is no established term for the astral entities I encountered that so few know
about.
Apart from the obvious ridicule, people tend to keep these experiences to
themselves mainly because their education or culture has no place for them.
Register and accept with the benefit of the doubt, that was what I had been
doing for at least four complacent years following my bombshell revelation
in 96. I knew that so much went on behind the scenes of my life that wasnt
strictly the product of dreams or ghosts and all along, subliminal string-
pullers kept me docile, insisting that I doubted everything. I knew that so
much was wrong and out of place yet I remained doubtful, refusing to make
an issue of a single thing. That was until the year of 1999 when the spell
was beginning to wear off.
When that happened, I tried to make head and tale of all the disorientating
events of my life by chronicling them and could not believe the list I had
made. This is my first proper attempt at writing and even now as I look back
upon the ludicrous stories I am telling, all things I insist have happened to
me, the disbelief and embarrassment never ceases. The absurdity behind the
96
alien agenda (something I will try to explain) puts the experiencer in a
particularly feeble position, leaving them telling a tale that sounds lacking in
proper reference to anything. So many times I have been tempted to describe
the hooded beings of my childhood as benevolent Martians who have come
here to save the world, just to give my story a bit of credibility but nothing is
ever that simple. Things have happened that are cryptic and point to the
existence of an ethereality, involving the mystery of time and the afterlife.
My slow release of memory, a programme I believe to have been installed,
only adds to that peculiarity. When memories of missing time or
disorientated events resurface, it completely rewrites the way you
acknowledge yesterday. I found that things came to me in that very
disconcerting dj vu sensation making me want to turn around and say,
Oh, thats how it happened. Often things were not as I remembered them
and it leaves me puzzled as to how I could have ever forgotten them that
way.
There was a particular scene from a recent sci-fi movie that touched upon
my interpretation of altered memories. In the film Frequency, a film about
time travel, a man had his past altered so that new memories suddenly came
to him leaving the old ones to appear as events that never were. (Dj vu?)
My father didnt die in a fire-fighting incident back in 1969, he died more
recently of a heart attack.
Much to the confused horror of his colleagues who were only too aware of
the facts he blurted out, he was left wondering why he said it. That is how
new memories come to people who have experienced missing or overlapped
time. That isnt to say that time travel is actually used, its more to do with
how the Programmers manipulate the mind and memory. Whatever they had
left me with still administers that memory.
When I examine my childhood more closely I begin to see tiny leaks left by
those who should not have been there. Perhaps I was never as lonely as I
profess because I always suspected there were others or at least an activity of
some sort that kept me occupied. It certainly explained my preoccupations
with things such as magical conjuring and secret Masonic sects, all interests
that had no source of influence. It was these interests and fixations that
pointed to the manoeuvres of others who came into my life like scene
removers of some covert play. One of those fixations was of a familiar
educating system that I believed only took place at night, that I hadnt
thought about in years.
It brought me to a special preoccupation that people often have who
97
experience the alien agenda a secret schooling. I have read of accounts
where abductees believe part of their childhood had been spent partaking in
a secret educational programme that wasnt anything to do with their normal
schooling. It was like a night time affair that involved other children being
called away to attend a type of religious or indoctrination session in an
unlocated classroom. Upon recall of these sessions, the subject can never
remember why they were there or what they had learned but it was always
described as a secret lesson they had to attend. Quite often, the lessons
learned are said to gradually release throughout periods of their life similar
to the way I believe my automated memory works.
I seemed to remember something of these nocturnal lessons being like
freemasonry, a repeating trait in my life. It was something more religious
than school lessons but then not quite like church. My memories of those
lessons are quite vague and I dont remember them continuing for long, but I
suspect they took place between the ages of ten or eleven. Something
happened at night that I knew was special and magical and I remembered
feeling privileged to be able to attend. During this time, (1978-1979?) I
remembered having this thing about the term night school. I knew night
school to be nothing more than classes for grown-ups to attend after their
working hours, but in my mind it had more of an exotic meaning. To me it
signified a magical place in the sky that grown-ups didnt know about, one
where children learned how to perform magic that they couldnt use during
the day. During night school I could do things that would astound me,
feats that left me astonished that I couldnt perform all the time. I seem to
remember those secret lessons as being a chance to discover yourself and
what you could do rather than just receiving facts and information. There
was something about this learning environment that made you hungry to
learn instead of needing the endurance to apply yourself.
When the memories of these nocturnal lessons finally resurfaced, I dont
remember being taken aback by the revelation. I think its because I referred
to them with the same frame of mind I had as a ten year old boy, All
children attend these special night classes...dont they? I was also under the
impression that this procedure went back hundreds of years like our Masonic
rituals. As always, I tried to rationalise my thoughts of the events and did my
best to compose a structured pattern as to what actually went on. My
information told a very interesting but disjointed story.
Like so many of my nocturnal jaunts as a child, I remember first being
fetched by someone. These were the mysterious doll-like beings that I once
termed the night children. I instinctively knew when I would have an
98
encounter with my artificial looking escorts as there were sensations in the
room and in myself that led to their appearance. When they arrived they
were always there to take me somewhere. Sometimes that was in an abstract
flying craft to an unknown terrain being either a volcanic area or a desert
somewhere and other times it was the night school. I never recall where
the night school actually was or even entering any particular building to get
there, it was more a case of appearing. When inside, I remember it being like
a long hall with no particular features, just grey walls and the familiar
source-less light. I sat there amongst other children (children I seemed to
know) at rows of tables arranged neatly facing the front of a classroom.
There would always be a tutor at the front and sometimes a couple of others
who aided them as co-tutors. I remember having different teachers both male
and female but I cannot recall anything individual about them that would
allow me to remember them the way we do teachers. This was because they
masked themselves very much like the robed beings. They dressed similarly
to the hooded monks Ive come across and I believe they covered their
faces for similar reasons--so they wouldnt frighten us. Because of this I
wonder how I ever deciphered male from female in those robes.
Around the age of ten I remembered thinking how interesting those Catholic
schools were, the ones that had monks as teachers whom the pupils
addressed as brothers. It wasnt so much envy that I had about these
schools, it was more to do with the impression I had of robed monks being
mystical beings with centuries of wisdom to pass down to pupils. These
impressions proved to be misleading in the real world. Monks were simply
monks, men who have studied and taught religion but the robed beings I had
encountered were in fact brilliant and being taught by them would have
made students that way too. I dont remember being in the night school long
enough to have ever acquired that brilliance as I only recall a brief term
there, but the presence of these teachers seemed awesome.
Not being able to properly see their faces made estimating their age also a
difficult task but I imagine that they had seen far more years than the
average human pensioner. I also imagine that this age had allowed their
minds to reach a potential that the human mind never lives long enough to
fulfil. That wisdom came across in the most intuitive way and I can now see
where my early opinion of Catholic schools and their brothers came from.
There were so many children I remember seeing in those classes and I
suspect their reasons for being there were as individual as mine. I seem to
recall having strange looking children in the class whom I avoided. I secretly
99
termed these peers the wolf children because of something about their faces
being that bit darker as if obscured by fur or whatever. They were strange
and I remember being a touch nervous of them at all times. There was never
any problem with these children or any pupils because the lessons were
conducted in an unnaturally cordial manner, an oddity for a class of pre-teen
children. It was I believe conducted hypnotically with the pupils minds
engaged so that normal ten-year old behaviour was discharged right from the
beginning.
I also remember the transfer of information being effectively delivered and
not oral which doesnt really surprise me now considering things. Looking
back, I think different messages were delivered to different pupils and
maybe the other two co-tutors of the class assisted in that. My messages I
believe were the telepathic dramas encountered on many other occasions
where things were taught by demonstration. Scenes and information were
transferred the way I had learned to become familiar with from an early age
and I believe this familiarity became a prime reason for contact. Perhaps I
had been selected mainly because of an interactive reason. It seems that
these beings can use telepathy on anyone but not everybody can adapt to
their psycho-dramatic programming. I always had a knack for interpreting
messages by gesture and often read into emotions very easily. So often the
messages conveyed through the alien mind scenario really meant something
to me. This impression alone is one of intuition.
At the time, however, I found their scenarios and mind games totally
obscure and so many times I would protest unreservedly that I didnt
understand. Their reply was always the same; I was repeatedly told
something to the effect of In time you will understand. Perhaps now
during the recall of these strange memories was the time of which they
spoke.
I wasnt alone in experiencing these scenes because I remember a few of the
other children from the class accompanying me. About 3 to 5 of us would
often be taken somewhere (suddenly appearing there) and observe the most
fantastic and lucid three-dimensional scenes. Often the scenes themselves
showed incidents that would not register in the minds of ten year olds but
when I think back to them, they could have been scenes from another world
or other times where things are unexplainably different. The scenes were
jumbled, but I will try to relay them in a coherent way from the eyes of the
same ten year old:
I witnessed different realms and terrains, some of them earthly, some of
100
them alien. One of them that sticks out in my mind was of a strange albino
race, stocky oriental people with striking white hair and eyebrows. Wherever
this place was, it was bustling with these people and I recall them appearing
friendly, acknowledging that I was there. As always I could appear
anywhere I wanted and view the scene from all angles but whatever view I
chose, these beings knew of my presence. I couldnt recognise their abode
but it was a bustling and commercial town or city where everyone was
industrious. They were all dressed differently but none of their clothing
seemed to resemble anything from our time. At a guess I would have likened
their outfits to smarter looking overalls with what looked like attachments
draping from the collars and sleeves. The most noticeable aspect of this
place was the people with their white hair, as there isnt a race in our world
that looks exactly that way. If you were to select a well-built Chinese person,
and bleach their hair and eyebrows, they would appear as this race did.
I have no real understanding of why I was ever sent to this place or what I
had to do there but I suspect the stay was very brief. Looking back, it was
perhaps one of those lessons in exposure where one has to become initiated
or familiarised with other worlds or cultures. The oriental albinos could have
been our tomorrow people. Perhaps Ill never know.
Another scene I recall being whisked off to that could have represented a
future or even parallel existence was one of a huge outdoor festival
somewhere. I remember being shown hoards of people gathered in a field
partaking in different events like a garden fete. The people themselves
looked normal and dressed no different to our era but there was another race
amongst them that closely resembled apes. These were beings that actually
talked, walked on two legs, and appeared quite articulate. If someone had
described this to me, I would have immediately thought of the Planet of the
Apes but it wasnt really like that. This race looked and moved far closer to
actual apes than Roddy McDowalls character and didnt wear clothes like
the films, just their natural fur. They intermingled with the humans quite
freely but I had the impression they acted as servants or assistants to them. It
seemed clear that these were second-class albeit respected citizens of this
society and as soon as I recalled the scene I thought about our research into
the evolutionary scale. Perhaps these were the next in line to evolve from
apes the way we were said to have done thousands of years ago. Although I
cannot say these beings resembled Neanderthals either. Perhaps somewhere
along the line we will do something to boost the development of our closest
species (chimpanzees?) allowing them to become humanised. Other than
that, it might have happened on its own accord and what I witnessed was the
101
early development. Had I seen the futuristic changes of man and beast?
If it was the future I was seeing during those hidden school lessons then I
must have at least glimpsed the technology of tomorrow. Over two decades
have passed since I attended that bizarre school and some of the things I
remember seeing have certainly not come about yet. I remember seeing
aeroplanes in the sky that quadrupled the size of our own and appeared to
have twin bodies. Where we have two wings attached to the plane there
were two huge carriages side by side that would have contained far more
than the average jumbo jet. The wings seemed to effortlessly support these
twin carriages and strangely not a sound was made as it flew.
I remember seeing a peculiar steel substance like quicksilver that would
mould into any given shape and saw that there were machines made of it,
too. I understood it was like an organic steel that could be grown into things
governed by a type of technological gene to determine its shape and
function. When I think back to other events, I seem to recall biological
machines. When I try to recollect being inside that amber craft in 94 which
in itself was like a mutating cell, I had a feeling that everything around me
was not just technologically sophisticated but biological. The only existing
machinery we can relate this to is perhaps the physical brain or maybe the
complex alterations of a rain forest.
Now that Ive seen these things it makes me wonder when the new
breakthrough in science will take place. There have been breakthroughs in
genetic science where animal clones can been created but I often wonder
when and where this science will border onto the domain of the microchip
and complex machines can be built biologically. Personally, I hope were a
long way off. I feel that when discovered, something hideous could come
about on which only the highly developed and humane minds of an age far
from now should deserve to work. The possible techno-gene in the hands
of the primitive doesnt bear thinking about. Although I believe that
biological machines are something that will come about.
So many impressions and opinions that I have harboured over the years
seem to have stemmed from my attendance at that strange school. Where
else would a boy of ten reared in the television age acquire the taste for stage
magic, a visual art long forgotten through TV culture? I often felt I had an
education coming from elsewhere and perhaps most of my strange ideas
about the world during adolescence reflected that. Bizarre theories poured
out into my schoolwork from that age where I could conjure up ideas
straight from left field, leaving myself curious and the teachers bemused.
102
Around the age of 11 I remember writing an unusual essay when asked to
write a piece for homework about how the future might be. I came up with
an idea about a worldwide network that defended the earth from invasion
(this was before I knew about President Reagans Star Wars project). Not
only did this network defend the earth but it could locate all living entities
within the planet by picking up on their psyche to monitor their well-being
and safety. Basically it was a worldwide x-ray able to penetrate through any
matter in order to home in on anyones energy field anywhere. At that age I
didnt necessarily use terms like psyche or know much about peoples
energy fields but I described what I had in mind aptly for a boy of 10. I
remember calling this network the God Ray as it was like a computerised
mind that protected all its people with the presence to observe all, much like
the idea of God. Today I would have translated this story more scientifically,
but at the time my only references were religious or magical. Like so many
of my ideas, the essay wasnt even brought up by the teachers as they were
becoming wise to my odd theories. I hadnt thought about that essay or the
God Ray in years, but recently a memory cropped up that put it back under
the magnifying glass.
Something happened during my term spent at the strange school that made
me realise where this God Ray originated. I seem to remember being taken
by one of the hooded teachers to view something, something I wasnt to
remember. I saw an image of the Earth from space, something I had seen on
numerous occasions but completely forgotten about. On this occasion the
whole planet was enveloped in something like a slight transparent field
consistent over both hemispheres. Once again I had the dual vision where I
could see the Earth with or without the field depending on which view I
chose. The option to see it with the field was a deliberate move by the
teacher to allow me to see its sheer vastness. I could even hear voices or
thoughts of the planets inhabitants, sounding like an orchestra, all
expressing their collective joy and gratitude that this protection existed. I
suspect the image and voices were induced rather than my witnessing
anything real because I know how these alien masters of illusion can
beguile. Whatever the scenario was, it left an immediate impression in me
about the human need for a god of some kind to overlook and account for
each of its billions. This, however, was not a god but a high-tech contraption
that seemed to convey another message about the importance of
sophistication and how it should benevolently serve mankind.
I even had the impression that the field didnt just home in on living psyche
but also had a purpose for picking up spiritual energies, perhaps even for an
103
afterlife. This brought home to me the opinion that spiritual matters werent
just the domain of religion but had a huge place also in scientific
development. I have always been interested in the area where religion and
science cross, thinking that there will be a time when the two work as one.
This could well have been an actual scenario of the future where we are
governed this way with the help of alien intervention. I have always
imagined that technology and spirituality in the alien realm is actually the
same.
Because of this insistence for amnesia following an alien manoeuvre I was
never allowed to use their education once I had received it. The God Ray
was just another unaccounted fixation in a young mind that had to wait years
before the idea was given some substance. I remember that when this
memory broke through I tried in vain to find that old school essay from the
small collection of schoolwork that I actually kept. Nothing could be found
and I certainly wouldnt have kept anything from the mysterious night
school. From memory I can recall a few of the points made in that essay but
it was only a vague outline of something I believe came from my
imagination. Its purpose was similar to the existing Strategic Defence
Initiative, to defend against enemy invasion (even if that enemy happens to
be outer space) by the way of a force-field instead of satellites. It waves
could pick up human aura anywhere in the world and also recognise
discarnate auras as if to rescue lost souls. I think that was the gist of it,
imaginative stuff for an eleven to twelve year old. If anything like the God
Ray comes into existence, it certainly wont be in my lifetime. I hope that
maybe my words of it here are immortal.
There are certain traits from my experiences in the night school that have
taught me much about the aliens existence. In order to understand this realm
I call the Otherness, it is important to consider an existence known as
Omnipotence. So far I have experienced things such as dual vision,
simultaneous time, and states of being that allow the bigger picture to truly
be seen. All of this points to a different way of existing and a transition to
something very much like omnipotence. When I experienced the induced
scenarios, I felt the ability to acknowledge and observe everything in the
scene from any vantage point I chose. To put it another way, I felt like the
all-encompassing entity with the ultimate overview similar to my childhood
figment--the God Ray. This meant I could see not only different angles of
the scene but the viewpoints of those partaking in it, almost as if their
emotions and experiences were mine. This overview even allowed me the
timeless zone perspective where I could see all at once like a birds-eye
104
view of past, present and future. I could describe this as a multi-viewed,
multi-experienced and multi-timed overlords perspective that understood
the scene like no other. You can immediately compare this state as being a
god-like entity with an omni-consciousness and this brings me to the
comparison of the spirit.
I think that when we die, we transform over to omnipotence and have the
ability to dwell in a number of places rather than just physically exist in one.
This is perhaps what is happening when we experience the haunting of a
place where the spirit doesnt seem to acknowledge that it is dead and exists
only in a time warp of the way it previously lived. There are often cases
where a spirit seems unable to conceive the time passed since dying and
behaves in a strange multi-conscious way, existing in inanimate objects
(often walls) with the tendency to replay events from the past. Historical
armies have been seen re-enacting famous battles from the past without an
inkling that they were slain hundreds of years beforehand. Even apparitions
of inanimate objects such as their guns and artillery are seen, which suggests
the possibility of a replayed time warp rather than conscious spirits of the
dead.
The point I want to raise here about omnipotence is that of dwelling and
the ability to exist at a number of levels or even in different times. Its
possible that our consciousness radically changes when passing over to the
other side where we achieve our dwelling or god-like status and can see the
overlords picture of life and the universe. When you try to think of the
afterlife in an earthly sense using our physical laws and consider it spent for
eternity in a realm with everyone who has ever died and endless more that
will, then paradise must in itself seem purgatory! Consciousness would have
to transform tremendously for the afterlife to be imaginable.
There is evidence for this transformation because the messages that are
supposed to be heard from deceased entities during sances often sound as
though they come from another consciousness. So many of the supposed
dead have been known to relay messages that seem incompatible with those
contacting them and other spirits who are preoccupied with things that
wouldnt normally be of interest to the dead. I remember reading of
incidents where entities have expressed odd things like a sexual interest in
those summoning them or an interest in things of importance during their
lives. A communication problem is experienced during these sessions and
perhaps that points to a shift in consciousness. Instead of achieving an earth-
like conscious interaction with an entity, the person on this side will be
baffled by the irrelevance or banality of the liaison almost as if they were
105
talking to someone in their sleep. On this side of reality, for instance, we
desperately want to learn of what actually happens after we die and perhaps
on that side they might want to know why a particular horse won the derby
when they lived.
That I believe is the incompatibility of entities whether they are departed
humans or extraterrestrials. It seems to be when they transmute over to this
side their behaviour becomes absurd. Visiting aliens have been known to do
obscure things like steal childrens toys and return them days later! I have
come across this high strangeness which sometimes leaves me wondering if
my memory is at fault, but then I have to reserve the possibility that the
child in the night schools perspective will be different. Although after
reading so many similar accounts from people who unlike myself have
acquired the clarity of hypnosis that often relay both the ridiculous and
cryptic, I cant really refute the theory of absurd ETs. From their reality
looking out, perhaps ours is incompatible?
It isnt so much the misunderstanding of earth culture by aliens, its probably
the contrast in consciousness particularly if they are looking at our existence
from the domain of omnipotence. The contrast in reality is I think where
high strangeness and communication problems come from. Trying to
imagine this contrast is like considering two submarines trying to make
communication from different frequencies underwater. The rare
transmission picked up can only be expected to be poor. Transition (humans
becoming astral) also shows the teething problems of incompatibility.
I cannot forget for instance that night of the ceremony where I had been
collected by such an unusual car. It was as if it came from a past that we
never actually had. I remember experiencing all the high tech features such
as an engine that never ignited and a soundless journey as if the car was
hovering yet inside could not have been more removed. The interior
resembled something I estimated came from the fifties! When applying a
closer examination to incidents like these, the more imaginative investigator
might come across a consistency in the inconsistencies that could explain so
many peculiarities ranging from the mysterious Men in Black of UFOlogy
to the strange habits of extraterrestrials supposedly living amongst us.
There were and still are memories resurfacing from my time in that strange
school that I believe taught me things such as my experience of
omnipotence. I seemed to have been taught how to experience this state of
being and seeded with the knowledge of how it might work. As always, that
knowledge comes to me in slow acting doses leaving me even more
106
confused upon arrival. These days I no longer question the source of my
knowledge now that I am aware of my short term spent at the night school.
The knowledge I normally have of the world reminds me how the living can
also be plunged into different planes of consciousness where time is absent
such as in meditation or some drug induced states. Personally I have
experienced neither but the suspicion I have of these states being the
preserve of the departed is an impression firmly seeded into me at an early
age. I seemed to have had ideas about the dead and ethereality quite early
on, most probably from that school but the way I believe I was taught these
things came from demonstration. I had been allowed to experience dual
vision and simultaneous time from the experiencers point of view by
becoming them for a short while. There is no better teacher than experience
and in my case it had conveyed things that words couldnt. This futuristic
educating technique had given me ideas about the world, some that proved
to cause hardship at times and others that became the bases for some
intriguing theories.
I have learned that death isnt the final veil but the first platform for a series
of transitions. The first of these transitions are what so many experience
during out of body/near death experiences. Many people claim to have left
their physical bodies only to inhabit another, exactly the same, but astral.
This body has a duplicate of all the physical features of the first--arms, legs
etc but can perform the most outstanding feats such as flying or walking
through walls. I remember being in this state a number of times and
remember feeling humanoid in shape but I am convinced this isnt the final
form. It is an in-between state that allows the soul to explore and we often
hear of secret personnel adopting this form for psychic espionage when
carrying out astral projection. Perhaps this form is used for helping the
deceased to acclimatise to the spirit world after dying because I am sure that,
like something reptilian, this form sheds its skin to transform to yet another
which isnt humanoid. Not all near death experiences (NDEs) report being
physically the same when passing over, some have been reported to be
spherical in shape while others insist they were just an energy field.
This in-between state that borrows most of the bodys characteristics is as
far as I have ventured into the other side although I could be wrong. The
multi-visioned and omnipotent experiences I recall during those scenarios
were very much like being a dwelling entity of some kind and I dont
remember leaving my body. Sometimes it might even be a transition where
the actual body becomes astral because even during the strange nightly
jaunts of my childhood, I dont remember actually leaving a body. That
107
night in the park which I have labelled as a classic UFO abduction, I only
remember my body becoming unusually light rather than it actually leaving
anything. My figure seemed to have become specially moulded to suit the
task ahead where I would pass through that portal in the cell-like crafts
underside just like tissue getting sucked into a vacuum cleaner.
The strange domain of the Otherness which I grew up with and often found
myself plunged into the heart of is a spiritual and quantum level of higher
vibration and lower density that has proved to accommodate the physical
and help it adapt. I dont even have the grasp of science to begin to explain
how that works but in the words of physicist and paranormal investigator Sir
William Crookes, I didnt say it was possible, I just said it happened.
The popular theory seems to be that if other dimensions did exist and
humans had the ability to travel there, the physical frame would perish as
soon as it arrived much the same way if we went outside Earths atmosphere
in our flesh. The molecular make-up of the physical is said to vibrate at light
speed and should we exceed that speed, its surmised that our bodys atomic
structure would rearrange, horribly so. To reach that speed and travel to this
new dimension, we would first have to rearrange ourselves that way and that
is exactly what I believe alien entities did to me. Without resorting to an out-
of-body form, a form we can use to access an infinity of realms, my physical
was altered so that I could access their world and that is ultimately what I
believe alien entities to be- the physical travellers of the spirit world.
Its also believed that if they can access our reality this way but we cant get
to theirs, they must be depressingly superior to us in terms of sophistication.
I strongly suspect this is what they want us to believe in order to prevent
mankind getting any nearer to their abode. Remember how deception seems
to be a tool used to protect their aloofness and discourage anyone from
getting close. It was after all the purpose for one of their pseudo-dramatic
scenes imposed on me to steer my interests away from their existence the
busy street scene with the ghostly images in and around it. Our world is
immaterial, you cannot access it, look to other things That fuzzy message
impressed upon me the perfect disincentive for wanting to investigate their
agenda further.
Looking closer at what it is they try to hide, one begins to get an idea that
they may not be as distantly ahead as it appears. Scientists and paranormal
investigators are getting the gist that quantum physics might be the secret
behind their elusiveness and judging by the slip-ups occasionally made due
to this transitional incompatibility I spoke of, perhaps they arent totally
108
infallible either. Consider how this incompatibility makes them seem quite
novice at times and their interactions an embarrassment. Perhaps even after
50 years or so, alien beings are still fumbling to find their way in our world
like astronauts warily probing a new planet. I agree that they must be
technologically advanced to a point, but in terms of interaction, we may
appear as equally mysterious and disconcerting. Consider how many times
humans have been said to have approached odd looking beings amidst their
strange activity and upon the horror of realising that theyre not human, the
beings are said to react with equal horror and flee back to a nearby craft for
takeoff! Also, look at the bungled attempts of alien abduction where the
victims are said to have remembered everything and even managed to
recover implants for inspection. My own sudden memory of the school
medical room incident was just another of the hundreds of slip-ups coming
to attention that point to covert involvement going on worldwide. I wasnt
supposed to know what was happening. The beings couldnt have
demonstrated that more convincingly.
These slip-ups and their desperate rectification point at something to our
advantage and I think that we as humans deserve to exploit it. Now that a
flaw can be seen in their imperviousness, abductees and other victims of the
paranormal ought to open it for as much information as possible. This brings
me to the work of Derrel Sims also known as the alien hunter who is famous
in the U.S. for his research into the study of alien implants and the opinion
of being able to fight back. His work is viewed as controversial, but it
does at least get down to the brass tacks of the alien threat and its
fallibilities. It also takes away the inaccessibility of all things paranormal
and explodes the taboo around these subjects even when they border on
religion. This is basically the motive behind the formation of CE5, my now
defunct study group--to get behind the mystery of these things and remove
their appearance of distance. I believe that once uncovered, the unknown
will remain known forever and I would recommend the work of the alien
hunter to anyone exposed to the much avoided reality of the paranormal. It
wouldnt just be for popularising the work and beliefs of Derrel Sims
himself by fighting back it would instead enable victims to exploit the
information of the alien agenda.
By trying to chronicle everything thats happened to me I am indeed milking
that gap for as much information as it manages to leak. I made a concrete
decision some time ago to try to compile all the disjointed information from
scratch. It was a choice for personal empowerment, an option that I believe
paranormal intelligences really didnt want me to explore. The preferred and
109
easy way would have been for me to ignore everything as an involuntary
fantasy and continue with my life as complacently as I had done so far. For
about three docile years or more, doubts and crippled motivation had been
responsible for this irrational denial of things that had blatantly manifested
themselves to me by accident. My further investigation into those things
revealed memories that clearly werent accidents. These had to be compiled
regardless of the negative influence left in me by the Programmers and it
wasnt until sometime towards the end of 1999 that I decided to begin this.
The strangest year for me was 1996. It began with a life altering revelation
and the departure of an old friend to which I had been hypnotically attached.
Instead of putting pen to paper right away to record all I remembered, I was
instead left in an absolute daze about what I had been involved in. Take into
account that the only memories with me were of the ceremony and the
psychic UFO event in the park. My period of open-mouthed astonishment
made that year pass quickly, which makes me look upon this dazed feeling
as the beginning of an induced spell. As months went on, memories were
glowing through the haze making me realise how involved I actually was
with the ethereality. I couldnt document it because everything seemed so
unreal and badly sequenced. The years 1997, 1998 and 1999 were a kind of
imbibing period where I slowly drank in information while being thickly
amidst a strange spell. I couldnt snap out of it and was diagnosed to be
suffering from an obscure depression around that time. My feelings were of
chronic lethargy and being preoccupied with obscure things, making
concentration impossible. I was unable to hold down a job and first applied
for a disability benefit in early 97. I remembered having so much
information that I wanted to share, but conditions prevented me from
articulating it correctly.
There is a lot to be said for experiencing a spell and I had started to realise
what casting a spell entails. This feeling I went through wasnt necessarily
one of suffering, it was more like I had been tranquillised or deliberately
subdued for my own safety. All my emotional and cognitive tendencies
seemed to be especially altered to allow for the gradual information
deposits and my reactions to them. The spell itself was a cleverly operated
contrivance of something left in my mind that still feeds information to this
day. I believe that spell wore off sometime towards the end of 1999, when I
found the capacity to deal with the bizarre information.
So far, I had a wealth of memories that didnt belong, consisting of an astral
abduction, performance of magic, strange terrains, future science and a
childhood school that wasnt even my own. I seemed to be able to put that
110
information together to form some coherent pattern or reference to
something but it wasnt easy. When that spell wore off, it seemed to have
been activated by something and I believe that was my acknowledgement
the night school. When I recalled that school and why I attended, the 3-
year spell seemed to have miraculously lifted. I still dont know what the
significance of that was, as it appeared symbolic of something to do with
maturity or passing over. Now that I knew about the secret education,
perhaps I had reached a level of trust or become mature enough to deal with
it.
So much was still disjointed and I wanted a way of broadcasting this
information purely to see how familiar it would be in the outside world. My
first move perhaps wasnt a wise one in terms of broadcast but it allowed me
a chance to concisely document my story and remain anonymous. I chose to
compile it all onto a web page which I felt would provide me with the
immediate empowerment I desired. Telling my story on the Internet seemed
an ideal choice.
The launch of the Internet took off in a big way and came to our shores
commercially towards the end of 94. It was something I was immediately
drawn to and went in for 100% even though I only had a passing interest in
computers. Its interesting how the Internet and its functions naturally
appealed to those with secret lives. I immediately saw this as a medium to
tell my story.
I remember typing out an outlined narration about what I believed happened
to me from my first out-of-place memory to the night of the ceremony.
Because I knew this work would be anonymous, I didnt hold back on
anything and felt free to tell the story like it was. I later played around with
my illustrative skills and designed a background for the text together with a
few pictures and a contact e-mail. I felt that something promising would be
on the web soon. My finished web page was an essay on a mysterious silver
backdrop just to look new-age. At first it seemed rather long for an
introductory web page but it accurately told my entire story condensed. On
the other hand, maybe it was short for a lifetimes series of events. I wasted
no time in uploading it and realised how rewarding online authoring could
be. Here was my very own story and I had advertised it also on a few
message boards from similar paranormal web sites.
The whole purpose for uploading my story this way was for it to act as bait
for someone professional out there who might actually recognise what my
experiences were. I was ideally hoping that a specialist in the field of
111
paranormal studies would see my work and reply with something to the
effect of ah yes, the beings you describe were in fact... Maybe I could
contact those with similar experiences to glean information. I would acquire
some answers without revealing who I actually was. Being relatively new to
the Internet, there was always that disturbing notion in the back of my mind
that a whiz hacker somewhere could break through my email anonymity and
know who I was. Not that my story would have had any importance to
anyone at this stage, it was more a case of the same old embarrassment.
The first mistake someone makes when launching their own web material
for the first time is thinking that their site will be seen by the world.
Potentially thats true, but people forget there are already a zillion or so
similar sites for viewing that make a web page appear like a page from
one book of thousands in a central library! The paranormal was a hot topic
on the Internet and there was untold material along with mine. Nevertheless
I was eager to see that if thousands could read it, one of them just one might
be the person who could shed light on my mystery.
I allowed the page to be up there for a few months while I went about my
daily activities still feeling the tail end of being trance-like. In this time the
response I received from my disclosed email proved to be very poor.
Perhaps I should have used a visitors facility to register how much traffic
actually came to the page but I had no knowledge of those tools then. The
ones that bothered to respond by email were not the sort of people I had
hoped to connect with anyway. The replies were few and far between asking
the occasional banality like what planet the aliens came from and how I
should first get in touch with my inner self. Following that there were the
volley of infuriating sales adverts asking to place their banners on my site,
the kind which cause delete keys to lodge. Unless I advertised my site right
under someones nose, there world almost be no replies of a non-commercial
nature.
This was no terrible disappointment because I at least embarked on my first
attempt to write about these experiences and given that they were not
unpleasant, it wasnt a difficult task. The benefit of this was that I was now
able to see the pattern of where my life had gone with interaction and the
ludicrousness wasnt as ludicrous once I saw it in writing. I realised it
simply told the story of a person experiencing something outside their
normal sphere of activity and daring to define it. I kept the written work I
had made but finally withdrew the web page after having it on-line for the
few non-productive months.
112
Months had passed and I began to realise that what I had written had holes
in it. This wasnt because my story was just an outline, it was because I
realised so many other things had taken place that I was just starting to
remember. Memories of events were continuing to surface and it felt that so
much of what I put together needed rewriting. Some of the hazy events that I
knew about were starting to get properly explained while others seemed
totally new! This was the beginning of a confusing period of falsehoods and
rewrites. It felt like I was regularly coming across these peepholes that
enabled me to see things that bit clearer and each time I did, things needed to
be added or altered. I cannot say when I will see the ultimate picture because
those peephole memories still resurface. What I can say is that towards the
end of 1999, my strange spell of obliviousness wore off and the picture
seemed more reliable than it had ever been.
My most recent revelation, the night school was perhaps the ultimate
bombshell that turned everything my essay told upside down. All that had
happened during my personal history of interaction and the beliefs that I
insist stemmed from it had to be reconsidered. It seemed that what I had
learned during that secret education of my childhood was the cornerstone for
so many of the ideas I had about the world. The monk magicians, the magic
they performed and the way they taught through demonstrative interaction
didnt truly occur to me until the autumn of 99, years after the secret
schooling actually took place. I remember feeling awestruck by this memory
and making a definite pledge to write more than just an essay. That autumn
felt like a re-awakening for me because the spell of sluggishness was going
and I believed at the time that a total recall of memory was looming. The
spell and how it was ever cast remains a mystery but my assumption of the
total recall was incorrect. The total recall is something that still slowly
unfolds but maybe that particular time was a breakthrough. I felt a sudden
clearing in my life and wanted to write.
The end of 99 signified a special turning point. Added to all the millennial
build up and the new century ahead came the lifting of a personal fog that
had been clouding me for over three years. I suddenly felt collective and
vibrant as though a deliberate restraint on my psyche had finally decided to
let go. It was the long-awaited permission to write and I knew exactly how I
was going to go about it. Millennium Night, as it will be remembered for
decades, wasnt particularly memorable for me celebratory-wise but I will
never forget my new years resolution that night. I was going to write a book
titled The Otherness that would tell the true story of my lifes interaction
with a ghostly and alien environment. The Otherness pretty much summed
113
up that environment because it was a landscape of strangeness that I had
been plunging into since childhood, one that had alien characteristics and
proved to be not just an otherness of reality but of my consciousness. I didnt
hesitate with the title as it was so fitting of everything that happened. My
new years resolution was made and clearly devised that night.
Year 2000 always sounded futuristic and even years before this date there
would be the unsurprising millennial prophets who foretold the changes both
calamitous and utopian for that year. In the back of my mind I had hoped
that the high strangeness secretly happening in my life and untold others
world finally reveal itself worldwide in a major prophetic revelation.
Nothing could have been more mundanely unlike that. Jesus never made his
staggering second coming and the doomsday asteroid was nowhere to be
seen, and by the same token nothing was properly revealed about the secret
life I had led. There were the fragments of memory resurfacing about things
I didnt quite understand but there was nothing and still is nothing in the way
of a revisit from the Programmer friends.
What I did was write about all that I remembered and even now as I write,
after pages of reflective content I still feel there is a problem in terms of
volume. There really wasnt enough that happened in my life to truly justify
a book and being in my early 30s I feel that maybe my saga is far from over.
The total recall wont be complete until a much, much later stage. I already
feel that I have perhaps told my story at a premature time in life and maybe
my fifty-year old self will offer a better one. Perhaps by that time there could
have been this revisit from my interactors and perhaps the world might even
be better equipped paranormally to deal with such a tale. Nevertheless I have
conveyed the essential theme of whats happened so far and fleshed that out
the best I could my theories. In terms of actual happenings, my entire saga
could be written in a few pages but I think its fairer to offer more. In order
to convey such peculiarity it really needs to be accompanied by some form
of sober diagnosis even if that diagnosis it is just based on opinion.
The story I am trying to tell is not an easy one, given that I am writing from
the perception of another reality and an ever-growing memory recall.
However, I believe in telling it like it is and it can come straight from
leftfield. I could only write from my own sane interpretation and that wasnt
a problem apart from the disjointedness of the facts and the incompleteness.
I had taken to writing as soon as I attempted to be both honest and
explanatory in delivering this saga.
I also have to accept that what I have written is not necessarily the final
114
word on my experiences. It was only recently, after writing over 80 pages
that another of those dj vu type revelations came to me that I struggled to
put together. It was as late as March 2001 (the latest of my recalls to date)
that something occurred to me about the usual subjects of science and
folklore. In the memory, I remember seeing things that resembled
photographs or pictures that could be operated interactively. These pictures
were upon flat paper just like photos only the images moved quite clearly as
if seeing them on a TV screen. Whatever image I chose to home in on in the
picture would suddenly zoom in and reveal detail. For instance I briefly
remember seeing a picture of some soldiers in what looked like a war scene
and when I wanted to get a better view of one of the soldiers, a kind of zoom
lens homed in to him only to reveal that these troops were not even human.
That war picture was the only photo I actually remember amongst the ones I
had been given but it was a striking memory. The photos immediately
reminded me of the peculiar viewing device I had been given in the incident
of the school medical room where it was holographic, interactive and
dependent on movement.
I didnt manage to catch any further detail of the photos memory but I
remember another which showed a ceremony of some kind involving pixies.
I think this memory came from a trigger when reading something about the
Shakespeare play A Midsummer Nights Dream. There was something about
the pointed hats worn by the elves or whatever they were attending the
classic ceremony that immediately reminded me of something I had seen
before. I distinctly remember something from my past either partaking or
watching an outdoor woodland ceremony that definitely involved smaller
beings like pixies wearing hats similar to that which I read about. Pointed
hats are immensely significant to something both in folklore and paranormal
science only I cannot remember exactly what. It could be something
traditionally regimental or even practical, but the way in which these
memories materialise, Im convinced there will come a time where I will
have the answer.
Rather than furiously try to slot these new recollections into what I had
already written, I decided to add them as they occurred. It will demonstrate
how difficult sequence can be in the occurrence of an ethereality. Perhaps I
will never stop writing until the day of total recall, a day a long while from
now.
It is mid April of 2001 and as I bring this saga to a close I cannot believe
how many questions remain unanswered. All of my life I have been involved
in something of staggering complexity and for the last 5 years that
115
something mysteriously vanished. What should this do to an avowed sane
human being without any original briefing of what the paranormal actually
was? The truth is that nobody is ever really ready for when the bolt from the
other side first strikes. It could be something that is meticulously planned
right from the start off by a paranormal intelligence and nothing we learn
truly prepares us for it. I have a personal quote for this impact: Nothing
prepares you for anything alien other than something alien.
My unprepared plunge into the paranormal had never left me traumatised or
even distressed, but it does seem to have left its mark on me in some
intangible way. My cognition and movements appear different and lack the
fluidity that other peoples seem to have. I always feel an excess of nervous
energy causing my movements to appear as jolts, something that scares the
life out of horses! Also if there is such thing as IQ or at least a learning
capacity then it is nowhere near the way it once was, the time when my
interactors decided I needed to look elsewhere for inspiration. I cannot seem
to pick up from the time during that academic flutter I experienced after my
experience in the park late 1994. Concentration is more of a problem these
days, and I feel that the spell I had been put under left a lasting side effect
that hinders my ability to gather and coordinate thoughts. This has proved to
be a problem both in the workplace and in study, but I am assuming that this
restrictive barrier is only the residue of a spell once cast and perhaps a
motivated concentration is the way to break through it. My choice to write is
perhaps a wise one.
Other effects left over from my experiences appear to be psychic in nature
although very unrefined. There are still times when I find my presence
affects electrical objects such as the radio or TV and that light objects are
occasionally magnetised to me, all feats that I fail miserably to conjure
deliberately. I also seem to have an intuition of people and their emotions by
mutually experiencing part of their psyche and sometimes their dreams.
Understandably this could put pressure on both myself close family or in a
worse scenario cause me to become a likely volunteer or psychic lab rat for
the fanatics that are sometimes drawn to this science. I dont want this to
happen, but more importantly I desperately need to protect myself from the
things that disclosing such claims can cause. I need anonymity and therefore
certain details and facts in this story have been altered to protect my identity.
My name is not well known and will suffice if it guarantees the safety of my
own immediate sphere of affairs and those closest to me. Those people are
not even aware of my double life.
116
The beauty of my story is that it cannot endanger anybodys lives or their
careers. Interaction is a very personal thing that doesnt often go beyond the
person involved and I can assure that my identity is irrelevant. I am neither a
scientist nor government official and I doubt I am known that well beyond
my street.
I seek to avoid the personal disruption that even a short burst of publicity
sometimes causes. On the other hand I desperately want to relay my story
and my purpose for writing is primarily to touch upon a familiar note with
those who know what Im talking about. I need to establish that it isnt just a
subjective illusion that needs avoiding. The things that I once came across
are perennial and have been secretly known about by our ancestors.
However, I feel I will be relatively safe because the majority of people will
not believe a single word I have said. That is fine because in a way I really
cant blame them. The interactive side of the paranormal puts the
experiencer in a very difficult position leaving them as I am without a single
shred of evidence or a witness to support the claims. That of course will
motivate the sceptics and sadly leave the genuine subjects frustrated by their
absence of evidential legs. Although I sympathise profusely with this
frustration and would champion it 100%, I really dont feel that way
personally. My only request to those who dont believe me is this: just
consider where it actually is that these experiences are supposed to have
happened. Have they ever taken place in the reality you know? Can you
bring back a sample from a bizarre dream or sudden dj vu to prove that it
actually happened?
Whatever power of convincing it takes to win over the overwhelming factor
of doubt isnt something I can afford to waste my energy on. Even though I
understand the doubts coming from the majority, I havent written this book
to try to win them over in any way. My aim is to strike a chord with the
small minority that this has happened to and to establish with them that these
things are real. Only then will the esoteric things I describe get the
investigation for which they are waiting.
I want the traditions of folklore and religion to be looked into with the same
seriousness that science has and for all the areas of the paranormal to be
examined alongside it. It will mean getting closer to the things that we
consider taboo, which is more or less what my old study group aimed to do
by getting that bit closer. The phenomena that I have experienced suggest
much about an afterlife and often hint at the mysticism of religion. The
sacrilege behind these subjects shouldnt bar them from getting the same
117
scrutiny that UFOs do because I feel that one day the discovery of all these
things will have been made. Feeding from the tree of life for knowledge will
not be seen as a temptation by serpents forever and if the secret of the
universe and the afterlife wont get unveiled in our lifetime, then it might be
in our childrens.
I, for one, would like to see these discoveries made, not just for an
explanation into my own experiences but for the unity of both science and
spirituality. As humans we will always find ourselves clawing at the
boundaries of reality and our awareness wont allow us to find any last word
on knowledge. That is, of course, unless we lift the boundary uncovering our
final frontiers. Achieving enlightenment of the highest level and a
consciousness that answers all our questions so that we never want more--
transformation to a state of omnipotence. When that revelation is eventually
met by whatever means, God will be looking right back at us, with a smile.








The World

I saw eternity the other night
Like a great ring of pure and endless light,
All calm, as it was bright,
And round beneath it, time in hours, days, years
Driven by the spheres
Like a vast shadow moved, in which the world
And all her train were hurled.

Henry Vaughn (1621 95)




118

6
__________

Aftermath:
The new revelations

The high strangeness in my life was never destined to end just because of the
completion of a book. That was perhaps my safest bet and one which proved
disappointingly accurate.
It wasnt long after I had put the finishing touches on my work, convinced I
had covered every aspect of the interaction that further fragments of its
strangeness rose to the surface. These fragments were only occasional and
gradual, arriving as always in the form of dreams and obscure recollections.
I didnt even have to worry about tainting these memories with imagination,
as they seemed to hold their own quite vividly.
It would have been a painstaking task to jot down every new memory or
suspicion trying to decipher what actually happened next to what didnt and
even more frustrating to disrupt my book. So I decided to chronicle any new
information within an afterword, hoping it wouldnt re-write anything I have
experienced so far.
The immediate period following the completion of my work seemed a
strange one. Instead of feeling the great sense of accomplishment by having
addressed this obscure life of interaction I felt in a kind of limbo. I hadnt
really answered the questions that I and everyone else ultimately wanted to
know but instead pointed to a vague time in the future, a dismissive tactic
used by so many "contactees", something that I really didnt want to do. I
had after all written about my experiences in the understanding that they
might conclude with an ongoing memory recall and that really leaves it as an
open case for today and for many years to come.
I was left with a 90-something page testimony that people were immediately
going to see as the product of a hallucinatory illness and when I read over
the esotericism of what I am actually claiming, all due to the unimaginable
sophistication of paranormal entities, I too would see it that way. I can only
insist that I have never hallucinated in my life and that my relays are from
nowhere other than personal experience. I once remember the well chosen
119
words of a war correspondent coming back from a crisis in the Middle East
who had no biased knowledge of the conflicts there All I saw was how it
happened and I cannot be any less vague.
This lack of reference to things commonly reported before really seems to
have left me without the assistance of evidence, witness or even a
substantiating story. If it had not been for my knowledge of High
Strangeness and the Oz Factor, I would not have put a word of this into
writing and maybe decided upon psychiatry after all. Now that I read back
over what Ive written I begin to see the tangibility in some of the intangible
things described. Maybe it isnt possible to actually bring you into the realm
of a dream but I can at least try to tell you how it might work.
My original reason for defining these things was to try to connect with a tiny
minority of paranormal experiencers that have had these interactive psycho-
dramatic episodes in order for them to say Hey, there really is something in
what youve come across.
As my story developed, I realised I could do more than just that. What I have
described could perhaps open up and establish a less-talked-about angle in
UFOlogy. I dont intend to win over the majority who will understandably
doubt my story but at least I might help make concrete the psycho-astral side
of the phenomena for later generations to consider.
None of this actually helped; it just left me pondering in the indecisive limbo
at the time. The outcome had made it difficult to put a full stop on this saga
knowing that the full stop could never be accurately positioned. Not a week
would go by where I didnt feel the strange sensation that more of the puzzle
was surfacing thus more of the saga had to be added or re-written. I didnt
feel old enough to have harboured such a mysterious past with chunks that
didnt look like my own. There were times when it made me wonder
whether I had been jumping in and out of other peoples lives from other
dimensions because the recollections didnt often appear to be from the past
I knew.
It wasnt long after the time I believed I had completed my book that I read
about something in the newspaper that had always fascinated me; the
relationship between man and ape. An unidentified animal had been reported
somewhere in the world (an interesting phenomenon related to UFOlogy
where creatures are witnessed as being either unclassified or ridiculously out
of place) that brought about the topic of evolution and genetics. A man-
monkey was said to have been spotted by a number of people in Delhi
India, an animal that had no reason to have been there or even in existence.
120
Theorists were saying that it could have been a deformed ape or even the
result of a freakish crossbreed but what interested the media most wasnt so
much validity of the story but the way it touched upon the subject of
evolution and what scientists are always looking to do to speed it up. In
other words, could this be an evolvement of apes or what can possibly be
achieved through science--an inevitable man-monkey? Lets not forget
that one of the most controversial photographs taken of an alleged alien
being was known as the monkey man in Mexico back in 1949. Flying
discs were spotted over Monument Valley that appeared to be discharging
small cylinders over Mexico City, one of them containing the live, three foot
tall being in question. The black and white photo showed the small creature,
oddly dressed in European clothing, being led away by two men presumably
the authorities. For years this snapshot was unanimously branded a hoax,
which it could well have been but the fact that this creature was likened to a
monkey still interests me a great deal.
I have always had a thing about humanised and intelligent apes, believing I
had seen them somewhere either from my blurred past of from a deeper
realm of forgotten dreams. I seem to remember apes that talked quite
articulately, walking around on two legs and, more intriguingly, I was not
being surprised by their presence as though I was used to seeing them.
I tend to think of these memories as being from my actual past rather than a
Quantum Leap-type slip into another person because when I think of my
presence in these memories, I am often looking up at the beasts the way a
small child would. Perhaps they were no taller than the average human and
they didnt seem to pay much attention to my presence yet they would
occasionally refer to me affectionately the way a passing adult might to a
child. That tells me a great deal about the ages at which these memories
might have taken place.
When I read this article about the unusual creatures sighted in Delhi, the
written words monkey-man or man-beast seemed to ring a particularly
loud bell, conjuring up many memories about the ape people. Those were
the words used in the scenarios I remember, Try to avoid the man-beasts,
theyre quite harmless but best left alone. The monkey-man is there,
waiting to develop, please allow them to. I found this fascinating as I must
have remembered them existing as a type of intelligent livestock. I vaguely
recall overhearing these comments or perhaps being personally briefed on
what they were. I never consciously remembered them this way as I only
dismissed that memory as another disjointed dream but now I really felt
there was a story behind the man-beast. I often felt a chill once I recapped
121
those memories because, as primitive as the apes looked, they could talk.
Just imagine having sudden memory about your dog being able to talk and it
will throw everything you know about evolution out the window. This new
memory was as enlightening as it was disturbing. Somewhere in my life I
had seen apes that could walk and talk like people.
Other times when I believe to have seen these creatures were times when
they (and everyone else in the scene) were totally oblivious to my presence.
During these times I existed just as the familiar viewpoint where I could
view scenes at any angle I chose, like the multi-perceptive omnipotence of
which I spoke. All sorts of scenes were played where I could see the man-
monkeys happily interacting with humans. As I suspected before, the talking
apes were a type of respected manservant; they were either discovered or
developed to carry out tasks. I remember seeing what we would interpret as
garden fetes going on where the humanised apes would happily liaise with
human masters without any animosity between them. Some apes appeared to
live wild in the woodland areas where they would cling together as clans or
families watching in on the strange activity of humans and developed apes. I
got the impression that even the wild apes were intelligent to a point, some
capable of speech, some not. I just remember them existing in a sad and inert
state where they couldnt seem to decide what they actually were. They
simply hung around in these clans, sluggishly brooding as though they were
waiting to be developed. It was like a type of school.
What I could never work out was whether these scenes were images of the
future or something quite tasteless going on now in a secret genetic farm
somewhere. There is no evidence to suggest that this research or monkey
schooling is going on anywhere but the ideas have certainly crossed
peoples minds over the years. Planet of the Apes, a television series I
loved watching as a youngster was based on the next stage of evolvement for
monkeys and how they lived among humanity, some films showed them
actually being the masters. I cannot even say it was that which influenced
my visions of the ape-people, because these beasts I saw were physically far
closer to their ape origins than the refined look of the actors who played
them. Physically, these creatures were apes with their full body fur and no
need for clothing, it was only their minds which made them appear human. I
never forget the documentaries seen occasionally that demonstrate the
communicative skill of apes showing them being able to select things on
computer screens and the theory expressed that it is only the shape of their
mouths that prevent them from speaking. If any creature could be upgraded
this way it would be apes. I wouldnt be surprised to see a breakthrough of
122
this within the next 20 years. What I saw in this cryptic way seemed
incredible and disgusting. In hindsight, it was only the lack of malevolence I
witnessed in the scenes that helped me warm to what I saw.
The monkey-man is one of those fixations that never properly wore off.
Even as I read over what I originally said about their presence I feel the
shiver of familiarity as though there were so much more. I honestly believe
that something substantial took place in my past to which I had been
accidentally exposed, something that reflects a small part of a reality that
only a few people know of today. My reason for writing this book is as
much to request answers as it is to reflect them. I sincerely hope that
someone out there can tell me some more about the monkey-man among
hundreds of other things that hang in question.
Like every other subsequent feeling or memory I had after writing the book,
I couldnt afford to delve into it any further. I had re-visited all the strange
places I believe I went to and retraced every unexplained step I made, only
to find the same cold physical world of everyday life. It was time to take my
pages of personal testimony to a publisher and it had to be one that would be
sensitive to these peculiar claims without just looking for sensation. I knew
this was going to have an element of embarrassment and so many times I
was tempted to add or take away bits just to smother the edge off the
absurdity. Had I chosen to deviate from the story in any way, the chances are
the discrepancies would leak and a sharp mind somewhere would home right
in on it. I also knew quite early on in my writing that it wasnt going to
stretch to the average two hundred and something page epic because there
simply wasnt that much to tell. A compilation of experiences, memories and
some personal theories to support them would, I estimate, be around 90
pages or more, but for me that was adequate; it was the actual story.
For a first time writer, my bombshell saga and its outlandish claims were
going to make it difficult to approach anyone reputable. I needed anonymity.
As a particularly private person who preferred anonymity in most
communication, the Internet became a natural choice and it wasnt long
before I came across the world of e-publishing. This seemed like an
opening for a first-time author especially one who felt somewhat uncertain
about the categorisation of his story. Anonymity was easy over the Internet
and an e-publisher that I eventually contacted was very respectful of this.
The good thing was that as esoteric as my experiences were, they were not
likely to frighten people or put anyones lives or livelihood at risk. The
controversy factor was nil and I consider that to be a unique blessing
considering what God only knows I had been in contact with.
123
When I first approached, someone I thought it to be more in my interests not
to make an issue over this on-going memory recall because I had a feeling
they would lose interest or say, Come back when youre fully
remembered. I may indeed have a much fuller story later on in my life but I
think the time to break this news was the time after my Interactors had given
me the capacity to do so, the time after their abandonment.
Even then, this capacity I speak of had its drawbacks. I remembered things
and I could write about them but for most of my life my mind had been
influenced by an invisible mechanism that governed my thoughts and before
these beings departed, they took that with them. I had to learn to manage my
mind without control and, like everything else, if youve been used to
crutches it will feel strange walking without them. I had been offered new
perimeters in my mind, but I found exploring them to be taxing task. Writing
my story from a slow blooming memory left me unaccountably exhausted
but I found the completion of this self-appointed goal delightful.
I was a new person because revelations had been made to me. Maybe I
wasnt who I thought I was but I had been left to explore a new identity and
sometimes that could be a draining experience. Lifelong interests had to be
replaced because of these revelations, which perhaps was more educating
than taxing. It would seem that I had lost my fascination for stage magic
simply because the science behind it had at last been revealed. My childhood
figments of wizards and magic monks were now replaced by alien beings
because it seemed that they were my lifes true illusionists.
Even with the bombshell of new knowledge, life had to go on. I felt like a
patient awaiting the results of a strange new diagnosis and that its verdict
wouldnt really be known until years later. The limbo state that all this had
left me in meant I was too exhausted from interaction and its realisation to
care. This had taken its toll on my health and everyday life and it was
shocking to learn how long it was since I had actually worked. A doctor had
long ago advised me to apply for health benefits after diagnosing me with a
rare depressive illness related to M.E. That diagnosis was an educated shot
in the dark considering he didnt know a thing about my experiences.
With everything in mind and nothing to move on to I decided it was time for
a change of lifestyle or maybe a long holiday somewhere. An opportunity
had arisen for me to go abroad and learn a language if I wanted and I
honestly couldnt think of a reason why not. The place where the opening
had been offered was in Rome Italy on a 12 week language course to learn
the lingo and spend some time around the country. It was a marvellous
124
opportunity to come across and perhaps couldnt have happened at a better
time. My first concern was being able to apply concentration again given
that my mind was still fragile and buzzing with activity fresh from the recent
developments. I wondered how my mind would cope focusing on something
else like a new language but it would be interesting to try.
They say that going away doesnt necessarily solve problems as you only
take them with you but in all honesty I left on the note that they were no
longer there. My demons had literally left me and in any case I seemed to
have exorcised their significance by writing. The only mark they had left on
my abandoned mind was a slow acting recall of memory but I found that
more exciting than intruding. It had only been about the first week into my
holiday that a new memory emerged.
As always I point to the great significance in drifting-off to sleep because I
believe this hypnotic stage is uncannily receptive to all wavelengths inside
and out. One evening after retiring to my room between 10:30 to 11 p.m., I
lay in bed awake generally wondering about things as I normally do. That
particular night I remember desiring answers to things imagining them to
materialise in a way that could only be wishful thinking. Wouldnt it be
nice if someone could pop answers into my mind as I slept was the gist of
my thought but if that had been interpreted as an actual request then I
wouldnt have been surprised by what I came across the very next day. That
following afternoon, without warning it felt like cold water had suddenly
been thrown right in my face. How did I ever manage to forget that mystical
garden with all the lakes and strange seals everywhere? That seemed like
years ago, so long I had actually forgotten. That was where I saw so much
magic performed.
It was a distant memory of either a huge garden somewhere or a national
park or woodland. The sunshine seemed to have been at its peak but I dont
even remember feeling hot. There were hundreds of people around but I
dont remember much about them other than they wore robes similar to the
ones Asians wear and they bathed in the nearby lakes. What fascinated me
about this scene were those animals everywhere that resembled sea-lions
even though I knew they werent. These creatures seemed tranquil with a
placid intelligence with which I actually believe I communicated. It is
because words were not spoken yet everything was immediately understood
that I have to refer to telepathy once again. There was peacefulness about
this communication and I seem to remember conversing with a number of
these creatures, about what Ill never know. I recall seeing them scattered
everywhere, some in the lakes and others resting by the banks just like seals
125
do. They were black in colour and moved about mainly on their underside so
I wonder if my prior or later knowledge of seals perhaps distorted my mind
into seeing them that way. It looked as though the humans in the scene
cohabited quite happily with these creatures and I got the impression that
this was a type of gathering for rest rather than any mutual coercion.
Another interesting aspect was that there was something else, something
alive above us overlooking the scene only I couldnt see what. That seemed
to have been the extent of my memory, a frustrating boundary which I
always run into during these recollections.
As always, I was overwhelmed when the new memory dawned upon me and
dumbstruck when it finished. I had witnessed yet another dj vu fade into
nowhere and there was nothing I could do. This particular recollection
however was interesting because it had striking similarities to the previous.
The outdoor activity was there, like a garden fete where wise animals were
present communicating with me, this time telepathically. Rather than
humanised apes of the last memory it was seals with advanced minds.
Humans were again present but I didnt pay much attention to them owing to
these nondescript creatures everywhere.
What made this memory fascinating was that I seemed to have requested it
as I had gone to bed the previous night thinking, Wouldnt it be great if-- I
could have put this down to coincidence, thinking that a new memory might
have been due anyway, but then I once remember reading about something
like this. I used to follow the case of Ed Walters Gulf Breeze Sightings
quite fanatically at one time, reading books on the subject whenever they
came out even noting how his photographs of the UFOs sighted near his
home in Florida were very similar to the cathedral-like ones I once dreamt
about even though I suspect that was flashback. In his book, UFO
Encounters at Gulf Breeze he describes a theory similar to sleeping on it a
phenomenon where one could go to bed and request something just before
dropping off to sleep and by morning either subconsciously or paranormally
the answers will be there waiting. He went on to describe how a number of
questions were answered this way, perhaps by forces unknown.
I have often drifted off into sleep only to be met with a string of mysterious
numbers followed by lucid dreams where my answers will be cryptically
demonstrated. Whether I cared to remember them the following day is
another matter as more times than not dreams are commonly forgotten. It is
hard to say whether these messages are generated from the subconscious or
something outside but on this occasion it had seemed symbolic of something
126
that might have gleaned answers. A mysterious park full of peaceful looking
lakes where I could converse with the most tranquil creatures, could this
have been one of those out-of-body experiences where I found myself in a
type of Biblical Eden on the other side? Maybe that was where all my
answers lay, the ones I flippantly asked for the previous night. I must admit
that if it was the result that I had been looking for then I found the whole
outcome very disconcerting. I could have practiced the whole sleep on it
technique every other night and gleaned answers that nobody would dream
of but to be honest I was too nervous. We are always warned to be careful
what we wish for and I found the whole simplicity behind that accident quite
disturbing. I might not want to look to deep into the esoteric in fear of what I
might find and, needless to say, I didnt practice that trick anymore to this
day. However, it wasnt the last I would remember about that strange
garden, something I will explain later.
It wasnt the first time that an explosion of new memories had thrown
everything into disarray and I dont suppose it will be the last. From
experience I have found it is best to file away these memories as unsolved
until another day because you get nowhere turning your mind inside out
trying to understand. The memories were interesting and immensely
significant but I had a life to lead.
There were physiological differences left in me as well as mental ones ever
since the beings had departed. I seemed to be carrying around this excess
electricity that felt particularly vibrant at times and so often I would
experience an unusual static from objects and a strong effect on electrical
devices. While in Italy I shared an apartment with other foreign guests who
were becoming very aware of my effects on the apartments TV. It got to the
point where I avoided getting up to leave the room as the televisions
electrical currents seemed to follow me. I noticed that times when I wasnt
expecting it, the picture would move in any direction I moved as if a magnet
were being waved across the screen. Yet on other occasions whilst on my
own when I deliberately tried to cause the effect nothing would happen. I
tried waving my hands all over the set and even concentrating but I never
could repeat the occurrence. This would happen unexpectedly with the radio,
light bulbs and even physical movement of pieces of paper. Whatever static
the average person was said to generate, I seemed to quadruple and spread
when I least wanted to.
It is a good thing that people these days generally seem light-hearted about
unusual tendencies and wont necessarily want to burn you at the stake for
possessing witchcraft. During my language course, there were many
127
occasions where each member of the class would take turns speaking into a
cassette recorder. Every time it came round to me the device would either
malfunction electrically or at least appear to work and then fail upon
playback. It can be a touch embarrassing anyway for students having to
listen to their voices in turn attempting to speak the language but when it
came to mine, an unearthly static could be heard over the cassette player and
my voice wasnt even audible! After a number of occasions, peoples initial
humour began to fade as though they were starting to suspect that perhaps I
was a witch, but I quickly developed a tactic. I thought that the effect would
never happen if I tried to induce it deliberately so in future I tried to be
aware and actually make it happen. It worked! I had actually managed to
trick the living programme the beings had left me with by asking it to do
what I knew it wouldnt. It made me realise once more that the alien
technologies were not as impervious as they appeared and had their flaws
just like the average machine has. It also brought home my earlier theory of
the artificial yet conscious entity within because it seemed to have an
awareness manifesting in the mind or physically. When I developed this
defence strategy it made me wonder if there would ever be a day where I
could talk to the entity the same way a hypnotist can train a patient to
communicate with their subconscious. Only time and an understanding of its
mechanisms will tell.
Weeks had passed since the two recent phenomena and I had become
involved enough in the holiday to actually put them out of my mind. That
was until another bombshell was to erupt without warning that seemed to
add credence to a previous one.
It started one evening after having a meal out at a Chinese restaurant and
waiting to pay the bill at the cash till when I noticed a painting on the wall
across the bar. It looked like one of those Hindu paintings of a vast garden
somewhere with Asian-dressed beings enjoying whatever activity it was.
Then something occurred to me, why were they all blue? In fact they are
always blue-skinned in Hindu illustrations and I wondered why that
fascinated me so. The same shiver of familiarity came over me again as I
thought about that memory of the garden-like woodland area with the wise
seals and the robed or sari-clad beings. They were not entirely human, either,
and their skin resembled that strange cobalt colour just like those in the
painting.
So much of that memory came flooding back to me that I would have
struggled to remember beforehand. The people in the scene I remember were
both male and female but had alien features, probably not alien compared
128
with what would normally be considered alien but too strange to exist
anywhere in our world, other than those paintings of course. Eventually
when I returned from this holiday, I spent a lot of time in the library
investigating Hindu art to explain where the blue people actually came
from but so far nothing had been gleaned. Even the mysterious grey aliens
reported today are sometimes seen as blue but these people I saw in the
memory were almost human except for that artificial looking skin.
Once I had seen that painting and just briefly wondered about its
significance was exactly when the memories flooded. That alone seemed a
phenomenon as it appeared to be another of those subconscious requests.
That was when I remember clusters of the blue beings just gathering socially
by the lakes. The seals in the scene were also scattered around just living in
independent harmony with these humans like they were regular bathing
guests. I cannot remember a sequence of events in this scene but it seemed
like I had been conversing with the seal creatures for a while before I
became aware of a presence overhead. To my amazement that presence
turned out to be a ball of brilliant white light hovering above us giving off
the same fiery effect of a sparkler. It made no sound as it flew over us and
gently lowered to a nearby bank by one of the lakes. What happened next
was unbelievable. It silently lowered more of the seal creatures from its
underside onto the grassy bank. I watched them effortlessly flop down onto
the floor below from an exit in this globe that I couldnt actually see almost
like the craft had spewed them out. The seals were awake and active soon as
they hit the floor and seemed to go in all directions.
Once the craft had done this I watched it swerve in sophisticated motion
without a sound and depart the way it appeared, straight over my head and
off into nowhere. For me a fantastic transpiration had just been carried out
which I suspect was just an everyday task in this strange world. It couldnt
have looked more alien in my eyes especially now in the recollection of a
sober and unaltered mind. A ball of light delivering a pack of seals to a
strange river bank surrounded by what appeared to be Hindus. What did any
of this mean? Furthermore why was I being shown it? I couldnt even
translate any significance to what I remembered wondered if that was my
young self in the scene or the body of another I inhabited. It even crosses my
mind that because these scenes are so seemingly irrelevant that I may have
plunged into them by accident almost like someone walking right into the
middle of a circus and was speechless by what they saw.
After I had returned home I had looked up a number of references to the
paintings I first saw that triggered that memory. There were quite a few of
129
those paintings around that depicted similar scenes and I gather them to be
significant to Indian religious folk bathing in sacred rivers like the Ganges.
Nearly all the Hindu art I had looked up depicted the blue beings, some with
women possessing four arms or more and interestingly some nondescript
creatures like multi-headed serpents. Nothing however pointed to the
significance of wise-seals. I even noticed occasional bright objects in the
paintings that could either have represented the Sun or strange stars but
nothing like the Biblical yet technological object that hovered overhead like
the classic UFO. Once again I write this book as much in request for answers
as I try to offer them and I hope that my experiences will perhaps arouse
someone proficient enough in Hindu folklore to point to what I might have
seen.
Naturally I was rocked by this new memory just like the others, but realised
how my new approach to shelve and not to try to understand was perhaps
the best one. An open case is how that and everything else in this book
remains.
Triggers had proved to be my most promising fuse to ignite these hidden
memories. Without that painting I might never have realised the memory of
the Hindu garden. I wondered if these triggers posed a threat such as
accidents or unforeseen flaws that upset or even quickened the aliens
programme. For instance, that memory might not have been due to release
itself into my consciousness until years later perhaps. By fate I come across
it much sooner. Does that mean I have tasted forbidden fruit too early? It
was undoubtedly going to leave me wondering and that meant I would seek
out more information continuously like a dog worrying a bone until I finally
learned what it all meant. That painting wasnt the last trigger I was going
to encounter on this holiday.
Because of my early interest in stage magic, the theatrical interest had
branched out onto other areas during my younger years and onto various acts
seen on the stage. The costumes and dramatic personas that appeared in
drama always reminded me of something cryptic and alien. Those masks
sometimes worn in plays truly fascinated me but when this theatrical interest
moved onto science I never really cared to investigate the connection. It
wasnt until sometime towards the end of my holiday in Rome one morning
while crossing the road when I saw one of those mimes on the street corner.
The connection came flooding back.
I immediately isolated this mime figure from the noise and crowds around
me as I become suddenly absorbed into his/her act. It was first the pasty
130
mask that the mime wore that gripped me, and then the solemn and
demonstrative silence of their act. I had seen this figure or at least figures
like it from somewhere in my past and knew it had shown me things. The
familiarity was quite unnerving. It felt like someone involved was watching
over me as if to say, There, dont you remember?
He continued to dance and act oblivious of me watching but I noticed
something striking when he appeared to look right in my direction. A silent
masked figure used to look at me that way when instructing me to do
something. I remember how the figure would instinctively know whether or
not I could carry out the given task and always knew exactly how I felt about
it. The method was, as always, telepathy which I had now accepted as a
basic rule of alien communication but I remembered the mime figure being
particularly demonstrative and taking time to show me things.
I would have liked to have stood and watched that all day had I not had other
things to do, but the other shoe dropped by the time I had reached the other
end of the street. This particular event I remember having had taken place
amidst my early adulthood but Im sure I had seen the pathos on a number of
occasions beforehand, right back to childhood. That masked or shrouded
figure had been responsible for taking me on nightly excursions as a small
boy to places I couldnt even fathom. However, the recent encounter with
my entourage had suddenly become very clear.
It might have been around 1991 because I remember being in my early 20s
and I seem to recall being on a trip somewhere out in a wilderness. I have
often put this trip down to a dream because no such excursion had taken
place or even been planned. The environment I had been plunged into I
couldnt even identify and certainly didnt resemble anywhere on our
hospitable planet. All I recall was being led by one of those theatrical mimes
who said nothing but explained absolutely everything by gesture, the genius
technique and why it interested me. He was dressed in either black or dark
clothing that reminded me of stage costume and I seemed to know this
individual unusually well. The terrain we were in was as equally peculiar
and I wondered how I even got there given that it looked too barren and
remote to be anywhere in England. All I saw was a landscape of rocks
stretching for miles with nothing on the horizon but more rocks. It was
impossible to see how far we had come as it was like that in all directions.
Even the sky was different and appeared an artificial deep purple and like
nothing we see in any of our seasons.
Where we were seemed so remote that you would have at least needed a
131
helicopter to arrive or leave but that wasnt the case. It was just I, him and
quite possibly another planet, uninhabited by the look of it. I dont
remember feeling temperature or any of the harshness associated with these
places but then the scenarios always appeared dream-like anyway and even
when I do remember, I will often find physical proof such as blisters even
though I maintain they are dreams. All I seemed to do in this scene was
follow the being in front who occasionally looked behind to check on me
and direct further. As I followed on his trail I couldnt help notice his dress.
From behind it resembled one of those black religious missionaries outfits
together with the broad rimmed hat that he wore. The only thing preventing
me from thinking he was a missionary was that phantom mask on his face
every time he peeped around.
I had no intention of doing anything other than follow very strictly because,
from what I could see, there was no direction to anything in a place like this.
I might have been in the Australian Outback or the Sahara. He looked
around at me one last time as we seemed to stop. I had followed him to a tall
ridge and when I reached him he gestured me to behold what was below. It
seemed to be a huge, vast canyon with an immense clearing amongst it even
though it looked barren. He kept holding his hand out for me to look in awe
at everything below and even seemed concerned that I didnt share his
enthusiasm. It was just a huge rock clearing sometimes found in the valleys
of famous mountain ranges such as the Grand Canyon and apart from the
unearthly sky above and the way it seemed to have no affect on the light cast
on us and this terrain (which was indeed strange) I couldnt really see what I
was supposed to acknowledge.
I cant remember this place, I said to him.
A strange comment seeing that nobody was suggesting that I should. The
communicative impression I got from this scene was that I was only being
shown something, maybe for the first time but then who knows what
subliminal messages were being relayed in this silence. He appeared to react
with a slightly humorous dismay and surprise in his response and it looked
as though he prepared to do something. That something could well have
been the wave of a magic wand because within the blink of an eye I was in
another place.
Once again I was plunged into yet another totally disorientating reality. This
one I am not even sure I have the hallmarks to compare with but I would
bravely attempt a guess that this was a glimpse of the future. This time I was
riding through the sky in a small but totally transparent craft. Below was a
132
night scene of a modern city into which I believe the craft was about to
descend. As I experienced this preparation for landing I was greeted with
fantastic glimpses of all angles of the city as this glass bubble lowered
down into a street between rows of skyscraper-like buildings, a view as good
as seeing the world from a cable pulley. The glimpses were brief but
unforgettable. I gathered that everything I saw was ultra commercial and
cosmopolitan; I say ultra because I couldnt recognise anything. That was
until I saw the most familiar and commercial logo ever above one of the
street levelled buildings, the famous letter M in yellow on a homely red
background, the welcoming logo of McDonalds. I feel myself wince once
more as I describe that and honestly wish it was something less familiar but
there it was, the instantly recognisable insignia of the worlds most
successful fast food chain. What was totally different when the bubble
lowered into street level was that I saw the entire boulevard taken up with
the McDonalds business. Everything on that side of the street was paraded
with their shop front imagery but I got the impression that it wasnt just one
long restaurant. Intriguingly I was looking at what seemed to be a whole
street of a multi-faceted business that could have been restaurants, hotels,
stores, banks, you name it all ran by the McDonalds chain. If this was a
scene from the future then I have learned something about the business of
tomorrow. Rather than just sticking to fast food, a global business like this
had perhaps branched out onto other services all under the same name? This
is a fascinating thought considering that big business is always looking to
expand and maybe on a company blueprint somewhere this concept is being
planned.
This scene was brief, maybe because I interrupted it. Even though I had been
deliberately induced into this scenario I remained physically being back in
the rocky terrain. It was like being in one of those lucid dreams having
knowledge of where you actually are and being able to purposely drift in and
out. I knew it was that dual-vision experience again where I could observe
more than one scene. Just after I had taken in the wonder around me of that
strange city I had somehow snatched myself back with the being. When I
think back to this ability I realise that its like working between applications
on a computer. While on the Internet you could have a number of web pages
loading and easily be able to switch between them using alt + tab keys, just
as I switched between these realities. It was disappointing when this
happened because there were things about the city that I wanted to know:
where was it and when was it? If it had been a city so many years into the
future where McDonalds monopolised the entire street then why show me?
133
Had I unwittingly asked for this information or was it deeply significant for
me?
I dont remember being back for long after that scene because I had instantly
toggled into another one. This time I found myself inside a huge and semi-
dark dome. It seemed to be taller than it was broad and I found myself
exploring its limits by floating upwards. I wasnt alone, either; there were
hundreds of other people, as if it were a type of futuristic aviary for humans.
Everybody floated around without purpose like it was a way of relaxing
leisure. I noticed that some people around me used small boards for their
motion which reminded me of the floats used for learner swimmers at leisure
pools while others and myself free-floated. This seemed optional and might
have been an equivalent to beginner and advanced. I also noticed that as I
floated vertically there were levels in the walls like platforms and I couldnt
see how far up or down this column went because it was either too dark or
too distant. Movement didnt seem to be restricted in any way and it was
exactly like the anti-gravity that astronauts use in space. That must have
been what it was, a human floatation aviary for the future of relaxation. It
seemed to have provided everything from platforms to hover-boards and
gave the distinct impression of a leisure centre of tomorrow.
The next scene I suddenly found myself in was less leisurely and far more
industrial. This time I observed from above what looked like a vast quarry in
a mountain range similar to the canyon I had just witnessed. Only this time it
was almost dark (no hint of the purple sky) and the activity below was
littered with work staff and machinery that I couldnt identify. Upon closer
inspection I noticed they were working around the most gigantically wide
potholes in the ground that seemed to go down infinitely. It seemed that I
had been made to observe the floating activity once again as I saw hoards of
people going down into the shaft and coming back up by means of
floatation. A huge operation was taking place that I could only identify as
mining. Whatever the images were meant to convey to me, it made perfect
sense that the anti-gravity ability was used for deep mining of minerals.
What better way could anyone have of mining than actually floating down
there without the limiting need of cables or climbing equipment? I watched
the miners slowly penetrate the darkness of these huge shafts and watched
their white coveralls gradually diminish into the darkness below. God only
knows how far that shaft went down but as soon as one or two descended, a
few more rose up. The floatation was fantastic and it made me wonder how
they manipulated the ascent and descent.
What I had been shown seemed to be a sneak preview of how they will mine
134
in the future, using floatation. After it had been revealed, the same questions
as to its significance returned--why show me? I am not a miner and never
did discover what they actually mined.
The only connection I could make was to the vast canyon that the being
originally showed me before I was zapped away on scenarios. Maybe the
first was the quarry where they mined, but shown in daylight? All I could
decipher was that I had been given a lesson in flotation and its uses. In some
ways it made a lot of sense because if we could use anti-gravity it could be
exploited for leisure as well as industry. Flotation, a way of relaxing today is
used in leisure centres that have water filled tanks for people to unwind in
both darkness and silence. Floating in nothing could be the new age way
to ultimate tranquillity. What struck me some time after I encountered these
scenarios was an idea I once contributed to a local magazine in a
competition for a leisure pursuit of the future. This happened years after the
forgotten floating experience and my entry was without surprise the
floatadrome and the way I described it in my entry did sound like a human
aviary. As soon as I remembered seeing that competition, my idea sprang to
mind without really questioning its source. Just like my written ideas at
school, the entry had been written off as being too obscure because I never
heard anything of it. This had been just another example of the source-less
ideas and strange fixation my life had become accustomed to.
I am not sure how or when that mining scenario came to an end, but Im
certain its beginning, end and complete control were centred around the
pathos. I say that because his bland mask was the last thing I remembered
seeing. There was yet another scene but I cannot be sure if that happened the
same day or a much later one. It was so hard to decipher these scenes
sequences and how long they actually continued. Had the next one taken
place on another occasion, then I really feel it must have been just days later
because this batch of memories appeared closely linked both in significance
and period.
Once my memory had been triggered that day by the pathos-mime on the
street, I had stopped to think long and hard about these memories knowing
there was yet another in the pipeline. I had made that afternoon my own, to
be alone and with my new revelations knowing that after I had carefully
thought and written through what I remembered, I would open my mind to
the next. Like in the other scenes, the new one revealed yet more science
without even hinting at its relevance.
This new scene, which I believed took place on a separate occasion to the
135
other two, began when I found myself in a crowded place somewhere with
the familiar sensation that those around me were unaware of my presence. It
looked like one of those vibrant transport terminals for trains or buses where
people rushed in all directions to get tickets and information with queues
everywhere. This place looked unreal with a strange and exaggerated
sophistication about it, a place that we wouldnt normally come across with
machines everywhere that were not used in our world. They seemed to be
devices that I could only interpret as projectors that emitted three-
dimensional images anywhere they wanted so convincingly that I could
hardly tell real from image. All of the images were of people demonstrating
or explaining something. The machines themselves resembled those
sophisticated biological devices I mentioned in an earlier chapter, the ones
that upon appearance only resemble something odd organically grown but
once activated appear to do things that our most upgraded computers cannot.
They were machines that resembled pods and at the same time didnt quite
look like either. All I remember seeing was that these devices were
everywhere in the terminal each giving advice to people who requested it.
I remember paying too much attention to these projectors and their images
to really take notice of the people around me, but I did notice they were
dressed differently to our usual commuters. Instead of the sober business
suits normally worn, they were dressed in those gowns again only they
werent Asian or even like the blue people I saw from that garden. Even
the gowns they wore were not totally familiar as they only reflected Asian
wear and some of the clothing looked outright futuristic. Just like the
machinery, there were telltale signs of where they might have originated but
then there were features that notably clashed. For instance, why would so
many seemingly white Westerners dress like Buddhists or Hindus and if they
did, why add strange futuristic headpieces or bangles that might come from a
fictional space colony?
Just like the other occasions, I never really got to grips with why I was
actually there, but impressions were strong. The significance of me
witnessing these machines wasnt just to show me 3D projections, it was to
do with an individuals ability to manifest in an apparitional way. This
signified omnipotence I spoke of earlier seemed to be a major theme in my
education. Apparently the people of tomorrow could transmit by manifesting
just like a message does when sent electronically. The lesson I learned was
multi-awareness; I could perceive the scene without physically being there
and witnessed others who could appear through these machines. For the first
time, this might have been a test as well as a lesson. The pathos being, the
136
instigator of this scene was testing my ability to get noticed. I am not sure
what it actually was that I was supposed to do to get noticed because all I
possessed was this multi-perceptive view without even a physical form. My
impression was that I was supposed to appear the way those other people did
from the machine. I couldnt.
The scene instantly shifted to another; this time I was on a train. The trains
interior was not particularly future looking, but what appeared unusual was
that apparitions would appear and the passengers barely took notice. They
would suddenly appear next to someone to pass on a message of some kind
and then vanish. It was as occasional as someones mobile phone ringing
and that was the level of normality of which it seemed. But still, neither the
apparitions nor the people knew I was there, whatever the entity I actually
meant here.
That was it. I couldnt seem to manifest that way, so perhaps I had failed my
test but it was where the scene ended and I was back with the pathos. Again
I was with my guide in the rocky terrain with its strange purple sky. For the
first time, he seemed understanding and even hinted humour so maybe my
test wasnt that much of a disappointment. Again, no words were spoken
but I was gestured to follow him. This time it seemed to be the way back
(over the rocks that I believe I clambered over days previous). He
effortlessly led from yards in front as I followed in his trail. I feared that I
might lose him as he strode ahead almost as though floating. I never really
noticed that on the way here but then I cant say I remember seeing legs
moving under that black gown. Being lost somewhere like this was a
daunting idea--it was literally in the middle of nowhere--but the pathos kept
getting further away and I think I was starting to panic. I remember seeing
his slight and dark outline move upwards over what looked like a high
gravelled dune and I just knew that once I had lost sight of him he would be
gone. It seemed a long enough struggle just to arrive at that dune and
climbing it seemed unreasonable. I really expected him to poke his head
over that ridge above me just to see where I was, but I feared he had lost me
deliberately. I remember looking around in all directions for a short-cut or
familiar ground but there was nothing, just endless rocks and that horizon of
purple sky. For the first time, I was feeling the effects of the terrain, I felt
blistered, tired and my mouth was dry. I desperately tried to call out for
someone but no words came out. The panic had escalated and my need felt
so great that something had to give. That was it, the last I remembered of the
scene.
My next conscious memory was one of the following mornings around that
137
particular time (1991-92) being aware that something strange had taken
place and left its mark on me. I seem to remember dismissing it as another of
those dreams where, upon waking, I was left with its evidence. I only had
recall of the dream through the sensation of pain, as though I had been on a
rigorous hiking trip. There were blisters on my feet and sores all over my
hands where I remember having clambered over rocks for something. Even
though I insisted this was only a dream, my wounds seemed to hurt more
when I recalled the moments that caused them I remember looking up the
word psychosomatic and going to libraries to find out what the effects of this
condition were. I had been hoping to find something on dreams and whether
they could actually leave their mark the same way that physical complaints
are said to be caused simply through a frame of mind. I found nothing that
would explain my mystery and it was unnerving how I didnt even consider
UFOlogy or the paranormal given that it was a subject of interest.
I remembered going away thinking my problems might have been
psychosomatic and that these sensations could have been caused by thought,
although it was funny how the supernatural never even entered the equation.
All of these new memories pointed to so many strange occurrences
throughout my life and I was beginning to see patterns and references. The
newly recalled batch of scenes took place around a time of my life that
was psychologically cloaked, causing me to accept things like they were
supposed to happen. The scenes would explain that strange addition to my
theatrical interest at the time, pathos, and why it held such mysticism.
As I sat and carefully pondered over these times so many lifelong fixations
returned offering an explanation. That cartoon I once saw as a child of the
Charles Dickens play A Christmas Carol where shrouded beings led Scrooge
on an abstract journey, one which included the future, started to make sense.
I honestly felt I was being shown the future with a pathos mime leading me
there. There is something about abstract journeys and their silent
(telepathic?) guides and so many other things I describe that tell a hazy but
quite legitimate story. For most of my life I had been on journeys and
experiences that perhaps only folklore could explain.
The journeys themselves are quite typical of something already known by
the descendents of ancient tribes who try to carry on their traditions and
folklore. The Shamans or tribal medicine men of northern Asia, who claim
to be able to control spirits good and evil, are said to go on such a journey to
find a cure for the sick and dying. The journey experienced has often been
dismissed as the delirium of those in a sick state which we all suffer at times,
138
but there is still so much to be said for the legitimate spiritual side of the
journey. Many come back to report both accurate and identical experiences,
some of being led somewhere by a mystical being. I was neither sick nor
dying but I seriously believe that the pathos leading me was definitely trying
to teach or convey something in the usual psycho-dramatic, alien way. I
began to grasp parts of the lessons. The lessons had taken place towards the
end of 91 yet I wasnt allowed to remember them until today, 10 years later.
Perhaps I reached the maturity to understand them better and maybe 10
years from now I will have the full picture.
The recent revelations I believe taught me something about omnipotence and
how to multi-exist. Maybe the first scene of the futuristic street with its
multi-faceted business showed me how to exist in the future and provided
glimpses of what it might hold such as floatadromes and the new ways of
mining whereas the apparitions were an actual test on mastering the
presence. I didnt feel like a ghost and simply couldnt do it so maybe that
became shelved for another day? My other experiences of the civilised apes
and the otherworldly Hindu garden were also hints of a much greater world
somewhere that I will only be able to explore fully when I am truly capable.
The new revelations were staggering especially as I thought I had just
finished a book about the experience and I wasted no time at all in feverishly
jotting down everything I could remember. Whereas I had previously
completed a book left with a question mark, I found that recent
developments had finally attempted to answer something. The absurdity of
the phenomena, an aspect that had plagued me due to its disparity and
embarrassment was suddenly starting to speak volumes. Maybe it wasnt so
absurd now that I could think of it in terms of psycho-drama and the
significance behind its vague symbolism. The pathos tried to convey
something perhaps because I desired it so much. It was a case now of going
home and adding this essential afterthought to a mostly unsolved volume of
secret memoir. I couldnt help wondering whether the forces-that-be had
deliberately spared this recent chunk of knowledge as something to consider
for the rest of my life.
So where was any of this supposed to leave me? I feel afraid to put this full
stop on the saga in the event that even more buried memories suddenly show
up and throw everything I have understood into disarray. Sometime that
emergence will be inevitable but I hope the next phase will be much further
down the line. There have been periods where nothing has happened for
years and I am left feeling that all the information I have is the total recall
but there would be no sense in that; its like telling somebody half a story.
139
More will emerge and any new memories I receive from now on will be
compiled for a second book of my saga, if there ever is a second book.
I have no interest in trying to extract more half-baked information from
myself only to encourage the sceptics view that it is actually irrational or
misinterpreted. It is too easy to extract and taint insufficient knowledge this
way when it simply isnt ready. Memories choose to leak at inappropriate
times and those times have proved to lack any sort of pattern other than
being activated by something but at least now I will be prepared for that.
Only once I believed I activated something deliberately by going to sleep
one night and requesting it, something which seems to work, but I wont be
trying that again out of fear, fear of what I might actually get from that
abyss. There isnt anything now that I particularly want to trigger as I am
still in the process of making head and tail of what Ive already been given.
To be honest, my energy levels are left shatteringly low and I would much
rather get on with my life now and enjoy the anonymity I have insisted upon,
counting my blessings that I have not been devastated by these encounters.
That may be a rarity for someone plunged unwillingly into unexplored
paranormal territory, but then my feelings of drainage have proved to be the
drawback. Para-psychological interaction with its mind control and
disruptive revelation seems to have taken its toll on my actual life-force
because I believe that is where the interaction takes place. It has taken a
great deal out of me and quite often I feel particularly shell-like as though a
spiritual vacuum has been somehow operated.
It was very pleasing that these new revelations did take place offering this
hope against a backdrop that seemed quite incomprehensible but perhaps the
drainage I feel is the price paid for that hope. It seems I have paid for new
information. My new insight will keep me going and on a confident quest
for answers instead of psychiatry.
I have requested help along the way without going into any detail of why my
mind and energy has been sapped like it has. My recent holiday abroad
helped me to recoup on a certain level but I feel the effects of this unknown
interaction go untraceably deep. I remember reading Karla Turners Into the
Fringe, a story about alien abduction, in which she learned that towards the
end of her episode, alien beings were implanting and extracting information
from her actual aura. This was interesting because I often felt that data was
somehow seeded and harvested in me on a level that wasnt really mental or
physical. I felt that energy was being manipulated at all times and when
information was released into my consciousness it followed with a drawn,
140
taxed feeling. Psychic healers are said to work with energy fields and often
diagnose so many of our complaints as being a disparity in our fields. Like
everything, I prefer to think of this energy as something that can one day be
put under the microscope and manipulated the way that aliens obviously can.
At the moment it isnt anything I could ever bring to the doctors Ive seen or
even suggest as a culprit of my condition, but owing to the recent
considerations I have made along with the comments in Dr Karla Turners
book, something is at last getting explained
Since I had been advised unfit for work and passed from doctor to doctor in
a vain attempt to understand what was actually wrong with me, there have
been some rough diagnoses. I have been suspected of suffering from some
sort of chronic fatigue illness, while others considered me to have had a
nervous stroke because of hyperactivity. I have always felt there was this
abundance of nervous energy in me that seems to cause conflicting feelings
of lethargy and restlessness. One doctor had thought this might be related to
a dysfunctional lobe on the brain similar to the symptom that causes epilepsy
and referred me to a hospital for a computerized tomography (CT) scan to
monitor the brains neurological activity. The outcome of this scan was
particularly interesting as it showed an unusual amount of electricity in me
and one of the doctors had asked if I experienced static at times. I said that I
did and went on to ask what the excess electricity actually meant but she
seemed to shrug it off as unimportant.
I never did learn what the connection was to a persons electricity and the
other neurological symptoms let alone the alien interaction, but I understood
that neurotransmitters in the brain use electrical currents. I have had so many
incidents where I have affected electrical equipment around me and it has
never really been addressed like all my other unexplained symptoms.
Different neurological disorders are diagnosed everywhere in the world, but
it isnt often that the depth of these disorders are truly explored. What
exactly is it that psychics home in on when they discover disparities in
energy? Could this be the electricity behind the chemical reactions
recognised by doctors or maybe the essential life-force we possess?
When you have come to accept the existence of alien entities and the truth
about their involvement in your life, the symptoms left by their interference
becomes secondary. I can handle the toll of hyperactivity, excess nervous
energy and the drainage and even the incredible effects of static interference,
but I would like to know the science behind it all and why alien interaction
does this. One essential component for my writing is to share these
experiences and learn whether or not I am not alone with their effects.
141
I also wonder if cases of demonic possession ever leave this aftermath on a
person and what a foreign spirit inhabiting somebody actually means for
them when the spirit departs. I feel I have been possessed by foreign entities
for most of my life. All of them seem to have departed forever. They have
caused me to be isolated, allowed me to be smart and left me like an empty
shell when their presence finally left.
My neurology and physiology remains very strange through their interaction
and there are times when I struggle to contain myself. My entire Neuro
Linguistic Programming (NLP) and movement have always been sudden and
intense, something which occasionally scares off animals and I also suspect
that people notice these movements as though they were the mannerisms of
a junkie. I am also extremely sensitive to the environment around me and
suffer a particularly low tolerance to any sort of discomfort. This means I
find myself ruling out a number of everyday things that might violently
disagree with me.
The excess nervous energy I suffer from feels so much like the recognised
excess of electricity and often it feels as though I am restraining turbulent
currents. Owing to the heightened sensitivity I feel, I have great difficulty in
keeping still and sleeping has always been a problem. I seem to display all
the movements of somebody with a nervous disposition and the doctors Ive
seen probably havent ruled out the possibility of Tourettes Syndrome.
Apart from the telekinetic effects I sometimes have on radios and television,
there isnt anything I suffer with that can realistically be attributed to alien
intervention. There is the other aspect of my neuro-physiology that I have
been reluctant to label as either psychosomatic or paranormal as it seems a
bit of both. The physical effects I experience after an incident I believe to
have been psychological can be very interesting because my mind seems to
have generated them. After awakening from those interactive dreams, would
find physical marks as if they actually took place. More interesting is the
way I experience these marks even when trying to recollect the incidents.
After that vivid spell I had after seeing a perfectly normal mime act in the
street, I actually remembered feeling some of the sore and exhaustive effects
of frantically following the creature home that time. I became gaspingly
thirsty from the desert air I experienced ten years beforehand and my
kneecaps suddenly hurt. Feeling the same fear when re-living an episode is
quite normal but the physical effects are something quite unusual. Had there
been an x-ray at hand when I relived this episode would it have picked up
the wear and tear of my soreness like in the effects of stigmata?
142
I was left with the usual questions that perhaps could never be answered, but
I learned profound lessons about my experiences. I felt that all of this might
have been a preliminary for the rest of my life. The time up until 1996
seemed to have been a schooling period and then upon my graduation I
began a period of learning, about myself and the universe.
My conclusion about what it all meant had to be left open but what occurred
to me about the interactors of my life was that they were not just inhabitants
of the physical universe or an inter-dimensional realm but might possess the
omnipotence of both. That ultimate question about whether they were from
outer or inner space could be answered by a possibility that they exist on
other planets as well as other planes of reality. They might have even
originated from the aforementioned planet but evolved enough onto a level
of a paradigm shift, something we hear a lot of in metaphysics and new
age study that, it is believed, one day will transform humans spiritually.
The omnipotence lesson seemed to have been the most significant and Im
not sure what that will mean for the human race or me in years to come. I
have been provided the insight to experience multi-perception, multi-
consciousness and maybe even glimpses of the future, but none of this has
appointed me to a specific role. I would like to consider myself a seer with
the gift of saving others from tragedy but like the very few people in the
world today who have this gift, I am powerless to switch it on and off at
will. Even our most respected psychics who claim mastery of their gift arent
always able to make full use of it when needed. Instead, a manifestation of
oddities will occur when the consciousness dwindles, like dropping off to
sleep.
Psychic interaction can be terribly one-way and always in the interests of
those on the other side, the ones who ultimately call the shots. Our
wavelengths are confusingly different and only when we learn to master the
science behind that difference will the veil between the living and the dead,
the terrestrial and extraterrestrial, the psychic and the physical be lifted
forever. Those we regard as our gifted clairvoyants will at last use the
potential of their powers and those who have glimpsed or had some level of
exposure to the otherness as I have will be granted the answers they
deserve. My claims and theories can only gather substantiality once the
larger picture reveals itself, either from the past or future.

My revelation continues

143

Postscript
__________

Glimpses of Tomorrow

As commented earlier, an ongoing memory recall makes finishing a story
immensely difficult, as it is a story that develops continually. I still get
memories and partial recalls long after completing the last chapter.
However, it isnt my intention to write another chapter about more disjointed
tales of improvable interactive experiences. This small section I want to add
here is not about me but something that ultimately involves everyone and
something that everyone wishes to know about--tomorrow. Amongst the
strange scenarios that I have experienced throughout my life, many of them,
including new ones, have allowed insights into a possible future existence.
We normally call these experiences premonitions, but in my case, they have
been hazy scenarios that I have inadvertently plunged into and experienced
first hand.
Premonitions do not always warn of impending disaster such as plane
crashes or tragedy. Sometimes they can be quite trivial and seemingly
irrelevant. If they do manage to steer us away from unpleasant outcomes, it
would suggest that a greater godlike intelligence was delivering them and
disaster would never strike. I believe that there are genuine seers in the
world, governed by such a benevolent force but they are few and far
between, with limited powers. In my case, I have been blessed with enough
psychic privilege to accidentally gain glimpses of what will be. These
glimpses are neither granted nor selected and dont appear to be connected
with me in any way. They dont seem to be of any great significance to
mankind either but in the words of Roy Walker, I just say what I see.
What you are about to read in this small supplement is not at all subjective
nor a guaranteed account of the future written in stone. It is my personal
attempt to mix and match all that I have come across to present a rough
guide to what the future might hold. Snippets of insight and information can
paint a confusing picture, but I hope that there are people out there
perceptive enough to help address what I have seen. As with my experiences
and my book, it is as much of a quest for answers as it is to provide them.
144
These are just some of those obscure glimpses alongside my interpretations:


Eclipse: A simple game of the future?

Recently, I believe I had the experience of seeing and partaking in some sort
of future video game requiring no screen or joysticks. The action seemed to
by psychically controlled and displayed as a type of hologram.
What I remembered seeing were two disks that each player controlled, a
light one and a dark one, and the purpose was quite simply for one disk to
eclipse the other. It may sound dull and perhaps easy but I was amazed how
engaging it actually became! To completely smother a moving object that is
trying to smother you is harder than it looks. I believe that the play area or
screen became smaller as we played, adding challenge to the game. Points
were scored with each total eclipse of the other.
I cannot remember who I played against or even how well I did, where and
why it took place or when. Eclipse was a name I coined after I had a gist of
how the game was played. The word eclipse seemed the most fitting.
When you consider how involved video games have become these days, and
how unfathomable they are to adults, perhaps in the future we return to the
simple and minimalist games like Pac Man or Space Invaders. Apart from
the psychic and holographic aspects of this strange game, it would not be
difficult to manufacture and I welcome anyone to patent it. Like a simple
game of marbles, it sounds banal but is a surprisingly engaging way for the
tomorrow people to amuse themselves.


Virtual time travel theme parks

There were certain phenomena I came across during my interactive
experiences that gave way to the notion of dual-presence and psycho-
dramatic play scenes. Quite often I was plunged amongst the most lifelike
scenes that werent quite real upon closer inspection. I wasnt actually where
I thought I was. These scenes were perhaps the most convincing virtual
reality we could achieve without headsets yet the experiencer could still see
145
the real environment if they chose to. In the past I have had these scenes
induced into my mind in order to convey important messages by the alien
beings as demonstration. It is no doubt a communicative method of the
future.
My premonitions seemed to have concentrated a great deal on strange
exhibitions or theme parks of either the future or elsewhere. So many times I
experienced dreamlike scenarios of specially sectioned areas devoted to a
time, a place or a particular theme. Theme parks or reserved areas for special
interest have great significance in the future and are a major part of research
and entertainment. In the nearer future, they are not necessarily the
holographic or induced virtual reality that I have had but rather a physical
part of our lifestyle. Much, much later when their interest picks up, they are
to become similar to what I describe above. There will be a time when you
can visit a theme park that features a particular decade and step right into a
virtual reality scene of yesteryear. It is a recording or a playback of time as it
actually was. This is achieved through the same principle of traditional
ghostly sightings which parapsychologists believe to be playbacks of actual
events rather than spirits of the dead. We will reach a time where we
discover what ghosts actually are and manage to exploit them. Tomorrow we
appear to discover time travel but not the way we thought, not physical time
travel. We will manage to create holographic videos of what was and walk
among them like they were phantom worlds.
What better way to learn about history? Time travel without interfering with
the past. But then do we? Like many, I wonder if the UFOs we see today are
those from the future jumping into similar theme parks. It would explain so
much about the renowned alien evasiveness.
I recently recalled a dream about being in a place similar to Disney World
and visiting exhibitions featuring the history of each country. Some of the
histories didnt seem quite correct as though things took place that werent
correctly recorded; this would stand to reason. History books havent always
been accurate. When I visited the theme of my own country, for instance, I
was taken back to a scene of Victorian London--horses and carts, harsh
looking architecture, and everyone dressed in the drab clothing of the day,
yet right in the middle of the scene was a type of fete. There were often
village fetes in those days, but what I remembered seeing was an elaborate
and technical carousel that could not have been built then. It was the centre
of attraction and resembled a landed spacecraft more than a fairground
attraction, something the history books could not have chronicled. As
always, my memory of the event was as vague as it was limited but it made
146
me wonder if much of the worlds true history has been shrouded or if the
universe has perhaps a range of parallel pasts, the aforementioned could
have been existence. There have been many events in my life of high
strangeness that sometimes points to the could have been realm.


Holographic communications

The virtual reality theme parks are not the only holographic sensation in the
future. I have seen remarkable displays of apparitions where people can
contact each other this way just like a 3D see-you-see-me function. It is
very similar to the Star Wars film where a recorded hologram of Princess
Leah was beamed from R2D2 in order to convey an urgent message. This is
even better because the image can be live and materialise from thin air. I
have seen this done during interactive experiences of events I believe to
have been the future, one of them being aboard an old fashioned train. The
apparitions seemed to have become so familiar that a ghost zapping out
nowhere is commonplace.
Tomorrow, they seem able to manipulate light so it is without source, shape
it, mould it and alter its reflection in order to achieve perfect holograms or
even invisibility.
I also get the impression that a phenomenon like telepathy or remote
viewing is used because the apparition is aware of the environment. Perhaps
the people of tomorrow can project themselves this way, the way we send
live transmissions. Perhaps I have materialised like this on many occasions
and been mistaken for a ghost.


Ape-schooling and a future Ganges

One of the most prominent and recurring memories I have in terms of
experiences are of a strange place that resembles the banks of the holy river
Ganges. Around this area, strange blue people resembling Hindus bathe by a
sacred river while highly evolved seals and apes freely interact. I cannot be
certain if this is on another planet or somewhere in the future, but the only
147
thing we know of, pointing to this, is perhaps the Hindu heaven--Nirvana.
Hindu art does often feature such a place in their paintings where noble
bluish beings reside by lakes in a type of paradise.
The thing that strikes me most is that it is always the same place, a highly
familiar location with recognisable features. I am taken there during the Oz
Factor and witness magic among ongoing tasks that we as humans are not
familiar with. Alien creatures resembling seals with great wisdom rest along
the banks with the also-wise blue people. Nearby, there is a race of man-
beasts who wander freely and live in the forests. They are not savages but
intelligent, talking apes which I suspect are newly evolved from monkeys
and being schooled in some way.
I once thought of the river, the Hindus, the seals and the apes of being
separate experiences, but now I realise they are all part of the same place.
This is a particular area of great wisdom and benevolence, an actual location
that humans dont know about. Its familiarity screams at me at times and
there are moments when I almost realise where and what it is. Sadly that is
it. The dj vu sensation is rudely snatched away and I am left confused and
in the dark again. I will get to know that Nirvana place one day.


The future of aeronautics

It probably comes as no surprise that aircraft develops rapidly in the future
because it is that way now. The opinion I had of future aircraft is that they
get bigger, much bigger. I previously commented on seeing twin-bodied
airliners in the sky, but since then it became even more fabulous. Between
huge wings, I have seen triple bodies, even additional wings where the craft
was both longer and much wider. With such a gigantic aircraft with its
relative weight and passengers, you would expect an earth-thundering roar
of engines, but they are much quieter than our own. I dont remember seeing
any propulsion. During the times where I have witnessed UFOs, they were
immensely large without any sound or signs of propulsion. Maybe we soon
learn a profound lesson from the space mans craft and their technology.
In addition to the size of these new planes and the technology, I have
witnessed miraculous rescue operations of other aircraft. On one occasion I
witnessed (from a TV screen during a strange documentary) a smaller
aeroplane in trouble and a larger one coming to its rescue. The periled
148
aeroplane, similar to our own in size was shooting upwards leaving a trail of
black smoke behind when a much larger craft swooped above it with
astounding speed and latched on to its roof magnetically with a type of
suction device below. The older and smaller plane with its doomed engines
was carried off to safety. I guessed that passenger craft of the future have
ways to detect if another plane is in trouble and have the means to rescue it
if needed.
Apart from the magnetic suction device which I think is already used in
military aircraft, there is nothing we send into the sky that can manoeuvre
that way. The larger craft demonstrated fantastic speed without any
acceleration rate as though it swerved upon a magnetic field. Now theres a
thought.


Going inside the future city

There was a fantastic experience I commented on earlier that displayed the
credentials of both science and high strangeness. I found myself in what
seemed the globe-like cabin of a spacecraft descending into a futuristic city.
The buildings were awe-inspiring and commercially gigantic where I
actually saw the McDonalds food chain take up an entire boulevard. There
was more to this story than I struggled to remember. Since then, some of it
has crystallised with intriguing revelations.
I had the ability to project from that craft into any of the buildings below. It
is unclear how I chose which one but I immediately found myself inside
without any knowledge of the transition. My surroundings were a type of
living quarters inhabited by people who obviously didnt know I was there. I
would have described my entrance as dramatic, similar to a sudden rush of
wind, but I seemed to be the only one aware of this. As far as this scenario
went, I was a phantom inside a strange futuristic home.
It was a living quarters, with a very pleasant ambiance and a soft light that
came from nowhere--a phenomenon I no longer wondered about. The people
inside seemed strange; they walked about completely naked showing an
unusually pale skin with striking ginger-red hair. I counted about five, male
and female, possibly a family. They appeared to be acting no differently to
the way any family would act at home, only without clothes. Perhaps I
wasnt there long enough to make entire sense of the scenario or get a gist of
149
what engaged them (no signs of dining, TV, computers, etc.) but I
remembered hearing in the background the most unusual and beautiful
music. I couldnt find the source. From all around came this catchy tune that
I couldnt mimic, no vocals, just instruments that sound nothing like any of
the synthesisers we have today.
That was all my memory would allow of this scene. What I witnessed was
perhaps a striking glimpse of the tomorrow people, either alien hybrids or
simply a new generation looking and acting quite differently. The only
things convincing me that this wasnt an alien planet were the hallmarks of
modern Earth life that I recognised such as the McDonalds logo. That one
trademark was perhaps the most absurd yet memorable part of the trip
making me realise that this was definitely Earth of tomorrow.



Future incarnation in UFO event

Reincarnation is one aspect of the paranormal that I have not considered
enough although I believe that many times I have experienced events from
the perspective of others. This particular experience led me to the belief not
of a past live but perhaps a future one:
My memory (as often) brought me into the middle of a scene involving
hoards of people whom I was trying to conduct and protect. It was night-
time at some sort of military base where dozens of uninvited civilians had
arrived quite unexpectedly. I was one of a number of military personnel
guarding a sealed-off area where an unknown, brightly lit craft had either
voluntarily landed or crashed. The scene was pandemonium and I believe we
(the military) were alerted at very short notice about this landed craft. We
had expected neither the situation nor these trespassing civilians and I
remembered feeling quite embarrassed and defensive about the situation.
Like many scenarios of this nature, the before and after was absent, so I can
only guess what this was about, even though it seemed obvious. It was one
of those security alerts involving a crashed craft like the famous Roswell
incident where the military were called out to intervene and deny the
incident to witnesses. I was a soldier of the future or even of the past who
had the job of being the bad guy, silencing or lying to witnesses. I
150
remembered feeling angry about their trespassing and interference knowing
that I could not deny the glaring and obvious alien craft behind me. It was a
futile task but I knew full well there were higher brass I had to report to who
would certainly reprimand us all if a successful smokescreen was not
delivered.
Who on earth was I, or more importantly, when was I? I briefly remembered
one of the other officers addressing me as Carl and my physical appearance
was quite different. I was tall and dark-haired, with a moustache, dressed in
what seemed to be a blue uniform like the Royal Air force. Interestingly, the
landed craft that I tried to keep secret from the public, I seemed to know
something about and I didnt find myself awestruck by its presence. This
alone points to something of tomorrow because todays military are not that
familiar with these things. At least not that we know of.
The brightness of the craft made it incredibly difficult to conceal, turning
night almost into daylight. It resembled a dome with brighter flashes of light
emitting periodically from its body. Looking at it would have been harsh on
the eyes but my job was to keep the civilian crowd in order and I seemed to
know what it was. This is fascinating.
Either a parallel life, a future incarnation, or a memory of a past life, I could
not say. Whatever or whenever, it still seems that the military will be at the
cutting edge of UFOs and their technology.



The influence of Masonry revealed

Throughout Earths history, secret covens and Masonic bodies have had a
great deal to do with religion and societys development. Ancient Egypt, the
Knights Templar and the Dead Sea Scrolls have had important parts to play
in the worlds history yet have been shrouded from day one. I believe this
changes in the future.
The more we truly learn about the occult the less secret these societies will
become. There will come a day where the sacred powers that Masons are
involved with will be shared with those responsible enough. The Masonic
lifestyles will become the norm because society gravitates that way.
Hindus and Buddhists play an enormous part in popular religion and branch
151
out onto Christianity. Some religions will even merge. I have also seen the
choice of daily dress involving robes and saris, albeit futuristic ones.
The following snippets of information are partly new and partly to do with
previous experiences from earlier chapters. What I find interesting is that
there seems to be a consistency regarding places and themes. They reoccur a
number of times, and I feel this speaks volumes about premonitions and the
future:


Mountainous planet with purple sky

There is a strange but familiar location I have visited on more than one
occasion of a heavy dry atmosphere, endless rocky terrain and an
unforgettable deep purple sky. It is safe to say that this could be another
planet because there is nowhere on Earth quite like it. However, we could be
looking at a post-apocalyptic Earth with an ecosystem so badly damaged that
even the sky changes colour?

Photographic stills...of moving images

The handheld photographs (stills) of tomorrow are no longer still. I have
seen, similar to classic films about magic or fairytales, 3D moving images
within the flat photograph. There are some very huge leaps with
photography in the future involving holograms and 3D cameras.


Telepathy and better understanding

Telepathy will be commonplace in the future, so that emotions and meanings
can become properly conveyed rather than misinterpreted. From my
experiences, I have come to the conclusion that all disputes and
disagreements are the result of misread signals and meanings. Telepathy is
the ultimate in understanding. It transcends all languages and expressions
and nobody is ever asked to repeat themselves. Messages can be delivered
152
through oral-telepathy (voices in the head) or impression alone.
When we properly acquire this gift, I doubt there will be any more mysteries
to discover.


Flotation in air

There will come a time where we overcome gravity and make the natural
forces work with us instead of against us. I have seen airborne flotation used
for both industry and leisure.


Strange hybrid cattle

In the strange realm I termed Nirvana, with the sacred river and mysterious
blue beings, I believe there are some sort of cattle. I have seen non-descript
animals grazing in huge fields that are neither from our world or our time.
They resemble a type of mammoth, only much larger with an ill-
proportioned head. Their bodies are nearly three times the size of an average
elephant, yet their heads resemble a camels and are only slightly larger. All
of them have the same brown fur and appear to be docile grass-eaters there
to be farmed. If this is the future and is related to Hindus, I would be
surprised if these animals are bred to be eaten.
No doubt there is a farming master plan of which I have only seen a
fragment.


To date, this is the extent that my memory will allow for the above
premonitions. Like any other hidden memories, further premonitions will
surface in their own good time. I dare say there are more memories of
tomorrow that will annoyingly reveal themselves while this page is still
warm off the printer. I can only hope that the new batch of forecasts will be
relevant, revelations of coming disasters that I could perhaps help avert. But
then, I do not choose, I only experience.
153

I believe that when we experience premonitions, they are only possible
future scenarios and not the un-bendable definite fate of tomorrow. Realitys
timeline is littered with possibilities and could-have-been scenarios (parallel
realities) from which we steer, both good and bad. In other words, we all live
through the luckily avoided tragedies which we take for granted as well as
missed opportunities. Premonition can be a fantastic tool if it helps us to
recognise both possibilities and warnings.

Only time will tell.





















154

About the Author


Now at the age of 36, there is little to be said about the author or his life as
he has lead what would appear to be an unfulfilled existence lacking in the
achievements and developments most of us go through.

On the other hand there is this life.





Despite a life-long interest in the paranormal, the author was convinced that
the events of his strange preoccupation only happened to those in high
places and not his own mundane existence. What he did not realise was that
this programmed idea also came from above.

The Otherness was not just about another side of the reality we know but the
hidden other life of the author himself. So much goes on in the realm of
dreams and the subconscious that maybe we all lead a double life. The
author walked right into his!

Telling a fanciful story of friendly Martians coming to save us would have
had its charms but nothing is ever that simple. Interaction is a complex but
marvellous thing which demonstrates through cryptic communications that
masonry, ancient folklore and the paranormal are all quiescently linked.