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UNCOMFORTABLE CONVERSATIONS
EARL
STOREY
To be involved
in reconciliation
means to be
willing to take
ownership
of pain. That
is where the
really difficult
and painful
conversation is
what they have done, to witness the raw pain from such
a terrible wound inflicted on a family. It was not about
revenge but about appreciating the cost of violence on
another human being.
More recently I was really taken by surprise listening
to a neutral foreign visitor address a gathering. When
asked to reflect on the state of the Peace Process, the
visitor said in a very definite tone, One of the things you
have to come to terms with here is . . . guilt.
To be involved in reconciliation means to be willing
to take ownership of pain. That is where the really difficult and painful conversation is.
In Rwanda, there seems to be an agreed narrative
about the awfulness of what happened in 1994. No one
tries to justify or excuse what happened. There is no
appetite for calling it something other than what it was.
This honesty is a vital part of what makes reconciliation
possible. This seems to be absent here. Yet airbrushing
the past will impede rather than enable reconciliation.
What is this Peace Process about? Is it about breaking a
historic cycle of division, hatred and violence? Or is it to
be little more than a breathing space until the next round
of fighting? The decision depends on having that most
uncomfortable of conversations where we own not
only our own pain but also that which we have caused.
So does the Republican Movement want to be a reconciler? It talks much about armed struggle. Armed struggle is by neighbour and against neighbour. By its very
nature it is deeply wounding. Facing and owning the
wounds caused is the start of a conversation. Anything
else is just talk.
Reconciliation is the only way to live together. The
only way to finish our conflict Archdeacon John
Marara (Rwanda)
Reverend Earl Storey is Director of Hard Gospel,
a Church of Ireland project to help in building
reconciliation throughout communities troubled
with sectarianism.