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FAITH-BASED WORKER AND FDR Notes

18 yrs in priesthood
Seminary work
San Carlos Seminary in Makati - teacher
Assignment to Netherlands soon two months learning the
dutch language to pass the exams in the embassy
Missionary work a lot of experiences

Parochial work in the parish


Openness to learn new language, to accept different
cultures
Experience in family dispute resolution

Priesthood one of shepherding who gathers and


teaches the people he serves
o Pastor protestant churches

Shepherding the role of a priest as a


COUNSELOR

Life similar to jesus provides counseling


services to the public
Guy stood up and talked about his hatred towards his
father

What are you doing here ugly mammals?

We had to involve the father, he only goes there


once a month
Father and two sons and the mother had to look for
120,000 php a month for the charges there

Compulsory for seminary boys and girls


Pastoral counseling only arises when the people
feel the need for it
o Children, parishioners, friends of
parishioners
o Only a few go to churches for
counseling, between 5-10% (100 out of
1000)

Techniques used in counseling

Active listening very first one


o They come to churches because at
home and in the office they are not
listened to, and they have stories to tell
o We should make them feel that we are
listening

Body language
o A table should not separate the
counselor and counselee
o Comfortable chairs physical comfort
o Open arms (do not cross your arms)
o Eye contact (show interest)

Using of open questions


o In order for the counselee to say more
o Example: what do you think in your
family may be considered impt to you?
Vs. is your father irresponsible?
o I understand your problem with your
father, could you tell me about it?

Ability of counselor to paraphrase


o Quick to clarify things
o Summarize and put impt points

Note taking
o Make it a point that the counselee is not
distracted by your note taking, para the
flow of your convo is not interrupted

Give a homework
o Woman has a husband, told the woman
to tell the husband to come to him
o Most of them are not open to this kasi
they want it to be a secret

Counseling flow

Individual (get their point of view)


o Difficulty: you cant tell if one is lying
How pastoral counseling is distinct

Spiritual aspect is included (bibles and teachings


of the church as a background, particularly on
morality)
o Example: teacher wanted to separate
from husband, naging bastos yung
husband
o Ito ba ay ground for annulment? Law of
marriage: what god has joined, man
cannot separate it

People, when they have problems, among the


people that they wanna talk to, priests are
included
o 3 million hours secular techniques and
spirituality are combined

Counseling should always be through SYMPATHY


(compassion)
o St. Paul: rejoice with those who rejoice,
mourn with those who mourn (Romans
12:15)

Treat people as people, persons as persons (not


like other fields na based on theory like Pavlovian,
etc.)
CHALLENGES OF BEING A PASTORAL COUNSELOR

Limited knowledge of psychotherapeutic skills


o Other priests think their work is merely
sacramental, thats a problem.

Confidentiality
o Issues like child abuse,
homicidal/suicidal thoughts, nagkakaroon
ng question of confidentiality
o Dilemma: Irereport ko ba ito?
o Minsan kasi, after ng confession, may
counseling na. So nahihirapan if covered
pa ba to ng counseling

Unrefined referral skills


o Priest feeling burned out, may mga pari
na akala nila sila mga salvador ng
mundo

Clarity of boundaries
o Especially in marital problems,
development of relationship with a priest
(transference of feelings?)
Scenarios

Talk to the wife first, choose the marriage


counseling
Xavier University BS Commerce major in Accountancy
Met a nun from Papua New Guinea, told him to go to
missionary work
He was sent to study in Rome, loves to travel
I love cultures and languages.
March 6 turning 50yo

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