Love First Intervention

Approach
Over seven percent of adults have disorders relating to alcohol, according to
the American Academy of Family Physicians. Many more abuse drugs or engage in
compulsive gambling. Instead of receiving help from concerned family members, they
may face scorn, confrontation or blame. According to the National Institute on Drug
Abuse, participation in inpatient treatment programs can help addicts kick the habit, but
they must enter those programs in order to get the help they need. Some addicts lack
this motivation, and their families may not help them get motivated.
The Love First intervention technique model strives to change all that. Here, the family
and friends of the addict put together concrete plans to help the addict improve, and
they present that information in a firm and loving way. The families then put the plans in
action, making the change a reality. The method was developed in 2000 by Debra and
Jeff Jay and has been gaining traction since that time.

The Team
At the core of a Love First intervention is a team of concerned family members and
friends. The Love First method calls for at least three participants, but up to seven can
be involved. Small children are often not included in the team. Letter writing forms the
core of this method, and small children may not have the skills needed to do the job
properly. Members of the clergy, doctors, employers, friends and family members are all
common members of the intervention team, and one person is selected to function as a
sort of team leader. This person can be a hired intervention specialist, able to guide the
team during the planning of the intervention and making sure the intervention functions
properly, but a professionals help isnt explicitly required. The team typically meets
multiple times during preparation for the intervention, and all members must commit to
participating in all practice sessions and the intervention itself.

The Letter
Each person on the team is asked to write an intervention letter, and these letters form
the core of the Love First intervention plan. The letters have four parts:

A recap of the relationship between the addict and the writer. Here, the writer might
mention how they met, the great times theyve had together, the challenges theyve been
through together and how much they love one another.

A list of specific instances within the last year when the addiction caused the writer
embarrassment. It might be a public event, such as a drunken brawl or an arrest, or it might be a
private event, such as a spoiled phone conversation or ruined dinner.

Statements of concern. Here, the writer encourages the addict to look at the
consequences of the addiction and enter treatment. These statements typically focus on the
health consequences of addiction. They do not contain threats.

Bottom line. This portion of the letter appears on a separate sheet of paper. The writer
outlines specific consequences that will befall the addict if the behavior doesnt change. The
writer might take custody of the children, for example, or the writer might cut off all contact with
the addict.

Once the letters have been written, team members read them aloud to one another and
help one another edit letters for maximum impact. Phrases that seem hostile might be
removed and replaced with softer statements of encouragement. These letters are
incredibly important, and the team might spend several sessions editing and refining
these letters to make sure theyre perfect. The team may also spend a significant
amount of time thinking about the impact of the letters and determining the order in
which the letters will be read. Letters with the most emotional impact or leverage might
be read last, when the addicts resolve is at its lowest point.

The Planning
At the end of each letter, the addict is encouraged to enter a treatment facility that very
night. Rather than simply suggesting that the addict get help and stop the behavior
soon, a deadline for participation is attached and the team does all it can to make that
plan easy to put into place. Love First participants choose an inpatient program, and
they do their homework to make sure the addict can enter the program right after the
intervention is over, with no excuses. The team might:

Make an admission appointment for the

addict.

Check insurance benefits for the addict.

Pay the admission copayment. The addict may not agree to pay for treatment alone, so
all team members may chip in to cover expenses.

Schedule time off at the addicts place of work. This may not be legal in all states, so the
family must tread carefully here.

Pack a bag for the addict to take to the treatment center.

Send copies of intervention letters to the treatment center.

Determine who will drive the addict to the center, and print out a map to help the trip go
smoothly.

Set up kennel reservations for the addicts dogs and cats.

Arrange childcare for the addicts children.

The team ensures that all of the small details are taken care of, so when the addict
agrees to the intervention, he or she can simply be whisked away immediately. The
team thinks of answers to any and all excuses the addict might provide to stave off an
impatient treatment program, and then makes plans to solve all problems and resolve all
concerns. If the addict claims he or she doesnt have insurance coverage for treatment,
for example, the family can outline the methods theyll use to pay for treatments. This
excuse will have even less traction in 2014, when the Affordable Care Act will require
insurance policies to include substance abuse treatment benefits.

The Intervention
The addict is asked to come to a neutral meeting place, and the intervention begins.
Unlike other methods of intervention where the form is loose and the addict and the
family are allowed to interact informally, the Love First method has a strict agenda to
follow. The team leader provides a small introduction, telling the addict why everyone is
gathering together, and then the real work of the intervention begins. One by one, each

family member stands up and reads the letters. At this point, the bottom line portion of
the letters is not read.
If at any point the addict agrees to enter the inpatient treatment program, the
intervention is immediately concluded and the addict is taken away. This may mean that
not all letters are read, but the addicts treatment program still has copies of all letters.
If the addict refuses to enter a program, the family moves on to read the bottom line
statements. Jeff and Debra Jay say this happens in less than five percent of cases, but
it can provide a dramatic moment in the intervention. Here, the family tells the addict
directly about all of the things he or she will lose if the behavior doesnt stop. The family
must be prepared to keep these promises if the addict will not change.
If the addict begins to yell, curse or behave in an angry manner, the family refuses to
engage in the behavior and simply waits for the addict to stop speaking. The family then
moves forward with the reading of letters. If the addict leaves the confrontation, one or
two people leave with the addict and encourage him or her to return.
Some interventions can last for hours, as the letters are read and the addict interrupts or
interjects his or her own opinions. It can be difficult to stay impassive during these
moments, but the practice sessions the team has held can allow the family to make
these moments slightly easier.

In Treatment
One the addict enters the treatment program, the letters remain an important part of
therapy. If the addict expresses a wish to leave the facility, for example, therapists can
encourage the addict to read the letters first to strengthen the resolve to stay. If addicts
backpedal about the severity of disease, therapists can point to concrete behaviors
described in the letters and read the bottom line statements to reinforce the seriousness
of the situation.
If the addict has a relapse after the treatment program is over, the team may reconvene
for another formal session or the letters can be used once more. The family can simply
encourage the addict to read through the letters again, and the family can put the
bottom line statements back into play if the addict will not comply. In this way, the letters

form a sort of contract between the addict and the family, and they can provide a
powerful incentive the addict can use to keep the addiction at bay for good.

Bottom Line
This form of intervention requires the family to do a significant amount of planning and
plotting. Some families may find the time commitment to be a bit daunting, and they may
feel uncomfortable with the idea of taking over aspects of the addicts private life to
ensure that the treatment plans move forward. Other families may truly appreciate this
aspect of a First Love intervention. Instead of speaking in general terms about
treatment, they are planning a treatment program in advance and setting the wheels in
motion. Families with a strong do-it-yourself streak may find this empowering.
While an intervention specialist isnt explicitly required, it may be advisable for families to
consult with a professional. Taking over some aspects of the addicts life for planning
purposes may be legal, but going too far could cause problems. An intervention
specialist can assist in these planning stages and help the family members determine
exactly what they can and cannot do. An intervention specialist may also provide
invaluable input during the letter writing stage, helping the family to craft strong letters
that both inform and persuade. An outsiders perspective could be truly useful.

http://www.interventionsupport.com/intervention-techniques/love-first-approach/
archives.drugabuse.gov/ADAC/ADAC13.html Approaches to Drug Abuse Counseling