liveline

THE MICHAEL JACKSON TO REMEMBER ...p. 23

A PUBLICATION BY ALDERSGATE METHODIST CHURCH

ISSUE 12 | OCT 2009 活力线

MICA (P) 156/08/2009

www.aldersgate.sg

OMG!
MUM IS E
I N G M
ASK
B E H ER
TO
R I E N D ON
F K!
O

ALDERSGATE CELEBRATES 30 YEARS | BLESSED TO BE A BLESSING

FAC E B O
(Yikes!)
... p.16

Aldersgate Methodist Church

雅德门卫理公会

Plus
98 Dover Road Singapore 139647
tel 6773 1964 | email liveline@aldersgate.sg
www.aldersgate.sg
SEX and THE PARENT you're a strawberry the dangerous
done reading this magazine? Who should be responsible Fragile and easily bruised world wide web
Pass it on to a friend, family or a colleague for inculcating good values when under pressure? A few tips on how to protect
in your children? ... p. 10 God is the answer ... p. 22 your kids online ... p. 30
 IN THIS ISSUE
OCTOBER 2009 | Issue 12

advisors
Pastor Chiang Ming Shun
Editorial
foreword
Pastor William Sam

editor in chief

Regulars
Leslie Chiang

managing editor
Shirley Pee

editors
03 METHODIST MINUTE Andrew Ang
Find out how the Methodist Church Geraldine Ang
in Singapore elects Bishops and Tiffany Ang
Gracia Chiang
Presidents. Teresa Chong
Derrick Ho
04 AROUND ALDERSGATE Loh Ka Wai
Beverly Ang shares her retreat Rudy David Wong
Yip Poh Lin
experience at the Montfort Centre;
Derrick Ho reflects on serving in contibutors
LiveLine; and learn more about AMC's Pastor Chiang Ming Shun
outreach efforts in Cambodia. Pastor William Sam
Beverly Ang
David Chan
20 LIFESTORY Eric Chiok
Wong Chong Kai and Wendy Wong Alvin Chua
share their journey to becoming parents. Derrick Ho

16
Mark Masillamoney
Shirley Pee
22 SHOUTOUT Charlie Tan
David Chan talks about the failings of Tong Su Yee
the 'Strawberry Generation'; and, how Teresa Wilborn
Wong Chong Kai
should we remember Michael Jackson? Wendy Wong

On the Cover Mark Masillamoney gives his take. Gordon Yuen

张慧芬

photography
Jacob Kong

Becoming a Better Parent

FACE OFF
What happens when your parents want to be
friends with you on Facebook? Will you say
yes? Clara Toh, Derek Lam and Rachel
CONTRIBUTING TO LIVELINE
Tan share their thoughts about being friends
with their parents/children on Facebook. If you have enjoyed reading by shirley pee
LiveLine and want to contribute

I
a short write-up on your Bible

Features
10 THE FIRST CURRICULUM
Pastor Ming Shun talks about being
responsible parents and how strong
families with strong values affect
society.
13 SACRED PARENTING
Pastor William Sam gives his take on
how to be a good parent.
reflections, your Pastoral Care
Group (PCG) activities or even
share a great place to shop, do
drop us an e-mail to let us know.
We’ll be most happy to liaise with
you for your valued contributions.
You can send your contributions
to liveline@aldersgate.sg
24 TRAVEL TALES
Tong Su Yee shares her experience of LiveLine is a publication of Aldersgate
travelling with a good friend in Cairns. Methodist Church, Singapore.
Views expressed in LiveLine belong
to the contributors’ and do not
29 ALL ACCESS necessarily reflect that of the church
or the editorial team. Materials in
Gordon Yuen discusses Internet safety; LiveLine may only be reproduced
Eric Chiok gives his take on Lakewood with permission from the editorial
Church's latest music compilation; SKS
team or the contributors.
Books recommends some good reads;
and Geraldine Ang shares a few ideas on
where to go and what to do during the Designed by christine chan
December holidays. Printed by pica digital pte ltd
remember the days when parenting
to most just meant providing simple
food and shelter; children were left
very much to their own devices. With
no television or computers to turn to, they
only have friends, together with whom
they’ll dream up games to fill their days.
They learn to share and to look out for
each other. They also learn to cope with
their studies with little or no help. They
grow up generally independent, reliable
and resourceful.
In this day, parenting is much harder.
Beyond providing food and lodging,
we supply in abundance entertainment
devices, we worry incessantly about their
academic progress, their emotional states,
their friends, the pimples on their face and
in extreme cases, we even map out their
entire lives. We want the best for them.
But what’s not to be neglected is the
right values that must be inculcated in
them. In this issue, Pastor Ming Shun talks
about how strong families with strong
values affect society at large and shares
the hows and whys we should equip
ourselves in order to play this role more
effectively (Page 10).
My friend’s child, at 7, already knows
he’s going to Oxford University and
everything is done for him to ensure he
gets there. Is this part of the reason for
the rise of the 'Strawberry Generation'
(Page 22)?
It is no surprise that our children lap
up all the online entertainment so eagerly.
The internet is both a boon and a bane.
Parents who are concerned about their
children’s exposure to objectionable
material online can consider Gordon
Yuen’s practical suggestions on how to
manage (Page 30).
Working on this issue of LiveLine
reminds me once again, of our Father’s
love for us – “If you then, being evil, know
how to give good gifts to your children,
how much more will your Father who is
in heaven give what is good to those who
ask Him!” Matthew 7:11
So as we strive to be good parents,
bringing up children in the ways of the
Lord, remember that all the goodness
that we want for our children, our Father
wants for us also. And all that we want
from our children, our Father wants from
us also.
Shalom.

OCTOBER 2009 | aldersgate.sg | 01

 Pastor’ s
reflection
Methodist
minute
牧师的反思：

from the desk of 蒙恩。授爱。齐祝福

Pastor Chiang Ming Shun 今年是个多姿多彩的年头。在我们欢
庆教会30周年的当儿，我们盼望透过
大而显著的形式与我们周围的人分享
上帝所赐的福。
因此我们在这一整年里进行30项
实际的祝福行动,使我们的社区受惠,
使荣耀归给上帝。我们派送空纸箱给
即将搬迁的杜佛路居民；我们也提供
小盒子让会友装满礼物,送给一所儿童
之家；此外我们还筹款帮助贫困的中
学生。

Q How does the Methodist Church in

远在柬埔寨金边，我们开设了第
一间卫理公会宿舍。那是一所特别为
柬埔寨人开办。由柬埔寨人经营的柬 Singapore elect Bishops and Presidents?
埔寨宿舍。
上帝仍然以厚恩待我们。今年我
们为雅德门卫理公会第一部福音车“

A
丹福”举行奉献礼。我们将在10月开 All ordained ministers who have been Elders for at least 10 years are eligible
音乐演奏会，将我们教会全新的电风 for election as President or Bishop. Elections for both positions are held
琴奉献给主。 every four years.
Two students at the Cambodian Methodist hostel (Read more on page 6). 这令我想起先知玛拉基的话。“ The President is elected by delegates at the Annual Conference while the Bishop is
万军之耶和华说：‘你们要把当纳的 elected at the General Conference by delegates from the three Annual Conferences.
十分之一，全部送入仓库,使我家中有 There is no nomination process or campaigning. During the Conferences, the inspi-

Blessed to be a blessing 粮；借此试验我，看我是不是为你们

敞开天窗，把福气倒给你们，直到充
ration of the Holy Spirit is invoked and all delegates vote by secret ballot. A list of all eli-
gible Elders is shown. The Elder with at least two-thirds of the vote becomes President

W
or Bishop for a term of four years. Voting is continued until someone has two-thirds of

HAVE YOU
e are in the midst of first church van, Denver. In October, 足有余呢。’”(玛拉基书3:10)
我们的上帝何等可畏！祂竟然 the vote. A President or Bishop may hold office for a maximum of three terms or twelve
a rather eventful year. we will have a night of musical perfor-
说“试验我！”并准备敞开天窗把福 years in total.
As we celebrated our mances to dedicate our church organ.

BEEN
30th anniversary, we This reminds me of what the 气倒给我们。 祂 实在是慈爱又慷慨的
sought to share God’s blessings to ev- prophet Malachi wrote, 上帝。

问 新加坡卫理公会如何选出会督与会长？
因此我们也理当作感恩的群体，

NAUGHTY
eryone around us in a big way. “Bring the whole tithe into the
We launched our 30 Blessings storehouse, that there may be food 慷慨地将神的爱与祂的道种在这世
Projects, a year-long effort to favour in my house. Test me in this," says the 界。

OR NICE?
our community in concrete ways and Lord Almighty, "and see if I will not
glorify God. We handed out card- throw open the floodgates of heaven
board boxes to help Dover residents and pour out so much blessing that

pack and move to their new home. We
gave boxes for members to fill with
goodies for a children’s home. We
collected money for needy secondary
school students. We also opened the
first Methodist Hostel in Phnom Penh,
Cambodia. This is a Cambodian hostel
run by Cambodians for Cambodians.
God has continued to bless us
richly. This year we also dedicated our
02 | liveline | OCTOBER 2009
you will not have room enough for it.”
(Malachi 3:10)
What an awesome God we have!
He says, “Test me!” He stands ready
to open the floodgates of heaven to
pour out blessing. He truly is a loving
and generous God.
We, in turn, should be a grateful
people who generously sow God’s
love and Word in this world.
答
凡受按立成为巡回长牧十年或以上者，都有资格成为会长或会督
候选人。这两个职分的选举每四年举行一次。年议会的会长是由
该年议会投票选举选出；会督则是在总议会中由三个年议会的代 December 25
表选出。 CHRISTMAS DAY SERVICE
选举过程中并没有提名或竞选活动。在年议会会议中，代表们靠圣灵的
(English/Mandarin combined service)
感动,以秘密投票的方式选举。候选人的名单被列出.中选的会督（或长牧）
See church bulletin for more details.
必须获得总议会（或年议会）出席代表人数三分之二的多数票。两个会督与
会长的任期同样都是四年一任。投票必须继续进行,直到有候选人获得三分
之二的多数票为止。会长或会督如果获选，可以连任两次，任期最长为十二
雅德门卫理公会第一部福音车“丹福” 年。
But whoever holds out to the end
will be saved.
matthew 24:13, tev
OCTOBER 2009 | aldersgate.sg | 03

aroundaldersgate
happenings in and
Special 30th Anniversary CELEBRATIONS photo gallery .... see page 8
Retreating into His Arms of Love
Beverly Ang shares her retreat experience at the Montfort Centre
E
arlier this year, I decided
to take a step of faith by
enrolling in AMC’s Bap-
tism and Membership
class, conducted by Pastor
Ming Shun. I had previ-
ously been baptised as an infant, but now
at age 19, I felt ready to publicly declare
my faith and allegiance to God. This time,
however, the confirmation would be out
of my own free will, instead of it being
solely based on my parents’ decision. To
prepare for the momentous event, I found
myself attending an overnight retreat at
Montfort Centre in March.
the montfort centre
Montfort Centre, an idyllic building tucked
away in tranquil surroundings made it an
ideal place for retreat and personal devel-
opment programmes. From the moment
I stepped into the compound, I keenly felt
04 | liveline | OCTOBER 2009
God’s presence. The rooms were simply
furnished, but comfortable and cosy. Each
room even exuded a personal touch, with
the occupant’s name displayed on the
door, as well as a welcome note, towel,
flower and biscuits. This was hospitality
at its best, and it aptly reflected God's
goodness and generosity towards Man.
a new and enriching experience
Over the two days at Montfort, we under-
God revealed Himself to me
through the tranquillity of my
surroundings — the pale silver
moon, the aroma of the coffee,
and the clean architecture.
went an intensive but highly interesting
crash course on Methodist doctrine, his-
tory, beliefs, and origins. This gave us a
complete picture of our faith and the
denomination which we belong to, so as
to groom us into well-informed members
of the Methodist church.
For most of us, however, the high-
light of the Montfort stay was the Silent
Retreat held the next morning. Before
breakfast, we were given the opportunity
MINISTRY FOCUS
to spend some time with God in com-
BY HIS DESIGNS
plete silence. Armed with our bibles, writ-
ing materials and journals, we were told
to meditate on 1 John 3:11–1 John 5:12 on
our own. Derrick Ho reflects on serving in LiveLine
I had never participated in a silent
J
retreat before, so this was a new and
une 2006. I had just returned of great minds is invigorating but at the
enriching experience for me. With noth-
from an 'escape'. Tired and over- same time, it also meant that there were
ing to distract me, I was able to give God
stretched in many ways, having trying moments — we’d ‘fight’ over how
100%, spending a good half-hour feasting
the opportunity to go on a six- topics should be covered, why this page
on the natural beauty around me. God
month student exchange programme was designed this way. Words were
revealed Himself to me through the tran-
in the U.S. was just the breath of fresh scrutinised, photos questioned, and
quillity of my surroundings — the pale sil-
air I had needed. I came back recharged, through it all, surely egos were bruised.
ver moon, the aroma of the coffee, and
but lost. I remember stepping back into Amidst the differences, the one
the clean architecture. It made me feel
church feeling somewhat out of place — thing the team has never failed to keep
incredibly loved by a God so great and
the church had grown much through the in mind is that this magazine is ulti-
majestic, and I literally felt enveloped in
Forty Days of Purpose (40 DoP) cam- mately written and designed to advance
His beauty, love and grace. The silence
paign during which I was not around. the kingdom of God. And through the
made me even more sensitive to God’s
It was also just about then that process, we — the tools — get sharp-
presence in my surroundings, and to His
LiveLine was launched. ened by Him, and by
beauty. That morning, I was able to fully
Flipping through the each another.
comprehend the lyrics, “You are beauti-
pages, I found myself The one thing Today, I am back in
ful beyond description, too marvellous for
words.”
drawn to the magazine. the team has the U.S. pursuing my
I later found out that
the magazine had been never failed Master's degree. And
as I reflect on the past
iT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL
The silent retreat did a world of good for
'contracted' out to a to keep in three years, it’s amaz-
my soul. With no distractions on-site, I
designer. Having taken
a class in magazine mind is that ing to see God’s design
in and for my life, as
was able to be rejuvenated and enlight-
ened by God. In my heightened state of
design while in the U.S., this magazine I serve to design His
sensitivity to His still, small voice, I man-
I thought: “Hey why
not see if the LiveLine
is ultimately magazine. The trip in
2006 was not only a
aged to glean many insights from the
allocated passage...which also happened
team needs another written and good repose; it was His
designer”. So Leslie
designed to way of preparing and
to be about love!
graciously took me in equipping me for a new
Furthermore, I was given the opportu-
nity to witness first-hand God’s love man-
and the rest is history. advance the ministry as well.
ifested through a fellow human being at
Since then I have been kingdom of As I spend the next
breakfast. The elderly caretaker of Mont-
helping to sub-edit and
God. couple of years away, I
design the magazine. am burdened for the
fort demonstrated God’s love through his
Designing LiveLine, magazine but excited
humble service as he cheerfully prepared
for me, has a surprisingly therapeutic to see what He has in store. To quote
delicious food for all of us and uncom-
effect. However, it would be a lie to say the lyrics, “He works in ways we cannot
plainingly washed all our dirty dishes. It
that serving in the magazine was always see”, the best way is to walk in faith and
was personally profound for me as I felt
wonderful. Sure, working with a team follow His designs.
God was showing me what He wanted
me to emulate. In a sense, God’s word,
which I had been reading prior to break-
fast, came fully alive throught the seem-
ingly nondescript caretaker.
My Montfort experience was an alto-
gether beautiful one. I feel happy and
blessed that I went, and I would like to
strongly encourage my fellow brothers
and sisters to do likewise if presented with
the opportunity. Do not hesitate, because
truly, nothing beats slowing down, listen-
ing to the Father’s voice, and retreating
into His arms of love.
BAPTISM & MEMBERSHIP CLASS
See Page 33 for upcoming dates Derrick poses with two mules in front of the University of Missouri Alumni Center.
OCTOBER 2009 | aldersgate.sg | 05
 AROUND ALDERSGATE

关怀牧养小组分享
TEACHING TECHNOLOGY
by Shirley Pee 以马内利/合一组 | 张慧芬

S 从一张脸孔到一家人
tarting up a computer, using a
mouse – it’s hard to imagine a
day without doing these in Sin-
gapore. But for youths from rural 在教会中我们看到许多我们称之
Cambodia who have not used a desktop 为“弟兄姐妹”的脸孔，但行动上
before, it’s all foreign. Our task was to in- 我们有否真把他们当弟兄姐妹？
troduce basic computer skills to youths 我常发觉自己没有做到。但与我有
from Prek Omperl. 同感者别气馁，因为我们有神的帮
The Methodist School of Cambodia 助，也有小组来实践爱的功课。
(MSC) was our training venue and when 从英国回来后，我们全家参加
the youths came, I must say I’ve yet to 了两个小组，旧的小组重组后，我
see more keen learners than them. They 们就参加了由叶定带领的“以马内
dragged their feet to tea breaks and 利/合一组”，参加的大多是青年
sprang back to the computer lab before 人，所以永坚和我算是“老青年”
the break was over. 。组员体恤我们家有大有小，就一
Despite their unfamiliarity with the 个月来我们家聚会一次，每次都有
English language, they valiantly took 很好的学习。
notes and reviewed them before they 对我而言，最大的收获是更
slept. Those with a better com- 认识几位弟兄姐妹。以 你们当中有人可能还记得一位
mand of the language would
I 去世了四、五年的苏爱婆婆，请让
前，一些青年如浩智、
often help translate for
learnt that 我分享她的一点事迹鼓励大家。婆
思捷、叶定等对我来
those struggling to keep
the ability to smile 婆当年和我们一起参加“爱家组”
说只是教会中的脸
up. And, the results
and appreciate what ，她老人家七、八十岁，华语不灵
孔，礼拜天微笑打
showed. By the end of
we have does not depend 光，行动不方便，但小组聚会她绝
招呼的对象，没有
the camp, the youths
on the external factors and 少缺席。虽然我们查经她可能听不
CAMBODIA OUTREACH 什么“血肉”，有
knew the names of
abundance of materials but on 太懂，但她总是专心聆听，有时分
点像两维的纸人。
the depth of trust and hope

Good Things Come in Pairs

the different computer 在小组中，有了交 享一些人生感言。最令我感动的
parts, learnt terminolo-
in our Lord in our hearts. 是，当我怀孕不适得卧床时，行动
谈、代祷的机会，
gies and even created
— lisa tan, 不便的她走了不少楼梯来探望我；
computer camp team 渐渐地，组员开始有
Powerpoint presentations member 血有肉，是真实的人 我坐月时她还煮鸡酒亲自拿来给我
As part of AMC's continued outreach to Cambodia, we opened a ministry complete with animation! 了。而且和美婷、志刚、 吃。这就是一家人。
hostel in Phnom Penh and ran a computer camp for youth from Prek Omperl Before the trip, we had learnt
that there was no internet access at the
宜樟、文辉等也有真诚的分 弟兄姐妹，如果我们每一个在
享，所以除了叶定和永坚所教授的 小组中都这样真实地关怀他人，在
MSC computer lab but we asked…and 圣经知识十分精彩之外，人与人之 教会中也如此联结，你说，我们的
A DREAM HOUSE by Teresa Wilborn received generously. Eventually, we were 间距离的拉近是最宝贵的。 小组、教会会不会讨神的喜悦？
able to chat with members of Youthpho-

I
t all started with a vision.
More than a year ago, Dr Seet Ai
Mee had a dream — the Lord showed
her a house where students coming
to study in Phnom Penh from provinces
throughout Cambodia could live.
Having attended the Methodist Girls
School in Malacca as a young girl, Dr
Seet saw the value of a Christian home
for students. Through the dream, she felt
the Lord was showing her a way to help
young Khmer students.
After months of searching, AMC
found a newly constructed house that
seemed perfect. Located only minutes
from the Methodist School of Cambodia,
the house is also near the Royal Univer-
sity of Phnom Penh and a few other insti-
tutions of higher learning. When pictures
were emailed to Dr Seet, she immediately
recognised the house in her vision…it was
pink! She had not shared the colour of
the house with anyone, so her vision was
once again confirmed by the Lord.
In God’s perfect timing, prices fell
due to the economic recession and a two-
year lease was negotiated. By network-
ing with other Singaporeans supporting
hostel ministries, AMC was able to quickly
recruit Khmer Christians to provide man-
agement, supervision and around-the-
clock care as house leaders.
Students coming from Methodist
communities across Cambodia will be
given priority to stay at the hostel, but
it is open to all. Students will contribute
towards food and utilities while AMC will
cover the rent. Devotions are held each
morning and mission teams will conduct
discipleship training quarterly.
Cambodian Methodist pastors have
long expressed deep concern that stu-
dents coming from distant villages for
tertiary education needed help to safely
transition from rural to urban living — a
Methodist Hostel in Phnom Penh was the
answer to their prayers!
In August, the first Methodist Hostel
in Cambodia was formally dedicated by
Bishop Robert Solomon. Rev Ming Shun
and Rev William, Dr Seet and I represent-
ed AMC at the service. Local students
provided songs of praise and testimony
as more than 50 guests gathered to wit-
ness this joyful occasion.
The opening of this hostel coincides
with AMC’s 30th anniversary, and the
church’s anniversary theme “Blessed to
be a Blessing” shines forth on a brilliant
yellow banner hanging prominently near
the entrance.
CAMBODIA OUTREACH INFO
If you wish to contribute in any way,
please contact Teresa Wilborn at
teresa.wilborn@methodist.org.sg
ria and Philip Khoo’s Disciple One class
online. The event that left an indelible
mark on me was the Korean-style prayer
that was offered up together with those
at FirePlace via the webcam.
I left Cambodia feeling burdened —
there is much to be done. The comput-
ers at MSC are old. Children need educa-
tion. Many still do not know Christ. Yet I
feel hopeful. Many churches are sending
teams to Cambodia. Much has been done
and God-willing, more will be done.
CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT
Cambodian students participating in
the computer camp; Students at the
Methodist hostel; Daniel with a group
of students; The pink hostel in Dr Seet's
dream; Cambodian youths show-off their
artwork created using MS Paint; Dany at
the computer; Rev. Phillip Lim and Dr. Seet
at the opening of the Methodist Hostel.
PASTORAL CARE GROUP SPOTLIGHT
agape ii pastoral care group | by charlie tan
A LISTENING EAR + A HELPING HAND
the sick in the hospitals and homes,
comfort the lonely, evangelise the lost
and minister to the inmates in charity
institutions. One of the most frequented
nursing home is the Bethany Methodist
Home. Our generous members also do-
nate food and other daily essentials to
Agape II Pastoral Care Group is the needy.
an open-cell designed to care and help Praise God for helping the members
people cope with their problems and understand the meaning of service and
walk with the Lord. It also emphasizes ninety percent of them serve as ushers
worship, prayer, sharing and fellowship or befrienders.
and serves as an extension of the pasto- As Lisa, one of our members, puts
ral care ministry of our local church. it, “God’s love is radiated through mem-
The members of the cell provide a bers of our PCG. Let us share this love
listening ear and offer a helping hand to the larger world beyond the church
for those who need assistance. We visit body.”

06 | liveline | OCTOBER 2009 OCTOBER 2009 | aldersgate.sg | 07

 AMC CELEBRATES

30 Years of Blessings

08 | liveline | OCTOBER 2009 OCTOBER 2009 | aldersgate.sg | 09

 { by pastor chiang ming shun }

first
The

Curriculum
Parents need to take on the responsibility of
inculcating good values in their children so that they may
walk on the path of righteousness

10 | liveline | OCTOBER 2009 OCTOBER 2009 | aldersgate.sg | 11


the Bible
says in Proverbs 17:6, “Children's children
are a crown to the aged, and parents are the
pride of their children.”
We all know how important families are.
Parents want to bring up their children well,
and make a real positive difference in their
lives. They want to be proud of their chil-
dren, just as children are proud of their par-
ents. Grandparents want to be surrounded
by happy grandchildren. The world certainly
needs upright and godly families to positive-
ly influence society and culture.
Unfortunately, perhaps the reverse is
more commonplace — society and culture
Go Dutch
According to the 2008 State of World Population report issued by the United Nations Population Fund,
the Netherlands has the lowest teen birth rate among the six European nations with the highest gross
domestic products. There is an average of five births for every 1,000 women between the ages of 15 to 19.
9 7 24
GERMANY FRANCE U.K.
12 | liveline | OCTOBER 2009
influence upright and godly families, and
not for the better but for the worse.
THE ISSUE OF SEX
So much has already been written and said
about the influence of the media and Holly-
wood on the way we view sex. Sex is no longer
a special intimate act of a married couple. It
is a casual encounter between strangers; an
experiment in depravity and debauchery; an
alternate lifestyle choice.
We now give children technology which
opens them to sexual wantonness. Pornog-
raphy is so readily available on the internet
Births per 1,000 women aged 15–19
6 9 5 5
SPAIN ITALY NETHERLANDS SINGAPORE
source: united nations population fund; world bank.
that even primary school children can look
up free porn on computers.
We have also read stories of chat rooms
that allow sexual predators to meet chil-
dren. Too many teenage girls have no com-
punction chatting up strange boys/men and
meeting them for sex.
Even ordinary teens are experimenting
with sex earlier. According to The Straits
Times article, “Sex Talk is Where the Atti-
tudes Start” (18 Aug 2009), virginity is even
sold on eBay.
THE ROLE OF THE PARENT
Who teaches children about these things?
More and more often, we expect schools to.
Schools in Singapore engage external ven-
dors to teach our children internet safety
and sex education.
What has happened to the role of the
parent?
Maybe it is because we have world-lead-
ing schools that take children away from the
home for an extended period, so much so
that parents leave it to the schools to bring
up their children. Teachers are now expected
to not only cover curriculum subjects, but be
mentors to build character and mould lives.
After all, our world-class economy requires
parents themselves to be away at work for
most of the day and into the night.
THE FIRST CURRICULUM
In his book, Risk-Proofing Your Family, Dr.
Donald Joy writes of the “First Curriculum”,
a powerful unwritten curriculum that en-
compasses the life experiences of a child. He
uses that term to refer to the three gifts of
Parents, Intimacy and Sexuality in the Im-
age of God.
Today, I think the first curriculum for
children should be right values, and two key
values are Accountability and Responsibil-
ity.
The Bible tells us in Proverbs 22:6, “Train
a child in the way he should go, and when he
is old he will not turn from it.”
THE PATH TO RIGHTEOUSNESS
What is the way a child should go? It is his
or her own God-created unique way. It does
not mean the child is allowed to run amok,
but instead, to grow into all that God wants
the child to be.
This is only possible if there is account-
ability and responsibility in the family. Par-
ents have to be accountable to their children.
As Josh McDowell and Dick Day put it in
their book, How to be a Hero to Your Kids,
this means that parents have to be humble
and submissive enough to give their children
permission to “call [them] to account” when
parents act in an unloving, irresponsible
manner. As children watch parents being
accountable, they learn to be accountable.
Parents are also responsible for their
children. Parents are responsible for loving
them sacrificially, providing for them, edu-
cating them, and moving them to faith in
God. As children grow older, they will learn
and assume that responsibility for them-
selves. Children must become responsible
on their own, so that what they do with their
lives and the choices they make will be re-
sponsible ones.
To teach accountability and responsibil-
ity, there must be strong relationships. Par-
ents must be Available to show Acceptance,
Affection and Appreciation. Read the book
by McDowell and Day to see what these mean
in detail. What is essential is time - parents
must spend time with their children.
It is parents who must transmit values.
The Bible tells us in Deuteronomy 11:18-19,
“Fix these words of mine in your hearts and
minds; tie them as symbols on your hands
and bind them on your foreheads. Teach
them to your children, talking about them
when you sit at home and when you walk
along the road, when you lie down and when
you get up.”
Sacred Parenting
The secret to good parenting stems
from maintaining a close walk with God
by pastor william sam
S
acred Parenting by Gary L. Thomas
was one book that took the flight
with me to Phnom Penh, Cambodia
for the Methodist Hostel Dedication.
Just as the safety video finishes, I
found myself reading what the author
described as ‘spiritual oxygen’.
The author relates what Dr. Kevin
Leman once told him:
Parenting is like an airline emergency.
Before take off, every plane passenger
is instructed that if oxygen masks come
down, parents should put on their own
masks first before attending to their kids.
Why? Because in an emergency, kids
need their parents to be able to think
clearly and act effectively. If we don’t take
in oxygen, our thinking will grow fuzzy, and
If we neglect our own ‘spiritual oxygen’ — our
walk with God — our motivations will become
polluted. Our ability to discern, empathize, en-
courage, and confront will waste away.
THE DUTCH MODEL
What then will the outcome be?
Netherlands has one of the lowest teen-
age pregnancy rates in the world. It is claimed
that Dutch sex education is more open, ex-
plicit, graphic and delivered in schools from
an early age. This is a myth.
Sex education may have very little to do
with it. Published and unpublished research
indicates that sex education does not reduce
sexual behaviour among teenagers and may
even contribute to increased sexual activity
among girls. In the same way, health educa-
tion on tobacco and dieting may not change
lifestyles for the better. Knowing something
and acting on that knowledge are two differ-
ent things.
The facts are that Dutch parents are
free to set up their own publicly-funded in-
our kids who are dependent on us to get
it right will ultimately suffer.
What’s true in the air physically is
equally true on the ground spiritually. If
we neglect our own ‘spiritual oxygen’ —
our walk with God — our motivations will
become polluted. Our ability to discern,
empathize, encourage, and confront will
waste away.
I’m reminded once again of the impor-
tance of maintaining a close walk with God
if I truly desire to parent well.
I have bought a few gifts for both my
girls in my recent trip to Cambodia. But
the message I received from the Lord on
this missions trip is that the best gift I can
ever give to my children will be a solid
walk with God.
dependent schools according to their own
beliefs and values. In the Netherlands, the
influence of the churches and involvement
of parents are also much stronger.
In addition, the Dutch have stronger fam-
ily structures and more traditional patterns
of family life compared to other European
countries. Perhaps this is why they also have
a lower proportion of single-parent families,
out-of-wedlock births, and divorces.
Strong families with strong values do
affect how the whole society turns out.
Therefore parents must be more involved in
instilling the right values in children. That
must be their responsibility.
So why not go learn more about good
Christian parenting? Read a few books. At-
tend some courses. Train yourself to train
your children in the right values.
OCTOBER 2009 | aldersgate.sg | 13
 为人父母的神圣职责

第 要孩子们走当行的道，父母必须付起向子
女灌输正确价值观的责任 父母务必以舍己的
岑建良牧师

在前往柬埔寨金边参加卫里公会宿舍

一
奉献礼的行程中，葛芮汤母斯(Gary L.

爱爱儿女，供应他
Thomas)著作的书《为人父母的神圣
言17章6节说：“子孙 现象越来越普及。本地的学府也因而 职责》(Sacred Parenting) 成了我在空
为老 人的冠冕。父亲 转向外来机构为孩子提供网络安全意 中的旅途良伴。
是儿女的荣耀 。” 识及性教育的课程。 当机上的飞行安全短片播映结束
我们都知道家庭的
重要性。家长希望采
取正确的方式养育子女，为他们生命
是什么改变了父母亲的角色？
或许是本地顶尖学府无形中把父母
和子女的距离疏远了，导致父母没法
们、教育他们、引 时，我刚好在阅读书中作者形容为“
心灵氧气”(spiritual oxygen) 的一段内
容。

堂
带来正面的影响。子女能让父母引以 儿，只好交由教育界来带大子女。如 作者阐述了凯文雷曼博士 (Dr Kev-
为傲，父母也期盼成为子女的荣耀。
同样的，祖父母希望老来有着快乐孙
子女的陪伴。这个世界确实需要正直
今，教师除了得灌输课业内容，还得
培养品格、塑造生命。毕竟我们的世
界级经济也要求父母日以昼夜地忙着
导他们信靠神。 in Leman) 曾对他说的话：“为人父母
就好比飞机紧急事故。飞机起飞前，
乘客都会被提醒：如果氧气口罩自动
敬神的家庭正面的影响社会及文化。 工作，没时间陪子女。 落下，家长们应该自己先戴上口罩，
不幸的是，也许相反的情况更为普 为人缺乏爱心，不负责任。当儿女看 荷兰是世界拥有最低青少年怀孕率 然后才帮孩子戴上。”
遍—社会及文化给正直敬神的家庭带 第一堂课 到父母承担责任，他们会效仿。 的国家之一。有人说那是因为荷兰人 为什么？因为在紧急事故中，孩
来了负面的影响。 Dr Donald Joy 在《风险防范你的家 此外，父母也必须为儿女尽责。 的性教育较为开放、写实，而更早被 子们需要父母以清晰的思路和有效的
庭》写道了“第一堂课”，指的是包 他们务必以舍己的爱爱儿女，供应他 学校采用。那是虚实。 行动帮助他们脱离险境。如果我们不
现代青少年对性的观念 含孩子成长期间不成文但极为重要的 们、教育他们、引导他们信靠神。儿 研究显示性教育并非能降低青少年 先确保自己有充足的氧
关于媒体及好莱坞对性观念的影响众 经验。其中包括家长、亲密关系及上 女长大后才晓得对自己负责。他们必 的性行为，甚至有提高少女性行为的 气，我们的思考能力就

课
所周知。性不再是已婚夫妇之间亲密 帝形象中的性别。 须成为对自己负责的人，这样他们才 可能。这如同关于烟草及节食危害的 会变得模糊，而需要我
的体现。它成为了陌生男女之间萍水 今时今日，我认为孩子们上的第一 会对自己生命中所行的事，以及他们 讲座不一定能为生活方式带来良性的 们指引的孩子最终将受
相逢的行为；成为了堕落淫逸的试 堂课应包括正确的价值观，而其中两 所作的抉择承担责任。 影响。知与行是两回事。 到伤害。
验；成为了另一的生活方式。 个便是负责与责任感。 要灌输承担责任与责任感，家庭关 荷兰家长能根据个人的信仰及价值 飞机在空中的紧急
我们给予孩子现代科技，也掀开了 箴言22章6节说：“教养孩童，使 系必须和谐。父母一定要愿意表达他 观自由的成立公立学校。当地教会及 情况，同样适用于人们
章 性放纵的途径。色情作品在网上垂手 他走当行的道，就是到老他也不偏离 们对儿女的接纳，关爱与欣赏。有关 家长的参与性也更高。 的心灵。如果我们忽
可得，甚至连小学生也能通过电脑索 。” 这几方面的详解，请阅读麦道尔与戴 如此可见，与其他欧洲国家相比， 略了自己的“心灵氧
明 取免费的色情信息。 迪克的书。关键在于父母一定要花时 荷兰人拥有更加坚固的家庭结构及传 气”— 与神同行 —
舜 在报章里，我们也看到性犯罪者利 孩童当行的道 间陪儿女。 统的家庭生活方式。也许这也是荷兰 我们的动力将会被削
牧 用清谈室与儿童接触。 愿意与陌生男 什么是孩童当行的道？这指的是上帝 向子女灌输价值观的应当是父 单亲家庭、未婚生育率及离婚率较低 弱。我们的辨识力、
师 士闲聊并发生性关系的少女更是不计 为他或她个人精心设计的道。这并非 母。如《圣经》申命记11章18-19节所 的原因。 同理心、鼓励人和应
其数。 表示随意纵容子女，而是让他们成为 说：“你们要将我这话存在心内，留 整个社会的健全与否，取决于灌输 变的能力都会减弱。
一般的青少年性行为也趋向低龄 上帝喜悦的儿女。 在意中，系在手上为记号，戴在额上 正确价值观并稳固家庭关系。 我再次被提醒: 要
化。根据《海峡时报》2009年8月18日 家庭成员必须承担责任并培养责任 为经文。也要教训你们的 儿女，无论 因此家长应当更积极地对子女灌 成为一个真正称职的家长，与神保持
的报道，甚至有女子在网络拍卖贞操 感，这才可能做得到。做父母的应当 坐在家里，行在路上，躺下，起来， 输正确的价值观。这必须是他们的责 亲密关系非常重要。
的惊闻。 向儿女负责。正如麦道尔与戴迪克在 都要谈论 。” 任。 我从柬埔寨买了一些礼物给我的
他们合著的《如何成为你儿女心目中 何不提升自己亲子关系的属灵知识 两个女儿。然而，神在这趟短宣给了
父母亲的角色 的英雄》一书中所写的：父母必须放 荷兰为模范 呢？阅读几本好书、参与一些课程， 我新的亮光：我能送给孩子的最佳礼
关于性这方面的课题，究竟是谁在教 下身段，且存顺服的心，容许他们的 根据以上所述，结果会怎样？ 教育自己以教育孩子正确的价值观。 物，乃是我与神的亲密关系。
导孩子呢？家长把责任交托于学校的 儿女“要求父母解释”为何他们行事

荷兰在最富有欧洲国家中，青少年生育率最底
根据联合国人口基金会2008年的调查报告显示，荷兰在六大国内生产总值(Gross
Domestic Product)最高的欧洲国家当中，青少年生育率站最底。在每1000名15‑19
如果我们忽略
岁的荷兰少女中， 平均只有5人生育孩子。
1名生育孩子的少女
了自己的“心
（即每1000名15－19岁的少女）
灵氧气”－ 与
神同行 － 我们
的动力将会被
9
德国
7
法国
24
英国
6
意大利
9
西班牙
5
荷兰
5
新加坡 削弱。
来源: 联合国人口基金会；世界银行
14 | liveline | OCTOBER 2009
 W
hat do you do when your youth
spends too much of their free
time online?  
Go find out why they park themselves in
the cyber world. Better yet, get an account
off
on a social networking website and send
your children a friend request. Having an
account on Facebook is hardly useful unless
your kid accepts your friend request. How-
ever, fret not, our straw poll of 27 youths
show that 65 percent of them are willing to
add their parents as friends on Facebook.  
Clara Toh, 42, parent and full-time church
staff, Derek Lam, 17, student, Anglo Chinese
Junior College and Rachel Tan, 14, student,
Bukit Merah Secondary School, share their
views on how Facebook may be used to
connect two generations. 
当你的孩子花太多时间上网时，该怎
么做？
快点找出他们恋上网络世界的原因，
如果能通过社交网站和孩子做朋友，就更
好了。然而，单是在Facebook上有户头，
并不足够，还必须让孩子接受你要做他朋
友的邀请。事实上，我们向30名青少年所
做的抽样调查显示，64％愿意让父母成他
们Facebook上的朋友。
父母上网拉近和孩子间的关系，是否
会适得其反呢？这里让我们听听一名家
长和两名学生谈他们对父母子女间用Fa-

face
cebook沟通的看法。受访的是全职教会事
工Clara Toh（42岁）、英华初级学院学生
Derek Lam（17岁），及红山中学学生Ra-
chel Tan（14岁）。

Interviews by ALVIN CHUA

✒ POPULAR ONLINE TERMINOLOGY | 网上的常用词汇 AFK Away From Keyboard (unable to answer messages) 离开电脑(表示暂时无法回应) BFF Best Friends Forever 永远的好朋友 BLOG A personalised web log 个人的网上博客 FACEBOOK Online social networking site 社交网站 FYI For Your Information 供参考

16 | liveline | OCTOBER 2009 OCTOBER 2009 | aldersgate.sg | 17


✒ IMO In My Opinion 我的看法
18 | liveline | OCTOBER 2009
Clara Toh
42 | Full-time AMC staff & Mom
Are you friends with your
children on Facebook?  是的。感谢上帝，我的两个孩子都愿意让我
Yes, Thank God both my children are willing to
add me into their Facebook life. Amen!  parents as friends on Facebook.
What made you start using
Facebook?
It was mainly to connect with my friends from
Australia, USA, Malaysia and Canada, to know
how they are doing by seeing the photos they
posted on Facebook. A long-lost friend that
disappeared for 28 years, found me on Face-
book. We started chit-chatting and we plan
to meet up with my St. Nicholas Girls School
classmates in November.  聊天，还有在朋友心情差时，鼓励他们。
Facebook is also good for airing your
thoughts and letting all your friends know
how you feel. It provides a platform that allows
you to play games and challenge others. It's
a website that you can chit-chat with people
you seldom talk to face to face and a website
that you can also use to encourage people
when they are down.  你觉得青少年不想把父母加入
Do you think Facebook is useful in
reaching out to your children? 
Yes, definitely. Rachel (Clara’s daughter) was
away for a Student Exchange Programme in
Germany for four months. Facebook was a tool
that allowed me to see what was going on over
there. We also played Typing Race online —
Rachel, Reuben and myself for a family time!  孩子才愿意让你成为他们Facebook上的朋友。
A long-lost friend that disappeared for 28 years,
found me on Facebook. We started chit-chatting
and we plan to meet up with my St. Nicholas Girls
School classmates in November.  轻一代而设的，可能不适合年纪较大的父母。
TMI Too Much Information 太多资讯 TTYL Talk To You Later 迟些再谈
face to face
Do adolescents want to be-
What do you think is the biggest friend their parents on Face-
reason most adolescents will not book? Will they restrict their
want to add their parents parents' access to their Face-
on Facebook?  book accounts? Alvin Chua sur-
Most of the adolescents do not want their
parents to know their "secret" life — who their
veyed 27 youths from the ages
friends are and what they talk about. They 10 to 19 to find out.
65
think it is a disgrace if their parents chit-chat
with their friends. Some of them may have
photos with their boyfriend or girlfriend that
cannot be "exposed" to parents. They think
that adding their parents on Facebook will
RACHEL TAN %
14 | Secondary school student
intrude their privacy. You have to have a pretty
good relationship before your children are
willing to add you as friends on Facebook.   Are you friends with your PARENTS on Facebook? 
I would love my mother to be my friend on Facebook because it is quite
cool. Then she would know what I’ve been doing through my pictures.
你是子女在 Facebook 上的朋友吗？ If she comments on my pictures, my friend would see that she is hip
like us too. 
加入他们的Facebook名单。阿门。 of those surveyed would add their
你是怎么开始用 Facebook 的？ 你是父母在 Facebook 上的朋友吗？
主要是用来联络我在澳洲、美国、马来西亚 我希望妈妈能成为我Facebook的朋友，这样很酷。这么一来，她就能从
ONE
和加拿大的朋友。看着他们放上Facebook的照 照片中得知我在做什么。如果她在我的照片上写感言，我的朋友会觉得
片，就知道他们过得怎么样。我们也在网上 她和我们一样时髦。
聊天，还计划在11月和圣尼各拉女校的老同
学聚会。
Facebook也是抒发想法的好地方，能让所
有的朋友知道自己的感受。它也提供了一个
in three
平台，让你和朋友一起玩游戏，挑战对方。
在网上，也能和平时没什么机会见面的朋友
你觉得 Facebook 对亲子沟通有效吗？ of those surveyed cited 'privacy' as
这是肯定的。我的女儿Rachel在学生交换计划
DEREK LAM
下，到德国4个月。Facebook让我看到她在那 the main reason why they do not
里的情况，我们全家还一起上网玩游戏，享 want their parents to view their
受家庭时间。 17 | Junior college student Facebook pages, Twitter accounts
and blogs.
48
Facebook的主要原因是什么？ What do you think is the biggest reason most
多数孩子不想父母知道他们的“秘密”生 adolescents will not want to add their parents on
活，包括他们的朋友是谁及他们的谈话内
容。在他们看来，如果父母和他们的朋友聊
天，会让他们丢脸。他们和“男朋友”或“
Facebook? 
Teenagers don’t want to add parents because they don’t want their parents
to see everything they do. They are probably afraid that when their parents
%
女朋友”的照片，也不能在父母面前曝光。 see some pictures, they may get the wrong idea. If friends have pictures
他们认为把父母加入Facebook，会侵犯他们的 of them going clubbing, parents may think they are a bad influence.
隐私，因此，你必须先有良好的亲子关系， Parents may also start asking more about their children’s friends. Lastly,
Facebook is geared towards the younger generation. It may not be suitable
for parents of an older generation. 
你觉得青少年不想把父母加入Facebook的主要原因是什么？ of those surveyed would limit
他们不想父母知道他们做的每一件事。他们可能担心父母看到某些照片
their parents' abiity to view their
后，会产生误解。比如朋友放了一些上夜店的照片，父母可能会认为他们
是损友，还会问长问短的要知道更多关于朋友的事。何况Facebook是为年 account if they were friends with
one another on Facebook.
TWITTER A micro-blogging site where users post tweets or messages containing up to 140 characters 微型博客平台，可用它向追随者发放140个字母以内的简讯 YOUTUBE A video sharing site 分享录像短片的网站
OCTOBER 2009 | aldersgate.sg | 19
 LIFESTORY
birth pangs
by wong chong kai and wendy wong
A painful six-year journey filled with heartache and tears
culminates in the miraculous birth of a child
Wong Chong Kai and Wendy
Wong have always wanted to start
a family but it hasn’t been an easy
journey to parenthood. Several
fertility treatments over a period
of six years yielded only pain, an-
ger and four pregnancies, three of
which ended in miscarriages. The
fourth pregnancy was heartbreak-
ing as Isaac was stillborn and
Claire returned to the Lord after
17 hours. But God has been good.
Eight years have passed since the
birth of a child, Samuel, and here
the Wongs share their journey of
faith as a source of encouragement
to couples in similar situations.
❇❇❇❇
WENDY
Surrender AND Giving in to God
Chong Kai (CK) and I had never experi-
enced such an emotional roller coaster
before. We were exceedingly joyful
each time we conceived but numer-
ous episodes of threatened abortions
(bleeding) set fear in us.
The most heartbreaking moments
happened when my water bag ruptured
prematurely at 16 weeks and 23 weeks
for the 3th and 4th pregnancy respec-
tively. The foetuses were still alive in
me, but as a mother, I could not protect
them at all. The water bag was their
only protection and without it, every
movement I made (turning my body,
eating etc) was actually hurting them. I
cried out to the Lord with all my heart
for days and nights. Infection and fever
set in inevitably and our dreams for our
children were all dashed.
Well-meaning relatives and friends
tried to console us saying, “It’s alright”,
“It’s ok”, “Try again, you are still young”,
20 | liveline | OCTOBER 2009
ABOVE: The Wongs (Samuel, Wendy and Chong Kai) vacationing in Hokkaido, Japan
in 2008; Samuel Wong was born on May 11, 2001.
not knowing how much it hurt to hear
such words.
Yet, God used the departure of
Claire and Isaac to surface the hurts, bit-
terness, self-pity that I had harboured
all these years. I felt that I had to sur-
render or be consumed by all that I
was feeling. So we decided to trust and
believe, praying: “God you can heal us!
God you will heal us! God, we thank
you that the healing process has already
begun! Amen.”
❇❇❇❇
CHONG KAI
Never give up in prayer
“God can do it! God will do it! God has
already done it!”
We learnt this simple but power-
ful lesson through a Maureen Onions
seminar. The desire to have a child was
still very strong despite previous disap-
pointments.
In September 2000, we gathered
a group of friends to pray specifically
for a child. Soon, Wendy was six weeks
pregnant without seeking any fertility
treatment! We were overjoyed with
this wonderful piece of news! Yet, the
following 27 weeks were a journey of
faith, and the birth of Samuel was truly
a miracle.
Throughout the pregnancy, fear was
our greatest enemy as past experiences
haunted us. When she was 12 weeks
pregnant, Wendy had heavy bleeding.
We were fearful that the worst might
happen. Many thoughts ran through my
mind but Philippians 4:6–7 gave me the
peace within, assuring me that the Lord
was in control of the situation.
An ultrasound scan a couple of days
later found no traces of blood clots. The
doctor could only explain that “Some-
one up there took them away”. Deep
down in our hearts, we knew that God
was the only one who could perform
such a miracle.
Wendy went through a few more
emergencies, the most critical ones
were experiencing contractions in the
second trimester, and another bout
of heavy bleeding at week 30. And in
one of these episodes, I broke into cold
sweat at the sight and smell of the pool
of blood on Wendy’s bed. But Wen-
dy’s faith and her words, “Don’t worry,
I know it’s not time yet” were extremely
reassuring.
Throughout these episodes, 1 Peter
5:7 “Cast all your cares upon Him, for
he cares for you” reminded us to trust
God. It was such personal encounters
with God that carried us through.
❇❇❇❇
WENDY
GOD'S LOVE through His people
It was during these trying times that
we experienced God’s love through a
group of dedicated and God-fearing
brothers and sisters. They provided
tangible emotional support and practi-
cal help like bringing food, standing by
The foetuses
were still alive
in me, but
as a mother,
I could not
protect them
at all.
CK’s side even in the middle of the night
when we were going through critical
episodes. Most importantly they prayed
diligently with us for our unborn child
at every stage of his development. They
were pillars of strength and were always
there for us.
One important lesson we learnt
was not to ignore my husband’s emo-
tional needs. Very often, I received all
the attention and love but CK expe-
rienced joy and anxiety equally too.
Our prayer group recognised this and
do you
attended to CK’s needs. We are very
grateful to them.
❇❇❇❇
have a sticky
God — Our Master Healer
Indeed God is good — all the time. He question
you'd like
watched over the safe delivery of Sam-
uel on 11th May 2001. Though born 7
weeks early, he was healthy and well.
And his first cry was loud and strong
— very reassuring for us!
Throughout this pregnancy, God
answered?
has personally evidenced Himself as
our comforter, redeemer, our chief phy-
sician. He has healed us and restored
our faith.
❇❇❇❇
For you created my
inmost being;
you knit me together in
my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am
fearfully and wonderfully
made; your works are
wonderful,
I know that full well. Send them in to Liveline
at liveline@aldersgate.sg
— psalms 139:13–14 and we'll get them answered.
 SHOUTOUT
don't touch me
The problems facing the overprotected young adults of the
strawberrY gENERATION and how God can help
A
term that originated
in Taiwan, "Strawberry
Generation" was fre-
quently used to refer
to young adults born
in the 1980s. People of
this generation are said to be fragile and
easily bruised when faced with pressure,
just like strawberries.
These young adults have common
observable weaknesses such as the
inability to manage stress, the lack of
money management skills and a conspic-
uous absence of a plan for their future. All
these add up to them being a potential
burden on the society when this genera-
tion moves into their golden years.
Living for the here and now, they’re
concerned mostly with the pursuit of
their own happiness and material com-
While we live in a world
where change is the only
constant, the Strawberry
Generation needs to
know the One who
holds tomorrow.
22 | liveline | OCTOBER 2009
forts. Some who perceive themselves
inferior or are unable to take the stress
of demands and expectations choose an
early end to their lives.
One possible cause for the rise of
such a generation could stem from the
changes in the social and economic
environment. In the last few decades,
the family structure has evolved dramati-
cally — large extended families became
small nuclear ones; family sizes shrunk;
mothers joined the workforce and left
their homes in the charge of domestic
help; fathers worked long hours and are
often away from home. Children grew
up with little supervision and even less
parenting.
Parents, laden with guilt for not
spending time with their children would
tend to spoil them by trying to do
by david chan
everything for them, some even to the
extent of mapping out their children’s
entire lives.
With everything being taken care of,
they have no need to take ownership of
their future and not having experienced
hardship, they are ill-equipped to handle
finances or the stress that comes with
tough times.
There is an urgent need to inculcate
values of Resilience and Appreciation to
help this generation cope. We cannot
shield them forever. They have to take
the first step to assume accountability
for their lives. It is important that they
learn to appreciate the small things and
not to take anything for granted. When
they are able to do that, they will remain
positive in the midst of challenges and
struggles. While we live in a world where
change is the only constant, the Straw-
berry Generation needs to know the One
who holds tomorrow and the Bible gives
us a heartening message:
“But we have this treasure in jars
of clay to show that this all-surpassing
power is from God and not from us. We
are hard pressed on every side, but not
crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;
persecuted, but not abandoned; struck
down, but not destroyed.” 2 Corinthians
4:7-9
In knowing God, they can, in the
midst of facing pressures in life, trust
that God’s all-surpassing power will turn
situations around in His time so that His
power and glory will be revealed. While
they may be pressed on every side,
perplexed, persecuted and struck down
when the going gets tough, they can
continue to show resilience in their lives,
knowing that in all things God works for
the good of those who love Him and
who have been called according to His
purpose.
genius or insane
Which Michael Jackson should we remember: the
charitable musical virtuoso, or a man, tragically flawed? ­
T
he Rev. Al Sharpton once
told Michael Jackson’s
children, “Wasn’t noth-
ing strange about your
Daddy. It was strange
what your Daddy had to
deal with. But he dealt with it anyway.”
I grew up listening to Michael Jack-
son’s music and I would remember
checking out the album credits to see
who was involved in creating it. From
what I gathered, he surrounded him-
self with the best songwriters, produc-
ers and musicians of his time.
With MJ’s passing, the music indus-
try lost one of its greatest talents and a
generation is left to mourn the death
of an icon.
In his heyday, Michael Jackson
was a role model to many. Some of
his most popular songs are meaning-
ful and encouraging ballads. From "We
Are The World" to “Man in The Mir-
ror” to “Heal The World”, these songs
espoused positive messages of hope
and change.
MJ also tried to do his part for char-
ity. He was a humanitarian and philan-
by mark masillamoney
thropist, supporting more charities
than any other pop star. Worldwide,
a total of 39 charitable organizations
benefited from his generosity through
donations and sponsorships.
But, the King of Pop himself was
no stranger to controversy. The press
descended upon his every move like a
pack of wolves.
In MJ’s later years, his bizarre per-
sonal life filled the tabloids and gossip
columns, overshadowing his music. His
attempts to modify his looks through
multiple plastic surgeries, the sensa-
tional child molestation trial and his
troubling behaviour took a toll on him
and his music career.
However, even with all his flaws,
Michael Jackson inspired genera-
Even with all his flaws,
Michael Jackson inspired
generations of people to
love more and fight less.
tions of people to love more and fight
less. He made people laugh, hope and
aspire for better things. The singer also
used his celebrity status to spotlight
charitable work.
Just like Noah, whom God found to
be righteous and blameless, was also a
drunkard. David, the “man after God’s
heart,” committed adultery and mur-
der. Yet God used the imperfection in
them in His own way.
I believe that the God who makes
no mistakes used MJ for something
despite his failings. At least, for the
generation that I grew up in, he will
be remembered as the man who used
his God-given talent to touch a hurting
world and brought us joy through his
music.
OCTOBER 2009 | aldersgate.sg | 23
 TRAVEL TALES

wonderstruck! by tong su yee

High flyers
Beverly Ang and Two friends, Tong Su Yee and Beverly Ang, discover the natural beauty of Cairns,
Tong Su Yee parasail
over the waters of
Australia through captivating sea-walks, breathtaking cable car rides and more...
Cairns, Australia.

24 | liveline | OCTOBER 2009 OCTOBER 2009 | aldersgate.sg | 25

 TRAVEL TALES
7 9
b
everly and I had been good
friends for quite a while,
and since we were both
waiting to enter university
— overseas, in her case —
we thought taking a short
vacation together would be a great way to
bond and strengthen our friendship. After
discussions with our parents, we both de-
cided that Cairns, home to the Great Bar-
rier Reef, would be our perfect getaway
destination. To minimise hassle, we pur-
chased a 4D4N packaged tour from Chan
Brothers.
There were some concerns about
H1N1, but that did not dampen our spir-
its and enthusiasm. We prayed for physical
protection and good health before depart-
ing for Australia. Upon our safe return, we
both agreed that we made the right choice
taking this short holiday together. The
enormous fun we shared and the strength-
ened friendship were altogether an unfor-
gettable experience.
once we were in cairns, we literally
swung into full gear from the word “go.” Af-
26 | liveline | OCTOBER 2009
1 2
8 10
ter checking into the Shangri-La Hotel, we
immediately got the concierge to help us
reserve an adventure package comprising
three exciting back-to-back water activi-
ties — jetskiing, parasailing and bumper
tube rides.
Water sports never fail to send adren-
aline gushing through my veins. At one
Every day that I was in Cairns, I was
overwhelmed by God’s creations: the
Great Barrier Reef, the Kuranda Rainforest,
which stretched for endless miles.
point, we were driving so fast that we went
flying into the water. By the time we were
done jetskiing, we were having so much
fun that we were raring for more.
Parasailing was absolutely exhilarat-
ing, though a little scary for someone with
a mild phobia of heights like me! When
I was hoisted 100 metres above the vast
ocean, I had a bird’s eye view of everything
below me. It was a magnificient sight. I’m
almost sure seagulls wouldn’t trade being a
seagull for anything else!
on our second day, we boarded the big
Cat, a huge ferry that brought us to Green
Island. This island lies smack in the middle
of the Great Barrier Reef. At Green Island,
we were transferred to a “semi-submarine.”
Above the water surface, it looked like any
ordinary boat, but the interesting part was
the lower half of the vessel. Submerged
below the water, the lower deck had glass
walls built all around it. Seated in the lower
deck, we were treated to a diver’s view of
the coral reefs and marine life.
Though the semi-sub was a novel ex-
perience, Beverly and I decided it would be
more fun to get ourselves wet exploring the
3 5
underwater world. Neither of us had snor-
kelled before, so it was quite a thrill to don
on snorkelling gear and take in the pretty
sights of colourful corals and exotic fishes
in crystal clear waters.
Enthralled by the underwater world,
we decided to go the distance and experi-
ence what it was like to walk among the
fishes and corals. Sea-walking, however,
was an activity that incurred significant
extra charges. But, we figured: how many
opportunities does one get in a lifetime to
stroll along the floor of the Great Barrier
Reef?
We decided to give it a try and the expe-
rience was uniquely fun and indescribable.
It felt almost like we were walking on land,
except that we had on huge astronaut-like
helmets that pumped oxygen in to help us
breathe normally underwater. With the
guidance of a professional scuba diver, we
managed to get up close and personal with
some rare inhabitants of the coral reef. We
could also touch many of the fishes that
swam close to us.
the last full day of our trip saw us
heading up to the Kuranda Rainforest
which was situated outside of Cairns’ city
area. The day was relatively laid back, as we
sat on a vintage train that took us through
winding tunnels and over bridges into the
depths of the rainforest, more than 1,000
feet above sea level. We wandered around
the village shops and tried some delicious
fruit pulp ice cream before hopping onto
the Army Duck Rainforest Tour — a World
War II amphibious vehicle — to explore
the nature park.
Highlights of the tour included a per-
formance by Pamagirri aboriginal dancers,
boomerang and spear-throwing demon-
strations, and a visit to the Koala and Wild-
life Park. We rounded off the tour with a
scenic cable car ride down the mountain
before returning to Cairns by coach.
although our trip was a short one, it
was nonetheless, a fantastic vacation. Ev-
ery day that I was in Cairns, I was over-
whelmed by God’s creations: the Great
Barrier Reef, the Kuranda Rainforest,
which stretched for endless miles. I had
been to the Great Barrier Reef with my
family five years ago but I never got to ex-
perience its beauty in such close proximity.
The corals that cover the entire ocean floor
and the diverse marine life simply left me
in awe of God’s magnificent creations.
I was truly glad that I went on this trip
with Beverly because we did many activi-
ties that I would ordinarily have been too
afraid to try. Both of us had an insane
amount of fun and good food, so much
so that we hardly had any disagreements.
This trip made me thank God for friends
because it was a completely different and
positive experience travelling with a good
friend instead of family members.
FROM TOP LEFT
1. Corals in the azure waters of the Great Barrier
Reef; 2. Giant lizard in the Koala and Wildlife
Park; 3. Enjoying fruit pulp ice cream in Kuranda
Village; 4. Marina across the Shangri-La Hotel;
5. One of the many catamarans that dot Cairns’
waterways; 6. Green Island-bound; 7. Jetskiing;
8. Su Yee with a wallaby; 9. Panaroma of the
beach; 10. Train tracks in Kuranda Village.
OCTOBER 2009 | aldersgate.sg | 27
 ALL ACCESS
TECH TALK How to ensure that your kids are safe online ... p30 | MUSIC CD selections for all ages ... p31 |
BOOKS Three good reads for your nightstand ... p32 | LIFESTYLE Ideas on where to go and what to do
this upcoming holiday season ... p32 | EVENTS Find out about the Music Festival and more ... p33
➺ pluck at haji lane: more on page 32 in lifestyle
Get up to date information about lessons and sermon topics.
Read what the youths are saying on their blog.
Share articles from LiveLine with your friends.
28 | liveline | OCTOBER 2009 OCTOBER 2009 | aldersgate.sg | 29
 tech talk music
by Eric Cheok

such sites from being displayed on the child's monitor when

he or she is googling.
There are a variety of software programs and applications
available online that have the capability to enable site-blocking
but they are not foolproof either.

CONTROL MEASURES iSHINE JAMZ VOL 1 MY SOUL SINGS

It is hardly difficult for children to use proxy sites to Various Artists
circumvent restricted sites that parents have been taught to This is the perfect album
apply control measures on, either in the web browsers or in for the little ones. A com-
the operating system itself (for example, the Parental Controls pilation featuring popu-
feature found in the Mac operating system). Even if the child lar radio hits that contain
doesn't know, he or she can easily look up the "How-tos" on positive lyrics and catchy
the Internet or seek the help of a more tech-savvy friend. tunes, iShine Jamz includes
some of the most popular
songs from Christian radio,
MOBILE GADGETS
such as Chris Tomlin’s
The mobile phones and handheld game consoles that
"Indescribable" and Audio
parents provide for their children — even without internet Adrenaline’s "Big House".
access — are also not immune to the exchange of undesir- In addition, High School
able materials. Kids today have a digitally-enabled network of Musical’s "We’re All In This
friends who readily share all manner of fun stuff via Bluetooth Together" and the timeless
or USB devices. While most materials, thankfully, are innocent classic "That’s What Friends
and entertaining, we do still hear about  adult content being Are For" by Elton John,
aired on TV Mobile, or school kids being found with inap- Stevie Wonder and Dionne
propriate material in their mobile devices. Warwick can also be found
in this album.
Delirious?
Being one of the featured
bands at this year’s Festival
of Praise, Delirious needs
no introduction. This latest
CD/DVD set will probably
be the band’s last release
after a 15-year run. Deliri-
ous’ signature British rock
brings tremendous energy
into worship, and this live
recording embodies that
effect at its best. Featur-
ing familiar tracks such as
"History Maker" and "Rain
Down" the album also
includes "All God’s Chil-
dren" — a simple track
beautifully delivered with a
children’s choir.

T
here is clearly a dire need to help our children steer
clear of unsavoury material and limit them to appro- ERIC'S CHOICE
priate content. In addition to making use of technol-
ogy to protect our kids, here are a few steps that BETTER THAN LIFE: THE BEST OF LAKEWOOD LIVE

Internet Safety
A PARENT'S GUIDE TO parents can undertake: Lakewood Church
This compilation brings us
COMMUNICATION the best of worship music
Educate, openly discuss and come to an agreement with from Lakewood Church — a
your children that you will monitor their access to the Internet megachurch based in the U.S.
and all of the electronic devices that we entrust them with. in Houston, Texas. The album
by Gordon Yuen As parents, it is our responsibility to regularly take the time features two talented worship
to check them on their digital footprints, and when necessary, leaders, Israel Houghton and
Martha Munizzi.

B
efore writing this article, I was
under the impression that there
are numerous web applications
and methods out there that
parents can easily utilise to implement
measures that will prevent their kids from
accessing undesirable materials online —
bad content that kids might deliberately
search for or stumble upon. However, it
quickly became clear to me that it is an
impossible task for any application, or
even several applications working in con-
cert, to be absolutely effective in ensuring
safety on the Internet.
While there are no bullet-proof solu-
tions to Internet safety, here are a few
things that parents should be aware
of when attempting to safeguard their
children from accessing harmful content
online:
EMAIL
There just isn't any application that
can satisfactorily prevent a child from
sending or receiving emails that might
potentially contain objectionable materi-
als because filenames can be easily dis-
guised.
SEARCH ENGINES
Almost all children surfing the Inter-
net use search tools like Google, Yahoo,
and the like. The search results almost
always include some form of objection-
able material, even if the websites pur-
port that they only allow the child to play
innocent web-based games.
Although website warning tools like
"Web of Trust" can identify and classify
questionable sites, there is no stopping the
child from clicking on the web links. In this
case, what would be most beneficial for
parents would be to automatically prevent
advise and even admonish.
RULES AND GUIDELINES
At times, we need to do what we need to do, even if
it means implementing electronic curfews, usage boundar-
ies and digital reviews. Such reviews can take place through
active and mutually agreed upon logging of the child's Internet
journeys on chats, searches, sites visited, and mobile phone
usage and content.
➽ MORE INFO
For a suggested list of logging options and applications, please
visit the church website at www.aldersgate.sg
Houghton has a knack for
writing worship songs that
are lyrically simple and true to the promises of the Bible
while Munizzi delivers with powerhouse vocals. Together with
an energetic band and a gospel choir, nothing brings out cel-
ebratory worship more. Plus, their songs carry a strong groove
driven by acoustic guitars that will leave the Word ringing
in your head for days. Check out all-time favourites such as
"Friend of God", "You Are Good" and "All About You".
➽ WHERE TO GET
Featured CDs are available at SKS Books Warehouse
6227-9700 | www.sksbooks.com

30 | liveline | OCTOBER 2009 OCTOBER 2009 | aldersgate.sg | 31

 books by SKS Books Warehouse
Living With Questions
by Dale Fincher
In Living with Questions, philosopher,
storyteller and motivational speaker
Dale Fincher, brought up seven core life-
defining questions that teens and youths
commonly face. He provides us with a
practical and personal approach to these
questions: Do what I think really matter?
What is Truth? Is God there? Has God
spoken? Am I important enough? What’s
so great about Heaven?
More importantly, we get to learn
how to live the questions with Jesus
who will give us freedom and strength
to live the answers.
➽ WHERE TO GET Featured books are available at SKS Books Warehouse | 6227-9700 | www.sksbooks.com
upcoming
Everything Counts
by Steven Case
Steven Case's Everything Counts is a
It's Easy Being Green
by Emma Sleeth
Many books have been written about
events
year’s worth of devotions for radical liv- being green but this book is like none visit www.aldersgate.sg for more updates
ing based on the Oswald Chamber’s clas- other — it is not only written by a teen
sic My Utmost for His Highest. Chamber for teenagers but it is also written from
has touched many generations with his a Christian perspective. Whether you are october november cont...
godly insights through his work and Case new at ‘going green’ or a pro at it, Sleeth 23.10 15.11
Music Festival Family Life Workshop
has updated and distilled these insights has plenty to offer as she gives lots of
Baptism/Membership class
with the new generation of readers in tips on how we can serve God by saving 23.11 – 26.11
mind in this new adaptation. the planet that He has entrusted to us. 30.10 TRAC 34th Session at
By reading this book, Case hopes This book will not only change your Baptism/Membership class Bedok Methodist Church
his audience's souls will be inspired and attitude towards global warming but it
stirred in the same way that the daily will also provide a variety of ideas on november DECEMBER
devotional classic by Chamber has for how to restore this paradise in a way 04.11 25.12
the past few decades. God desires. LCEC Meeting Christmas Day Service*
08.11 31.12
Family Life Talk Watchnight Covenant &
Holy Communion Service*
13.11 – 14.11
Baptism/Membership

lifestyle
Retreat
learn
* english/mandarin combined service

Rock & Roll

Ready for the December holidays? Lifestyle editor Geraldine Ang has a few InTune Music School is a one-stop shop for all things music. HIGHLIGHT

MUSIC FESTIVAL
ideas on how and where to spend some of that break time The school provides a wide range of courses — take your pick
from pop vocals, pop songwriting, pop violin, musical vocal
and more . If you are all about rock 'n' roll, pick up the bass
shop guitar, drums or electric guitar at the Academy of Rock. An Evening of Hymns and Sacred Music

Vintage point
INTUNE MUSIC SCHOOL
50A Prinsep Place, #02-01,
Prinsep Street, S188680
6336-0335
www.intunemusic.com.sg
A street filled with edgy and quirky vintage shops,
Haji Lane provides a boutique shopping experience
with a unique twist
craft
Tired of shopping at departmental stores? Take a walk down
ACADEMY OF ROCK
187/189 Thomson Road,
Goldhill Centre, S307630
6250-8987 | 6356-8987
www.academyofrock.com.sg
Friday, october 23 | 8 p.m. | amc sanctuary
Come join us for a time of worship and thanksgiving
as we dedicate the new classical organ for God's work.
Our guest organist for the dedicatory recital is Dr Evelyn
Lim, an inspiring teacher on the staff of the Methodist
School of Music (MSM) and curator of the Esplanade pipe
organ. The programme for the evening will include choral
anthems, and music by our string instrumentalists and

Break a Tile
Haji Lane, a small back alley tucked away in the Arab Street 'ringers' from the MSM handbell ensemble. 
area, and you will find yourself surrrounded by quaint little
stores selling a variety of unique and hard-to-find items. Come and be blessed; bring your friends too.
Pluck is a small retail store on Haji Lane that all fashionistas Nanette Zehnder, owner of Mosaic
and vintage lovers should check out. Independently-owned, it not Workshop and two-time cancer
only carries a good selection of designer apparel, accessories and survivor, decided to spread her love
bags, it also sells furniture, wallpaper and other decorative items for mosaic art by offering classes
for your home. This place also has a full-service ice cream parlour to both adults and kids. Sign up
where you can sit down and savour their homemade ice cream and for one of Zehnder workshops (adult classes start at $150)
desserts. Pluck's ice cream flavours are anything but ordinary; they and create a unique piece of mosaic artwork for yourself or
range from cookies 'n' cream to soursop to sea salt caramel. someone special!

PLUCK MOSAIC WORKSHOP

31/33 Haji Lane, S189226 (Near Bugis MRT station) Blk 207 Henderson Road, #03-07, S159550
6396-4048 | www.pluck.com.sg 9070-4443 | www.mosaicworkshop.com.sg

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