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Life & Style | Health

Are you supersensitive?

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If you constantly worry about upsetting people or are

always feeling slighted by others, you may be a
highly sensitive person. Taking simple steps to look
after yourself will make your life easier, says Andrea
Anastasiou
By Andrea Anastasiou; Kate Birch, Editor, Aquarius magazine
Published: 14:36 August 26, 2012

Image Credit: Getty Images

According to Dr Elaine Aron, clinical psychologist and

author of The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When
the World Overwhelms You (Bantam USA) around 15 to 20
per cent of the population have an HSP.

Laura Owen is a highly talented web designer... so

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talented in fact that shes won awards for her work and
can count a number of the worlds best multinationals
as her former clients. However, a year ago she decided
to leave her job at a leading agency and go freelance;
the main reason behind her decision was that the role
was overwhelming her.
It was the type of company where last-minute briefs
would regularly be handed to me and throw my day into
disarray. I could cope with the intense workload when I
had adequate time to prepare, but I just couldnt handle
having work given to me at the last minute I would
shut down and not know how to deal with it. However,
this was the nature of the job, so I knew I had to leave
it.
Following her experience, Laura soon discovered that
she is what is called a highly sensitive person (HSP).
After I resigned, I stumbled across a blog that talked
about HSPs and everything began to make sense. For
years I never understood why I seem to take everything
to heart, why I try my best to avoid stressful situations
and why I feel the world around me so intensely. It
turns out it is also the reason why I truly get
overwhelmed when I need to do a lot in a short space
of time.
What is an HSP?
If, like Laura, you seem to be overwhelmed by highly
stimulating environments, become nervous when you
have a lot to do in a very short space of time, get
intense pleasure out of tastes, sounds and works of art,
and have a rich inner life, it is very likely you are an
HSP. And youre not alone; according to Dr Elaine
Aron, clinical psychologist and author of The Highly
Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World
Overwhelms You (Bantam USA) around 15 to 20 per
cent of the population have this trait.

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In her book, Dr Aron explains how highly sensitive

people have an uncommonly sensitive nervous system,
which makes them easily overwhelmed and aware of
subtleties in their environments. Its a survival strategy
being observant before acting, says Dr Aron. She
argues that just as some of us are born with perfect
pitch, or with allergies, others may be born with their
sensitivities effectively pre-tuned to a higher
resonance, meaning they process sensory data more
deeply, due to an innate biological difference in their
nervous systems.
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Character traits of the HSP include being easily hurt,

taking longer to make decisions and being innately
anxious. But its not all bad news. Positives include
being highly creative, intuitive, conscientious and
intellectually gifted. So, far from being a flaw, Dr Aron
argues that being an HSP is an asset that can have
many benefits once you learn how to nurture it.
Dr Saliha Afridi, licensed clinical psychologist and
director of The LightHouse Arabia in Dubai, says that
HSPs are quite attuned to the people and space
around them, almost as if the filter through which they
take in and process emotional information is thinner
than others. Due to this highly sensitive filtering
system, HSPs can often get overstimulated by their
environment, Dr Afridi says. They may also prefer
quiet, smaller groups and are most likely to be
introverts and/or shy.
They experience the world through their senses, which
can result in intense experiences and emotions. The
intensity of emotions, when coupled with negative life
experiences, can often result in HSPs being depressed
or anxious, as they are unable to process the force and

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fierceness of their emotions.

As any highly sensitive person will know, fitting into a
society that is so fast paced and brutal can be
something of an ongoing challenge. You feel like
something is wrong with you for feeling everything
around you, explains Dr Doris Jeanette, holistic
psychologist with more than 35 years of experience
and founder of the Centre for New Psychology
(www.drjeanette.com). You think you are too sensitive
and you learn that being sensitive is a disadvantage,
however, this is a false belief.
Societal perceptions
Melanie*, 34, identifies with this, believing herself to be
just too emotional for this world. I was always an
anxious child, but Ive grown into an even more anxious
adult. I constantly worry about what others think of me
and fret about everything I say or do. I can spend days
going over some comment I made to someone,
worrying that Ive offended them. I get called touchy by
my family all the time.
Dr Aron says that HSPs can often feel that theres
something wrong with them because theyve been told
so often, dont be so sensitive, dont be so touchy
and dont be so shy, so they absorb societys view of
it. Dr Jeanette believes that feeling what is around you
shouldnt be seen as negative, and that when you learn
how to relax and trust your perceptions you actually
have a huge advantage over others. You are aware of
more data, therefore you know more than the average
person about physical reality.
You can use this in all kinds of creative and clever ways
to empower yourself, and can be more successful than
others by using your emotional intelligence. Examples
of this kind of advanced knowledge would be reading
body language, sensing non-verbal communication and

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feeling subtle energy. You also have easy access to

your intuition and extrasensory perceptions, which you
can use for your empowerment.
Despite the negative implications of being sensitive in
a society that advocates being thick-skinned, there are
pros to being a highly sensitive type. For one, it is
believed that HSPs are usually very creative, as well as
intellectually gifted. Dr Afridi says that HSPs are
empathetic to a fault; even if they dont want to know
how others are feeling, they will pick up on the energy
of the other person. HSPs are passionate, intense,
charming and able to pick up on the nuances of certain
situations and peoples moods better than most.
They are generally good at picking up on non-verbal
cues. Some people would say that they can read the
energy of other people and are often connected to the
spiritual dimension of themselves and others, she
says. However, having this type of personality can also
put you at a disadvantage. It has been found that HSPs
may not contribute much to discussions at work, as
they are better at processing information in their heads.
They also tend to underperform when being watched,
so they work best when in quiet and calm conditions.
However, this means they are sometimes overlooked
for promotions at work. Anyone who feels intensely
will feel joy as well as pain in that way, adds Dr Afridi.
Often these individuals can be emotionally labile [you
have unstable emotional displays]and have difficulty
managing their affect.
As children and adolescents they are often unable to
cope with the intensity of their emotions and may be
seen as depressed or anxious. Dr Jeanette adds that
many highly sensitive types may grow up being
criticised by their parents for being so sensitive. W hen
a sensitive child is criticised, they grow up with low

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self-esteem, she explains. This is a serious problem

that needs to be corrected by parents becoming aware
of how they are relating to their children.
Coping strategies
If you are a highly sensitive person, you may find it hard
to traverse our overstimulated world. But, according to
the experts, there are a number of strategies you can
adopt to try to cope a bit better. Dr Afridi says that first
you should learn how to recognise, accept and own the
attribute. I think it is important that people stop trying
to not be so sensitive. I see people in my work who go
their whole life reading books on how to be different,
rather than learning about who they are and finding the
power in it, says Dr Afridi.
Next, Dr Afridi recommends you make sense of your
sensitivity, and advises you not to ignore it. Sensitivity
doesnt go away; it actually gets worse and results in a
lot of distress if you try to ignore it. Find a way to make
sense of it and integrate it as a part of your whole self.
Seek a trained qualified mental health professional to
help you with this. Dr Afridi also says that sensitive
people should recognise that they have the power to
bring about positive change in the world, and that you
should garner strength from this attribute and put it to
positive use. Sensitive people are the ones who get
bothered about things that most other people are able
to ignore.
These are the people who also get bothered about
things so much that they go out and seek change and
justice. Finally, she advises you develop a vocabulary.
You are sensitive, thus you will feel a whole range of
emotions. Develop a good-feelings vocabulary so that
you can describe experiences and emotions and not
just feel them.
In addition to this, Dr Fran Walfish, a licensed

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psychotherapist and author of The Self-Aware Parent

(Palgrave Macmillan), says that you should do
everything possible to try to make your life more
comfortable. Cut out clothing tags if they bother you
and keep the volume on music and your television low.
Teach yourself that all hurts and disappointments are
temporary. Live in the moment instead of worrying
about whats coming before it happens, she advises.

TLC for the HSP

How to nurture your sensitivity

Take deep breath
You may fret over things that arent that important,
which can mean others find you difficult at times. Dr
Elaine Aron explains that HSPs have higher levels of
the stress hormone cortisol, which can mean youre
over-perceptive to personal threat. An upset involving a
friend or partner can seem a bigger deal than it really
is.
Check your priorities
You may be codependent and put others needs
before your own. Theres a difference between being
selfless as a choice and selfless because its the only
way you feel loved, says Aron. A wise person might
look at you and say, Youre demeaning yourself for
ungrateful people.
Nourish yourself
Yoga, meditation, walking outdoors and good food are
all important. Be careful with anything overstimulating
from coffee to too much cardio exercise. Some HSPs

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reach for alcohol or overspending, says Aron.

Channel that urge in a different way. Be creative with
your sensitivity, you can produce real beauty.
Be calm
Keep indoor lighting soft and temperature moderate.
Wear sunglasses on bright days, and carry earplugs to
wear on public transport. At work, the glare of
computer screens can be balanced by taking regular
breaks from your desk.

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