setapartgirl

LESLIE LUDYS

MAGAZINE

HONORING

YOUR PARENTS
AS AN ADULTp.76

VIGILANT HEART
CAN A GUY EVER BE
JUST A FRIEND? p.66

PURPOSEFUL

femininity

p.8

THE SUBTLETY OF
SELF-JUSTIFICATION p.36
FEB/MAR 2015

FOUNDERS letter

It is amazing

to think back on all that God has done

through the ministry of Set Apart Girl
these past years. I am humbled and
blessed to realize that what started
out as a simple website to encourage
young women has grown into a
ministry that has impacted hundreds
of thousands of women around the
world. It has tremendously encouraged
me to see so many women of all ages
who are passionate about living a
Christ-centered life. What a joy to be
able to invest into your lives and to
help inspire you down the narrow way
of the Cross!
Lord willing, there are some big changes ahead this year for Set Apart Girl!
We are aiming to release our very first print issue within the next few months!
We hope and pray that making the magazine available in print will equip you
to share the message with others in your life, as well as read back over the
articles that most encourage and inspire you!
We will still be making our online magazine available, but the format might
change a bit as we take our magazine to print. Well keep you posted of the
timing and specific plansplease stay tuned to our website for details, and
if you havent already joined our email update list or liked us on Facebook
thats another great way to stay in the loop!

May this issue breathe new life into your walk with Christ and give you a vision
for the beautiful life of purity and set-apartness He has called you to. Know
that each of us are cheering you on as you seek to surrender your existence to
Him!

- Leslie
ABOUT THE

founder

LESLIE LUDY is a bestselling author and speaker with a passion

for helping women become set apart for Christ. She and her husband,
Eric, have been writing and speaking together for the past twenty
years. Together they are the authors of twenty-one books that have
been translated into over a dozen languages around the world. Eric
and Leslie are the directors of Ellerslie Training, a Biblically-focused
discipleship college that prepares men and women of all ages for
world-impacting Christian service. Leslies newest book, Set Apart
Motherhood, encourages young moms to bring Christ into the center
of their mothering. Her upcoming release, The Set Apart Woman,
encourages women of all ages to embrace Gods pattern for sacred
living. The Ludys live in Colorado with their six children. Connect
with Leslie on FB and Twitter!

86

26

48

36

76

66

IN THIS

issue

SET APART FEMININITY // Explore Gods Sacred Intent for Your Life
8
Purposeful Femininity: Unlocking the Secrets of Proverbs 31 Womanhood
26 Snakes & Soldiers

SET APART WALK // Cultivate Your Daily Romance with Christ

36 The Subtlety of Self-Justification

SET APART LIFESTYLE // Applying the Gospel to Everyday Life

48 Justifications: Lessons Learned by the Set Apart Girl Team

SET APART RELATIONSHIPS // Honoring God in Family, Love, & Romance

66 The Vigilant Heart
76 Honoring Your Parents as an Adult

SET APART FAMILY // Discovering Gods Heart for Home and Family
86 Preparing Our Kids for Real Christianity

IN EVERY

issue

setapartgirl playlist

98

kiddo spot

102

weekly devotional

104

sister of the common life

110

our recommendations

LITTLE DETAILS:
Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture is taken
from the New King James Version.
2015 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains
material protected under International and Federal Copyright
Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this
material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic
or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any
information storage and retrieval system without express
written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl.

setapartgirl

PLAYLIST

O SACRED HEAD NOW WOUNDED by Selah

I have recommended the song O Sacred Head Now Wounded beforebut its worth mentioning again!
Selahs version has recently become one of my favoritesit is worshipful, beautiful, and powerful! When
I was writing my new book, The Set Apart Woman, I would play this song over and over as I wrote. It
continually kept my focus on the One who gave everything and is worthy of our everything.

- LESLIE LUDY

COME TO ME by Bethel Music & Jenn Johnson

This song marks so many moments of seeing the Lords help over the past few years. Its full of Truth,
declaring who God is and all that we have in Christ Jesus! And Ive found such encouragement. peace,
and strength soaking in this meditation of who He is and championing my soul to look only to Him!

- ANNIE WESCHE

MY MASTER by Christy Nockels

This song draws my heart to remember the heroic rescue and countless redeeming works of Christ in my
life. As I remember all that He has done on my behalf and bequeathed to me as His child, beloved, and
friendmy heart is refreshed and strengthened in the joy it is to call Him My Master.

- MANDY SAELER

HOW FIRM A FOUNDATION

by Chelsea Moon & The Franz Brothers
I love this Americana spin on solid truth! These classic lyrics are a great encouragement to the soul and
this particular version brings much cheer to the heart!

- ELSJE ZORNES

10,000 REASONS

by Rend Collective

I appreciate how this song mirrors Psalm 103 in proclaiming Bless the Lord, O my soul; And all that is
within me, bless His holy name! It reminds me that Christ is worth all the praise and my joyful response
gets to be singing of His glory!

- JESS SCHWARTZ

NO TURING BACK by Brandon Heath

There is so, so much joy in leaving the world behind and following Jesus. Each day I must choose to set
my eyes on the Cross before me and this song encourages me to do just that!

- LAUREN ROBERTSON

CARRY MY SOUL by Phil Whickham

This song has been such a good reminder of living each day with my eyes fixed on Jesusmy goal and
my prize!

- HEATHER COFER

SET APART

femininity

PURPOSEFUL

FEMININITY
LIVING IN LIGHT OF ETERNITY
A PROVERBS 31 SERIES BY LESLIE LUDY

THE WOMEN

that I admire mostboth now and

throughout historyare women who
have chosen to live their lives on purpose
for Jesus Christ. They are women who
build their lives around His priorities
instead of frittering away their time on
the meaningless distractions of the world.
Take, for instance, Corrie ten Boom, who
traveled the world to share the Gospel
even into her old age. She refused to
settle into retirement, even when her

body began to break down. Even when

people told her, Its time to take it easy
you deserve it! she knew she had a
commission from God. As she put it, I
refuse to spend the rest of my life in a
pasture when there are so many fields to
harvest. I hope to die in harness.
Or Esther Ahn Kim, who, even when she
was young and beautiful, exchanged a
comfortable, pleasure-seeking lifestyle
for prison, torture, and poverty in order
to make a bold stand for the Gospel. At a
crucial moment of decision, she declared,

SHE ... DOES NOT

EAT THE BREAD
OF IDLENESS.
PROVERBS 31:21

I will not live my youthful life for myself;

I will offer it to the Lord and bear witness
of Him.

our time, energy, and resources on our

own pleasures instead of the glory of
God.

It is my greatest desire to live my life on

purpose for Jesus Christ, just as these
remarkable women did. And yet, growing
up amid one of the most selfish, shallow,
temporal, pleasure-seeking generations
in history, choosing to embrace
purposeful femininity is easier said than
done. Everywhere we turn, cultural
messages encourage us to pursue trivial
things instead of eternal ones; to spend

ITS MY GREATEST DESIRE TO

LIVE MY LIFE ON
PURPOSE FOR
JESUS CHRIST...

SET APART

femininity

Unless we make a conscious decision

build our lives around the things that
matter most to Him, well find that our
lives quickly begin to revolve around
shopping, socializing, texting, tweeting,
posting on Facebook, watching movies,
perfecting our wardrobes, and other
trivial pastimes.
One of the most powerful verses in
Proverbs 31 says, she . . . does not eat
the bread of idleness (31:27). Idleness
is the polar opposite of purposeful
femininity. Idleness is that relentless
pull to waste our lives on shallow,
trivial, selfish pursuits. The bread of
idleness often seems appealing at first
bite, convincing us that a pleasure-filled
existence will bring satisfaction and
fulfillment. But God has something very
different to say about women who build
their lives around temporal things: She
who lives in pleasure is dead while she
lives (1 Timothy 5:6).
Idleness baits us in a variety of ways. When
we are young and single, the temptation
to eat the bread of idleness may come
in the form of idle chitchat, gossip, and
meaningless cultural preoccupations. As
we get older, it may come in the form of
laziness and self-pity, baiting us with the
message, Youve been working so hard
serving other people; now you need to
take a break and just focus on YOU!

Eric and I had been in full-time ministry

for several years when the bait of
idleness began to call my name. Ministry
life was quite demanding; we were
constantly traveling, speaking, writing,
and counseling. As an introvert, I often
felt drained from these tasks. I knew that
I should be turning to Christ to revive
my spirit, but after a long day of ministry
work, I found myself wanting to take a
break from spiritual things. It sounded so
much more inviting to settle down with a
novel than to study my Bible. A moviemarathon seemed far more appealing
than a time of prayer. Slowly, I began
to allow trivial actives to consume the
majority of my free time.

I HAD
EXCHANGED
AN ETERNAL
FOCUS FOR
A TEMPORAL
ONE.
Instead of reading my Bible or inspiring
Christian books, I often turned to
shallow novels and magazines. Instead of
cultivating meaningful relationships with
others, I wasted hours surfing the Internet

I was slowly shriveling up from

lack of true purpose.

for the latest fashion trends and beauty

tips. Instead of taking time for personal
worship or Scripture meditations, I
downloaded the latest music from iTunes.
Though I was a Christian leader, I became
more in tune with pop-culture than with
the Word of God.
Without even realizing what had
happened, I had exchanged an eternal
focus for a temporal one. With my mouth,
I proclaimed that the things of God were
most important to me. But with my time
and daily choices, I was placing much
higher value on the things of the world.
My life began to feel empty and
unsatisfying. I was living in pleasure, but

I was slowly shriveling up from lack of

true purpose.

Around that time I heard a true story about

a pastor in a persecuted country who
was thrown into solitary confinement for
over a year because of his faith in Christ.
Day after day, he crouched in a tiny cell
with no light, no sound, and no human
companionship. When he was finally
released from prison, his body was weak,
but his face was radiant and glowing. His
Christian friends asked him, How did
you survive? What was it like?
The frail pastor joyfully proclaimed, It was
like a dream come true. I was completely
fulfilled in the presence of Jesus!

Stop for a moment and imagine having

all your pleasures and indulgences
stripped away. No mall to shop at on
the weekends. No coffee bars to make
your favorite latte. No Facebook page to
post on. No cell phone to text with. No
Pinterest to browse. No Netflix or cable
T.V. to entertain you. No gym membership
to help you de-stress. No hair salons or
spas to pamper you. No magazines or
books to read. No chocolate desserts or
whipped mocha frappuccinos to enjoy.
Imagine losing all contact with those
you love. No opportunity to see your
husband or friends or children, or even
to hear their voices over the phone.
Imagine being completely by yourself
twenty-four hours a day.

WOULD JESUS BE ENOUGH

TO SATISFY YOU?
That simple question changed my life.
Amy Carmichael, one of my spiritual
heroes, made a decision at the age of
seventeen to say, Nothing will matter
to me again except the things that are
eternal. I began to ask God for the
strength to live according to that same
creed.
With Gods help, I began to change
my daily habits to align with eternal

SET APART
priorities. Eric and I exchanged our movie
marathons for powerful times of prayer.
Instead of mindlessly surfing the Internet
during our spare time, we began studying
Scripture and reading inspiring Christian
biographies. We talked for hours about
what God was doing in our hearts and
what we were discovering in His Word.
Something amazing happened as I began
to spend my time on Christ-centered
activities instead of frivolous ones. Jesus
became my all in all, not just in theory
but in reality. My relationship with Him
began to satisfy all my needs.
I experienced the words of Psalm 16:11:
In Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your
right hand are pleasures forevermore. By
seeking pleasure and fulfillment through
pop culture distractions, I had settled for
temporary, short-lived satisfaction. But
as I built my life and my time around
the eternal instead of the temporal, I
discovered joy and peace that was real
and lasting.
My life has never been the same since.
Its not that Ive never watched a movie or
read a novel since that season of shifting
my priorities. But my approach is far
different than it used to be. No longer do
I find my fulfillment or identity in shallow
pursuits. Rather, I have learned that true

femininity

purpose comes only from a truly Christcentered existence. Not just saying that
He is my highest priority, but living as if
He is.
My vision for the ministry of Set Apart
Girl was inspired by a statement I read
in Elisabeth Elliots biography about the
life of Amy Carmichael. She wrote, The
preoccupations of young womentheir
looks, their clothes, their social lifedont
seem to change much from generation
to generation. But in every generation
there seem to be a few who make other
choices.
The bait toward idle, shallow, trivial living
is present in every generation. But in
every generation, there are those who
are willing to rise above the mediocre
norm and embrace the narrow way
of the Cross, exchanging idleness for
purposeful femininity. Idle femininity
causes us to waste our live on things that
are meaningless in light of eternity. But
purposeful femininity will change this
world for the glory of God.

GAINING AN
ETERNAL FOCUS
The most important step in embracing
purposeful femininity is exchanging

SET APART

femininity

a temporal focus for an eternal one.

Imagine if today was the day Jesus was
coming back for His Bride. Imagine that
within a few moments, youll be standing
at the threshold of Heaven. Will it
matter how many Facebook friends you
have or how many trendy outfits are
hanging in your closet? Will the latest
Hollywood blockbuster seem appealing?
Will your fitness goals or career pursuits
be relevant?
Jesus told a parable about ten virgins who
waited for their bridegroom to come.
Five of the women were wise and kept
oil in their lamps. The other five became
complacent and slothful, letting the oil in
their lamps burn out. By the time the
bridegroom came, they were unready to
meet him (see Matthew 25:12). Standing
before the Judgment seat of Christ, we
must all give an account for the way that
we lived while here on this earth. Will
we look back on our lives with shame and
regret, or with fulfillment and triumph?
When our Bridegroom comes for us, will
our lamps be burning brightly, or will our
spiritual fires have been extinguished by
worldly distractions and shallow living?
Jim Elliot gave the profound advice,
Live every day as if the Son of Man
were at the door, and gear your thinking
to the fleeting moment. Just how can it

be redeemed? Walk as if the next step

would carry you across the threshold of
Heaven.
When we live each moment as if our next
step would carry us across the threshold
of Heaven, it completely shifts our daily
priorities. Its not that we should never
spend time enjoying the simple pleasures
that God has blessed us with here on
this earthsuch as the beauty of nature
or the fellowship of dear friends. But if
pleasure is what we are living for, we are
not living in light of eternity.

NO DAUGHTER OF
THE KING IS CALLED
TO LIVE AN IDLE,
SELF-INDULGENT
LIFE BUILT AROUND
TRIVIAL THINGS.
Contrary to what many women today
believe, this life is not about us. We are
not meant to spend our years pursuing
our own personal satisfaction and
happiness. We are here for the glory of
God. We have been given a commission
by the King of all kings to go into all the
world, preach the Gospel to all nations,

Will our lamps be burning brightly?

Examine your motives behind why you spend

time doing the things that you do.

SET APART

femininity

and walk in the footsteps of Jesus Christ.

This will look different for each of us.
Some of us are called to literally go
across the world in order to proclaim the
hope of Christ. Some are called to stay
at home and pour out lives out for our
families and neighbors. But no daughter
of the King is called to live an idle, selfindulgent life built around trivial things.

behind why you spend time doing the

things that you do. When evaluating any
activity, ask yourself these questions: Am
I doing this for selfish reasons, or Christhonoring ones? Is this activity frivolous,
or does it serve a higher purpose?

The Great Commission is not a special call

for a few select Christians. It is a sacred
claim that our Lord has placed upon
every person who is called by His name.
Our lives are not to be made up of social
activities and cultural diversions. A close
study of the Proverbs 31 woman reveals
a beautifully purposeful existence: a life
that is full of eternal priorities instead of
temporal ones. Its true that she spends
some of her time on earthly activities,
such as preparing food, making clothing,
and buying and selling. But all of these
tasks have a higher purpose. She does
not do them for her own selfish pleasure,
but to bless and serve the people God
has put in her life, and to fulfill the
high calling He has given her. Her life
is overflowing with eternally-focused,
purposeful activities such as reaching
out to the poor, meeting others needs,
and teaching about Gods ways.

It causes you to draw closer to Jesus

Christ and/or learn more about Him.

As you go about your daily life, I encourage

you to prayerfully examine the motives

Here are some ways you can tell whether

something has eternal value:

It builds meaningful relationships with

people God has put in your life.
It helps you bless others and assists you
in sharing the love of Christ with them.
It helps you become better equipped for
the things God has called you to.
It leaves you peacefully refreshed
instead of agitated and distracted.
It bears good fruit instead of bad fruit
in your life (see Galatians 5:19-26).
To evaluate whether your choices are
serving Gods purposes for your life, it
helps to write down the specific things
that you know God has called you to,
and then to compare your daily activities
against those things. During this season
of my life, I know that God has called me to

cultivate my relationship with Him, serve

my husband and children, be a keeper
of my home, minister to the weak, and
encourage women in biblical femininity.
When Im evaluating my activities, I look
at each of my pastimes in light of whether
they are assisting me in those priorities.
Reading a book on how to bless and serve
my husband? Yes! Spending an hour
chatting on the phone while my kids run
around the house? No! Emailing a friend
who is in need of encouragement? Yes!
Texting about trivial things throughout
the day? No!
The Bible says that even the small areas of
our lives, like eating and drinking, should
be done for His glory and not our own
selfish pleasure (1 Corinthians 10:31).
When you allow your daily activities to

serve Gods purposes for your life rather

than your own, you will begin to gain an
eternal focus in everything you do.

AVOIDING IDLE
CHATTER
Another way that idleness often sneaks
into our lives is through the words that
we speak and write. 2 Timothy 2:16 says,
Shun profane and idle babblings, for
they will increase to more ungodliness.
The term idle babbling means empty
discussion, discussion of vain and useless
matters. What a perfect description of
much of our modern communication!
Facebook comments, Twitter, Pinterest
boards, and even blogs can often be
breeding grounds for idle chatter,

emotional ramblings, showing off of wit

and personality, and exalting our own
thoughts and opinions instead of Gods
thoughts and opinions.
This kind of idle babbling is the opposite
of the godly, fruitful, eternally-focused
communication that marks a purposeful
woman. Romans 14:19 says, Let us
pursue the things which make for peace
and the things by which one may edify
another.
The word edify means to build someone
up in their faith, to promote another
persons growth in Christian wisdom,
piety, holiness, and so on. In other words,
if you dont have something important,
edifying, and God-honoring to say, then
dont say it (or post it)! Jesus said in
Matthew 12:36, Every idle word that
men shall speak, they shall give account
thereof in the day of judgment. With
all of todays modern technology, its so
easy to say or write meaningless words
without even thinking about it. But Jesus
says we must weigh each word we say
(and write) in light of eternity.
If you choose to blog, text, Tweet, or post
on Pinterest, Instagram, or Facebook,
your goal should be to edify your readers,
to build up others faith in Jesus Christ
and encourage them spiritually through
what you are sharing, or to bless your

friends and family members and remind

them of your love for them. If your
online communications serve no eternal
purpose, they become nothing more
than time wasters and distractions, not
only in your own life, but in the lives of
those you are conversing with.

JESUS SAYS WE
MUST WEIGH EACH
WORD WE SAY (AND
WRITE) IN LIGHT OF
ETERNITY.
A great way to figure out whether the
words you are speaking, posting, tweeting,
blogging, or texting have eternal value is
to ask the questions, Do these words
point people to Jesus Christ and reflect
His nature? Do they serve any higher
purpose other than to fill space and
sound interesting? Do they honor God,
or do they esteem the shallow things of
this world? If your words are hollow and
meaningless, then its better not to say
(or write) them at all.
If idle chatter has become an unhealthy
pattern in your life, prayerfully consider
taking a season away from all the outlets
(blogs, social media, and so on) that seem

SET APART

femininity

to pull you into that habit. Use that time

instead for prayer and worship, serving
someone in need, encouraging people
in your daily life, or reaching out to
someone who is lonely. This habit might
seem difficult to give up at first, but if
you ask God for the grace to make this
exchange, He will be faithful to give you
the strength you need.
++
God has entrusted us with the precious
gift of time. Twenty-four hours in every

day, seven days in every weekeach

day significant, each hour important,
and each moment of value to God. How
many of those moments are being spent
on things that matter in light of eternity?
Only when we are willing to give God
the best hours of our dayrather than
whatever is left after we have wasted
most of our time on trivial thingswill
we be able to triumphantly live the
purposeful femininity He has called us
to. May we wake each morning with
the spirit of surrender in our hearts, and
declare along with the old hymn:

Take my life and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.

Take my moments and my days, let them flow in endless praise.
Take my hands and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.
Take my voice and let me sing always, only for my King.
Take my lips and let them be filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold, not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect and use every powr as Thou shalt choose.
Take my will and make it Thine, it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart, it is Thine own, it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord, I pour at Thy feet its treasure store.
Take myself and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.

Only, all for Thee.

PURPOSEFUL

FEMININITY
A PROVERBS 31 SERIES

Leslies newest book!

THE SET-APART WOMAN

GODS INVITATION TO SACRED LIVING
In her new book for women of all ages, Leslie Ludy presents a
powerful, beautiful vision of becoming wholly consecrated to Christ,
showing you how to:
Cultivate Christ-honoring daily habits
Trade unfulfilling distractions for purpose-filled living
Overcome fear and build unwavering faith
Exchange confusion and doubt for joy and confidence
With rich Biblical truths, candid personal stories, and poignant practical
insights, The Set Apart Woman will equip you to cultivate a thriving
relationship with Jesus Christ.

If you long to rise above the pull and distractions of our culture and
enter into all that for which God created and saved you, I urge you
to read The Set Apart Woman.
-Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Author and Revive our Hearts teacher and host

We who long to love the Lord our God with all our hearts do well to
listen as Leslie speaks into our lives through the pages of this book!
-Bonnie Barrows Thomas, Torchbearers International

COMING TO BOOKSTORES IN APRIL 2015!

AVA I L A B L E N O W F O R P R E - O R D E R !
Order at setapartmotherhood.com

SET APART

femininity

Snakes &

SOLDIERS

from an anonymous WARRIOR-POET

SET APART

femininity

Solomon, in his famous love song, croons

that his woman is a garden enclosed
(Sng. 4:12), and there is a whole sphere
of lessons in those three words. Our
world is brimful of authority, and
Solomons statement would indicate that
if this garden is, in fact, closed off from
the public, someone needs to have the
authority to declare it so. If the garden is
enclosed it means there must be some
amount of regulation as to who and what
is allowed in and what isnt.
If she is a garden enclosed someone
might ask Who says? Or, Who has the
authority to open or close this garden?
Or, Who has the key? As you can see, in
order for this garden to be either open or
closed, someone must be in chargehave
the authority, hold the keys! The word
enclosed in Hebrew is the word also
used for locking or bolting something.
When we lock our cars, we are making
a statement that outside of that vehicle
is free territory; however, if someone
trespasses that lock and breaks in, they
are intruding upon property that doesnt
belong to them and which they have

no business being in. If they are invited

in, it is one thing; if they break in, it is
an entirely different matter. When we
lock our car, we are making a statement
that only the owner of the key has the
authority to access the interior of the car
and the contents thereof.
Thus, as women, you must understand
that you are not just a garden open to
the public, but you are a garden that
has, if you will, a gatea lockand that
there is authority in place to ensure that
it remains closed to all that would do it
harm, and open to all that would do it
good.
Now, this language of authority and
gardens brings to mind the first state of
mankind. Adam was placed in a garden
and given a charge to dress and to
keep it. The word dress means to till,
cultivate, and serve, and the word keep
means to be in charge of, guard, and act
as a watchman.
So, God made the universe and has
authority over the whole of creation,
but He makes a man and places him in

a garden enclosed.

a gate keeper is needed.

SET APART
a miniature universe, called the garden
of Eden, in which to reflect the nature
of the Creator by doing in that garden
what God does over all creation. Within
that garden was a woman, which Adam
was also responsible, in a sense, to dress
and keep, tend and defend, provide
and protect. This ought to have been a
garden encloseda garden with a gate
and gatekeeper, a garden with a lock and
someone with the key to lock, a garden
with someone to tend that which was
within and was on guard for the dangers
that might be without. However, Adam
stood by while Eve was enticed by the
serpent.
Wait! Howd a dragon get in the garden?!
Who left the door open? Who neglected
to keep watch? Who failed their
responsibility?! Adam, Adam, and Adam!
The one who had responsibility over the
garden, and was the gatekeeper of the
garden, and was guardian of the garden
neglected to exert the authority he was
entrusted in order to protect that which
was under his care.
The United States Pledge of Allegiance
has an interesting line that garners a lot
of debate and attention, but is vitally
important for us as humans to embrace
and acknowledge. It is that the USA is
one nation under God. If an earthly

femininity

government fails to recognize that it is

under the authority of Almighty God,
serpents and dragons are sure to tyrannize
the people of that nation. The only source
of authority for earthly governance
(whether in the family, church, or state) is
God Himself. If we neglect authority, we
are inviting the presence of the serpent.
After all, he enticed our first parents to
eat of the tree of the knowledge of good
and evilin essence, convincing them
to defy Gods authority, and to exert
themselves and their own desires as the
final authority. This, as we have seen,
was disastrous.

A garden that has

a gate, a lock...
it remains closed
to all who would
do it harm
The serpent ought to have met with a
soldier at the gate of the garden, and
the soldier ought to have told him to
get lost in so many words. As a women,
you are a garden. There is a soldier
that has been given, by God Almighty,
the great responsibility of providing for
and protecting you. In a single girls life,
this is a man called Daddy. A father is

SET APART

femininity

responsible to know and cherish every

blade of grass, every grain of soil, and
every tender blossom in the garden of
his daughters life. Your father ought to
protect you from the serpent as well as
any other serpentine characters that often
times have over-applied the cologne and
only have one thing on their brain cell
which is that they only want you for your
body! If you defy the authority of your
father and his role in your life as provider
and protector, and if he neglects this
responsibility, it wont be long before the
dragons will start knocking at the gates!
Eve could have easily said to the serpent,
Excuse me, but what are you doing here?
Do you have permission to be here? If
not, I shall quickly fetch the guardian of
the garden to slay you!

So, whats a girl to

do to help keep this
garden a place full
of life and where
Gods purposes may
be carried out?

Now, what to do when you dont have a

godly dad? What if a father is more like
a serpent than a soldier? The beauty of
Gods authority structure is that there
are authorities above a father and to
which a father is accountable. If a father
is abusive, the leaders of the church
are to take action; or, in some cases,
government authorities may need to
step in.
So, whats a girl to do to help keep this
garden a place full of life and where Gods
purposes may be carried out? First and
foremost, submit to godly authority. It
starts with God and His Word and flows
downward! If your father loves God, he
will also be submitted to Gods Word,
and therefore will seek to cultivate in the
lives of his wife and children a godliness
and yet he will also vehemently drive out
worldliness. If your father is a schlub,
submit yourself to the most godly and
Bible-centered church you can find and
allow them to function in their role as
guardians of the flock.
Heres the lovely aspect of all this: if you
long for a husband someday, you must
understand that he is commanded by
God to be a soldier keeping the serpents
out of your life. If youre single, you can
actually serve your future husband by
helping your father understand all the

It starts with

God's Word

intricacies of the garden of your life. Help

him know what hurts you and what helps
you. Help him understand what delights
you and what you find distasteful. Help
him know where to prune and where to
water, where to nurture and where to
root up.

...if you submit

yourself ultimately
to God and His
Word, you will
find a world of
blessing in allowing
the godly men in
your life to guard,
protect, provide,
and nurture you.
In honoring your fathers place in your
life, you are actually serving your future
husband. One day, a young man will ask
your father for your hand in marriage.
When he does this, your father ought to
be able to begin taking that young man

on a tour of the garden and showing him

the weak spots, the tender spots, the
healthy spots, and the spots needing a
little extra attention and affection.
Yesthe first soldier of the first garden
failed to kill the first serpent. However,
if you submit yourself ultimately to God
and His Word, you will find a world
of blessing in allowing the godly (and I
stress that once more) men in your life to
guard, protect, provide, and nurture you.
Men are indeed fallible, and only Gods
authority is perfect. Yet, even now, you
can live in such a way that the garden
of your life is under the authority of the
proper guardian. When your husband
becomes that guardian, he will be able
to say with 1 Corinthians 11:7 that the
woman is the glory of the man. He ought
to count you as his glory. If this is to be
the case, the keys of the garden must be
entrusted to the guardian God has given
you, and then you can rest in the peace
that the gatekeeper is nurturing you and
clobbering the serpents.

kept & guarded.

THE

Subtlety
OF SELF-JUSTIFICATION

by LESLIE LUDY

Many years ago, a close

friend challenged me about a particular

movie that I liked and had recommended
to others. Her words of correction
were appropriate and respectful,
and she had a position to speak into
my life, but I found myself inwardly
bristling in self-defense as she spoke.
On the outside, I smiled and nodded
along as she talked, and even humbly
thanked her for sharing her concerns.
But on the inside, I was anything but
gracious.
Who does she think she is? I fumed as I
walked away from the conversation. She
has no right impose her own personal
convictions on me! Shes just being a
self-righteous goodie-goodie!
Looking back, Im ashamed to remember
the uncharitable thoughts that I harbored
against my friend. Instead of being humble
and open to correction, I immediately
attempted to justify my position by lashing
out at the person who had spoken Truth
into my life. After all, if I could discredit
the messenger, I wouldnt need to heed
the message of conviction she brought.
As I drove home, I mentally made a list
of all the reasons I shouldnt bother
listening to her. By the time I finished my

Be willing
to listen to the
Spirit of Gods gentle
tug of correction.

inner diatribe, I had labeled my friend an

uptight, holier-than-thou legalist whose
narrow-minded opinion should be thrown
out with yesterdays garbage.
How convenient! Now that I had settled
the fact that my friends concerns were
worthless, I could go along my merry way
and not have to change a thing. What a
relief.

extreme her concerns were. The more

I focused on all the things that were
wrong with her, the more I could justify
the compromise I was allowing into
my life.

The more I
focused on all the
things that were
wrong with her, the
more I could justify
the compromise
I was allowing into
my life.

From that point on, I had no question

in my mind that my friend was totally
off-track in her thinking, and even in her
walk with God. I actually began to feel
sorry for her, truly believing that she
was in bondage to legalism and selfrighteousness. Whenever I remembered
her gentle correction, I would shake my
head sadly and pray for her, asking God
to open her eyes to how ridiculous and

But about a year later, God did a major

work in my life, and my entire perspective
changed. As the Spirit of God purified
my soul and purged my life of sin and
compromise, one of the biggest areas He
challenged me in was my participation in
ungodly movies. Id been allowing dark
and worldly messages into my heart and
mind under the banner of entertainment.
My friend had been rightthe movie shed
challenged me about was not pleasing to
God, and it wasnt fitting for a daughter
of the King to watch, let alone share with

others. Suddenly I realized that the way

Id painted up my friend was completely
wrong. She wasnt a holier-than-thou
legalist. She was a loving sister-in-Christ
who simply wanted to point me to Jesus.
She was a tool that God had wanted to
use to bring gentle correction to my soul.
But sadly, I had taken the bait of selfjustification instead. I was so interested
in defending my choices and not having
to change that I had been lying to myself
in order to avoid conviction. Thankfully
God got my attention and brought me to a
place of true repentancenot only in the
area of ungodly movies, but in allowing
the sin of self-justification to creep into
my heart and mind.

God got my
attention and
brought me to a
place of true
repentance
Self-justification is one of the sneakiest
and most subtle forms of deceit that the
enemy uses in the lives of Christians.
When we are not open and eager for the
Spirit of God to correct and refine us, we
spend a huge amount of time and mental

energy trying to convince ourselves that

we are just fine the way we are. When a
fellow Christian challenges us with Truth,
it either hurts our pride or touches on an
area of compromise in our life that we are
unwilling to give up. And the only way to
avoid admitting that we are in the wrong
is to lash out at that person and try to
discredit them. If the enemy can get us
obsessed with the messengers faults and
flaws (whether real or imagined), he can
distract us from responding to the Spirit

When we are blinded by selfjustification, we often believe that we are

seeing clearly to remove the speck in
someone elses eye, when in reality we
have a huge plank in ours the entire time.

of Gods gentle tug of correction upon

our soul. When we are blinded by selfjustification, we often believe that we
are seeing clearly to remove the speck in
someone elses eye, when in reality we
have a huge plank in ours the entire time.
I remember once meeting a young lady
who had been a huge fan of one of my
books on purity. She promoted the book
to all of her friends, and highlighted all of
the sections that had personally impacted

her. But then she fell into sexual sin,

and suddenly she began to despise the
book. Instead of eagerly sharing it with
her friends, she criticized and mocked
the books message of purity. She even
went through the book and made notes
in the margins, listing all the reasons
she disagreed with the books message.
A few years later, when God convicted
her of the sexual compromise in her life,
she repented and began living in purity
once more. Ironically, my book became

one of her favorites again! But while she

was enslaved to sin, self-justification had
caused her to become obsessed with
discrediting the message of purity.

When we truly
love our God...
then we will
actually welcome
correction and
conviction
The Pharisees were professional selfjustifiers. They were so busy proving to
themselves and to everyone else that
they were just fine the way they were that
they completely missed the message of

repentance and freedom Christ came to

bring. It was a message that could have set
them free. But instead, self-justification
blinded their eyes and hardened their
hearts, and they remained dead in their
sins. Self-justification drove them mad
with hatred toward Christ, and eventually
led to them killing the One who died to
save them. As the Pharisees example
proves, self-justification is not something
to mess with or take lightly!
So can we avoid letting this insidious sin
creep into our lives? The key is remaining
open and correctable to Gods Spirit
at all times. How? By desiring Him
above all else. When we truly love our
God with all our heart, soul, mind, and
strength, then we will actually welcome
correction and conviction, because we

know that it will bring us closer to Him.

On the flip side, when we have idolatry
in our life, we often spurn correction
and conviction, because our sin is more
important to us than being right with
God.
When you hear a message of that brings
conviction to your souleven if it stings
a bitdont immediately try to justify
yourself or start criticizing the person
who is speaking Truth into your life.
Rather, come before God with a humble
spirit, and ask Him to gentle refine and
correct you, and make you more like Him.
Be willing to admit you are wrong, repent,
and walk the other direction. Remember,
God opposes the proud, but gives grace
to the humble (see James 4:6)!

WHAT ABOUT
UNGODLY
CORRECTION?
Of course, there may be times when
someone attempts to challenge you in
an ungodly, un-Christ-like wayspeaking
lies or false accusation under the banner
of Truth. (Eric and I have experienced
this all too many times in our role as
Christian leaders.) Should we receive this

kind of correction with an open, humble

spirit? No.
James 3:17 reminds us that wisdom
that is truly from above has specific
characteristics. Namely, it must be, first
pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to
yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without
partiality and without hypocrisy.
On the other hand, someone who
brings a message of Truth in a spirit
of harsh anger, envy, strife, discord,
hatred, or bitterness is not truly bringing
a message from the Spirit of God. As
James 3:13-16 points out, Who is wise
and understanding among you? Let him
show by good conduct that his works
are done in the meekness of wisdom.
But if you have bitter envy and selfseeking in your hearts, do not boast and
lie against the truth. This wisdom does
not descend from above, but is earthly,
sensual, demonic.
Ill never forget the time when a trusted
Christian pastor brought a correction to
Eric. For ten minutes, this man screamed
obscenities and horrible accusations at
Eric. He was nearly wild with rage and
anger. Though he claimed to be speaking
Truth that hed received from God, he
was profane and hate-filled with every
word he spoke.

Be willing
to admit you are
wrong, repent & walk
in the other direction.

At first we were not quite sure how to

respond. The man was a Christian leader.
Could it be that he was seeing something
important that needed to be corrected in
Erics life, even though his manner was
way off-track? But as we prayed about
the situation, God gently reminded
us that His Word clearly explains the
difference between wisdom that comes

from above, and wisdom that is earthly

and demonic. This mans correction had
none of the qualifications of Heavenly
wisdom, and all of the characteristics of
earthly, demonic wisdom. We were not
to humbly heed this kind of challenge.
Rather, God led us to forgive this man,
disregard his accusations, and move on,
keeping our eyes on Jesus.

AVOIDING THE
SELF-JUSTIFICATION
TRAP
The principle of Heavenly wisdom
verses earthly wisdom is important to
keep in mind when it comes to guarding
our hearts against self-justification.
When we become entrenched in selfjustification, well often excuse anger,
strife, discord, slander, gossip, bitterness,
and pride under the banner of speaking
Truth or standing for righteousness.
Many young Christians today do this
through blogs and social media postings
as a way of lashing out against other
Christians they disagree with. They are
so convinced that they are right and
the other person is wrong that they will
excuse ungodly behavior and prideful
or disrespectful attitudes in order to get
their point across.
But God does not communicate His Truth
in an ungodly way, as James 3 clearly
shows us. So if you find yourself lashing
out at fellow Christians because of their
convictions, or disagreeing with them in
a harsh, angry, or prideful manner, thats
a strong indication that youve become
blinded by the sin of self-justification.
Remember my attitude toward the friend

who corrected me about the movie? I

truly believed I was in the right and she
was in the wrong. I felt that my critical
thoughts toward her were completely
justified. But a closer look at my heart
attitude showed that the opposite was
true. Self-justification had blinded me
to Truth, convincing me that I had every
right to remain exactly as I was and ignore
the conviction God was trying to bring
into my life through her words.

When you are

free from the sin
of self-justification,
you become a
moldable vessel
in the faithful
Potters hands,
and He is able to
make you more
and more like
Himself.
If self-justification has crept into your
life, dont wait another moment before
repenting and choosing a different path,

by Gods grace. If you truly desire to

be close to God, then you must remain
open and ready to receive His correction
instead of shrouding yourself under
the false protection of self-justification.
Contrary to what the enemy wants us to
believe, being corrected by Gods Spirit
is actually one of the most amazing gifts
that God gives us. He does it because
He loves us. Proverbs 3:12 says, Whom
the Lord loves He corrects, just as a father
the son in whom he delights. So instead
of balking when conviction comes or
attempting to shoot the messenger
who brings godly correction into your life,
begin humbly receiving it and allowing it
to make you more Christ-like. When you
are free from the sin of self-justification,
you become a moldable vessel in the
faithful Potters hand, and He is able to
make you more and more like Himself.
What an amazing privilege!

Contrary to what
the enemy wants
us to believe, being
corrected by Gods
Spirit is actually
one of the most
amazing gifts that
God gives us!

common

JUSTIFICATIONS

e
l
c
i
t
r
a
a team

justification:

It doesnt hurt to unwind in front of movies or TV

on a regular basisand besides, what I watch is
better than what most other people watch.

STARTING IN HIGH SCHOOL

and ending just few years ago, I was an avid movie and TV show watcher.
In college especially, I would use TV shows as a chance to unwind, relax, or
even just as background entertainment as I worked on a design project. I
justified this with the following excuses: Well, I deserve a chance to unwind.
Its a fun, quirky, and...er...mostly innocent show anyway. All my friends are
watching it, so it cant be that bad. Its not like I am watching an R-rated movie
or anything. It is filmed with an artistic style so that probably means that, as
a designer, I should watch it.
Those are some of the excuses I told myself and, for the most part, these
shows would have been deemed fine to watch by most Christians in
America. However, roughly two to three years ago, God began to convict
me of many areas of my life that were not honoring to Him. This process of
sanctification didnt start with movies, but eventually His Holy Spirit began
to point out how this area of my life wasnt in alignment with how He desired
me to live. It was as if He was asking me what the result was of watching

jess

allow
His
pruning
process
these shows. Was the time I spent vegging in front of a screen bearing good
fruit or bad? I think my first response to this conviction was something less
than holy and along the lines of, Well, its not bearing bad fruit, God. Cant
we just say its bearing no fruit, or status quo fruit? Besides, what am I going
to do if my friends have a movie night? Or how will I be able to handle not
knowing what happens to that TV hero? As I thought about those excuses, I
could see how they reflected a lukewarm nature. I certainly had no desire to
be like the lukewarm church discussed in Revelations 3:16! In John 15 Jesus
says, Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every
branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit (John 15:2).
I can see now that during that time God had begun a work to prune away
things which werent bearing any fruit for His glory.
When I let the Lord begin His pruning process, there were two big areas that
I noticed were being affected by TV shows and movies: time and thoughts.
Clearly, the amount of hours I spent in front of that silver screen was eating
away at precious time I could have been doing something more productiveor
at least more wholesome. The second big area this bad habit was influencing
was my thoughts. When watching a particular TV show series I noticed that I
was constantly thinking about it, wondering how the main characters would

get out of whatever sticky situation they found themselves in, chuckling over
some witty saying, etc. It wasnt until I began to cut shows out of my life that
I really realized how much they were affecting my thoughts! The Lord made
it clear that what I was allowing to enter my mind through movies and shows
was influencing areas of my life that I didnt think could possibly be affected
by it. At first, I just began to be more careful about what I was watching.
Eventually however, as the Spirit began to shed light on different facets of my
life that werent reflecting His holiness, I thought, Hmm, I wonder if I cut out
romantic movies if I wont have to struggle so much with wanting an earthly
Prince Charming to come sweep me off my feet? Or, If I cut out all PG13 movies, I wonder if Ill have more wholesome, less battle/conflict-related
dreams?

...emotions and thoughts are so much

more grounded in Christ!
At first, cutting back on the screen time was challenging. I had to learn to
be content not knowing the plight of various TV show characters and I had
to practice how to gently excuse myself from movie outings with friends
to the latest superhero flick. Over time, however, it has been much easier
to continue to cut out movies and shows. The result has definitely been
worth it! Long bicycle rides out into the country to spend time talking with
my Savior have increased dramatically, Ive had much more time to spend
on worthwhile things, and my emotions and thoughts are so much more
grounded in Christ! If you havent done so before, I highly encourage you to
take a season away from the screen (and even some books!) to spend time
focusing on eternal things rather than temporal. I think you will find it to be a
rich, rewarding, and sweet time spent with Jesus.

r
e
h
t
a
he

justification:
My schedule is simply too busy to set aside focused
time to spend with God today.

OH MY this is one I have come up against many, many times

over. It is so easy to allow the busyness of life dictate the time we spend
in quiet with the Lord (or if we even spend any time with Him at all). I have
gone through seasons of my life where I look back and realize it has been
several days since I spent any significant amount of time in the Word or in
prayer. And I usually realize it when I begin feeling frazzled and stressed and
out-of-sorts. Temptations to be frustrated and brusque and impatient and
unloving are much more difficult to resist. Somewhere along the line when I
give into the justification I am too busy to take time out of my day to be with
my Savior, I start subconsciously stating He is not my priority. I am saying I
can live this life without Him, in my own strength. And as a result, I see the
damaging effects begin to seep into every area of my life.
If I believe Jesus is my source of life, then I will do whatever I can to spend
time with Him. Even when I cant sit down and have hours of uninterrupted
time with Him, I will go steal away when I see the opportunity of spending
precious minutes in His presence. And this doesnt come out of a legalistic
I must have my quiet time to be spiritual kind of mentality, but one that
desires to be with Jesus and cultivate my relationship with Him no matter
what other busyness comes my way.

Psalm 63:1 says, O God, You are my God; early will I seek You; my soul thirsts
for You; my flesh longs for You in a dry and thirsty land where there is no
water.

If I believe Jesus is my source of

life, then I will do whatever I can to
spend time with Him.
Psalm 105:4 says, Seek the LORD and His strength; seek His face evermore!
When this is the disposition of our hearts, taking time to be with God will not
simply be another part of our dayanother item to check off on our to-do
list. It will be something that we long for. It will be something we fight to see
happen. We will cut out other things in our day that would keep us from it.
And the more we spend time with Him, the more we will want to spend time
with Him. When we begin our day acknowledging Him and our need for Him,
delighting in Him, and growing in our love for Him, we will walk through the
rest of our day with a peace and joy that only comes from seeking and living
in the knowledge of His continual presencepresence that gives us what we
need to live the life He has called us to live.

d
r
o
L
e
h
t
k
e
e
S
;
h
t
g
n
e
r
t
s
s
i
&H
e
c
a
f
s
i
seek H

!
e
r
o
everm

justification:
Its okay to give into a little bit of laziness or selfindulgence when youre dealing with sickness.

THIS ONE really hit home for me this week. Even now, as I

was coming over to sit down and write my part for the team article, so many
thoughts came through my headOh, Grace, you did so much today; its
time to take it easy. Dont you realize you may need to have surgery done
later this week? You need some time to mentally prepare for that. You
havent been sleeping well, and you need a nap. Dont you feel that intense
pain? Why would you try to write with that going on?? Go lay down with
your heating pad. And the war inside my head waged strong. It is a humbling
thing to live with chronic sickness/pain/fatigue, and it has been even more
humbling for meespecially this weekas I have realized how easily I let
myself fall into the pattern of justifying wrong actions based on how I feel
from one day to the next. This thought pattern cannot remain!

grace
God is a God of order and constancy; He is not swayed by times and moods.
I am to be like Him. It really came down to something as simple as that.
Complaining, whining, self-pity, over-indulgence these things do not bring
glory to God; thus I cannot continue to participate in them. I, as a temple of
the living God, cannot host anything in meHis dwelling placethat does
not align with who He is. No matter how I feel.
Ive dealt with fairly significant health issues for most of my life, and fairly
severe ones for the past two and a half years. It has not been easy, and I have
not always responded correctly. God, in His great mercy, has been faithful to
woo me to Himself so gently, so lovingly, and to open my eyes to my failures.
He has chiseled and pruned, molded and kneaded; He has not left me alone
to wallow in myself. And, through it all, I have come to understand some very
basic truths that seem so simple, and yet were so profound in my own life.

1.
Sickness/chronic pain/exhaustion/fill-in-the-blank does not change your
calling as a child of God. You are called to love Him, to serve Him, to bring
Him glory with your life, to seek Him, to call on Him, to know Him, to live and
die for Him. What a calling this is! Revel in itdive into it with excitement to
know Him and be known of Him more and more!

 2.
Even if I dont physically have what it takes to even so much as get out of bed
on any given day, God still calls me to Himselfto deny myself, take up my
cross and follow Him. This may play out differently in physical ways from day
to day, but God remains the same.

3.
There is no provisionfor self-anything in the life of one bearing the name
of Christ. In Him, for Him, and because of Him do we live and breathe. We
cannot be using every breath for Him and His glory if we are wasting it on
self-pity, self-deprecation, discouragement, frustrations, and every other
emotion that I know all too well comes along with constant pain and sickness.

 4.
The diagnoses of this world must not control us. I have incurable, lifelong
pain, continual surgeries, and such other things in my diagnosis. I have been
told to expect depression, to find a counselor and go to therapy, etc. And
the temptation grows stronger when outside voice is given to these things.
And yet, when we truly knowour God, there is such joy. There is a longing to
share His goodness with everyone around you. Your focus becomes outward,
and there is no time for despondency because of your diagnosis, whatever it
may be. Listen to His voice, and His diagnosis: LIFE, and that more abundantly,
in Him.

5.
We must take every thought captiveevery single one. Does this edify and
build up? Does this strengthen and fortify? Is this drawing me closer into
the throne room of God? Is this profitable? The requirement to take every
thought captive or to be still and know that He is God doesnt diminish just
because well, I hurt really bad today, so Im going to just wallow in the juicy
steak of despair and discouragement for a while.
Dear ones, dont let the enemy use whatever it is in your life that you struggle
with (pain, health issues, etc.) to justify drawing you away from the One who
loves and desires you. Allow the King of kings to use this trial to refine and
purify You for His serviceoh! what an honor and joy it is to live life for Him
in every situation and circumstance!

Take every thought captive - every single one!

justification:
Your emotions rule you and define you. They
guide your day-to-day living, direct the decisions
that you make, and determine the way you treat
other people. Naturally, your emotions will
control youespecially as a womanyou really
cant help it! All must hail Queen Emotion!

HAVE YOU EVER

believed these lies? Have you

ever justified your actions based upon these falsehoods? Have you ever
pledged your allegiance and surrendered your will to Queen Emotion and
then excused all that followed her parade through your life?
Interestingly enough, the role that many of us as women give to Queen
Emotion is actually the role that the Spirit of God is to have in our lives (yes,
you read that right!). Living according to the swaying of our hearts and the
flutters of how we feel, manipulating others based on how we act, and being
controlled by the angry steam or giddy bubbles that well up in our hearts all
testify of a life that is not being guided by the Spirit of God. For those who
live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those
who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit (Rom. 8:5).

mandy
Your emotions and my emotions, if not fully surrendered to the Spirit of God
and daily held in check by the power of Gods Word in our lives, are infinitely
dangerous. The displacement of emotions control is a must if we truly desire
to follow Jesus Christits a part of the command to deny ourselves. If
anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross,
and follow Me (Matt. 16:24, emphasis added).

t
o
n
n
a
c
e
r
e
h
T

r
o
f
t
f
e
l
m
o
o
r
e
b

.
e
l
u
r
o
t
n
o
i
t
o
em

If we are claiming to live lives that are set-apart for Christ, there cannot be
room left for emotion to rule. Every thought must be taken into captivity,
we must live with a wide-eyed vigilance, and we must guard our hearts with
all diligence that Christ might be honored in our inner (wo)man and by what
flows out of our lives (2 Cor. 10:5; 1 Pt. 5:8; Prov. 4:23).
Please note that I am not intending to suggest that emotions are bad, wrong,
or evil. Emotions are a good thing, even a blessing from God Himself! Imagine
if there was no cresting joy in your heart when spring finally arrives after the
cold of winter. Or if in the birth of a new baby, everyones faces were flatlined. Emotions are a gift. Emotions can be a beautiful accent in the human
life, but only when they are just thatan accent that serves the agenda of
God in our lives.
If youve struggled with justifying your actions, thoughts, and attitudes based
on what you think and how you feel, take some time to be alone with God
and walk through this area. Acknowledge your wrong to God; ask for His
forgiveness and for His grace to enable you to walk His way. As you step
forward, ask God to sensitize you to the onset of emotion and for His strength
to spring into obedience. God delights to lead His children in triumph!
As Oswald Chambers said, When obedience is in the ascendant, He will tax
the remotest start and the last grain of sand to assist you with His Almighty
power!
Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ
2 Cor. 2:14a
+

THE
VIGILANT
HEART
by Jasmin Howell

I PREFACE THIS
article by saying I have always been
incredibly social and I love people. This
quality has been a blessing in my life
the more I have learned to speak and
act in relationships with wisdom, but
in my youth it sometimes got me in
trouble. I have such excitement and joy
being around others, but as I grew from
a young girl into a young woman, I was
not overly cautious with how I expressed
my excitement, or to whomparticularly
in my friendships with guys. No, I have
not always had discretion or wisdom in
my relationships, but I am thankful that
I can stand with Paul who expressed his
gratitude for the saving work of Christ,
and say, thanks be to God, who gives
us the victory through our Lord Jesus
Christ (1 Corinthians 15:57).
As a little girl, I always preferred the
company of boys and I always had plenty
of boys whom I considered friends. In my
young mind, boys seemed more reliable.
It was confusing to me that one day a
girl would be my friend, but the next day
she was an enemy. Girls seemed flippant
and I didnt ever know what to say to
other girls because I was afraid of them.
But with boys I could just be myself. I
didnt understand or enjoy the emotional

games girls played or the way they

talked behind each others backs.
They would laugh together and have
fun, but behind closed doors they
were exceptionally mean to one
another. When all the girls in my
class wanted to make bracelets or
be hall-monitors, I wanted to go
outside and play soccer. So I played soccer
with all the boys in the class. I became
their buddy and blissfully thought I could
exist in a carefree world of boys without
consequences.
Then came Danny. My best friend and
I would ride our bikes with Danny and
his friend Kenny. In the summer months
before grade six, the four of us would go
everywhere together. We had a blast, but
then one day Danny handed me a note.
It read, Dear Jasmin, I really like you. Do
you want to be my girlfriend? What?!
This wasnt supposed to happen. I was
grossed out and wrote him a note back,
with all of the eleven-year-old tact I could
muster, that read, Dear Danny, I really
like you as a friend, but I dont like you
the way you like me. It was the first time
I realized that maybe being friends with
boys was more complicated than I had
originally thought. This happened time

and again throughout my school years.

Couldnt we just be friends? I began to
become familiar with saying the words,
Sorry, but I only like you as a friend.
Was it really possible to only be friends
with a guy?
When I graduated high school, I started
to realize something that I hadnt before.
My enjoyment of the friendship translated
to the guy, I think youre fun and I like
being with you. My natural excitability
translated as You are really exciting
and amazing! And my carefree attitude
unfortunately blinded me to the fact
that the other two messages were being
delivered helter-skelter everywhere I
went. For years I had remained completely
and totally naive. In truth, I may have
chosen to be naive because I didnt want
to address the possibility that my actions

e
k
i
l
y
l
l
I rea
d,
n
e
i
r
f
a
s
a
u
yo
but...

contributed to the problem. This naivet

caused me no little discomfort when the
burden of responsibility fell on me to say,
Im sorry, I only like you as a friend and
back pedal out of the friendship. It always
led to tricky situations with guys which I
afterwards wished I had avoided.
The Bible uses these strong words for
a girl like I was: As a ring of gold in a
swines snout, so is a lovely woman
who lacks discretion (Proverbs 11:22).
Doesnt sound very beautiful, does
it? But what does it mean to have
discretion? Discretion comes from the
word discreet, which is defined as being
careful and using good sense in our
speech or actions towards others. This
verse shows that being guarded and
careful is valued and wise in Gods sight.
It protects us and those around us and is
the guard we place on our hearts which
allows Christ to cultivate in us the in-

corruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet

spirit, which is very precious in the sight
of God (1 Peter 3:4).

EVEN IN MERE
FRIENDSHIP, OUR
WORDS, INTERACTION,
AND DRESS ARE ALL
SAYING SOMETHING
Even in mere friendship, our words,
interaction, and dress are all saying
something and can give a guy hope for
more than friendship; in my case, my
overenthusiastic nature needed to be
tempered with a careful spirit towards
the guy involved. How were my actions
going to affect him? Throughout my
teenage life until I later met my husband,

I had a thought in the back of my mind

that if a guy misinterpreted our friendship
and decided that he wanted to date me,
it was not my responsibility that he felt
that way. He was the problem by reading
too much into the situation. What I didnt
know was that I was sometimes sending
mixed messages. Because of how God
designed the male-female relationship
primarily for marriage and intimacy, the
nature of our interactions with guys are
constantly communicating something.
So how can we exert carefulness in our
friendships with guys? As I discovered
time and time again, being a too-friendlyfriend with a guy and interacting with him
without a guard on my actions, words, or
enthusiasm created a lot of unnecessary
confusion for my guy friends and for me
too. The thing about being friends with a
guy is that ...neither is man independent
of woman, nor woman independent of

man, in the Lord (1 Corinthians 11:11),

meaning that our interactions with each
other have a reciprocal impact. At some
point I realized that in my heart there was
the matter of what my true focus was in
looking for friendships with guys in the
first place. As a young woman growing
in the Lord, I realized that my friendships
with Christian guys almost always came
with an unspoken question. It is the
same question that many girls have in
their minds when a new guy enters their
worldIs this the one? In an attempt to
sort out that answer for myself instead
of trusting Gods plan and waiting for it
to unfold, I entered into friendships with
guys to investigate if perhaps they had
the character qualities I was searching
for.
When God began to unearth the heart
at the root of my intentions, I saw that I

WHEN WE KEEP
our eyes forward and set our gaze on Christ,
He leads us away from a path of self-serving
behaviors in our friendships with guys and leads
us instead to the path of life, where our delight
and satisfaction is first and foremost Christ.

s
u
c
o
f
e
h
t
s
i
t
s
Wha
t
h
g
u
o
h
t
r
u
o
of
?
s
n
o
i
t
o
and em

opened the door to friendships to see if

there was the possibility for more. When
I discovered there wasnt and the guy
didnt have the kind of character I longed
forwhich was most often the caseit
was impossible to take back the things
I had said or done in the friendship or
the emotional time and energy I had
invested. Putting my heart on the line was
emotionally exhausting. Looking back on
my life, I cannot think of a single time I
became friends with a guy without the
thought, Is he the one? crossing my mind
at least once. Though I maintained my
physical purity until marriagein fact, my
husband was the first man I ever kissed
purity is not merely a physical notion,
and that is where the idea of discretion is
vitally important for us as girls. Each time
we open the door to friendship with a
guy, we open the possibility for a deeper
relationship. This deeper, intimate relationship found within marriage is a
beautiful design and the wise teacher
in Proverbs gives us guidance for how
our priorities are to be in this area of our
life: Keep your heart with all vigilance,
for from it flow the springs of life...Let
your eyes look directly forward, and your
gaze be straight before you. Ponder the
path of your feet; then all your ways will
be sure (Proverbs 4:23-26, RSV). Our
responsibility is to keep our heart with
vigilance, which means that we must act

as watchmen over our own hearts and

ponder the path of our feet. How are
we walking in our relationships? What
are we thinking about? What is the focus
of our thoughts and our emotions?

KEEP YOUR
HEART WITH ALL
VIGILANCE, FOR
FROM IT FLOW THE
SPRINGS OF LIFE
Friendships with guys can be blessings
and a lot of funmany marriages are
the result of God-given friendships.
When both a guy and a girl enter into a
friendship with discretion and a guard on
their hearts, then there is the possibility
for a God-led friendship to blossom into
more as He leads. This was the case with
my husband Mike and me. We maintained
a friendship for four years, but we often
hung out together with our families or
with larger groups of people. We had the
opportunity to observe and enjoy each
other within the context of others, and

were always incredibly guarded about

being together alone because we both
had a desire to honor our future spouse
we didnt know our friendship would lead
in our marriage to each other. It was the
only guy friendship in my life that grew
into a romance because it did not begin
with an investigation, but with a heart
to honor God. Both Mike and I were at
the place where, though our admiration
and affection for each other grew and
our friendship became more and more
enjoyable, we walked with careful steps
with a guard on our hearts, our words,
and our interactions with one another.
Only with our eyes fixed on Christ can
a friendship with a guy ever produce the
fruit that brings God glory. If we trust that
He can bring the one into our lives, then
we dont have the need to engage guys
in friendships to test the waters. When
we keep our eyes forward and set our
gaze on Christ, He leads us away from
a path of self-serving behaviors in our
friendships with guys and leads us instead
to the path of life, where our delight and
satisfaction is first and foremost Christ.

HONORING
YOUR PARENTS
AS AN ADULT
by Heather Cofer

This past fall we were up in the

mountains with my family for a
mini-vacation. While we were
walking around in the adorable
mountain town browsing the
quaint little shops, my dad came across
something he really liked. Now, my dad
is the most amazing gift-giver I have ever
met, but it is very hard to buy things for
him. So when I had a chance, I snuck

back to the shop to purchase the item

for him. While there, I began chatting
with the lady helping me, telling her how
excited I was to find something for my
dad I knew he would like. I then rambled
a bit about how thoughtful he was and
how appreciative I was of him. She was
obviously somewhat taken aback by
how openly I was praising my dad and
expressed how sweet it was that I had

THERE IS NO AGE GIVEN

WHERE WE ARE LET
OFF FROM FOLLOWING
THIS COMMAND

such a good relationship with him, which

she seemed quite touched by.
Throughout the rest of the afternoon I
pondered my interaction with the woman
in the shop. After a while it dawned on
me just how unusual it is to hear an adult
child speaking well of their parents. There
seems to be an underlying thought even
amongst many Christians that once you
reach adulthood youre not required to
honor your parents anymore. There is
so often the tone of resentment and
criticism when people mention their
mom or dad in conversation.

HONORING
OUR PARENTS
BEGINS IN
OUR HEARTS
Sadly, we also live in a world where
many parents greatly hurt their children
during their childhood years, whether
physically, emotionally, or mentally. So
it is understandable why a great number
of people justify bitterness and dishonor
toward their parentsgetting them back
for the pain they experienced growing
up. And ultimately, no matter how good
or bad parents are, every single one
is sinful and does wrong toward their

children at some point or another. My

son is not even two, and I have already
had to repent many times of ways I have
acted in a sinful, selfish way toward him.
Although each one of us can probably
look at our parents and see things they
could have done differently or think
of things we disagree with them, we
still have a decision to make. As Christ
followers, we are called to follow all of
Gods laws, one of which is clearly stated
in Exodus 20:12 as well as a number of
other places in the Bible: Honor your
father and your mother Jesus actually
rebuked the Pharisees because they were
justifying not following this command
(Matthew 15:5-9). In Romans 1:30 Paul
specifically mentions disobedience to
parents coming as a result of people
turning their back on God.
There is no age given where we are let
off from following this commandin fact,
it is quite clear this is something that is
to be obeyed no matter how old we are
(Proverbs 23:22).
For some, this may not be a difficult
command to obey. But for others, this may
be very difficult to come to terms with.
It may feel like honoring and respecting
their parents is a dismissal or ignoring of

past hurt, or is giving allowance for their

parents to control their lives forever.
This is not the case at all.
First of all, honoring our parents begins in
our hearts. This means we must forgive
anything we may be holding against our
parents (Colossians 3:13). If we refuse to
give up bitterness toward them, we are
hindering the healing work of the Holy
Spirit and keeping Him from giving us
Gods love for them. We also need to
allow the Lord to show us ways in which
we may need to seek forgiveness from
them for any dishonor we have shown
them. Often it is through our humility that
the Lord will begin to work in the lives
of others who have done wrong against
us, even if we dont see it outwardly right
awayif ever.

Once our hearts are clear before God,

we can then ask Him to guide us in
what it looks like for us specifically to
show honor to our parents. It could be
holding our tongues in order to prevent
an argument, even if we disagree with
what is said. It might be going to them
to seek their counsel, even if in the end
we choose to do something differently.
It might mean going out of our way to
spend time with them, write them an
email, or make a phone call just to show
them we care about them being in our
lives.
Its also good to remind ourselves that
our parents have lived longer than us,
and so just by reason of age will have
more experience and wisdom in certain
areas than we have. So, even if your

THE LORD WILL USE

THIS OBEDIENCE FOR
OUR GOOD & HIS GLORY
parents arent Christian, they probably
still will have a wealth of knowledge in
other practical areas of life. If you go to
them in humility, asking their opinions
and listening to what they have to say, it
can go a long way in displaying respect
for them.
However it looks for each one of us
personally, the Lord will honor our
obedience to Him. We can know that for
sure, because of what is said in Ephesians
6:2-3: Honor your father and mother,
which is the first commandment with
promise: that it may be well with you
and you may live long on the earth. God
always keeps every one of His promises,
and this is no exception.
The Lord will use this obedience for our
good and His glory, just as He does in
every area of our lives that is submitted
to Him. It is absolutely amazing to see
examples of children (adult children) who
have chosen to take the Lord seriously in

this area, and have seen incredibly things

take place as a result. Where there was
once a chasm of hurt, there is now a vast
expanse of grace and forgiveness. Where
there was once contention and strife,
there is now joy and unconditional love.
I can testify of Gods incredible faithfulness in this area. Because of deliberate
choices I made to listen to, respect, and
honor my parents as I grew up, I now
have a very precious relationship with
them as an adult. I can go to them for
counsel, and they relate to me not only
as a daughter, but as a friend.
Dear sister, if you have been hurt or
neglected by your parents in any way, the
Lord longs for you to lay it in His hands.
As you submit this area of your life to the
refining work of Christ, you will not regret
it! He can take even the most broken of
relationships and use it to make you a
testimony of His supernatural grace and
love!

setap

THE 2015

JUNE 5-6

2015

hea

UND

The

JOIN US IN
COLORADO
- OR BY LIVE SIMULCAST!

REGISTER HERE
REGISTER by
Feb 14 & SAVE!

passion

JOIN LESLIE LUDY &

An event for w

partgirl presents

ANNUAL CONFERENCE

art

DIVIDED

n of a Set Apart Woman

& OTHER GUEST SPEAKERS

women of all ages!

Based on Leslies

BRAND NEW BOOK!

PRE-ORDER
HERE!

AN EVENT FOR THE MEN IN YOUR LIFE!

the COURAGEOUS stand

GAINING A SURE FOOTING UPON THE WORD OF GOD

The Annual BRAVEHEARTED MAN Conference

JUNE 12-14, 2015

WINDSOR, CO | OR ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD
Hosted by Eric Ludy

The Bravehearted Man Conference is a weekend designed to stick the grit back in the Christian man, the pluck back in the preacher, the growl back in the father, the purpose back
in the husband, and the life back in the believer. This conference will pull no punches and
promise no comfort. It will not be a retreat, but rather a call to the front lines of warto see
men made ready, in this hour of dire need, to live strongly, suffer joyfully, and die singing
for the Glory of Jesus Christ. Are you ready to make a courageous stand?

register here

Have
summer
plans?
SPEND A SEMESTER AT ELLERSLIE

JUNE 20 - AUGUST 23
VISIT ELLERSLIE.COM FOR INFO

Ellerslie
Leadership Training

Part 10 of the series :

CHRIST-CENTERED MOTHERING

brought to you by:

PREPARING OUR
KIDS FOR REAL
CHRISTIANITY
Dreaming Gods Dreams
For Our Children
by LESLIE LUDY

NOT LONG AGO,

Hudson felt God speak to him about his
future. He learned about the many needs
in the country of Cambodia and feels called
to be a missionary there someday. Already,
hes begun to prepare to live overseas, even
though hes only nine. Hes been challenging
himself to eat more rice (something he
doesnt really like), and do extra homework in
hopes that he can graduate early and begin
language study and missionary training
during his teen years.

her children the opportunity to do whatever

they want to do, go wherever they want
to go, and achieve personal satisfaction.
Encouraging our kids with inspiring self-fulfillment messages such as do what makes
you happy! is considered healthy for a
childs outlook and future.

It has been really exciting to see his passion

to share the Gospel begin to develop such
a young age. While I know that Hudsons
future plans may shift a bit as he grows up,
its clear that God has been working in his
heart to give him a deep burden for reaching
the lost. He is aware that choosing the life
of a missionary may mean discomfort and
difficultly, but he is catching the vision for
the kind of poured-out existence that God
has called him to live.

But when we train our children to be self-focused as they think about their life and
future, we are diminishing their understanding of the Gospel and limiting what God
can do through their lives. Self-fulfillment
and the pursuit of personal happiness isnt
all its cracked up to be. A life built around
selfish desires only leads to emptinessas is
clearly evidenced in the miserable, wasted
lives of the rich and famous that we see on
the tabloids and in the news. Celebrities
have everything that supposedly brings
fulfillment. Yet they dont have anything
beyond self to live for, and their lives lack
true purpose which often plunges them into
drugs, alcohol, affairs, depression, and even
suicide.

As mothers in todays world, we hear countless messages about helping our children
achieve their full potential and realize their
destiny. Enabling our child to go after their
dreams and pursue happiness is considered one of the loftiest achievements of
parenthood. We are often led to believe
that an excellent mother is one who gives

Happiness is found in the

center of Gods will.

praying
DILIGENTLY

Jesus said, Whoever desires to save his life

will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My

sake will save it (Luke 9:24). In other words,

when we encourage our kids to cling to their
lives, make their own plans, and pursue their
own dreams, we are not leading down the
path of true life.
The Bible makes it clear that the only kind
of lifestyle that brings real happiness and
fulfillment is one of self-denial and sacrificial
love. So why not encourage our children
toward that kind of future, instead of a shallow and self-focused one?
Sometimes people look at me cockeyed
when I tell them that my son is preparing for
the mission fieldthat hes training for a life
of hardship, suffering, challenge, hard-work,
and spiritual battle. Dont you want him to
be happy and comfortable when he grows
up? Dont you want him to get a well-paying
job and live the American dream? their incredulous statements and comments imply.
Yes, I long for my children to find true happiness. But I know that it doesnt come in
the package that most people today think it
does. Happiness cant be found in material
comforts, personal success, or the American
dream. Happiness is found in the center of
Gods will. And Gods will for our childrens
lives is usually very different from what our
society applauds.

SURRENDER THEIR LIVES

& RADICALLY LIVE FOR HIM

SET APART family

Thats not to say that having a nice house
or well-paying job is bad. But if that is the
ultimate dream we have for our children, we
are not dreaming Gods dreams for their futures. He desires them to be ambassadors
of the Gospel, no matter where they live
or what they do. Money and possessions
should only serve that goal.
My deepest desire for my children is that
they would surrender their lives to Jesus
Christ and radically live for Him, holding
nothing back. Most of the men and women
Ive met or heard about who have chosen
this life are not among the rich, famous,
comfortable, or successful. Rather, they are
the true heroes of the faith that Hebrews
describes as destitute, afflicted, ill-treated.
But the Bible also says that these are men
and women of whom the world is not
worthy. My ultimate dream is that my children would be counted among these great
heroes of the faithnot applauded by this
world, but applauded by Heaven.
As Christian parents, we must always remember that this earth is not our homeor
our childrens home. We are merely pilgrims
passing through, and our true citizenship
is in Heaven. So as we help our children
shape their vision for the future, lets be
sure we are promoting them down a path
of real Christianity. Lets be sure we are
not passing on a soft Gospel in which they

can live a self-focused life and tag Jesus on

somewhere in the background. Lets be sure
that they are pursing Gods dreams for their
livesnot the worlds empty allurements.
Remember that God has entrusted our children to us for a short season, not so that
we can cling to them and shape their lives
according to our own desires. Rather, He
gives them to us so that we can surrender
them back to Him.

He gives them to us so
that we can surrender
them back to Him.
One of the most powerful stories Ive ever
read is the story of John Patons father
in 1858, on the day that John left for the
mission field. His father had always desired
his son to live a poured-out life for Jesus
Christ. He had prepared him, trained him,
and helped him discover a passionate, vibrant, daily relationship with Christ. Now,
John was grown, ready to sacrifice his very
life in order to bring the Gospel to the lost.
His father knew that he would very likely
never see his son again once he left for the
mission field. Here is Johns description of
their parting:
My dear father walked with me the first six miles
of the way. His counsel and tears and heavenly

conversation on that parting journey are fresh

in my heart as if it had been but yesterday;
and tears are on my cheeks as freely now as
then, whenever memory steals me away to the
scene. His tears fell fast when our eyes met
each other in looks for which all speech was
vain! He grasped my hand firmly for a minute
in silence, and then solemnly said: God bless
you, my son! Your fathers God prosper you,
and keep you from all evil! Unable to say more,
his lips kept moving in silent prayer; in tears we
embraced, and parted.
I ran off as fast as I could; and, when about
to turn a corner in the road where he would
lose sight of me, I looked back and saw him still
standing with head uncovered where I had left
him gazing after me. Waving my hat in adieu,
I was round the corner and out of sight in an
instant. But my heart was too full and sore to
carry me further, so I darted into the side of
the road and wept for a time. Rising up cautiously, I climbed the dyke to see if he yet stood
where I had left him; and just at that moment
I caught a glimpse of him climbing the dyke
and looking out for me! He did not see me, and
after he had gazed eagerly in my direction for a
while he got down, set his face towards home,
and began to return, his head still uncovered,
and his heart, I felt sure, still rising in prayers
for me.
I watched through blinding tears, till his form
faded from my gaze; and then, hastening on my

FULLY SURR

RENDERED?

SET APART family

way, vowed deeply and oft, by the help of God,
to live and act so as never to grieve or dishonor
such a father and mother as He had given me.
The appearance of my father when we parted
has often through life risen vividly before my
mind, and does so now as if it had been but an
hour ago. In my earlier years particularly, when
exposed to many temptations, his parting form
rose before me as that of a guardian Angel. It
is no pharisaism, but deep gratitude, which
makes me here testify that the memory of that
scene not only helped to keep me pure from
the prevailing sins, but also stimulated me in
all my studies, that I might not fall short of his
hopes, and in all my Christian duties, that I
might faithfully follow his shining example.

He gives them to us so
that we can surrender
them back to Him.
This story never fails to challenge me with
the question: have I surrendered my children completely to God? Am I willing to
allow Him to do whatever He wants to do
with their lives and futures? If He calls them
to suffer for His sake, am I willing to allow
it? If He calls them to a life of difficulty and
sacrifice, will I allow it? Will I continually
point them toward the narrow path, even
if it means they will not be recognized or
applauded by this worldeven if it means
that God may call them to the ends of the

TIME TO LOVE & NURTURE

SET APART family

earth, far away from where I am? Do I long
for their lives to reflect His glory rather than
reflect my own parenting achievements?
In the eternal scheme of things, it really
doesnt matter if my children graduate at the
top of their class, become amazing athletes,
or receive worldly accolades. All that really
matters is that they give their lives wholly
and completely to Jesus Christ and live for
His glory alone. So each day of my parenting
journey, it is my goal to point them toward
that end.
If that is your desire for your children as well,
here is one practical way to begin:

Give Them
Deeper Truth:
Our world promotes shallowness. Even
Christianity has become shallow in many
circles. Kids are capable of grasping much
deeper truths than we often give them
credit for. But if we are facilitating a shallow, worldly lifestyle built around television
and video games, or a fluffy Christianity that
leaves them comfortable with mediocrity,
their hearts and minds will not be able to receive the deeper truths of Gods kingdoms.
So we must be purposeful about bringing
rich Gospel truths into our conversations
and activities at home. Here are a few of

the tools that have helped me with this goal:

Torchlighters Seriesthese powerful animated videos detail the lives of Christian heroes
throughout history, such as Richard Wurmbrand, Jim Elliot, Amy Carmichael, Corrie
ten Boom, Eric Liddel, and Gladys Aylward.
These videos have been a wonderful way
for our kids to catch the vision for true
Christianity, and it has sparked some amazing discussions around the dinner table!
Kids of CourageVoice of the Martyrs has
created a wonderful resource that helps
kids gain a heart for the persecuted church
and what it means to suffer for Jesus. The
Kids of Courage materials have given our
children a heart for Christians around the
world that are suffering for their faith; they
have been promoted to pray for them, write
letters to them, and even send money and
gifts. Reading testimonies about those who
are standing strong for the faith under persecution has helped them get their eyes off
themselves and has greatly deepened their
understanding of the Gospel.
Stories from the mission fieldwe have several close friends and ministry associates who
are working in overseas mission situations,
especially in orphanages around the world.
Whenever possible, we expose our children
to their testimonies and accounts of how
they have seen the faithfulness of God even

among the difficulties they face on a daily

basis. Taking Hudson to Haiti also made a
tremendous impact upon him and opened
his eyes to the incredible need around the
world. As our kids get older, our desire is for
them to gain a lot of firsthand experience in
mission situations, in order to prepare them
for the poured-out lives God is calling them
to!
Personal testimoniesEric and I have become
purposeful about sharing with our children
the many specific ways that God has challenged us, trained us, convicted us, refined
us, and shown Himself faithful in our lives.
Recently I took Hudson on a special outing
and told him in detail about the time I first
surrendered my life to Jesus Christ. Hearing
firsthand accounts of how the Gospel has
changed and impacted our lives has made a
significant and lasting impression upon our
children and giving them a great passion for
the Gospel.

+++
Isnt it exciting to realize that Gods plans
for our children are so much bigger and
better than anything we could plan for them
ourselves? This week, I encourage you to
pray God-sized prayers over your childrens
futures, point your children toward His
dreams for their lives, and then watch and
see what He will do!

READ MORE AT:

www.setapartmotherhood.com

TAKE IT DEEPER:
Read: Philippians 3:20
Reflect: Am I pointing my children down the narrow way of the Cross? Am
I giving them Gods dreams for their future instead of the worlds? In what
areas might God be asking me to exchange my own dreams for His? How
would this affect my childrens perspective toward their future?

kiddo spot

cute lil things the Ludy kids are saying & doing
KIPLING, AGE 6
Kip continues to be one of those rascally-yet-delightful little boys that keeps us smiling and chuckling daily. His trademark symbol is Dub 6 (because Dubber is his nickname and he is 6 years old!)
and he puts Dub 6 on just about everything he can get his hands onincluding his toy boxes, teeshirts, Legos, backpacks, napkins, and storage containers. Kip has a secret agent spy notebook
(its a froggy notepad that we got at the dollar store!) and each night he records his secret spy language that nobody can read except him! Kip is always making big plans for the future. When he
heard about the underground church in other countries, he drew a diagram of a church building
underneath the ground and told me all about his plans to go overseas and dig underneath the dirt
so he could build an underground church for the Christians there.

HUDSON, AGE 10
Hudson turned double digits in December! He was excited but also a little sad as he grappled with
the fact that he would never be single digits again! He loves to make Lego creations
and Lego short films, and is working on some Lego Bible story movies that
are quite epic! This past year, Hudson caught a vision for going to the
mission field and is already planning and preparing for the future!
It is so fun to see God shaping his vision, personality and gifts
as he grows older!

HARPER, AGE 8
Her birthday party this year was so grown up! She had an Asian tea party at Nanas house, and
as I watched her sip tea with her friends, I was reminded how much of a little lady she is becoming!
She received her first sewing kit, and within twenty-four hours had already made a wallet, a pillow,
and done several repairs on various dolls and stuffed animals that needed fixing! Sad to say, her
sewing skills have already exceeded mine!

AVY, AGE 5
Avy has developed her own sense of style, and each morning it is quite hilarious to see what kind of
outfits she has come up with. One of her favorite winter styles is to put a swimsuit over leggings,
layer on a cropped cardigan, and then wear white shiny dress shoes and a bo-ho style pink headband to complete the look!

LILY, AGE 3
Lily is a non-stop chatter box and a spunky little fire-cracker! She is gifted with amazing leadership
abilities and continually tries to take charge of all the other kids and tell them whats what. She
loves to pretend to be a doggy and she greets each day with incredible enthusiasm and excitement.
One of her favorite statements to me is, Mommy, I love you cuz youre funny! which is quite hilarious, since I am never doing or saying anything comical when she tells me this.

REES, AGE 3
Rees turned three in February! He loves his big brother Hudson and greets him each morning with
a great big bear hug! Everynight before bed he asks me to sing him a song about Rhinos, airplanes
and tigers so I assume these are a few of his favorite things! Though Rees
can be a bit of a rascal, he is one of the sweetest lil guys Ive ever
met, with a shy smile that can melt my heart even during moments of frustration!

devotionals
setapartgirl

ONLINE
DEVOTIONALS
FROM LESLIE LUDY
& THE SET APART
GIRL TEAM

GETTING TO THE
HEART OF SET APART

GET WE
EKLY
DEVOT
IONALS
TO
ENCOU
R
A
G
E YOU
DOWN
THE NA
RRO
ROAD O
F CHRIS W
TFILLED
FEMINI
NITY

THE
LATEST:

JOYFUL IN SUFFERING
BY HEATHER COFER
I have always been somewhat afraid of suffering. Even
though I know the Lord will give me everything I need
to walk through any form of suffering, it has always
been more head knowledge than heart knowledge.
That is, up until recently.
This past year I have been the observer of many dear
Christian people walking through sufferingvery,
very deep suffering. Losing children, severed relationships, the loss of family members or friends As
I have witnessed others walking through these things,
there is one thing that has been made blatantly evident: God is always good. Instead of these tragedies
drawing them away from Christ, they have allowed
the Lord to use them to build greater strength, trust,
and unshakeable joy in the midst of the greatest of
storms. ...

+ READ THE REST HERE.

socl

SISTER OF THE
COMMON LIFE:
Meet Hannah
FROM SOUTH CAROLINA TO INDIA

WHEN DID THE LORD FIRST PUT

MISSIONS ON YOUR HEART?

CAN YOU TELL US A SPECIFIC EXAMPLE

OF SEEING GODS FAITHFULNESS AS A
RESULT OF YOUR OBEDIENCE?

When I was about seven years old, my mom used China as an

example in answer to my question of what abortion was, and I simply
stated that when I grew up I was going to go help the girls that no
one wanted. My sisters and I were also raised on missionary stories,
and it seemed natural to have the burning desire to do something
great for the weak. It has only been somewhat recently, though, that
I have seen how much selfishness there can be in the idea of my
calling rather than being submitted to His will and His burden for
the world. It has only been as I have personally gained a clearer view
of what the Good News really is that I have gained the beginnings of
a burden to see the Gospel clearly proclaimedrather than seeing it
as a duty and drudgery. It is truly God who works in us both to will
and to do for His good pleasure!

He is so faithfulit is hard to pick just one show of His faithfulness!

Learning to follow Him one step at a time in trust without a care
in the world has seemed to be the theme overseas. A couple years

AGE: 23
HEROES OF THE FAITH: Amy Carmichael, Gladys Aylward, and Andrew
Murray

A FAVORITE QUOTE: If you felt you could not do it, you are on the right road, if
you let yourselves be led. Accept that position, and maintain it before God: My hearts
desire and delight, O God, is absolute surrender, but I cannot perform it. It is impossible
for me to live that life. It is beyond me. Fall down and learn that when you are utterly
helpless, God will come to work in you not only to will, but also to do. - Andrew Murray

SOME OF MY FAVORITE THINGS: The books of Hosea and John, sunrises

and sunsets, mountains, the exhilarating feeling of Jesus-centered fellowship, rich
music, spicy food, worshiping with Asian brothers and sisters, speaking Mandarin,
just being with disabled/abandoned children

ago, He was clearly closing my time working at a certain project, but

I did not feel that I was supposed to return to the States. I searched
earnestly for another place to work in Asia (you wouldnt think it
would be that hard to find, right?!), but every door was firmly shut.
He kept urging me to be at peace and surrender it all to Him. I
had to leave the country for visa reasons and was in Singapore with
friends for several days. I had a return ticket but no place to stay and
nothing to do once I arrived. Just three or four days before I was to
leave, He opened the door to work in an orphanage in India that
I had been desiring to visit for years. Those who wait on Him will
never be put to shame!

WHAT ARE SOME OF THE CHALLENGES

YOU HAVE COME UP AGAINST LIVING
OVERSEAS AS A SINGLE WOMAN?
I think there are several facetsone being staying in my God-given
position in regard to authority, which would include not ignoring or
overstepping the boundaries He has placed for us as women, giving
myself to flourish in the capacity He has given me to serve in, and
staying spiritually covered and guided. Also, there is the aspect of
being aware of what is considered virtuous and what is considered
flirtatious for women within my new culture (in some cultures I have
been in handshakes, eye contact, and even smiling and laughing are
deemed inappropriate).

THOSE WHO WAIT UPON HIM

WILL NEVER BE PUT TO SHAME.

WHAT ARE SOME WAYS YOU GUARD

YOUR PERSONAL TIME WITH THE LORD
IN THE MIDST OF LIFE AND MINISTRY?
Im not sure I am in a good position to answer this one! This is
something I am still learning to do, and have not been doing well of
late. When I was living on my own with foster girls I had more time
and space to get on my knees than my current situation of living
with a family. Taking advantage of any opportunity to run to His
feet, even if other activities suffer, and being in constant communion
with Him during the day are areas that I am needing to improve on.

IF YOU WERE TO TALK TO ANOTHER

YOUNG WOMAN INTERESTED IN
GOING OVERSEAS AS A MISSIONARY,
HOW WOULD YOU ENCOURAGE HER
TO PREPARE BOTH PRACTICALLY AND
SPIRITUALLY?
Pray, pray, pray! Hold even the most daily luxuries loosely. You will
not be a different person when you cross an ocean; you will be the
same person you are now at home! Let Him change you and purify
your motiveslearn to submit to Him now in all things.

read + listen
SET APART GIRL
RECOMMENDATIONS

ANNIES PICK:
Word of Promise
NKJV Audio Bible
Several years ago, Leslie shared with me how she had begun
listening to the Bible on audio CD throughout the daywhile
getting ready in the morning, in the car running errands, or while working on various house
projects. Whenever Ive made this part of my own routine, it has had such an amazing
impact upon my thoughts and Spiritual focus. Its also a great help to memorizing scripture
or soaking your heart and mind in a portion of Gods Word you may be studying. And, as an
added bonus, this version has voice actors for each character and background noise that
paint a vivid landscape for whatever passage you may be listening to!

MANDYS PICK:
No Compromise: The Life Story
of Keith Green
by Melody Green
Over the course of the past four and a half years, Ive picked up
No Compromise, reading a chapter here and there. Each time I did, it seemed as though
the Lord had perfectly chosen those chapters to reach my heart in each unique season. I
was encouraged in my walk with God, convicted of sin, filled with new prayers, and gained
fresh passion for reaching souls for Christ. The book isnt written to persuade you that
this man, Keith Green, was perfect or didnt have struggles. Rather, it honestly shares the
deep working of God in his life and the struggles that became great victories. As you read
about Keiths blazing pursuit to truly know Jesus Christ and witness his radical obedience,
you will be sensitized to sin and compromise in your own soul, and will be fueled to live a
life of true devotion to Christ and to fulfill the Great Commission.
(Additional Note: The first slice of this book chronicles Keiths life before he encountered Jesus Christ
and contains details from his past that are mature in content.)

setapartgirl

PRINT EDITION
coming soon