The 10 Reasons Why We Fail

My research into the traits of influencers and achievers continues, and as I turn more pieces of
this puzzle around to fit the whole, more ideas appear to me as a fit for this space. In this edition,
reflections on falling short more precisely, why we fail despite ourselves.
1. Like Yoda said, you just dont believe it.
The crucial part of Yodas dialogue with Luke is believe. The human brain is a powerful
problem-solving and prediction making machine, and it operates via a multitude of feedback
loops. What matters most in the feedback loop dynamic is input what goes into the loop that
begins the analysis-evaluation-action process, which ultimately results in an outcome. Heres the
kicker: if your input shuttle for achieving a goal lacks the critical,
emotionally relevant component of belief, then the feedback loop is drained of octane from the
start. Another way to say that is why would you expect a convincingly successful outcome
when you havent convinced yourself that its possible?
2. Other people have convinced you of your station.
Ive always thought the know your station in life idea to be among the most pernicious we
humans have ever come up with. The only version of it I like is Tennessee Williams: A high
station in life is earned by the gallantry with which appalling experiences are survived with
grace. Love that Tennessee Williams. Whats more pernicious than the idea itself is that its
often heaved upon us by other people, and they convince us that we are what we are and wed
better just live with it because, well, thats what well always be. Really? Says who? Show me
the chapter on predetermined stations in the cosmic rule book, please. This also gets back to the
feedback loop dynamic, because if this external station scripting is part of your input, you can
expect sub-par outcomes all the time.
3. You dont want to be a distrupter.
The word disrupter has taken on such a heavy, mixed bag of meanings in the last few years.
Reading both popular psychology and business books, Im not sure if its a good or bad thing to
be. One thing seems certain the notion of disrupting anythingof being the water that breaks
the rockis scary to most of us. Reason being, disruption is perceived as a threat to our threatsensitive brains. Disruption means that consistency, stability and certainty might get jettisoned
for a time, and that puts our hard-wired internal defense system on high alert. Sometimes,
though, you have to override the alarms and move ahead anyway. If you never do, youll never
know what could happen.
4. You think, what if I die tomorrow?
We all think this from time to time. And you know what, sure, any of us might die tomorrow
all the more reason not to waste time thinking about it and hamstringing yourself from going

after what you want to achieve. Would you rather die as a monument to mediocrity or as
someone who never quit striving? Which leads to the next one
5. You wonder how you will be remembered.
The rub here is simply that, if you die tomorrow, will people remember you as someone who
clung to stability like an existential life preserver and is that what you really want? I know
for a fact that many people do want exactly that, because its a comfortable niche to occupy on
the obituary page. She/he was a good person, good friend, good. Good is fine, but it aint
great. You cant strive for great achievements by dropping anchor in Goodville. My take on this
is: its OK to wonder how youll be remembered, but dont let thoughts of good and nice and
stable effect that all important feedback loop, because if you do your brain will be happy to
oblige with lots of good and little else.
6. You think there must be a pre-established role for your life, and you might
be screwing with it.
This one also touches on the station idea discussed above, but it goes deeper than that. We
humans are prone to believing in something psychologists call agency. We want to believe
theres a reason for everything, and that everything has a prime mover an agent, whether
human or otherwise. So, we think, what if theres a reason we are what we are what if
celestial agency has determined it so? Should we be messing with that? The error in thinking
here is clear agency is a figment our brains rely on to manage difficulty with as little trauma
as possible. The first thing to do is recognize that, and then recognize that the role for your life
has only one true agent You.
7. Your career appears to be well-established and thats goodright?
Well, maybe thats good, sure. The question becomes, is established what you really want?
Maybe it is, and thats cool. But if established means you cant reach beyond certain imposed
parameters to achieve anything else that you truly want, then maybe it isnt so useful after all.
Like most things, this is a personal choice and it doesnt have a right or wrong answer. But its
worth acknowledging that you may very well be establishing yourself out of greater
achievements.
8. You are afraid of losing what you have built.
A totally legitimate fear, and one we should kick out of our perspectives as quickly as possible.
Heres one example why: Remember this little thing weve been suffering through for sometime
now called a recession? Remember how many people lost all or nearly all theyd built during
these last few years of economic erosion? The reality is, you can lose everything in a heartbeat
through no fault of your own, so why allow that fear to stop you from reaching out for what you
really want? This goes in the same basket as I could die tomorrow. Yes, true, we can lose, we
can die. So what? Push forward.
9. You think, maybe Ive hit my ceiling.

The proverbial ceiling so long have ye been with us, and yet so little have ye given us. I
side with the late great Peter Drucker who said (paraphrasing from this classic article on
Managing Oneself) if you reach a point in your career where you think you wont progress any
further, then start focusing on the next part of your life. Actually, he added, you should start
thinking about the next part of your life well before you begin it. The point is, forget
about ceilings and focus on achievement. When you start using the cultural shibboleth of
the ceiling as an excuse, you are achieving nothing and will continue to do just that.
1o. Confusion about where to go.
Of all of these 10 ideas, this one is to me the most difficult because
it plagues me almost constantly. Gearing up the cerebral feedback loop for achievement is one
thing, but without a sense of focus and direction, all of that energy isnt going to yield very much
in the end. My experience has been that sometimes you have to let the energy flow for a while
without too firm a sense of direction and see if focus emerges organically. Once it does, you can
then nurture it into a more structured method for getting where you want to go.
If you have thoughts on these 10 ideas, or suggestions entirely separate from them, please write
them in the comments section. I and others want to hear them, so let em rip!