Fathers vow fight for custody rights - Utica, NY - The Observer-Dispatch http://www.uticaod.com/news/x1686363575/Fathers-vow-fight-for-custo...

Fathers vow fight for custody rights

By COURTNEY POTTS
Observer-Dispatch
Posted Jun 19, 2009 @ 12:59 PM

Tom Jalowiec may not always know where his children are, but he definitely knows where they're supposed to be - it's all spelled
out in a court order.

An ongoing custody battle with his estranged wife has cost both sides thousands in legal fees and resulted in a visitation
schedule so detailed it includes alternating holiday arrangements for odd and even years.

Jalowiec, who lives in Sauquoit, is just one of thousands of fathers nationwide who are advocating for a change in how family
courts award custody, especially after a divorce.

They and their supporters say the current legal system is biased against fathers and that new laws could eliminate the creation
of an unnecessarily adversarial relationship between parents.

State Assemblyman Michael Benjamin, D-Morrisania sponsored legislation this year that would create a “presumption …
for shared parenting” in custody cases.

The bill will not make it out of committee before the end of the session next week, but Benjamin said he's already speaking with
the chair of the Committee on Children and Families about organizing a roundtable discussion on the subject this fall.

“I think it's an issue that's important to fathers and I think fathers should have some consideration when it comes to custody
cases,” he said.

Benjamin said advocates for fathers' rights he's met with have been “very zealous” about protecting their relationships with their
children.
One such group locally is the Utica-based National League of Fathers Inc., founded in April 2008 and led by John Kalil of New
Hartford.

The 500-member group recently called on Gov. David Paterson to commission a study on what it believes are human rights
violations in the handling of custody cases.

Local civil rights attorney Leon Koziol, who serves as the group's counsel, said their request has since been directed to the state's
director of Health and Human Services.

“At the very least I think they're extending us the courtesy,” Koziol said of the response. “It's an open door and they're giving us
the starting point for discussion.”

Like Benjamin, Koziol and Kalil are promoting shared parenting - where each parent has equal time with their children - as an
alternative to the traditional arrangement in which one parent receives physical custody.

The current system damages the parent-child relationship, they said. And since most custodial parents are women, they say the
system is especially damaging to fathers.

“Over time they become virtual outcasts from the childrearing process,” Koziol said.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, mothers accounted for about 84 percent of custodial parents in 2005.

Koziol said the term visitation itself is an insult to the relationship parents have with their children.

“Fathers aren't visitors in their children's lives,” he said.

Tom Jalowiec said he's fought divorce proceedings for five years because he doesn't want that to happen in his family.
His children's mother lives less than a mile from him in the same school district, and he wants to share time with them evenly.

Their current, court-ordered agreement only allows him to see them every other weekend and one night each week, he said,
except during summer vacation when he has them every other week.

“I hate it when the end of August comes,” he said. “I dread it because I miss the kids so much. I have to come home to a big,
empty house.”

Calls placed to Jalowiec's wife were not returned.

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