(BUG1E2)

Writing Paragraph
Created by Ima N. Kusmayanti
S1 Computational Science
School of Computing
Telkom University
2014

Pre-Writing Process

Think about an
umbrella topic
Create a really
specific topic

Choosing
Topic

Make an
outline
Related facts
Related incidents
Related reasons
Related examples

Choosing a Topic

Whats your
umbrella
topic?

Choosing Your
Topic

Whats your
topic?

Choosing
Umbrella Topic

Choosing a Topic

Phone

Features of
my i-Phone 4

My Phone

My iPhone 4

Making an Outline: Major Details

Single calling
and multicalling

Sending text
messages

Features of
my i-Phone 4
Browsing the
Internet

Taking pictures

Major details + Minor details

Features of
my i-Phone 4

Writing 1st Draft: Introductory Sentence

Technique: Amazing Fact
People around the world own different kinds of cell phones that
fit their bills and their needs.

Writing 1st Draft: Supporting Sentences

1st Detail: Example
1.

For example, I can send text messages to my friend or forward the text to my groups.

2nd Detail: Example

1.
2.

The second feature is single-calling and multi-calling.

I can call my mother and my father at the same time, and then, we would have a family
conversation.

3rd Detail: Example

1.
2.
3.

The third feature is sending pictures.

I can take a picture and send it to whoever I want.
I even can post it in my social network.

4th Detail: Example

1.
2.
3.

The fourth feature is browsing the Internet.

When you find a wi-fi spot, you can surf the Internet for free.
You can check your email and read e-book.

Writing 1st Draft: Topic Sentence

My choice is iPhone 4 and there are many activities that I can
do using my phone.
Pattern: Description

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Writing 1st Draft: Concluding Sentence

All in all, my iPhone 4 makes my life easier.
Technique: Opinion

11

1st Draft

People around the world own different kinds of cellphones that fit their bills
and their needs. My choice is iPhone 4 and there are many activities that I
can do using my phone. for example I can send text messages to my friend or
forwrd the text
to my groups. The second features is single-calling and
multi-calling. I can call my mother and my father at the same time, and then,
we would have a familyconversation. The third feature was sending pictures. I
can take a picture and send it to whoever I want. I even can post it in my
social network. Browsing the Internet is the fourth feature. When you find a
wi-fi spot,you can surf the Internet for free.You can check your email nd read
e-book. All in all, my iPhone 4 makes my life easier.
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Ask your friend and your

teacher to proofread your
paragraph!

13

1st Draft

People around the world own different kinds of cellphones that fit their
bills and their needs. My choice is iPhone 4 and there are many activities that
I can do using my phone. for example I can send text messages to my friend
or forwrd the text to my groups. The second features is single-calling and
multi-calling. I can call my mother and my father at the same time, and then,
we would have a familyconversation. The third feature was sending pictures.
I can take a picture and send it to whoever I want. I even can post it in my
social network. Browsing the Internet is the fourth feature. When you find a
wi-fi spot,you can surf the Internet for free.You can check your email nd read
e-book. All in all, my iPhone 4 makes my life easier.
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Revise your
paragraph.
Check citation

No COPY and PASTE

Check mechanics

Neatness (spaces, font,

size)
Commas, periods
Spelling, capitalization
Check grammar
Word choices and sentence
structures
Make all sentences impersonal
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2nd Draft

People around the world own different kinds of cell phones that fit their bills and their
needs. The best choice iPhone 4 due to several excellent features. For example, the
text messaging allows users to send a message and forward it to any groups available
in the phone using other apps, such as LINE, WhatsApp or BBM. The second feature is
single-calling and multi-calling. Users can call more than two people at the same time.
For instance, they would call their parents, and then, they would have a family
conversation. The third feature is sending pictures. Users are able to take a picture and
send it to whoever they wish. They even can post it in their social network. The fourth
feature is browsing the Internet. When users find a wi-fi spot, they can surf the
Internet for free. They can check your email and read e-book. All in all, iPhone 4 makes
life easier.
16

Revise your paragraph.

1. Check neatness of project
2. Check mechanics and spelling
3. Check sentence fluency
4. Check construction of idea
5. Overall task completion

17

Submit your paragraph to

your teacher.

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Lets compare the two drafts!

1st Draft

2nd Draft

People around the world own different kinds of

cellphones that fit their bills and their needs. My
choice is iPhone 4 and there are many activities
that I can do using my phone. for example I can
send text messages to my friend or forwrd the
text to my groups. The second features is singlecalling and multi-calling. I can call my mother and
my father at the same time, and then, we would
have a familyconversation. The third feature was
sending pictures. I can take a picture and send it
to whoever I want. I even can post it in my social
network. Browsing the Internet is the fourth
feature. When you find a wi-fi spot,you can surf
the Internet for free.You can check your email nd
read e-book. All in all, my iPhone 4 makes my life
easier.

People around the world own different kinds of

cell phones that fit their bills and their needs. The
best choice iPhone 4 due to several excellent
features. For example, the text messaging allows
users to send a message and forward it to any
groups available in the phone using other apps,
such as LINE, WhatsApp or BBM. The second
feature is single-calling and multi-calling. Users
can call more than two people at the same time.
For instance, they would call their parents, and
then, they would have a family conversation. The
third feature is sending pictures. Users are able to
take a picture and send it to whoever they wish.
They even can post it in their social network. The
fourth feature is browsing the Internet. When
users find a wi-fi spot, they can surf the Internet
for free. They can check your email and read ebook. All in all, iPhone 4 makes life easier.

19

Your writing score:

20

Now its your turn

to write!

References:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.

Fazio, Gene et.al. (1990). Practicing Paragraphs. Chicago: Hold, Rinehart, and Winston, Inc.
Greene, Anne E. (2013). Writing Science in Plain English. Chicago: The University of Chicago.
Jordan, R.R. (1999). Academic Writing Course. New York: Longman.
Kusmayanti, Ima N. (2014). Basic English for ICT Engineering Students. Bandung: Language
Center Telkom University.
Kusmayanti, Ima N. (2012). Communicative English for ICT Engineering Students. Bandung:
Dewa Ruchi.
Kusmayanti, Ima N. (2010). English for Academic Writing. Bandung: Institut Teknologi Telkom.
Oshima, A. & Hogue, Ann. (2005). Writing Academic English. New York: Longman.
Sari, Florita D. (2004). From Sentence to Essay. Bandung: STT Telkom.

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