Sexual Desire Checklist

I created this checklist in an attempt to find similar desires with my partner, and realized more people
may need a tool that opens up the mind and allows you to ask questions you may not normally ask. This
checklist is also something you can take on your own to figure out some of the things you might desire
by looking closely at each item and really thinking about how they make you feel.
This checklist will cover everything from your missionary style love making to the intense world of BDSM.
While I have done my best to cover most everything I can think of, there are always new things coming
up the line in the wonderful world of sex. So if you have a fetish, a kink, or something as simple as a
position or place that I may have missed, please leave a comment so I can update the checklist.
The checklist is going to start at the most basic and move its way to the more intense in a series of
sections. You may want to do this with your partner over a few different nights, crossing into the more
difficult questions after you see how you do with the less . . . shall we say . . . taboo questions.
This exercise did wonders for me and my partner, but please, if you do this, do it with an open mind!
There is nothing worse than undermining your partners fantasies or desires. There is not right or wrong
when it comes to sex. While some things may be undesirable to you, to someone else it may be the thing
they love the most about a sexual encounter. So try to be understanding.
Try not to shout out answers that shoot down the item youre discussing. If youre not into Paddles or
Electricity that is your right, but your partner might find it intriguing. If you shoot something down
quickly, they may not feel comfortable answering the rest of the questions. Also, remember you may not
agree on everything, which is okay! It doesnt mean you have to do everything your partner wants you
to; it just brings you closer to understanding your partner.
Most importantly HAVE FUN, and TALK to your partner about each Item you feel comfortable talking
about. My partner and I spent hours and days discussing each thing, and we had a blast, its a fun
experience, where you are sure to learn something new about your partner and yourself.
Okay lets get started!
Here is the Key for how to label your answers. You can adjust the key to fit your relationship or use what
I have here, anyway you answer is fine, this is just a guide to get you started.
NA

No Answer

Not applicable due to sex, or ability. You simply do not

want to answer the question. You do not understand the
Question.

Curious

You may not be sure you will like it or not, have not tried it
and are Curious about it. Its something you would like to

learn more about.

W

Wanted

This is something that you want very much and may have a
hard time without it.

Love

You love doing this.

Enjoy

You enjoy doing this, or would like to try this.

Neutral

You dont dislike, or like this, but if your partner likes it,
you will do it. Or you may be willing to give it a go.

Dislike

You dislike doing this, or you dont think you would like
this, but are willing to do this for your partner if they
Loved or Enjoyed it.

Hate

You hate doing this, or think you would hate it, but are
willing to give it a try, or do it for your partner if they
Loved or Enjoyed it.

Soft Limit

This may be something you do not see yourself enjoying

now, or doing now, but you might entertain it in the future.

Hard Limit

This is something you will never be able to do, and would

not ever see yourself enjoying.

Section one . . . The basics

Sexual Item

Intercourse ~ Vaginal

Have

Do to

done

your

to you

partner

Stipulations ~

Here you want to

make any comments that you might

want to bring you later, when going over
answers

Intercourse ~ Anal
Hand jobs
Fingering ~ Vaginal
Fingering ~ Anal

(fingers, no fist)

(fingers, no fist)

Oral ~ Male
Oral ~ Female
Oral ~ Anal
Sucking

(in stipulations say where)

Licking

(in stipulations say where)

Light Nibbles

(in stipulations say where)

Breast play
Body Massage

(with or without oil)

Use of lubricants
Sensation lubricants

(hot, cold)

Use of condoms
Use of birth control ~ Female

With the lights on

With the lights off
During the day
Only at night
During menstruation

(this should be

known in any relationship)

Ejaculation (female or male)

Swallowing Ejaculations
Ejaculation on Face
Ejaculation on body

Section two ~ Places

For this section saying what you are willing to do in each of these places under stipulations is a good idea. Since
this is not something you do to or have done to you there is only one answer column here.

Sexual Location

Stipulations ~

Here you want to

make any comments that you might

want to bring you later, when going over
answers

At home ~ bedroom
At home ~ kitchen
At home ~ Living room
At home ~ Dining room
At home ~ Garage
At home ~ Bathroom
At home ~ Laundry room
At home ~ basement
At a friends house ~ Private
At a strangers house ~ Private
In the car ~ parking lot
In the car ~ Driveway
In the car ~ Moving
In the car ~ street or garage
In the car ~ Parking spot
In the Shower at home

Shower at a friends/relative
Shower in a hotel
In a hotel
In a bed and breakfast
In a public place

(BDSM Club,

dungeon, bath house, etc.)

Outside ~ yard or patio

Outside ~ Camping or woods
Outside ~ Parking lot, street
Public transport ~ Bus
Private Transport ~ limo
Tailgating ~Private
Parties ~ Private
Stadium events ~ stands
Public Bathrooms
Work or office

Section three ~ Clothing

Sexual Clothing

Have

Do to

done

your

to

partner

you
Lingerie ~ soft fabrics
Baby dolls ~ soft fabrics
Booty shorts and tanks ~

soft fabric

Gowns ~ soft fabrics

Pj pants with or without a tank
Boxers ~ silk, joke, cotton
Jumpers ~ soft fabrics
Corsets
Bra and panties sets
Lingerie ~ leather

Stipulations ~

Here you want to

make any comments that you might

want to bring you later, when going over
answers

Baby dolls ~ leather

Booty shorts and tanks ~

leather

Gowns ~ leather
Chaps ~ leather
Latex ~ Lingerie
Latex ~ Baby dolls
Latex ~ Jumpers
Latex ~ Gowns
Latex ~ Spanking Skirts
Latex ~ Stockings
Latex ~ bra and Panties
Latex ~ Costumes
Costumes Soft Fabric ~ Nurse
~ Maid
~ Government
~ Military

~ Prison
~ School girl / professor
~ super hero
~ vampire
~ Witch
~ movie or book character
~ Animal
~ Beer girl
~ bartender/waiter
~ Adult baby
~ fire fighter
~ Cop
~ Dirty Princess/ fairy tail
~ Cook
~ cowboys
~ Indians

Full Hoods
Masks (gas, face)
High Heels
Thigh high boots
Knee high boots
Garters
Thigh High stockings
Fishnets
Ballet heels
Platform Heels
Flat shoes
Mary Janes

Section Four ~ Shower and Bath time fun.

Sexual Item

Have

Do to

done

your

to you

partner

Stipulations ~

Here you want to

make any comments that you might

want to bring you later, when going over
answers

Intercourse ~ Vaginal
Intercourse ~ Anal
Hand jobs
Fingering ~ Vaginal
Fingering ~ Anal

(fingers, no fist)

(fingers, no fist)

Oral ~ Male
Oral ~ Female
Oral ~ Anal
Sucking

(in stipulations say where)

Licking

(in stipulations say where)

Light Nibbles

(in stipulations say where)

Breast play
Body wash
Genitals wash
Anal wash
Foot scrub

Hair wash
Shaving ~ Legs
Shaving ~ Armpit
Shaving ~ Genitals
Shaving ~ Anal
Shaving ~ chest (men)
Shaving ~ back (men)
Water Massage ~

removable head

During Menstruation (this is a good place to

have sex during this time)

Section Five ~ Toys!

(Basic toys will be discussed here. Toys with a more direct purpose will be discussed with their subject. There are A
LOT of toys out there, so Im sure I will miss some, discuss some you know of with your partner as well.)

Sexual Toy

Have

Do to

done

your

to you

partner

Stipulations ~

Here you want to

make any comments that you might

want to bring you later, when going over
answers

Dildos ~ Realistic
Dildos ~ Glass
Dildos ~ Plastic, or Jelly
Male Masturbators

(eggs, fleshlights)

Dildos ~ Vaginal
Dildos ~ Oral
Dildos ~ Anal
Anal Plugs
Anal Beads
Vibrators
Strap on vibrators

(for self, butterfly)

Bullets
Vibrating Panties ~ private
Ben Wa Balls
Double penetration Dildos/Vibs
Double Headed Dildos/vibs

Breast pumps
Vaginal pumps
Penis Pumps
Nipple Clamps
Genital Clamps
Vibrating nipple Clamps
Vibrating genital clamps
Strap on Harness (for others)
Dolls, or penetrable body parts
Cock rings
Ticklers
Mechanical tongue
Fucking Machines
Tools with dildo attachments

Section Six ~ Fantasy and Role play

Here we will talk about some of the role plays you can have during sex, or fantasies you can play out, again these
will be basic or more run of the mill. More specific types of roles plays will be discussed in their sections.

Role play or fantasy

Nurse/Patient
Maid/Master
Secretary/Boss
Hooker/John
Stripper/Client
Paramour/married Partner
Knight/Damsel in distress
Little Red/Big Bad Wolf
Gender reversal
Teacher/Student
Physiologist/mental patient

Have

Do to

done

your

to you

partner

Stipulations ~

Here you want to

make any comments that you might

want to bring you later, when going over
answers

Age Play
Babysitter/Parent
Insets
Prisoner/Guard
Cop/Robber
Abductor/Abducted
Puppy,Pony,Pet
Vampire/Maiden
Super Hero/rescue
Fire fighter/rescue
Cheerleader/Jock
Farmers Daughter / Farm Hand
Religious
Interrogation
Debutant or Mermaid/Pirate
Rich/Poor

Cook / Patron
Service man/Housewife (can switch)
Salve/Master

(play basic)

Section Seven ~ Fetish

This does not include some BDSM that will be broken down into each section after this. Please remember to be
sensitive to your partner when learning about fetishes and try to understand that while you might not enjoy it
they do, and that is okay. Please remember to always stay safe, no matter what your fetish.
Sexual fetishism, or erotic fetishism, is the sexual arousal a person receives from a physical object, or from a
specific situation.

Fetish

Foot (Licking, sucking, worship)

Foot

(if not above describe in stipulations)

High heels
Voyeurism
Exhibitionism
Medical

Have

Do to

done

your

to you

partner

Stipulations ~

Here you want to

make any comments that you might

want to bring you later, when going over
answers

Body Piercing
Tattoos
Shaved or Unshaved
Bestiality
Big and Beautiful
Body Builders (muscle worship)
Urine
Panties
Stockings
Scat
Diapers/ Adult Baby
Insertions
Amputee Fetish
Agalmatophilia

Statues, mannequins

and immobility

MILF

(younger men and older women)

Asphyxiation or Strangulation
Chronophilia

(widely differing ages)

Vomit
Crush Fetish

(squashing animals, food,

or objects)

Formicophilia

(being crawled on by

bugs)

Frotteuism

(rubbing against non-

consenting persons)

Geriatric
Enemas
Breast feeding
Machines
Dirty Talk
Nasophila (noses)
Navel Fetish
Pornography

Sleeping
Food/Vegetables

Section Eight ~ Bondage

Bondage means using restraints for the sexual pleasure It may be used on its own. Please keep in mind Bondage
should only be used with trusting partners that have consented before it begins. BE SAFE have a pair of EMT
scissors available, and some cream for robe burn to apply after the scene. If you use cuffs, or other locking bondage
have extra keys, and make all the locks have the same keys. NEVER leave your partner alone. Also safe words are a
good idea. Avoid positions that will cause asphyxiation, and change them at least every hour to avoid circulation
problems. Eat before, and keep food around if your partner gets weak easy. Stay SOBER. Bondage does not need
to included domination, discipline or sadomasochism. You can still play around with light bondage, if you are not
interested in the rest. Certain Bondage items that are high risk will be left out, if you are doing them, you dont
need my list.

Bondage

Light Bondage~
~Headboard Bondage
~Neck Ties
~Velcro Cuffs
~Under Mattress Straps

Have

Do to

done

your

to you

partner

Stipulations ~

Here you want to

make any comments that you might

want to bring you later, when going over
answers

~ Door Cuffs
Rope Bondage
Breast Bondage
Materials ~
~Nylon
~Hemp
~Silk
~Chains
~Cable ties
~Plastic wrap
~Tape
~Collars
~Spreader Bars
~Stocks
~Crosses

~Horses
~Leads
~Manacles
~Harnesses
~Straight Jackets
~Chairs
~Cages
~Sleep Sacks
Being tickled while tied
Being teased while tied
Intercourse while tied
Anal while tied
Oral while tied
Given an orgasm while tied
Just tied and undone, no sex

Gags ~ Ball, Cleave, Ring, Bit

Genital Bondage

Section Nine ~ D/S ~

Discipline, Domination & Submission, Sadomasochism
While we covered Bondage it can play a big role in D/S. Again this is something that should be done with a
partner you can trust. You are not only testing physical limits here, but also mental. A safe word is a good idea
incase a mental or physical line is crossed unintentionally. The mind is a fragile thing and something you agreed to
may not be so good when its actually happening. D/S can be something simple like a light spanking or a way of
life. Here we will discuss some things that may happen DURING a scene that may give you ideas. It Is up to you
what you do with the information, but do it safely please.

Discipline, Domination or

Have

Do to

Submission.

done

your

to you

partner

Spankings by hand
~ Bottom
~ Breast/Chest
~ Feet

Stipulations ~

Here you want to

make any comments that you might

want to bring you later, when going over
answers

~ Back
~ Legs
~ Genitals
Beatings with ~
~ Crop
~ Paddle
~ Hairbrush
~ Floggers
~ Whips
~ Cane
~ Belt/Straps
Beatings with implements
Bottom
~ Back
~ Feet
~Breast or chest

~Legs
~Genitals
Spanking/ Beating Intensity
~No marks
~ Slight Marking
~Temporary Marking
~ Braking skin, bruising, cuts
~ Permanent marking
Face Slapping
Biting ~
~ hard leaving marks
~ Medium No marks
~Just a nibble
Breath control / play
Clothes pins ~
~ List body parts okay with

~ or full body
Clothing chosen for
Clothing earned as reward
Clothing lost as punishment
Collars ~ in public/private
Crawling/ Kneeling
Enema punishment
Food chosen for
Food earned as reward
Food taken away as punishment
Food from bowl
Food from hand
Food from body
Used as furniture
Used as latrine
Bladder control

Auctioned off
Lent out to others
Humiliation Private
Public Humiliation
Verbal Humiliation
Leash public
Leash Private
Positive reinforcement
Negative reinforcement
Orgasm denial
Orgasm on command
Forced Orgasm (with consent)
Lecturing or lessons
Forced Masturbation

(with consent)

Nipple/Genital Play ~
~ Clamps

~ Weights
Scratching
Ice Play
Fire Play
Hot Wax
Hair pulling
Suction
Needle play
Fisting ~ Anal
Fisting ~ Vaginal
Dilation ~ vaginal
Dilation ~ Anal
Double penetration
Triple penetration
Threesomes ~ any sex
Group sex

Public sex
Public Bondage
Public discipline
Housework
Cooking
Activities chosen for
Told when to speak
Called by titles only
Dominate
Submissive
Electricity Play
Speculum play
Forced oral (with consent)

Well I hope you enjoyed my checklist, and that you and your partner had fun doing it. I hope you learned a lot,
did a lot, and plan on doing even more! Leave comments if you think I need to add or adjust the list, or if you just

have something you want to say. If its rude feel free to keep it to yourself. This was all done for fun, and to
educate yourself and your partner on what you might like sexually.

Thanks Again . . . DarlingP