Appreciate Your Mate

A.Need for appreciationdeepest human

drives.

We tend to take mates for granted. We

grow accustomed to virtues and
strengths, and magnify faults &
weaknesses that irritate us.
We rarely mention good qualities but
magnify minor irritations.

One of the most prominent reasons why

marriages fail is thishusband and wife
presume that because they have obtained a
license to marry, their success is guaranteed.
If through presumption you forget the
courtesies by which you won each other, you
are likely to wreck your marriage.
Clovis G. Cappell

. A Mans Need for Appreciation

Women need love, but a man needs

admiration & approval to meet his most
basic needs.

If you want a man to keep loving you

appreciate him,& let him know you do. R
Peale.
Admire his: Physique, masculine qualities
Skills in sport, strength, clothing.

Admire his Mental Qualities

His achievements, skills, abilities, courage &
devotion to his work.Not many women thank
men for financial support.
Appreciate his talentsmechanical, cook,
reader etc. Remember special days. Being a
great hubby, & father.
Learn to accept gifts do not return or exchange it for something else. Unless it
doesnt fit.

If you dont like it, use it for a time & put it away.
Appreciate the the giver, not the gift.

Spiritual Qualities his standards & aspirations,

noble deeds & sense of honor and duty.
A Womans need for Appreciation
Admire her! Homemaking skills, well-cared
children, attractiveness, a few kind words
can make her day!

When She is not Appreciated

Deliberately provoke attentiontearful

tantrums, staged scenes-desperate

attempts for attention. Why? She cannot
cope with situations that provide no rewards. They
develop headaches, dizziness,
backaches, fatigue. Husbands can save
a fortune in medical bills by whispering a few
well-timed words of love and appreciation,
Along with a small gift.

U R modeling for your kids. The

way you treat their mother,
They will treat their wives!
and it is a boost to her morale,
especially when she passes 40!
How To Be More Appreciative
a. Study your mate-his likes & dislikes, his

strengths and weaknesses, his moods and

mannerisms. R Peale-(meet needs, &
observe warning signals.)

b. Look At your Mateobserve, show a

willingness to participate at lease
occasionally in activities he/she enjoys
pretend! It may become real!
c. Listen to your Mate: be a sounding
board to test ideas, hopes, dreams etc.
Every one loves a good listener.
How to Express Appreciation
a. Express it verbally-helps love grow.

Express appreciation for curtsey, hairdo,

figure etc.

b. Avoid Flattery-insincere, selfish, &

disliked.
c. Praise DailyDevelop the reputation
for being appreciative.
The Effects of Appreciation
a. Changes behavior-(wind & the sun.)
Pos. reinforcement.

Eg. Robert Browning & Elizabeth Barrett

How do I love Thee?
b. It reinforces a pos. self image-strong
arms etc. This makes them confident &
secure.
c. Establishes a sense of self-worth.
In marriage we react positively, negatively
or passivelyheal or hurt, restore or
deplete, help or hinder.Please appreciate!
How do I love thee?

How Do I Love Thee Elizabeth Barrette Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints,--I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!--and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.