Professional Documents
Culture Documents
SCOTT R. WOOLLEY
Marital and Family Therapy Graduate Programs, California School of Professional
Psychology, Alliant International University, San Diego, California, USA
368
divorce. They may choose divorce over attempts to repair their relationship,
believing it to be better for all involved in spite of evidence showing that,
for most families, that is not the case (Cherlin, Chase-Lansdale, & McRae,
1998; McLanahan & Sandefur, 1994).
Marriage and family therapists can play an important role in improving
the marital health of both their clients and the public by directly confronting
myths about marriage and divorce. A couple who enters a marriage expecting
that romantic love and good luck will be the primary determinants of whether
the marriage survives may feel that the marriage is doomed as romance fades.
An equally ill-informed therapist, believing the same myth, may focus therapy
on attempts to restore romantic love, a short-term fix at best. Well-informed
couples and their therapists, on the other hand, understand that the quality
of the couples friendship is a much stronger determinant of marital longevity
and happiness, and focus their efforts in that direction (Gottman, 1999).
The arrival of the first child usually decreases marital satisfaction for both
partners, as they struggle with increased stress and responsibility and have
369
Marital Myths
less time to spend on the marital relationship (Cowan & Cowan, 1995;
Heaton, 1990; Waite & Lillard, 1991; Shapiro, Gottman, & Carrere, 2000).
The literature has been clear on this point for some time; Larson (1988) cites
six separate studies from the 1970s debunking this myth.
MEN
WAITE
&
GALLAGHER,
2001;
2000)
Early reports that marriage benefits men much more than it does women
(e.g., Bernard, 1972) led to a small feminist backlash against the institution of
marriage itself, with some authors calling on women to avoid it altogether (for
a more thorough review of feminist perspectives on marriage, see Rampage,
2002). Recent research, however, has shown that men and women both
benefit substantially from marriage, with benefits to men being largely health
related and benefits to women being largely economic (Waite & Gallagher,
2000), though both sexes receive some of the benefits usually attributed to
the other. In short, Both men and women live longer, happier, healthier
and wealthier lives when they are married (Popenoe, 2002, paragraph 1).
COLLEGE-EDUCATED WOMEN ARE
EDUCATION (POPENOE, 2002)
Decades ago, women were less likely to marry if they were college educated. But the education trend has since reversed, with college-educated
women now being more likely to marry than their less educated counterparts
(Goldstein & Kenney, 2001).
SINGLE
PEOPLE HAVE MORE SEX AND CONSIDER THEIR SEX LIVES MORE SATISFYING
(POPENOE, 2002)
While single people may brag about their sexual experiences more often than
their married counterparts, married people actually have sex more often and
find the sex more physically and emotionally satisfying (Laumann, Gagnon,
Michael, & Michaels, 1994; Waite & Joyner, 2001). For the purposes of this
study, this myth was split into two separate myths, Single people have more
sex than married people and Single people consider their sex lives more
satisfying than married people consider theirs to be. This split left a total of
21 myths to be included in this study.
THE
HIGH DIVORCE RATE WEEDS OUT UNHAPPY MARRIAGES, LEAVING THE AVERAGE
20
YEARS AGO
(POPENOE, 2002)
The average marriage is no happier than it was 20 years ago. In fact, couples
today experience more marital conflict and less interaction as a couple than
370
their counterparts in the 1970s and 1980s (Amato, Johnson, Booth, & Rogers,
2003; Rogers & Amato, 1997, 2000).
(LARSON,
This myth appears to be so widespread, and has so strongly been contradicted by empirical research, that it appears in three of the four reviews of
marital myths utilized in this study. Couples who cohabitate prior to marriage divorce more often than those who do not (DeMaris & Rao, 1992;
Kamp Dush, Cohan, & Amato, 2003). It is presently unclear the degree to
which cohabitation in and of itself is the problem, and the degree to which
a selection effect occurs, wherein those who choose to cohabitate prior to
marriage have a differing set of values around marriage than those who do
not. A review of cohabitation literature by Popenoe and Whitehead (2002)
found support for both and noted that, while some studies have been unclear
on the degree to which cohabitation affects divorce rates, no study has ever
demonstrated cohabitation reducing chances of divorce. Stanley, Rhoades,
and Markman (2006) also found support for both arguments, and proposed
an explanation for how the risk of divorce and dissatisfaction may be raised
by the cohabitation experience itself, beyond simple selection effects. They
argued that the inertia of cohabitation (p. 499) may lead some cohabitating
couples to marry when they otherwise would not have deemed themselves
ready to do so.
THE
Both Popenoe (2001) and Waite and Gallagher (2000) include discussion on
what happens in a marriage when the marriage becomes unhappy. The
myth as Popenoe puts it is that Being very unhappy at certain points in
a marriage is a good sign that the marriage will eventually end in divorce
(paragraph 9) and backs up his conclusion this is a myth with research
on marital conflict. Amato and Booth (1997) found that less than a third
of divorcing parents had marriages that could be considered high-conflict.
A mere 30 percent of divorcing spouses reported three or more serious
arguments in the past month, and less than one in four said they and their
spouses disagreed often or very often. Other studies have shown a variety
of marital problems that are predictive of divorce, with conflict per se not on
the list. For example, in a study by Amato and Rogers (1997), infidelity, drug
use, and spending money foolishly were most strongly predictive of divorce.
The presence of conflict in a relationship is relatively weak in predicting
divorce; examining how couples resolve conflict produces much stronger
predictors (Gottman, Coan, Carrere, & Swanson, 1998).
371
Marital Myths
DIVORCE
(POPENOE, 2001)
Women initiate about two-thirds of divorces (Brinig & Allen, 2000; Mather,
2003). Possible reasons for this include womens tendency to monitor their
marriages more closely than men (Epstein & Baucom, 2002), child-custody
laws that in some states favor women, and the likelihood that men will be
involved in problematic behaviors such as drinking (Brinig & Allen, 2000).
CHILDREN
(POPENOE, 2001)
IF
(POPENOE, 2001)
Children from families who experienced divorce consistently report more
negative attitudes toward marriage than their peers, regardless of what attitudes toward marriage the parents attempt to communicate to their children
(Gibardi & Rosen, 1992; Inman-Amos, Hendrick, & Hendrick, 1994; Jennings,
Salts, & Smith, 1991; McDonald, 2001).
HUSBANDS
(LARSON, 1988)
Early studies appeared to show that marital satisfaction decreased for both
partners when the wife was employed outside of the home (Axelson, 1963;
Hoffman & Nye, 1974). Given the realities of differing gender role expectations and the transitions occurring for women in general at the time of
these studies, they may have been accurate reflections of married life in that
era. However, research from the mid-1970s onward fails to find a consistent or significant difference in marital satisfaction for either partner based
on the employment status of the wife (Larson, 1988). Schoen, Rogers, and
372
Amato (2006, p. 525) found no significant relationship between wives employment level and husbands marital satisfaction, concluding instead that
[W]ives employment makes marriages more stable but not any happier (or
unhappier).
WIVES
(LARSON, 1988)
Again, since the 1970s research has found no consistent and significant difference in marital satisfaction for either partner based on the employment
status of the wife (Larson, 1988; Schoen, Rogers, & Amato, 2006). Some
studies suggest that wives employment may actually raise their marital satisfaction (e.g., Rogers & De Boer, 2001), though such a link remains only
weakly supported (for a review, see Schoen, Rogers, & Amato, 2006).
HUSBANDS MAKE
(LARSON, 1988)
Men tend to be less involved in their marriages than women and are less
affected by the different stages of the family life cycle (Larson, 1988, p. 9).
Most studies find that women make more adjustments in marriage than men
do, and that women find marriage more stressful than men (Bell, Daly,
& Gonzales, 1987; Chickering & Havighurst, 1981; Glenn, 1975). Women
typically accept influence from their husbands, while many men are not so
accommodating with their wives (Gottman, 1999).
THE
MORE SOMEONE GIVES THEIR SPOUSE INFORMATION, POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE, THE
(LARSON, 1988)
IT DID
Longer life expectancies are primarily a product of reduced infant and child
mortality. With that factored out, what little increase in life expectancy over
the past 50 years remains is largely negated by the later age at which people
are marrying in the United States (Glenn, 1997). Government data supports
373
Marital Myths
this conclusion. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC; 2002) reports that
life expectancy at birth continues to rapidly increase, adding 9 years since
1950. Life expectancy at age 20, however, is increasing much more slowly,
adding roughly 6.5 years in the same time period. The average age at first
marriage in the United States is increasing at a similar rate, adding 5 years for
women and 4 years for men since 1950 (Center for Family and Demographic
Research, 2002). Together, these statistics mean that a marriage until death
do us part is not getting substantially longer.
FOLLOWING
(POPENOE, 2001)
Popenoe noted that specific figures on mens and womens changes in standard of living following a divorce had persisted in the literature in spite of
their having been widely discredited. Divorce increases a mans economic
standard of living, while lowering it for his ex-wife, though neither change
is as dramatic as the numbers Popenoe noted as having gained notoriety.
This gender gap has been steady in recent years (Peterson, 1996).
(WAITE &
374
THE
(LARSON, 1988;
POPENOE, 2002)
Larsons (1988) review of literature concluded most couples do not identify
romantic love as the kind of love that helps maintain marital satisfaction over
the life span (p. 10). More recently, Gottman (1999) found that a couples
perception of the quality of their friendship is most predictive of their longterm marital success.
CHILDREN
ARE BETTER OFF WITH DIVORCED PARENTS THAN WITH PARENTS WHO ARE
UNHAPPILY MARRIED
The effects of parental divorce in and of itself are pervasive and long-lasting
for many children (Cherlin, Chase-Lansdale, & McRae, 1998; McLanahan
& Sandefur, 1994). Married parentseven unhappily married parentscan
provide children with benefits divorced parents cannot, including greater
economic standing, stronger family bonds, stronger connections with the
community, more available time for parent-child interaction, and better overall emotional health (Waite & Gallagher, 2000).
THE
(LARSON, 1988)
Marital Myths
375
EDUCATION
MFTs are specifically trained in marriage and divorce issues. As part of this
training, it is expected that MFT programs would expose students to current
research in marriage and divorce. Such education could effectively counter
any erroneous beliefs fostered through personal experience or demographic
factors.
HYPOTHESES
1. Marriage and family therapists endorsement of myths about marriage will
be related to personal experience and demographic factors.
2. Marriage and family therapists endorsement of myths about marriage will
be significantly related to professional factors including degree level and
the amount of training they have had in current research findings on
marriage and divorce.
METHOD
Characteristics of the Sample Group
Based on the results of a computerized power analysis (Erdfelder, Faul, &
Buchner, 1996), 710 surveys were mailed to a randomly selected sample of
California clinical members of the American Association for Marriage and
Family Therapy (AAMFT). This group was chosen because of its similarity
to the AAMFT nationally (Northey, 2002) and the likelihood that members
would be actively engaged in the practice of couples therapy. A total of 223
usable responses were received (31.4%).
Selected demographic and professional characteristics are presented in
Table 1. The demographic profile that emerged of the sample group was
largely similar to the California Division of AAMFT (Northey, personal communication, June 7, 2004), and the California Association of Marriage and
Family Therapists (CAMFT; Riemersma, 2004), and AAMFT nationally (Doherty & Simmons, 1996; Northey, 2002). Even where demographic similarities
exist, however, there may be other differences between California MFTs and
MFTs in the rest of the country, due to regional differences in attitudes
(Trent & South, 1992) and differences in state requirements for education
and licensing.
Measures
Participants completed a questionnaire on demographic, professional, and
family of origin variables; a survey of common myths about marriage; and a
brief measure of social desirability responses (Reynolds, 1982).
376
Present study
n
Age
223
M = 53.6
SD = 9.9
74% female
26% male
87% Caucasian
5% Multiple/Mixed
Gender
Ethnicity
2% Asian
2% Other
1% Hispanic
<1% African-American
<1% Native American
Marital status
67% married
19% divorced
7% never been married
5% widowed
1% separated
Experience
M = 17.1 years, SD = 8.5
Highest degree 78% masters
22% doctorate
Primary
28% systems/family
theoretical
systemsa
orientation
27% cognitive behavioral
19% eclectic
15% object
relations/psychodynamic
9% humanistic/existential
6% Bowen
6% postmodern
3% emotion-/attachmentfocused
<3% (several)
Religious
22% Christian
affiliation
16% No formal affiliation
13% Catholic
12% Jewish
7% Protestant
<5% (several)
a Participants
AAMFT nationally
(Northey, 2002)
CAMFT (Riemersma,
2004
292
M = 53
SD = 8.6
58% female
42% male
95% Caucasian
2% Native
American/Alaskan
2% Other
1% Hispanic
1% Asian
900
M = 54.6
SD not given
80% female
20% male
93% Caucasian
2% Latino
1% African-American
1% Multiracial
1% Asian/Pacific
Islander
1% African-American
Not given
Not given
M = 16.4, SD = 7.3
74% masters
25% doctorate
27% cognitive
behavioral
Not given
84% masters
16% doctorate
Not given
11% multisystemic
8% eclectic
7% solution focused
4% behavioral
3% Bowen
3% psychodynamic
<3% (several)
Not given
Not given
DEMOGRAPHIC
QUESTIONNAIRE
Marital Myths
377
MYTHS SURVEY
DESIRABILITY SCALE
378
RESULTS
Marital Myths Survey
Participants responses on individual items are summarized in Table 2. Practicing MFTs provided correct responses to an average of 12.50 of the 25
items on the myths questionnaire (n = 208; SD = 2.75). Excluding the four
common knowledge items, the average MFT provided correct responses
to an average of 9.4 out of 21 myths. The average MFT incorrectly endorsed 7.38 untrue statements about marriage (SD = 2.52), or 7.00 (SD =
2.41) when excluding the common knowledge items. Remaining responses
were Unsure/dont know. Unlike in Larsons (1988) study, respondents in
the present study were offered an Unsure/Dont know option and were
presented statements with which to Agree or Disagree. Larson presented
statements in the form of true/false questions. Even if every Unsure/Dont
know response in this study was counted as a correct answer, the present
group would still perform much worse than Larsons group on almost every myth appearing in both studies. This may indicate that the family life
educators Larson studied focused more on research as part of their training.
Table 2 also notes the subgroups, defined by professional, demographic,
and educational variables, who performed significantly better or worse on
specific myths than their counterparts. For example, more experienced therapists were more likely to correctly identify the statement Having children
usually brings a married couple closer together as a myth. Therapists who
identified their primary theoretical orientation as cognitive-behavioral were
more likely than therapists of other orientations to incorrectly endorse the
myth that The majority of couples who divorce are high-conflict couples.
To guard against spurious correlations, given the high number of variables
being assessed, only correlations significant at p < .01 were included. (Ethnicity and sexuality were not included as factors on this table, because the
low numbers of non-Caucasian and non-heterosexual participants prevented
meaningful interpretation of group differences.)
DISCUSSION
Evaluation of Hypotheses
The first hypothesis was supported. For many myths, endorsement of the
myth was significantly correlated with particular personal experiences and
demographic factors, including marital status, years of experience, religiosity,
age, income, children, and even theoretical orientation. Table 2 highlights
379
Marital Myths
TABLE 2 Item Responses on Knowledge Questionnaire
Statement
Couples who marry under the age
of 18 are more likely to
eventually divorce than those
who marry later.d
The divorce rate in America
increased from 1960 to 1990.d
About half of the couples getting
married this year will eventually
divorce.d
Most young, single, never-married
people will eventually marry.d
Having children usually brings a
married couple closer.
Men reap far greater benefits from
marriage than women.
College-educated women are less
likely to marry than women with
less education.
Married people have more sex
than single people.
Married people consider their sex
lives more satisfying than single
people consider theirs to be.
The high divorce rate weeds out
unhappy marriages, leaving the
average marriage happier than
20 years ago.
Cohabitation before marriage
increases the chance of divorce.
% correct
in Larson,
%
1988
correct (n = 50)b
Subgroups more
likely (+) or less
likely () to answer
correctlyc at p < .01
True/
Falsea
221
81
100
None
220
84
98
None
220
80
N/A
None
220
64
92
217
69
90
219
34
N/A
220
N/A
More experienced
therapists (+)
Men (+), Bowen
therapists ()
None
219
32
N/A
None
220
42
N/A
Married participants
(+)
221
57
N/A
None
220
36
100
220
60
N/A
218
30
N/A
220
56
N/A
221
27
N/A
220
46
60
None
220
70
92
None
380
Statement
The more someone gives their
spouse information, positive
and negative, the greater the
marital satisfaction of both
partners.
Following a divorce, the
economic standard of living
drops roughly the same
amount for both partners.
Until death do us part means
significantly more time today
than it did 50 years ago, due
to higher life expectancies.
Husbands make more life style
adjustments in marriage than
wives.
Single women are at greater
risk for violence than
married women.
The factors most often cited
by long-married couples as
reasons for their successful
marriages are romantic love
and good luck.
Children are better off with
divorced parents than with
parents who are unhappily
married.
The quality of a married
couples sex life is the single
best statistical predictor of
overall marital satisfaction.
a Respondents
% correct
in Larson,
%
1988
correct (n = 50)b
Subgroups more
likely (+) or less
likely () to answer
correctlyc at p < .01
True/
Falsea
221
23
58
None
221
88
N/A
None
221
24
N/A
Buddhists (+)
220
77
100
None
221
N/A
220
77
86
220
11
N/A
221
73
90
could either mark agree, disagree or unsure/dont know in response to each item.
A correct response would be to agree with a true item or disagree with a false one. In Larson (1988),
respondents were offered only true and false responses, which, due to respondent guessing, may
have inflated the percentage of correct answers in that study compared to the current one.
b Larsons 50 professionals were 28 male and 22 female members of the Education and Enrichment
Section of the National Council on Family Relations. It is reasonable to assume this group would be
more up-to-date on marital research than the average MFT. Also, statements presented in the current
study, while comparable to those used in Larson (1988), are not identical. Statements are shown as they
were presented in the current study. c Because Pearson coefficients do not account for the high number
of variables assessed here, only those relationships significant at p < .01 (two-tailed) were considered
significant so as to minimize the possibility of Type I error. In the case of dichotomous groups (e.g.
gender) only the group more likely to answer correctly is shown. Ethnicity and sexuality were excluded
as factors in this list, because the small numbers in all groups other than Caucasian and heterosexual
preclude meaningful interpretation. d Common knowledge item.
Marital Myths
381
Limitations
The focus on MFTs in this study limits the degree to which results can be
generalized to therapists in other related disciplines, such as Psychology.
Even among MFTs, there is limited information available to determine the
representativeness of this sample; clinical members of AAMFT based in California may be similar to MFTs across the country on known demographic
characteristics (Northey, 2002), but this does not necessarily mean they are
also similar in knowledge. Within California, clinical members of AAMFT
represent only a minority of licensed MFTs, and it is not known how nonmembers of AAMFT might have fared on the same survey.
A limitation of this study may come from the low internal consistency
of the myths questionnaire. However, Little, Lindenberger, and Nesselroade
(1999) caution against the temptation to throw out results in their entirety
based on this single measure. They argue that while a low alpha should
trigger a close examination of individual item responses, it is not sufficient
information to conclude that either an overall score or the construct it presumes has no utility. The marital myths examined here are largely not interdependent. However, in the interest of presenting results conservatively,
the focus in reporting of this study is directed more toward individual items
than overall scores on the myths questionnaire.
382
Marital Myths
383
said they only had one such class. As age did not appear to make a substantive difference in overall knowledge about marriage, it does not appear that
more recent graduation leads to more accurate knowledge. Surely, though,
where myths about marriage persist among MFTs, the graduate training process provides the best opportunity to correct them. Course content focused
specifically on research around marriage and other family life factors may
need to be increased in MFT training programs.
Some may argue that the research findings discussed in the myths questionnaire are normative, reflective of general trends among married and
divorced families, and these are not as important for therapists to be trained
in as methods for working with each unique couple. However, training
programs frequently emphasize the importance of normative knowledge in
providing a framework for therapy. Cross-cultural education in particular is
based on the notion that the culturally competent mental health professional must possess specific knowledge and information about the particular
group with which he or she is working (Sue & Sue, 2003, p. 21). Without
normative knowledge on marriage and divorce, knowledge in other areas
such as treatment planning, research methodology, family development, and
theory, lacks an important foundational element that would seem essential
to the effective practice of marital therapy.
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