Running Head: IDENTITY PAPER HD 412

Identity Paper
HD 412
Maura Maldonado
Pacific Oaks College

IDENTITY PAPER HD 412

Identity Paper HD 412

After migrating from Mexico my maternal grandparents settled in La Verne, California.
They were one of the first Latino families in La Verne in the early 1900s. My paternal
grandfather also migrated from Mexico when he was a young boy. His mother was from Mexico
but his father, my great grandfather was originally from Italy. As he traveled through Mexico he
met and married my great grandmother and migrated to California and settled in Pomona. My
paternal grandmother was from Arizona, she was Mexican and Apache Indian. My grandmother
met and married my grandfather and settled in my grandfathers family home in Pomona. My
parents were first generation born here in the United States. They met at Mount San Antonio
College in Walnut, California. They married and experienced a lot of life together before starting
their family in May of 1954. They had a son Mark David who passed away from leukemia at the
age of four. One year later on July 3, 1959 I was born.
I was named Maura Angela after both of my grandmothers. My parents explained to me
when I was about five years old that they named me after the two most precious and perfect
women they knew, not to live up to their names but because I was precious and perfect the day I
was born. I remember smiling and feeling warm inside. I know this statement was important to
my self- esteem and the formation of my identity. I grew up in a home where my father worked
and my mother stayed at home with me. From a very young age I can remember people always
around. My extended family was always over or we were always visiting, even though I enjoyed
being surrounded by family and conversation I always sought out quiet and places where I
could be alone. I remember some people asking my mom what was wrong with me. My mom
told them nothing was wrong with me. She told them, thats just her. My mother taught me
how to make a fort with a blanket and a couple of chairs. This served as my private place as well

IDENTITY PAPER HD 412

as a great place to play. As I grew I chose hobbies that I could do alone like reading, crossstitching, and painting. I enjoyed this time with me. And although less frequent, I still covet
these moments.
My parents loved cooking and there was always the aroma of Mexican or Italian dishes
coming from our kitchen. Meal time was special family time whether it was just the three of us,
then the five of us after my sisters were born or the whole familia. There was reflection,
laughter, and good food.
Growing up I was always surrounded by noise. Music was always playing, cultural as well as
contemporary my mother sang all the time. She sang in college and continued to sing all around
the house and with the church choir well after I grew up. My parents were fluent in Spanish and
conversed with each other in Spanish. When my fathers family came over there was a mixture
of Spanish and Italian. My family would speak to me in Spanish or Italian but I would answer in
English. Family would ask why I didnt speak Spanish? My dad would tell them that I was
more comfortable with English. My family didnt understand who I was. I was a mixture of
Mexican and Italian and a little bit of Apache Indian with a very traditional family but my
parents allowed me to be me and I spoke English. As an adult I identify with the Latino side of
my family. My understanding of Spanish is fluent and I understand some Italian. My
conversation in either language is regrettably poor.
As I grew and entered my junior high and high school years I faced the realization that my
identity would be affected with each life experience I had. I was comfortable with my heritage
but I based my identity on tradition and customs not on my physical appearance until I was
thirteen years old. It was the middle of my freshman year of high school and I was beginning a

IDENTITY PAPER HD 412

new school. As I ran out onto the field for physical education I overheard two blond
cheerleaders comment that I was pretty and wore cute clothes. They said that I didnt look
Mexican I must be mixed with something else. This was my first experience of being judged by
what I looked like. I was puzzled and felt awkward. My mother explained to me that I didnt fit
the cheerleaders stereo type of what a Mexican girl looked like. With my mothers help I
realized that in addition to what I thought about myself there will always be people who judge
me. Their judgement doesnt become me unless I allow it.
During high school my love for art developed into the first thing in my life I was passionate
about. As this passion grew, my view of my surroundings changed. I found beauty and calmness
all around me. Water colors and acrylic paint became a way to express what was inside of me.
For the first time I was able to express in a concrete way parts of my identity. When I was
eighteen years old I entered my first art exhibit held at the West Covina Mall. I entered three
paintings and received one blue ribbon and two honorable mentions. I shared a part of me
with a lot of strangers and they liked me! It was a good feeling.
After I graduated high school I enrolled at Mt. Sac in Walnut, California. My goal was to take
all my general education classes and begin a major in art. I remember talking to my dad about
my plans. For the first time my dad listened to me and then told me that he would like me to
reconsider my major. I cringed, a great part of my identity was formed through the freedom of
choice that my parents allowed my sisters and I to have. I always trusted my parents and the
guidance they gave me so I held my tongue and listened as he gave his opinion. My dad said
that both he and my mother recognized my talent and love for the arts. His concern was that
making a living as an artist would not be easy. They suggested I find a career that could support
me as well as give me security. My father was a junior high principal for years. He suggested

IDENTITY PAPER HD 412

that maybe I consider teaching, maybe teach art. I knew I did not want to teach in a classroom
but I did like working with young children. I decided to take an art class but I also enrolled in a
child development class. My second semester at Mt. Sac I enrolled in more child development
classes and I loved what I was learning. I told my father that I didnt want to be a grade school
teacher but I was considering a major in Child Development. My dad smiled and said it takes a
creative and special type of person to work with young children and that I may not see me yet,
but he could. Soon after, I thanked my dad. In the process of exploring my options I found the
second passion of my life. I taught preschoolers for thirty-five years, twenty-eight of those years
at Citrus College Child Development Center and I loved every minute.
Many life experiences effected me during my adult life, yet there are only a few that
changed my identity. Being a daughter was one of the most important and favorite parts of being
me. My father passed away in 1992 and my mother passed in 1999. Through my faith and the
strength that it gives me I was able to endure this great loss in my life. Even today there is still a
part of me that feels lost. Becoming a wife at forty and a mother at forty-four made me aware
of the unconditional and unlimited amount of love I have inside of me. Losing my job after
twenty- eight years because the center closed down, and ultimately losing our home of fifteen
years reminded me of the strength, resilience, and the ability to recreate myself by finishing
school, was all in me, part of my identity.
As I reflect on these memories I realize that tradition makes up an important part of my
identity. I feel comfort and pride in carrying on my family heritage through tradition. It is also
important for me to remember that creating my own culture with my husband and son
contributes greatly to who I am today.

IDENTITY PAPER HD 412