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8

February 17, 2005

Boulder Weekly

Colorado
soldiers
Andrew Pogany
and Bill Howell
were devastated by
Operation Iraqi
Freedom. What
caused the
damage?

ost of the
conversation
Staff Sgt.
GeorgAndreas

Pogany and Chief Warrant Officer William


Howell had before they deployed to Iraq is
classified. The two soldiers sat down in midSeptember 2003 at Fort Carson in Colorado

English, Andrew had a knack for remembering


details. He had a sharp wit and a deliberate way of
talking that demonstrated his acumen. In conversation, he would look straight at those with whom he
was speaking, as if he were reading them.
A naturalized citizen, Andrew grew up in
Germany and came to the United States as an
exchange student at the University of South Florida,
earning his associates degree in criminal justice and
law enforcement and his bachelors in criminology.
In the meantime, while working in a Florida bar, he
met a woman named Michelle. He married her 10
months later.
After college, Andrew, then 26, joined the Army
full time. It was a natural choice for someone who
wanted a leg up in the intel community. He would
learn the intelligence trade and travel all over the
world. The Army trained Andrew as an interrogator
and, after

Springs to discuss their upcoming mission,


which was to take them to one of the most

dangerous regions in Iraq with some of


the United States most elite soldiers.

Deployment

February 17, 2005

ndrew Pogany, whose cropped hair and


boyish face made him look younger than
his age, always knew he wanted a career in
law enforcement or intelligence. He was a natural
for the work. Fluent in German, Hungarian and

stints
in Texas and
Arizona, assigned him in 2001 to the 10th Special
Forces Group out of Fort Carson.
While not a Green Beret himself, Andrew
thrived with the Special Forces. He loved his job,
signing off his e-mails with the Special Forces
motto, De oppresso liber, which means Liberator
of the oppressed. He received a superior rating on
his military review and was recommended for immediate promotion. His future promising, he bought a
house outside of Colorado Springs with enough
room for himself, Michelle and their three dogs.
Operation Iraqi Freedom began in March 2003
with the bombing of Baghdad. By that summer,
many soldiers at Fort Carson had been deployed to
Iraq. Andrew, a support soldier, stayed behind. In
September, just after he returned from a basic noncommissioned officers course, Andrew got the call.
Two soldiers slotted to deploy to Iraq with a Special
Forces A-team had either been pulled off the mission or had found a way to avoid going. Andrew
had been chosen to fill one of the vacancies.
Andrew was being asked to serve in one of the
most highly trained elements of the U.S. Army.
Since Sept. 11, 2001, Special Forces had been an
integral part of the United States War on Terrorism.
Trained in unconventional warfare, such as guerilla
operations, reconnaissance and anti-terrorism, 12man Special Forces units called A-teams had been

Howdy Doody. Thats what some


acquaintances jokingly called William
Howell, thanks to his clean-cut appearance and tendency to blush. He was
better looking than that, however, and
he was too smart to let anyone jerk
him around like a puppet.
Bill was a career soldier. Hed
joined the Army in 1986, right after
graduating high school in Texas. The
idea of college bored Bill, while the
Army offered him seemingly limitless
options. He appreciated the militarys
discipline and control, the absolute certainty that if he completed certain tasks,
he would achieve a new rank.
After seven years in the Army, Bill began
to feel stifled. It seemed like he had to dumb
himself down to fit in. So he joined the Special
Forces. Here, in this close-knit, highly trained community, demands were both physical and cerebral.
As part of the 10th Special Forces Group, Bill
worked as a sniper, traveling to hot zones including
Haiti, Kosovo and Bosnia.
Bills first marriage didnt work out. He met a
more suitable match in 1998 at a cold-weather
training at Copper Mountain. She was a civilian
named Laura, who was on a ski trip with her
friends. Laura was bright, witty and cutejust like
Bill. They met the night before Laura was to fly
back to Michigan. Bill didnt get her last name or
phone number, but Laura told her friends the next
day that she knew she was going to marry him. She
was right.
In 2001, after dating long distance for three
years, Laura and her son from a previous marriage
moved in with Bill in Colorado Springs. Soon
after, Bill and Laura got married. The two were a
good match: They got along easily, but Laura wasnt about to make Bill lord of the manor just
because he was a Green Beret. He could go skeet
shooting, ride his Harley and practice his gunsmith
skills in the basement, but he also had to help out
around the house. This included looking after their
first child together, a girl, born in 2002.
When Bill learned he would be deployed to Iraq
in February 2003, he was thrilled. Hed been devastated when he did not serve in the Persian Gulf War.
Now, after training for 13 years, he would have his
chance to go to the Middle East.
Bill spent four months in Iraq in spring 2003.

Boulder Weekly

Georg-Andreas, better known as


Andrew, was a support soldier attached
to the 10th Special Forces Group
based in Fort Carson. He had just
learned that hed been picked to fill a
vacancy on a 12-man Special Forces
Operational Detachment Alpha, or Ateam, that was to leave for Iraq in less
than two weeks. The rest of the team
had been training and learning to work
together for ages. Andrew, 32, hardly
knew them.
William, who went by Bill, was the second in command on the A-team. At 36, he had
been in the Special Forces for a decade, having
worked in Haiti, Kosovo and Bosnia. This was to be
Bills second deployment to Iraq.
Andrew and Bill remained professional throughout their conversation; they knew each other only
through brief interactions at Fort Carson. At one
point, Bill mentioned his family. He was excited
about his newborn daughter, just days old. Andrew
and the rest of the A-team would arrive in Iraq
before Bill, so that Bill could spend a few more days
with his wife, Laura, and their children. The conversation likely caused Andrew to think about his own
wife, Michelle, and their dogs, Amelia, CC and
Tippy.
Bill asked Andrew if he was ready to go to Iraq.
Andrew said he was.
Youll have a good time down there, said Bill,
or something along those lines. Well roll our
sleeves up, and well do our work, and before we
know it, well all be home.
Bill and Andrew would never see each other
again. Bill was only half-right in his prediction: One
of them would return home faster than anyone
could have imagined. The other, arguably, never
truly returned home at all.

among the first forces to deploy in Afghanistan and


Iraq. A-team members were carefully selected and
extensively trained for their missions prior to
deployment. Andrew was not a Special Forces operator, and he missed the pre-mission training for his
A-team.
During wartime, A-teams often operate in areas
of intense combat. In Andrews case, he would be
deployed to Samarra, a city north of Baghdad in the
Sunni Triangle, a region in central Iraq known for
heavy insurgency attacks.
Andrew did not question his assignment. He
had trained for deployment for years. There was no
other option.
The A-team was scheduled to leave for Iraq on
Tuesday, Sept. 23. Andrew had two weeks to get
ready. He secretly resumed his smoking habit. If he
had concerns, he didnt voice them to Michelle.
They both knew there were endless possibilities as to
what could happen in Iraq, but they tried not to
think about it.

Staff Sgt.
Andrew Pogany

When he returned in May, he didnt talk to Laura


about what happened there; that was normal. But he
was tiring of the Special Forces life, sick of being away
from home six to nine months a year. After 17 years in
the Army, his body was wearing outhis back was
tired, his knees were tired. He was ready to let go of
the machismo that comes with being part of a Special
Forces A-team.
The summer of 2003 was the longest period of
time Bill had ever spent at home, and it made him
happy. Laura had just moved the family to a comfortable home in Monument. She was pregnant with their
second child. For the first time in his military career,
Bill made his family a higher priority than his profession.
When Bills second rotation to Iraq came up in
September 2003, he found he didnt want to go.
Deployment would mean another Christmas spent in
the field, another missed birthday, another hockey season gone. His second daughter had just been born, and
he had just weeks to be with her before he had to leave.
Bill had known he would be sent back to Iraq. He
just didnt know it would be so soon.

Complications

10

February 17, 2005

Boulder Weekly

O
O

n the night of his


first full day of war,

Andrews bedroom
exploded around him. He
wasnt sure if it was real
or a hallucination.

raq was dirty. Thats what struck Andrew.


Dirty and smelly, sand and garbage everywhere.
Andrew arrived in Iraq with the A-team on
Saturday, Sept. 27, 2003. Once in country, everything
seemed to move quickly. After arriving at a large U.S.
military facility, Andrew and the other soldiers
unloaded their gear, pre-loaded their convoy of trucks
and ran through pre-combat checks and pre-combat
inspections, verifying that all personnel, equipment and
vehicles were ready for the mission. Despite the activity, Andrew didnt sleep that night.
The next morning, Andrew drove one of the Land
Rovers in the convoy as they traveled through the
Sunni Triangle to Samarra. He and the support soldier
sitting next to him held loaded M4 rifles on their laps,
nozzles out the window. Andrew silently scanned the
area for signs of possible attacks or improvised explosive devices on the road.
Halfway to Samarra, the 5-ton cargo truck ahead
of Andrew stopped abruptly. Guys jumped out. The
trucks front wheelnot just a tire, the whole wheel
had fallen off. The convoy was going to have to wait
for a tow truck and a replacement cargo truck. They
were close to where another convoy had recently been
ambushed.
Andrew set up a security point at the front of the
convoy. He trained his gun on every car that drove by.
Even with a 50-caliber machine gun covering him,
Andrew felt vulnerable. He watched donkeys go by, the
shacks and huts along the road, the guy with a camel
sitting nearby, selling watermelons. He noticed all the
Mercedes and Rolls Royces, as if Europe had donated
its old luxury cars to Iraq. One BMW had a German
license plate.
Andrew spoke to one of the Green Berets who had
been in the country for a couple of weeks.
This is Indian country down here, the soldier
told Andrew. Youll be lucky to make it out alive.
It took five hours for the tow truck and replacement truck to arrive. When the convoy rolled out, it
was getting dark. Now all Andrew could see was where
his headlights shone in front of him. The soldier next
to him started mumbling.
Do you like green eggs and ham? I do! I like
them, Sam-I-am!
It was like Rain Man. In a house. With a mouse.
In a box. With a fox. Andrew finally got a cigarette in
the guys mouth and shut him up.
The convoy arrived at Samarra at about 9 p.m.
Andrew was told the compound at which he would be
stationed was under attack almost every night. Mortars

had demolished parts of the buildings, and many windows had been shot out.
The soldiers unloaded the trucks in silence.
Andrew was assigned to a bedroom in a single-story
wing of one of the buildings. During orientation, a soldier told Andrew that the compound had been heavily
mortared a few nights before. He pointed out the
craters in the ground where the mortars had hit. Each
successive mortar had landed a little closer to the building. The last mortar had not exploded. It was embedded in the ground next to Andrews room.
Andrew unloaded his gear in his bedroom. He laid
out his body armor and helmet so that if he needed to,
he could grab them quickly. He took the round out of
the chamber of his M4 and reloaded its magazine. He
took off his sidearm and boots. Finally, he unrolled his
sleeping bag on the bed, laid down and tried to go to
sleep.
An hour and a half later, there was gunfire nearby.
Andrew went outside to smoke and asked a soldier
what was happening. It was most likely a wedding, he
was told. Iraqis like to fire guns in the air during weddings.
Andrew returned to his room and laid down. Close
to midnight, there was more gunfire, then explosions.
He could hear the sounds of trucks coming and going
from the compound. It sounded like all hell was breaking loose.
Andrew got out of bed. A medic ran into the
building and told Andrew that one of their patrols had
been ambushed and a bunch of Iraqis had been shot
up. He said there were prisoners.
Andrew went outside and approached the next
building. Inside there was chaos.
Ambulances and Humvees. Smoke and blood
everywhere. People screaming.
Andrew could smell blood. He stood in the doorway of the building. To his right, he saw a body bag
lying on the ground. Two guys walked over and opened
it.
Inside, Andrew saw the body of an Iraqi.
The Iraqi had been shot by a U.S. Army Bradley
armored fighting vehicle.
The body had caught a 20 mm round in its torso.
The body bag was open for six seconds. But it was
more than Andrew needed to see.
Andrew turned away and walked back outside. He
saw five Iraqi prisoners handcuffed and on the ground.
One had a gaping leg wound; the lower part of his leg
was completely ripped apart.
Andrew noticed a U.S. soldier, maybe 21 or 22,
sitting on a table against a wall. He was pale, shaking.
Other soldiers walked by, pointed and laughed at the
kid. Andrew asked one of them who the kid was. Hes
the driver or gunner of the Bradley, someone said. The
one that shot up the Iraqi.
Some soldiers learn to deal with the violence they
see by laughing at it. Andrew was never one of them.
He started to feel like the shaking kid. But he couldnt
let the others see he wasnt OK. He was Special Forces.
He walked back to his building. On the way,
everything started moving in slow motion. Andrew.
Other soldiers. Everything.
Andrew smoked a cigarette and tried to go to bed.
It didnt work. Thirty minutes later, he ran to the
latrine and threw up. When he returned to his room,
he was trembling. Then came the terror.
After 15 minutes, he tried to collect himself. Its
going to be like this everyday, he thought. This will all
become normal.
But it didnt work. He fell asleep, dreamed horrible
dreams and woke up panicked. The room exploded
around him. The ceiling caved in. The mortar embedded in the ground outside finally detonated. He didnt
know if it was real or a hallucination.
He picked up his M4, put a round in it and put it
on the bed next to him. He put his sidearm back on. If
the door to his room had opened, he would have fired.

Andrews superiors had different plans.


On Andrews sixth day of war, he was told to
report to his commander and sergeant major at 11
a.m. For an hour, the officers berated him.
You are a coward, they said. Were gonna make
sure everyone back home knows what you did. If it
were 50 years ago, wed take you out back and shoot
you in the head.
They told him he was going home.
On Tuesday, Oct. 7, Andrew landed at Peterson
Air Force Base in Colorado Springs. The rest of the soldiers on the plane met their families, but Andrew was
met by armed guards, who searched him and put him
in a Suburban. They drove Andrew to Fort Carson,
where his commander ordered him to the hospital for
an immediate emergency suicide evaluation. Then he
was escorted home to Michelle. Before he was released,
he had to turn over his personal weapon, a 9 mm pistol.
One week later, he was called onto the carpet by
his superiors. They read him the charges: Violating
Article 99 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice
cowardly conduct as a result of fear. The last recorded
conviction of a U.S. soldier for cowardice was in 1968.
It was a crime punishable by death.
Andrew was stripped of his security clearance,
stripped of his job. He sat in a chair at the base all day
or swept the parking lot. He was harassed constantly, a
monkey in a cage. Only half a dozen friends stood by
him.
Two days later, the local paper broke the story. His
answering machine was swamped with calls from the
media. Paula Zahn. Soledad OBrien. What a news
hook: coward. The perfect counterpoint to Private
Jessica Lynch, Americas hero.
Andrew continued to experience panic, anxiety,
confusion, nightmares, depression. He kept the symptoms to himself, hid them even from Michele. He
would hide in his bedroom, his car, anywhere where no
one could see him.
The first thing he tried to do was figure out what
was going on inside of him. He didnt think he was
just going crazy. There had to be something physically
wrong with him.

Chief Warrant Officer


Bill Howell

B
B

ill pointed the .357caliber revolver at

his wifes face. He wanted


her to see him pull the
trigger.

11

Bill returned from Iraq on Tuesday, Feb. 17, 2004.


While hed been stationed in Samarra in December, the
city had been the scene of a bloody confrontation. The
military reported that more than 50 insurgents had
been killed. He didnt talk to Laura about it, nor did
he say much about his team sergeant, whod been killed
in January. He never really said anything about Staff
Sgt. Andrew Pogany. Bill had been deployed later than
the rest of his team; by the time hed arrived in Iraq,
Pogany had been shipped out of the country. All Bill
said to Laura was, OK, Im home.
Bill seemed happy to be back with his family. He
was tired of being away, tired of work, ready to
recharge his batteries. Other than a slight skin rash and
diarrhea, he seemed fine.
On Sunday, March 14, three weeks after hed
returned, Bill and his stepson left home at 7:30 a.m. to
go skeet and trap shooting with Bills father.
The weather was decent that day. Bill and his stepson returned home at 3 p.m. Bill was excited; hed
finally out-shot his father. He unloaded the ammunitions and firearms, cleaned them and put them away in
the basement. When he came upstairs, Laura was
working on the family taxes. Someone needed to make
a run to the grocery store, and Bill offered to go.
He returned home an hour later, agitated.
Youd never guess who I ran into, Bill said to
Laura. There was an edge to his voice.
She knew immediately: Bills ex-wife. The ex had
told him hed never have to worry about seeing his
daughter from his first marriage again. Shed said she

Boulder Weekly February 17, 2005

The next morning, Andrews hands were still shaking. He was dry heaving. He went to see his team sergeant.
It was not an easy decision. He was the odd man
out on the team; they didnt know him. Maybe they
would think hed lost it. But he had to tell somebody.
If they went out on a mission and he was the third or
fourth or fifth guy in line and he lost it, the guy in
front or in back of him would probably get killed.
Andrew told his team sergeant he needed help.
The sergeant just looked at him. Do you think
youre the only one who didnt sleep last night?
But Andrew knew something was wrong. He had
been a volunteer firefighter, had seen some gruesome
stuff. He had never experienced a reaction like this. He
told his sergeant he thought he was having a nervous
breakdown.
His sergeant told him to pull his head out of his
ass, get himself together and act like a soldier. Andrew
was told to go away and think about what he was saying, because it could lead to serious complications for
his career.
Andrew returned to his room, unsure what to do.
He tried to eat a Nutri-Grain bar. It tasted disgusting.
He had diarrhea, couldnt drink, became dehydrated.
The only thing he could do was smoke cigarettes. He
lit up one after another, burning through four packs
that day.
Andrew was confined to his room and relieved of
his weapons. He was given two sleeping pills
Ambienwhich knocked him out for seven hours. His
head filled with bizarre nightmares, and he woke up in
the middle of the night with a feeling of impending
doom.
He returned to his team sergeant and told him
again that he needed help. The sergeant said that wasnt
an option.
So everythings not an option, Andrew said. So,
well, if you cant help me here, I guess you are going to
have to send me home.
The next day, Andrew and his belongings were
loaded onto a convoy. He heard that, earlier that day, a
convoy had been attacked nearby. Now, in the dark,
they would drive the same route.
Andrew requested his weapons back. His superiors
said no.
The convoy took Andrew to a large military compound in Tikrit fashioned from one of Saddam
Husseins palaces. He was put under suicide watch.
For several days, Andrew had been asking to see a
chaplain. At Tikrit, he was allowed to meet with one.
He told the chaplain what had happened: the body, the
nightmares, the room collapsing. The chaplain looked
at Andrew and said his reaction was normal. It happened on a daily basis. He said Andrew didnt have
anything to worry about.
Andrew broke down and cried.
The chaplain brought Andrew to the combat-stress
control team of the 85th Medical Detachment, which
was stationed at Tikrit. An army psychologist listened
to Andrews story for an hour and a half. Then the psychologist repeated what the chaplain had said: Andrew
was having an abnormal reaction to an abnormal environment, which was normal. Completely normal.
The psychologist told Andrew he should spend a
couple of days with the combat-stress control team,
where hed get plenty of rest, good meals and counseling. He said Andrew should be able to return to duty
within a week. The psychologist suggested the same in
his report to Andrews superiors: Soldier reported
signs of symptoms consistent with those of a normal
combat-stress reaction. Short-term rest, stress-coping
skills, and/or brief removal from more dangerous situations are often adequate to resolve such reactions. If
desired, the combat-stress team can work with this soldier at FOB Speicher. Rest and a concentrated stressreduction program are provided, with return to duty
assumed.

Boulder Weekly
February 17, 2005
12

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was going to move away with the child. It was


a typical conversation for Bill and his ex-wife,
the type of confrontation that would put him
in a bad mood for hours.
Laura made dinner for the kids, put the
youngest two to bed. At 6:30 p.m., the phone
rang. It was one of Bills Army buddies. Bill
talked on the phone for an hour and a half,
drinking Jack and Cokes. He had three or four
of them.
At 8 p.m., he hung up the phone, in a
foul mood. When Laura walked to the
kitchen, he tried to trip her.
Laura knew when shed done something to
piss him off; this time she hadnt done anything. Bill followed Laura into the kitchen.
When she tried to get to the refrigerator, he
stood in her way.
I need milk for my cereal, Laura said.
Bill didnt move.
Laura didnt say anything but reached
around him and took the milk out of the
refrigerator.
A little after 9 p.m., Bill found Laura in
the den and said, Take out the fucking trash.
He was snarling. Hed never talked to her
like that.
Laura face him. What did you just say?
Take out the fucking trash.
No, she responded. One, you dont talk
to me like that. Two, youre not my dad. You
cant tell me what to do
Bill punched Laura in the forehead.
Laura hit him back, a blow to his mouth.
Bill stepped back, then punched her twice, in
the eye and the neck. His rage was quiet, controlled.
Laura told Bill he had 10 minutes to get
out of the house.
Ive told you and told you never to bring
violence into this house, she said. Whatever
youve seen on the job, whatever youve done,
youve brought it here, which is not acceptable.
You are going to have to find somewhere else
to go for a while. You cant stay here and conduct yourself that way. Its not going to happen.
Laura walked into the living room, where
her son was watching The Matrix on TV. She
told him to go upstairs and take a shower.
Ten minutes later, Bill was still there. He
confronted Laura in the kitchen and began
yelling at her.
You dont love me, he said. Youve cheated
on me. Youre a bitch.
He wasnt making any sense.
Laura fired back. Youre not in Iraq anymore. I want a divorce.
This went on for 15 minutes, until Laura
told Bill he was going to have to get one of his
friends to come pick him up, or she was going
to call the police.
Fine, he said. Ill make a mess of your
fucking house.
He walked out of the room, and Laura
heard the basement door open.
The only thing down there were his guns.
Laura picked up the cordless phone in the
kitchen. She ran out to hide in the backyard
and dialed 911.
My husband just hit me, and hes going
downstairs to get his gun, she told the dispatcher.
When Bill walked out into the backyard
where Laura was hiding, she hung up the
phone, afraid he would hear her. She thought
she could make out a weapon under his gray
sweatshirt.

The 911 dispatcher called back. Laura


picked up. Bill did, too.
Hello. Hello, said Bill into the phone.
His voice was flat.
Yeah, who am I speaking with? said the
dispatcher.
Whos calling? said Bill.
This is Mike with the Sheriffs Office.
Yes, sir.
Your wife just called and said you guys
were having some problems there?
Well, thats fine.
Can you tell me whats going on?
Well, I dont know. Shes the one that
called, you should talk to her.
OK, can I talk to her?
I dont know where she is.
OK, is everything OK there?
Its OK by me.
Well, whats going on?
I dont know.
OK, is everything OK there?
I think its fine.
OK, do you know why she called?
I have no idea.
OK, who else is at home with you? Is it
just you and your wife at home?
Yeah, the best thing would be to talk to
my wife.
OK, can you go ahead and put her on
the line?
Hold on.
Bill hung up. While hed been talking,
Laura had moved around the side of the
house. When she reached the front yard, she
saw two police officers approaching from the
street. Then she heard the front door open.
Laura took one step forward, and Bill met
her between the garage and their truck, which
was parked in the driveway. He grabbed her by
the shirt and pulled a gun out of his waistband. A .357-caliber revolver. It was huge. Bill
pointed the gun at Lauras face.
Youre going to watch this. Youre going
to watch this, he said.
He meant that she would watch while he
shot her.
Laura smacked away the hand holding the
revolver.
It was then the officers noticed the gun.
Sir, drop the gun. Sir, drop the gun. Its
not worth it. Sir, drop the gun.
Bill took a couple steps backward, the gun
pointed at Laura.
Then he raised the gun to his head and
pulled the trigger.
One of the officers fired, hitting Bill in the
arm, but it was too late. The .357-caliber bullet had already blasted through Bills head.
Chief Warrant Officer William Howell
was dead.
Laura spent the next week coordinating
the funeral and answering questions from the
sheriffs department and the Army. Reporters
suggested the suicide cast doubt on the militarys mental-health screening for returning
vets.
Laura didnt know what to think. Shed
known Bill for six years. Until hed pulled the
trigger, it hadnt occurred to her that he would
commit suicide.
Bill had a temper and had been violent
before. In 2001, hed hit Laura. He was on
anabolic steroids at the time. Hed always been
sensitive to drugs, and the steroids likely
caused him lose his temper. Even then, Bill
had been able to stop himself; hed got off the
steroids and had never hit Laura again.

Bill had been a member of an A-team.


Hed been trained to be in control at all times.
Hed lived his life under control.
On the night of March 14, there had been
no control. It didnt make sense. Laura had
looked into Bills eyes. Nothing had seemed to
be registering.
As Laura relived the night in her head, one
thing kept bothering her. It had to do with the
police.
Bill had walked into his front yard with a
loaded handgun, while police officers
approached the house. Laura had noticed the
officers; Bill should have noticed them, too.
Bill had been exceptionally bright, able to
outthink, outtalk and out-maneuver almost
anybody. There was no way a Special Forces
soldier like him was going to give up his entire
career after a few drinks and a fight with his
wife. Bill could have easily ditched the gun or
evaded the officers. Or he could have killed
the police, and Laura, without too much trouble.
That is, unless there was something very
wrong with Bill.

For both Andrew and Laura, the answers


started with a phone call.
Two and a half weeks after he returned
from Iraq, Andrew received a call from his
newly hired lawyer. Andrew had been through
enough at that point to know he needed legal
help. The lawyer asked Andrew if hed taken
antimalarial pills in Iraq. Andrew thought back
and realized that he had.
The day hed been assigned to the A-team,
hed met the team medic, whod handed
Andrew a box of pills. The medic had said the
pills would prevent malaria and that the team
had to take them every Monday. Theyd called
it Malaria Monday to remember.
Andrew had taken the first two pills before
hed deployed. Hed put the foil blister packs
of scored, white pills in his first-aid kit when
hed packed, leaving the box at home. Hed
taken the third pill the morning of his initial
panic attack.
Laura received the first call a few days after
Bill died from a soldier shed never heard of,
whod never met Bill.
At first Laura said she didnt want to talk.
But the soldier kept calling back. Finally she
agreed to speak to him.
The soldier told her he was sick. He
described his symptoms; they sounded a lot
like what Bill had experienced the night of his
suicide. The soldier told Laura to find out
whether Bill had taken antimalarial pills.
Laura did as the soldier suggested and
found a notation in Bills medical records indicating that he had.
Both Andrew and Bill had been taking a
drug called mefloquine hydrochloride, better
known as Lariam.

Answers

n 1965, the U.S. Department of Defense


(DOD) was in trouble. In Vietnam, malaria was downing 800 soldiers a month, a
greater number than those dropped by North
Vietnamese bullets. Malaria, a mosquito-born
parasite, causes fever, nausea, chills, sweats,
headaches, general malaise and, in severe cases,
death.
Chloroquine, the antimalarial drug of

Infectious Diseases reported more troubling


findings: Out of nearly 500 travelers who took
Lariam, 29 percent experienced neuropsychiatric effects.
The other shoe finally dropped in 2002.
In May, reporters Mark Benjamin and Dan
Olmsted of United Press International (UPI)
broke the story. Between 1998 and 2002, the
FDA had received reports of 11 suicides, 12
suicide attempts, 41 cases of thinking about
suicide and 144 cases of depression associated
with Lariam, problems doctors were not
required to report.
And then there was the 1994 Roche safety
report, which noted that a causal link between
suicide and Lariam could not be ruled out.
After more than a decade in the spotlight,
Lariam had lost much of its luster. In 2001,
the CDC changed its antimalarial recommendations. Now doxycycline and a newer drug
called atovaquone/proguanil were also recommended. In October 2002, after the UPI story,
Roche changed its Lariam label significantly,
noting, among other things, unconfirmed
links between Lariam and suicide. A year later,
the FDA announced that all patients taking
Lariam must be given a medication guide
about the drug. The guide noted, Some
patients taking Lariam think about killing
themselves, and there have been rare reports of
suicide.
Roche and the FDA stopped short of
making a direct correlation between Lariam
and suicide. Officials said there was no scientific proof.

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Boulder Weekly
13

On June 17, 2003, Steve Robinson


received an unusual e-mail. It was from an
Army lieutenant colonel stationed in Iraq; he
said hed just been medically evacuated from
the country. He was experiencing insomnia,
sweats, confusion, increased heart rate. The
soldier had spent 19 years in the Army and
had been in excellent health. He said he
believed hed suffered an adverse reaction to
Lariam.
Steve, a retired Army ranger, was the executive director of the National Gulf War
Resource Center, Inc., a Gulf War veterans
advocacy group based in Washington, D.C.
Hed heard a lot of scary stories from soldiers
coming back from the Persian Gulf. Depleted
uranium poisonings. Anti-nerve-agent experiments. Hed never heard of anyone being given
Lariam as part of Operation Iraqi Freedom.
Steve asked DOD officials if they were
using Lariam in Iraq. They said no. Steve then
e-mailed the lieutenant colonel, informing him
of the officials response.
Your source on Lariam is incorrect, the
lieutenant colonel responded. Our entire field
artillery brigade was issued six weeks of Lariam
medication in Kuwait.
In his visits to Army hospitals, Steve began
asking questions. The more he looked, the
more he found. And the more he learned
about Lariam, the less he liked what he found.
For years, DOD had been routinely prescribing Lariam to soldiers in regions where
chloroquine-resistant malaria was prevalent.
Steve, however, began to question whether the
drug made sense in any combat environment.
Lariams label warned, Caution should be
exercised with regard to activities requiring
alertness and fine motor coordination, such as
driving, piloting aircraft, operating machinery,

rin
ga

B. Meredith Burke had an overwhelming


urge to experience what it would feel like to
walk through space. She kept eyeing the window of her high-rise hotel.
In 1991, Meredith, a demographer and
writer working as a contractor for the World
Bank, was in Nigeria on a business trip.
Something was very wrong. She was considering jumping out her window. For the past few
days, shed been experiencing tingling in her
hands and feet, violent dreams, hallucinations.
When she mentioned her symptoms to her
companions, they asked if she was taking
Lariam. She said yes, and they advised her to
stop taking it.
Meredith recovered, but she wasnt satisfied. When she returned to the United States,
she asked other World Bank employees if they
had taken Lariam while traveling, and she
began collecting horror stories. As a professional demographer, Meredith suspected
Lariam caused serious side effects more frequently than its manufacturer, Roche, suggested.
In 1997, Meredith founded Lariam Action
USA, a volunteer organization providing information and services for people with questions
about Lariam.
Lariam Action USA collected countless
stories of strange side effects apparently linked
to Lariam. A British schoolmaster whod inexplicably stolen thousands of dollars of schooltrip money. A former Democratic congressman
whod said hed lost all ability to tell right from
wrong and had swindled millions of dollars

from friends. A young traveler whod thought


the television was telling her to live on another
planet. A police sergeant whod suffered two
seizures without explanation and hadnt been
able to resume normal work for years. A hospital administrator whod dealt with a lingering
pain in the base of his skull by placing a shotgun where it hurt and pulling the trigger.
Members of Lariam Action USA suspected
the science behind Lariam was flawed; they
believed it had been faulty since the drug was
introduced.
When Lariam was first licensed in the
United States in 1989, the medication was recommended at a dosage of one 250-milligram
pill every two weeks. A year later, the Centers
for Disease Control (CDC) recommended
increasing the dosage to one pill a week. The
change was based on a study of Peace Corps
volunteers taking mefloquine. CDC chief
malaria expert Dr. Hans Lobel, suggested that
because some of the study participants had
contracted malaria while taking the pill bimonthly, the dosage should be increased.
Lariam Action USA volunteers claimed
that the study hadnt involved Lariam. They
said its participants had been given a European
brand of mefloquine that was only three-quarters the strength of Lariam. Lariam Action
USA volunteers believed the weekly dosage of
Lariam might be excessive, especially since the
extra dose could possibly expose those who
took the pill to additional side effects.
These side effects could be serious. Roches
1999 Lariam label warned that the medication
could cause balance problems, nervous-system
disorders, anxiety, depression, restlessness and
confusion. Near the end of the lengthy label,
Roche listed additional adverse reactions: nausea, dizziness, vertigo, headaches, sleep disorders, diarrhea, convulsions, hallucinations,
psychotic or paranoid reactions, aggression,
hearing impairment, vestibular disorders, visual disturbances and, possibly, thoughts of suicide.
Lariam Action USA volunteers believed
Roches Lariam warning label didnt tell the
whole story. In Great Britain, the Lariam label
noted additional adverse reactions, including
disabling psychiatric reactions that could last
for weeks. In Canada, the label warned users
to avoid alcohol; the U.S. label did not.
For most people who took Lariam, the
warning label was probably irrelevant; U.S.
pharmacies were not required to distribute the
entire label with the medication. It appeared
likely that many Lariam users, doctors and
medical experts didnt know exactly what the
medicine could do.
Lariam wasnt the only new antimalarial
medicine on the market; a drug called doxycycline also protected against new strains of
malaria and was often cheaper. Throughout
the 1990s, however, the CDC continued to
recommend Lariam as the drug of choice for
regions where chloroquine-resistant malaria
was present. CDC officials said Lariam was
extremely safe; they cited a 1993 Roche-sponsored study that determined the rate of serious
side effects to be one in 10,000.
Lariam Action USA volunteers believed
Lariam-induced adverse reactions occurred
more frequently than officials were letting on.
They cited a study published in 1996 in the
British Medical Journal that determined that 1
in 140 travelers taking Lariam suffered serious
side effects. A study conducted by a competing
drug company published in 2001 in Clinical

photo: Click Studio

choice for decades, was no longer working. In


some regions, the parasites had become
immune to the medication. Walter Reed Army
Institute of Research, DODs primary biomedical research laboratory, screened a quarter-million compounds in search of a replacement.
They came up with mefloquine hydrochloride.
A structural cousin to quinine, mefloquine
hydrochloride was found to be highly effective
in preventing malaria. Army experiments with
the drug reportedly revealed few side effects.
In locations where chloroquine was failing,
mefloquine hydrochloride worked.
In 1989, the U.S. Food and Drug
Administration (FDA) approved a commercial
version of mefloquine hydrochloride, manufactured by the Swiss pharmaceutical company
F. Hoffman-La Roche. Roche, as the company
is more commonly known, named the drug
Lariam.
Lariam was desperately needed. While
malaria had been effectively eradicated in the
United States in the 1950s, nearly half of the
worlds population lived in areas where malaria
was transmitted, including parts of Africa,
Asia, the Middle East and Central and South
America. In these regions, millions of people
died of malaria each year. Older antimalarial
drugs were often no longer an option. The
problem was so severe that the Peace Corps
considered abandoning its Africa programs
when half of its volunteers there contracted
chloroquine-resistant malaria.
Thanks to Lariam, malaria cases dropped
immediately. It was hailed as a miracle drug,
becoming the drug of choice for many of the
most malaria-prone places in the world. These
were the places where Americas tourists went
for vacationand where Americas soldiers
went to fight.

Behaving
Italian
with bartender
Tony D'Angio

Years bartending
3 years, sexy.
Favorite part of the job
Collecting fat tip money for me
and my goombahs to spend on
video games and muscle cars.
Favorite time of day to
drink Tuaca
As I'm slipping into a soothing
bubble bath at the end of the day
and my lady is giving me a neck
massage.
Greatest moment as
bartender
This one time when my barmate
Stoney and I successfully pulled
off a Triple Spinning Cow on a
busy Friday happy hour. The
crowd went nuts over our mad
bottle-tricking skills. We made
all kinds of green.

14

February 17, 2005

Boulder Weekly

Your defining
Behaving Italian
moment?
Eating Mama's stromboli when I
go back east to visit.
Favorite Tuaca
drink recipe
The Tuacaccino
which combines yummy Tuaca
with coffee and instant cocoa.
Then you top it all off with some
whipped cream. My personal
touch is to add a dash of chocolate powder on top. That's so hot.

Iraq war
and deep-sea diving, as dizziness, a loss
Andrew requested a court-martial.
subject of town
of balance, or other disorders of the
The Army backed off. They
central or peripheral nervous systold
Andrew that he had to formeeting
tem have been reported during
get about everything that had
and following the use of
happened. He was going
s the death toll continues to rise in Iraq, many Americans
feel helpless with regard to the war. But in times like these,
Lariam. Lariam was not
back to Iraq.
community involvement and motivation can make a world of differrecommended for patients
Andrew said fine
ence.This Thursday, voice your opinion about the war and get tips for rewith a history of depresjust as soon as he was
energizing your activism.The Rocky Mountain Peace and Justice Center
sion or anxiety.
legally and medically
(RMPJC) is sponsoring a community town hall meeting this Thursday that
To Steve, it didnt
cleared of all wrongdoaims to bring different viewpoints together on the issue. Each speaker will have
seem like the kind of
ing. In writing.
two minutes to talk about issues or concerns they have pertaining to the war.
thing youd want to
The Army wouldWere really hoping that we can bring in people on all sides of the
issue so that people get some understanding of where other people are
give to people in the
nt do it. The case
coming from, says Carolyn Bninski, one of the event organizers.
midst of war.
remained in limbo.
In addition to engaging the community in a dialogue, RMPJC hopes to
He received more
At one point,
energize community members to take action against the war. Action items
e-mails from soldiers
Andrew and his lawyer
will include suggestions on how to protest President Bushs recent request
whod been given
asked his superiors
of $82 billion dollars for the war effort.
Lariam in Iraq. Many of
about the antimalarial
Ultimately, says Bninski, the goal of the meeting is to motivate and
those who contacted him
drug Andrew had been
educate the community.Theres so many different ways that people
can vocalize their concerns, she says, and its time for people to
said they did not receive
given.
take action.
medication guides with their
That excuse didnt work
The Community Town Hall Meeting will be at 7 p.m.,
Lariam doses. They said their
for the guys at Bragg, and its
Thursday, Feb. 17, at the Unity Church, on the corner of
Lariam prescriptions were not
not going to work for you, they
Folsom and Valmont, Boulder.The event is free and
noted in their medical records.
were
told.
open to the public. Call 303-444-6981 ext. 2
DOD policy required that medication
Andrew wasnt so sure.
for more information.
guides be distributed with drugs like
The panic. The hallucinations. The
GH
Lariam and that all medicines be listed on solnausea. The anxiety. The depression. It all sugdiers medical records.
gested Lariam. The symptoms started the day
Steve began to doubt whether many of the
But peoAndrew took his third Lariam pill; the British
soldiersincluding officers and medical perple remembered Somalia. People remembered
Advisory Committee on Malaria Prevention
sonnelknew enough to recognize Lariam
Fort Bragg.
had reported that more than 75 percent of
problems. It was possible some were confusing
That December, DOD changed its antiadverse reactions to the drug were apparent
Lariams side effectsnightmares, hallucinamalarial recommendations for Iraq.
after the third dose.
tions, distress, sleeplessness, aggressionwith
Chloroquine was now the drug of choice.
Andrew didnt have most of the physical
symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, a
Two months later, on Feb. 25, 2004, Lt.
symptoms associated with Lariam, but that
growing concern in the military.
Gen. James B. Peake, the Army surgeon generchanged a month and a half after he returned
And then there was Somalia. And Fort
al, appeared before members of Congress to
home. Blurry vision, balance problems, stagBragg.
address concerns about Lariam. DOD would
gering, stomach problems. He could hardly
In 1993, a group of Canadian troops stastudy possible side effects of Lariam, including
aim his rifle. He was the textbook case for
tioned in Somalia beat a local teenager to
reports of suicide, said Peake. But there was no
Lariam side effects.
death. Lead pipes. Trophy photos. The officer
correlation, he said, between the medicine and
Andrews medical records didnt indicate
in charge was allegedly speaking gibberish.
the recent rash of suicides. Only four of the
hed taken Lariam. But Andrew had the medIn a six-week period in the summer of
soldiers whod committed suicide were reportication box to prove it.
2002, at Fort Bragg, N. C., three Special
ed to be from units taking Lariam.
For months, Andrew requested specialized
Forces soldiers just back from Afghanistan
We do know the documented side effects
testing, evaluation, treatment. There had to be
killed their wives and then themselves. An
of this medicine, but the key causes of the suisome way to determine for sure whether
Army report blamed marital discord and miscides were failed intimate relationships, legal
Lariam was the cause of his symptoms.
sion stress.
and financial problems, said Peake. We dont
At the end of May 2004, Andrews superiThe Canadian troops had been taking
think it is as big a problem as has been made
ors relented. Because of his balance problems,
Lariam. So had the Special Forces soldiers.
out.
they sent him to the Spatial Orientation Lab
Steve kept asking DOD officials about
at the Naval Medical Center in San Diego.
Lariam in Iraq. By the fall of 2003, the offiConfrontation
There, Andrew met Dr. Michael Hoffer.
cials story began to change. Some units in
Hoffer seemed to care about his patients. He
Iraq had been given Lariam. Just a handful.
ndrew wasnt going down for someinspected Andrews ears, nose and throat. He
Then the story changed again. Lariam was
thing he didnt do. The military had
observed how Andrew walked, how he moved
being widely used in Iraq. More than 4 million
charged Andrew with a crime punhis head and eyes. He sat Andrew in a special
doses were bought that year. DOD officials
ishable by death. The Army brass might have
kind of chair, spun him around. He stood
werent sure if the malaria in Iraq was resistant
figured that the moment they offered Andrew
Andrew on a platform while he tilted it from
to chloroquine, and they were prescribing
a deal, hed take it and shut up. If so, they
side to side.
Lariam to be safe.
were wrong.
On June 2, 2004, the doctor wrote his
To Steve, it didnt make any sense. To
On Nov. 6, 2003, three weeks after
diagnosis. Eye, ear and balance functions were
determine what antimalarial drug, if any, is
Andrew had been branded a coward, the Army
abnormal. Parts of Andrews inner ear and cenneeded for a given deployment, DOD medical
dropped that charge. Now he was accused of
tral nervous system were damaged.
experts usually looked to CDC recommendadereliction of duty for willfully failing to perDrug toxicity antimalarials, wrote
tions. But in the case of Operation Iraqi
form his job. If convicted, Andrew could
Hoffer. Likely Lariam toxicity.
Freedom, that didnt seem to happen.
spend up to six months in prison and could be
Andrew wasnt the only soldier visiting
For at least a decade, the CDC had been
discharged from the Army for bad conduct.
Hoffer. Over the next few weeks, the doctor
recommending one antimalarial medication
In December, Andrews superiors offered
diagnosed 10 other service members whod
for Iraq: chloroquine.
him a hearing under Article 15 of the Uniform
served in Afghanistan or Iraq with similar balSoon Steve wasnt the only one wondering
Code of Military Justice, under which a comance problems and brain damage. The comabout Lariam. Suicides were spiking among
manding officer could limit what evidence
mon thread, Hoffer told the press, was Lariam.
U.S. soldiers in Iraq. By the end of 2003, there
Andrew could use to present his case. Andrews
If not treated, the damage could last indefihad been 24 soldier suicides in Iraq, a rate of
lawyer could be barred from the proceedings.
nitely.
18 per 100,000 soldiers, nearly double the
But Andrew wasnt buying it.
The press jumped the story. DOD had
average.
Im not going to be part of your kangabeen downplaying Lariam concerns for
In September 2003, the Army surgeon
roo court, he said. If you have something on
months. Now, a DOD doctor had diagnosed
generals office launched an investigation into
me, if you have a case, lets put it all out there.
soldiers with brain damage caused by Lariam.
the suicides. They never considered Lariam.
Have a trial.
One of those soldiers was Andrew Pogany, the

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Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif., demanded that the federal government and DOD reevaluate their use of Lariam. Naval specialists
in San Diego announced they would launch a
study into Hoffers diagnoses.
On the evening of July 15, 2004, Andrew
was called to a meeting with his commanding
officer. As a result of his medical diagnosis, all
charges against him would be dropped.
This time it was official.

Laura first heard of Lariam while Bill was


still in Iraq. There was talk of links to suicide.
Bills former teammate, Andrew Pogany, was
saying the drug had caused his much-publicized panic attack.
The next time Laura spoke to Bill on the
phone, she asked him about Lariam.
Sure, we all take it, he said. We are
done taking it anyway.
Malaria season was over. Laura had nothing to worry about.
Three months later, she was wondering if
Lariam had killed her husband.
Steve Robinson at the National Gulf
Resource Center helped put the pieces together. Like Bill, Steve had been an Army Ranger.
Steve told Laura that someone like Bill, 17
years in the military, doesnt just snap.
Something had to push him over the edge.
Lariam fit the bill. Thinking back, Laura
thought Bill exhibited many tell-tale side
effects: skin rash, diarrhea, fatigue, joint pain.
And then, on the last night, there was anxiety,
aggression, suicide.
The Army never denied that Bill had
taken Lariam; his medical records proved hed
taken the drug.
Lariam. There was no other explanation.
It turned out Bills case wasnt unique. In
September, Mark Benjamin and Dan Olmsted
of UPI reported that over the past decade, six
Special Forces soldiers had committed suicide
after taking Lariam. Since Sept. 11, 2001,
every Special Forces soldier whod killed himself had taken the drug.

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Seven months after hed written likely


Lariam toxicity on Andrews brain-injury
diagnosis, Dr. Michael Hoffer changed his
mind. He said hed been wrong. He didnt
know what had caused the damage.
As a result, the soldiers medical records
were changed. Now their disorders were listed
as of unknown origin.
We are not sure that this is Lariam, said
Hoffer in a Jan. 31 interview. Early on when
we were seeing [the patients], the early individuals maybe only gave that history [of
Lariam use]. And then, as we started to see
more people, and started to re-question some
of the people we first saw, more came out
about them. They may have had an agenda.
But then a soldier told UPI that Hoffer
had said he was being pressured from the top
to drop the Lariam references. When the soldier asked if Hoffer meant DOD, the doctor
allegedly nodded his head.
Hoffer denied the allegations.
It sounded to some like the Army was circling the wagons, trying to deny the impact of
the drug on its soldiers.
In 2004, the military launched several

studies on Lariam and its association with suicide. One was by the Armed Forces Medical
Examiners Office, another by the Naval
Health Research Center in San Diego. At the
time, military officials announced the public
could expect preliminary results within
months. As of February 2005, no findings
have been released.
In September 2004, the Army admitted it
gave Congress bad information on the 2003
suicide spike in Iraq. DOD officials had said
no more than four of the 24 deceased soldiers
could have taken Lariam. Now the military
acknowledged as many as 11 could have been
on the drug. A year later, after Lariam had
reportedly been all but discontinued in Iraq,
only nine soldiers killed themselves in
Operation Iraqi Freedom.
On Feb. 3, 2005, another Special Forces
soldier at Fort Bragg, Spc. Richard T.
Corcoran, killed himself after shooting his exwife and her boyfriend. While serving in
Afghanistan, Corcoran had been prescribed
Lariam.
Roche, the manufacturer of Lariam, continues to maintain theres no connection
between their drug and suicide and violence.
There is no scientific evidence of a
causal link between Lariam and suicide or
suicidal ideation, writes Terence Hurley,
director of product public relations for
Roche, in an e-mail to Boulder Weekly.
Based on all the data currently available, no
cause-and-effect relationship between Lariam
and suicide or suicidal ideation has been
established. Also, there is no reliable scientific evidence that Lariam is associated with
violent acts or criminal conduct. Numerous
studies show that the incidence of serious
neuropsychiatric events in patients taking
Lariam for treatment is very low. And, Roche
is not aware of any study, or other reliable
scientific evidence, that Lariam causes permanent vestibular dysfunction.
Meanwhile, the U.S. military continues to
prescribe Lariam to soldiers stationed in many
parts of the world.

Casualties

heres a community now. Andrews


part of it. Lauras part of it. Lariam
Action USA and Steve Robinson nurture it, connecting people looking for answers
with those who might have them. Its military
and civilian. The community is made up of
those who say they are victims of Lariam.
Army buddies Bernard Johnson and Chris
Heaton are part of the community. While stationed in Somalia in 1993, they awoke every
Tuesday morning to the Army radio DJ
announcing, Its psycho Tuesday! In other
words, it was time to take Lariam.
Bernard, Chris and their fellow soldiers
were plagued by vivid dreams: hacking off
limbs, decapitation, sucking blood from people. At night, soldiers woke up screaming.
Everyone got mean; soldiers fought with officers. The unit reportedly marched through villages, destroying huts, beating up the locals.
When they returned to the United States,
Chris nearly divorced his wife and drank every
night for months. Bernard contemplated suicide and asked the Veterans Health
Administration for help; he says they blew him
off. Bernard and Chris think the Army knew
what the drug would do to them; they think
the Army wanted to make them more violent.

They want you to be able to pull the trigger. They want you to be able to kill your fellow man, says Chris. I think they probably
know this drug does this, and they send [soldiers] into combat situations, and they give
them this drug, so they guarantee they are
going to pull that trigger.
Kenn Miller spent two years in Senegal as
a Peace Corps volunteer. At first, Kenn and his
friends liked Lariam; it caused them to have
wild, lucid dreams. But then the dreams
became dark. Kenns extremities went numb.
His memory started failing. He passed out. A
local doctor diagnosed him with brain
swelling. Two years after leaving Senegal, Kenn
still experiences headaches, nausea, disorientation and dizzy spells. He can only work part
time. Today, 85 percent of Peace Corps volunteers take Lariam.
A Special Forces soldier, who asked to
remain anonymous, was deployed to
Afghanistan during Operation Enduring
Freedom as an A-team medic and engineer.
After taking Lariam, he experienced nightmares, coordination problems, anxiety and
headaches. He could no longer function in
combat: If he sensed someone was near him,
he would want to pull the triggereven
before he knew whether they were friend or
foe.
Destanie was deployed to Afghanistan in
2002. While taking Lariam, Destanie lost 30
pounds, suffered severe nightmares and panic
attacks and experienced extreme mood swings.
She couldnt complete her duties. Medics put
her on antidepressants and sleeping pills.
Eventually she pointed a gun at her lieutenant,
threatened to shoot him and was kicked out of
the military.
[The Army] was my whole life. It was all
I had ever known. Growing up, that was all I
wanted to do, says Destanie. Its gone. I can
never have it back. It hurts.
Donnie Pomponio joined the military in
1986 because he wanted to fly Black Hawk
helicopters. In 2002, he was sent to
Afghanistan. Almost immediately, he
appeared to suffer a bad reaction to Lariam:
hallucinations, anxiety, extreme distress. His
medic suggested he stop taking the drug.
When Donnie returned home in 2003, he
was a different person. He would swing
between feelings of rage and defeat. He began
sweating so heavily at night that he had to
change the sheets. He often hid himself in a
bathroom or closet, crying. He slept for two,
three, four days straight. He was recently
diagnosed with brain damage. Since July
2004, Donnie has rarely been able to leave
the house without sedation.
Stacy, Donnies wife, is outraged.
My husband is alive and I am grateful
and in no way can I compare myself with the
families who laid there soldiers into a grave,
she says, but he has definitely experienced
loss of life.

Laura sits in the living room of her


Monument house. Looking through the
front window she can see, more or less,
where her husband ended his life on March
14, 2004.
Lauras told the story of what happened
that night numerous times. Shes spoken with
so many news outlets she can classify the type
of reporter whos interviewing her. Male

reporters are a breeze; they just want the facts.


Im still in my anger phase, says Laura
Female reporters, on the other hand, arent so
with a smile. So when I catch up to Bill,
easy. They want to know her emotions.
there will be some retribution.
Laura knows it wasnt really her husband
who pulled the trigger. But she also knows that
if someone had to die that night, it had to be
Bill. Better him than a police officer, the chilAndrew takes a sip of his water. Hes sitdren or herself.
ting in a bar in Boulder; its Thursday afterPretty soon Laura will probably stop
noon. As part of his therapy regimen, Andrews
telling the story; shell compartmentalize it,
drives to Boulder each week, an hour and a
just like her husband had been trained to do
half each way, to see a specialist.
with what he saw in Iraq. But for now, its part
First, he has to get through another interof her therapy. She feels people need to
view. Hes meeting a documentary filmknow what happened. They need
maker at the bar. Hell likely tell
to know what the symptoms
his story in amazingly acculook like, and they need
rate detail, down to how
For more
to know how to get
he unpacked his gear
help. Maybe then it
the night of his first
information
wont happen
panic attack. Hell
To find out more about Lariam, or if you
again.
list the extensive
think youve experienced Lariam side effects, contact:
People, you
documentation
Lariam Action USA
need to know that
hes collected on
www.lariaminfo.org
info@lariaminfo.org.
this is out there,
Lariam, boxes
says Laura.
and boxes of files.
If you are a member of the military and
Because if it can
Andrew doesyou have questions about Lariam, contact:
happen to someone
nt tell his story as
National Gulf War Resource Center, Inc.
as strong and as
much as he used to.
www.ngwrc.org
intelligent and wellAs
he says, hes last
301-585-4000 x162
trained and as experiyears news. But
enced and as normal as Bill
Andrews not done fighting.
was, it can happen to you, if you
Hes still waiting for an apology
are not aware.
from the Army. Hes still waiting for
Laura doesnt know why her husband was
answers.
given Lariam. She wonders if there were finanAndrew isnt into conspiracy theories. Hes
cial incentives. Roche derived Lariam from the
not about to say the military drugged him up
Armys research; maybe the Army got a good
on a psycho-pill to turn him into a killer.
deal on the drug in return. The military, after
Maybe the Army gave him Lariam because it
all, is one big business, she says. Its all about
was cheaper. Maybe the Army used Lariam
savings.
because officials really did think it was easier
Laura is also curious about what Bill and
to take than a daily antimalarial pill.
Andrew Pogany might have had in common.
Andrew is far less understanding about the
Why did two of the most high-profile allegamilitarys apparent failure to take Lariam contions of Lariam side effects in the Army come
cerns seriously. All those soldier suicides, caused
from the same 12-man A-team? Could the
by marital problems? Financial difficulties?
team have been given a bad supply of
Stress? Come on, he says. It doesnt make sense.
Lariam? Or are the medications side effects
The worst part, says Andrew, is that the
so common that Lariam can debilitate two
Army could be ignoring countless soldiers
out of 12 soldiers who take it?
coming back from war who need serious help.
Laura hasnt launched a one-woman cruAndrew was lucky; he was one of a handful of
sade against the military officers who presoldiers who was diagnosed (for a while) with
scribed Lariam in Iraq when it apparently
Lariam toxicity and who received appropriate
wasnt needed, the ones who say Bills suitreatment. If the Army doesnt green light
cide was most likely caused by marital probmore testing, theres no telling how many sollems. She knows it would be a waste of
diers could fall through the cracks.
time. That doesnt mean shes OK with what
I strongly believe that having received
they did.
treatment is whats keeping me on track today
[Soldiers] know that they could die in the
and keeping me from pretty much imprisoning
field, she says. They know they could die in
myself in my room, like so many have done
an accident at any second, and they accept that.
before us, and potentially like so many Iraqi
They do not expectand why should they?
Freedom vets are going to be doing, too, if they
that a medication that they were given by their
dont receive the correct treatment, he says.
employer could cause damage or death.
Andrew takes another sip of his water. He
Laura is coping. Shes created new routines
says he thinks about Bill Howell all the time.
to replace her old life, eliminated Bills presI wish I would have had an opportunity
ence as much as she can from the house. She
to talk to him.
remodeled the basement. Where there were
Bill probably wouldnt have spoken to
guns, there is now a home-theater system, a
him, he says. Bill was part of the A-team;
play area, a spare bedroom.
Andrew was essentially an outcast.
But Bills still here. Lauras first daughter
Its so disturbing to think that nobody else
with Bill, a toddler, thinks Daddys still in
saw anything, that nobody else did anything for
Iraq. Raq, she calls it. Sometimes she speaks
him, Andrew says. And the reason I find that
with Daddy on the phone.
so disturbing is that is what happened to me.
Laura finds Bills lingering presence kind
Nobody did anything for me. They just kicked
of useful. Hes the perfect scapegoat. He cant
me to the curb. If I just got one opportunity to
talk back. He gets yelled at on occasion. If
sit down with him and have everything else
something breaks, its Bills fault. If something
detached and just listen to the guy. Just listen. I
goes bad, its Bills fault. All the girls bad
just wish I could have talked to him.
traitstheyre Bills fault.
Respond@boulderweekly.com

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Boulder Weekly
February 17, 2005
17

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