EVENTS &

CELEBRATIONS

A SUPPLEMENT TO THE JEWISH STANDARD WINTER 2017

Jewish Standard S-2
 Jewish Standard S-3

Themes in Jewish lifecycle events

Among the myriad Jewish ceremonies and
rituals marking birth, coming of age, and
coming together in partnership, several
themes emerge.
Covenant
Brit milah, usually translated as the cove-
nant of circumcision, indicates not a special
covenant but the ceremony in which a male
child is physically imprinted with circum-
cision as a sign of Gods covenant with the
Jewish people. This covenant was made first
with Abraham (and, many would say, with
Sarah, too), renewed by every generation
of Jews. It is reflected through Gods ongo-
ing redemptive relationship with us; obser-
vance of the mitzvot, or commandments
both the obligations between us and God
and those between us and other peopleis
our part of this covenantal relationship.
The theme of covenant is reflected differ-
ently in various lifecycle ceremonies. For
example, bar/bat mitzvah marks a young
persons reaching the age of responsibility
in this covenantal system. The wedding cer-
emony resonates with images of both inter-
personal covenant and the divine-human
relationship. In fact, the rich textual tradi-
tion of depicting the Jewish peoples cove-
nant with God as a relationship of beloveds
provides another layer of meaning for the
Jewish wedding ritual.
The Role of Community
Traditional Jewish lifecycle rituals may
be focused on the individual, but they are
inherently public rather than private. (This
is one concern that critics of ritual innova-
tion raise: Many events, such as weaning TABLE OF CONTENTS
and menopause, are focused on the indi-
Wedding thanksgiving.................................................4
vidual and the body, inherently individual
Party was decorated with high-energy, fun and love
rather than communal, and thus not neces-
sarily appropriate for the same kind of focus Its a girl!..........................................................................6
in Jewish practice.) A baby is welcomed not Welcoming the new daughter with a simchat bat
just into a family but into a covenantal com-
munity, whose lineage is traced back to the Its a boy!......................................................................... 8
first Jews. A bar or bat mitzvah child cele- A sons brit for a first-time father
brates this transition with acts of participa-
tion in congregational life. An integral part Website makes buying group gifts a snap.............. 11
of a couples wedding ceremony is the reci- Bat mitzvah joy!............................................................12
tation of the sheva berakhot, the traditional
MTV-themed bat mitzvah celebrates family
seven blessings, which requires a quorum
of 10, a minyan. Bar Mitzvah joy!............................................................13
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An exciting moment. Rena
Resnick and Elan Sherman at
the badeken, the ceremony
where the groom veils
the bride just prior to the
wedding ceremony.
Party was decorated with high-energy, fun and love
Heidi Mae Bratt
S
ometimes the best is saved for last.
Elan Shermans subscription to an online Jew-
ish matchmaking website was about to expire
when the very last match, a flame-haired, effer-
vescent, and lovely young woman named Rena
Resnick, popped into his inbox.
The two Bergen County-bred millennials discovered
they had been circling in the same orbit, living across
the street from one another on Manhattans Upper West
Side and attending the same synagogue, but never had
met. They soon realized they had even more in common:
shared values, a joie de vivre, warm families, a deep con-
nection to Judaism, and an even deeper affection and con-
nection to each other.
Elan, 26, proposed to Rena, 28, from atop the
W edd
picturesque and romantic rooftop of 230 Fifth Avenue in
Manhattan. It was Purim 2016. The couple had gone there
after hearing Megillah reading earlier that evening. Elan
orchestrated a surprise proposal to Rena that had all the
elements of fun, friends and family. Whats more, their
Purim seudah, the traditional holiday meal scheduled for
the next day, which Rena had organized, unbeknownst to
her, wound up doubling as their lchaim, a party to con-
gratulate the newly engaged couple.
Their wedding was held on Wednesday, Nov. 23, 2016.
It ushered in the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. Elan
wanted that day.
I thought it was a great way to start the holiday, Elan
said.
The wedding took place at Temple Emanu-El in Closter,
and was catered by Northern Valley Affairs, the in-house
caterers. There were more than 300 people who attended.
Rena said they chose the venue because of its Bergen
County location to make it easier for guests on the eve
on the holiday weekend, and because of its gorgeous set-
ting. They also appreciated the care with which owner,
Les Friedman, and manager, Marty Maged, took with their
event.
But most importantly, they wanted to be married in a
synagogue.
The biggest part was the shul, Elan said. We are very
shul-centered people. So that was very important.
Rena is the eldest daughter of Rabbi Paul and Martha
Resnick of Teaneck. Rabbi Resnick was the long-time
director of Camp Ramah in the Berkshires. Martha is
a teacher at Solomon Schechter Day School of Bergen
County. Elan is the youngest son of Cantor Philip Sher-
man, a popular mohel, and the cantor at Congregation
Shearith Israel, the Spanish & Portuguese Synagogue in

dding thanksgiving
The dancing never stopped at the wedding.
Manhattan, and Naomi Freistat, a podiatrist.
They were flanked by their families to include, Renas siblings, Joey and
his fianc, Alana Pellerito; and sister, Dori; and Elans siblings, brother,
Reuven and his wife Mollie Sherman; and sister, Nina and her husband,
Daniel Green, who came in from Israel; Elans step-mother, Andrea Raab
Sherman, a writer; and his step-father, Sam Gold, a dentist.
We wanted our families to be a huge part of it, Rena said.
And, I wanted my Dad to marry us, she added.
In planning the wedding, Rena said, we were thinking of how we wanted
it to be remembered and described. We went for the words elegant, very
loving, and high-energy.
Added Elan, the key word was ruach, the Hebrew word for spirit.
That wedding hit all the high notes.
In fact, there was so much ruach in the room that when the couple first
came out to the dance floor for first simcha dance, the band, Neshoma
Orchestra, played a set for more than an hour.
Were a whimsical and fun couple so we just wanted everyone to have
a great time, Elan said.
Their wedding was also filled with many meaningful touches.
Elans great-uncle, Dr. Joseph Schectman, died three weeks before the
PHOTOS BY TO THE M OON NYC BY D ANIE L SILBE R T
wedding. He was like a grandfather.
The couple included his tallit as part of the
chuppah.
There was also a shout-out to Camp Ramah,
where Rena grew up. Camp friends donned
T-shirts and other shtick while working up a
sweat as they danced.
Now the couple, who live in Tenafly, are
settling into married life. Elan, a gradu-
ate of Rutgers University, works as a con-
struction estimator for a medical con-
tractor. Rena, a graduate of the University
of Maryland, is studying public policy at Rutgers.
And while they are forging their young married life
together, memories of the wedding are very fresh, as are their feel-
ings of gratitude.
We had such a wonderful time, said the couple. It was really
such an amazing wedding. We just wanted to thank our collective
parents for all their effort, and to express our appreciation for giv-
ing us such a great wedding.
 Jewish Standard S-6

Its a girl! blessing over the Torah reading. If she

hasnt done this already, the mother can
recite Birkat haGomel at her daughters
Recitation of prayers, poems, and
other readings by honored guests.
Blessings of gratitude from the babys

Welcoming the new daughter with a simchat bat welcome ceremony.

deBRa nUSSBaUM CoHen note the presence of honored people in
attendance rabbis, special friends and
Prayers and readings related to parent-
ing and the baby recited by the parents.
A ritual welcoming this new daughter
into the covenant or celebrating her mem-
parents. The blessing known as she-
hecheyanu is often recited when an indi-
vidual or family reaches a new occasion.
Some might say this at the moment of their
daughters birth. The traditional blessing

W
hether you call it a brit bat, a
simchat bat, or something else,
here are some key features of
ceremonies celebrating the
arrival of a new daughter.
A song. Singing together is a power-
ful way to create a sense of holy space,
to distinguish the time of the ceremony
from that which preceded it, and to bring
everyone together in fellowship. Someone
leads people in a Jewish traditional word-
less tune, called a niggun, which is easy for
people to join in, or a contemporary Jew-
ish or meaningful secular song.
An introduction welcoming every-
one to the joyous occasion. This is a time
to outline what guests should expect and
relatives, and anyone else who has had a
notable role in the babys first weeks of life.
Hebrew welcome. The Hebrew words
Brucha ha-baah bshem Adonai Wel- stand-in for a ritual bath), or washing her
come in the name of the Creator, are
often recited by the person leading the
welcoming ceremony, or by all the assem-
bled guests, to greet the baby as she is car-
ried into the room.
Blessings of thanksgiving by the babys
parents. Birkat haGomel, the prayer of
thanksgiving for having come through
a potentially life-threatening passage, is
traditionally said by a woman after child-
birth. It is customarily said the first Shab-
bat that the mother has gone to synagogue
after the baby is born, after reciting the
bership in it. This might involve wrapping
her in a tallit (prayer shawl), lighting can-
dles, immersing her in a mini-mikveh (a
when something wonderful happens to an
hands and feet.
Explanation of the babys names, and
recitation of formal naming blessings giv-
ing her Jewish (Hebrew or Yiddish) names.
If relevant, this is a good time for grand-
parents and aunts and uncles, as well as
parents, to speak about the wonderful
qualities possessed by the people after
whom the baby is being named.
Presenting gifts to the baby, particularly
Jewishly-meaningful ones like a tzedakah
box, kiddush cup, or candlesticksby her
parents, older siblings, or beloved relatives.
ending with the words hatov vhameitiv
(the One who is good and renders good-
ness) is said upon hearing good news, or
individual or to the community. Either or
both of these, or other closing prayers, are
often included at the end of the ceremony.
Hamotzi, the blessing over bread (usu-
ally challah) is usually recited to begin the
festive meal that follows the ceremony.
Many families dip the challah into honey
(a similar custom is followed by many new-
lyweds during their first year of marriage)
to set apart this sweet day.
This article originally appeared in Kveller.com,
and is reprinted here with permission.

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 Jewish Standard S-7

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Its a boy!
A sons brit for a first-time father
Rabbi Levi Welton
I
always thought Rabbi was an
important title, but I now realize that
Daddy is even better. As a brand new
father to a beautiful baby boy, I am
now experiencing first-hand the uncondi-
tional love that so many parents told me
about. My wife and I joke that the movie
title for our new lives ought to be Sleep-
less in Seattle, but that doesnt stop us
from excitedly cooing to our newborn as
we cuddle together under warm, cozy
blankets. Usually, when a young parent
shares similar feelings with me, I respond
in rabbinic fashion: And now its time to
translate these beautiful emotions of love
into your babys beautiful Jewish rite of
passage. And yet, I have to confess that
when it came to my own son I was dread-
ing the circumcision day.
It wasnt that I was worried about the
circumcision itself. After all, an experi-
enced mohel is akin to having an expe-
rienced surgeon who only specializes in
that one specific technique. And it wasnt
that I was worried about doing the pro-
cedure outside of a hospital setting. After
all, I know many people that would pre-
fer having their medical procedures done
in the comfort of their own homes and
surrounded by friends and loved ones.
Rather, I was dreading the circumcision
because I didnt want to see my son cry.
Hailing from the San Francisco Bay Area,
I am quite familiar with the cries of barba-
rism and genital mutilation from activ-
ists who oppose circumcision on infants.
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Dovid Yisroel at the brit.
And you know what? I fully understand
them. Imagining my adorable and defense-
less, 8-day old baby boy screaming in pain
at a ceremony orchestrated by the father
whos supposed to protect him made my
skin crawl. And although, I know that the
Jewish Standard S-8
pain involved is fleeting and that the World
Health Organization has stated there is
proven health benefits for circumcision, I
needed to see my sons brit ceremony as
something more than just an over-glorified
surgical procedure.
And thats when I realized something.
According to the Code of Jewish Law (Shul-
chan Aruch 265:1), there are two blessings
made during the brit ceremony. The mohel
makes the blessing on the command-
ment of circumcision, whereas the parent
makes the blessing on entering our child
into the covenant of Abraham our father.
In other words, this Jewish rite of passage
is about more than just removing some
foreskin (which has medical benefits of its
own). Its about celebrating the connection
of our brand new baby to the historic val-
ues and teachings of our ancestors. After
all, Abraham is known more for his values
of hospitality, kindness, discipline, brav-
ery, foresight, and love than he is for being
the first Jew to have a circumcision.
I recall being invited to see the Broad-
way play of my friend Yisrael Campbell
See Its a boy page 10
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 Jewish Standard S-10

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Its a boy
Cantor from page 8 spiritual path and character (Talmud Berachot 7b). And I

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Lieberstein how he
0002441714-01.qxd 10/15/08 5:09 PM Page 1 discovered his spiritual path to Judaism. I recall
the countless times Ive sat with parents discussing the
he was connected to a higher power and a higher purpose
(Talmud Yevamot 43b).
Certified Cantor with choices of Jewish names to give to their son at the brit I kept this in mind as I woke up the morning of our sons
12+ years of pulpit MAGAZINE
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BAR & BAT MITZVAH 0002441714-01 Rabbi Yossi Katz. We gathered for the morning prayers in
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Rabbi Levi Welton is the former rabbi of The Hampton
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Bat mitzvah joy!
MTV-themed bat mitzvah celebrates family
Heidi Mae Bratt
W
hat happens when t wo
Emmy-award winning for-
mer broadcast journalists
shepherd their 13-year-old
daughter into Jewish womanhood? A
resulting bat mitzvah that is creatively
and cleverly produced, and multi-
media rich.
The Lasky family of Short Hills
chose as its theme, MTV. While par-
ents, Scott Lasky and Shelly Carey
Lasky can remember the 1980s tele-
vision phenomenon that changed the
face of music marketing, the M in the
MTV also stood for Morgan TV to cel-
ebrate their bat mitzvah daughter.
The whole MTV certainly played
with my generation, but it also reso-
nated with the kids, said Scott Lasky,
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who spent much of his career as a
sports broadcaster for some of the
major networks, and now is the chief
creative officer and managing partner
of Rooftop2 Productions, a full-scale
media production company.
We wanted to take our guests on a
journey and express our gratitude to
our friends and family, Mr. Lasky said.
The venue for the bat mitzvah, which
took place in September, was the New
Jersey Center for Science, Technology
and Mathematics (STEM) on the cam-
pus of Kean University in Union.
A hidden gem, said Mr. Lasky.
Another emotional and meaningful
event took place months earlier.
For her mitzvah project, Shelly
Lasky took her daughter to Guate-
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Jewish Standard S-12
trip was through Orphans Heart, a
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and care to children through interna-
tional missions and child sponsorship.
Mrs. Lasky and Morgan spent a few
days playing with the babies, feeding
them, and giving them attention. They
wound up sponsoring one 2-year-old
girl, who they will support until she is
18 years old.
It was a very moving and eye-open-
ing experience for Morgan.
As Morgan, an 8th grader at Mill-
burn Middle School, had studied with
a Hebrew school tutor, her bat mitzvah
started with a service that preceded
the party.
Once the party began, said Mr. Lasky,
it moved in a way that expressed the
familys gratitude toward their family
See bat mitzvah page 14 Shelly and Scott Lasky with Morgan and Garrett.
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Bar Mitzvah joy!
Bringing the event to grandmother
Heidi Mae Bratt
W
hen it comes to Jewish lifecycle events, for
the Greenbaum family, it is family first. So
there was no question that the family of
Noah Greenbaum wouldnt make sure and
make it easy for his beloved 89-year-old grandmother
Greta Greenbaum to be at his side when he stepped
through the portal into Jewish manhood.
Continuing in a family tradition, Noah celebrated
his bar mitzvah in the Garfinkle Chapel at Daughters
of Miriam Center/The Gallen Institute in Clifton, just
a few years after his brother Benjamin, now a Frisch
freshman, stood at the same bimah.
On the Thursday following Noahs Hebrew birth-
day, the family went to Daughters of Miriam Center/
The Gallen Institutes synagogue for Noah to read from
the Torah, and have his grandmother present.
The tradition is as soon as you can do a mitzvah,
you do it, said Eli Greenbaum, Noahs father, who
along with Noahs mother, Risa and brother, Benjamin,
joined in the Shacharit service.
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Jewish Standard S-13
Having Grandma Greta there is everything to us,
said Mr. Greenbaum, whose family lives in Fair Lawn.
She is the matriarch of the family. Everything tradi-
tional we have is sourced from her.
Noah agreed wholeheartedly.
It felt special because I dont see her often enough
and having my bar mitzvah with her felt, I just cant
put it into words, just to see her so happy, said Noah.
I even started to tear up when I saw how emotional
she was.
Marking the time when a boy becomes a man, a bar
mitzvah is deeply meaningful to a family, a time to joy-
ously come together. Standing next to Rabbi Moshe Mir-
sky, the rabbi of the Daughters of Miriam synagogue,
chanting a portion of the Torah with confidence.
Noah and his family chose to come to Daughters of
Miriam Center/The Gallen Institutes synagogue, within
steps of his grandmothers apartment, so that she
could share, and be present at this important event.
With her limited mobility in a wheelchair, grand-
mother Greta has lived at the independent living
From left, Noah, his father Eli, his mother Risa, and his
See bar mitzvah page 14
brother Benjamin Greenbaum surrounding Grandma Greta.
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Bat Mitzvah
from page 12
and friends.
We are always building to a cre-
scendo, trying to create an emo-
tional experience. That was the
greatest challenge, Mr. Lasky said.
There was plenty of action. Danc-
ers wore MTV-branded shirts. Mor-
gans brother, Garrett, 11, helped to
lead some of the activities. During
the candle lighting ceremony, the
celebrants who lit candles were fea-
tured on an old-fashioned television
and an appropriate song was played.
The centerpiece of the bat mitz-
vah was the Lega-tree created to
honor each of the 180 guests who
attended the bat mitzvah, and call
out the special few who had made
a lasting impact on Morgan and her
family. Thus was the Lega-tree,
which celebrated everyone, and
helped to make everyone a part
of the event, and at the same time
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acknowledged the people who have Bar Mitzvah the young bar mitzvah man, Noah, as well as
from page 13 on his familys participation in this milestone
had a special impact on her life.
Miriam Apartments II for nearly five years. She event. Noahs father and brother joined in the
Its all really about family, said
is able to participate in events that take place at morning services by reciting prayers, while his
Mr. Lasky. We felt so much love
her home base in the Esther and Sam Schwartz mother and grandmother joined in the congre-
in that room and were wanted to
Building or at the Daughters of Miriam Center/ gational portion of the prayers. At the comple-
honor everyone and especial the
The Gallen Institutes main building. tion of his portion of the services, Noah was
most important people. A special
The Garfinkle Chapel at the Center was a showered with candy thrown with wishes for a
honor went out to Aunt Eileen, who
naturally warm, inviting and accessible venue sweet and joyful adult life.
was known as Bubbie and a Holo-
GRAND
for the Greenbaum family, with its colorful wall It is such an honor for all of us here at the
caust survivor. There was Aunt Lisa
of stained glass biblical scenes brightening the center when a young man who is just starting his
and Uncle Gary, who were there for
wooden walls and pews. journey into adulthood joins us here, with the
the family and helped the Laskys
In addition, the chapel accommodates the elders of the community, to participate in one
launch their business. There were
needs of the elderly, whether they are wheel- of the most meaningful rituals that bind us from
old friends, like Mr. Laskys best
chair bound or visually impaired. A recon- generation to generation, said Rabbi Mirsky.
friend, Rob, and family friends,
figuration of the bimah allows for wheelchair Family, friends and congregation members
Howie Kohn. And there were new
accessibility, while a two-level readers table then participated in the ritual kiddush, or
friends like the Wagner family,
with handrails and an enhanced lighting sys- drinking of a symbolic portion of wine, before
whose daughter Emily found Mr.
tem allows the residents to participate in ser- gathering together for a celebratory brunch
Laskys lost wedding ring when
vices. Even when entering the chapel, resi- sponsored by the Greenbaum family. Wishing
they were on a cruise.
dents can touch one of two mezuzahs, one at Noah mazel tov on behalf of Daughters of Mir-
The Lega-tree was the crescendo,
the traditional height on the entrance door or iam Centers staff, board and administration,
Mr. Lasky said.
a second one which is positioned lower and is Rabbi Mirsky led the kiddush prayer and wel-
Said Morgan of her MTV bat mitz-
easily reached from a wheelchair. comed Noah to taking his place among his fel-
vah, It was a night I will definitely
In this intimate setting, the focus was on low Jewish men.
never forget for the rest of my life.
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