ENG1020 Ch11 PDF

CHAPTER
11 Illustration: Making
Yourself Clear
In this chapter you will learn how to:

11.1 Use illustration as a writing strategy.
11.2 Select appropriate examples for your illustration.
11.3 Determine the best number of examples to use.
11.4 Organize the examples of your illustration.
11.5 Write so that your illustration is ethical.
11.6 Prewrite, plan, draft, and revise your illustration.
Ariel Skelley/Corbis
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190
Strategies for Successful Writing: A Rhetoric, Research Guide, Reader, and Handbook, Tenth Edition, by James A. Reinking and Robert von der Osten.
Published by Longman. Copyright 2014 by Pearson Education, Inc.
It doesnt pay to fight City Hall. For example, my friend Josie . . .
Many intelligent people lack common sense. Take Dr. Brandon . . .
Predicting the weather is far from an exact science. Two winters ago, a surprise
snowstorm . . .
People often use examples (illustrations) to clarify general statements.

Ordinary conversations teem with for example, . . . and for instance, . . . ,
11.1
often in response to a puzzled look. A local character, Hank Cassidy, might serve
as the perfect example of a good old boy, or Chicagos Water Tower Place illus- Use illustration as a
writing strategy.
trates a vertical shopping mall. But illustration is not limited to concrete items.
Teachers, researchers, and writers often present an abstract principle or natural
law, then supply concrete examples that bring it down to earth. An economics
instructor might illustrate compound interest by an example showing how much
$100 that is earning five percent interest would appreciate in 10 years. Exam-
ples can also persuade, as when advertisers trot out typical satisfied users of their
products to induce us to buy.
Many classroom and job related-writing projects benefit from illustration.
A paper for a management class can demonstrate effective management
techniques by using examples of successful managers.
A political science paper defining democracy would benefit from
examples of several different types of democratic government.
A literature paper on irony would want to use examples from stories and
poems.
A high school principal writing for a larger counseling staff would use
examples of students who needed help and couldnt get it.
A nurse who advocates for a new method for distributing medication
would provide examples of where the current system failed patients.
A marketing professional arguing for an increased use of social media
would use examples of companies that used social media successfully.
Just like you, readers respond to concrete, vivid examples. The concrete is always
easier to grasp than the abstract, and examples add flavor and clarity to what
might otherwise be flat and vague.
Selecting Appropriate Examples

Make sure that your examples stay on target; that is, that they actually support your 11.2
general statement and do not veer off into an intriguing side issue. For instance, Select appropriate
if youre making the point that the lyrics in a rock groups latest album are not examples for your
in good taste, dont inject comments on the fast lifestyle of one of its members. illustration.
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191
192 CHAPTER 11 Illustration: Making Yourself Clear
Instead, provide examples of lyrics that support your claim, chosen from different
songs in the album to head off objections that your examples arent representative.
Watch the Animation Furthermore, see that your examples display all the chief features of whatever
on Selecting Examples youre illustrating. Dont offer a country as an example of a democracy if, despite an
election, there is only one party on the ballot and the results are all rigged. Consider
the following appropriate student example of someone suffering from depression.
Carl wasnt just sad. Nothing really bad had happened in his life. But he had
lost all interest in his past favorite activities. His skateboard had been discarded in a
corner of his room. He no longer bothered to play his video games. Simple things
like getting tickets to a rock concert seemed to be too much effort for him. Some
days he stayed in bed and missed his classes. Often he irritably snapped at anyone
who talked with him. Friends could easily see the difference in him when he shuf-
fled to the dining room, his head down. Without a doubt, Carl was depressed.
This short example meets many of the key characteristics of depression: a

lack of interest in normal activities, a sense that ordinary things arent worth the
effort, an inability to attend to ordinary responsibilities, and irritability.
Number of Examples
11.3 How many examples will you need? One long one, several fairly brief ones, or a
large number of very short ones? Look to your topic for the answer.
Determine the best
number of examples to One Long Example: Topics where traits are combined in a single object
use.
The qualities of a successful nurse
The challenges of running a small business
The excitement of participating in a political campaign.
Several Examples: Historical trends or broader, more general claims
To show that parents have been raising children more permissively over
the last half century, a minimum of three examples are called for: one fam-
ily from 1955, a second from about 1985, and another from the present.
To demonstrate the different attitudes of Chinese and American students
towards school work, examples would need to include several different
children from each culture.
A Large Series of Examples: Very general or very important claims
To demonstrate that slang arises from many subcultures, examples of
many slang words and cultures would be required.
To demonstrate that individuals abuse Medicare, a writer would need to use
many examples to avoid the impression that the practice is not widespread.
EXERCISE
1. Choose one of the following topic sentences. Select an

appropriate example and write the rest of the paragraph.
a. Sometimes a minor incident drastically changes a persons life.

b. _______s name exactly suits (her/his) personality.
c. I still get embarrassed when I remember_______.
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Organizing the Examples 193
d. Not all education goes on in the classroom.

e. I learned the value of _______ the hard way.
2. Explain why you would use one extended illustration, several shorter ones, or a
whole series of examples to develop each of the following statements. Suggest
appropriate illustrations.
a. Many parents I know think for their children.

b. The hamburger isnt what it used to be.
c. The ideal pet is small, quiet, and affectionate.
d. Different college students view their responsibilities differently.
e. The hotels in Gotham City run the gamut from sumptuous to seedy.
f. Modern English includes any number of words taken directly from foreign
languages.
Organizing the Examples

Your organizational strategy will depend on your topic and the number of examples. 11.4
A single extended example Organize the examples of
your illustration.
Often follows a narrative, following events in a time sequence such as the
busy workday of a small business owner.
Provides the details spatially or in order of importance, as in an account
of the damage that can be done by a tornado.
Multiple examples that try to show degrees of something or change.
Often in order from least to most or the reverse. Types of sales clerks may
go from an example of a hostile clerk, to a pleasant one, to a highly con-
siderate and helpful person.
Trends offer examples in time. How phones get smarter may go from early
rotary dials, to touch phones with Caller ID, to todays smart phones.
A large number of examples
May be grouped in categories that are arranged in order, such that slang
might be organized by words that originate from music, surfing, or teenagers.
May also be organized by time or by degrees of a quality, as in a paper on
the changing ways we work may include multiple examples of different
kinds of workers from different time periods.
Sometimes any arrangement will work equally well. Suppose youre showing
that Americans are taking various precautions to ward off heart attacks. Although
you might move from a person who exercises to one who diets and finally to one
who practices relaxation techniques, no special order is preferable.
Large numbers of examples might first be grouped into categories and the
categories then arranged in a suitable order. For example, the expressions from
the world of gambling could be grouped according to types of gambling: cards,
dice, horse racing, and the like. Depending upon the specific categories, one
arrangement may or may not be preferable to another.
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Ethical Issues
11.5 In writing an illustration, we try to show readers something truthful about our
understanding of the world. They wouldnt read what weve written if they sus-
Write so that your
pected we were unusually careless in our thinking or knew we were trying to
illustration is ethical.
deceive them. Deception may stem from prejudice, which causes people to dis-
tort examples. For instance, parents trying to talk their teenager out of a career
in acting will probably cite only examples of failed or struggling performers who
have miserable lives, and they will fail to mention many successful performers.
Such a distortion isnt fair to the acting profession or the teenager. Some distor-
tions can be outright lies. In the past debate about welfare, some commentators
wrote about people who lived like millionaires while on welfare. It turned out
the examples were falsified, and no real instances of such massive abuse could
be found. To avoid ethical pitfalls, ask and answer the following questions:
Am I giving adequate thought to the point Ill make and the examples
Ill use?
Are the examples supporting my point truthful, or are they slanted to de-
ceive the reader?
Could my illustrations have harmful consequences? Do they stereotype
an individual or group? Do they harm someones reputation unjustly?
Will my examples promote desirable or undesirable behavior?
Writing an Illustration
11.6 Assertions, unfamiliar topics, abstract principles, natural lawsas weve seen,
all of these can form the foundation for your paper. If you have a choice,
Prewrite, plan, draft, and
you should experience little difficulty finding something suitable. After all,
revise your illustration.
youve observed and experienced many thingsfor example, how people
Watch the Animation can be TV junkies and the ways students manage the stresses of college life.
on Writing an
Illustration
As always, the strategies in Chapter 3 can help generate some possibilities,
along with these strategies.
Prewiting for the Illustration

To prewrite for your illustration:
FINDING YOUR TOPIC Keep a journal noticing basic patterns or trends you have observed
or read about.
Brainstorm a list of observations you have made about the world.
Write down some main points you want to make.
Think about what impact you would want your paper to have on
readers.
Decide if you need one extended example or multiple examples.
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Writing an Illustration 195
Once you have your topic, you can easily develop your illustration.
Brainstorm a list of examples. DEVELOPING YOUR

Brainstorm supporting details for each example.
ILLUSTRATION
Decide which examples and details would be best for your audience.
Review and add examples and details as necessary.
Create a chart or use branching as below.
Once youve picked your topic, ask yourself, What example(s) will work
best with my audience? Then brainstorm each one for supporting details. Use a
chart patterned after the one below to help you.
Example 1 Example 2 Example 3

First supporting detail First supporting detail First supporting detail
Second supporting detail Second supporting detail Second supporting detail
Brainstorming on the difficulty of running a small store.
Arriving early to check

inventory
Making certain cash is
Opening available
Arranging displays,
stocking shelves
Assisting customers
Running a A Days Taking deliveries
Small Store Work Restocking shelves
Maintaining security
Cleaning store
Counting out cash and
Closing checking balance
Securing premises
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Drafting the Illustration

A thesis statement for an illustration usually states the main point that the rest of
the essay demonstrates by example and sometimes adds to the importance the
illustration has for readers. The original topic selection will give you a clue for
your thesis.
Introduce topic and give the reader a reason to read paper.

Possibly create an arresting or unexpected statement.
Americans work harder than employees of any
Introduction other country.
Or indicate the stake a reader has in the essay. Every
student can learn from those who have been successful.
Present the examples that achieve your purpose.

Use an order for examples that fit your topic.
Often there are separate paragraphs for each example.
Body An essay on how phones got smarter might have a
paragraph for each phone type you discuss.
Summarize the examples and re-emphasize the main point.

Or issue a warning or challenge, as might follow from a
paper on binge drinking.
Conclusion Or offer a hope or recommendation, as in a paper on how
to become the employee of the future.
Or discuss broader implications, as in a paper on how
people have thrown off repressive governments.
Revising the Illustration

Think about the following suggestions and questions as well as the general
guidelines in Chapter 4 as you revise your paper.
What idea am I trying to present to my reader? Have I chosen the exam-
ples that best demonstrate that idea?
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What additional examples or details could make my paper more engaging

for my reader?
What details or choice phrase could make my examples more
interesting?
Do any examples or details fail to fit my main point and distract from the
paper and so should be cut?
How could I organize my paper with transitions or arrange the order of
examples that would make my paper easier to read?
Where could I better focus or develop my paragraphs around key
examples?
Is my paper ethical, with honest examples that are fairly selected?
SAMPLE
STUDENT ESSAY OF ILLUSTRATION
If It Is Worth Doing. . . .
Janice Carlton
Offers main point of
1 Everyone should keep a slogan in his or her back pocket to pull out illustration and clarifies
at difficult times. Mine may seem a bit ridiculous, but I have found it to that claim. Indicates
reason idea is important
be a life saver: If it is worth doing, it is worth doing badly. This slogan
turns my parents phraseIf it is worth doing, it is worth doing well
completely upside down. To be clear, I am not suggesting that anyone
should deliberately do things badly. No one wants to be operated on
by a surgeon whose hand shakes. Hopefully, accountants know their
subject and offer sound advice. Still, some activities are so worth doing
that the fact that we might do them badly is no reason not to take up the
task. Far too often we are tempted to give up art because our paintings
are bad, avoid writing because our spelling is poor, or avoid helping a
friend build a pole barn because we might make mistakes. My slogan Offers a clear thesis in
last sentence
reminds me that my possible failure is no reason to avoid a worthwhile
project.
2 Consider singing for a moment. Singing can be tremendous fun. Offers first example
A good song can lift the heart. Singing with others can offer a delight- Indicates importance of
ful sense of sharing. My only problem is that I have a terrible voice. It singing to reader
cracks, soars when it should sink, and rises when it should drop. Usually,
I hit the right pitch, but sometimes I have to wiggle into it as though it
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Continued from previous page

were a pair of excessively tight jeans. My more musically gifted friends
usually cringe when they hear me sing and mutter something under their
breath about the tone deaf. Should I stop singing just because I do it
badly? To me, I sound like a great rock singer, at least when I sing in the
shower. Sometimes I sing while I walk from class to class, and I feel, as a
result, that I am in an exciting musical. I can even sing with my friends,
who only insist that I sing a little more quietly and try, try, try to stay on
tune. Probably it would be unfair of me to log in hours at a karaoke bar,
and I usually keep from singing around those who tend to stuff their fin-
Ends by tying example to gers in their ears. But with some reasonable precautions, the fact that I
main point
sing badly should not prevent me from enjoying the obvious pleasures of
singing.
Offers second example 3 Writing poetry is another practice that is worth doing even if we
do it badly. What makes poetry worth writing? Writing poetry involves
taking time out of the rush of life to reflect on what youre feeling, to per-
ceive more clearly, to hunt for the right word. When it works, you feel like
everything in your life has come together.
As I raced through the forest,
I stopped to smell a flower,
a violet, perhaps, a purple pause
Between home and grandmothers house.
The flower didnt have any smell,
But that didnt matter any.
For a moment, I contemplated
The breath of a flower,
And avoided, in the process,
Meeting any unexpected wolves.
Provides detail to This poem isnt very good, I admit. No one would want to publish it. Most
illustrate point
readers may not understand how, feeling like Little Red Riding Hood,
I rush from place to place to avoid meeting stray wolves. None of that is
the point. When writing the poem, I felt in touch with my life while savor-
Ends by tying example to ing a creative joy. There is no reason to let anything get in the way of
main point such a delight, not even the poor quality of the resulting poem.
4 Of course, it is easy to sing in the shower and write poetry no one
Offers a third example ever sees, even if the results, to put it mildly, stink. What about where
that expands the point by
others are involved? Imagine my predicament when my big brother
extending consequences
called and asked me if I would help him put up a pole barn. Me,
Ipleaded, Im all thumbs. And I meant it, but somehow he needed
my help, so despite my complete lack of construction experience,
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Ichanted my mantra three times and said yes. For a day I held up Uses narrative
organization
beams, sawed boards (sometimes off the measured line), and ham-
mered in nails (bending more than a few). But I did help my brother.
He said that he couldnt have done it without me; and while he prob-
ably could have built the barn without me, it would have been harder
for him. Besides, working side by side for a day, we got to reconnect in Ends by detailing benefit
ways that I hadnt thought possible. I also learned some construction
skills. Without being willing to help badly, I would have missed a tre-
mendous opportunity.
5 There are times when doing something badly is significantly better Offers a fourth example
that is the most serious
than doing nothing at all. Our local newspaper featured a story about a
yet in narrative
hiker who was miles from anywhere on the trail when he came across
another hiker who was choking on his lunch. What could he do? He
couldnt run for help. He was out of his cell phone region. And he didnt
know CPR. What he did know was that the man in front of him was
starting to turn blue. He pounded the man on the back, but that didnt
work. Finally, in desperation he pushed down underneath the mans
rib cage. The pressure popped something out of his windpipe and he
started breathing again. The point of the article was the importance of
learning CPR, the Heimlich maneuver, and other lifesaving skills. The
hiker, of course, knew none of those skills and could have done tremen-
dous damage, perhaps breaking the victims ribs. Clearly, it would be
worthwhile to be expert at lifesaving skills. But what should the hiker
have done? If he had just stood there paralyzed by his lack of expertise, Ends with important
consequence of principle
the man would have choked to death. Fortunately, he seems to have be-
lieved in my slogan and did what was worth doing, saving a life, even
if he did it badly.
6 There are lots of pressure in our culture to leave it to the experts.
We can listen to CDs instead of sing ourselves. We can call towing ser-
vices that are glad to change our flats for us. We can watch soccer in-
stead of play it. With so many skilled people, it is easy to be embarrassed Conclusion. Reiterates
general point
by our own lack of expertise and abandon everything except what we
do well. Unfortunately, our lives would be significantly poorer for such a
surrender. Instead, we would be better off adapting the adage that if it Challenges the reader
is worth doing, it is worth doing badly and step up to the plate at a soft-
ball game, grab a sketch pad and draw what we see, write a poem, sing,
cook a meal for a friend. In the end, we have nothing to lose but our
false pride.
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Discussion Questions
1. What is the writer trying to illustrate?
2. How is this particular illustration developed?
3. Why did the writer include a poem in her essay?
4. What does the paragraph on the use of CPR add to the essay?
5. In the last paragraph, why does the writer use the pronoun we?
Suggestions for Writing

Use one of the following ideas or another that your instructor approves for your illustration
essay. Select appropriate examples, determine how many you will use, and decide how you will
organize them.
1. I dont have enough time is a common complaint of many people today.

2. Many people appear obsessed with exercise (or diet).
3. Incivility has become quite common in public places.
4. New communication technologies help keep friends in close touch.
5. Dedication is the secret of success for many athletes (or use any other field or
occupation).
6. Video games can take over peoples lives.
7. Sometimes actions can have unintended consequences.
8. Many intelligent people lack common sense.
9. Sleep deprivation is causing problems for many young people.
10. Talk show hosts often leave much to be desired (or stimulate listeners to think).
11. Doing your own thing does not always work out for the best.
12. Not to decide is to decide.
13. Todays college student is __________ .
14. Sometimes we need to take risks.
15. Wanting more than we need can be destructive.
16. Many people become obsessed with appearance.
STEPPING UP TO SYNTHESIS
When we write an illustration paper, we dont always draw
our examples from personal experience. As we reflect on a
topic, we may talk with other people and read various source
materials to broaden our understanding. We explore differ-
ing perspectives and determine the connections between
them en route to arriving at our own views and insights.
Prewriting for Synthesis Take, for instance, the topic of racism in America.
The Scholarship Jacket, Mommas Encounter, and I Have a Dream
(in The Reader) offer poignant illustrations of how racism affects peoples
personal lives. Reading these essays, drawing upon your own observations,
andperhaps questioning other students could lead you to an important
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insight: for example, that racism can have personal effects that are very
different from the more widely discussed kinds of institutional discrimina-
tion. You might then synthesize others illustrations and your own to produce
a paper that presents this insight.
Critically Evaluating Your Sources Sometimes illustrations dont reflect reality.

An author trying to make the point that many college students are irresponsible
might offer examples of students who skip classes, fail to hand in assignments,
and party constantly. These examples, however, overlook the many students
who hold part-time jobs while taking a full load of classes, participate in profes-
sional organizations, and function successfully as spouses, and even parents,
while earning good grades. Because published material can paint an inaccu-
rate picture, develop the habit of judging the examples you read in the light of
what your knowledge, further investigation, and other sources reveal. Critical
thinking is one of the most important skills a writer can cultivate.
Planning and Drafting Your Synthesis Whether you draw on material from in-
formal resources, conversations, or notes from reading, the process for plan-
ning and drafting your synthesis follows a familiar pattern. Determine how
many examples you will use to illustrate your point. Check to be sure those
points fit. Determine an appropriate order for them and build paragraphs
around your key point. For example, if you were trying to illustrate how video
games interfere with studying, you might start a paragraph with data from a
source followed by your own personal observations. Sometimes in represent-
ing conflicting viewpoints, you may want to organize the paper based on those
viewpoints leading to the position you support the most. You will need to clearly
shift any changes in the point you want to make with effective transitions.
Getting Started
1. Examine the Reader essays on racism cited above. Then, drawing upon examples
from the essays and perhaps the observations of minority students you know, write
a paper presenting your own conclusions about the personal effects of racism.
2. Read several issues of a magazine such as Sports Illustrated or Working Woman and
determine what the articles suggest about American life. Then write an essay that
illustrates your conclusions and incorporates relevant material from the articles.
3. Pulling Off the Ultimate Career Makeover illustrates the way people success-
fullyadapted to economic change. Do your own research on how students and
Complete additional
others adapt to such change, and write your own essay that supports or disagrees exercises and practice
with Douglas Warshaws account. in your MyLab
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Writing an Illustration
Prewriting the illustration.
Identify and write the key concept or observation to illustrate by reading, talking to
others, or jotting down your own observations.
Identify your purpose.
Identify your audience.
Brainstorm examples and supporting details.
Select the most effective examples.
Determine if the illustration could have harmful consequences or promote
undesirable behavior.
Planning the illustration.
Decide on the examples to use.

Decide on an organizational strategy such as order of time, order of climax
(least to greatest or the reverse), or by categories.
Create a rough outline.
Make certain to give adequate thought to the point you want to make and your
examples.
Drafting the illustration.
Introduction engages the reader and establishes the topic.

Body provides examples with detail following order.
Chosen examples are truthful and not slanted.
Specific, concrete language is used to make the examples vivid.
Conclusion reestablishes the main point.
Repeat the
process as
Revising the illustration.
necessary.
Collect peer responses and reread the illustration critically.
Check fit to the main point.
Add examples or details.
Cut what doesnt work.
Test organization.
Test for ethics.
Proofread.
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CHAPTER

In this chapter you will learn how to:

People often use examples (illustrations) to clarify general statements.

Selecting Appropriate Examples

This short example meets many of the key characteristics of depression: a

1. Choose one of the following topic sentences. Select an

a. Sometimes a minor incident drastically changes a persons life.

d. Not all education goes on in the classroom.

a. Many parents I know think for their children.

Organizing the Examples

Prewiting for the Illustration

Brainstorm a list of examples. DEVELOPING YOUR

Example 1 Example 2 Example 3

Brainstorming on the difficulty of running a small store.

Arriving early to check

Drafting the Illustration

Introduce topic and give the reader a reason to read paper.

Present the examples that achieve your purpose.

Summarize the examples and re-emphasize the main point.

Revising the Illustration

What additional examples or details could make my paper more engaging

STUDENT ESSAY OF ILLUSTRATION

Continued on next page

Continued from previous page

Suggestions for Writing

1. I dont have enough time is a common complaint of many people today.

Critically Evaluating Your Sources Sometimes illustrations dont reflect reality.

Planning the illustration.

Decide on the examples to use.

Drafting the illustration.

Introduction engages the reader and establishes the topic.

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