Running head: FINAL EXAM 3 PARTS 1

Final Exam 3 Parts

Tanya Weller

Student ID: 185301861

Sociology 213 Robert Nestor

Forum Digest Assignment

August 23, 2016

FINAL EXAM 3 PARTS 2

Abstract

This paper contains 3 essays. The first discusses the double standard of sexual behaviour and

attitudes that still might be present today, and whether society allows women to have as many

sexual partners as men. The second part explores why older men are more likely to marry than

women and whether family can help or hinder intimate relations between older adults following

divorce or widowhood. Thirdly, comparing and contrasting how the expected roles of mothers

and fathers have changed since the 1950s will be done.

Keywords: children, divorce, families, family, father, housework, men, mother, North

American, older, parent, society, women

FINAL EXAM 3 PARTS 3

The double standard of sexual behaviour and attitudes still exist in recent times as it did

from decades ago through to present times. Television shows, such as All in the Family; religious

groups, such as Muslims who betroth children at birth; and other attitudes towards females that

sexually discriminate against them; and even through our Canadian government policies

concerning Indian status based on gender all portray an inequality between the sexes in this

regard. The social repercussions are unfavourable to women having more sexual partners than

their male counterparts are apparent both in our culture and the Muslim faith.

Prior to 1920 all activity between unmarried dating couples were chaperoned. As World

War II played out men became more daring sexually and marrying quickly was not uncommon

(Baker, 2014. P. 47). This behaviour and freedom afforded these couples ushered out the

accepted practice of chaperones. A double standard still existed where men could ask a woman

out but not vice versa. Men payed, women provided companionship though the ultimate goal

was marriage before the young woman was left on the shelf (Baker. 2014. P. 48).

Before 1950 if a young women engaged in pre-marital sex and became pregnant she was

strongly encouraged to marry. Failing this she had the option of getting an illegal abortion or

being sent off to visit a relative for the duration of her pregnancy only to be forced to adopt the

child out. (Baker. 2014. P. 50). It seems that the girl is punished while the young man is able to

be free of his burden. According to Sharia Law if a young girl gets pregnant she is, also,

strongly encouraged to marry the father of the child or else face a life of prostitution, a child of

12 years (Caloze & Cardona. 2005. 2nd part. 20:00). In both these situations it is the young girl

who bears the burden of shame and humiliation. Before the discovery of DNA the boy/man only

needed to deny to escape responsibility. If the man decided to marry the girl her child would take
FINAL EXAM 3 PARTS 4

on his name and not be damned to be a bastard for his life under his mothers name (Baker. 2014.

P. 51).

When women had enough it started the trend of feminism that helped women find their

voice and to recognize that they had choices, even in what to wear. Their choice to wear sexy

clothes should not make them feel as if they are less than competent and intelligent human

beings (Baker. 2014. P. 53). Although Anthony Giddens (1992) sees sexuality changing into

something that is more fluid, other researchers find that, though the double standard is more

relaxed, it is still present (as cited in Baker. 204. P.51). Even today in Canada some Muslims say

women showing their curves entice men thus sinning (Caloze & Cardona. 2005. 1st part. 15:45).

Feminists would be aghast to know that female circumcision still is practised by Muslims

(Caloze & Cardona. 2005. 1st part. 12:30). Women had no say.

Nuzhat Jafri is concerned with the practise of child brides and jawaz el mutaa

marriage of pleasure allowing Muslim to have sex with anyone they choose (Caloze & Cardona.

2005. 1st part. 11:00). This further devalues women. However, if a woman commits adultery she

is stoned (Caloze & Cardona. 2005. 1st part. 8:00). Bouchra shares that if a woman or girl is

killed for a moral sin it is Halal not a sin for those who kill them (Caloze & Cardona. 2005. 2nd

part. 31:20). With this in mind, that those girls/women who willingly had sex were what we

called promiscuous and that sex was for the health and needs of men (Nestor. 2016. Unit 4:5).

Under this double standard, men are allowed more freedom to have sex with other

partners more so than women (Nestor. 2016. Unit 4:5). The underlying belief that sex weakens a

man causes some coaches to tell their players to avoid sex before they play (Nestor. 2016. Unit

4:5). With all this pent up frustration and aggression on the field these players are let loose after
FINAL EXAM 3 PARTS 5

the game. This is acceptable behaviour. However, the girls they prey on are not considered

marriage material. Other researchers argue that the freedom men enjoy sexually is slowly

becoming equalized there is still a stigma attached to forward women (Baker. 2014. P. 51). The

parents of the female groupies are far more worried about them than the parents of the male

players are of their sons (Baker. 2014. P. 51).

Another interesting double standard is that it is not ok for a black man and a white

woman to kiss on national television (Dana, B. & Rich, B. 1972. 5:07). This racial tension is still

present in the southern states. Racism of this nature was not limited to blacks. Prior to 1985 if a

status Indian woman married a non-status man she lost her status and all its rights and privileges.

With the amended Act she could re-apply to be reinstated, but the onus was on her to provide

proof (Nestor. 2014. Module 2).

In conclusion, from the 1920s to present day sexual freedom and equality for women

does not exist without marring her reputation. The puritan stance many men take limits women

to acting in a proper manner in order to avoid ridicule, shame and embarrassment. Will this

gender gap be forever a chasm?

FINAL EXAM 3 PARTS 6

References

Baker, Maureen. (2014). Choices and Constraints in Family Life. Don Mills, Ontario. Oxford

University Press.

Caloze, Daniele, & Cardona, Dominique. (2005). Sharia in Canada 1st Part Something to

Fear. Canada. National Film Board. Retrieved from

http://www.nfb.ca/film/sharia_in_canada_part_1/

Caloze, Daniele, & Cardona, Dominique. (2005). Sharia in Canada - 2nd Part - The Pitfalls of

Diversity. Canada. National Film Board. Retrieved from

http://www.nfb.ca/film/sharia_in_canada_part_2/

Dana, Bill & Rich, John. (1972, February 19). Sammys Visit. Lear, Norman. All in the Family.

Los Angeles, CA.: Norman Lear/Tandem Productions. Retrieved from

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_UBgkFHm8o

Nestor, Robert. 2016. Class Notes. Retrieved from https://urcourses.uregina.ca/course/view.php?

id=5383
FINAL EXAM 3 PARTS 7

There are many reasons why older men feel the need to remarry, whereas women are

more hesitant. The yearning for someone to take care of them along with companionship, having

the ability to provide, and the desire for a better deal (trophy wife) all contribute to most men

entering into another union quicker than their former wives. Older single women appear to be

more content and better able to live apart from a man. Fathers choosing very young brides and

the financial well-being of their parents, particularly women, at stake many families are

concerned with such nuptials.

Kaufman and Goldsheider (2007) find that men and women believe that men need a wife

more than a woman needs a husband (cited in Baker. 2014. P. 56). Is it because studies show that

men suffer more health issues and are unhappier without a wife (Baker. 2014. P. 56)? Marriage

agreements happen because relationship rights are acquired through a marriage union such as

the right to make hospital-related decisions if ones spouse needs to be hospitalized, the right

to the spouses health benefits, pension plan, and a legal right to division of assets in case of

divorce (Baker. 2014. P. 64). Baker suggests that these are generally more relevant for older

people and this partly explains the higher marriage rates as people age (2014. P. 70).

For men marriage is desirable and more advantageous than for women as women marry

at some cost to their own physical and emotional health because they are expected to continually

care for others including themselves (Baker. 2014. P. 87). Could it be possible that older men are

more likely to marry so that they will have less housework to do (Baker. 2014. P. 64)? The

findings show that men do not contribute to helping with household work to any great degree

(Nestor. 2016. Module 4:6). Bulanda found that older women experience less marital happiness,

less marital interaction and less marital power than older men (cited in Baker. 2014. P. 186).
FINAL EXAM 3 PARTS 8

When women experience inequality in their marriages they find that when they divorce they are

less anxious to enter into another non-reciprocal experience too soon (Baker. 2014. P. 187).

Thus, many find community amongst other women like the Mikmaq older women who have

community together (Mackenzie and Martin. 1995. 5:19).

Unmarried older men of means are more desirable than single destitute older women. The

ability to provide for a wife is innate in men (Nestor. 2016. Module 4:5). With higher incomes

and higher standards of living the men are able to re-partner quickly (Baker. 2014. P. 162). The

highest poverty rates are among single older women who did not work full-time in their younger

years (Baker. 2014. P. 191, 143). In marriage women reduce their outside paid work and take on

more household and volunteer work when married (Baker. 2014. P. 37, 133, 143).

Former wives are less likely than former husbands to prosper economically after divorce,

and are less likely to re-partner and do not re-partner as rapidly (Baker. 2014. P. 187). This is true

of Zofia Moge who husband was ordered to keep paying her $150/month spousal support

because of her lost opportunity to get a foothold in earning power (Mansbridge and Wallin. 1992,

December 17). The possibility of parents/adult children feeling anger towards the former spouse

of their children for leaving their child/mother destitute must be palpable. Whereas, those that

become widows may benefit, somewhat, from insurance and compensation packages (Corriveau.

2010. 47:00). For other women being successful at their paid jobs lessens their need for a man to

provide for them (Baker. 2014. P. 62).

Men have the option to re-partner to begin a new family during their middle years or even

old age and the majority of divorced men do so (Baker. 2014. P. 159, 179). The pairing of older

men with younger girls is more prevalent than younger men with older women. Older men who
FINAL EXAM 3 PARTS 9

still want to have children/more children will choose a younger woman, who is quite willing to

marry older established men, of childbearing age instead of an older woman. (Nestor. 2016. Unit

4:4). An interesting fact gleaned from newspaper personal ads is that only one fifth of women

requested young men, but men preferred younger attractive petite women with no children at

home (Baker. 2014. P. 57, 208).

As women age their desirability lessens considerably (Baker. 2014. P. 178). Trophy

wives give men a sense of success and wealth (Baker. 2014. P. 133). This certainly held true for

Madelines husband in Mistress Madeline. Her husband sets her aside for his Trophy wife who

can be both eye candy on his arm and an asset to his position within the company. He thinks

nothing of leaving her and the children to pursue the English lady (Bailey and Johnston. 1986.

32:00). Once men attain a certain degree of success do they feel an entitlement to this? How do

their children feel when their young wife is very close in age to themselves? Or how do they

reconcile within themselves their father now financially supporting his new family instead of his

previous one, as few fathers are able to do this (Baker. 2014. P. 159).

Generally, men have more economic and social power which makes up for their age.

This fact is reflected in the fact that women grow old while men become

distinguished. (Nestor. 2016. Unit 4:4). A study done by Jagger (2005) found that 61 percent

of advertisers for personal ads were men, however, for those over 45 years of age the majority of

advertisers were women (as cited in Baker. 2014. P. 57). Could this be because do find their

interest in a younger partner satisfied, thus widening the pool of available older women?

Could it be that women will foster community together so their need for male

companionship is not necessary? Or, is their need for companionship, out of necessity, formed
FINAL EXAM 3 PARTS 10

with their children, grandchildren and other women of the community? Many women find

themselves economically challenged as well as outnumbered in attractive potential prospects for

the men. Children and family members find this disconcerting when younger brides are sought or

their daughter/mother left destitute.

FINAL EXAM 3 PARTS 11

References

Baker, Maureen. (2014). Choices and Constraints in Family Life. Don Mills, Ontario. Oxford

University Press.

Bailey, Norma, & Johnston, A.K. (1986). Mistress Madeline. Canada. National Film Board.

Retrieved from http://www.nfb.ca/film/mistress_madeleine/

Corriveau, Claire. (2010). Children of Soldiers. Canada. National Film Board. Retrieved from

http://www.nfb.ca/film/children_of_soldiers/

Mackenzie, Shaleigh & Martin, C. A. (1995). Mikmaq Family. Canada. National Film Board.

Retrieved from http://www.nfb.ca/film/mikmaq_family_migmaoei_otjiosog/

Mansbridge, Peter & Wallin, Pamela. (1992, December 17). Divorce: Alimony Agony. Canada.

CBC Digital Archives. Retrieved from http://www.cbc.ca/archives/entry/divorce-

alimony-agony

Nestor, Robert. (2016). Sociology 213: Family - Module 4. Regina, SK; University of Regina.

Retrieved from https://urcourses.uregina.ca/mod/book/view.php?id=286302

FINAL EXAM 3 PARTS 12

The 1950s ushered in an era that practised Talcott Parsons theory of gender based roles

where mothers stayed at home cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry and fathers were expected to

leave for work each day, bring home a regular paycheck and make the major decisions for the

family. The Standard North American Family model fit well with this generation. However,

times changed, mothers entered the workforce in droves and it was and is expected that these

social roles would change.

We are introduced to Talcotts model of the Standard North American Family through a

youtube video teaching mothers, from the 50s, how a [mother] always knows her place

(Goodwifesguide. 2012. 1:35). In another excerpt from Housekeeping Monthly we see another

example of how mothers should behave (Unknown. 1955, May 13). All in the Family typifies

this model. However, Archie comes across as brutish and chauvinistic. An example of this is

after Edith voices her opinion, which differs from his, Archie orders her to sit in a specific chair

and not say anything unless she is asked (Dana and Rich. 1972. 5:39). These examples show us

the normal expected and accepted model of a family (Nestor. 2016. Module 3:3).

A mothers lack of contributing to the economic well-being of the family lessens her

value to others and reduces her authority in the home (Baker. 2016. P. 28). Marxist theorists

believe that there is a direct correlation to who makes the money holds the balance of power

(Nestor. 2016. Module 1). Yet, in the 50s breadwinner fathers would bring home the paycheck,

take an allowance for themselves, and give the rest to the mother of their children for all the bills

of the household. Some mothers who earned a little on the side were able to use it for themselves

(Baker. 2016. P. 136). However, they were expected to do all the indoor work and caring for the

children. The fathers did the outdoor and heavier work (Baker. 2014. P. 129).
FINAL EXAM 3 PARTS 13

Now because of the increase in the cost of living more mothers in North America need to

work to make ends meet (Baker. 2014. Pp. 142-3) and work a second shift at home when they

got home (Nestor. 2016. Module 3:5). Canadian studies show that women were making more

money and working longer hours between 1986 2005 but they still did more housework than

men (Baker. 2014. P. 136), though the expectation was that fathers would contribute substantially

more to helping with the housework (Nestor. 2016. Module 4:6). It is found that mothers that

work full-time either lower their housework standards, encourage other family members to

share the work, or hire someone to clean their houses or care for their children (Baker. 2014. P.

130).

Nevertheless, the division of labour between gay and lesbian couples appear more evenly

distributed based on what each partner likes to do and/or is able to do (Baker. 2014. P. 130).

Doing gender, a life-course approach, seems to be practised by the heterosexual couples

(Baker. 2014. P. 130; Nestor. 2016. Module 1). Still many couples are re-negotiating their

division of labour (Baker. 2014. P. 36).

The pressure to be an income earner and nurturer that Sharon Hays elaborates on (Nestor.

2016. Module 4:6) forces many mothers to choose part-time work so they have time and energy

to be mothers and wives (Baker. 2014. P. 144). The motherhood penalty is real for mothers of

young children. When they have to take time off to care for children they lose earnings,

promotions, and their seniority during these times (Baker. 2014. P. 37).

Prior to 1950 married women were expected to become pleasant and efficient

homemakers and [fathers] worked hard and [earned] a steady income that was high enough to

support a wife and several children (Baker. 2014. P. 49). North American feminists since the
FINAL EXAM 3 PARTS 14

60s have encouraged women to get degrees in order to increase their financial independence

from their husbands (Baker. 2014. P. 142). Although fathers still make the majority of the

earnings, as mothers make more money and increase their hours of work they demand more in

their marital lives (Baker. 2014. P. 141). Unfortunately, the spending patterns of mothers and

fathers are gender specific the mother spending on groceries, clothing for herself and her

children, daycare and school needs; fathers spent on meals out, alcohol, vehicles, house repairs

and gambling (Baker. 2014. P. 137). The higher a mothers income in relation to her husband, the

greater her decision making in how the money is spent and how their home is run (Baker. 2014.

P. 137).

In conclusion, the 1950s role models for fathers and mothers seems to still be prevalent.

However, the smaller the income gap between the parents the less gender specific the roles are.

Mothers speak up more for what they need when they earn more income, especially full time

employment. Why, even in two income households, is the stereotype from the 50s still present.

Secondly, are women the only ones who want the roles, which seem to benefit the fathers

changed or equalized (Baker. 2014. P. 30)? Women may choose to live lives separate from men if

this continues.
FINAL EXAM 3 PARTS 15

References

Alice Goodwifesguide. (2012, October 13). Good Wife's Guide How to Improve Your

Personality. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DB5TOsS5EyI

Baker, Maureen. (2014). Choices and Constraints in Family Life. Don Mills, Ontario. Oxford

University Press.

Dana, Bill & Rich, John. (1972, February 19). Sammys Visit. Lear, Norman. All in the Family.

Los Angeles, CA.: Norman Lear/Tandem Productions. Retrieved from

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_UBgkFHm8o

Corriveau, Claire. (2010). Children of Soldiers. Canada. National Film Board. Retrieved from

http://www.nfb.ca/film/children_of_soldiers/

Mackenzie, Shaleigh & Martin, C. A. (1995). Mikmaq Family. Canada. National Film Board.

Retrieved from http://www.nfb.ca/film/mikmaq_family_migmaoei_otjiosog/

Mansbridge, Peter & Wallin, Pamela. (1992, December 17). Divorce: Alimony Agony. Canada.

CBC Digital Archives. Retrieved from http://www.cbc.ca/archives/entry/divorce-

alimony-agony

Nestor, Robert. (2016). Sociology 213: Family - Module 1. Regina, SK; University of Regina.

Retrieved from https://urcourses.uregina.ca/mod/book/view.php?id=286299

Nestor, Robert. (2016). Sociology 213: Family - Module 3. Regina, SK; University of Regina.

Retrieved from https://urcourses.uregina.ca/mod/book/view.php?id=286301

FINAL EXAM 3 PARTS 16

Nestor, Robert. (2016). Sociology 213: Family - Module 4. Regina, SK; University of Regina.

Retrieved from https://urcourses.uregina.ca/mod/book/view.php?id=286302

Unknown. (1955, May 13). Housekeeping Monthly. **Authenticity is questionable** Retrieved

from

https://motifmagazine.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/femns_goodwife19551.jpg
FINAL EXAM 3 PARTS 17