5/3/2016 LimitingGod|TheVortex

LimitingGod|TheVortex

TRANSCRIPT
TRANSCRIPT

Ifyouhavechildrenaround,youmaywanttoviewthisfirstbeforethem.

Asyouprobablyknow,theapostolatehasbeensomewhatsilentthisweekpublicly.Thatsbecausea
situationhasdevelopedthatImustfillyouinon.Itinvolvesthesinsofmypastlifeall
committedpriortomyreversiontotheCatholicfaith.Wehaveonverygoodauthorityfromvarious
sourcesthattheNewYorkarchdioceseiscollectingandpreparingtoquietlyfilteroutdetailsofmy
pastlifewiththeaimofpubliclydiscreditingme,thisapostolateandtheworkhere.

Ihavenevermadeasecretthatmylifepriortomyreversionwasextremelysinful.Ihavesaidmany
timesinpublicthatIwasinastateofmortalsin,andhadIdied,Iwouldhavebeendamned.I
alsorevealedthesesinswereofasexualnatureandthattheyoccurredoveraprolongedperiodof
time.Ididnotrevealthespecificnatureordetailsofthesins,becausewhenIreturnedhometothe
Church,Ididnotthinkthatafullpublicconfessionofdetailswasnecessaryinordertostart
proclaimingthegreatmercyofGod.

Perhapsthatwasawrongassessment.Idon'tseriouslyknow.PerhapsalongtheseyearsIshould
havebeenrevealingofgreaterdetail.That,Inowthinkso,butmoreonthatinamoment.

Whateverthematter,Iwillnowrevealthatformostofmyyearsinmythirties,confusedaboutmy
ownsexuality,Ilivedalifeofliveinrelationshipswithhomosexualmen.Fromtheoutside,Ilivedthe
lifestyleandcontributedtoscandalinadditiontothesexualsins.Ontheinside,Iwasdeeply
conflictedaboutallofit.Inalargeportionofmytwenties,Ialsohadfrequentsexualliaisonswithboth
adultmenandadultwomen.

Thesearethesinsofmypastlifeinthisareawhichareallnowpubliclyadmittedandownedbyme.
ThatwasbeforemyreversiontotheFaith.

Sincemyreversion,Iabhorallthesesins,especiallyintheworldofthemanymanyothersinsIhave
committedhavingnothingtodowithsexuality.Igaveintodeeppainsfrommyyouthbyseeking
solaceinlust,andintheprocess,surrenderedmymasculinity.

Manyofyouknowthestoryofmymother'sprayersandsacrificesandpleadingtoGodonmybehalf
thatIgiveupmysinfullifeandreturnhometotheChurch.Asalastresort,sheprayedtobegiven
whateversufferingneededsothatIwouldbegrantedsufficientgracetorevert.Itwasshortlyafter
thatprayerthatherveryearlystagestomachcancerwasdetected,whichshediedfromafewyears
later.

Duringthelastyearofherlife,Ibegantochangebybeginningtofrequentthesacramentsmore

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often.Whenmymomdied,IpledgedathercoffinthatIwouldchange.Isaid,"Mom,whatyouwent
throughforme,youwillnothavegonethroughinvain."IreturnedfullyandcompletelytotheFaith
andclosetotwoyearslater,Ibeganthisapostolate.

Iwasthrilled,overthetopwithgratitudeforwhatGodhaddoneformethroughmymomandher
suffering.Hehadrescuedmefromamiserable,horriblespiritualdarknesswhereIlostalmostall
understandingofmyself.AndinordertounderstandthegreatmercyofGodhere,youmustrealize
thecorrespondinggreatdepthsofevilintowhichIhadplungedmyself.Thoseweredreadfuldays,
years.

Ihadgreatpaintoovercomefromchildhoodandmyyouthandinsteadofrecommendingmyselfto
Godinmyyouth,Igaveintothefleshanddiedspiritually.IshuddereverytimeIthinkwhatwould
nowbemylothadIdiedinatrafficaccidentorsomething.

Igaveupmyselfmymasculinity,myidentity,myselfunderstanding,myowndignityasabaptized
Catholic.AsIhavesaidpublicly,withoutthedetails,IlivedahorriblelifeandwouldbeinHellhadI
beenkilledbeforereturningtotheFaith.

Iwanttotakeamomenttoapologizetoanyonewhoiswoundedinanywaybythis.Ididnotintendto
deceive.Ijustdidn'tseetheneedtoprovideupclosedetailofpastsinsinordertoinformpeopleof
theFaith.IthoughtitsufficienttosimplystatethetrueandoverridingfactthatIhadledahorriblelife,
andthroughmymother'sefforts,beengivensufficientgracetocomehomeasaprodigalson.

FromthetimeofmyreturntotheFaith,Ihavewantednothingthanforotherstoexperiencethejoy
andlifegivingtruthoftheCatholicChurch,toknowthatthedeadcanberaised,todeeplyconsider
whatistrulymeantby"WithGodallthingsarepossible."

Allthingsarepossible."Thoughyoursinsbeasscarlet,Ishallmakethemwhiteaswool."Eventhe
mostseeminglydifficult,nevercanhappen,notinamillionattemptskindofthings.Allthingsare
possible.NothingisimpossibleforGod.Hecanevenrestoreyourformerlyshattered,confused
sexuality.Itdoesnotmatterwhatevertheissue,whateverthesin,whateverthedepthofthe
deepestdarkness,thereisnowhereGodcannotcometoyouandrescueyou.

Hediditforcountlessmenandwomenwithhorrible,horribleliveswhobecamesaints:Paul,
Augustine,Francis,Ignatius,MargaretofCortona,thepatronsaintofreformedprostitutes.

TheChurchisfilledwithsuchstories,somuchsothatonecouldalmostsayitappearsthemissionof
theChurchistocollectmiserablesinnersandturnthemintosaints.Butthatisexactlywhatthe
missionoftheChurchis!

ThereisrealpowerintheCross.Itisn'tjustnicepoetryandstuffofChurchsongs."LiftHighthe
CrossofChrist"indeed.SaintPaulsawthatwhenhewasdonemurderingthefirstCatholics.I'mnot
portrayingmyselfasasaint,butIamheretodaytellingyouthateverythingaboutthetransformative
stuffoftheFaithisreal.It'strue.Iknowit'strue.

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ThroughtheteachingsofthisHolyCatholicChurchestablishedpersonallybytheSonofGodonSt.
Peterformysalvation,yoursalvation,throughHersacraments,throughHerintrinsicpower,Iwas
givenbackmymasculinitythatIhadsquandered.

Iwasrestoredtolife.Itisreal,everylastbitofit.Andwhenyouknowit,youknowitandyou
wanteveryoneelsetoknowit.Andyouwanttomakesurenothingstopsthemfromknowingitlike
youknowit.

Itisfreedom.Itisjoyful.

Sinceourearliestdays,whatwedoherehasbeenatargetofthediabolical.Hehasputforthtoo
manytrapsformetoevenrecall.Thegoalhasbeentoshutusdownandendthismissionbecause
weconstantlyspeakaboutthegloryoftheCatholicChurchanditslifegivingpower.Hedoesn'twant
thatmessagebeingheard.Hewantspeoplebeingensnared.

Ihavemademanymistakesandmisstepsastheleaderhere,butinregardtothisspecificpoint,it
wasamistaketonotbringthisforthearlier.Ididnotdoittodeceive,butbecauseIdidnot
understandthenecessity.

NowIdo.IwaslimitingGod.Iwasrestricting,puttinglimitationsonthegoodnewsofHissaving
power.Hedidnotjustsavemefromabadlifethatisfartoogeneral.Inmuchmoreconcrete
terms,Hereacheddownintothemightydarkwaters,thetempest,aseaofsin,anddrewmeout
fornothingisimpossiblewithGod.Nothing.

Idonotknowwhattheresultofallofthiswillbe.Itisdifficulttospeakof,beyondunpleasanttorecall.
Butthosesinsarethepast.Thisisanewlife,anewman,asSt.Paulsays.

ThisiswhywhenIwasinFatimainpersonfiveyearsago,ItookadvantageofthemomentandI
consecratedspecificallymychastitytoOurBlessedMother.ThatvirtuewhichIhaddesecrated,Inow
askedtobeconsecrated,protectedbyHer.

Fromitsfirstmoment,thisapostolatehasbeenplacedunderthecareofSt.MichaelandOurBlessed
Mother,theonewhodefeatedhiminHeavenandtheonewhodefeatedhimonearthandinto
eternity.Andasaremindertohim,youwillstrikeatHerheel,butShewillcrushyourhead.

Wewillneverceasedeclaringthesetruths,thegloriesoftheCatholicfaith,regardlessofwhat
happens.Ifthisisallthreatenedbecauseofrevelationsofmypastsins,thenpleasepraythatthewill
ofGodbedone.

Thankyouforyourprayers,yoursupportandyourunderstanding,aswellasthemeasureof
forgivenessyouarereadytoextend.

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