Adolescen ce
Adolescents develop more abstract
conceptions of death than children do. At
this age they begin to think that they are
immune to death. They believe death only
occurs to others and not them.
Adolescents develop a religious and
philosophical views about the nature of
death and whether there is life after
death. At this age they begin to help their
younger siblings on how to understand
the loss of a family member.
Ch ildh ood
Children from 3-5 years of age do not
understand what death means and do not
think that people die. They may think that
they are just sleeping and during this
early age, children do not get upset when
they see or hear about someone or
something dying. They may also believe
that they could have caused the death of
someone by doing something wrong
when they asked them not to. Children
age 6-9 believe that only some people die
and that death is temporary. At this age
they may also believe that certain things
may cause death. For example, if they got
a new toy the day a family member died,
they may think that is what causes the
death if they are not fully explained what Gr ievin g Ch il d
had happened. Children 9 and older
better understand death and know that it
is universal and irreversible and that they A gui de to h el pi ng parents
cannot do things that they did when they
were alive. Even with a better and sch ool staf f h ow to h el p a
understanding about death, children at
gri ev i ng ch i l d.
this age may think that it cannot happen
to them or their family. To them, only old
and sick people die.
Xelene Aviles
Alyx Merickel
Megan Collison
Seema Sharma

Par en t al Su ppor t
- Help your child understand death
by welcoming questions and
answering with honest and simple
answers to explain death.
- Involve children in family activities
of mourning and mentally prepare
them about the activity and what
to expect.
- Allow your child to express their
grief by using arts and crafts,
physical activities, playing with
adults etc.
- If possible, keep the daily routine
intact and re-insure the child that
there will be someone to care for
them always.
- Ensure that the child has a support
system that is aware (i.e. school
counselor, teachers, coaches, etc.)
- Reach out to local resources for
information on other grief support
services.
Wh at Teach er s can look ou t For
Sch ool Per son n el can h elp Gr ievin g Fam ilies
-Change in lifestyle
Sch ool Cou n selor s/ Psych ologist s
-Less interaction with friends
-Help student and family understand what has
-Loss of shared memories
occurred
-Help identify reactions -Decreased special attention
-Provide reassurance with concerns on own health -Loss of sense of safety and trust in the
world
-Offer support to minimize distress
How Teach er s can M odif y t o f it
-Offer advice Appr opr iat e Wor k loads
-Inform families about local resources for additional -Adapting assignments; eg. allow a written
assistance presentation versus oral
How An y Sch ool Per son al can in it iat e -Change the focus or timing of a lesson
Con ver sat ion
-Reduce or coordinate homework and
-Express your concern extracurricular activities so the student can
-Be genuine and honest meet expectations
-Modify or excuse the student from tests to
-Listen and observe; talk less
relive some pressure
-Use open-ended questions to initiate conversation
-Inform the other students what the child is
-Limit sharing of personal experiences
going through and how to help
-Offer practical advice
Good Qu est ion s t o ask Regar din g Cu lt u r e
-Offer appropriate reassurance
-?Can you tell me how your family and your
-Communicate your availability for support culture recognize and cope with the death
of a family member??
Wh at NOT t o do/ say t o Som eon e Gr ievin g
-?How does this fit with your own
-Try not to cheer them up, allow them to feel
preferences at this time??
however they are feeling
-?Can you help me understand how I can
-Avoid ?at least? statements
best be of help to you and your family??
-Do not instruct them to hide their emotions
-Avoid sharing your own feelings, instead ask them
about theirs
-Do not tell them how they are supposed to feel
-Avoid comparing their experience with personal
ones, focus on theirs