Professional Documents
Culture Documents
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1-SCARCITY
Its been very difficult for our ancestors, the most
important resources for survival were very scarce so
naturally humans developed attraction towards scarce
resources as we need them urgently. After thousands
of years that sense of urgency is still present in our
brain. We are more likely to get attracted to certain
things whose availability is limited and we mostly
take actions to get it if we feel that we may lose that
thing... marketing, companies use this fact to a great
extent, example companies make limited edition
products not because they cant make more products
but it triggers the customers to buy it since it is scare
and not available in abundance, similarly big
restaurants usually offer less food on the plate,
advertisers use terms like hurry offer valid only for
today. This concept can be used in all aspects of life...
considering love life, dating gurus give important
advice to people that they should not be always
available for their crush mainly during the initial
period to build attraction and avoid the curse of
getting friend zoned.
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2-RESIPROCACITY
Its a really powerful mechanism of brain, humans
have a deep internal need to settle things with each
other to make things fair. So if you do a favour to
someone then the will return it with a favour but if
you do something bad you can get a much worse in
return.
example: if you get a gift by someone on your
birthday then you more likely to give the person a gift
on their birthday.
now for a business example: there is a multimillion
dollar organisation Hare Krishna which makes a lot
of money through donations. One way of getting
donations is that
at the airport they approach people and pin a flower
at their cloths, even if you say you dont want they
insist you to take it as a gift and after you accept that
gift they immediately ask that if you would like to
donate some money for their organisation. Now it
really becomes hard for the person to say no as we
have that urge to settle things with each other and
mostly people donate due to this fact.
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3-CONCESSION
Example for concession from the book explains it
clearly, once when the author was at airport a boy
came to him and asked him to buy a ticket for an
event but as the author was not interested so he
refused. After the denial the boy asked him to buy a
chocolate instead which was way cheaper than the
ticket the author took the chocolate without any
hesitation.... but after the boy left he realised
something strange as why he bought the chocolate
when he not really liked chocolates that much in the
first place. This concludes the concept of concession
that when someone ask you for a large request and
after you deny counters it with a smaller request, and
we are more likely to accept that smaller request.
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4-COMMITMENT AND CONSISTENCY
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5-SOCIAL PROOF
You might have notices something like in this
example, a study in new York was done where people
were told to look up to the 6th floor of a building,
continuously and see what happens Forty-five percent
of passersby stopped if one person was looking up,
while 85% of passersby stopped if 15 people were
looking up. A similar experiment was aborted when
so many people were looking up that they stopped the
traffic.
this principle is based on the fact that we copy what
others do, especially when we are unsure what to do.
If situations are critical, we follow anyone who seems
to know what they are doing. So basically Show
people how others already do what you want them to
do. In an alarming research, it has found that highly
visible news about suicides results in an increase in
the suicide rates.
this type of suicides are called copycat suicides,
happened even in India some years ago, where news
particularly about children committing suicide due to
depression increased the number of children
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committing suicides. On a positive side this principle
of social proof was used to treat young children who
were afraid of dogs. The treatment was very simple,
they merely watched a boy playing happily with a
dog for twenty minutes a day. After only 4 days, 67%
of children got over the fear and started playing with
the dog themselves. When everyone is laughing you
also laugh... canned laughter that we hear in most of
the comedy shows actually helps the joke to appear
much funnier that it actually is. Advertisers even tell
us that their product is largest selling, fastest
growing... etc; these are all implications of this.
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6-AUTHORITY
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7-LIKING
Its so hard to say no to a beautiful girl or a cute boy
asking you a favour just because people are more
likely to be influenced by things or people that they
like most. Since liking has such a fundamental impact
on relationships it is often used as a powerful tool for
persuasion. You can dramatically increase the
chances of making people comply to your request,
sell or persuade them if they like you at first place.
Now comes the main question how to make someone
like you; there are various factors on which you can
work.
physical attraction: try to always look as good as
possible, because good looks suggest other
favourable traits, like honesty, humour,
trustworthiness.
similarities: Find similarities between you and the
person, we like people similar to us in terms of
interest, opinion, personality, background, etc;
compliment: giving compliments, people love to
receive praises, and tend to like those who give it...
surprisingly even if they know if its false.
contact and cooperation: how often they see you
can also have an impact and how well you co operate
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with them. A real world example of our irrational
thinking because of this principle is our love towards
pandas. They are cute, fluffy animal on which
billions of dollars are spent as to save them from
going extinct. Now its a holy deed that even I dont
want to see a world without pandas but the real
problem is that the fact that there are many other
species that are at the edge of extinction. Many of
that other species are easier to save and are much
important for our eco system and indirectly ourselves
but we are not getting enough money and resources to
save them.
why ? Just because they are not as cute as pandas
are. Thats how liking works.
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8-REASONING
When asking someone to do us a favour we will be
most successful if we provide a reason with the
request.
example: A hardware psychologist made an
experiment where she approached people in a line
who were just about to use the Xerox machine and
requested that person to let her use the Xerox
machine in three different ways which got her
different results. In the 1st way she asked can I use the
machine as am in rush... 90% agreed in the second
way she just asked can I use the machine? and 60%
agreed thats its always better to try and ask in the
3rd way she asked can I use the machine to take
Xerox. Surprisingly 90% again agreed. So it
conclude that giving a reason increases the chances of
your request getting accepted. Even I have personally
used the power of reasoning on many occasions and it
really works. Once I had to visit a doctor when I went
there, too many people were already waiting I had to
prepare for my exams so I didnt wanted to waste my
time, I requested them to let me go first as I wanted to
go an prepare for exams with just a small bit of
hesitation all of them agreed. These are the 8 triggers
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which I discussed in this book. Its been 80 years
humans are behaving modernised as reacting to the
consequents which is right and which is right. The law
of attraction (LOA) is the belief that the universe
creates and provides for you that which your thoughts
are focused on. It is believed by many to be a universal
law by which Like Always Attracts like. The results
of positive thoughts are always positive consequences.
The same holds true for negative thoughts always
leading to bad outcomes. But the LOA is much more
than generalizations; thinking about red Lamborghinis
will bring you red Lamborghinis always. To the
believers, questioning the validity of the LOA is akin to
heresy and blasphemy; it creates religious fervor. To
the uninitiated, it may seem silly to discuss even the
possibility that such a law could exist.
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3) No Action: The only way to manifest your thoughts
into things is to believe and live as if youve already
accomplished your goal. LOA guru Esther Hicks said,
You did not come into this environment to create
through action. Action shows the Universe that you
know you dont have it and that you doubt its ability to
manifest it for you. While it is obvious to most that
action is a necessary component of goal achievement,
it is completely inconsistent with a belief in a LOA.
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Rhonda Byrne stated, It takes no time for the Universe
to manifest what you want. While goal setting research
supports the importance of establishing timelines to
achieve success, LOA experts assert that it would be
inappropriate to set a deadline for the universe to
achieve your goal.
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riches; ignore poverty. Rhonda Byrne in The Secret
takes this a step further, If you see people who are
overweight, do not observe themIf you think or talk
about diseases, you will become sick. What you think
or surround yourself with good or bad, is what you will
bring upon yourself. If you believe in a LOA avoid any
of the helping or health professions such as physician,
nurse, hospital worker, clergy, psychologist, police
officer, paramedic, etc. Avoid professions in which you
deal with poor people such as accountant, mortgage
broker, banker, lawyer, etc. While research shows that
charitable work, empathy and volunteering is beneficial
to both the giver and receiver, avoid these things if you
believe in a LOA.
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visualize a successful outcome. This shows faith in the
universe. Thinking about plans, actions, and challenges
are discordant and negative so skip the process and
focus on the result; live without regard to the present.
This is the definition of mindlessness. Being fully aware
of and attentive to the here and now is mindfulness and
has been shown to produce powerful health and
wellness benefits such as greater life satisfaction
and happiness.
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hurricanes, natural disasters, the Holocaust yes, their
fault. We all know deep inside that this is ridiculous to
even suggest. However, it is a basic, fundamental
premise of the LOA. You NEVER attract something you
are not thinking about. When anything bad happens to
anyone, they are to blame. Dont feel sorry for anyone
who has cancer or a disease or starving children in
poverty, they brought it on themselves. What
causes obesity? Slow metabolism? No, fat thoughts.
From LOA experts, Disease cannot live in a body
thats in a healthy emotional state. (Bob Proctor). You
cannot catch anything unless you think you can, and
thinking you can is inviting it to you with your thought.
(From The Secret). Good thoughts and actions can
never produce bad results; bad thoughts and actions
can never produce good results. Suffering is always the
effect of wrong thought in some direction. (James
Allen). If man will think only thoughts of perfect health,
he can cause within himself the functioning of perfect
health (Wallace Wattles). Every individual creates
every aspect of their experiences we are in complete
control of our health throughout our entire lives. There
are no accidents. (Esther Hicks).
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unrealistic goal. From The Secret You can think your
way to the perfect state of health, the perfect body, the
perfect weight, and eternal youth. You can bring it into
being, through your consistent thinking of perfection.
Reality check -life is not perfect. It can be great,
fantastic, amazing, incredible, even optimal. But
perfect? Wont happen. Whats the problem with this
way of thinking? Why not expect perfection?
Fantasizing and striving for perfect makes you feel
better in the short term but actually reduces your
chance of attaining your goals and results in more
unhappiness and blaming. If you are only going to be
satisfied with perfect results perfect health, perfect
body, perfect family, perfect marriage, perfect
friendships, perfect kids, perfect house, perfect job,
perfect life; you are in for a perfect disappointment.
Research studies support this.
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with the LOA for smaller items for which they did not
make a vision board; finding money on the street,
getting a check in the mail, hearing from a long lost
friend, etc. Is a belief in a law of attraction any better
than rubbing a rabbits foot, tossing a coin in the
fountain, or pulling apart a wishbone? Test it yourself,
the answer is no!
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If you read LOA websites and posts, youd guess that it
is might be over 90% effective - everybody seems to be
achieving their goals this way. Talk to experts who deal
with the general public trying to use a LOA, theres a
completely different story. The failure rate is huge! In
fact, LOA expert John Assaraf estimated that the
success rate is about 0.1%!! We believe this number to
be correct.
AIM HIGH
Trick: Ask for way more than you want at first then scale
it back later.
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unreasonable, so when you ask for something reasonable
they will feel obliged to help out this time.
NAMES
A name is the core part of our identity, and so hearing it
validates our existence, which makes us much more
inclined to feel positively about the person who validated
us.
But using a title, or form of address can also have strong
effects, according to the as if principle. The idea is that if
you act like a certain type of person, you will become that
person, its a bit like a self fulfilling prophecy. To use this
to influence others, you can refer to them as what you
want them to be, so they will start thinking of themselves
this way. This can be as simple as calling an acquaintance
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you want to be closer to friend, or mate whenever you
see them, or referring to someone you want to work for as
boss. But be warned: this can come off as very corny.
FLATTERY
This one may seem obvious at first, but there are some
important caveats to it. For starters its important to note
that if the flattery is not seen as sincere, its going to do
more harm than good. But researchers have studied the
motivations behind peoples reactions to flattery, and
found some very important things.
MIRRORING
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Mirroring is also known as mimicry, and is something that
some people do naturally. People with this skill are
considered to be chameleons; they try to blend into their
environment by copying other peoples behaviours,
mannerisms and even speech patterns. However, this skill
can also be used consciously, and is a great way to make
you more likable.
USE TIREDNESS
Trick: Ask for favours when someone is tired.
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When someone is tired they are more susceptible to
everything someone may say, whether it is a statement or
a request. The reason for this is that when people are tired
it isnt just their physical body, their mental energy levels
drop as well. When you ask a request of someone who is
tired, you probably wont get a definite response, but
probably an Ill do it tomorrow, because they dont want
to deal with decisions at the moment. The next day, they
are likely to follow through because people tend to keep
their word; its natural psychologically to want to follow
through with something you said you would do.
KEEP QUITE
Trick: Dont correct people when they are wrong.
NOD
Trick: Nod a lot while you talk, especially when leading
up to asking for a favour.
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You can't build trust with someone if they feel that every
time they start talking, you are going to jump in. Not only
does it interrupt their focus and retract their emotional
investment in the conversation, but going forward they
will be hesitant to talk at all.
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When talking with others, we often want to show that we
are educated and knowledgeable. It can be hard for some
people to admit they are learning something new for the
first time. Many leaders find it difficult to take advice,
because they feel they should know everything and be the
one giving guidance.
RULES OF ATTRACTION:
Rule 1: No one is interested in you
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Ask lots of questions, be genuinely interested, ensure the
conversation revolves around the other person, retain eye
contact, smile, ask further questions most importantly,
enjoy listening. You might not end up saying much, or
talking about yourself but it doesn't matter. This is all
about charm, and allowing people to chat about
themselves is the easiest way to win them over.
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then use their name again if appropriate. Repeat it once
more when you say goodbye. The sound of our own name
is the sweetest sound in the world, and people will really
warm to you if you say their name and remember it.
You are worth a hell of a lot, and you deserve just as much
success as anyone else. So stand tall and be bold. If you're
struggling, think of a confident role model and copy their
body language and mannerisms. Soon enough, you'll be
boldly walking up to people and introducing yourself
without a care in the world.
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Body language is very important, so practice in front of a
mirror or with a friend until you get it right. You want to
ensure arms are open and not crossed; that legs are relaxed
and not crossed and that overall, you look relaxed and
approachable.
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Keep conversation professional at all times by using polite
language. For example, never say 'Ay up!', always say
'Hello' instead. And don't forget your manners. Also, try
and keep everything very positive. Don't bring up the
awful time you had on holiday or complain about the state
of the economy. Charm people over by talking about
polite, professional and happy things.
Rule 8: Smile!
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This attitude is the way I live my life and I always find it
works very well because it shows how sincere and
trustworthy you are. I hate gossip and I get a very bad
impression of people who bitch. If you want to charm
people, steer clear of the backstabbing and become a nice
person instead.
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believe in yourself and your own principles. People will
always respect your opinion just make sure you express
it in the right way.
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These eight motivators have a foundation in military
approaches
1 . C HI LD LI KE CU RI O SI TY
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3 . EM OTI O N AL A PP EA L
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4 . B O OS TI N G E G O
5 . D EF L ATI N G E GO
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Done poorly, you could easily alienate the individual if
youve misjudged how far to go with that person. And you
might get by crossing the line from ego deflation to insult.
6 . E ASI N G FE AR S
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security and trust in you, and then carry on with the
conversation.
7 . C ER TA I N TY AN D U N C ER T AI N TY
8 . SI LE N CE
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Creating silence in the modern world is intentional. Even
in a room full of people experiencing shiin, anyone has the
option of speaking up, even if its just to beg, Somebody
please say something! To many people, if not most,
silence is unsettling, and someone will say something; it
may even contain some substance.
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Do - Ask questions. Recruiters dont expect you to know
everything there is to know about our organizations. We
are more than happy to answer questions and help you
learn about the company. I love it when a candidate asks
me, What do you like best at Google? and then follows
up with, and what do you like least? Recruiters like
thoughtful and interesting discussions. Engage us.
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How to Start a Conversation With Anyone
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Hey, youre into Moz?
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an exciting topic, but if that doesnt work then
weve just wasted the first minute or so of
conversation and come across as boring.
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If he doesnt show any red lightseven if I cant read his
thoughts and see his level of interest in the conversation
Im going to assume that he wants to keep talking.
Otherwise I might give up on my promise without giving
the conversation a chance.
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