You are on page 1of 2

BECOMING A PA

A lesson in empathy
Laura Icenhour

O
n the most unforgettable day of my life, I went have to start treatment immediately. But I didn’t care about
to the ED, my parents by my side, convinced this at the time. I refused. I was traumatized.
that the tingling in my legs and feet was the I remember small scenes from my experience in the
result of something minor. “It’s probably just a nerve hospital. I remember my mom crying and my dad hold-
problem,” I explained to the doctor, confident in the ing my hand. I remember how understanding the physi-
medical knowledge I had as a 20-year-old college stu- cian was when I wanted to go home: rather than trying
dent. The physician, a young resident who appeared to to convince me otherwise, he helped to arrange a home
be no more than 5 years older than I was, explained to health nurse to come to my house and start an IV that
me that my symptoms would “probably reveal a lesion I could administer myself over the course of 5 days. But
in my brain. It sounds like multiple sclerosis [MS],” he most of all, I remember the ED resident. He did his job.
told me. I remember laughing in response. I was com- He diagnosed my problem correctly, just from listening
pletely unconvinced that from my symptoms of loss of to me and ordering the tests he thought would best
balance, difficulty raising my legs, and lower extremity confirm his hypothesis. And then he did more. He found
neuropathy, this new young doctor could correctly me, hours later after I had received the diagnosis of MS,
diagnose a disease I had only really heard about in older and walked in to ask how I was doing. I remember
people. He did say there could be other causes for my thinking about how much he must care to go out of his
symptoms and ordered tests to rule out other possi-
bilities, such as vitamin B12 deficiency.
I spent many hours in the ED that day. Blood work
and an MRI were done, and then I waited. As I lay there, Because I personally know
I remember thinking that the only thing that separated
me from patients who were “actually sick” was a curtain.
how it feels to receive bad
And then, after what seemed like an eternity, a team of news from a medical provider,
physicians I had never met approached my bed. At that
moment, I knew the news they were there to deliver I will be better able to
would change my life forever. The resident was right.
A large lesion of demyelinated neurons was centrally empathize with patients’
located in my corpus callosum, as most manifestations
of MS are. feelings and fears.
I don’t remember much after hearing the diagnosis. I
didn’t cry. I just stared blankly, shocked and in utter dis-
belief. I didn’t understand. “I’m only 20. I’ve always been way to locate one of his many patients that day. Among
so healthy,” I said. I vaguely remember a physician trying the million questions, thoughts, anxieties, and fears I
to convince me to stay overnight in the hospital. I asked remember from that day, I also remember feeling human.
him if I would die if I didn’t stay, and he explained that I That ED resident’s action had shined a light on the hard-
would be okay but that I needed a high dose of IV steroids est day of my life.
to essentially “calm down” my brain, and that I would When I remember that day, I don’t remember the
medical terminology, the test results, or the details of
my disease, but the thoughts and feelings that ran through
Laura Icenhour is a first-year PA student in the Wake Forest School of
Medicine PA Program, Winston-Salem, N.C. The author has disclosed
me as I tried, frantically, to digest all that had been
no potential conflicts of interest, financial or otherwise. thrown at me. How would we afford to pay for the great
Tanya Gregory, PhD, department editor expenses sure to follow? Would my parents be okay?
Reviewers: Alexandra Godfrey, MS, PA-C; Jill P. Grant, MMS, PA-C, Would I still be able to finish college? Would physician
MS; Laura A. Katers, PA-C; MS; Ellen D. Mandel, DMH, MPA, MS, PA- assistant (PA) school still be an option for me? Honestly,
C, RDN, CDE; K. Patrick Ober, MD; Harrison Reed, MMSc, PA-C I didn’t spend much time trying to answer those ques-
DOI: 10.1097/01.JAA.0000458873.16678.8d tions. I quickly realized that my only limitations would
Copyright © 2015 American Academy of Physician Assistants be self-inflicted and chose to let my positive interactions

JAAPA Journal of the American Academy of Physician Assistants www.JAAPA.com

Copyright © 2015 Lippincott Williams & Wilkins. Unauthorized reproduction of this article is prohibited.
BECOMING A PA

with medical professionals drive me to where I am now, tears I have experienced through my own medical journey
preparing for my first round of examinations as a PA will help me to better communicate and empathize more
student. deeply with my patients as a practicing PA. JAAPA
Today, I feel fortunate that I can look back at this
experience and see how valuable it will be when it comes
time to treat my own future patients. Because I personally
know how it feels to receive bad news from a medical ATTENTION PA STUDENTS AND
provider, I will be better able to empathize with their PA EDUCATORS!
feelings and their fears. Because I learned how to hear,
Becoming a PA is JAAPA’s medical humanities section
accept, and then move past the bad news, I will be better
for PA students and welcomes narratives of student
able to help my patients do this as well. At first in that
encounters with patients during clinical rotation, personal
ED, I pretended to know what I was getting myself into. illness narratives, reflective essays, poems, photographs
I felt that I was educated enough and strong enough to and other visual works, videos, and music. Please see
incorrectly self-diagnose, and then listen to a life-altering the author guidelines for complete information about this
diagnosis, absorb it, and move forward immediately. And department and details of how to submit.
then I realized I was simply human. The emotions and

www.JAAPA.com Volume 28 • Number 1 • January 2015

Copyright © 2015 Lippincott Williams & Wilkins. Unauthorized reproduction of this article is prohibited.

You might also like