9 Phrases You Should Stop Saying If You Want To Be Happy and Successful

2/3/2018 9 Phrases You Should Stop Saying if You Want to Be Happy and Successful | Thrive Global
WISDOM // May 30, 2017
9 Phrases You Should Stop

Saying if You Want to Be
Happy and Successful
Language matters.
by Elle Kaplan
https://www.thriveglobal.com/stories/9837-9-phrases-you-should-stop-saying-if-you-want-to-be-happy-and-successful 1/7
Change your vocabulary and you can completely change your success.
Language matters. The right words can motivate you to take your happiness and
success to the next level — but the wrong ones can stand in your way.
Studies have even found that using positive or negative language can change your
brain by impacting the expression of genes that regulate physical and emotional
stress.
Even more importantly, it’s been discovered that we say that we say 300 to 1,000
words to ourselves every single minute. If you’re practicing negative self-talk, that’s a
lot of negative words being thrown your way.
If you’re serious about moving toward success in every aspect of your life — including
your words — read on for nine phrases you should eliminate from your vocabulary.
1) “This has to be perfect.”

American journalist, activist, author of six
best-selling books Maria Shriver once said,
“Perfectionism doesn’t make you feel
perfect; it makes you feel inadequate.”
Often, we strive for perfection because we seek approval and praise from others.
When we obsess over how others perceive us, we are left unhappy, disappointed,
and unmotivated.
Although you should always aim to do your best work (and you should never be
making sloppy mistakes), you can’t expect to take on new challenges without a few
slip-ups along the way.
Next time you nd yourself in this endless cycle of thinking your best isn’t good
enough, take a moment to nd gratitude for all you’ve been able to accomplish —
and then move on.
2) Constantly saying “Yes.”
When we say “yes” to everything, we make ourselves susceptible to being
overextended, overworked, and overwhelmed. It also cheapens the value of our
time, and blocks us from being able to put our full energy into the things we really
want to say yes to. The key is setting boundaries. Janine Garner, CEO of The LBD
Group, says, “It’s about realising that you’ve got to take ownership of yourself, take
ownership of your life and ownership of achieving the goals you want.” Flex your
“no” muscles more — as you say it more often, it will get easier.
3) “I’m so busy.”
A recent study in the Journal of Psychological Science shows that in general, we’re
much happier when we have a lot going on in our lives. So why is our response to
“How are you?” usually met with tales of our busyness, followed by an exhausted
sigh?
When we vocalize this state, it automatically conjures negative thoughts, forces us to

run through a to-do list in our heads instead of being present in the moment, and
serves as a thinly-veiled cover-up for how we’re actually feeling. Next time a friend or
colleague asks you how you’re doing, bring attention to your response — and avoid
the word “busy.”
4) “They’ll change.”
Many of us are “ xers.” We see someone with a problem, or we see some aspect of
their personality or behavior to that we want to change — so we force our idea of
what is right upon them. People cannot change unless they want to. So not only is
trying to change others futile, it compromise their happiness and ours. If someone
comes to you for help, don’t be afraid to o er your support — just don’t force your
ideas on them and expect a radical 180-turn in their behavior.
5) “I can’t.”
When people hear you say “I can’t,” they hear “I won’t.” Not only does this suggest
that you’re not willing to do what it takes to get the job done, but often asserting that
you can’t do something is a self-ful lling prophecy.
Often, we deny being able to do something because we are afraid — when we’re
presented with a new opportunity that would introduce radical change, an exciting
new role, or the chance to present in front of a room of senior executives. Next time
you want to say “I can’t,” examine your motives carefully — is it coming from a place
of inability, or fear?
6) “I’ll do it later.”
Procrastination can be a detriment to your self-esteem, productivity, and reputation.
A number of studies over the past decade have also shown that it even has negative
e ects on your well-being and your emotional state.
To avoid the time-wasting, emotionally-draining e ects of procrastination, employ

good time-management practices like using a planner — either on your phone, or in a
paper calendar. Break up your goals and tasks into bite-size pieces, and give yourself
a small reward when you reach one of these milestones.
7) “This is the way that it’s always been done.”

Think about some of the biggest innovations of the last several years: ride-sharing
apps. Electric cars. Virtual and augmented reality. These new products disrupted
entire industries because they did things completely di erently.
If Elon Musk had said “cars have always run this way,” we wouldn’t have Tesla. Don’t
be afraid to challenge the status quo and think of new ways of solving a common
problem — you can be sure your boss and the people around you will take notice.
8) “Everybody said no”
Apple is the biggest company in the world based on their market capitalization. We
can give Steve Jobs credit for most of that growth.
Today, he’s regarded as a marketing genius and a business messiah, but it wasn’t
always that way. Apple’s board of directors red him at the age of 30, which any
rational person would interpret as the ultimate “no.”
But that didn’t stop him. He went on to found NeXT, NeXT was acquired by Apple,
and the rest, as they say, is history. But if he had taken “no” for an answer, we
probably wouldn’t even know who he was today.
“No” is an opinion. One rejection is not law. It’s impossible to please everyone, no
matter what you do, and that goes for your personal success. Don’t leave it up to
someone else.
9) “Never!”
The New York Times famously predicted that no matter what, no matter how far
technology reached and no matter what the aerospace industry came up with, the
human race would never, ever reach the moon.
What if people had listened?
The greatest success stories are those in which the impossible was accomplished,
where that which was thought of as “never” achievable was achieved. The best and
greatest have employed the opposite mindset, asking themselves “what if everything
is possible?”
Call to action
Are there any phrases you’ve stopped saying to boost your happiness and success?
I’d love to hear about it — leave a comment or give me a shout-out on Twitter!
If you liked these tips, please recommend the article and visit ElleKaplan.com for
more advice!
Originally published at medium.com
WISDOM, SELF IMPROVEMENT, MENTAL HEALTH, LIFE LESSONS
Elle Kaplan
CEO & Founder of @LexionCapital A Premier Investment Management Firm. Self Made
Entrepreneur, Financial Expert, Animal Lover, Midwestern Transplant & Dreamer.
The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces
written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily
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2/3/2018 9 Phrases You Should Stop Saying if You Want to Be Happy and Successful | Thrive Global

WISDOM // May 30, 2017

9 Phrases You Should Stop

Change your vocabulary and you can completely change your success.

1) “This has to be perfect.”

When we vocalize this state, it automatically conjures negative thoughts, forces us to

To avoid the time-wasting, emotionally-draining e ects of procrastination, employ

7) “This is the way that it’s always been done.”

What if people had listened?

Originally published at medium.com

WISDOM, SELF IMPROVEMENT, MENTAL HEALTH, LIFE LESSONS

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Enter Your Email SUBMIT

“ People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the

nd a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own

Thrive Global © 2018

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