Visionary

Parenting
Dr. Kanwal Kaisser
Objectives of the Course

• Develop parenting skills to raise kids in harmonious

environment at home.
• Realizing the responsibility we owe as parents to
handle our children.
• Implementing parenting principles and practices from
Quran and Sunnah for life.
 Being Visionary Parents

Husband Wife Time

Role Modeling Proactivity
Bonding Management

Discipline Communication Anger

Assertive Skills
Techniques Skills Management

3 July 22, 2012 Footer text here

 Learning Objectives for this Session

• Importance of Husband Wife Bonding

• Issues that exist due to Husband Wife Disparity
• Adopting the qualities for good bonding
• Establishing team work at home

4 July 22, 2012 Footer text here

Husband Wife
Bonding
Dysfunctional to Functional
families
Define Parenting
Children = Our Future

Abu Hurairah (RA) narrated that Prophet

Muhammad ‫ﷺ‬said:
"When a man dies, his good deeds come to an end except
three: ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge, and
righteous offspring who will pray for him."
(Muslim 1631)
 Husband
Wife
Bonding

8 July 22, 2012 Footer text here

 “Is it Normal for Us to Disagree?”

• It's normal to disagree and argue from time to time.

• You might disagree on small home chores, or bigger
decisions.
• Difference between healthy and unhealthy
disagreements

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Life Time
Partnership
Prevent family crisis
Family Fragmentation

• According to University of Pennsylvania psychologist,

Martin Seligman, "past generations were able to
maintain hope through difficult times because they had
three anchors of stability in all of their societies: faith in
God, pride in one's country, and stability in the family"
(Collins and Clinton, 51)

• Collins and Clinton in their work, Baby Boomer Blues,

quote Neil Kalter: "There is mounting evidence now that
a substantial number of children, perhaps as many as 30
to 50 percent, bear the painful and disruptive legacy of
their parents' divorce for years" (62)
Family breakdown leads to moral erosion

• "Communication problems are the number one reason for

divorce in the 1990's. Reason: women don't really understand
men, and men don't really understand women" (Patterson and Kim,
91)

• Since 1960, violent crime has increased by 560 percent, the

number of unmarried pregnant teenagers has nearly
doubled, and the number of divorces has increased by nearly
200 percent while the marriage rate is at an all-time low.
(The Index of Leading Cultural Indicators, by William J. Bennett, facts and figures on the
state of American society)
Impact on Muslim Society

• Divorce rate on rise:

California: 37%
Georgia: 29%
Turkey + Egypt: 10%
• Lack of reference points for second generation and
younger families.
(Dr . Illyas Ba-Yunus, Professor Sociology, State University of New york)
Our common Errors

• Static Behavior
• Roles in family not defined
• Future targets vague
• All running after instant gratification
Marriage in Islam
A life time investment
Love, Blessing and tranquility in Marriage

And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves

mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed
between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a
people who give thought.
Al-Rum: 21
 • Tranquility: Totally satisfied by spouse.

• Love: A mutual feeling that makes the relationship a

happy and enjoyable one.

• Mercy: Is not a temporary feeling of sympathy. It is

rather a continuous flow of niceness, high morals, and
honorable attitude.

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Garments to each other

They are clothing for you and

you are clothing for them.
(Al-Baqarah: 187)
 Beautiful metaphor

• Protection from external elements

• Beautification
• Conceal one’s `awrah
• Necessary in front of others
• Closest to one’s body

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 Marriage is not a passing
adventure! It is a life
relationship, a firm covenant,
and a very serious partnership.
Al-Ghazali

20 July 22, 2012 Footer text here

 Dr. Kanwal Kaisser/ Hamaray Bachchay

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touch…..
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