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The reason why you were born is not to get married. God has a purpose for you. Therefore, chasing
marriage as if it is the only thing you have got to do is not it. If the purpose for which you were born is
to marry, then Jesus Christ did not fulfill purpose.
Singleness (your single state) is a gift that must be celebrated. Singleness is a time of growth. It is a time
of self discovery, spiritual discovery and service. It is a time to sit under God to discover who God has
made you. It is a time to concentrate on the content and not the container in order to have an
inestimable or valuable content.
My intention for presenting this to you is to ensure that you understand this gift called singleness; you
understand your wholeness and uniqueness as a single, so that you can make a right decision about when
to get married and who to marry. It’s also important that you enjoy where you are on your way to where
you are going.
Romans 12:2.
A man is truly changed when he has fully changed the way he thinks. You need to get into the word of
God in order to know God and be able to change the way you think about yourself. That’s why single
state is a time to be highly devoted to studying God’s word. Then you become like God and anyone who
sees you will see God in you. You will begin to attract only God-like people.
2.Likeness:
Genesis 1:26.
Likeness means to be like Him. The purpose for which God made us in His likeness is so that we can
function like Him.
“A person without self-control is like a city without fence (a city with broken-down walls).”
Proverbs 25:28.
Anyone who doesn’t know who he or she is becomes a fair game for someone else to mould into another
image. Until you become whole, you will always be dependent on other people for self-worth.
Amore so, you need to work on your appearance, your speech, and general outlook. Man looks and sees
the outward; only God looks on the inside.
Proverbs 18:21-22. To have a very good, attractive and pleasant likeness, one of the things you need to
work on is your MOUTH. Get you tongue sorted out before you go into a relationship. Learn how to speak
confidently for yourself so as not to depend on others for approvals. Learn how to speak the right things
at the right time. Your tongue should minister grace and be like a tree of life to people.
3.God’s Presence:
4.Work:
You need to be hardworking and diligent in whatever you do. As a young person, someone who is ready
to get married, you cannot be lazy. You must have dreams and goals that you are working towards. You
must not be like someone who lives with “no future ambition” (NFA) or as if the “future is far away”
(FIFA). You must have goals, pre-determined goals that you are working towards. You must be diligent at
work and diligent in seeking God. At this stage of your life, you have got a lot of time, you need to use it
accountably and be diligent. Though, you say you don’t have work, you are not gainfully employed; the
issue is what can you do? What are your gifts and talents? What do you do best with your hands? You
need to creatively be engaged.
5.Cultivation of Garden:
“To cultivate” means “to bring out” or “to nurture”. If you have not nurtured yourself, you cannot
nurture somebody else. You need to first of all bring out the best in you so as to be able to bring out the
best in somebody else. Do people enjoy being around you? You need to be able to cultivate yourself in
order to cultivate someone else and make him or her better and not bitter.
Before starting a relationship, you need to first of all consider this, are you a weed that will constantly
choke the relationship or a rich fertilizer that will help cultivate and nurture it? Fertilizer improves the
quality of what you are planting and also increases the yield. But a weed stifles quality. Fertilizer gives
100% without expecting anything in return. Weed does vice versa and rather compete and reduces. It is a
parasite that always wants to take without giving or contributing.
So you need to find out, if you o into relationship, will you cultivate and improve your partner or reduce
him or her by being a parasite?
Cultivation takes time. It requires persistence, patience and focus.
6.Protection:
You need to develop the capacity to defend and protect the interests and lives of those under your care.
You need to be able to safeguard people’s dignity, interests and confidence no matter what. You cannot
afford to be a tale bearer that always gossips.
People who come to you to gossip about someone will surely gossip about you too. Tale bearer causes
crisis.
As a lady, you need to ask, the man you want to start a relationship with or marry, can he protect you or
is he always asking you for sex? Any man who asks you for sex only wants to steal from you. He doesn’t
love you, but lust after you. You should let such man go. Why should you accommodate someone who
wants to steal from you? When a man loves a woman, he will always want to protect her and give her
such joy and comfort. Not otherwise. Love doesn’t take away, but lust does.
When you have developed these things, you are right for relationship and marriage. Now you can begin
to function like God because you have His likeness. People can now trust you, that is, you can win
people’s trust.
I pray that as singles, you will be celebrated uniquely in Jesus’ name. You are bold and confident singles
going somewhere to happen. You will marry rightly in Jesus’ name.
I look forward to hearing from you. God bless!