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Taniuska Tikay

Prof. Huerta

7 November 2017

The “American” Reality

An Analysis of the Realities People in the United States Face Today

Imagine an average American family. Do they look like your own? Do you see an image

in black and white? Since the 1950’s the idea of the perfect family and the image upheld by this

belief still exists within our society although it may no longer be relevant. The fact that the

‘average American family is still a nuclear family that does not represent the American

demographic is a problem in modern society. Families today face the harsh realities of

misrepresentation by their elected officials in politics, false societal norms, and lack of

connections within their own communities. These realities leave families feeling isolated and

create a loss of identity.

With this in mind, author Stephanie Coontz pinpoints the origin of the myth of the model

family and why it still prevails in modern times in an excerpt called ​What we Really Miss About

The 1950s​ from her work ​The Way We Really Are: Coming To Terms with America’s Changing

Families (1997).​ While authors Naomi Gerstel and Natalia Sarkisian demonstrate data in ​The

Color of Family Ties: Race, Class, Gender, and Extended Family Involvement​ that present a look

into roles of modern families, primarily white families compared to latino and black families.

Another work that presents data collected from modern families is ​Mass Deportations Would

Impoverish US Families and Create Immense Social Costs ​by Robert Warren And Donald

Kerwin from the Center for Migration Studies that focus their data on the impact of
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undocumented people living in the United States. These texts give us the evidence to prove the

myth of the model family as false and show the realities that Americans are facing today.

To continue, the model family is in inaccurate depiction of what an American family

should look like by representing heteronormative and racist beliefs that were apparent in the

1950s. According to Coontz the 1950s were, “a time when there were fewer complicated choices

for kids or parents to grapple with, when there was more predictability in how people formed and

maintained families, and when there was a coherent ‘moral order’ in their community to serve as

a reference point for family norms” (Coontz 25). Coontz is alluding to the idea that people could

live a middle class lifestyle without having to attend college like they do now, and that people

had clear social and gender norms to conform to. Families were usually younger and they did not

face such a significant financial burden in the 1950s due to the way society was set up to uplift

young men and to promote domestic life for young women.

Later in her work Coontz presents the origin of the “moral order” as the mainstream

media and how the representation of families at the time were optimistic and not realistic. Most

of the media in the 1950s revolved around the concept of family, however it avoided the realities

people were facing as a whole such as: racial tensions, domestic abuse, and the mistreatment of

women. The media of the 1950s encouraged a patriarchal domestic leadership and often

dismissed the role of a woman as miniscule and insignificant. Women were portrayed as

homebodies whose sole purpose in the family was to cook, clean, and care for the children while

the male assumed dominant role in all decision making. Not all women were living this reality

like families today, they are not represented in the media or in society in general including

politics.
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It is important to realize, people living in the United States are often misrepresented in

politics because they lack connections to their elected officials. Usually the people who make

laws in this country are bought out by big corporations who finance elections so it is usually their

beliefs who are represented in our laws. For example, the National Rifle Association finances

many campaigns for senators to be in office so it is implied that if the senator wants to keep

getting endorsements then they will follow what the NRA wants them to do. This is why there

are so many laws making guns accessible to Americans, this is also why so many families are

misrepresented today. If a politician is being endorsed by a company who is anti immigration

then it does not matter what the people believe, because the person who they elected to make

decisions for them is not honest. Politicians usually function on their own accord in this country

and it is frustrating for those who feel that their opinions are not being heard. It is also true that

there is a problem with people who do not vote for those who have their best interest, and it’s

often due to hyped up promises by certain politicians or the fact that some people simply do not

vote. People don’t vote because they are under the impression that a single vote won’t matter,

but are then faced with the reality that the new elected official does not represent them. Then

there are people left who are forced to live with the decisions others made for them because they

could not vote, either undocumented or simply underage.

In addition, the report by Warren and Kerwin,​ Mass Deportations Would Impoverish US

Families and Create Immense Social Costs​, states that, “there were 3.3 million mixed-status

households in the United States in 2014” (Warren, Kerwin 1). This means that there is a margin

of undocumented people that did not vote because they couldn’t and were therefore not

represented in prior elections and in the 2016 election. Thus, those people are living in a
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democratic country that does not reflect their beliefs. This is a reality that families are facing

today, as well as having to keep up with false social norms that are imposed on them.

Not only do people have to face misrepresentation but also the legacy of false societal

norms established in the 1950s that isolate individuals. Some norms that weren’t even norms in

the 1950s are still apparent in our society, such as the concept of the “nuclear” family. The

nuclear family is defined as a white, heterosexual, middle class couple with a couple of children

living in a suburban neighborhood. This concept of family was never inclusive and left “others”

who were often isolated by culture and class. As defined by Coontz, the “others” in the 1950s

were: “Jews, African Americans, Puerto Ricans, the poor, gays or lesbians” (Coontz 32). This

definition of “others” is still true of today’s society because there are still common

misconceptions of these groups of people that are clear themes in the mainstream media.

Correspondingly, authors Gerstel and Sarkisian touch on the subject of class and culture

and that a common misconception people have of Black and Latino ethnic groups is that they

have less “family values” than white individuals. Using data collected from National Survey of

Families and households (1992-1994) they came to the conclusion that, “White, Black, and

Latino/a individuals with the same amount of income and education have similar patterns of

involvement with their extended families” (Gertel, Sarkisian 48). The mainstream media often

portrays Black and Latino/a families as disconnected from their families and show White

families as more unified stereotypically and Gerstel and Sarkisian dismiss this belief with data.

Now, there are shows like Blackish, that are the opposite of 1950s sitcoms, that expose the

reality of being an ethnic middle class family trying to maintain a tie to their culture in modern
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society. Shows like this prove that the norms that people are accustomed to are outdated and that

the lack of connection within communities does not only factor in class, but also culture.

It has been noted that, outside factors have created a loss of identity for those who feel

isolated in a country that misrepresents them politically and socially. This nation is currently

experiencing a wave of White nationalism that has been encouraged by the president in his

political campaign. Unfortunately for those who are not White, the country seems to be turned

against them. In the Latino community there is a constant threat of deportation for those who are

undocumented, as presented in ​Mass Deportations Would Impoverish US Families and Create

Immense Social Costs​ there are: “2.9 million undocumented residents [that] were 14 years old or

younger when they were brought to the United States” (Warren, Kerwin 1). Undocumented

individuals who have been in the United States for most of their lives have little to no connection

to their country of origin and this alienation imposed by the president has left them isolated. It is

difficult to identify as “American” when the people of the country elected a man who wants to

deport you. This country was built by the use of immigrants and slaves, yet people are still facing

isolation and a loss of identity in this country because of where they are from.

In essence, the lack of identity that families face today is due the lack of representation

by their elected official and in society, for is a harsh reality that can be fixed. It is easier said than

done, but there is a way to repair the loss of identity and the isolation people are experiencing in

this country. A way to mend the disconnect would be to hold more inclusive voting platforms

and to inform people of the importance of political involvement. Another way would be to

encourage the media to stop portraying stereotypical versions of ethnic groups in their programs

and to promote diversity. Authors: Coontz, Gerstel and Sarkisian, and Kerwin and Warren prove
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that this country is constantly evolving and it is left to the American people to decide in which

direction it shall go next.