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Grace Whitbeck

Drug Addiction Simulation

Log:
1. Are you thirsty now?
2. Where is your next ice cube coming from?
3. What is your plan to satisfy your craving?
Monday- Charleston, SC
9 am- yes; my freezer; I can sneak some ice from the kitchen and drink it in an opaque cup in
case anyone walks in
10 am- yes; the coffee shop I’m meeting my friend at; my friend asked what to get me and I’ll
just tell her iced coffee
11 am- yes; the coffee shop before I leave; I will ask for a paper cup filled with ice and pour
water in it to take on the road back to Columbia
12 am- no; maybe colloquium when I get back to campus; I still have some un-melted ice in my
cup so I can just refill it with water if it lasts until I get to Columbia
1 pm- yes; I can get ice at chipotle after class; the ice I had in the car hasn’t melted so I can fill it
at the water fountain and bring it into class since it’s a paper cup and no one can see
2 pm- no; still haven’t gotten to chipotle, but that’s where I can get more ice; I can ask for
another paper cup with ice and carry that until it melts
3 pm- no; I will get to chipotle at 3:30 and can get ice; I can carry the chipotle paper cup around
with my ice
4 pm- yes; I can get more ice at home in my freezer; I doubt my roommates are home so I can
just have a nice glass of ice water alone
5 pm- no; I still haven’t gotten home, but I can get ice there; I can drink ice water at home
because my roommates aren’t there
6 pm- no; I could get ice at the house I go to small group for; for now, I can bring ice from my
house in my paper chipotle cup in case I get thirsty
7 pm- no; I still have ice in my chipotle cup and can probably wait until I’m back home; I can
put more ice in this paper cup during small group
8 pm- yes; I can’t sneak ice without anyone seeing during small group, so I’ll have to wait until
I’m home; I’m going to eat grapes to distract myself and get a little juice
9 pm- yes; my freezer at home; I’m on the way home, so I can just grab ice and go straight into
my room to drink it
10 pm- no; my freezer; my friend just came over, but as soon as she leaves I can get more ice out
of the freezer
11 pm- yes; my freezer; I can’t satisfy my craving with my friend here, I’ll have to wait until she
leaves
12 pm- no; my freezer; I can have a cup of ice water alone right before bed

Tuesday- Columbia, SC
8 am- yes; freezer; no one else is awake, so I can have a glass of ice water alone in my kitchen
9 am- yes; my boyfriend’s freezer; I can put water and ice in a mug so he can’t see through the
cup
10 am- yes; colloquium possibly; I had to put ice in my coffee at my boyfriends’ house and now
I’m still thirsty and don’t know what to do to satisfy my craving because I’m going to
class.
11 am- yes; no clue- I don’t have time to go to colloquium; I’m chewing gum to distract myself
12 am- yes; no clue- I have more classes to go to, maybe I can stop in a drive through later; still
chewing gum as a distraction
1 pm- yes; no clue- I have to walk to McMaster and there is no ice!; I’m just not thinking about
it, I can’t satisfy my craving right now, I’ll just stay busy in class
2 pm- yes; no clue; still staying busy in class to not think about it
3 pm- yes; I’m leaving class and running an errand, maybe they’ll have ice at a gas station; I
went to two gas stations and there was no ice so I paid 72 cents at a Church’s Chicken for
a bottle of water and a cup of ice.
4 pm- no; the mall where I’m meeting my friend after my last class; I can just ask chickfila for a
cup of ice water.
5 pm- yes; the mall; I can get a cup of water on my way out from chickfila
6 pm- yes; Cook Out after young life; I can ask for a Styrofoam cup of ice and water
7 pm- yes; Cook Out in a few hours; I’m going to eat food to distract myself because there is no
ice near me right now.
8 pm- yes; Cook Out; I’m busy dancing and talking, so I’m keeping my mind off of it.
9 pm- yes; Cook Out; I’m leaving for cook out in a little, so I can just wait until they give me a
cup of ice there
10 pm- no; my freezer; finally got ice from Cook Out and I’m satisfied until I need more at home
where I can just hide in my room and drink ice
11 pm- no; my freezer; I’m home and have refilled my Cook Out cup with ice to drink in my
room in case someone comes in.

Write up

A. Through this simulation, I learned that addiction is 24/7 obsessive and aggravating

experience. When I was addicted to ice I felt very frustrated because I didn’t always have time to

look for ice since my Mondays and Tuesdays are so busy. I was also irritated and dazed the

whole day because at some points I had no clue where to get more ice. However, whenever I had

ice, I felt an enormous wave of relief and didn’t worry about anything for the hours I could hold

that cup of ice in my hand and be certain I wouldn’t be thirsty at least for that time. On Monday,

I drank ice water even when I wasn’t thirsty because I knew my supply might become limited,

but on Tuesday I switched to depriving myself of water because I was too busy to be able to

think and strategize fully how to get more ice. As an addict, I felt certain physiological effects
like fatigue and headaches and I also was psychologically exhausted because of the lack of

control, lack of certainty, and constant thirst that I felt.

B. To maintain my addiction, I carried paper cups from various restaurants around all day

so that no one would notice I’m drinking ice. My boyfriend wondered what I was drinking when

he first saw me because it was odd I wasn’t drinking out of my usual glass water bottle, but I just

said water and changed the subject. I tried depriving myself of water the second day, but once I

was desperate enough I couldn’t help but stop at the first gas station I saw and ask for ice. With

no luck, I went to a second gas station and got laughed at looking for ice again. Finally, I drove

through Church’s Chicken and told them I would pay whatever they wanted for a cup of ice…

which they thought was kind of odd.

C. Over the 48 hours I was an addict, I found myself being a lot more impulsive; I would

stop at the first place I saw that I thought might have ice, I would gulp down as much water as I

could whenever I had ice, and I would say the first thing that came to mind even if it was

obviously over-defensive when someone noticed something odd. My behavior became very

impulsive when it came to cravings, but when it came to the obsessive logging, I felt that I

became a lot more secretive since I’m not usually on my phone that often. Ultimately, that

obsessive element that caused me to worry about the log and where I was going to find ice next

made my behavior the most irritable and easily overwhelmed. I became angry because I didn’t

know where to get ice for most of Tuesday and turned to food as a distraction.

D. My boyfriend didn’t think I was acting that strange until he found the fish tattoo

(tracker) on my arm. He pointed it out and just laughed at me with a confused expression and I

pulled my sleeve down really fast and acted offended. He saw that I wanted to keep the reason

for the tattoo private and so he just laughed it off and said it was fine if I had a secret, however
strange it was. Other than that, no one noticed anything different because I was usually able to

blend in my ice drinking habits with everyone else or I would just not drink anything.

E. I wore a shirt that would cover the tattoo the first day, but my sleeve came up and my

boyfriend saw it, so the next day I wore an extra sweater. This didn’t hinder any of my

behaviors, but it was really hot and made me uncomfortable and even more thirsty.

F. Other than briefly hiding from my friends and family when I was sneaking ice out of

the freezer, I did not avoid anyone in order to hide my addiction.

G. Being addicted to ice was really hard for me, especially because I chose to do the

simulation on Monday and Tuesday. Those are my busiest, most social, most class-filled days,

and this week I had a two-hour car ride from Charleston to Columbia added in. I over-all felt

very tired from the efforts I had to maintain to find ice. I honestly forgot about my addiction a

lot; I would forget to log my cravings and was too busy to plan ahead for where my next ice cube

would come from. There was a lack of time to strategize where I would get ice next, and I would

often go throughout the day feeling dehydrated until I could not stand it anymore. It was a lot

harder to manage than I foresaw, however my busy schedule prevented me from being able to

fixate on my addiction. I believe that my motivated lifestyle serves as a great protective factor

against addiction because I remember thinking to myself that I would have no time in real life to

actually be addicted to a drug. I also value and greatly enjoy the activities I participate in and the

people I am around so much so that it would be easy for me to find support and other distractions

if I needed to sober up. I am thankful that my desire for ice was never strong enough to cause me

to avoid the people I love, and through this simulation I learned that my temperance and

environment prove to be great protective factors against addiction.


On the other hand, during this experiment I also learned how quickly an addiction can

hinder and crumble your life, motivation, and relationships. I wasn’t drinking ice because it was

pleasurable, I was drinking it simply for relief and simply to get through the day, which really

opened my eyes to the inescapable heaviness of a true drug addiction. The withdraw symptoms

(fatigue, headaches, and thirst) caused me to be so much more irritable and dazed than normal,

and the defensiveness and anger that came from sneaking around, lying, and still craving ice

helped me realize just how badly and quickly an addiction can hurt your relationships, education,

and work ethic. Because I often didn’t know where my next ice cube was coming from, that

increased my tendency to unintentionally overuse the “drug” (ice), since whenever ice was

available, I would feel compelled to drink as much as I could. This factor of addiction is quite

scary because the dose of a drug that an addict might take throughout the day will most likely

fluctuate depending on the supply available and the desperation felt, thus increasing the risk of

overdose. In addition to personal harm, relational difficulties will also easily arise from drug

addiction. When you are preoccupied with a drug, as I experienced logging my cravings every

hour, yet you don’t realize that you have a problem, addiction can grow until an outside source

recognizes an issue and points it out. This will most likely incite defensiveness and anger from

the addict, resulting in distance in important relationships.

This simulation helped me recognize protective factors, the dangers and social effects of

drug addiction, and it also sparked my understanding of the multi-faceted and highly complex

issue of addiction in its entirety. Analyzing the true nature of addiction, first looking at the

disease model of drug abuse, I can understand how addicts are deemed sick because they have no

control over their drug use and others around them don’t suffer from the same addiction.

Comparing this to my experience, I walked through the day watching others drinking from the
water fountain or drinking out of their water bottle, upset because I felt alone in my abnormal

and uncontrollable need for ice. Looking at the physical dependence model, I would

comparatively need to drink ice to prevent or relieve my symptoms such as fatigue and

headaches. This model and application displays a greater need for addicts to receive outside help,

counseling, and medication to be able to restrict and decrease drug use and abuse without

suffering from withdraw effects. Looking at the positive reinforcement model and experiencing

the limitation to this theory that recognizes that pleasure from a drug decreases over time while

craving increases, I understand how tormenting an addiction can actually be. In this simulation, I

felt continually compelled to find ice although I did not even have significant or increasingly

positive effects. Similarly, looking at the incentive-sensitization model, it is extremely complex

to imagine that a drug addiction encompasses an uncontrollable want for a drug although the user

may not necessarily like the drug. The concept and details of drug addiction is an increasingly

complicated issue that is not widely understood or treated. Imagining the frustration, damage,

and trapped and alone feelings that drug addicts undergo, this simulation has taught me that there

really are more psychological than physical factors to addiction that are not accounted for and

the entire model of addiction cannot completely be understood without empathy and the bio-

psycho-social model.

To know that even something like ice has the power to simulate a drug addiction, it is a

terrifying thought to imagine being addicted to a drug that is actually illegal and lethal. Although

ice isn’t illegal or particularly harmful, this simulation taught me that anything without

moderation can be unhealthy. Furthermore, it is horrifying to think that anyone’s psyche has the

capability of turning a good thing into a constant necessity and unhealthy obsession, and most of

society still looks at the crippling nature of drug addiction as a choice rather than a mental
disorder. Being able to empathize at least slightly with true drug addicts through this simulation,

I can only imagine the hazardous lengths some addicts go to to find relief from withdraw effects

and cravings, and I am now understanding that this population is in need of widely increased

medical and mental help and interventions.

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