Self-Esteem Paper 1

HD341 Communication for Empowerment

Self-Esteem Paper

Fredy Rodriguez

April 15, 2017

Pacific Oaks College

Theresa Rochambeau, Instructor

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The purpose of the paper is to present a study conducted on the topic of self-esteem. The

project was based on asking five participants three questions: How do you define self-esteem?

What do you think lowers self-esteem? What do you think raises self-esteem? To further explore

the topic, sources were reviewed to find out how the three questions are addressed in the

literature.

The self-esteem project allowed me to explore the sensitive subject of esteem. This

project allowed me to gather data on different perspectives of self-esteem based on different

demographics I asked three questions on this topic. The questions were: How do you define self-

esteem? What do you think lowers self-esteem? What do you think raises self-esteem? Each of

these questions is significant to the project because it allowed the interviewee to open up about

the subject, and evaluate their own perception of esteem.

Self -esteem is defined as a self -evaluation of self-worth, or describe as the measure of

how much we like or approve our self-concept. Not too long ago I was reading a book call High

Price by Dr. Carl Hart. This autobiography of a now known neuroscientist talk’s about how our

environment influence our way of thinking, and how changing that environment can influence

our life decisions. Dr. Carl Hart explains how he grew up in one of the tuff neighborhood, and

how one day the decision to join the air force changes his perspective of life. He explained

through research how addicts can have a positive change only if they are giving the chance of

changing their environment. Going back to self-esteem, I can say the environment we have been

nurtured in influences what we think about our self. This environment can either be positive high

self-esteem or negative low self-esteem. Evaluating the next question about what is low self-

esteem, I believe low self-esteem is a stage of mind were your self-worth means nothing. You
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walk around feeling with not value about who you are and you pay too much attention to outside

criticism. Having the ability to raise your self-esteem is a gift of our everyday life, but what

raises self-esteem? I believe self-esteem is connected with the concept of self-acceptance, and

self-empowerment there are not outside forces that can raise your self-esteem, it’s all within your

own power. For this you might have to look deep and seek positive change in your life,

discipline yourself to block any negative thoughts and find ways to connect with yourself in all

areas of your life mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical. People with higher self-esteem tend

to exercise all this areas, and find self-worth within their own self. Finding answers in regards of

self-esteem has not been recent, many, psychologist, therapist, and counselors seen to defined

what self-esteem means and how this affects society. A lot of literature has been written on

regards of this topic, in the next section I will be introducing some of this literature that defines a

stand on what scholars think are some key points on self-esteem.

Literature Review

In the following section I will be exploring what scholar literature has to said in regards

of self-esteem. The purpose of this section is to explore how scholars defined the following

questions: How do you define self-esteem? What do you think lowers self-esteem? And what do

you think raises self-esteem? We will be quoting, analyzing, and comparing these findings with

what we have defined on the three questions.

The first reading I found was based on a study on the relationships among coping with

stress, life satisfaction, decision-making styles and decision self-esteem this research found that
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a “significant relationships among life satisfaction, decision self-esteem and decision-making

styles were found. Individuals with higher decision self-esteem have satisfaction in their

lives. Individuals with higher self-esteem believe in their decision-making abilities, consider

themselves successful and think that their decisions will turn out well (Mann et al., 1998).”

(P. 1167) This means that people with high self-esteem live a fulfill life, they found self-

worth in their decisions, and believe those decisions will be successful. The importance of

this study on regards of the three questions is that it allow me to explore the concept of

“self”. Self is a vital part of self-esteem, there might be external forces that might influence

esteem, but how you channel those forces and learn to cope around them is what defines how

you will evaluate yourself worthy or unworthy. People with high self-esteem see life

differently, as this study denoted. They live satisfactory life that believe in their abilities to

make decisions, regardless of what others might think, they don’t look externally to make

this decisions but internally on their self-worth. They believe in themselves for this reason

they have high self-esteem.

The second reading was based on the book The User's Guide to Being Human: The

Art and Science of Self said that “Empowerment is the art of managing your personal power.

By learning to direct your energies effectively and efficiently, extraordinary feats become

possible, and even commonplace. An inner wellspring of energy soon lights your path, and

matters like low self-esteem or hopelessness fade away.” (Loc. 359-361). The concept of

empowerment can be defined as fundamental on what drives self-esteem, a person who has

not learn to empower themselves and their decisions tends to lack self-worth. The book

defines this empowerment as to learn how to direct our energy is a positive way, by doing so
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we have the ability to make effective and efficient decisions. For example a person who is

pessimist about everything will direct this energy in a negative way ending in low self-

esteem. On the other hand a person that is optimist and see life in a positive way will usually

live life to its fullest and have higher self-esteem.

The third reading was based on the book The Communication Skills Book I found this

great quote “The fear of being wrong has vast proportions. That’s because your opinions and

beliefs are closely tied to your self-esteem. Being wrong can equal being stupid, bad, or

worthless. It would be a great step forward if beliefs and opinions could be seen as temporary

hypotheses—held until disproved or modified. Rather than building your self-esteem on

being right, you might reform your picture of yourself into that of one who, above all, wants

to find the truth.” (Loc. 325-329). This quote was based on the topic of listening with

openness, and it defines that many times we get caught up in this game of being wrong or

right, this can play out greatly on our self-esteem as sometimes we live in this fear of feeling

stupid. Going back to those questions self-esteem can also be defined as the fear of how the

world around us see us, also as the fear of being wrong or right. This fears interfere with our

self-worth as we allow it to take part on our ability to communicate with others. A person

who are shy with low self-esteem tends to not disclose themselves on the fear of being

wrong, this fear takes away empowerment and self-worth.

In these readings I was able to explore what scholars think about self-esteem, and

how this plays important part on our day to day life. Self-esteem affects decisions,

communication, and how we see the world around us in response to the three questions. In

the following section I will exploring what people I have the opportunity to interview thinks
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about the concept of self-esteem in regards of the questions: How do you define self-esteem?

What do you think lowers self-esteem? What do you think raises self-esteem?

Methodology

In this section I will be exploring some background information of the people I have

the opportunity to interview. These people are from different demographical backgrounds

who see self-esteem in accordance to what they have experience in life. The importance of

their life styles is that it reflects what their personal believe on self-esteem.

Participant A

Participant A it’s my cousin Nancy who is a 35 years old women. She migrated from El

Salvador when she was 13 years old. She has 2 kids a boy and a girl. Her boy is now 16 years old

and her little girl is 6 years old. She works as a housekeeper for a rich family. She graduated

from high school and got engage right after. I choose her because, she sharers similar story as I.

We both migrated from the same country, and struggle with cultural shock and language barrier.

We both took different pathways as she started her family at an early age, and I decided to join

the Army. My cousin doesn’t live too far from me. The interview was conducted at the privacy

of her home. At the time of the interview only her 6-year-old daughter was present. We sat at the

dinner table and told her about this school project. Between a conversations about other things

she answered all the questions. The whole conversation took me about 1 hour, but to answer all

this questions it only took her about 5 minutes.

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Participant B

Participant B it’s my cousin Kevin a 25-year-old male. Kevin was born here, but speaks

fluent Spanish. Kevin graduated from California State University Long Beach with a civil

engineering degree. Kevin now works for forest Lawn as an irrigation engineer where he designs

irrigation systems and supervise projects. I choose him because he is one of the few family

members who has a degree. His self-esteem seen pretty steady as he has accomplished things that

most of my other family members haven’t. This interview was conducted over a coffee. We

went to a local Starbucks and talked about other things as well. I told him about my school and

that I was finally finishing my BA. The place was a little crowded but we found a table to have

our conversation. The whole conversation lasted about 1 hour. Kevin took about 15 minutes to

talk about self-esteem.

Participant C

Participant C it’s Jesus a 19-year-old male, who I know from church. He is now working as

an insurance broker. Jesus finished High school, and now is taking a break from school. He is

planning to enroll in college next year to study game designing. Jesus was born here but his

parents are from Mexico. I choose Jesus because he is young, and I wanted to know what the

younger generation thinks about self-esteem. The interview was conducted at church, inside the

sound studio. Jesus is in charge of the sound and video at church. The room sound studio is a

private area at church hardly anyone will walk in uninvited. This was a quick interview since

Jesus was serving at the moment of the interview it took me about 10 minutes to do all the

questions.
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Participant D

Participant D it’s Christine a 29 years old female. She is my coworker who is a blend of

Mexican American, and white. She graduated as a chemist from UC Santa Cruz. She is currently

working as formulation chemist for the same cosmetic company I work for. Knowing her multi-

cultural background and how she grew up in a privilege family in orange county, I was curious

about her answers on self-esteem. The questions were asked while working. We work right next

to each other, so it was easy for me to have a conversation on self-esteem. I didn’t told her it was

for a school project so she wouldn’t give me a text book answers. I didn’t took too long for her

answering all this question, I would said about 15 minutes.

Participant E

Participant E it’s Jeffrey a 36 years old male. Jeffrey like Christine is my coworker. Jeffrey

work as our R&D tech and it’s in charge of organizing the lab. Jeffrey graduated high school and

now it’s taking real estate classes at a junior college. Jeffrey was born here from Mexican

parents. I choose Jeffrey because I know he has a rough past. He struggled with gangs and was

arrested a couple of times before straightening his life. The interview was done over our lunch

break. We went to Costco and have a hot dog, Costco was crowded as usual but this didn’t take

away from the interview. Our lunch break it’s usually an hour, but to answers those questions

didn’t take too long I will said about 10 minutes.

As we can see they all have different backgrounds, and this background have influence

on their concept of self-esteem. In the following sections I will be sharing my findings on

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regards of the three questions: How do you define self-esteem? What do you think lowers self-

esteem? What do you think raises self-esteem?

Results

In this section I will be sharing my findings on the three questions: How do you define

self-esteem? What do you think lowers self-esteem? What do you think raises self-esteem? Each

of the participants have the same opportunity to share and explore these questions and answered

accordantly to their belief. The interviews were done in safe areas were the interviewers were

allow to share openly about their belief on self-esteem.

Participant A (Nancy)

The interview went smoothly, Nancy was very open and relaxed about answering all three

questions. The first question I asked was "How do you define self-esteem? She responded “self-

esteem it’s a state of feeling good about yourself, whenever I do things for myself like getting

my hair done, or putting on makeup feeling beautiful that what self-esteem its’s for me” After

opening about self-esteem she knew what my second question was going to be and did not

hesitate to answered the following questions "What do you think lowers self-esteem?" She said

"Whenever I don’t fixed myself, I feel ugly, you know whenever I go out I like to fix myself, if

people sees me without makeup I feel awkward and that lower my self-esteem “the final question

I asked was" What do you think raises self-esteem?" with a smile in her face she shared, "

Whenever someone makes me feel special, if someone brings me flowers or compliments me on

how beautiful I look that makes my day and brings my self-esteem up.”
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Participant B (Kevin)

My cousin Kevin who strive for higher education was also very open to answer all the

three questions. The first question I asked him was "How do you define self-esteem? He said

“Self-esteem it’s how I feel about myself it’s reasonable to said that external influences might

change this” The second question I asked was "What do you think lowers self-esteem?" He

responded "There are external influences I cannot control but whenever I’m having a difficult

day at work sometimes might influence on my esteem “Lastly I asked him about "What do you

think raises self-esteem?" He shared that “Whenever I’m feeling down I like to meditate and

read, I also like working out, this makes me feel great back again"

Participant C (Jesus)

It is fascinating to explore what do the younger generation thinks about self-esteem.

Generation this days are growing around so many outside forces that influence their concept of

self-esteem. Forces such as social media which inundates and influence this generation with

ideas of how they should look and perceived themselves on regards of esteem. I asked Jesus,

"How do you define self-esteem? He responded “Self-esteem it’s in relation to peer pressure,

self-esteem it’s when I feel accepted by others and I feel good about myself.” The second

question I asked Jesus was "What do you think lowers self-esteem?" He shared that "Whenever I

disappoint one of my friends or my mom I feel bad about myself “The last questions I have the

opportunity to ask was "What do you think raises self-esteem?" He said that, "When I was in

school getting good grades and making my mom happy, now it’s whenever I make a good sale

that makes me feel good and my self-esteem improves.”

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Participant D (Christine)

I know Christine for a few years now, her concept of self-esteem is in regards of what she

had the opportunity to see at home growing up. The first question I asked Christine was, "How

do you define self-esteem? She responded “Self-esteem is feeling worthy like valuing you

believes and morals and who you are as a person.” The second question I asked was, "What do

you think lowers self-esteem?" She shared that "I usually set boundaries on or about everything

I do in life, so whenever someone makes me violate those boundaries lower myself worth, for

example if a person I esteem like a boyfriend as a testament of love force me to violate my

boundaries this will lower my self-esteem “Finally I asked , "What do you think raises self-

esteem?" She said that, " believing in yourself and what you do will definitely bring your self-

esteem up, I just ran the LA marathon finishing in under 5 hours brought my self-esteem up "

Participant E (Jeffrey)

Jeffrey had a rough childhood the answers he shared were based on this experiences

growing up. The first question I asked was "How do you define self-esteem? He said “self-

esteem it’s what your parents give you, if you were born in a dysfunctional family your self-

esteem will be lower if you live with both of your parents you will have good self-esteem all

depends what kind of life you have.” The second question I have the opportunity to ask was,

"What do you think lowers self-esteem?" He responded "All depends how you were raised, I

think if your parents shame you it will lower a kid’s self-esteem, or if you were peer pressured in

school to do the wrong things that brings your value down “ The last question was "What do you
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think raises self-esteem?" He shared that, "I always tell my daughter to finish school, I believe

self-esteem can be raises whenever you do good things in life like going to school or getting into

a good paying job".

Each of the participant that shared their answers also shared their gratitude towards the

project. They were all grateful to have explored their own views of self-esteem, as many of them

have never really thought about this concept and how impactful self-esteem is on their life. In the

next section I will be evaluating each of the findings to include my own concept of the three

questions asked, the findings on the readings, and findings on the interviews.

Analysis

The self-esteem project gave us an unique opportunity to explore what really self-esteem

means, and how this concept can really change and affects peoples life. This unique opportunity

gave us an open door to explore our own concept of what self-esteem is, it also gave us the

opportunity to explore what scholars think about this concept, and the opportunity to explore

what others think self-esteem is and can do in their life.

My concept of self-esteem I can see that there is a clear definition that self-esteem is

something we learn from our early stages of development, and that the environment we grow in

has a lot to do with what I believe self-esteem is. Growing up I consider myself to be shy, it

never cross my mind that I have low self-esteem. Having this opportunity to learn more about

this concept has open my eyes on what really happen in early developmental stages. The

environment we grow in affects our self-worth even though self-esteem comes from our own self

and views self-worth, many of these believes on this topic have develop from when we were
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young. If we were shame, ridicule, and left down growing up, this is the concept we have of self-

worth. In the other hand if we live in a home where we were praised and allowed to have

independence we definitely grow with the concept that everything we do is worthy and we

learned to believe in our self.

Scholars also shared the same concept of self-esteem in regards of developmental stages.

In the readings I shared many shared that self-esteem comes from confidence, empowerment,

and the believe of worthiness being right or wrong on our communication. Self-esteem plays out

in a lot of day to day decisions and this is very important to be acknowledge. The importance of

self-esteem in our day to day life is that it influences our decisions, many people would not strive

to be better in life because of low self-esteem. People who worked their life of in jobs that don’t

require the use of higher intelligence due to their lack of self-esteem, now because they are not

smart but because they have a low concept of themselves. Many loose the opportunity to share

great ideas because of the feeling of rejection.

Lastly the view of people on self-esteem from different aspects of life gave me a good

insight that self-esteem it is something that many don’t really think about but when reminded

they seen to give a deep meaning on how self-esteem shapes they day to day decisions. For what

I can conclude from the interviews is that the concept of self-esteem correlates with our

surroundings, how we grew up what decisions we make all influence self-esteem. How we feel

physically, morally, mentally, and spiritually are all connected to self-esteem.

In conclusion the self-esteem project gave me a unique opportunity to explore different

aspects of self-esteem. There was a general feeling that self-esteem influences our day to day

decision, and communication. There was also a general conclusion that self-esteem can also be
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altered by how we perceived the view of our self by others. Self-esteem is a sensitive topic many

don’t think about how self-esteem can influence their life. Through this project I have the

opportunity to create this awareness not just for me but for others. It was very empowering

answering the three question and having to evaluate my stand of self-esteem, and exploring how

this concept has shaped my life and others.

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References

Deniz, M. E. (2006). THE RELATIONSHIPS AMONG COPING WITH STRESS, LIFE SATISFACTION,
DECISION-MAKING STYLES AND DECISION SELF-ESTEEM: AN INVESTIGATION WITH TURKISH
UNIVERSITY STUDENTS. Social Behavior & Personality: An International Journal, 34(9), 1161-
1170.

Miller, S., E. . The User's Guide to Being Human: The Art and Science of Self (Kindle
Locations 359-361). Select Books, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

McKay, M. Messages: The Communication Skills Book (Kindle Locations 325-329).

New Harbinger Publications. Kindle Edition.