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How TRUMP Made Chickens of the GOP M A N AT HI S B E ST

SEPTEMBER ’18
By Ryan Lizza

The TOM WOLFE,


ESQUIRE, and
Varoom! Varoom!
ToM The B I R T H
OF AN AMERICAN
HaRDY
By Eric Sullivan
Original

INSIDE the
Matt
Lauer --NBC
Meltdown
HappY
20th,
By David Usborne
VIAGRA!
THE STRANGE Story
of How a, Um,
Hard Sell Became a PILL
The Suit WORTH BILLIONS
By David Kushner
Will
NEVER
Surrender
Look—YOU
CAN EVEN SWIM
IN ONE!

H2Uh-Oh: The Coming WATER Crisis


By Alec Wilkinson
calvinklein.com/205
The Breitling Jet Squad
Jacques Bothelin
Christophe Deketelaere
Paco Wallaert

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The Big Bite
prise is backed by Nordstrom, a company with more 39 The Simpsons’ creator extends his cartoon mul-
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century’s longest autobiography is a must-read.

57 The Code
The sweater that punches up any outit; rock-
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looking better; how Ansel Elgort got his style.

Full Disclosure
78 By Ryan Lizza
With the GOP acting like a personality
cult, is there anything President Trump could
do to lose party support?

Unconventional Wisdom
81 By Dwight Garner
Ten artists, writers, and other creative inspira-
tions you might not know . . . but need to.

84 Cherry
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p hot ogra p hs : Jeffrey Westbrook S eptember 2018_Esquire 29


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A B R I E F M O N T H LY E X PA N S I O N O N
A TO P I C E X P LO R E D I N T H E I S S U E
The neutrality of this information is disputed. And rightfully so. By Drew Dernavich
CONTENTS F E AT U R E S

2018 Mavericks of Style


Leather is a durable and lexible material made from the only 93 Eight men (and one woman) who prove there’s
part of an animal that you can’t ind at a Golden Corral bufet: a lot to be said for dressing dangerously.
the hide. Cowhide is the most
The Peacock Patriarchy
common material used, since 104 By David Usborne
cows are the animal with the Matt Lauer’s axing from NBC has raised unset-
most naturally occurring zip- tling questions about the network’s leadership.

pers and buckles. Leather has


The Wild One
long been a popular choice for 110 By Eric Sullivan
making clothing, accounting On a tour of his hometown, the enigmatic Tom
Hardy revealed his personal side to the author.
for almost 50 percent of all
Village People costumes worldwide. Wearing a leather coat Lighting the Bonfire
supposedly projects the same image of youthful rebellion as 118 By Tom Wolfe
an Italian sectional sofa. Although new leather can be stif, it Excerpts from one of the greatest magazine
writers who ever lived.
can be broken in gradually by acting as a
cowboy in erectile- Face Mask
dysfunction ads. THE MOST ICONIC
122 The latest pieces from these designer labels are so
LEATHER ITEMS IN fresh you won’t have to rely on your good looks.
In addition to FILM HISTORY
clothing, leather Drip . . . Drip . . . Drip
is frequently used 132 By Alec Wilkinson
Tom Cruise’s Experts are worried that we’re running out of
in making books Top Gun usable water. How do we keep it lowing?
Corinthian leather is a
and journals, like leather jacket
product of the Greek city- the one used by 138 All Rise
state of Corinth, which By David Kushner
occupied the interior of the
the writer who
Laurence The story of how the duo behind Viagra popped
Chrysler LeBaron just asked you if the top on a $3-billion-a-year industry.
from 1974 to 1988. Fishburne’s
you wanted room Matrix
Henry Goes to Hollywood
for milk. trench coat 142 By Kevin Sintumuang
Leather is produced in a tannery, Crazy Rich Asians star Henry Golding is possibly
where the hide is scraped with a the luckiest actor in the history of Tinseltown.
Clint
hide-leshing knife and bathed in toxic
Eastwood’s
chromium salts in a process called face ON THE COVER
a “daily skin-care regimen” by most TO M H A R DY
PHOTOGRAPHED BY GREG WILLIAMS FOR ESQUIRE
men. People who disapprove of leather How TRUMP Made Chickens of the GOP M A N AT HI S B E ST
SEPTEMBER ’18
M A N AT HI S B E ST
SEPTEMBER ’18
By Ryan Lizza

may consider Naugahyde, which is the University of Phoenix The TOM WOLFE,
ESQUIRE, and
of clothing materials. ToM Varoom! Varoom!
the B I R T H
ToM
Y
HaRDY
OF AN AMERICAN
Original D
By Eric Sullivan

H aR
INSIDE the
Matt
Lauer--NBC
Meltdown
HappY
20th,
By David Usborne
VIAGRA!
THE STRANGE Story
of How a, Um,
Hard Sell Became a PILL
The Suit WORTH BILLIONS The May
hem an
Will
By David Kushner
dM Y
ST E RY L
NEVER BE
Surrender od RE
Look—YOU ywo
CAN EVEN SWIM Holl
IN ONE! uine lli va n

Gen
ic Su
By Er
of a

H2Uh-Oh: The Coming WATER Crisis


By Alec Wilkinson

Left: Suit and shirt by Gucci; vintage tie, stylist’s own.


Right: Coat and trousers by Giorgio Armani; T-shirt by
Armani Exchange. Production by Rosie Smith Oliver.
Styling by Nicole Schneider. Grooming by Jennifer Hearty.

30 Se pt e m b e r 2 018 _ E sq u ire
this Way In

Suit by Hugo; shirt, shoes, and socks by Boss.

MAVERICKS OF STYLE
JOHN MULANEY
H A S T H E S H A R P E ST
W I T I N C O M E DY

PaGE 93

3 2 Se pt e m b e r 2 018 _ E sq u ire photo graph : C aitlin C ro nenberg


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D EF I NE YO U

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The Bronze Age of Television


this Way In

country was in a familiar state of feverish con-


vulsion—Watergate, the oil crisis, the Roe v.
Wade decision, Vietnam, race riots. It was a
creed, as he wrote, that had gotten the mag-
azine through “the depression of the 1930s,
the war of the 1940s, through the Silent Gen-
eration, the Beat Generation, the Flower Gen-
eration, the Revolution Generation, the Pro-
bation Generation, the Salvation Generation,
and the current Urethritic Ooze Generation,
through tank tops, bell bottoms, race wars, gap-
ing beavers, and recessions.” Somewhere in Wolfe, circa 1970, at the Leo Castelli
there, we have lately surmised here at Esquire, Gallery—a rare photograph of him
were planted the seeds of the iPhone Genera- not sporting one of his bespoke white suits.
tion, the MAGA Generation, the Gender Neu-
tral Generation, the Woke Generation, Black
Lives Matter, Digital Disruption, Bernie Bros, newspapers in the early 1960s, told me a few
#MeToo, #TimesUp, tattoo sleeves, athleisure, days after he died. “It is never easy to be friends
fur-lined loafers, and hot-desking. An attitude with writers, but not so with Tom.” In the lit-
THE FANTASTIC of bracing intelligence that aims to amuse still
seems a sure way to help our readers keep put-
tle time I spent with him, I could see the irony
was true: He could skewer anyone, but he was
MR. WOLFE ting one foot in front of the other.
The last time I saw Tom was the irst time
essentially a southern gent.
In honor of Wolfe, we have put together a
Au revoir to the last great gentleman assassin we had lunch. I’d had a spotty correspondence small but essential selection of pieces in this is-
with him over the years, but now that I was at sue that stretches almost the entire three de-
Esquire, he couldn’t resist. We met at Café Bou- cades he pumped essays, reportage, and iction
The Kingdom of Speech, Tom Wolfe’s inal lud, a white-tablecloth box of black enamel and into our pages. The three that appear here trace a
book, was about language. Apes can com- mirror that had a Bonfire of the Vanities vibe, primary branch of New Journalism’s trajectory.
municate, Darwin noticed; so can dolphins. social X-rays at the surrounding tables and all. “There Goes (Varoom! Varoom!) That Kandy
Does that make them like us? According to Drinking an iced tea, asking me what I thought Kolored (Thphhh-hhh!) Tangerine-Flake
Wolfe, the answer wasn’t just no but, as he “conit” was in reference to the menu, he was Streamline Baby. . . .,”written in 1963, might
might put it, noooooooo!!!!! Humans and apes a courtly and warm companion, zinging ideas have been his irst for Esquire, but it already
may both have opposable thumbs, but what about in a voice that was just above a whisper. shows what Wolfe could do when he irst be-
makes us unique is our invention of language. In his white suit, he wore a pocket square dot- gan to break free from the stultifying norms
Wolfe himself was unique as a writer for how he ted with the mustachioed face of Esky, Esquire’s of mid-twentieth-century magazine writing.
handled that very thing, giving his prose sound mascot. I had sent it to him for Christmas. “I was The novel as the be-all and end-all of liter-
efects, explosive charge, elastic energy, and the hoping you’d notice that,” he said, pulling out a ary accomplishment was waning; real life had
illusion of improvisation. folded-up sketch he’d done as a thank-you note. somehow become too big and chaotic for ic-
No one else sounded quite like him or had “It’s not quite there, but I’ll send it to you when tion to grapple with. Steeped in the tricks of the
the cojones to poke a walking stick into the sa- it is.” The food arrived, but we talked more than iction trade but trained as a newspaper jour-
cred cultural beehives he did. In The Painted we ate. We even hit upon an idea before I helped nalist, Wolfe, who never seemed to forget that
Word, he declared that art had “disappeared up get him a cab some three hours later. Emails all humans are just gloriied talking apes, stum-
its own fundamental aperture.” When Mailer here and there followed, and then the sad news. bled upon a new tool. The result—fact-based
insulted his choice of wardrobe, Wolfe, who “I consider myself especially lucky to have pieces crafted into yarns of riveting drama—
considered him a gork, replied: “The lead dog been his close friend for more than a half cen- changed the future of journalism and places him
is the one they always try to bite in the ass.” tury,” Gay Talese, who met Wolfe when they in the pecking order where he deserves to be. At
Writing about the high-church rituals of The were city reporters for competing New York the top!! Full stop!!! —Jay F I E L D E N
New Yorker, in 1965, he said it all in the title:
“Tiny Mummies! the True Story of the Ruler
of 43rd Street’s Land of the Walking Dead.”
Belonging to a group—or starting one—
wasn’t his thing. He was, as his last name im-
plied, a lone species. For a time, though, perhaps
a longer one than anywhere else, Wolfe, who
was eighty-eight when he died this past spring,
considered himself an Esquire writer. Where
else could such a born iconoclast ind a lasting
home but among like-minded literary outsiders
who spent their creative capital not just on the
page but on their wardrobes. He described the
magazine as a “carnival of contrariness,” which
wasn’t a diss but a self-relexive compliment.
In 1973, the year Wolfe wrote that, the “The results show your masculinity to be benign, but let’s keep an eye on it.”

3 6 Se pt e m b e r 2 018 _ E sq u ire photo graph : A lexei Hay


TV

BE ST.
CAREER .
EVER . Matt Groening will forever be known as the guy
behind The Simpsons, now the longest-running
he creator of THE SIMPSONS prime-time scripted series in television history. Hey, a
and FUTURAMA extends guy could do worse. But the 64-year-old former cartoon-
ist has never been one to rest on his Emmys: Groening
his cartoon multiverse into the remains intimately involved with every episode of his
realm of hard-drinking best-known show (639 at this writing) and has spent
the past several years developing a new animated se-
princesses and neurotic elves ries called Disenchantment (debuting this month on
By Dan Hyman Netlix), set in the mythical kingdom of Dreamland.
Amid a typically busy day shuttling between the
L.A. studios where his shows are made, Groening spoke
with Esquire about the origins of Disenchantment, his
love of Bollywood, and the secret to The Simpsons’
Montgomery Burns–like longevity. c ont i nu e d ▶

illustration: Matt G ro e n i n g S eptember 2018_Esquire 39


the Big Bite

c on ti nu ed ▶ Dan Hyman: What inspires someone with the culture has become
three decades of success to say, “I’m going to start from crasser but also more po-
He’s Matt
square one”? litically correct. Are the
Groening.
Matt Groening: I just love creating new worlds. I’ve been shifting boundaries of
Who the Hell
fascinated since I was a kid by fantasy maps and old Dell humor in 2018 something
Are You?
crime paperbacks that had maps on the back covers. you considered?
There was a very spooky poster from 1930 that hung in MG: You never know. You Hometown:
the den of my parents’ house called “The Land of Make work for a couple years on Portland, Oregon
Believe,” by an artist named Jaro Hess. It scared the something and you don’t Early work:
hell out of me, but I loved it. I actually tracked it down know what it’s going to be The alternative comic strip
and hung it in my kitchen to scare my children. But it’s or how it’s going to be per- Life in Hell, which
always been an inspiration to me. I mean, The Simpsons ceived. That’s the hardest ran from 1980 to 2012
is its own parallel universe, and certainly Futurama is thing about animation, Inspirations:
the same thing. And now Disenchantment is a third one. by the way: getting the Charles Schulz, Walt Disney
DH: How long did it take for this particular universe to tone right. Especially in a
Emmys:
take shape in your head? Eskpertise world that is completely
36 nominations, 11 wins
MG: I started a notebook full of ideas for the show in made-up. The challenge
2012...or maybe a little earlier. Every time I thought of becomes whether you Side hustle:
a diferent kind of fantasy trope, I’d write it down and can get people to climb Played cowbell for
see if there was a way of sticking it in the show. I have lists on board and make them the Rock Bottom
of every kind of small mythical forest creature: gnomes, forget for a moment or Remainders (bandmates
included Stephen
fairies, imps, goblins, gremlins, trolls, plus a bunch that two that they’re watching
King and Amy Tan)
I can’t remember right now. It’s all there in the note- a cartoon and get caught
book. But it’s hard. If you want to tell jokes about elves up in the feelings. World events predicted by
and dragons and so on and so forth, pretty soon you re- Paradoxically, as I get The Simpsons:
alize, Oh, every single dragon joke has already been made. older, I am less interested Donald Trump’s presidency,
DH: But you always intended to create another ani- in fantasy and more inter- self-driving
trucks, Disney’s pending
mated series? ested in reality. And by re-
First rule of fashion: acquisition of Fox
MG: Oh, yeah. I think about ideas for diferent TV shows ality, I mean real emotions.
If you want it,
all the time. What holds me back is knowing how hard it The trappings of the show
you can’t afford it.
is to actually pull them of, and whether I really want to I’m amused by, but what really gets me going is the stuf
commit myself to something that keeps on going. You with heart.
know, my comic strip Life in Hell lasted 33 years. The DH: Obviously being on a platform like Netflix, as
Simpsons is 29 years and running. Futurama didn’t last opposed to network TV, gives you more freedom.
as long. [It ran for seven nonconsecutive seasons.] So I MG: I still think about boundaries, because there are
have to really want to do it for me to plow forward. some. Actually, one of the nice things about conventional
DH: I hear you drew inspiration from some rather television is that the boundaries are clear on what you
obscure sources for Disenchantment. can show and what you can say. With Netlix, they’re
MG: I don’t think they’re obscure, but other people very encouraging for us to do whatever we want to do.
could consider them obscure. So in a given show there Still, we found early on that there’s a certain kind of dirty
might be homages to Buster Keaton and to an Indian joke that within this show just didn’t feel right. But who’s
ilmmaker named S.S. Rajamouli, who has made some to know what people will be bothered by?
of my favorite ilms of the last decade. I particularly rec- DH: As of this past April, The Simpsons became the
ommend a movie called Magadheera. I’m getting very longest-running prime-time scripted show in television
obscure now. But this stuf just makes me so happy. HERE BE LULZ history. How much longer do you see it going?
DH: When it irst aired, The Simpsons was viewed as Disenchantment’s Bean, MG: The work itself is very real. There’s very little strut-
wildly subversive and even controversial. Since then, Luci, and Elfo. ting around the studio saying, “Look how long we’ve
been on the air!” It’s mostly just doing the job, and it’s
really fun. And if I could point out something about
The Simpsons that the general fans might not know: It
has turned into a forum for diferent kinds of animated
humor. There’s not a single kind of joke. We do jokes
that are about animation, we do parodies, we do topi-
cal humor, we do family-sitcom jokes, we do all kinds of
diferent approaches to humor. And as a result, it’s not
the same as what it used to be. But to me, it’s also not
repetitious, because we’re always exploring new things.
illustration: Ben Schwartz

Banksy did the storyboards for a couch gag.


DH: Given that you don’t do many interviews, I get the
sense you would rather people know your work than the
man behind it.
MG: Oh, yeah. This is the best kind of fame. If I looked
like Bart Simpson, it’d all be over for me.

40 Se pt e m b e r 2 0 1 8 _ E sq u ire
PROMOTION

BY INVITATION ONLY
ESQUIRE & PATRÓN TEQUILA TOAST THE
BEST BARS IN AMERICA 2018
Esquire Food & Drinks Editor Jef Gordinier and Culture & Lifestyle
Director Kevin Sintumuang co-hosted an exclusive event celebrating our
ever-growing list of the best bars in America.
The event was held at George Washington Bar in New York City, one of the
2018 honorees, and guests enjoyed custom Patrón cocktails made special
for the evening by head bartender Ben Rojo.
the Big Bite

SPORTS

A (LEGAL ) NFL BET TOR ’S GUIDE


he federal prohibition on sports betting has been axed, and
you’re now free to . . . continue what you were doing all along. Herewith, we handicap
some NFL bets you’ll see this fall. By Brady Langmann
WHO WILL WIN THE SUPER BOWL? OVER/UNDER
Everyone’s favorite
pseudoscientist, Tom 87.5 National-anthem-related Trump tweets leading up
to midterm elections
Brady, isn’t retiring
without another ring. 60 Inane group laughter in minutes per Fox broadcast
The TB12 Method
Pittsburgh Philadelphia Los Angeles
Patriots Steelers Eagles sequel won’t sell itself! 25 Times Roger Goodell utters the statement “There is no
Rams
6–1 8–1 10–1 12–1 greater priority than protecting the integrity of our sport”

WHO WILL HEADLINE THE We can write 5 Times Jerry Jones makes an empty threat
to sue the NFL
off “This Is America”
playing anywhere near 16 NFL owners who are named as defendants in
an NFL stadium. cheerleaders’ harassment suits
Parlay Taylor Swift
with an Ed 10 Heckling children Cam Newton attempts to fist-fight
Sheeran cameo.
.5 Games won by the Cleveland Browns

Taylor Childish 3 Average minutes Odell Beckham Jr. spends per


Swift Rihanna Drake Gambino Baker Mayfield has a touchdown celebration
2–1 25–1 50–1 100–1
YouTube-able arrest video
and once grabbed his 15 Games in which Aaron Rodgers will have to single-handedly
WHO WILL BE JOHNNY MANZIEL’S crotch while screaming LeBron his team to mediocrity
BRO APPARENT? “Fuck you!” at an
opponent’s sideline. 7 Sponsors that go the way of Papa John’s and part with

Yes, Cam Newton really


confronted schoolkids at
Panthers minicamp. You
can safely bet the over YES OR NO?
Baker Josh Josh Sam on all of these (except on
Mayfield Rosen Allen Darnold Browns wins, of course).
4–1 8–1 30–1 45–1 Fox finally dumps the discount
from its broadcasts.

There’s nothing quite like Roger Goodell institutes a Fortnite ban in NFL
locker rooms.
quarterback privilege.
Big Ben got a mulligan
Ndamukong Suh is the first player suspended under
for his sexual-assault the new helmet-targeting rule.
allegations—our money’s
on that not lasting long. Rob Gronkowski executes another late MMA-style
cheap shot yet remains a fan favorite.
Now that he can gamble, your suburban-dad-
We wouldn’t be turned-wannabe-Soprano buddy suddenly starts
Ben Jameis Ezekiel Richie dropping the word vig into casual conversation.
Roethlisberger Winston Elliott Incognito surprised if the NFL
6–1 9–1 15–1 20–1 continued to follow the As the MAGA faithful shame kneeling players and
way of the presidency. the #ImWithHers shame the NFL for shaming
WHICH TEAM’S FANS WILL HAVE If anything seems kneeling players, party lines temporarily cease to
THE MOST ARRESTS AT A SINGLE inconceivable to you— exist as both sides call for an NFL boycott.
bet that it’ll happen.
A playoff game is decided by a
poorly worded catch rule. But hey,
that’s football!
Philly built a drinking mall
smack in the middle of The upcoming Child’s Play reboot casts Jon Gruden
its three major sports as Chucky’s humanoid father.
Philadelphia Buffalo Cincinnati Seattle stadiums. Don’t count out
Eagles Bills Bengals Seahawks an Eagles fan who’s ten The NFL catches a referee point-shaving, the gam-
3–1 10–1 18–1 40–1 Yuenglings deep. bling ban is reinstated, and none of this matters.

42 Se pt e m b e r 2 018 _E sq u ire Contributor: Walker S. Schneider


the Big Bite

LAFFS

HACK MY LIFE
How to pick the perfect golf umbrella for the city By Joe Keohane

5. For instance, are you the kind of


1. First, make sure you need a asshole who merely prioritizes his
golf umbrella. Does it rain fre- auto-open golf umbrella, for ease of own comfort over the comfort of Otherwise, some part of you might
quently in your city? If not, are you use, and a light, durable shaft. While everyone else? get wet! And what’s the point of a golf
highly sensitive to the sun? Do you a leather handle is nice, a rubber one umbrella if even a single drop of rain
need everyone in the city to know will work just as well and last even 6. Or are you the kind of asshole comes in contact with a single part of
that you play golf? If the answer to longer. Finally, look for a wind-tested who gets off on pointless gestures your body, or a stitch of your cloth-
any of these questions is yes, you golf umbrella with a double-layer that force others to react to you? ing, or a hair on your precious hand?
need a golf umbrella. canopy. That will stand up to those Here’s the answer, pal: There is no
unpredictable city gusts and inevi- 7. Or maybe you’re simply the point. You may as well walk into the
2. What color would you like your table pedestrian collisions. kind of asshole who just wants to sea and fuckin’ die.
golf umbrella to be? They come in harm people?
an array of colors—from the tradi- 4. Next, ask yourself what kind of 10. So get the golf umbrella. Go big.
tional black and navy to more color- fucking asshole you are. Because it 8. The answers to these ques- Get the one with all the spokes jutting
ful options such as green and white. goes without saying that you have tions will determine the size of your out at eye level and a big, sharp pike
Since you’ll be taking up an entire a malfunctioning supramarginal golf umbrella. on top. This is America, bub, and in
sidewalk while using yours in the city, gyrus—the part of the cerebral cor- America we say fuck everyone else.
make sure the color suits your style tex responsible for basic human 9. Just kidding! No, they won’t. Fuck ’em all. What matters is that big
and sensibility. empathy and self-awareness. But You’re going to get the biggest boy stays dry. Big boy stays dry! Big
just how malfunctioning? golf umbrella there is, aren’t you? boy stays dry!
3. What features would you like? Of course you are. Five feet wide
We’d recommend a push-button at least. Bigger if you can get it.

44 Se pt e m b e r 2 0 1 8 _E sq u ire illustration: T imothy K re ider


the Big Bite

FOOD

WOKE E ATS
In SAN FRANCISCO, a new kind
of restaurant business is
injecting CULTURAL DIVERSITY
into the land of tech luxocrats
By Jef Gordinier
How much do I love jerk chicken? True story: A
few months ago, while my wife was in the hospi-
tal enduring hours of labor as she prepared to give
birth to our twin boys, my mind kept taking a U-turn
back to the little Jamaican restaurant that I had spied
around the corner. As we waited and listened to our
hospital playlist, I became hungrier and hungrier day-
dreaming about the lavors of Jamaica. Finally, Lauren
uttered the magic words—“go for it”—and I dashed
over to Caribbean Thyme for a platter of jerk chicken
with plantains and rice and an extra spoonful of oxtail
gravy. After all, there were babies on the way.
I mention this story because I had the same reac-
tion earlier this year when I was in San Francisco. I
heard that there was a new restaurant, Kaya, special-
izing in the food and drink of Jamaica. I was psyched.
I was also surprised, because Kaya turned out to have
a pretty tony address. Launched by chef Nigel Jones, it
opened at 1420 Market Street, across the street from
the corporate headquarters of both Uber and Twitter.
Now, there’s no reason organic jerk chicken and
oxtail stew shouldn’t be available within walk-
ing distance of Bay Area technology titans. (If the

46 Se pt e m b e r 2 0 1 8 _ E sq u ire illustration: e Boy


© 2018 Tyson Foods, Inc.
the Big Bite

coders ever leave their cocoons, Kaya is a ine place to


unwind.) It’s just that this type of restaurant is having a
very hard time getting a foothold in San Francisco these
days. Rents have become nauseatingly high. Tech-
fueled gentrification has dramatically reduced the
city’s African-American population. “People are feel-
ing displaced and under siege,” Jones told me when I
dropped in. Michelin-starred tasting menus may be
flourishing, but chefs like Jones, who’s got another
casual Jamaican spot, Kingston 11, over the bridge
in Oakland, tend to come up against insurmountable
challenges when they need to raise capital.
Yet Kaya represents a business model that’s based
as much on multicultural potential as it is on proits.
Jones’s partner in the enterprise is Daniel Patterson,
DISHING
a socially conscious avatar of California gastronomy DISRUPTION
with an ever-shifting network of restaurants around Above: Chef Nigel Jones.
the Bay Area; chefs including James Syhabout, Katy Right: Jerk chicken and
Millard, and Carlos Salgado have passed through the black-pepper crab. Below:
kitchen at Patterson’s Coi, a North Beach gem that he scene at Kaya.
boasts three Michelin stars. Patterson, who turns 50
this year, is moving in an intriguing direction. He is
putting his money where his mouth is when it comes
to supporting female and minority chefs by teaming
up with them to build restaurants whose path to suc- have.” What if chefs like Jean-
cess, without his intervention, would potentially be as Georges Vongerichten and ADVENTURES
steep and twisty as Lombard Street. Eskpertise Thomas Keller started using in S nack ing

A few months back, Patterson knew he had to close their clout and cash not to WANT ICE
one of his restaurants, Alta, at 1420 Market Street, expand their own empires, per
but he still had a lease. “Instead of giving up the lease, se, but to give young voices a CREAM WITH
he approached me and said, ‘Hey, I love your food,’ ” platform of their own? THOSE FRIES?
Jones remembers. “ ‘Why don’t we think about a col- For decades, of course,
laboration?’ Daniel is the establishment, so to speak, young cooks have endured
but he has reached out to say, ‘How can I open the merciless hours by the stove
door for other people?’ ” Patterson has since gone on while their star-chef employ-
to do the same thing for two other businesses: Dyafa, ers have tiptoed off to tape
a Middle Eastern restaurant in Oakland whose chef is Second rule of fashion: TV shows. W hat Patter-
Reem Assil; and Besharam, inside a San Francisco art If you can’t son is doing is different; it’s It’s not often that a bar snack
space called the Minnesota Street Project, where chef afford it, fake it. more akin to Brian Eno twid- delivers shock and nostalgia
at the same time, but the
Heena Patel serves Indian fare. dling knobs behind the scenes
pièce de résistance at Ludlow
Is it foolishly idealistic to imagine that a few to help guide Talking Heads Liquors in Chicago does just
modest restaurants could make an impact on the to greatness. Jones, Assil, that. Courtesy of chef Nick
cultural vibrancy of a major metropolis? Maybe not. and Patel have creative con- Jirasek (who operates under
“My hope is that if it’s successful, other people will trol over the cooking, decor, the moniker Old Habits), it’s
say, ‘Oh, this is a good business model,’ ” Patterson and music at Kaya, Dyafa, and a frosty scoop of vanilla
told me. “If a lot of people did this, it would change Besharam, but they can count ice cream accompanied by a
our country. I think it’s important not to underes- on someone like Aaron Paul, heap of hot french fries and
timate the efect that one person in one place can the beverage guru at Patter- a generous pour of gravy that
son’s Alta Group, for insights tastes like your grandma’s
pot roast. Sweet, salty, meaty,
on wine, beer, and cocktails.
and weird. Let’s make that
It remains to be seen whether a double. —J. G.
these modest woke restaurants
will make a dent in thwarting
San Francisco’s mutation into a generic play-
ground for venture-capital luxocrats, but hey,
it’s worth a try.
“We’ve been able to create one of those melting-pot
spaces in Oakland,” Jones says. “You see everybody—
illustration: Ben Schwartz

black, white, straight, gay. And I love that. And I really


want that to happen here.” Kaya is named after a Bob
Marley album, and Jones ofers up a quote from that
greatest of Jamaican bards: “None but ourselves can
free our minds.”

48 September 2018_Esquire photo graphs : Jake Stangel


LOOKS GREAT. TASTES BETTER.
Great taste. Only 96 calories.

MILLER LITE. HOLD TRUE.


the Big Bite

I’ve followed truthers (9/11 was a “false lag” op)


BOOKS
and birthers (Obama was Kenyan-born). I’ve choked

HIDDEN HAND down my disgust at “Pizzagate,” the conspiracy pro-


moted by Alex Jones and Mike Cernovich, who pos-
ited (on the basis of zero evidence) that Hillary Clinton
A distressingly timely new was running a child sex ring out of the basement of a
book about the D. C. pizza parlor (which had no basement).
But Milton William Cooper—you might think of
GODFATHER of fake news him as Alex Jones before Alex Jones—no. Cooper had
By Ron Rosenbaum not been on my radar, and I’m grateful to Mark Jacob-
son for Pale Horse Rider, his in-depth portrait of an
Have you heard of William Cooper? I used to inluential conspiracy-theory crank and the beliefs he
think I knew all the big players in conspiracy- insidiously spread to the vulnerable-minded.
theory culture. After all, I was there the summer Two things need to be said here. Yes, there have
after the JFK assassination when Warren Commis- been conspiracies in history. Ask Julius Caesar. Ask
sion “critic” Mark Lane gave a primitive PowerPoint Abraham Lincoln. Allegations of conspiracy shouldn’t
presentation “proving” that someone had Photo- be dismissed out of hand without investigating.
shopped a picture of Lee Harvey Oswald holding his The second thing worth noting is that there are
rile so that the shadow pointed in . . . the wrong direc- scores of brilliant investigators (often called “report-
tion. Which proved . . . I don’t know, but it became an ers”) who are superb at uncovering such genuine con-
iconic data point in JFK conspiracy-theory lore. spiracies. They deserve respect, not disdain, from the
And it was in this very magazine (September fantasists who love to look down their noses from an
’77) that I was able to bring national attention to imagined position of insider knowledge. This is even
the overwrought gothic rituals of the Yale secret more important right now, when the nation is in the
society called Skull and Bones. And to its net- midst of a frenzied debate about what is fact and
work of powerful graduates, who all too many gull- what is fake.
ible souls had come to believe were the secret rulers In Jacobson’s telling, Cooper made his bones with
of the world—along with the Illuminati and the a spectacular claim. He had found a secret docu-
Bilderbergers, of course. I later assembled a team ment in a cabinet somewhere that detailed a turn-
of Yale videographers to clandestinely tape the dra- ing point in the entire history of the planet: a 1954
matic climax of the Bonesmen’s weird “throat summit conference between then-president Dwight
slitting” initiation. D. Eisenhower and “the Aliens,” as Cooper nonspe-

5 0 Se pt e m b e r 2 018 _ E sq u ire photo illustratio n : Max-O-Matic


C r e a t i n g n ew h e i g h t s
The new Montblanc 1858 Geosphere.
Spirit of Mountain Exploration.

montblanc.com/1858
the Big Bite

cifically called them, in which a treaty was signed


between the commander in chief and the outer-
space powers that would allow them to rule the earth
under the cover of Ike.
And then there was Cooper’s claim that he had
solved the Kennedy assassination after viewing a
secret tape that showed that the Secret Service man
driving the death limo in Dallas turned around and
killed JFK by iring a super-special gas-powered gun
in plain view of the people assembled on Dealey Plaza.
(But you knew that.)
Cooper was also a black-helicopter man who pro-
vided some of the ideology for the right-wing militia
movement that produced the Oklahoma City bomber
Timothy McVeigh. People die because of lies like
his. (Cooper himself died in a gunight with local law
enforcement in 2001.) BOOKS
Maybe it’s unstoppable, but I’d argue that the only
way to ight falsehood is with truth. And Jacobson, a WORTH THE
felicitous writer with a talent for deadpan accounts of Crackpot
the ridiculous, does us a service by bringing us as close Nation STRUGGLE
as possible to a igure like Cooper, author of a 1991
book called Behold a Pale Horse, which manages to WHY YOU NEED TO READ THE 21ST
fuse UFOs, Skull and Bones, militia madness, and bib- CENTURY’S LONGEST AUTOBIOGRAPHY
lical apocalypticism (the title is taken from the Book of
Revelation), thereby attracting a large and durable fol- First the stats: six books, 3,600 pages, a million or
lowing of the credulous and the impressionable. Sadly, so words, all revolving around the insights and in-
according to Jacobson, that following has included a securities of a forty-something writer with an asshole
number of well-known rappers, such as the late Tupac 54.3% father, a screwed-up love life, and a fascination with
Shakur and members of the Wu-Tang Clan. of Americans believe 9/11 Adolf Hitler. Not quite a memoir, not exactly a novel,
One comes away from Jacobson’s book thinking he was an inside job. My Struggle made its author, Karl Ove Knausgaard,
was absolutely right to take these people seriously, tabloid-level famous in his native Norway when the
even if one inds their ideas impossible to take seri- irst volume was published in 2009. Since then, the
ously. They represent a large and growing segment of 49.6% legend of the hypersensitive Scandinavian has gone
the voting population, after all. But what makes them think Lee Harvey Oswald international: His unsmiling visage can be found star-
tick? Over years of dealing with their smug know-it-all was a patsy. ing out intensely from bookstore shelves around the
smiles, their condescension toward the pitiful uniniti- world, beckoning new disciples to the cult of Karl Ove.
ated—or “sheeple,” as Cooper would say—I’ve devel- And now we come to Book Six. That’s the title of the
oped a Theory of Conspiracy Theory, which involves inal installment in this alternately dour and ecstatic
two paradoxes. epic, the English translation of which comes out this
First, there is the Arrogance/Ignorance dialectic. month. Conirmed Knausgaardians like me have been
The more ignorant conspiracy-theory proponents are 42.1% drumming our ingers impatiently ever since the re-
of history—and one thing you can be sure of is that think global warming lease of Book Five more than two years ago. We don’t
they have a deeply impoverished knowledge of his- is a hoax. need glowing reviews to convince us that this is the
tory, of the wild, unpredictable, chance-driven course most audacious literary undertaking of our time. We
of events, the frequent irretrievability of certainty get it. We clicked the preorder button months ago.
from the mists of the past one gets from reading, say, So what about the rest of you? The distributor, Ran-
ive versions of the Battle of Hastings—the more they dom House, points out that Book Six, which is espe-
are likely to vaunt their mastery of the secret springs, cially heavy on Hitler musings (Karl’s not a fan, in case
the alleged puppet masters behind it all that make a you were wondering), is particularly relevant given
simpliied plot for simple minds. 27.8% “our current global climate of ascending dictator-
The other paradox might be called Insecurity/Nar- think Antonin Scalia ships.” Hey, fair enough. But the real reason to read
cissism. Many of these theorists are deeply frightened was whacked. Knausgaard is to marvel at how he transforms the mun-
by the world, by their utter lack of comprehension of dane—a trip to the supermarket, a phone call from
historical forces, and in response they put on an air your brother, using the toilet at a friend’s house—into
of superiority as a kind of shield from allowing oth- the momentous. I’d ofer an excerpt to prove the point,
ers to see the panic inside. If their idiocies didn’t dis- but he’s not that sort of author; you enjoy him by the
rupt the politics of the nation or the notion that there chapter rather than the verse. He dispenses with con-
is any such thing as reality, or that it’s worth searching 24.2% temporary iction’s usual lourishes and sleight of hand,
for rather than just making up, we might be tempted think the moon landing opting instead for his own of-kilter kind of confession.
to feel sorry for them. was staged. It’s written magic without the tricks. —Tom Bartlett

52 Sept e m b e r 2 018 _ E sq u ire


DON’T HIDE.
GO SEEK.

Play just got serious in the all-new Toyota Avalon.


Every road is a playground in the Avalon Hybrid Limited. With an impossible-to-miss
available Cognac Leather-trimmed interior and a 14-speaker JBL®* Audio system,
it sounds as good as it looks, no matter where the road takes you.
Let’s Go Places.
the Big Bite

CARS

clear that the Lambo wasn’t some sort of rebadged


Urus By Kevin Sintumuang Audi Q7 crossover, with which it shares many of its
underpinnings. Despite the high ride height, the car re-
Let’s talk sweatpants. To many, it has become mains amazingly lat in corners courtesy of next-level
acceptable to wear the same sporty clothes to the adaptive air suspension. In other words, it handles
gym and the oice. Whether you’re riding high on the like a genuine track star. Accelerate in launch control,
“athleisure” pommel horse or not, it’s easy to under- Eskpertise whomp on the brake pedal, and the biggest, most pow-
stand its lasting appeal. The clothes are comfortable, erful brakes ever found in a production car will make
yet they make you aspire for more—yes, you’re in line any doubts about the Urus’s prowess vanish.
to order a matcha latte, but you could totally be doing While 0 to 60 in 3.6 seconds is fast, it’s not the un-
burpees. Just feel how stretchy these pants are, dude. hinged insanity one normally desires in a Lambo. Does
In the automotive world, the equivalent of the ath- that even matter? The irst year’s production is sold
leisure movement is the crossover, the SUV-esque car out, and for 68 percent of Urus owners, this will be
that’s making sensible sedans a rarity. Loading up at their irst Lamborghini. Comfort has its own gravita-
Costco may be your day-to-day reality when driving tional force that can be stronger than what your ego
one, but should the asphalt underneath suddenly turn wants to scrunch into—getting in and out of a Urus
into rubble, you’ll get that 32-pack of toilet paper home doesn’t require a chiropractor’s note like a low-slung
like it’s the antidote to the zombie apocalypse. Aventador does, but it still delivers thrills.
It’s one of consumerism’s most irresistible cocktails: Maybe the future holds a more crazed Lambo SUV.
real-world practicality with a shot of lifestyle fantasy. Third rule of For now, the downright Germanic Urus, as well as the
You could say that this kind of poseurdom is only fashion: If you can’t upcoming ultraluxe SUVs from the likes of Rolls-Royce
attractive to soccer parents who shop at big-box stores, fake it, own it. and Aston Martin, represents the wish of the super-
but that’s neither fair nor accurate. (What are you, a rich to be, well, basic like the rest of us.
coastal elitist?) The rich are not immune to this potent This is not a diss. I’d totally wear track pants made
illustration: Ben Schwartz; photo illustration: C. J. Robinson

market force. Swiss fashion house Bally sells a $1,500 from nappa leather if I could aford them.
tracksuit. The $750 Balenciaga sock sneaker is among
the most coveted shoes in high fashion. And now, for
$200,000, you can own an SUV from the maker of HOW ELSE CAN $200K MOVE YOU?
some of earth’s most face-melting cars: Lamborghini.
The fast-and-fancy crossover isn’t new. With the
now-16-year-old Cayenne, Porsche proved that a
sports-car maker could build an SUV and not ding
the brand’s heritage. Still, a Lamborghini SUV? 2 Alfa Romeo
Even if you’re clueless about cars, you know that’s
an oxymoron. 16 Trek Madone 9.9s
($12,000 each): The finest
But oh, what’s that in the rearview? It’s your skepti-
tour ($157,300): Travel to goes 0 to 60 in 3.6 carbon superbike money
cism being left behind thanks to 650 hp and 627 ft-lb nine destinations over seconds but for less than can buy. You still have to
of torque. After I took a few laps in the V-8-powered 23 days on a private jet. half the price. pedal, though.

54 Se pt e m b e r 2 018 _ E sq u ire
Hillshire farm® turkey
is slow roasted for hours.
And devoured in seconds.

®©2017 TYSON FOODS, INC.

At Hillshire Farm , right after we carve our deliciously seasoned turkey, we double seal
®

every slice for freshness. Which leads to the best Turkey, Arugula & Tomato sandwich
you’ve ever tasted. Visit HillshireFarm.com for more sandwich inspiration.
the Code Because Style Is Always Personal

BRIGHTLY
KNIT
Whether you’re in a
style groove or a rut, a
FAIR ISLE SWEATER
can add NEW LIFE
to your LOOK
Those who know
me will tell you:
I am not a man who
breaks his stride when
it comes to style. Is
that boring? Maybe. I
prefer to see it as con-
sistent. Steady on. Pull
open my closet and
you’ll find a landscape
of deep browns, calm-
ing greens, charcoal

Sweater ($470) by Acne Studios; trousers ($780) by Gucci.

Phot ogra p hs : Bra d O g b o n n a ; lo c a t ion: Henr y Pu bl i c , Brookl y n S eptember 2018_Esquire 57


the Code: Trending

grays, and dark blues. the 19th-century ver-


I pretty much locked sion of tattoos, a way to
into my look some set yourself apart. If
years ago, and I will Deadliest Catch were
not blow money on being filmed in 1882
trends. I invest in in the North Sea,
timelessness. rather than seeing
Which might explain some fully sleeved,
why I am intrigued by tattooed man pulling
many of the knits in nets like you do now,
designers are turning you’d see a guy in one
out this fall: They’re a of these numbers.
trend that happens to Mind you, I haven’t
be timeless. made the leap to wear-
I’m talking about ing one yet. But I’m
the Fair Isle sweater. getting there. For the
Brightly hued and 21st century, the
richly patterned in hor- Fair Isle sweater is the
izontal bands, it’s got a thinking man’s graphic
heritage that goes back T-shirt. Years ago,
to the Scottish islands. I saw a photograph of
While no one is exactly a post-Beatles Paul
sure of the origin of McCartney rocking
these sweaters, my a Fair Isle, and it has
theory is as good as always stayed in my
anyone else’s: They’re head; he’s wearing

WEAR IT OUT
A FAIR ISLE KNIT
SPEAKS FOR
ITSELF, BUT IT ALSO
PLAYS WELL
WITH OTHERS. TRY
IT UNDER A
CORDUROY SUIT OR
WITH A BLAZER
AND JEANS FOR SOME
EXTRA POLISH. ORIGIN STORY
FAIR GAME

something that is so • • • Fresh-off-the-


antique that it’s cool, runway Fair Isles have
that boasts enough col- upped the ante
ors and patterns in it with brilliant colors and
to defy categorization. bolder patterns, but
And that’s its appeal, the original knits, first
devised around 1850,
ultimately. Just when
were more subdued,
you think you’ve got rendered in red, blue,
your style all figured white, and gold, with
out, something like finely figured patterns.
this comes along and They originated on
makes you reconsider the tiny island of—you
everything. —Michael guessed it—Fair Isle,
Hainey then spread upward
through the Shet-
land Islands north of
Top: Suit ($468) by Banana Scotland, where locals
Republic; sweater ($810) by
like Johnnie Jamieson
Marni; T-shirt ($58) by
Double Eleven. Left: Jacket
(above) took to wearing
($1,425) by Drake’s; sweater the designs with an all-
($2,200) by Gucci; shirt ($92) over abandon you have
by Brooks Brothers; jeans to admit is pretty
($250) by A. P. C. rock ’n’ roll. —Jon Roth

58 Se pt e m b e r 2 01 8 _E sq u ire
the Code: Hardware

Rare is the man who launched his signature Instead, it’s got a rugged,

YOU INTO THE has eyed a piece of


jewelry and thought,
I can pull that off, easy.
jewelry line. And no, you
don’t have to sell out the
Garden to wear it. Com-
earthy quality most men
will be naturally drawn to.
When it comes to styl-

STONES?
A lot of guys believe any- posed of richly textured ing tips, Varvatos says to
thing beyond a wedding stones like jasper, tur- take a cue from his run-
ring belongs only on rock quoise, and lapis and pre- ways: “Our philosophy in
stars. Fitting, then, that cious metals like bronze, clothes has always been
You may not be KEITH RICHARDS, but you John Varvatos, designer silver, and gold, the col- lightly layered. I feel the
can still channel his style to music’s A-list, has just lection is far from lashy. same way about jewelry.
Go slow and ind a few
things you really love.”
With more than one hun-
dred pieces to choose
from, that shouldn’t take
too long. —J. R.

Silver necklace ($898), silver cuff


bracelet ($598), jasper necklace
($498), turquoise bracelet
($398), lapis bracelet ($298),
brass bracelet ($298), and ring
($198) by John Varvatos; wood
bowl ($150) and KH Würtz
bowl ($70), available at RW Guild.

6 0 Se pt e m b e r 2 0 1 8 _E sq u ire photo graph : Jeffrey Westbrook


the Code: Complications

IT’S A STEEL
The world’s oldest SWISS watchmaker
regularly turns out tickers IN THE SIX FIGURES.
Now it’s made one for the rest of us.

This month marks the


launch of the Fiftysix: an
elegant, no-nonsense design
that harks back loosely—
but not obsessively—to a
model from 1956. Available
in a number of iterations
with a gold or steel case, the
watch at its simplest features
a three-hand display, a date
• • • For anyone with more than year—it won the watch world’s window, and an automatic
a passing interest in wrist- equivalent of an Oscar—was movement. Typical of a new
watches, the name Vacheron the Les Cabinotiers Celestia sense of taste and realism
Constantin takes on a rever- Astronomical Grand Complica- in watchmaking, it is moder-
ential tone. The 263-year-old tion, which mechanically ately priced (for this class of
champion of high watchmaking maps out your life in no fewer timepiece, anyway—it costs
ranks up there with the likes than 23 separate complica- $11,900). The alluringly
of Patek Philippe and Breguet. tions. The price tag? In excess monochromatic 40mm
Being “up there” means that of $1 million. steel version is an instant
many of the brand’s new But take heart: Vacheron classic, from a house with
watches are hardly what you’d Constantin is just as mindful a storied reputation for pro-
Fiftysix self-winding watch ($11,900) by Vacheron Constantin. call entry-level. The star last of the other end of its market. ducing just that. —Nick Sullivan

p hot ogra p h : Jeffrey Westbrook S eptember 2018_Esquire 61


the Code: A Different Cloth

LIKE A BOSS
A TECHNICAL fabric is the SHARPEST
way to show YOU MEAN BUSINESS

When Prada irst sent


black nylon down the
runway 25 years ago,
no one else at that level
had ever tried it. Back
then, nylon meant util-
ity, not luxury. Then it
became Prada’s hallmark.
Now the brand is revis-
iting the material, and it
MAKE SOME feels timelier than ever—
M OV E S
especially when you con-
WHETHER YOU’RE MEETING
IN THE CORNER OFFICE sider the way we work
OR THE COFFEE SHOP, now. Which is to say not
NYLON PIECES LIKE THESE necessarily in a suit, or
WORK IN ANY SETTING.
even in an oice, in an
age when a CEO can
lash a Casio watch
and interns save up for
designer sneakers. In that
mix, Prada pieces like
this vest and folio echo
the tone of the times—
a little sport, a little
street—with a much-
needed dose of restraint.
All that, and nylon’s
got the versatility you’d
expect from a technical
material. You’re going to
be multitasking no mat-
ter what; you might as
well dress for it. — J . R .

Jacket ($2,620), vest ($1,650),


shirt ($1,120), and portfolio
($1,130) by Prada; jeans ($165)
by Polo Ralph Lauren; loafers
($511) by Armando Cabral.

THE LOOKBOOK
LEGENDS OF THE FALL
• • • Bonobos has made its
name selling stylish, affordable
clothes that actually fit. This
fall, it drives home the “style”
part of that equation, producing
brilliant graphic knits, richly tex-
tured outerwear, and, of course,
perfectly cut trousers. The ele-
vated aesthetic is no accident.
Design head Dwight Fenton
has deployed brighter colors and
richer materials to “diversify
what is typically a more subdued
season.” We say the bolder,
the better. —Michael Stefanov

62 Se pt e m b e r 2 01 8 _ E sq u ire photo graph : Brad O gbo nna


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U LTA . C O M / B R A N D / E S Q U I R E - G R O O M I N G
the Code

Nailing it: I had my


nails painted up until
HOW I GOT MY STYLE
today. My dad needed A NS EL ELG ORT
a pedicure, so we went
24, Brooklyn
there together and I got
them done. There was
this woman there, she
had seen Baby Driver, talks about his first big purchase, his SHIFTING
and she said, “You might STYLE, and the pull of Polo’s new scent, RED RUSH
know my husband—his
name is Wayne Gretzky.
He’s coming to pick me

done Carrie, and that


was my first paycheck,
right out of high school.
Pony boy: The smell of
Red Rush is great. It’s
and then Wayne clean and fresh. I’ll
Gretzky came, and I wear it when I want to
couldn’t shake his hand let loose. Plus, Polo is
because my nails were so iconic. They didn’t say,
still drying. “Do you want to repre-
Shape-shifter: My style sent this smell?” It was
changes all the time. The “Do you want to repre-
second I start to feel like sent Polo?” And yeah, I’m
I have something that’s a down to represent Polo.
go-to, I throw it out the In living color: When I
window. Right now I’m was working [on The
really into color. Goldfinch], I wore these
Purchasing power: I was bespoke suits. I felt that
obsessed with deejay- character [Theodore
ing, and I didn’t want to Decker, who loses his
just be a computer DJ; I mother in a terrorist
wanted to use the hard- attack] was taking over
ware. So I went to Guitar my life. I needed to
Center and I bought two remind myself that I was
CDJ-2000s, a DJM-2000 this colorful kid and
not this dark, depressing
guy. So I would wear
this purple jacket from
Canada Goose and
Opening Ceremony.
It was nice to put on my
clothes at the end of
the day and know I could
go home and go to
sleep as myself. —As told
to Brady Langmann
the Code: Sole Searching MASTER CLASS
ANALYZE THIS
• • • For all the inspiration we take from
red-carpet rigs, the best style is often right
in front of us—or at least a quick scroll
down the Instagram timeline. This fall,
Shoes ($135) by Shoes ($695), Saint Laurent Shoes ($135) by
we’re digging the sartorial savvy of Gerardo
Clarks Originals. by Anthony Vaccarello. Clarks Originals.
Cavaliere, lawyer and cofounder of Roman
tailors Sartoria Giuliva. (Find his photos on
the ’Gram: @sartoriagiuliva.) —N. S.

The contrast
between denim
and wool makes
tailoring feel
casual.

If you’re not
built like
a stick insect,
pleats are your
friend.

The secret
to looking
(and feeling)
comfortable in
a suit? A soft
structure.

THE SHOE
THAT Fine

ALWAYS
textures keep
formal clothes
from seeming
boring.

FITS
If there’s a wrong way to wear The flipped
jacket collar
a Wallabee, we haven’t found it yet is a study in
sprezzatura.

There aren’t many whatever the reason, houses like Saint Laurent
shoes that work these moccasin-chukka and Tod’s making subtle
as well on an Oxford crossbreeds have quietly tweaks to a classic. An accent
professor as they do on earned their place as the Whether it’s imitation or color adds
the Wu-Tang Clan, but most versatile kicks homage, you can’t have personality.
Wallabees do just that. around. Clarks has been too much of a good thing.
Chalk it up to the suede turning out the originals —Adrienne Westenfeld
upper, the crepe sole, since 1967, but this sea- Shoes ($695) by Tod’s; jeans
the rugged stitching, or son the fashion crowd ($250) by A.P.C.; socks ($165)
the distinctive shape— got in on the game, with by the Elder Statesman.

66 Se pt e m b e r 2 01 8 _ E sq u ire ph otog raph : Bra d Ogbo nna


# W A T C H B E Y O N D

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VERSACE ALEXANDER McQUEEN

BOSS JOHN VARVATOS

BELT IT OUT
• • • By nature I’m more of a backpack guy, but when I saw the new
Burberry belt bag for the first time in London, I did a double take.
The size is perfect, and the contrasting belt is really snazzy (though
you can get it in black too, if you prefer). Best of all, the leather
Bigger, bolder, brasher—THE
SUIT TO BUY this fall takes a HARD LINE
—Matthew Marden
The chalk stripe has casual). For a few dark the texture beneath
always appealed decades it was adopted the jacket with a thick
to larger-than-life by Wall Street fat knit in a bold, earthy
types. Wider than a cats, but this fall the tone. Play with pattern
pinstripe and woven in stripe is returning to by adding a funky
rich lannel, the pattern form: Designers from argyle sweater, or pile
was a favorite with Hugo Boss to Versace on the outerwear for a
JFK, Salvador Dalí, and are knocking the dust more layered approach.
Winston Churchill (who off the pattern and A suit this bold will
would wear a chalk- reminding us that it support any styling
stripe jumpsuit while was always meant to be trick you can throw at
inspecting the troops, a statement. it—just bring enough
thereby inventing the So go ahead and get attitude to carry it off.
concept of business loud with it. Turn up —A . W.

S eptember 2018_Esquire 69
the Code: Grooming

Verso Intense
Facial Mask
Feeling worse for wear?
This quenching sheet
mask is packed with
dermatologist favorites like
retinol and ceramides to
help reduce wrinkles.
$75; bloomingdales.com

Tom Ford
Intensive Purifying
Mud Mask
The mood ring of mud
masks, this thick,
clay-based formula turns
light gray as it extracts
oil, dirt, and toxins straight
from your pores.
$60; tomford.com

D O YO U B E L I E V E I N TA K I N G
C A R E O F YO U R S E L F ?
WE DON’T ENDORSE ALL OF PATRICK
BATEMAN’S PROCLIVITIES, BUT
THE MAN WAS AHEAD OF HIS TIME WHEN
IT CAME TO SKIN CARE.

If you’ve noticed to resemble Hannibal


a surge of creepy Lecter? Because once
masks on Instagram the mask comes of, its
lately, Halloween hasn’t beneits remain, namely
come early. You’re a potent cocktail of can deliver visible
looking at the well- vitamins and hydrating results in about 15
groomed man’s secret agents that’ll bring the
SOLID
weapon: the sheet mask. most ravaged mug back
Why are guys so eager to glowing health. If moisturizer’s cruise
control. Just what •••
you want after a late
night at the oice (or
the bar). — A . W.

Grown Alchemist
Hydra- Repair
Cream-Masque
This mask/moisturizer
hybrid (use a nickel-
sized amount daily, or
slather it on once
a week) is rich in oil-
balancing botanicals
and hydrating
hyaluronic acid.
$69; davidpirrotta.com

ph otog raph s :
*Cigar & Spirits Magazine
February 2018 Issue

**June 2018 Issue


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O F N O L E T FA M I LY E X P E R I E N C E

D I S C OV E R M O R E AT N O L E T S G I N .C O M
the Code: How to Wear It

’SUP, LAYER?
GO AHEAD, work in some WARMER clothes.
Just don’t do it ALL AT ONCE.
• • • No one loves fall more
than I do, especially from a
style perspective. The end
of summer means a welcome
return to sweaters, thick
wools, and flannels. (It also
means I no longer have
to look at gobs of sweaty
flesh every time I go outside.
That’s another story.)
But here’s the thing about
fall style—you can’t rush the
season. You know these guys,
the season-rushers: They’re
the nerds who did what Mommy
told them and wore their
heavy fall clothes on the first
day of school, even though the
temperature still hovered in
Shoulder Season the 80s. These guys are
Paul Weller knew better than to run for a grown-up now and still making
parka at the first sign of a chill. the same mistakes. The trees
don’t drop their leaves all in
one day. So why do so many
AMI Officine men pull on topcoats the min-
Alexandre Générale ute the temperature dips be-
Mattiussi low 50? If it hit 50 in March,
you’d change into shorts and a
T-shirt. What gives?
September and October
should be a slow build, a
chance to incrementally layer
up. In these early days of cooler
weather, think about the pieces
you can add and subtract.
. . . and wrong During those chilly mornings,
The right . . . way throw a vest over your sport
to layer.
coat. When it warms up in
the afternoon, lose the coat and
keep the vest. That way, you’ll
look cool—not sweaty. —M.H.

THE ARSENAL
• • • You don’t need a
ton of new clothes to
ease into the season.
It’s about making
better use of the
stuff you’ve already
got. Here, three
cool-weather essen- The ideal core warmer—wear it over a When it’s as wet as it is cold, make a Try subbing in an unlined tweed blazer for a
tials and how to blazer or under, or use it to top off your breathable, water-resistant windbreaker light coat. You’ll look a lot sharper and stay
make the most of them. favorite sweater. Vest ($795) by Herno. your top layer. Jacket ($148) by Nautica. just as warm. Jacket ($358) by Brooks Brothers.

72 Se pt e m b e r 2 018 _E sq u ire
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IQ

Vanishing POINT
With the GOP acting like a PERSONALITY CULT, is there any RED LINE President Trump
could cross—DNA evidence? war with Germany?—that would cost him party support? “Doubtful,” say
a dozen top REPUBLICANS stuck hard behind the MAGA eight ball. By Ryan Lizza

ark Sanford, a Republican con-


gressman from South Carolina

M who lost his seat in June after


sparring with the president on
several issues, has been think-
ing a lot about Hitler. He is
quick to point out that he is not comparing In the Trump era, most Republicans, zy tweet and you answer honestly: ‘That’s
Donald Trump to Adolf Hitler. “Let me be when approached by reporters on Capitol crazy!’” His frankness, he said, “became dei-
clear about that, okay?” he told me days after Hill, have learned to scurry away or feign an nitional in this race.” Indeed, his opponent’s
he was defeated in a GOP primary that was important call on their cell phones to avoid most devastating TV ad simply strung to-
deined by one overriding question: Which the inevitable questions about the most re- gether short, contextless clips of Sanford’s
candidate was more slavishly devoted to the cent lunatic comment from the president. “If Trump criticisms: “I have to disagree with
president? It wasn’t really a contest. we tried to respond to everything the pres- the president on this. . . . If he would just shut
Sanford, a brooding lone wolf among ident said, we’d never get anything done,” up. . . . The guy said something stupid.” The
House Republicans, has survived a lot in said Lynn Jenkins, a House Republican from president inished Sanford of with an elec-
his political career. He was a member of the Kansas who told me she saves her public con- tion-day tweet calling him “nothing but trou-
House in the nineties and then a popular demnations of Trump for only his most egre- ble” and making snide reference to his afair.
two-term governor, though his last two years gious statements, like the time he made up In her victory speech, Katie Arrington,
in oice were marred by his notorious “hik- a story about a female TV anchor “bleeding his opponent, made the lesson of the race
ing the Appalachian trail” adultery scandal. badly from a face-lift.” But Sanford, while clear. “We are the party of President Don-
He divorced his wife and narrowly averted still voting about 70 percent of the time with ald J. Trump,” she declared. Sanford told me
impeachment by the South Carolina legisla- Trump on legislation, hasn’t been shy about that when he saw her comment, he thought,
ture. After it was all behind him, he ran for criticizing the president, taking him to task “What kind of parallel universe do I live in?”
Congress again in a 2013 special election for everything from his budget (“a lie”) to Which brings us back to Hitler. Like any
and found that voters in the overwhelmingly the Stormy Daniels scandal (“deeply trou- good conservative, Sanford has studied and
Republican district had forgiven him. But bling”). As he told me, “You’re on whatever reveres Friedrich Hayek’s The Road to Serf-
that was ive long years ago. show and they ask you about the latest cra- dom, the philosopher-economist’s 1944 ac-

78 Se pt e m b e r 2 018 _ E sq u ire illustration: T imothy Kre ider


count of how dictators take over democracies. won. I think when the president talks of how
Again, he’s not comparing Trump to Hitler. other countries are taking advantage of us,
But still, he’s worried about America’s polit- we’re ighting their wars, we’re spending too
ical dysfunction, Trump’s “strongman” ain- much for their defense, that resonates with
ities, and where that combination could lead. A FEW ANTI-TRUMP people.” He never did answer the question.
He also brings up the fall of Athenian democ- REPUBLICANS, LIKE Earlier this year, Graham made the case
racy. “In part this is not a new movie,” he con- STEVE SCHMIDT, that if Trump ired Mueller, “it would be the
cluded. “This is a replaying of a script that’s OPENLY SUPPORT A end of President Trump’s presidency.” I asked
played throughout the ages, but with incred- DEMOCRATIC TAKEOVER if he still believed that about Mueller. He let
ibly ominous possibilities if we don’t recog- out a deep sigh. “He’s done such a number
nize the dangers of the themes that are now
OF CONGRESS. on this guy, I don’t know,” he said, referring
at play within American society.” to Trump’s attacks on Mueller’s credibility.
Leonard Lance, a congressman from New
rrington was right. The GOP Jersey, was one Republican, albeit a moder-
is the party of Trump. Over Jenkins, the congresswoman from Kan- ate, who volunteered a red line: “Personal col-

A the summer, as he hit the ive-


hundred-day mark of his pres-
idency, his Gallup approval
rating among his own party’s
sas, relayed a conversation she recently had
with a factory owner back home, who told her
that while the guys on his shop loor “hate”
Trump—they are from the Bible Belt, af-
lusion by Trump with the Russians during the
campaign.” But if Republicans keep the House
and the Senate this fall, Trump will have a po-
litical fortress protecting him in Washington.
members—87 percent—was higher than ter all, she noted—“they love what he’s do- That prospect has led a few anti-Trump Re-
that of any postwar president except George ing.” She then ofered the most honest expla- publicans, like Steve Schmidt, who ran John
W. Bush in the wake of 9/11. Trump famously nation I’ve heard for this phenomenon. “It’s McCain’s presidential campaign in 2008, to
said that he could shoot someone on Fifth kind of like supporting your favorite team openly support a Democratic takeover of Con-
Avenue and he wouldn’t lose supporters. A and there’s a talented trash-talking person- gress. In their minds, there is no red line for
year and a half into his term, that statement ality on the other team,” she said. “That player the GOP. I came to the same conclusion after
has become more plausible than ever. is the worst human being on the face of the my hours of interviews.
As the country awaits whatever conclu- earth, but if that same talented player is on Conservative Trump critics fear becoming
sions Robert Mueller’s Russia investiga- our team, well, you know, they’re our team, the next Sanford and stay quiet—what Flake
tion brings, the most important question so we give him a pass.” and others call the “don’t poke the bear”
in politics may be whether there is any red mind-set. Meanwhile, many of the mod-
line Trump could cross and lose signiicant indsey Graham, a Republican erate anti-Trump Republicans are leaving
party support. Four and a half decades ago, senator from South Carolina, oice. Congressman Ryan Costello, a Repub-
Republicans stuck with Richard Nixon un-
til incontrovertible evidence of his crimes
emerged. Democrats never abandoned Bill
Clinton because they believed his misdeeds
L was known as one of Trump’s
most vociferous critics. I
caught Graham on his cell
phone while he was visiting
lican from Pennsylvania who decided to quit
(redistricting gave him a bluer constituency),
said, “If I were running for reelection, ev-
ery single time that I saw on the TV screen
weren’t impeachable. What is the red line Iraq in July. During the 2016 campaign, he that the president was going to hold another
for a contemporary GOP increasingly built called Trump “a kook,” adding, “I think he is rally, I’d be like, ‘Oh, fuck!’ Because he’s go-
around a personality cult? I put that ques- unit for oice.” Graham is now much more ing to say ifty things that aren’t accurate.”
tion to a dozen Republicans in the House diplomatic, ofering himself up as a kind of Sanford has started to think seriously
and Senate, a mix from across the ideolog- translator between the #NeverTrump move- about what he should do now to contain the
ical spectrum and from every region of the ment and the party’s base. On the plus side forces he says Trump has unleashed. “I came
country. The conversations revealed a lot for him were the judges, the tax cuts, the ight back to Congress worried primarily about
about the Trump GOP, but the red line, with against ISIS, and the withdrawal from the debt, deicit, and government spending,” he
respect to Trump’s behavior generally, or Iran nuclear agreement. On the other side told me. “This thing, though, given my own
his conduct speciic to the Mueller probe, were Trump’s “uncertainty about our com- personal experiences, has begun to crowd in-
was vanishingly thin and diicult to detect. mitment” to Iraq, Afghanistan, and Syria; to that space, to say this is a bigger and more
And every time you think you see it—pee his trade policy; and his lack of seriousness clear and present danger to the republic than
tape, porn-star liaison, erratic diplomacy, about Russian meddling in American elec- even the debt and the deicit that I thought
threats to ire Mueller—it keeps moving. tions. “This constant minimizing of Putin was the end of the world.”
As Republican senator Jef Flake of Arizona and his agenda—very problematic.” I asked Sanford: If he really believed what
put it, “I don’t know that there is one.” Those were his toughest words for Trump. he said about Trump, shouldn’t he too support
Flake never supported Trump and has I was surprised how much he was soft-selling a Democratic takeover of the House or Sen-
been the president’s most consistent critic his well-known disagreements with the man ate? He paused for a long time, perhaps won-
in Congress, though one who still votes for on foreign policy, especially Trump’s retreat dering how Friedrich Hayek might answer.
much of his agenda. When Flake was decid- from defending our democratic allies. I asked “I don’t know,” he inally said. “I mean, ev-
ing whether to run for reelection this year, him if the American president was still the erybody’s going to come up with their own
one of his political consultants told him there leader of the free world. He paused for ive remedy as to what you do next. I wouldn’t
was only one path: “You’ve got to be okay seconds before telling me, “America First is say that’s mine.”
with Trump’s policies or be quiet about them, one or two things. It’s an understanding that But he wouldn’t rule it out.
and be okay with his behavior or be quiet we’re a unique country and it’s about burden “I’m not there at this point,” he said. “Let
about it.” Flake decided to retire instead. sharing,” he said. “You gotta remember, he me just take one day at a time.”

80 Se pt e m b e r 2 01 8 _E sq u ire
ESQ Unconventional Wisdom
IQ

Subjects for F U R T H E R I N Q U I RY
TEN AR TI ST S , WRITERS , and other CRE ATIVE
INSPIR ATIONS you might not know . . . but need to By Dwight Garner

SIGRID NUNEZ WILLIAM EGGLESTON LOUISE GLÜCK

KINGSLEY AMIS LES BLANK FREDERICK SEIDEL

A. J. LIEBLING A L L I S O N J A N A E H A M I LT O N S A L LY T I M M S

here’s no way to make your poetry—the book to buy is Poems: 1959– lege in New York, / Eating buttered toast in
life longer, H. L. Mencken re- 2009—is to take a pagan holiday. His bed with cunty ingers on a Sunday morn-

T minded us, but you can make


it wider. Always have a book
going; keep in contact with
music and art and movies.
poems are balefully vivid. Seidel writes
about life’s dark matter (death, envy, lust,
greed) with a jaunty lightness of hand. He
approaches happier topics with a disturb-
ing. / Say that again? / I have a rule— / I
never give to beggars in the street who
hold their hands out.” I have no idea about
Seidel’s actual philanthropic practices, but
What follows is a list of writers and artists— ingly wrinkled sort of buttoned-down as a writer he gives and then gives again.
also, as a curveball, there’s a radio station— charm. You read him for the wrong rea- LOUISE GLÜCK: So many poems are like
some of them lesser known, whose work is sons, which is the best reason to read any- lowers, fainting in their own vases. Glück’s
life-, and mind-, expanding, who repay long one. Like a rapper, Seidel declaims upon poems, like the thorns on a succulent, draw
study, who just might make you happier to his wealth. He writes about good hotels, blood. Pick up her book Poems 1962–2012
be alive. This is the start of an occasional hand-built Ducati motorcycles, and the and scan any of the work from her three
series—let’s call it Subjects for Further In- bikini-waxing habits of his younger girl- best collections, Meadowlands, The Wild
quiry—about certain people whose work friends. A poem called “Widening Income Iris, and especially Ararat, which appeared
gives the mind wings. Equality” begins, “I live a life of appetite in 1990. These deal with family, often with
FREDERICK SEIDEL: To read Seidel’s and, yes, that’s right / I live a life of privi- sisters, and they seem to have been etched

S eptember 2018_Esquire 81
in blood rather than ink. Come for the net-
tling put-downs (“your back is my favorite
part of you, / the part furthest away from
your mouth”), stay for her supple and inter-
rogating mind. Her name rhymes with click,
not cluck. Up at the top of the mountain of
American verse, those are her footprints.
WWOZ: New Orleans is more pricklingly
alive than other American cities for many
reasons, including this one: It has an insis-
tent, often elegiac soundtrack, supplied by
the nonproit radio station WWOZ. When
you’re in New Orleans, WWOZ is omni-
present. You move from Uber to bookstore
to bar and hear it everywhere, pouring out
of cars, tying the scenes of the day together “You wouldn’t believe how far I had to go to find ice.”
as if they were links of andouille sausage.
The city pulses to its Louisiana-centric
rhythms: blues and zydeco, gospel and tra- quotes a friend who steers clear of society to your face. One is about garlic, another
ditional jazz, R&B and moony pop. The women because “they kissed as if they were about the appeal of gap-toothed women.
best thing about WWOZ is that you can sipping creme de menthe through a straw.” In another, Herzog, after losing a bet, is
stream it live on your home speakers. Turn KINGSLEY AMIS: The English novelist forced to eat his shoe. (Alice Waters of
it on when you’re cooking or cleaning or Kingsley Amis wrote many books worth Berkeley’s Chez Panisse bathed the shoe
if your weltanschauung is a bit wobbly, to knowing about, in many genres. The one for hours in garlic, herbs, and duck fat.)
quote a line from the poet A. R. Ammons. I return to most is Everyday Drinking, a See also: A Poem Is a Naked Person, about
WWOZ delivers a lot of shadoobies, to compendium of his writing about the art of the southern rocker Leon Russell. A favor-
steal an undervalued word from Mick Jag- making and consuming wine and cocktails. ite moment: when Russell devours a plate
ger in “Shattered.” Its sound will turn your This book brims with arcane wisdom; one of chicken, rice, and beans onstage as if to
day around. of his hangover cures is to read the final say, This is home.
SIGRID NUNEZ: I came late to the work lines from Milton’s Paradise Lost, another ALLISON JANAE HAMILTON: This young
of this witty and philosophical New York is to “go up for half an hour in an open aero- black American artist, born in Kentucky
City–born novelist. She published a book plane, needless to say with a non-hungover and raised in Florida and western Ten-
this year called The Friend, about a woman person at the controls.” If you are debating nessee, is one to watch. Her photographs,
who inherits, after the suicide of a friend, going on a diet, read this book irst. Heed sculptures, and installations are in touch
his harlequin Great Dane. This sounds like Amis’s core advice: “The irst, indeed the with folklore and myth yet they seem irre-
a setup for a romantic comedy, but Nunez only, requirement of a diet is that it should ducibly modern. She often employs taxi-
employs it as a pretext to talk superbly lose you weight without reducing your alco- dermy in her work, to sublime efect. See:
about everything: love and loss and writ- holic intake by the smallest degree.” her 2015 photograph The Hours, from a
ing and the #MeToo movement. The Friend SALLY TIMMS: Timms is one of the cen- series called Sweet Milk in the Badlands.
was so good it sent me back to her earlier tral members of the indispensable British- Hamilton’s irst solo show is currently at
novels, including A Feather on the Breath American rock band the Mekons, which MASS MoCA and pulling more than its
of God, about immigrants and ballet, and started as an art collective and is still thrill- own weight. This artist is turning over deep
Salvation City, about a near-apocalyptic ingly alive after more than forty years. soil. It’s hard not to look forward to what
plague. What’s the best feeling you can (Everyone has his or her favorite Mekons she does next.
have after reading a good book? The real- album. Mine, somewhat unorthodoxly, WILLIAM EGGLESTON: Born in Mem-
ization that, lo, this writer has a backlist I is So Good It Hurts, from 1988. Slip the phis, raised in Mississippi, Eggleston is
can dive into. songs “Ghosts of American Astronauts” the éminence grise of southern photogra-
A.J. LIEBLING: The four horsemen of Amer- and “Dora” into your current playlist.) phy. A house without one of his books in it
ican food writing are Calvin Trillin (The Timms’s solo albums, notably Cowboy Sally is barely a house. He’s credited with help-
Tummy Trilogy), Jim Harrison (The Raw and Cowboy Sally’s Twilight Laments for ing legitimize color photography, but it’s
and the Cooked), John Thorne (Outlaw Lost Buckaroos, are more than worthwhile. his darkly realistic eye for quotidian scenes
Cook), and A. J. Liebling (Between Meals). She bends Americana to her own strange, that swamps you over and over again. Let
If you are a serious feeder and aren’t famil- steely English whims. us turn for guidance to Eudora Welty,
iar with these books, then you are slacking. LES BLANK: Is it possible that Blank, a doc- who wrote that a typical Eggleston photo-
Liebling’s Between Meals is my sentimen- umentarian, was the most important ilm- graph might include “old tyres, Dr. Pep-
tal favorite among them. It’s an account of maker of the twentieth century? Some per machines, discarded air-conditioners,
this New Yorker writer’s apprenticeship as days I think so. He was certainly the fresh- vending machines, empty and dirty Coca-
an eater in Paris in the 1920s. Liebling con- est, funkiest, and most easygoing. He’s best Cola bottles, torn posters, power poles
tends that the rich are doomed to be dil- known for Burden of Dreams, an epic about and power wires, street barricades, one-
ettantes at the table because they’re not the tortured filming of Werner Herzog’s way signs, detour signs, No Parking signs,
forced to experiment and eat around the Fitzcarraldo. But it’s his smaller movies parking meters and palm trees crowding
margins. Above all, he’s good company. He that sting your curiosity and bring a smile the same kerb.” He is sui generis.

82 Se pt e m b e r 2 01 8 _ E sq u ire
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CTI ON
F I
U IRE
ESQ

CHE R R Y
AN EXCLUSIVE BY NICO WALKER
NOVEL: A SEA EXCERPT FRO
R I N G , B R U TA L M THE SEASON’S MO
, A L L-T O O - ST TA L K E D -A B
BY THE AUTHO A M E R I CA N TA OUT
R’S OWN DE- LE INSPIRED
SOLDIER TO H EVOLUTION FR
EROIN ADDICT OM STUDENT
AND BANK ROBBER AND
Photographs by ROBIN BROADBENT

EMILY’S GONE to take a shower. The room’s half-dark and I’m get- hands me a .45-caliber pistol wrapped in a blue rag; and I say, “Let me
ting dressed, looking for a shirt with no blood on it, not having any hold another gram.”
luck. The pants are fucked too—cigarette burns in the crotches. All He says okay. “This’ll make it seven twenty,” he says.
heroin chic, like I were famous already. “No problem.”
I go downstairs. Livinia pissed in the living room. There’s a lake of I get the scale for him, and he sets to weighing out a gram. I say, “It
piss. I say, “Livinia, goddamn,” yet low enough that she won’t hear me. was three light yesterday.”
She’s a good dog; just we’ve been some fucks about house-training her. He knows. But he doesn’t say anything. That’s how they do it: They
I get the paper towels and a bottle of spray. There’s a pack of Pall short you, they know they shorted you, and then they act like you’re the
Malls on the kitchen counter. I shake one loose and light it on the one who’s fucked up.
stove. I check the rigs in the cupboard. The rigs in the cupboard are “Remember I called you about it?”
all blood-used and crooked, like instruments of torture. And there are He remembers. But he’s got to make things stupid because he’s a
two lengths of nylon in the cupboard, and a box of Q-tips and a digital dope boy.
scale, two spoons with old cottons in them. The needles on the rigs are I say, “C’mon. Don’t be fucked-up. You said I owe you money for it
dull, but they’ll have to do. Emily has to be at school by ten, and it’ll be like it was right. And it isn’t like I’m not gonna have you together real
a close-run thing. There won’t be time to buy new rigs till afterward. soon.”
It’s twenty to nine but I think we’ll make it. Black should be on time He says okay.
today, and he’ll have something for us, so I’m not worried. I soak the I go to the stairs and call up to Emily. “Hey, sweetheart. Black’s here.
piss up with the paper towels. I wipe the spot down with disinfectant, Come down and do some of this dope with me.”
throw the used paper towels away. She says she’ll be down in a second.
Black pulls up in the driveway, and I let him in the side door. He I split the heroin up and set out some clean spoons: one for me, one
85
for my best girl. I ill a glass with water and There are three diferent kinds of ice trays: I GET in the car and back out into the
draw some out with a rig. I press the water out green, blue, and white. I ill them all up in the street. I’m behind Black at the light. I don’t
hard to break up any blood clots in the needle. sink and put them back in the freezer. especially like Black because he’s always on
I draw some more water out and add the some bullshit. Still, he’s alright as far as dope
water to the spoon. I hear Emily on the stairs, BLACK IS in the living room. I draw a boys go. All his brothers are in jail.
and I stir the heroin up with the water and go picture for him: “This is Lancashire, this is The arrow’s green and Black makes a left.
over to the stove. Emily says hi to Black. Black Hampshire, this is Coventry. I’ll park here, up I follow him and pass him going up Cedar.
says hi. I say to Emily, “That’s you over there past the stop sign, up past where it’s one-way. The morning is overcast, but it’s bright
on the counter.” You pick me up and take me over to Lan- nonetheless—a bright overcast morning! In
She says, “Thank you, baby.” cashire. Stop a couple buildings back from the just-spring! And maybe it will stay this way
I turn the burner on low and cook the shot corner and let me out. Then drive to the park- forever. It would be nice, but it’s a childish
on the lame till the shot starts to hiss a little; ing lot behind this storefront. Wait for me thing to wish for.
then I take it off. Emily’s rolled up a bit of I go past South Taylor, past the pharmacy,
cotton for me. She knows I’m in a hurry. Her past the abandoned KFC, past the Wendy’s,
hair is still wet. I take the cotton and drop it
into the spoon. The cotton turns dark and
“The rigs in the past the high school, past the movies, past Lee
Road, another pharmacy, more houses, and
swells. I draw the shot through the cotton and
lick the air out of the rig. What’s left in the
cupboard are all blood-used I’m twenty-ive years old and I don’t under-
stand what it is that people do. It’s as if all this
rig looks pretty dark.
She says, “Are you doing all yours right
and crooked, like were built on nothing, and nothing were hold-
ing this together. And then I hear people talk,
now?”
“Uh-huh.”
instruments of torture.” and that just makes things worse.
I didn’t make the light at Meadowbrook. I
“Are you sure that’s wise, baby?” turn right at Coventry and follow it down to
“It’ll be alright. If I can’t get more real soon there. I’ll be in and out real quick and I’ll come Hampshire and turn left. Here the street signs
then I don’t see as it’ll matter.” around through here. Then all you’ll have to do are painted to look like they’ve been tie-dyed.
It hurts a little extra when the needle’s dull is drive me up to where I parked and let me out I used to live here before they did that. Then
like this. It can make it hard to hit a vein. But and that’ll be that. We’ll meet back here, split I couldn’t anymore. It was like finding out
I hit a vein no problem, and this is a good the money up, yada yada yada. Sounds good?” you’d had some shit on your face the whole
omen. It’s going to be a lucky day. “Yeah. Sounds good.” time you’d been talking.
I shoot it. “So you’re up for it then?” I go up Hampshire where it’s one-way and
The taste comes on first; then the rush “Yeah.” the brick apartment buildings on either side.
starts. And it’s all about right, the warmth “Alright. Just give me a second and we’ll go. Some of the apartments have balconies. And
bleeding down through me. Till the taste Emily has to teach a class at ten.” the trees are nice. I don’t understand them
comes on stronger than usual, so strong She’s in the kitchen, feeling better now. either but I like them. I think I’d like them
it’s sickening. And I igure it out: how I was I say, “I’m heading out. I’ll be back in a all. It’d have to be a pretty fucked-up tree in
always dead, my ears ringing. minute.” order for me not to like it.
She says, “Be careful.” The lane is two-ways with houses on either
I’M ON the kitchen loor and my balls I say I’ll be careful. side after the stop. Some of the houses are
are cold. duplexes, some are single-family homes, and
Emily’s over me: “Come on.” WE LIVE on a street of red and white they all look nice, and there are more trees,
I lift my head. I look at Emily. I look at houses, where we don’t belong, Emily and and bigger ones. I turn around in the street
Black. Black is backed against the counter. I I. But we’re happy enough, though we’re and park at the curb. Black pulls up and I get
want to laugh in his face, but I can’t. often sad because we feel like we’re losing into his car. He cuts over and turns left onto
Emily’s hands are cold. “Talk to me!” everything. Lancashire. He drives down and stops a little
My pants are undone and there are ice Sometimes she gets to carrying on real loud ways back from the corner. There is nothing
cubes in my underwear. and screaming at me about shit like I can help more left to do now.
“Did you put ice cubes in my underwear?” it; and I have to say to her, “What the fuck is
“I thought you were going to die,” she says. wrong with you? Are you fucking crazy? Why SOMEWHERE ALONG the way I got into
“The day’s still young.” are you making all this noise like you’re being this, and it’s become a habit with me. One
And I see she’s about to cry. I say, “I’m murdered? Are you being murdered? Am I thing leads to another, leads to another.
sorry. I was only kidding. It was good of you murdering you? The neighbors will think I’m Things get better, they get worse. Then one
to do that. There’s no reason for you to be murdering you. And they’ll call the fucking day you’re all the way thrown out, before you
embarrassed. You did a good job.” police. And the police’ll come over here, and ever knew it was that serious. And you might
“You fucking piece of shit!” they’ll see me, and they’ll say, ‘This guy looks be crazy, and you might have a gun, but even
“Goddamn, lady. What do you want from like the one’s been doing all these fucking rob- then it’s usually no big deal.
me?” beries.’ And then I’ll go to fucking prison, and I have the door open and the car chimes.
I get up of the loor and I go to the sink and you’ll feel terrible.” “I’ll be quick, so you might as well start now.
start digging the ice cubes out of my under- And sometimes she says she’s sorry. Or You know where you’re going, right?”
wear. My cock can be seen; it’s cold, not sometimes she doesn’t say anything. Or “Yeah.”
making a good show of it. sometimes she punches me in the neck. And “Just make the irst left three times and you
“If I’d have known this was gonna happen I’ll say, “Ah, shit! Baby, why’d you punch me can’t go wrong.”
I’d have cut my pubic hair.” in the neck?” “Yeah.”
Black exits the kitchen. And she’ll run upstairs and lock her- “Are you sure you want to do this? Because
“Are you okay?” self in the bathroom and not come out for you don’t look like you do. It isn’t too late to
“I’m fine. Do yours, babe. We’re gonna hours while I’m downstairs crying my eyes change your mind.”
have to get you to school and it’s almost nine.” out over her. I love her so much it feels “I’m good.”
I pick the ice trays up from off the floor. like dying every time she does that. She’s a “Okay. I’ll meet you in the parking lot in
beauty and I tell her so all the time. I think about two minutes, give or take. Please be
86 Se pt e m b e r 2 0 1 8 _ E sq u ire she’d do anything for me. there.”
He says, “I got this.” The other teller laid $1,400 on the counter to go carrying in a hat, but this arrangement
“Too easy, right?” and said it was all she had. I remember the lie will have to work as I have a ways to go and I
“Too easy.” in her voice and thinking, This poor woman don’t want the gun trying to de-pants me in
thinks I’m retarded. But then what did I care? the getaway.
I’M ON the sidewalk. I’m an Indians hat She was pretty and it wasn’t like I wanted I walk down more steps that go into the
and a red scarf. I’m a blue hoodie and a white everything; I only ever wanted what was parking lot, carrying my hat, with the gun in
button-down shirt, some jeans, white Adidas, enough for now. my hat, with my hat in my left hand. There’s
nothing out of the ordinary. The gun is in my So now I’m robbing this teller and we’ve no one else in the parking lot when I cross it.
waist. I pull the scarf up before I go by the recognized each other and it isn’t a big deal. The gun in my hat still isn’t well hidden. I take
ATMs, and the scarf covers the lower half I don’t think she’s against me. I think maybe my scarf of while I’m walking and I ball it up
of my face. It’s a little late for it to do any we’re the same age. She’s pale as I am. And some and place it on top of the gun in my hat
good; I’ve been at this awhile now, and it’s no her hair is dark. Her eyes are blue with lecks and it’s a little better. Still there’s the money
secret what my face looks like. And here’s a of gold in them, and I could be in love with sticking out of my pockets; I’ll need to be care-
guy walking out and I’m at the door going in her if things had been different. And then ful that none falls out. I go left when I get to
and I’m not worried. I’m through the door, maybe we are somewhere. the sidewalk, and I’m walking up Hampshire.
and I have the gun out so everybody can see: I say, “I’m sorry.” They’ll be coming up Mayfield, and if they
“NO ALARMS. I’M A WANTED MAN. “That’s okay.” catch me I’m fucked.
THEY’LL KILL ME.” “What’s your name?” Sometimes I wonder if youth wasn’t wasted
“Vanessa.” on me. It’s not that I’m dumb to the beauty of
I’M ONLY kidding around. And I think “I’m sorry, Vanessa.” things. I take all the beautiful things to heart,
everybody knows as much. But this is never- “What’s your name?” and they fuck my heart till I about die from it.
theless a holdup, and I’ll need some money “You’re funny, Vanessa.” So it isn’t that. It’s just that something in me’s
before I’ll leave. She empties out the cash drawers quickly, always drawn me away, and it’s the singular
I walk to the counter, with the gun down which is good as I’m not trying to hang out— part of me, and I can’t explain it.
now so it’s pointed at the floor. There’s no there’s a police station not a quarter mile There’s nobody out here except me and
sense in making a big deal out of this. One from here. I take the stacks of money of the one other guy; he’s on the same sidewalk as I
thing about holding up banks is you’re mostly counter and shove them into my pockets. It am, coming toward me from the other end of
robbing women, so you don’t ever want to be looked alright: It doesn’t matter, it isn’t ever the block. We will meet eventually. I see he’s
rude. About 80 percent of the time, so long as very much. It’s like smash-and-grab, like hit- dressed like an old-timer, and that’s good: If
you’re not rude, the women don’t mind when and-run: The important thing is to get away. he’s old then I doubt he gives a fuck about
you hold up the bank; probably it breaks up The important thing is to run fast. what I’m up to. The important thing is don’t
the monotony for them. Of course there are I slam through the doors going out and act like you robbed a bank.
exceptions; about 20 percent have a bad out- round the corner, go past the ATMs. But I Act like you have places to go and people to
look. Like there was one lady, looked like don’t run back up the street; I turn and run see.
Janet Reno, wouldn’t come off a cent more behind the bank, past the dumpster, past the Act like you love the police.
than $1,800; she’d have seen everybody dead place where I used to live upstairs, then down Act like you never did drugs.
before she’d have come of another cent. She the steps in back of the almost vegetarian Act like you love America so much it’s
actually thought the bank was right. But this restaurant, to the chain-link fence. And the retarded.
was a fanatic. Usually the tellers are pretty parking lot is there, but I don’t see Black. And But don’t act like you robbed a bank.
cool: You give them a note or tell them you’re I’m not at all surprised as this is typical fuck- And don’t run.
there to do a robbery, and they go in the cash ing dope-boy behavior. The important thing is don’t run.
drawers and lay the money on the counter, The important thing is don’t run. The sirens coming up Mayield now, and the
and you take it and you leave and that’s all My car is a block away and I think I can grass is like a teenage girl. And the stoops!—
there is to it. Really it’s very civilized. It’s like make it. So this isn’t the end of the world. The the stoops are fucking wondrous! There’s a
a quiet joke you’ve shared with them. I say parking lot’s three sides where it’s walls and fuckload of starlings gone to war over a big
joke because in my case I don’t imagine there the walls full of windows looking down on me. wet juicy bag of garbage—look at them go!
was ever one to believe I’d do anything seri- I take my hat of and put the gun in my hat. The big swinging-dick starling’s got all the
ous if push came to shove, though I do make it The gun’s heavy on account of it’s full of bul- other starlings scared. He’ll be the one who
a point to try and at least look a little deranged lets. It’s full of bullets because I can’t imag- gets the choicest garbage!
because I don’t want anyone getting in trou- ine it being anything else. It’s really too heavy This is the beauty of things fucking my heart.
ble on account of me. I have a lot of sadness I wish I could lie down in the grass and chill for
in the face to make up for, so I have to make a while, but of course this is impossible; the gun
faces like I’m crazy or else people will think in my hat could be a little obvious, the money
I’m a pussy. The risk you run is that some- sticking out of all my pockets too. And the
times people think you’re a crazy pussy. But sirens telling everyone I’m a fucking scumbag.
I have to do what I can; otherwise her man- I bet they hope I’ll try something so they can
ager might say to her, “Why’d you give that drink my blood and tell their women about it.
pussy the money? You’re ired!” And she goes I say good morning to the old-timer. He
home and tells the kids there isn’t going to be says good morning. And if he suspects me of
any Christmas. wrongdoing, he is good enough not to men-
It doesn’t matter. Here is a teller. I say to tion it. We go about our business.
her, “It’s nothing personal.” I’m three-quarters there now.
And do you know we recognize each other! So maybe I get away.
There was another robbery, on the West Side, The author, Nico Walker, a former
And here come the sirens.
Lakewood, maybe a month ago (the days run Iraq-war medic with two years left in an eleven-year prison Here come their fucking gangsters.
together). I robbed the other teller, but she sentence for holding up a bank. The sirens screaming now, now turning.
was there too. It was funny how it happened. And I feel peaceful.

88 Excerpted from Cherry, by Nico Walker, to be published on August 14 by Alfred A. Knopf, an imprint of the Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC.
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you’re drawn to—it’s about decades now, from quiet, sear-
where you come from. That’s ing works like Shame to the
director Steve McQueen’s take. unlinchingly brutal 12 Years
“I’m a working-class Londoner,” a Slave (which won the Oscar
he says. “When you think for Best Picture). You might ex-
of London, you think of pect someone with McQueen’s
rockers, punks, skinheads. The success to resist change, but
three-quarter pants, the you’d be underestimating him.
close-cropped hair. It’s very Up next is something entirely
London, whatever I do.” new. Widows, which he adapted
It’s itting that McQueen prefers from a British television show
clothing by designer Yohji with Gone Girl author Gillian
Yamamoto, whose avant-garde Flynn, will see a stacked cast of
approach taps into that women conspiring to settle a
same rebel energy. debt from their dead husbands’
“There’s an ease with his crimes. It’s a diferent story
clothes, and a kind of movement for McQueen to tell and a
interpreted in the fabric or in chance to take his directorial
the cut. It’s very much matched style in new directions.
to me and my body,” says “I’m looking for truth in what-
McQueen, who walked the run- ever I do,” he says. “I don’t like
way for Yamamoto in 2008. the idea of putting a stencil on a
The director has unveiled narrative. I want the narrative
visionary films in theaters and to tell me how it wants to be seen.”
art installations in swanky gal- —A drie nne We ste nfe ld

94
John Mulaney remembers the The comedian likes suits from
exact moment he decided to up- Paul Smith for their it, and
grade his stand-up uniform. because they come in shades that
He was performing in Atlanta, folks can spot from the cheap
wearing the same lannel-and- seats. “They have a great variety
jeans outit as everyone in the au- of popping-up-in-front-of-dark-
dience. “I thought, Oh! There’s curtains-colored suits,” he says.
no reason I should be talking up Not that a suit should be a
here,” he says. So while ilming his gimmick. If anything, Mulaney
irst Netlix special, New in Town, thinks guys should wear them
he decided he’d try out some more often.
tailoring. “It was funny to me to “If you’ve got a blazer, a dress
be a twenty-eight-year-old in a shirt, dress shoes, and then you
suit, yelling at everyone.” put on jeans? Just wear a suit,” he
Mulaney’s had an epic run ever says. “People say, ‘I don’t want
since, including national tours, to look too dressy,’ but unless it’s
a Broadway run alongside Nick a wedding that insists everyone
Kroll in Oh, Hello, voice work dress like Edward Sharpe
Right: Grooming by Sussy Campos using KEVIN.MURPHY & Milk Makeup. Left: Production by Danny Needham at Rosco Production. Grooming by Ciona Johnson-King at Aartlondon.

on the raunchy puberty comedy and the Magnetic Zeros, no one’s


Big Mouth, and two more acclaimed going to be upset.” —Jon Roth
stand-up specials. For his latest,
the Emmy-nominated Kid
Gorgeous, he sold out Radio City
Music Hall for all seven engage-
ments. You can’t attribute all that
success to good tailoring, but
something about his clothes tugs at
the tensions in his comedic style:
formal, then absurd. Wholesome,
then suddenly dark.

h n y
J o
n e
u l a n ,3
5
TI
N
dia
M Co
me
E ST S
WI

A RP NES
E SH USI
TH E B
TH

Jacket, sweater, and trousers by Paul Smith.


The way he moves
across the concert
stage—strutting,
swaggering, shirtless—you could
peg Matty Healy, frontman of
Brit group The 1975, as rock ’n’
roll’s second coming. But Healy’s
got no interest in re-creating the
past. He may have rock-god cha-
risma, but he’s topped the charts
with a distinctly millennial savvy.
Take The 1975’s sound. It’s a
genre-hopping mash-up that
references everyone from Talking
Heads to One Direction. Tracks
vary wildly in sensibility because
the band aims to write songs for
the streaming generation rather
than monumental albums.
“We create in the way we con-
sume,” Healy says. And that
onstage persona? It’s more
impersonation than emulation.
He has said that no one can be an
unironic rock star today.
Healy favors cool-kid design-
ers like Raf Simons and Hedi
Slimane, but when asked about
personal style icons, he’s charac-
teristically unbound by era,
aesthetic, or gender. “There’s too
much to choose from,” he says.
“There’s people who I think
are chic as fuck, though. Michelle
Pfeifer in the nineties.
Seal in the ‘Crazy’ video. Jackie
Kennedy. Nick Cave.”
This fall, fans will get more
of Healy’s reference-rich inven-
tion with The 1975’s new
album, A Brief Inquiry into
Online Relationships, followed by
yet another album in the spring.
One thing Healy unironically
shares with the outsized rock
legends of yore? The conviction
that more is more. —J. R.

at t y
M LY
E A
H Mus
icia n, 29

THE
N
O DER
TM
P O S P S TA R
PO
Jacket, shirt, trousers, and sunglasses by Dior Men.

96
Is there any role
Right: Hair by Lona Vigi using Oribe. Makeup by Adam Breuchaud for Dior Beauty. Nails by Erin Moffett using Chanel Le Vernis. Location: The Chateau Marmont. Left: Production by Danny Needham at Rosco Production. Grooming by Ciona Johnson-King at Aartlondon.
Dress, boots, and ring by Givenchy.
Sarah Paulson can’t
inhabit? She’s played
conjoined twins, a medium,
a witch, and a journalist—and
that’s just in the American
Horror Story universe.
The actress resists categoriza-
tion on the red carpet, too, where
she’s shaking up Hollywood’s
predictable fashion scene. At the
London premiere of Ocean’s 8,
she wore a pink Valentino gown
that was equal parts arty and
feminine, then went punk for the
New York premiere in an electric

PaS A R
lime-green Prada number. “I look
like a giant highlighter,” she later

ul A H
joked. We call it a bright spot.
If anyone knows Paulson
at her core, it’s Ryan Murphy,
with whom she’s collaborated TH
soAc
t re
nonstop since Nip/Tuck in 2004.
The partnership isn’t likely
RE
E

D-
n ss
,4
3
to end anytime soon. “He makes
CH
AM CA
EL RP
me feel seen,” Paulson says. “You EO ET
N
don’t leave somewhere where
you’re being celebrated and chal-
lenged. It’s like being in a mar-
riage that works.” That marriage
has garnered Paulson six
Emmy nominations, and a win
for American Crime Story.
Paulson’s back on the big
screen next fall as part of the stel-
lar cast of The Goldfinch. She will
also return to another Murphy
project—playing Nurse Ratched
in a Netlix series exploring the
origin story of everyone’s favor-
ite battle-ax. We bet you’ll
hardly recognize her. —A. W.
Ludwig
GÖRANSSON
Composer, producer, 33

THE HIT MAKE R

Left: Grooming by Sussy Campos using KEVIN.MURPHY & Milk Makeup. Right: Production by Danny Needham at Rosco Production. Grooming by Ciona Johnson-King at Aartlondon.
Style comes in stages. First, you
score a few compliments. Later,
friends ask, “Where’d you get
that?” When you’ve really
made it, people start stealing
your damn clothes. Swedish
composer Ludwig Göransson hit
that last level at his bachelor
party, when he briely left a suede
Lanvin jacket—wallet inside—
behind at a table. It was gone
when he came back. “It was a
fashion thief,” Göransson says,
since someone later found his
valuables. “Whoever took it just
wanted the jacket.”
Also in demand from Görans-
son? His virtuosic musical
abilities. He started out day-
jobbing the scores of New Girl
and Community and has since
evolved into an indispensable
collaborator to the likes of
Childish Gambino, Ryan Coogler,
and Chance the Rapper. Not
necessarily what you’d expect
from an artist who hails from
the land of EDM. (You can
thank Donald Glover for the
introduction to rap.) Göransson
mashed modern hip-hop into
the Rocky theme for Creed, laid
down Black Panther’s thump-
ing afrobeats, and coproduced
Gambino’s next-level hit “This
Is America,” which is why you
could see him in anything from
a dashiki to a bomber jacket.
“When I go into the studio,
I’m trying to dress up to the
way I want my music to
sound,” he says. “It makes it
easier to connect and create.”
Jacket, shirt, trousers, and tie by Boss; Gucci ring and vintage signet ring, Göransson’s own.
—Brady Langmann
B il l Y
H
NIG o r, 6
8
Act GE
H AN
K- C
UIC T
TIS
E Q
TH
A R

If you want Bill Nighy to look


his best, put him in a suit.
He’s got the build to carry them
of with ease. But in the course
of his ive-decade career, the
Golden Globe–winning actor
has learned a hard truth: The
costume department isn’t there
to make him look good.
Take the motion-capture suit
that transformed Nighy into
half-man, half-mollusk Davy
Jones in the Pirates of the
Caribbean series. “I had to wear
computer pajamas with white
bubbles all over them and a white
skullcap with a white bubble on
top,” Nighy says. “People pit-
ied me. They would avert their
eyes because I looked sad, and
I couldn’t have agreed more. I
knew how sad I looked.”
The actor’s other roles have run
the sartorial gamut, from his
Tony-nominated performance in
Skylight (charcoal suiting) to
his turn as a word-vomiting
rocker in Love Actually (snakeskin
pants). Ofstage, he opts for sim-
ple, navy-colored dress clothes.
“It occurred to me that I’ve spent
most of my life just slightly
overdressed,” he says. “Jarvis
Cocker had a good response when
asked why he always wore a suit.
He said, ‘Well, you never
know who you’re gonna bump
into.’” —B. L.

Suit by Thom Sweeney; shirt by Margaret Howell; tie by Drake’s; loafers by Church’s.

99
Brian
T YREE
Henry
Actor, 36
THE SCENE-STEALER

The best piece of direction that


Brian Tyree Henry, a Yale School
of Drama alumnus, ever received
came from South Park’s Trey
Parker during a rehearsal of the
Broadway musical The Book of
Mormon. “I had some dialogue,”
Henry says, “and at the end of
it, Trey was like, ‘Cool. Now just
add a bunch of fucks in there.’ ”
Henry is best known for play-
ing Alfred, aka Paper Boi,
Donald Glover’s rap-star cousin
and meal ticket on FX’s Atlanta.
The show’s second season
(which earned Henry an Emmy
nom) smartly focused on Alfred’s
ambivalence about celebrity

Left: Grooming by Ruth Fernandez. Right: Grooming by Jodie Boland using Lab Series Skincare for Men.
and the toll of carrying his
entourage. This fall, he’ll appear
in both Steve McQueen’s Wid-
ows and Barry Jenkins’s If Beale
Street Could Talk.
There is a scene in the Atlanta
episode “Woods” in which
Alfred’s girlfriend tries to per-
suade him to buy a pair of velvet
slippers. Henry would need no
convincing. The actor is given
to bold prints, statement jewelry,
and velvet evening jackets.
“When I enter a room, I want
you to know I entered,” he says.
When asked about his acting
Suit and shirt by Boss; sneakers by Vans; jewelry, Henry’s own.
idols, his answer is just as decisive
(and unexpected). “Laurie Metcalf
is the—capital THE, underline
the—actor that I was like, ‘I want
to be her.’ ” —Ash Carter

10 0
Few theatrical mo-
ments match the
conclusion of Henrik
Ibsen’s A Doll’s House, when
housewife Nora Helmer slams
the door on her marriage and
her children. For decades, play-
wrights have taken unsuccessful
stabs at dreaming up what
happened next. Then came
Lucas Hnath, who took his au-
dacious sequel, A Doll’s House,
Part 2, all the way to Broadway,
and a landmark eight Tony nomi-
nations. A gutsy high-low
fusion, the new play finds Nora
knocking on that same door

A S ifteen years later, a successful

C h feminist novelist who’s come

LU a t to demand a divorce.
Hnath cites his Orlando child-

H n wr
igh
t, 38
IS T
hood as one of his greatest inlu-
ences. “I grew up seven minutes
Pla
y
S I ON from Disney World,” he says.

IL LU “That acclimated me to delight-


TH
E ing in artiice.” In his wardrobe,
that translates into slim-itting
silhouettes, “self-consciously
theatrical” designers like Alex-
ander McQueen, and bohemian
lourishes. All that, and he has
one of the most luxurious manes
on the Great White Way.
“I hate that it’s become a bit
of a trademark, but I do like it
long,” he says. Every artist needs
a signature. —A. W.

Jacket by Maison Margiela; shirt by Bottega Veneta; trousers by Coach 1941; belt by Gucci.
An artist can ind their
inspiration anywhere.
Raúl de Nieves found his in a
pair of heels. “I thought it would
be funny to wear them to a punk
show. People called me Grandma,
but it also made me more
approachable, because it started
a conversation,” he says. He then

A Ú L started incorporating them into


R e s his artwork—covering the shoes

i e v with cheap plastic beads until


de N Artist,
34
they took on their own organic
shapes. “I’m morphing these

S FOR MER everyday objects into something


T H E T R A N more magical,” de Nieves says.
The artist grew up in
Michoacán, Mexico, a place he
describes as a “huge artisan com-
munity” where craft truly was
an everyday practice. He immi-
grated to San Diego at nine, and
as an adult skipped art school,
saving the money and teach-
ing himself. He developed a
wide-ranging practice rooted in
sculpture and performance art.
In 2017, his reputation spiked
with his inclusion in the Whitney
Biennial. There he created a
thirty-eight-foot stained-glass
installation lanked by elaborately
costumed igures and beaded
sculptures. Innovative as ever,
de Nieves crafted his “stained
glass” out of tape and colored
paper. The inished product was
packed with imagery by turns
sacred, celebratory, and surreal.
These days, de Nieves wears
more sneakers than party
pumps—you need sensible shoes
to travel. In September, he’s got
shows in L. A. and Paris, and he’s
making plans for even bigger
projects. “Working on that scale
pushed me not to have limits,”
he says of the Whitney show. “I
made that stained-glass window Grooming by Jodie Boland using Lab Series Skincare for Men.
by myself in a basement with no
natural sunlight. I believed that
it would work, and it did. And it
was beautiful.” —J. R.

Coat, vest, and shirt by Versace; jewelry, de Nieves’s own. Casting by Emily Poenisch.

102
BOSS 0969

Henry Cavill
#SharpenYourFocus

boss.com
From his $20-million-a-year perch at Today, Matt Lauer
turned NBC into his personal playground.
THEN, SUDDENLY, HE WAS GONE.
10 4
BIRDMEN
From left:
Mark Halperin,
Andy Lack, Tom
Brokaw, Matt
Lauer, Billy
Bush, and Noah
Oppenheim.

BY

David
Usborne

But Lauer’s axing has only raised unsettling questions about


the NETWORK’S LEADERSHIP,
its boys’-club culture, and how it covered the #MeToo moment.
decided to terminate his employment.” Later that day, HR and Legal confronted
Everyone behind Studio 1A’s glass win- him: Were the allegations true? Lauer ad-
dows was aghast. A few wept. Were they mitted that he’d had sexual relations with
really cutting Lauer loose? the complainant and nothing more. But that
He had been the breakfast company of mil- was enough. It fell to Lack, up to that point
lions for two decades, a trusted public persona, a close friend, to go to Lauer’s eleven-room
and the marquee draw for a franchise that Lenox Hill apartment that same evening to tell
earned the network hundreds of millions per him not to come to work the next morning, or
year. He was the face of the Olympics and the ever again. He would be denied the $30 million
Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, “the hunk reportedly remaining on his contract.
next door” with a reported salary of $20 mil- NBC was constrained from divulging
t was a little before dawn lion a year, an apartment on the Upper East any conidential elements of the irst com-
on the last Wednesday in Side, and three properties on Long Island (a plainant’s story in public. That put the net-
November, and the robin- $36.5 million compound in North Haven, a work in a bind. How to justify its treatment of
egg blue of the slowly house in Sag Harbor, and a forty-acre horse Lauer to staf members without ofering evi-
brightening sky heralded farm in Water Mill)—not to mention access dence? In the end, Lack reportedly would of-
a fine day—good news to chartered helicopters to whisk him from his fer one clarifying nugget as he briefed shocked
for NBC as it prepared for various homes to 30 Rock and back. Last year, senior Today stafers in the hours after Lauer’s
the evening’s Christmas- he purchased the lease on a sixteen-thousand- iring: The liaison had begun at the Sochi
tree-lighting special, acre ranch in New Zealand. He attended all Winter Olympics in Russia in 2014.
hosted again by then- the right social events and knew all the right “NBC has a duty to maintain coniden-
ifty-nine-year-old Today people. On top of that, he was widely seen tiality,” Wilkenfeld said in an interview on
anchor Matt Lauer, at as an entirely professional coworker, always Today two weeks later, “and they have not done
Rockefeller Center, the ready with a kind word. And now he was out. a good job of doing that. They know exactly
network’s home. Yet as Barely thirty-six hours earlier, the colleague what they’ve done, and they need to stop.”
the crews for that morning’s broadcast iled in question (who remains anonymous) had Lauer retreated to his home in the
sleepily into Studio 1A, where Today is shot, arrived at NBC headquarters to meet with Hamptons while his wife, Annette Roque,
rumors had begun circulating. Lauer hadn’t the network’s human-resources and legal who is filing for divorce, left for Den-
been to hair and makeup. He wasn’t in his departments. She was accompanied by Ari mark. His exile was swift and stun-
dressing room. His car hadn’t shown. Where Wilkenfeld, a famously determined civil- ning—another embarrassment for NBC.
in the world was he? rights lawyer with Wilkenfeld, Herend-
Only a select few were in the know. Savannah een & Atkinson in Washington, D. C. Lauer ne midsummer morning in 2000,
Guthrie, who’d cohosted Today since 2012, had drawn her into an improper sexual rela- Lauer used Today’s internal-
received a call while en route to the studio. tionship, she alleged. The details were kept messaging system to get the atten-
Hoda Kotb’s phone had rung earlier. She’d quiet, though they were relayed by neces- tion of a production assistant
be cohosting with Guthrie from the top of sity to the top brass who’d have to decide twenty years his junior named Addie
the show that day instead of starting at her Lauer’s fate, including Lack. Zinone. “I hope you won’t drag me
usual ten o’clock hour. It had already been a rough year for the to personnel for saying this,” he
The digital clocks around Studio 1A read network. The previous September, Lauer wrote. “But you look fantastic.”
06:45—ifteen minutes until airtime—when had received near-universal criticism for his Zinone, who’d been a star athlete at Tem-
executive producer Don Nash, whose youth- interviews with Hillary Clinton and Donald ple University in Philadelphia, was soon to
ful mien belied his almost three decades at the Trump. (The New York Times called them a leave Today to become a newsreader at a West
network, gathered everyone around. (Weeks “farce.”) In early October 2016, a tape was Virginia ailiate. Her last gig for Today was to
later, in a post-Lauer purge, Nash would be discovered in the archives of Access Hol- be the 2000 Democratic National Convention
ousted and replaced by Libby Leist, report- lywood, part of the NBC family, that had in Los Angeles, a few weeks away.
edly a favorite of Guthrie’s.) In shock him- then-candidate Trump boasting about us- Not long after getting the irst message, she
self, Nash simply read a statement that was ing his celebrity to take advantage of women. received a second. “OK . . . NOW YOU’RE

NBC insisted that current management had known nothing


sources at the network say they had been HEAR
to be released minutes later to the press in the Its existence was eventually reported not by KILLING ME,” it started, in capital let-
name of Andy Lack, chairman of NBC News. NBC but by The Washington Post. Then in ters. “YOU LOOK GREAT TODAY! A BIT
NBC had received a complaint from a col- October 2017, MSNBC’s Mark Halperin, a TOUGH TO CONCENTRATE.”
league about “inappropriate sexual behavior ixture on the Sunday talk shows, was ired The telegenic anchors of the post-Cronkite
in the workplace by Matt Lauer,” it began, for sexual misconduct. era were rock stars of the broadcast world,
going on to say that the network had “reason On Tuesday, November 28—his last day and many acted like it. When Nightline’s Ted
to believe this may not have been an isolated on the job—Lauer had been on set as usual. Koppel gave a eulogy for former ABC News
incident.” Then the bomb drop: “We’ve Among the topics discussed: the engage- anchor Peter Jennings in 2005, he touched,
ment of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle albeit coyly, on his late colleague’s prowess
106 S e pt e m b e r 2 0 1 8 _ E sq u ire and preparations for the tree lighting. in the “bedroom department.” “Peter was
famously, at times notoriously, attractive to there’. . . but it’s like it didn’t matter. I mean, anchor job to Lester Holt in June and parked
women,” Koppel told the twenty-two hun- nothing happened. He tried. But I was like, Williams at MSNBC, with opportunities to
dred mourners at Carnegie Hall. “Even so, ‘Oh, no. No. No.’. . . Like, ‘Are you kidding? return to the main network on special news
he only married four of them.” There are people right outside.’ ” (It is now days. Holt has proved to be a credit to the
Lauer, who paid his dues on local TV before well established that the button at his desk network, and Williams has attracted no fur-
being tapped as a Today guest host in 1993, was a common feature in NBC’s oices en- ther controversy. Lack’s next big move—
had also earned something of a reputation. abling all executives and top talent to swing spending $69 million to hire Megyn Kelly
“Women were throwing themselves at his doors shut but not lock them, as some early away from Fox News—did not pay of so
feet,” notes a senior source at the network news reports alleged. The devices were in- well. After much initial fanfare, Kelly’s
who counts himself among those still willing stalled by GE when it owned NBC.) Sunday-night magazine show has nearly iz-
to defend him, although not publicly, as some- As planned, Zinone left for West Virginia zled into oblivion, and ratings for the nine
one unfairly sacriiced on the altar of #MeToo. and a career that would alternate between o’clock hour of Today, which she now pre-
“He was Matt Lauer—he was a star.” Rumors TV anchoring and military service, includ- sides over, haven’t been much better. Noth-
of his extramarital afairs with other stars, ing two tours in Iraq. ing, however, has tarnished Lack’s reputa-
among them NBC’s own Natalie Morales, Soon after the afair began, and again in tion, or that of NBC, more than the events
would periodically appear in the gossip col- 2006, just after Lauer had been served with of the past year.
umns. (These rumors have been strenuously divorce papers, tabloid reporters approached Most of us learned of Lauer’s fate from
denied by both Lauer and Morales.) her with questions about the Today host. More Guthrie and Kotb, who had no choice but to
And there were whispers about his mar- than once, she says, she was ofered money begin that Wednesday broadcast with an ex-
riage to Roque, a Dutch-born former model. to speak. In 2006, Zinone asked if Lauer had planation of his absence. Among the irst to
After being set up on a blind date, the couple a private email they could use to communi- react was President Donald Trump. “Wow,
had married in Bridgehampton in 1998, ten cate rather than his NBCUniversal address. Matt Lauer was just ired from NBC for ‘inap-
years after Lauer’s irst marriage, to Nancy “Nope, this is it,” Zinone remembers him propriate sexual behavior in the workplace,’ ”
Alspaugh, had ended in divorce. In 2006, saying. “What’s up?” he tweeted. “But when will the top executives
Roque iled divorce papers accusing him of “I was like, ‘Wow.’ It just shows that over a at NBC & Comcast be ired for putting out
“extremely controlling” behavior and “cruel period of time, from my perspective, he ei- so much Fake News. Check out Andy Lack’s
and inhumane treatment,” but subsequently ther felt entitled or never felt like he was going past!” NBCNews.com dutifully reported the
withdrew them. to be called out or face consequences for it.” president’s tweet, but it excised those last ive
“This is Matt-freaking-Lauer. Right?” says In 2009, she returned to her alma mater, words. (Precisely what Trump was insinuat-
Zinone, now a forty-two-year-old mother of Temple, to be inducted into its journalism ing remains unclear.)
two who lives in California. “At the height of hall of fame for her work in Iraq as part of the The scandal broke just under two months
his success. He can do no wrong.” Army’s media unit. Lauer was there to receive after Harvey Weinstein had been exposed,
Lauer had booked a quiet table at Palio, a a media-excellence award. They exchanged and many more heads would roll in the com-
now-defunct Italian power-lunch spot in mid- hellos and made awkward small talk. ing weeks. Damage control was everything.
town Manhattan, in July 2000, and Zinone One of the irst steps the company took was
agreed to join him. ore straggly on top than he used to sever all ties with Lauer and scrub from
“You became such friends with everybody to be, his famously luxuriant eye- its websites any promotional materials fea-
else but not with me,” she recalls him say- brows now tinged with gray, turing the former Today host. “That was all
ing, referring to Today costars Ann Curry, Al Andy Lack was surely struggling they cared about,” one source who’s still on
Roker, and Katie Couric. “And it gets into with déjà vu when in March 2015 the digital team recalls. “No one for one sec-
‘Oh, I’m such an old guy.’ He turned it on so he found himself riding the ele- ond thought to ask us how we were doing.”
that I would sort of be like, ‘Oh, Matt, come vators at 30 Rock once again. In In a new statement, NBC insisted “un-
on, you know that’s not true.’ 1993, he’d been hired as presi- equivocally” that “current NBC News man-
“I was like perfect prey,” Zinone says. dent of news to right the ship at agement” had known nothing about Lauer’s
Within minutes of their return to company Dateline following a scandal involving pick- violations until that Monday. In truth, sources
headquarters, Lauer messaged again, plead- up trucks rigged with explosives for a seg- at the network say they had been hearing ru-
ing with her to rendezvous in a room over ment about GM vehicles catching ire. Now, mors for more than a month. A few weeks

about Lauer’s violations UNTIL THAT MONDAY. In truth,


ING RUMORS for more than a month.
Studio 1A. By then fully aware of what he was after a decade at Sony and Bloomberg, he earlier, three news outlets, including Vari-
up to, Zinone hesitated. She replied, mention- was back—this time with the grander title ety, had begun looking into Lauer’s behavior.
ing Lauer’s wife. But he insisted; a car would of chairman of NBC News—to manage an- In one instance, an NBC employee found a
be arriving for him imminently. “A nervous other crisis. Post-it note from a National Enquirer reporter
wreck,” she assented, and the two began what A month before Lack’s rehiring—and on the front door of their home.
would turn into a weeks-long afair. just three years after the bungled iring and “Matt was confronted by several of us di-
On another occasion, he summoned her to tearful farewell of Curry, Meredith Vieira’s rectly, on diferent occasions,” one senior
his oice, even though his assistant sat just Today successor—Nightly News anchor Brian NBC source conirms. “We sat down with
outside. “He pushed the button to shut the Williams was suspended for making up de- him, looked him in the eye, and said, ‘Is there
door. And then I was like, ‘Matt, [she] is out tails about his reporting trips. Lack gave the anything you can think of that even you don’t
consider to be harassment that might fall News Group. Fili-Krushel in turn appointed a broadcast correspondent for twenty years
into this category?’ And every one of those Deborah Turness as the irst female news- (two of them at NBC) who now teaches jour-
times he said there’s nothing. On a couple of division president. During their tenure— nalism at the University of Maryland. “There
those occasions, he said, ‘I’ve been racking both left 30 Rock by early 2017—two senior is some systemic rot.”
my brain.’ Those were his words.” male news employees were shown the door The felling of Halperin and then Lauer em-
So it seems they weren’t quite blindsided. for bad behavior, an in-house mini-drama boldened more women to step forward and
But what about all the years prior? “People that has not been previously reported. share long-hidden secrets, including Zinone,
know,” says journalist and media critic Ken But it also seems true that Today operated who opened up to Megyn Kelly a week before
Auletta, who has covered the network for more within NBC News as a change-resistant Christmas. “I had no idea there were others,”
than twenty-ive years. “People [inside the net- clique that looked down on its less proitable she says. “I was like, ‘Oh my gosh, I wasn’t the
work] know a lot more than people outside do division cousins, even Nightly News. “It is a only one. I wasn’t the only one who caved.
and gossip a lot more and resent a lot more (a) staggeringly locked-in culture,” notes one I wasn’t the only one who fell under that
because they think it’s wrong or (b) because former staf member. At its center was Lauer, spell.’” Early this year, she cofounded a group
they’re jealous or (c) because how the fuck is who routinely dismissed suggested tweaks called Press Forward; it aims both to encour-
this guy getting away with it?” Zinone is also to the Today formula, even in the post-Curry age victims to tell their stories and to help
sure people at the network knew. Years ago, years, when the show slipped to number two draft new guidelines for protecting and nur-
when she was still in Iraq, a colleague at Today behind ABC’s Good Morning America. “It is turing women in the media workplace.
proposed doing a segment on her. A producer,
she says, not only nixed the idea but also bad-
mouthed Zinone for no apparent reason. They
“had to have known something,” she says.
“Why not just say, ‘Nah, that’s not a story I’m
interested in’?”
Many of the same NBC executives who’d
professed shock at Lauer’s behavior were at
a private Friars Club roast for the anchor at
a Manhattan hotel in 2008. Also in atten-
dance was Trump, then the host of Celebrity
Apprentice. The proceedings were recorded
by a reporter from The Village Voice. One
after another, speakers delivered a fusil-
lade of sexually charged innuendos. Couric
rehearsed a David Letterman–style Top
ADDIE PATRICIA ANNETTE DEBORAH
Ten list; number two referenced a sex act ZINONE FILI-KRUSHEL ROQUE TURNESS
between Lauer and Curry. Jef Zucker, then
he former “Today” Appointed chair Lauer’s estranged Fili-Krushel named
chief of NBCUniversal, spoke of Lauer’s production assistant of NBCUniversal wife first filed for her News president
nights on an oice couch because of marital told reporters last News Group in divorce back in in 2013; two male
troubles at home. Joe Scarborough, cohost year that she had 2012, she was 2006, citing “cruel employees were fired
of Morning Joe on MSNBC, commented an afair with replaced by Andy and inhumane for bad behavior
on the night’s events on-air not long after Lauer in 2000. Lack in 2015. treatment.” during their tenure.
Lauer’s iring. “The whole theme was that
he does the show and then he has sex with
people, with employees,” Scarborough said.
“So was this whispered behind closed doors? a little bit of a Greek tragedy,” the same per- Jessica Steyers, who was at NBC Sports on
No. It was shouted from the mountaintops son comments. “He just became so power- and of from 2004 to 2010 as a researcher,
and everybody laughed about it.” ful, everything got sucked into that vortex.” writer, and producer and helped cover four
What’s more, in a 2012 appearance on But once the allegations against him Olympic Games, also spoke of constant harass-
Andy Cohen’s Watch What Happens Live, emerged, suddenly it was no longer about ment by coworkers that was never addressed.
Couric was asked about Lauer’s most annoy- him; it was about the network. “While the Steyers says she reported the behavior, but
ing habit in the years she worked alongside anchor is a godlike igure, the most import- “the overall sense was that nobody wanted to
him. “He pinches me on the ass a lot,” she ant thing is keeping the good name of the do anything.” Then there was the lewd com-
replied. Days after his termination, a video network,” Auletta says. “When Andy Lack ment from a producer who saw her kneeling
snippet surfaced that apparently showed a ired Matt Lauer, he didn’t just ire him be- on the ground talking to someone at a national
moment during a Today commercial break in cause he was outraged by his behavior. He gymnastics championship in Houston: “When
October 2006 when Lauer seemingly made ired him to protect NBC.” you’re inished on your knees, can you please
a crude comment about Vieira. “Keep bend- Two days after Lauer’s dismissal, it was come over to me next?”
ing over like that. It’s a nice view,” he was reported that NBCUniversal CEO Steve Steyers’s story came via UltraViolet, a
heard to say. Burke had appointed the company’s own women’s-rights group that posted ads on
Sources at the network say that NBC News legal counsel, Kim Harris, to lead a review LinkedIn and other online platforms asking
had long operated as a kind of boys’ club of what had happened, a decision that struck NBC employees to volunteer personal stories
in which such peccadilloes and intraoice some observers as suspect. “Anyone who was of harassment or abuse. She and two other
lings were swept under the rug. In recent afraid to talk before the investigation is not women I spoke to on the condition of ano-
years, however, that had started to change, likely to speak up when attorneys from inside nymity said they were neither surprised by
prompted by the 2012 appointment of Patricia their company try to interview them,” the ac- the Lauer scandal when it broke nor hope-
Fili-Krushel as the chair of NBCUniversal cuser’s lawyer, Wilkenfeld, told Esquire. “Al- ful that actions taken since, including the
most always in scandals of this kind there’s internal review, would bring about mean-
10 8 S e pt e m b e r 2 0 1 8 _E sq u ire not just one bad actor,” notes Mark Feldstein, ingful change. Some also relected on the net-
work’s questionable handling of big stories working with full-time NBC employees he NBCUniversal review was
about powerful men intimidating or abus- and had spent eight months on the story. inally released in May. The seven-
ing women. After NBC neglected to report “I still don’t understand why they didn’t page report noted that “within two
on the Access Hollywood tape for four whole run it,” says Auletta, who helped connect weeks” of Lauer’s iring, the com-
days, the story, arguably the most import- him with The New Yorker. (Farrow won a pany received information about
ant of the election, leaked to The Washington Pulitzer prize for the story.) “three additional women” who’d
Post, which turned it around in just ive hours. “This story has revealed so much about been inappropriately approached
The delay may have had to do with the evil of men,” Farrow said while accept- by him dating back to 2000, 2001,
shielding the other man on the tape, Billy ing a 2017 Vital Voices Solidarity Award in and 2007, respectively. Yet it ex-
Bush, who only shortly before had be- December. “The crimes, the abuse of power, onerated management, insisting
come a Today host. “NBC News had [the the men who preyed upon the vulnerable, the no one in NBC News leadership
tape],” says the senior source at the net- men who maintained a veil of silence around had received “any complaints
work, who thought others at NBC found that predation.” Now he has a book in the about Lauer’s workplace behavior prior to
the tape “damaging to Billy” and “didn’t works, provisionally titled Catch and Kill, November 27.” (The report did note that
want to take down their own guy. They got a phrase previously associated with David Lauer “could be flirtatious . . . and would
hammered for that.” Bush was, in the event, Pecker’s National Enquirer. It promises to openly engage in sexually oriented banter
fired. For its part, the network has said it ofer a starkly diferent version of Farrow’s in the workplace,” which “may have contrib-
took time to legally vet the story and decide experiences at the network, including a dis- uted to an atmosphere where some employ-
where it should air. That’s plausible. But at missal of the notion that their parting of ways ees who may have had concerns assumed noth-
the very least, this seems to say something was amicable, an idea that NBC still clings ing would be done to address them.”) Lack
about the network’s sense of urgency. “I to. “Nobody here thought that there was any simultaneously sent a “Dear colleagues”
felt that over the years the journalism was bad blood,” the senior source at NBC says. memo to employees, lamenting that the “last
getting softer and softer,” notes a recently “And when he broke the story, we were all few months have been extraordinarily dii-
departed employee who worked at NBC proud of him.” cult.” Once again, the network’s explanation
News for more than a decade. “If you wanted Farrow is likely to challenge NBC’s asser- was met with skepticism.
something serious on-air, you were con- tions regarding the progress he had or hadn’t “What Matt Lauer was able to do does not
stantly embattled.” made—for example, he had audio of Wein- happen as a one-of; this happens as the re-
In the minds of many, the Trump-tape stein admitting to sexual assault on a tape re- sult of a culture and a pattern of protecting
iasco later became conlated with the net- corded by the NYPD. A source involved at the stars and making them untouchable,” says
work’s handling, in 2017, of the Harvey time says the network canceled interviews out Karin Roland, UltraViolet’s campaigns chief.
Weinstein afair—in particular the deci- from under Farrow—one with a Weinstein “An internal investigation of NBC investigat-
sions to allow the journalist Ronan Farrow victim ready to talk for the irst time—and ing themselves, their own management, and
to take his months-long investigation into ordered the producers working with him not work culture is a sham, a classic case of a fox
Weinstein elsewhere, and then to ignore it to take any more calls on the story. guarding a henhouse. It needs an external, not
in the irst hours after the scandal broke in On October 5, the day The New York Times internal, investigation. They need to investi-
The New York Times. published its irst bombshell scoop on Wein- gate not just Lauer but the management and
“I think it’s all of a piece,” Feldstein says. stein, naming Ashley Judd as a victim in the the culture that allowed that to continue.”
“All of this put together suggests a really trou- lead, NBC was the only network not to even Days before the report was released, Tom
bling culture when it comes to truth, which mention it on its evening news broadcast. Brokaw found himself accused by a former
is what a news organization values above Even the next day, while its rival morning NBC correspondent, Linda Vester, of mak-
all else. Truth in owning up to sexual mis- shows pored over the fast-breaking scandal, ing unwanted advances on her in the 1990s.
conduct. Truth in reporting what it knows Today referred to it only briely in the run of Though diferent in degree, the allegations,
about. All of this shakes the public credibility the news digest. A segment was planned for published by The Washington Post and Variety,
of NBC News as an independent journalis- that morning, according to the senior source nevertheless threatened the reputation of the
tic institution.” at the network, but it never aired. network’s mascot of journalistic gravitas. In an
NBC still struggles to justify its decision Producers of both Nightly News and Today email to friends that became public, Brokaw
last summer to take a pass on the material strongly deny that the network actively inter- suggested that Vester had had a mediocre
Farrow had on Weinstein by suggesting it fered in their decisions. “It is patently false to career, was being “melodramatic,” and “had
fell short journalistically. “We reached a say we were ordered to kill or ignore the story,” trouble with the truth.” He’d been the victim
point where he believed his story was ready says Janelle Rodriguez, senior vice-president of a “drive-by shooting” and implied that he
for broadcast. At that time, he did not have of editorial in charge of Nightly News. Simi- had been used by Vester to advance her career.
a single victim or witness to misconduct by larly adamant were Libby Leist and her coex- (He said he’d helped her land a job at Fox.)
Harvey Weinstein that was willing to be iden- ecutive producer at Today, Tom Mazzarelli. A letter in defense of Brokaw quickly sur-
tiied, not one,” a senior source at NBC says. “We were never told how to cover the Wein- faced, signed by more than one hundred
NBC News president Noah Oppenheim, stein story. Any suggestion otherwise is to- women, both formerly and currently at NBC.
who’d returned to NBC from Hollywood— tally false,” they say in a joint statement It did not originate inside the network, but it
he wrote the screenplay for Jackie, the 2016 NBCUniversal provided to Esquire. “NBC did circulate on the newsroom loor. NBC re-
biopic about Jacqueline Kennedy—report- News has run 158 stories on or mentions porters who might have had reason to cover
edly made the same case at a staf meeting a of Weinstein since the news irst broke,” the Brokaw story were required to make ref-
day after Farrow implied on MSNBC’s The Rodriguez says, adding that “NBC News erence to the letter.
Rachel Maddow Show that the network had pursued, booked, and aired the irst tele- When advertisers gathered at Radio City
caved to outside pressure. vision interview with a Weinstein vic- Music Hall this past spring for a preview of
Even if Farrow did have more work to do, tim within three (business) days of the NBC’s fall season, the network’s own Seth
as NBC maintains, why abandon all the in- Weinstein story breaking in the Times.” Meyers told the crowd, “It’s not surpris-
vestment already made and allow a com- Yet none of that explains why the net- ing for NBC to be (c ont i nu e d on p a ge 1 53)
peting news organization to benefit? Al- work, unlike its competitors, failed to fully
though he was a contractor, Farrow was cover the scandal in the hours after it broke. S eptember 2018_Esquire 1 09
One
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T R A ed d t y s
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upper-middle-class community, the only child
of Chips, an adman and writer, and Ann, an
artist. His parents still live nearby.
“Ready for the ive-dollar tour?” he asks.
Photographs by Our plan is to trace the path from what he calls

GREG his “privileged bourgeois background” to the


upper-upper-class town of Richmond, where

WE’RE at the first stop on Tom Hardy’s


literal tour down memory lane, and he’s
Williams he now lives with his wife, actor Charlotte
Riley, and their child, his second. (He also
has a ten-year-old son with assistant director
already causing trouble. The caretaker of Rachael Speed.) The journey is short in dis-
St. Leonard’s Court, an apartment building tance—a little more than two miles—but
in the leafy London suburb of East Sheen, ultramarathon-long in life experience.
comes out to the driveway to say that a tenant “I’m the youngest person to own a lat on “Behind the Laura Ashley curtains, there
has lodged a noise complaint. Hardy leans this block,” Hardy, forty, tells me, sounding was naughtiness and fuckeries!” he begins like
back in the saddle of the ofending source, a both proud and bemused. He bought the place an overenthused docent. I point out that’s a
Triumph Thruxton itted with a not-so-subtle ifteen years ago, moved out six years later, line he’s delivered many times to many writ-
1200cc engine. “Must be hard for someone and now uses it as a crash pad for out-of-town ers. He shrugs. “It’s easier to say that than to
who’s home at 3:00 P.M. on a Tuesday do- guests. He didn’t choose the location for its so- go deep-sea diving into it.” To Hardy, a iercely
ing fuck-all, innit?” he says to the caretaker, cial scene, if the few geriatric residents shuf- private man and a reluctant public igure,
who’s already in retreat. Then, overriding ling by are any indication. Rather, he was the canned story serves the useful purpose
his knee-jerk snark: “It won’t happen again.” the prodigal son returned: He grew up in the of making an unsuspecting person feel like

TWO WHEELS AND A GRAVEL ROAD Jacket and jeans by Belstaff; T-shirt by Alternative Apparel; boots by Triumph; sunglasses by Carrera. 111
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they’re getting to know the real Tom. “Should to put everything on hold.” A smile cracks another bearded, inked-up passerby. He’s
we fuck of?” he asks as we pull on our gear. across his face. “Welcome to my neighbor- wearing a loose T-shirt and cargo pants with
Except for the beat-up jeans, his ive-foot- hood. I told you there’s always something to enough pockets to it all the world. Brown
nine frame is covered in black, from his hel- ind behind the Laura Ashley curtains.” fuzz dusts the crown of his head. A copper

Private
met to his motorcycle boots. We get on our beard stippled with gray blankets the lower
bikes and fuck of. half of his face.
Five minutes later, just past the prep school He answers my irst question—how he’s
he attended as a boy, Hardy spots a commo- doing—without missing a beat: “I’m tired.”
tion, and we pull over. A woman, blood cov- Tom and Public Hardy: These are the He’s been working a lot, mostly on Marvel’s
ering her face, lies faceup, half on the side- two sides that deine him. That his time is split Venom (October 5), in which he plays the
walk and half in the street. A few bystanders between work life and family life, and that title role, a reporter named Eddie Brock whose
are crouched around. As Hardy approaches, his obligations toward both are sometimes body is hijacked by an alien symbiote. Venom
he says, “I know her.” at odds, isn’t unique. However, his steadfast has remained one of Spider-Man’s best-known

MAE,
struggle to separate them is; he’d be thrilled foes since he irst appeared in comic-book form

IT’S if never the two should meet. But they do,


with increasing frequency, in ways that are
in the late eighties. At times, he’s an outright
villain; at others, including in Hardy’s hands,
beyond his control. he’s more of an antihero. He can’t discuss
the mother of one of Hardy’s childhood Public Hardy may be an accomplished ac- the plot, but he says the tone of the movie,
best friends.* He drops to one knee and takes tor in the U. S., but in his home country he’s directed by Ruben Fleischer (Zombieland), is
her hand in his. Someone in the crowd tells a national treasure. In June, he was awarded “dark and edgy and dangerous.”
us that Mae tripped while walking her dog. the title Commander of the Order of the Brit- The three-month shoot, which ended in
She’s slipping in and out of consciousness. ish Empire, which, while not as prestigious as January, took him to Atlanta, New York,
“Mae, it’s Tommy,” Hardy says. “Squeeze knighthood, is on the same scale. In February, and San Francisco, where the movie is set.
my hand. Keep talking to us. Can you open Glamour UK named him the sexiest man of “I see America by where the tax breaks are,”
your eyes?” She moans. He tries out a joke. 2018. Madame Tussauds in London recently he jokes. Next, he headed to New Orleans
“Are you Canadian?” he asks. She manages displayed his likeness reclining on an oxblood to play a syphilitic Al Capone in Fonzo, directed
a word: “No. ” He says, “Not even a little chesterield couch, one arm perched atop the by Josh Trank (Chronicle). That crew went
Canadian?” She doesn’t reply. back cushion like an invitation. (“Cosy up to hard: nineteen hours a day for six weeks. The
By the time the ambulance arrives, Mae Tom on his leather sofa and feel his heartbeat day they wrapped, he lew home, threw on
is responding, but barely. Shortly after, her and the warmth of his torso in what is surely a suit, and attended the royal wedding with
son Albert pulls up on his bicycle. When the hottest seat in town,” hypes the wax Riley. (All he’ll say about why they landed the
he sees his mother laid out, he bites his ist. museum’s site.) He tells well-worn anec- coveted invite is that “it’s deeply private” and
Hardy wraps his arms around his friend, dotes to keep Private Tom concealed, and he’s “Harry is a fucking legend.”) The work wasn’t
both to comfort him and to keep him at a always on alert. the hardest thing; it was, he says, spending
safe distance. We meet for the first time the day be- such long stretches away from his family.
The paramedics load Mae onto a stretcher, fore the accident, at the Bike Shed, a mo- Yet workwise, Hardy has arrived at what
and Hardy asks if they can bring Albert, torcycle club and café in Shoreditch where, you might call a stakes moment, one that’s
too, then asks again to make sure they re- last year, he spent his fortieth birthday. It’s twenty years in the making. At the dawn of his
member. They say yes, but they’ll irst check Hardy’s favorite place in London—not sur- career, after landing just two small roles, albeit
Mae’s vitals. prising, as he’s an investor in the company, in big projects—Band of Brothers and Black
After the ambulance doors close, Hardy which plans to open a location in Los Hawk Down—he scored his irst major part,
turns his attention back to Albert. “Your Angeles soon. Every few minutes during as the bald, asexual villain in 2002’s Star Trek:
mom took a whack to the forehead. But I’m our conversation, he nods hello to yet Nemesis. But the movie tanked, snuing buzz
not concerned immediately, ’cause over his excellent performance. Five
she’s responding better than when we years of forgettable ilms and a few
arrived. And ’cause they’re not rush- “NINE TIMES OUT distinguished stage performances
ing of. You settle in at the hospital,
and then we’ll meet you.” Albert pro-
OF TEN, passed before Hardy played lead
roles that fully showcased his tal-
tests, but Hardy stops him. “I’m one WHEN SOMEBODY SAYS, ents: the homeless drug addict with

‘DON’T
of your best mates, and I love you.” a heart of gold in the BBC’s Stuart:
He slips money into Albert’s pocket. A Life Backwards (2007), for which
“Just for now,” he says. As soon as the he shed nearly thirty pounds, and
ambulance leaves, bound for Kings- the most violent inmate in Britain in
ton Hospital, he calls Albert’s wife. Bronson (2009), for which he packed
For the half hour we’ve been here, on ifteen pounds of muscle.

do THAT,’
Hardy has not stopped moving. He’s Physical change is just part of
talked himself through each step Hardy’s exacting, chameleonlike
as if checking of boxes on a crisis transformations. “One can em-
to-do list. Suddenly, he turns to me bellish with lair or an accent,” he
and considers our circumstances. We says. “But ultimately you need to
began the day as writer and subject, ground the character in some form of
but that dynamic dissolved the mo- MY INSTINCT IS recognizable truth.” Hardy will talk
ment he saw Mae. “There was no in-
terview here,” he says. “We ind our-
TO SAY, your ear of about acting theory—
Stanislavsky versus Adler, presenta-
selves in a situation where we needed ‘THAT HAS TO BE DONE.’” tion versus representation, the use of

* SOME NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED. 113


clowning and mask work. “I’m a complete geek vices, among other things. Sony weathered
about it,” he says. But those seams don’t show. a rough patch last year—a nearly $1 billion
At his best, Hardy so thoroughly embodies a write-down—then recovered with the help
character, in both body and spirit, that he all of the ifth- and sixth-highest-grossing ilms
but disappears. of the year worldwide: the Jumanji sequel
Take a scene from 2015’s The Revenant. and Spider-Man: Homecoming, the feverishly
Hardy plays Fitzgerald, the coldhearted fur anticipated relaunch of its most valuable
trapper and the target of revenge for Leonardo property. The studio now plans to develop
DiCaprio’s Glass. One night, around a camp- a franchise of interconnected Spider-Man-
ire, Fitzgerald makes a veiled threat to a sus- related movies that will ill the cofers for years.
picious travel companion. (To watch, Google Venom is the irst oicial entry.
“God is a squirrel.”) He never raises his voice, “If the odds are stacked against Sony, that’s
but it’s as if he’s ripped out the man’s heart. not my fucking business,” Hardy says. “It’s
Hardy’s performance earned him both an irrelevant.” He burnishes an image of himself
Oscar nomination and, after losing a bet with as a creative lone wolf, and in the third person
DiCaprio over whether he’d receive such rec- no less: “Tom is very mercenary when it comes
ognition, a tattoo on his right arm that reads to work. I cannot give a fuck what the writer,
LEO KNOWS ALL. or the director, or Larry in Baltimore thinks
His knack for magnetic unease can inject a about my choices.” (He later clariies the per-
blockbuster with edge: Mad Max: Fury Road, spective shift: “Sometimes I talk in the third
Inception, and, most notably, The Dark Knight person because it’s a lot easier to see myself at
Rises. But aside from Fury Road, whenever he’s work as a piece of meat. So when Tommy says
assumed the lead role—Lawless, Warrior, This he doesn’t give a fuck what you think, it’s only
Means War, The Drop, Locke, Legend, Child because I give too much of a fuck, and it gets
44—the results have come up short critically, to a point where it stiles me.”) But it’s hard to
commercially, and sometimes both. Venom is square his claims of artistic purity with the oc-
Hardy’s most visible role yet. casional very non-lone-wolf detail like, “Mar-
“Sounds like a lot of pressure, doesn’t it?” ket research shows that the biggest fan base for
he half-jokes. But he says he’s not concerned Venom is ten-year-old boys in South America.”
about box-oice returns; as always, he’s con- If this movie does well, there will be sequels.
sumed with building a good character. He ad- And if Sony builds its cinematic Spidey uni-
mits he knew little about Venom when he irst verse, Hardy may well appear in those, too.
read the script. “So I spoke to the only person Beyond those commitments, he’s vague about
I could really trust in this environment: my his post-Fonzo plans, most of which don’t in-
older boy.” His comic-book-loving son “was volve acting. “What I’d like to do is produce.
a huge inluence on me doing the role.” Write. Direct,” he says. Through his produc-
Hardy prepped for the movie for more than a tion company, Hardy Son & Baker, he’s work-
year. He undergoes a rigorous process to shape ing on the second season of Taboo, a moody
each performance, complete with its own ar- period drama set in early-1800s London that
got. A script is a “case ile,” to be “unpacked” he stars on and cowrites with his father. The
via “investigation.” He often begins by using irst season was a mixed bag—its premiere
personalities, both real and ictive, as lode- ranks as one of the most streamed episodes
stars toward which he guides his portrayal. The of any BBC show, but historians criticized its
voice he developed for Al Capone in Fonzo is accuracy and U. S. viewers met its FX airing
based on Bugs Bunny’s; to prove it, he plays with indiference—yet his stature is such that
me a clip of the raw footage on his phone. the BBC green-lighted the second season.
Sure enough, he sounds like the cartoon rab- He also optioned Once a Pilgrim, a thriller
bit with a severe case of vocal fry. In Venom, by a veteran of the Parachute Regiment, the
the dual roles of Eddie Brock and Venom re- elite airborne infantry of the British army;
minded him of three wildly diferent traits he’s considering directing the adaptation.
of three wildly diferent people: “Woody Hardy’s future looks rosy. And yet, more
Allen’s tortured neurosis and all the humor than anything, he feels worn down. Physically,
that can come from that. Conor McGregor— sure: He’s walking with a limp. He says he
the überviolence but not all the talking. And tore his right meniscus on the set of Venom,
Redman”—the rapper—“out of control, liv- but he doesn’t know how it happened. “At the
ing rent-free in his head.” Those are not de- end of a job, I normally end up on the side of
tails he revealed to the execs at Sony, which the road,” he says. “And then carrying the tod-
is producing the movie. “You don’t say shit dler around on my shoulders. . .” He lets loose
like that to the studio,” he says. a two-note cackle. “Things get in the way of
Hollywood is having a stakes moment of looking after yourself.”
its own. Disney’s acquisition of Fox is the But the fatigue is also mental. Maybe it’s
latest sign that the studio system is strug- because the growing demands of the job, es-
gling to adapt to the rise of streaming ser- pecially the time spent far from his wife and

114
E
“Sou ASY B
n E
Hard ds like I N G G
in po y half- a R
jokes lot of p E E N
tent
Suit a ial fr abou ress
nd sh a n chis t his lea ure,”
irt by e sta d
rter role
Gucc
i; vint
age t Veno
ie, sty
list’s
own. m.
children, are beginning to outweigh its di- brush, a view of the Thames, a tree with mopeds were T-boned at an intersection and
minishing gratiication. When I ask if being knotted bark—he raises two ingers to his tried to run, Hardy, who lived nearby, ap-
forty has changed how he feels about his eyes in a V, then points so I see it too, like I’m prehended one of them. The Sun headline
career, this time he answers in the second his Dunkirk wingman. sums up how the press covered the incident:
person. “You’ve summited Everest. It’s a We pull over at a dead end. With our en- “Tom Hardy Catches Thief After Dramatic
miracle that you’ve made it anywhere near gines rumbling, Hardy tells me that his par- Hollywood-Style Chase Through Streets Be-
the fucking mountain, let alone climbed it. ents moved to this part of London to enroll fore Proudly Saying, ‘I’ve Caught the C**t.’ ”
Do you want to go all the way back and do it him in the best schools they could aford. The He disputes the details of what was reported—
again? Or do you want to get of the moun- area is among the wealthiest in the UK, but it’s “It wasn’t much of a chase; when I found him,
tain and go fucking ind a beach?” He tugs his also an economic patchwork where council he was in fucking rag order”—but that’s be-
left temple so hard that it looks like the skin houses sit blocks away from mansions. “Grow- side the point. The tabloids missed the real
might tear. “What is it that draws you to the ing up, you mix and mingle. You can sit in the story: After the incident, he tracked down the
craft? At this age, I don’t know anymore. I’ve shit if you want to, or you can make something kid he turned in and got him help. “He must
kind of had enough. If I’m being brutally hon- of yourself,” he says. “Or you can end up un- stand accountable for what he’s done,” Hardy
est, I want to go on with my life.” der too much pressure and fading out young.” tells me. “But he’s got issues, and he’s in a bad
As a child, Hardy had a strong relationship way. Do we just give up on a sixteen-year-old?”

A F T E R ThE
ambulance leaves with Mae and Albert,
with Ann, but he butted heads with Chips.
Father and son made up years ago, and Hardy
resists going into detail about their diicult
past. “My father was the most wonderful of
As a boy, Hardy was given second, third, and
fourth chances. Along the way, he discovered
that acting ofered an outlet for his baneful dis-
content. He attended one drama school, then
Hardy suggests that we stop at a few places teachers in a world that can be cruel,” he al- another, got kicked out twice, and was cast in
on our way to the hospital. Not for my ben- lows. “He treated me like an adult, as opposed Band of Brothers before he graduated.
eit, but for his friend’s. “Albert needs to be to changing his persona for his child. There Still, for years, he questioned his chosen
alone with his mum and his thoughts,” he says. was no ilter. Do you understand? No ilter.” path. Hardy even signed up for a Parachute
“He’s going to be taking care of her, so it’s im- In his teens, Hardy wobbled. “The cen- Regiment training course—but never fol-
portant he pays attention. Sometimes, when trifugal force in my life is a natural dispo- lowed through. “Oh, mate, I did so much
there are other people around, that’s hard to sition to not be happy with the way I feel,” backpedaling,” he says. “The reality is that
do.” Hardy isn’t trying to swashbuckle; he’s he says. That, combined with a robust con- where I belonged was not there. The last per-
thinking of how to best help two loved ones. trarian bent—“Nine times out of ten, when son defending the realm was Mr. Hardy.”
And, apparently, a guy he just met: Look- somebody says, ‘Don’t do that,’ my instinct He calls the decision to back out “one of my
ing me up and down, he says, “We’ve had a is to say, ‘That has to be done’ ”—got him biggest regrets. I wonder what life would’ve
bit of a shock ourselves. We could use some into a fair bit of trouble. He hung out with the been like. I would’ve loved to have served
sugar.” We set out for a refreshment stand wrong crowds; he fought in school. “I grew and been useful.”
in a nearby park he irst came to as a toddler up in the neighborhood being a dick,” he says. In 2003, at twenty-ive, Hardy cleaned up
with his mother to paddle around the kid- “I’ve learned and will continue to learn from with the help of a twelve-step program—
die pool, and then as a teen with Albert and being a dick. To try and somehow chisel my- he calls it “my irst port of call”—and he’s
others to play rugby. self into being a human being so I can respect been sober ever since. “It was hard enough
When we arrive, the stand is closed. As we myself when I look in the mirror. And that’s a for me to say, ‘I’m an alcoholic.’ But staying
get back on our bikes, a father walks by carry- procedure that will go on until I die.” stopped is fucking hard.” Sitting on his Tri-
ing his son, a chubby boy with an explosion of Starting at thirteen, he struggled with al- umph, at the center of the place that held all
straw-colored curls. “How old are you?” Hardy coholism and other addictions. He still has the risks and possibilities that would deine
asks the boy. a soft spot for those with similar demons. him, Hardy sounds almost wistful.
“He’s two,” the dad beams. In April 2017, when two kids riding stolen We take of through the park. He rides with
“When will you be three?” his legs bowed out, his left hand rest-
Hardy asks. ing on his knee, and his right hand
“July,” the toddler says softly. “YOU’VE SUMMITED holding steady on the throttle. When
“That’s really soon!” he says. E V E R E ST. he rips on a vape pen, white plumes

DO YoU
“You’re a bit older than my young- swirl around his head and dissipate
est, who’ll be three in October. Oh, into the damp air.
you’ll be a big boy by then. You’re
already a big boy. Do you want to sit
on my bike?” The boy buries his face WE HEAD to Richmond.

WANT To DO
in his father’s chest. “I appreciate The town sits within the borders of
I’ve made you feel nervous. This is Greater London, but its roots are
what I will do: I will disappear,” he as much in the countryside as in the
says, which could double as his two- city. Generations of famous Brits
sentence acting manifesto. He revs
his engine over and over. As we de-
part, the boy watches Hardy, his
mouth agape.
IT AGaIN?
BRUTALLY
IF I’M BEING
seeking refuge have called it home:
Queen Elizabeth I liked hunting
stags in the park; Charles I relocated
his court here to avoid the plague;
We cut into Richmond Park, a Mick Jagger lived near the Thames
twenty-ive-hundred-acre expanse
that’s equal parts polished and un- HONEST, I WANT TO GO with Jerry Hall, who, though now
married to Rupert Murdoch, appar-
tamed. When something catches
Hardy’s attention—stags in the ON WITH MY LIFE.” ently still co-owns the home they
shared. (c ont i nu e d on p a ge 1 52)

116 Se pt e m b e r 2 0 1 8 _E sq u ire
“I g CAN
rew NO
up N B
tinu I’ve lea . . . bei A L L
con
e to rned ng
a
!
Jum lear a d
n fro nd wi i
ll ck.
psu
it b
y Al mb
pha
Indu
eing
stri a di
es. ck.”
Lighting the Bonfire
Tom Wolfe died this past spring at the age of eighty-eight. Before he became famous for best sellers
The Right Stuf and The Bonire of the Vanities, he was one of the greatest magazine writers who ever lived,
and certainly the most indelible stylist. His first signature story for a national magazine appeared in these pages
in 1963. After having a pitch about tipping turned down, Wolfe was sent to Los Angeles to visit a custom-car
show but got writer’s block. Faced with a deadline, his editor, Byron Dobell, asked Wolfe to provide enough
information for him to write text to accompany a photograph. Wolfe stayed up all night and handed him a
long memo. Dobell made a few amendments, removed “Dear Byron,” and proclaimed it “an astonishing piece.”
Three excerpts by Tom Wolfe

From “There Goes (Varoom! Varoom!) mous. And there is a Chris-Craft cabin cruiser practically religious about it. For example,
in the pool, going around and around, send- the dancers: none of them ever smiled. They
That Kandy Kolored (Thphhh-hhh!)
ing up big waves, with more of these boufant stared at each other’s legs and feet, concen-
Tangerine-Flake Streamline Baby . . .,” babies bunched in the back of it. In the water, trating. The dances had no grace about them
November 1963 suspended like plankton, are kids in Scuba- at all, they were more in the nature of a hoe-
diving outfits; others are tooling around down, but everybody was concentrating to do
THE FIRST good look I had at customized underwater, breathing through a snorkel. And them exactly right. And the boufant kids all
cars was at an event called a “Teen Fair,” all over the place are booths, put up by shoe had form, wild form, but form with rigid stan-
held in Burbank, a suburb of Los Angeles companies and guitar companies and God dards, one gathers. Even the boys. Their dress
beyond Hollywood. This was a wild place to knows who else, and there are kids dancing was prosaic—Levis, Slim Jims, sport shirts,
be taking a look at art objects—eventually, I in all of them—dancing the bird, the hully- T-shirts, polo shirts—but the form was con-
should say, you have to reach the conclusion gully, and the shampoo—with the music of the sistent: a stovepipe silhouette. . . . I went by
that these customized cars are art objects, at hully-gully band piped all over the park one of the guitar booths, and there was a little
least if you use the standards applied in a civ- through loudspeakers. kid in there, about thirteen, playing the hell
ilized society. But I will get to that in a mo- All this time, Tex Smith, from Hot Rod out of an electric guitar. The kid was named
ment. Anyway, about noon you drive up to a Magazine, who brought me over to the place, Cranston something or other. He looked like
place that looks like an outdoor amusement is trying to lead me to the customized-car he ought to be named Kermit or Herschel; all
park, and there are three serious-looking exhibit—“Tom, I want you to see this car that his genes were kind of horribly Okie. Cran-
kids, like the cafeteria committee in high Bill Cushenberry built, The Silhouette”— ston was playing away and a big crowd was
school, taking tickets, but the scene inside which is to say, here are two hundred kids watching. But Cranston was slouched back
is quite mad. Inside, two things hit you. The ricocheting over a platform at high noon, with his spine bent like a sapling up against a
irst is a huge platform a good seven feet of and a speedy little boat barreling around table, looking gloriously bored. At thirteen,
the ground with a hully-gully band—every- and around and around in a round swim- this kid was being fanatically cool. They all
thing is electriied, the bass, the guitars, the ming pool, and I seem to be the only per- were. They were all wonderful slaves to form.
saxophones—and (two) behind the band, on son who is distracted. The customized-car They have created their own style of life, and
the platform, about two hundred kids are do- exhibit turns out to be the Ford Custom Car they are much more authoritarian about en-
ing frantic dances called the hully-gully, the Caravan, which Ford is sending all over the forcing it than are adults. Not only that, but
bird, and the shampoo. As I said, it’s noon- country. At irst, with the noise and peripheral today these kids—especially in California—
time. The dances the kids are doing are very motion and the inchoate leching you are lia- have money, which, needless to say, is why all
jerky. The boys and girls don’t touch, not even ble to be doing, what with boufant nymphets these shoe merchants and guitar sellers and
with their hands. They just ricochet around. rocketing all over the place, these customized the Ford Motor Company were at a Teen Fair
Then you notice that all the girls are dressed cars do not strike you as anything very special. in the irst place. I don’t mind observing that
exactly alike. They have boufant hairdos— Obviously they are very special, but the irst it is this same combination—money plus
all of them—and slacks that are, well, skin- thing you think of is the usual—you know, slavish devotion to form—that accounts for
tight does not get the idea across; it’s more that the kids who own these cars are proba- Versailles or St. Mark’s Square. Naturally, most
the conformation than how tight the slacks bly skinny little hoods who wear T-shirts and of the artifacts that these kids’ money-plus-
are. It’s as if some lecherous old tailor with carry their cigarette packs by winding them form produce are of a pretty ghastly order.
a gluteus-maximus ixation designed them, around in the T-shirt up near the shoulder. But so was most of the paraphernalia that
striation by striation. About the time you’ve But after a while, I was glad I had seen the cars developed in England during the Regency. I
managed to focus on this, you notice that out in this natural setting, which was, after all, a mean, most of it was on the order of starched
in the middle of the park is a huge, perfectly kind of Plato’s Republic for teenagers. Because cravats. . . . But the Regency period did see
round swimming pool; really rather enor- if you watched anything at this fair very long, some tremendous formal architecture. And
you kept noticing the same thing. These kids the kids’ formal society has also brought at
118 Se pt e m b e r 2 0 1 8 _ E sq u ire are absolutely maniacal about form. They are least one substantial thing to a formal devel-
HE HAD LIFTOFF Wolfe, in an atypical dark jacket, classing up an otherwise forlorn stretch of Cape Kennedy, 1972.
opment of a high order—the customized cars. Partly I am on the lookout for the meta- outfit in Mountain View, California, he encoun-
I don’t have to dwell on the point that cars phors of the future. The metaphors we use tered a way of doing business that was nothing
mean more to these kids than architecture did today are pretty worn out. We still talk about short of radical.
in Europe’s great formal century, say, 1750 people with hatchet faces and craggy brows,
to 1850. They are freedom, style, sex, power, for example, even though the number of peo- From “The Tinkerings of Robert
motion, color—everything is right there. ple who ever use hatchets or look up at crags
anymore must be small. We still read about
Noyce,” December 1983
Wolfe, raised in Richmond, Virginia, with “stone-faced” Ed Sullivan. We still read about
a Ph.D. in American studies from Yale, was “barking up the wrong tree,” “an ax to grind,” One day John Carter came to Mountain View
something of an outsider in the statuspheres “a pig in a poke,” “a tough row to hoe,” all of for a close look at Noyce’s semiconductor
of New York and California society that he which is out of the old-homestead past. That operation. Carter’s oice in Syosset, Long
detailed with such relish and wit. But he didn’t is why I read Architectural Record a lot, for ex- Island, arranged for a limousine and chaufeur
delve into the most fashionable subjects of the ample. I am fascinated with the new mate- to be at his disposal while he was in California.
moment—civil rights, the war in Vietnam, rials that are going into buildings. I am sure So Carter arrived at the tilt-up concrete build-
women’s lib. Instead, he celebrated stock-car they will eventually be as natural to us as the ing in Mountain View in the back of a black
drivers and, later, astronauts as true heroes standbys we are used to, wood, stone, brick Cadillac limousine with a driver in the front
at a time when there was nothing less hip than and plaster. Already in this country they are wearing the complete chaufeur’s uniform—
the space program. In this brief 1967 essay, he making roofs of laminated glue purlina with a the black suit, the white shirt, the black neck-
displayed his wide-ranging curiosity, describ- little extruded vinyl inishing here and there, tie, and the black visored cap. That in itself was
ing how he gathered information from dis- walls of transparent acrylic, loors of mag- enough to turn heads at Fairchild Semicon-
parate sources, almost as if he were trying to nesite, Ultralor and Ruberoid Royal Stone- ductor. Nobody had ever seen a limousine and
create for himself a prototype Internet. glow. Hell, tomorrow it may be possible to a chaufeur out there before. But that wasn’t
use beautiful twentieth-century metaphorical what ixed the day in everybody’s memory. It
From “How You Can Be sobriquets like Ruberoid Royal Stoneglow was the fact that the driver stayed out there for
as Well-Informed as Tom Wolfe,” Ed Sullivan and everybody will know what almost eight hours, doing nothing. He stayed
you mean (“The Look of Stone, The Practi- out there in his uniform, with his visored hat
November 1967 cality of Vinyl Asbestos”). . . . on, in the front seat of the limousine, all day,
In Electrical World I see that during the riot doing nothing but waiting for a man who was
I used to read three, four papers a day when I in Detroit, the utility company, Detroit Edi- somewhere inside. John Carter was inside hav-
worked on newspapers here. That was mainly son, sent crewmen in to repair 61 poles, 27 ing a terriic chief executive oicer’s time for
to keep up with what little was going on in transformers, 41 additional capacity fuses, himself. He took a tour of the plant, he held
our poor old fading craft. I don’t ind any pa- 30 4800-volt primary spans and 21 second- conferences, he looked at igures, he nodded
per worth going over every day now. You can ary spans. The company told them that no one with satisfaction, he beamed his urbane Fifty-
get the news a day earlier, usually, and almost had to go into the riot area if he didn’t want to. seventh Street Biggie CEO charm. And the
as fully, on the radio. . . . As for truly original Yet of eighty linemen on the crew—the men driver sat out there all day engaged in the task
and enterprising reporting, it is almost all in most exposed to the snipers—there was only of supporting a visored cap with his head. Peo-
magazines today. . . . one man absent the whole time, and he had just ple started leaving their workbenches and go-
I look at a whole lot of monthly and quar- been in the hospital for an operation. Whatever ing to the front windows just to take a look at
terly magazines, hobbyists’ magazines, socio- may explain this gung ho performance by a this phenomenon. It seemed that bizarre. Here
logical and psychological journals, car maga- group of union wage earners in the year 1967 was a serf who did nothing all day but wait out-
zines, sports magazines; you never know what interests me as much as the cause of the riot. side a door in order to be at the service of the
nice bijoux you are going to ind. But the ones haunches of his master instantly, whenever
I would particularly like to mention are the One of Wolfe’s final magazine profiles, “The Tin- those haunches and the paunch and the jowls
trade magazines. They contain all sorts of kerings of Robert Noyce: How the Sun Rose in might decide to reappear. It wasn’t merely that
information about the new artifacts and general Silicon Valley,” is also one of his best. Though he this little peek at the New York–style corpo-
look and feel of life in this country. I know of eschewed his usual pyrotechnics in favor of more rate high life was unusual out here in the brown
no other way you can read about it. straightforward prose, his instinct for the story hills of the Santa Clara Valley. It was that it
Partly it’s curiosity. In Concrete Construction, everyone else was missing remained intact. When seemed terribly wrong.
for example, I see that the American Smelting this long profile appeared in 1983, in the nascent A certain instinct Noyce had about this
and Reining Company has built a concrete days of the personal-computer revolution, most new industry and the people who worked in it
chimney 828 feet high at its plant near El Paso, people thought of the tech industry as a field for began to take on the outlines of a concept.
Texas. In other words, about eighty stories hopeless nerds, if they thought about tech at all. Corporations in the East adopted a feudal
high, or thirty stories higher than the Wash- (And this was before nerds were cool.) But Wolfe approach to organization, without even be-
ington Monument. It is a rather great-looking grasped the magnitude of the industry’s role in ing aware of it. There were kings and lords,
object. It is only sixty-two feet wide at the base business as well as its potential to transform the and there were vassals, soldiers, yeomen, and
and tapers up, up, up, up. Every day, while they way we live. Here he profiles serfs, with layers of protocol
were building it, some guy would look down Robert Noyce, who coinvented and perquisites, such as the car
the chimney with a bomb-sight-style instru- the integrated circuit and You’ll want to read the rest of and driver, to symbolize supe-
ment to see if it was coming up straight. I won- cofounded Fairchild Semicon- Tom Wolfe’s masterpieces in full. riority and establish the bound-
der what it felt like to look down the damn ductor and Intel—in the process We’ve digitized every story from ary lines. Back east the CEOs
thing every day, say, from forty stories up and fostering a corporate culture that every issue in our trailblazing had oices with carved panel-
eighty-five-year catalog. Read
so on. I wonder if he got to dreading it or if it still holds in Silicon Valley. But in the rest—and dig up some more ing, fake ireplaces, escritoires,
was a big deal. I wonder what would have hap- the early sixties, when the CEO gems while you’re at it—at bergères, leather-bound books,
pened if his vision had been of and the things of Fairchild’s New York–based classic.esquire.com. and dressing rooms, like a suite
started going in an ever-so-slight spiral. parent company visited Noyce’s in a baronial manor house. Fair-

120 S e pt e m b e r 2 0 1 8 _E sq u ire
1 the silicon frontier! Noyce was determined
(1) In New York City, 1965. (2) Wolfe’s
car-culture piece as it appeared in Esquire’s to maintain that spirit during the expansion
November 1963 issue. (3) The assignment card for phase. And for the time being, at least, here
a 1964 profile of Cassius Clay. ($850? Deal!) in the early 1960s, the notion of a permanent
start-up operation didn’t seem too farfetched.
Fairchild was unable to coast on the tremen-
dous advantage Noyce’s invention of the
integrated circuit had provided. Competitors
were setting up shop in the Santa Clara Valley
2 like gold rushers. . . .
The atmosphere of the new companies was
so democratic, it startled businessmen from
the East. Some ifty-ive-year-old biggie with
his jowls swelling up smoothly from out of
his F. R. Tripler modiied-spread white col-
lar and silk jacquard-print necktie would call
up from GE or RCA and say, “This is Harold
B. Thatchwaite,” and the twenty-three-year-
old secretary on the other end of the line, out
in the Silicon Valley, would say in one of those
sunny blond pale-blue-eyed California voices:
“Just a minute, Hal, Jack will be right with you.”
And once he got to California and met this Jack
for the irst time, there he would be, the CEO
himself, all of thirty-three years old, wearing
3 no jacket, no necktie, just a checked shirt, khaki
pants, and a pair of moccasins with welted
seams the size of jumper cables. Naturally
the irst sounds out of this Jack’s mouth would
be: “Hi, Hal.”
It was the 1960s, and people in the East were
hearing a lot about California surfers, Califor-
nia bikers, hot rodders, car customizers, Cali-
fornia hippies, and political protesters, and the
picture they got was of young people in jeans
and T-shirts who were casual, spontaneous,
impulsive, emotional, sensual, undisciplined,
and obnoxiously proud of it. So these semicon-
ductor outits in the Silicon Valley with their
CEOs dressed like camp counselors struck
child Semiconductor needed a strict operating ing his white lab coat. Noyce came to work in them as the business versions of the same thing.
structure, particularly in this period of rapid a coat and tie, but soon the jacket and the tie They couldn’t have been more wrong. The
growth, but it did not need a social structure. were of, and that was ine for any other man new breed of the Silicon Valley lived for work.
In fact, nothing could be worse. Noyce realized in the place too. There were no rules of dress They were disciplined to the point of back
how much he detested the eastern corporate at all, except for some unwritten ones. Dress spasms. They worked long hours and kept
system of class and status with its endless gra- should be modest, modest in the social as well working on weekends. They became absorbed
dations, topped of by the CEOs and vice-pres- as the moral sense. At Fairchild there were no in their companies the way men once had in
idents who conducted their daily lives as if they hard-worsted double-breasted pinstripe suits the palmy days of the automobile industry... .
were a corporate court and aristocracy. He re- and shepherd’s-check neckties. Sharp, elegant, Noyce used to go into a slow burn . . . when
jected the idea of a social hierarchy at Fairchild. fashionable, or alluring dress was a social blun- the newspapers, the magazines, and the
Not only would there be no limousines and der. Shabbiness was not a sin. Ostentation was. television networks got on the subject of
chaufeurs, there would not even be any re- During the start-up phase at Fairchild Semi- the youth. The youth was a favorite topic in
served parking places. Work began at eight conductor there had been no sense of bosses 1968. Riots broke out on the campuses as the
A.M. for one and all, and it would be irst come, and employees. There had been only a com- antiwar movement reached its peak following
irst served, in the parking lot, for Noyce...and mon sense of struggle out on a frontier. Every- North Vietnam’s Tet ofensive. Black youths
everybody else. “If you come late,” Noyce liked one had internalized the goals of the venture. rioted in the cities. . .. The press seemed to en-
to say, “you just have to park in the back forty.” They didn’t need exhortations from superi- joy presenting these youths as the avant-garde
And there would be no baronial oice suites. ors. Besides, everyone had been so young! who were sweeping aside the politics and
The gloriied warehouse on Charleston Road Noyce, the administrator or chief coordina- morals of the past and shaping America’s
was divided into work bays and a couple of rows tor or whatever he should be called, had been future. The French writer Jean-François Revel
of cramped oice cubicles. The cubicles were just about the oldest person on the premises, toured American campuses and called the
never improved. The decor remained Glori- and he had been barely thirty. . . . radical youth homo novus, “the New Man,” as
ied Warehouse, and the doors were always The spirit of the start-up phase! My God! if they were the latest, most advanced product
open. Half the time Noyce, the chief adminis- Who could forget the exhilarations of the past of human evolution itself, after the manner
trator, was out in the laboratory anyway, wear- few years! To be young and free out here on of the superchildren (c ont i nu e d on p a ge 1 53)
GIVE THAT This page:
Coat, jacket,
HANDSOME MUG A REST. sweater, and
trousers by Louis
THE LATEST PIECES Vuitton; shoes
($770) by Fratelli
Rossetti.
FROM LABELS LIKE
Opposite:
VUITTON, Trench coat
($2,795), jacket
VERSACE, AND ($1,795), shirt
($550), and tie
PRADA ($175) by Versace.

ARE SO FRESH
YOU WON’T
HAVE TO RELY ON YOUR
GOOD LOOKS.
Photographs by
JEREMY LIEBMAN
Styling by
NICK SULLIVAN

1 23
This page:
Jacket ($7,900),
sweater ($1,750),
and trousers
($790) by Bottega
Veneta; hat by
Borsalino.

Opposite:
Jacket ($2,620),
shirt ($1,120),
and tie ($270) by
Prada.

SUIT JACKET
OR FLIGHT
JACKET? WHEN
TAILORING
AND SPORTSWEAR
BOTH LOOK THIS
GOOD, THERE’S
NO NEED
TO TAKE SIDES.
1 25
126
This page:
Jacket ($1,700),
turtleneck sweater
($990), trousers
($490), and boots
($1,095) by Etro.
Right: Jacket ($1,790),
turtleneck sweater,
shirt ($690), trousers
($830), and shoes
($995) by Salvatore
Ferragamo.

Opposite:
Jacket ($1,200),
turtleneck sweater
($820), ski pants
($1,200), and boots
($1,365) by Moncler
Grenoble. Right: Coat
($2,120), shirt ($350),
tie ($220), and trousers
($435) by Corneliani.

WHETHER YOU
OPT FOR
A CLASSIC
BLAZER,
TOASTY PUFFER,
OR OLD-SCHOOL
TOPCOAT,
THERE’S NO SHORTAGE OF
WAYS TO
SEEK COVER.
ANNOUNCE
YOURSELF WITH A
TWEEDY
CHECK, OR
GET A FEEL FOR
PLUSH
MOLESKIN.
A LITTLE TEXTURE
ALWAYS
DOES THE TRICK.
128
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Jacket, sweater,
and trousers by
Tod’s; skateboard
($2,975) by
Hermès.

Opposite:
Coat ($10,890),
suit ($12,095), shirt
($695), and tie
($350) by Kiton;
loafers ($670) by
Fratelli Rossetti.
13 0
This page:
Coat ($1,998),
sweater ($298),
trousers ($228),
and boots ($298)
by Michael Kors.

Opposite:
Sweater ($990)
by CALVIN KLEIN
205W39NYC.

ALL-AMERICAN
STAPLES
LIKE GRAPHIC
KNITS
AND SHEARLING
COATS
SHOULD ALWAYS STAY IN
HEAVY
ROTATION.

For store information see page 155. Prop styling by Chelsea Maruskin. Grooming by Lisa-Raquel at See Management for R+Co.
For eons, the earth has had
the same amount of water—no more, no less.
What the ancient Romans used
for crops and Nefertiti drank?
It’s the same stuff we bathe with.
Yet with more than seven billion people on the planet,
experts now worry we’re RUNNING OUT
OF USABLE WATER.
The symptoms are here . . .

13 2
. . . multiyear droughts, large-scale crop
failures, a major city—Cape Town—on the
verge of going dry, increasing outbreaks of
violence, fears of FULL-SCALE
WATER WARS. The big question:
How do we keep the H20 flowing?
By Alec Wilkinson
Illustration by
Sean Freeman
Having evaporated from lakes and rivers and oceans and returned as snow and rain,
has been through innumerable uses. DINOSAURS DRANK IT. The Caesars
It’s been places, and CONSORTED WITH THINGS, that you might not care to

the wildly expanding citizenry required new Hubbert predicted that U. S. oil production
I. All the Water state and federally managed water systems would reach maximum output between 1965
There Is run by Watercrats.
Paper water is also a signiier of a domestic
and 1975, and in 1970 it did, but it has risen
lately because of new means of recovering oil,
HERE’S A CONCEPT: paper water. Paper wa- and global concern called peak water, a term such as fracking. Some people still believe in
ter is water the government grants certain proposed in 2010 by the hydrologist Peter peak oil, and others think there will always
farmers who are drawing water from a river Gleick in a paper he wrote with Meena Pala- be plenty of oil, because there is more we ha-
or a watershed in, say, California. The phrase niappan that was published in Proceedings of ven’t found yet.
describes the water the farmer, under pre- the National Academy of Sciences. Gleick meant That water was in a position similar to oil
mium conditions, is entitled to. Practically, the phrase to be applied to worldwide circum- occurred to Gleick when people would ask if
however, paper water is mostly notional wa- stances, such as those that currently prevail in he thought that the world, with its popula-
ter, conceptual water, wish water, since over Cape Town, South Africa, where, as a result of tion growing alarmingly and climate change
the years California has awarded many times a ferocious three-year drought, the taps might causing certain places to become disastrously
as much paper water as there is actual wa- before long run dry, possibly in 2019—Day water-soaked (South Asia, Texas) while others
ter—which, to distinguish it, is quasi-legally Zero, it’s been called. The U.S. is also afflicted. (Cape Town, California) are water-starved,
called wet water. Some paper water might be In fact, Gleick regards California, with its would ever use up its water. “My irst reac-
made real during years of exceptional abun- relentless, outsized, and wildly conlicting tion was ‘We never run out of water,’ ” Gleick
dance, but most of it will forever be specula- demands on water, as a “laboratory for all of says. “But there’s groundwater in China and
tive and essentially useless, since it can’t re- peak water’s concerns.” India and the Middle East and in America in
alistically be traded, having no value. Paper Peak water derives conceptually from peak the Midwest and California that we really are
water thus amounts to a type of hypothetical oil, a phrase irst used by a geophysicist named using up just like oil.”
currency, backed by the Bank of Nowhere, M. King Hubbert in 1956. Peak oil means Water cannot be created or destroyed; it
Representing Nothing since 1960 (or there- that the planet has only so much oil, and that can only be damaged. When Gleick says we’ll
abouts), when modern water troubles arrived eventually it will grow suiciently scarce that never run out, he means that at some point,
in America and especially in California, where what remains will be too expensive to collect. millions of years ago, there was all the water

13 4 S e pt e m b e r 2 0 1 8 _ E sq u ire
the water we consume the aquifer has dropped several hundreds of
feet in the last forty years, and in places the II. Haves and
did, too. city is sinking four inches every year. As for
Have-nots
the world’s stock, however, nearly all of the
think about. water on earth is salty; less than 3 percent is STATIONARITY, A TERM from statistics, ap-
fresh. Some of that is in rivers, lakes, aqui- plies to contexts in which the past predicts
fers, and reservoirs—the Great Lakes con- the future. When water experts say that we
tain one ifth of the freshwater on the earth’s are “outside stationarity,” they mean that the
surface—and we have stored so much wa- slaphappy way that the world uses water has
ter behind dams that we have subtly afected brought about so many unexampled circum-
the earth’s rotation; but two thirds of all the stances, so many overburdened systems and
freshwater we have is frozen in the earth’s areas of deprivation and depletion, that we
cold places as ice or permafrost, leaving less cannot know how matters will unfold. Some-
than 1 percent of the world’s total water for times water specialists say that the earth is
all living things. Much of that gets a rough experiencing water stress. The Nile, the Rio
ride. American ponds and streams and lakes Grande, the Yellow River in China, the Indus
and rivers contain fungicides, defoliants, sol- in Asia, and the Colorado (which sustains the
vents, insecticides, herbicides, preservatives, American Southwest from Phoenix to Las
biological toxins, manufacturing compounds, Vegas to San Diego) are tapped out. The Ganges
blood thinners, heart medications, perfumes, lows, but it’s unspeakably ilthy.
skin lotions, antidepressants, antipsychotics, With water, there are “distinct classes of
antibiotics, beta blockers, anticonvulsants, water haves and have-nots,” according to Jay
germs, oils, viruses, hormones, and several Famiglietti, who is the senior water scientist
heavy metals. Not all of these are cleansed at the NASA Jet Propulsion Laboratory at the
from water before we drink it. California Institute of Technology. (Earth sci-
There are two kinds of numbers, I believe, ence is part of NASA’s charter.) “The wet ar-
big ones and little ones, but here are some eas of the world are the high latitudes and the
big ones by way of context: According to the tropics, and the areas in between are getting
World Health Organization, among the two drier,” he says. The supercharged hurricanes
billion people who have no drinking water and typhoons that have resulted from global
provided to them, 844 million travel more warming move water around within the re-
than thirty minutes to a river or a tap, where gions that already have water but do nothing
they sometimes receive water contaminated for the parched places.
by human excrement. Such water has the risk America has hot spots, too. California had
of diarrhea, cholera, dysentery, typhoid, and its own Zero Day not long ago when, in Tulare
polio. Nearly 850,000 people die each year County in the Central Valley, an area of cor-
from diarrhea, a cruel circumstance in areas porate farms, something like a thousand wells
short on clean water, since diarrhea works went dry in towns such as East Porterville,
THIRSTY? its efects by means of dehydration. Bangla- meaning that more than seven thousand
he Colorado River Delta, in Northern Mexico, desh, India, Rwanda, and Ghana have some people found themselves occupying houses
photographed in 2010. Most years, of the most tainted water. where you would turn on a tap and nothing
nearly all the river’s water is diverted long before The simplest hardships to invoke are hun- came out. The water table has been diverted
it reaches the delta.
ger and thirst. Only a few hours of depriva- by means of deep wells and irrigation sys-
tion will acquaint a person with both. Half a tems serving the sprawling farms. The county
there is, a result of the law of the conservation gallon of drinking water a day is what each began delivering bottled drinking water,
of matter. Having evaporated from lakes and of us needs to drink to stay alive. (An Ameri- and there were free public showers. Water
rivers and oceans and returned as snow and can uses roughly eighty to a hundred gallons to lush toilets and do laundry came from
rain, the water we consume has been through a day, including toilets, baths and showers, tanks parked at the ire station. People illed
innumerable uses. Dinosaurs drank it. The dishwashers, washing machines, and so on.) barrels and hauled them home.
Caesars did, too. It’s been places, and con- In the dry parts of the world, or the semidry A quarter of all the food grown in America
sorted with things, that you might not care to parts where there are too many people and comes from the Central Valley—oranges
think about. In theory, there’s enough fresh- no water-delivery system, the search for that and grapes are raised in Tulare, along with
water in the world for everyone, but like oil or daily half gallon can be dire, and sometimes dairy cows and cattle—so having it go even
diamonds or any other valuable resource, it past dire. A survey in 2015 of members of partially dry is not a small concern. “No one
is not dispersed democratically. Brazil, Can- the World Economic Forum in Davos listed really knows what happens, if this were to get
ada, Colombia, Peru, Indonesia, and Russia “water crises” for the irst time as the world’s worse,” Famiglietti says. “Our water security,
have an abundance—about 40 percent of leading threat, ahead of “spread of infectious and therefore our food security, is at far greater
all there is. America has a decent amount. diseases” and “weapons of mass destruction.” risk than people realize. Aside from the cri-
India and China, meanwhile, have a third of Each year Gleick’s organization, the Paciic sis of humans not having water, we’re also go-
the world’s people and less than a tenth of Institute, updates its Water Conlict Chronol- ing to be losing these major food-producing
its freshwater. It is predicted that in twelve ogy, a compilation of disturbances around the regions like the Central Valley. Agriculture
years the demand for water in India will be world involving water. In 2017, there were will migrate to where the water is, maybe the
twice the amount on hand. Beijing draws wa- more than seventy incidents, dozens of them southern parts of South Dakota and south-
ter from an aquifer beneath the city. From deadly, mainly in the Middle East and Africa. ern Idaho. There is already some agricultural
being used faster than rain can replenish it, In 1997, there were only three. migration to those regions.”

S eptember 2018_Esquire 1 35
That may sound simple, relatively, a cul- known aquifers in the world, it runs from South Toward the end of 2011, someone anony-
tural shift, like the past migration of workers Dakota to Texas, more or less in the shape of a mously mailed him a private document from
and jobs from the Rust Belt to the Sun Belt. monkey wrench. Near the top, in places, it is the Heartland Institute, a conservative think
However, climate change, with its disrup- a thousand feet deep, and at the lower end, in tank that denies climate change. The docu-
tion of the rain cycle, making severe storms places, there are areas where it is as shallow as ment described a plan to produce a curricu-
even more severe and diminishing the snow only a few feet. The Dust Bowl, which played lum for kindergarten through twelfth-grade
pack in seasons of drought, makes it impos- out above the Ogallala, was, in a way, a peri- students that disputed climate change. It
sible to know which areas will remain stably od phenomenon. All the water necessary to also described the institute’s contributions
wet. Cape Town is sufering now because “a sustain the crops that now cover the plains to climate scientists who cast doubt on cli-
once-in-a-millennium event,” as it has been was always there, but a few feet deeper than mate science.
described, has been occurring since 2015— Depression-era farmers could reach with “I could have thrown it out. I could have
scant rain in the region for three years. windmill pumps. Electric pumps, which only sent it to a journalist,” Gleick told me. “But
In California, rain became scarce in 2011 became widespread by the end of the thirties, I chose to try to verify it myself.” He set up
and stayed scarce for ive years. Suicient rain made it accessible. a Gmail account under the name of one of
fell during the winter of 2016 that the drought For decades farmers thought the Ogallala Heartland’s board members and asked Heart-
appeared to have ended, since people could see was inexhaustible. According to Scientific land to send him the institution’s most recent
rivers running and reservoirs illed that had American, drawing on government studies, documents. What he received he dispersed to
seemed nearly empty before. Water experts by 1975 the amount of water taken each year journalists, who published them. The Heart-
view the matter diferently. They make a dis- from the aquifer equaled the low of the Colo- land Institute said that one of the documents
tinction between surface drought and ground- rado River, and now the annual draw is about was forged. Gleick wrote a piece in the Huf-
water drought. Five years of overdrafting in eighteen times that amount. Farmers have ington Post acknowledging what he’d done
the Central Valley left a groundwater deicit been pumping out four to six feet a year in and apologizing for his deception.
that the rains didn’t replenish. places where half an inch is being added. As “My board was not happy,” he said. “I
Aquifers commonly contain water that went far as continuing to be useful, the Ogallala stepped down, they made an investigation
underground thousands or millions of years might be exhausted by 2070. A reasonable that eventually supported my version, and I
ago and hasn’t come out since—it’s called fos- estimate is that it would take six thousand was reinstated.” Meanwhile, the Heartland
sil water. Groundwater, however, is as vulnera- years for rain to replenish it. Institute bought petergleick.com, where you
ble to contamination as surface water. An over- can read “Why Isn’t Paciic Institute’s Peter
drafted aquifer near a coast can have seawater
seep into it and ruin it. Arsenic occurs naturally IV. A Water-Crisis Gleick in Jail?” Regardless, in 2016, Gleick
stepped down after nearly thirty years as the
in rocks and can ind its way into the water ta-
ble, also ruining it. An aquifer near an industrial
Tour Paciic Institute’s president and now spends
most of his time writing in an oice on the in-
dump might be polluted by man-made chemi- PETER GLEICK IS sixty-one, and he looks like stitute’s premises. He is considered to be an
cals. In the Central Valley, some wells are con- the scholar he is. He is tall and gangly, with a eminent authority on water issues around the
taminated by nitrates, which come from fertil- thin face and glasses, a gray beard, and wispy world and is regarded as especially knowl-
izer, leaky septic tanks, and big cattle-feeding gray hairs that rise from his crown like solar edgeable about California’s circumstances.
operations; drinking nitrate-polluted wa- lares. He grew up in New York City, where he The Paciic Institute occupies a Victorian
ter can bring about conditions such as blue- was a Cub Scout and learned from his father to house among an enclave of such houses in
baby syndrome, in which the ingertips of identify birds in Central Park. He went to Yale, Oakland. One morning I met Gleick there,
babies turn blue from insuicient oxygen. then he moved to California and got a doctorate and then we drove east to visit what he called
Finally, an overdrafted aquifer can be de- in energy studies from UC Berkeley. In 1987, some “peak water signifiers”—a sort of
pleted. Whether it returns is a matter of how he was one of four founders of the Paciic In- water-crisis tour.
it was illed in the irst place. Porous aquifers, stitute, which specializes in water policy, and We were going to a walnut farm irst. On the
ones beneath sand and gravel, as in the Central in 2003, he was named a MacArthur Fellow. way, as we passed rolling green hills, Gleick
Valley, can recover with rain. Aquifers that explained that there are three components
lie beneath rock deposits or in gaps between to peak water, the irst being peak renewable
them, and especially ones in places where water. “A renewable resource is low limited,”
ZERO DAY
rain is sparse, might not recover in a time A dam near Cape Town in March with he said. “You never run out of it, like sunlight.
frame that means anything against the mea- almost nothing to dam.
sure of a human life span. In India, so many
farmers have killed themselves from despair
over disappeared groundwater, and the pov-
erty it enforces, that there is a category called
suicide farmers. In 2016, more than 11,300
farmers took their own lives.

III. See You in


Six Thousand Years
BESIDES CALIFORNIA, the other American
place in water jeopardy is the High Plains,
which sits on top of an aquifer called the Ogal-
lala. The Ogallala is sometimes described as
an ocean of groundwater. One of the largest

13 6 S e pt e m b e r 2 0 1 8 _E sq u ire
Most water is renewable—rainfall, snowmelt,
rivers—but in more and more places around
the world, we’re running into limits brought
HaLF Creek, which he draws from. Since the creek
was running high, he was looding some of his
ields with creek water to restore the water ta-
on by peak use. The classic example is the
Colorado River, hardly a drop of which ever
EMPtY?A water-crisis primer
ble. Finally, McNamara showed us hedgerows
he’d planted to attract insects and birds and
reaches its delta, in Mexico, anymore. It gets a huge machine by a barn that was convert-
used up entirely along the way.” ing walnut shells into organic matter he could
Even an overtaxed river like the Colorado
is partly renewable. “You get more the next
year when it rains and snows,” Gleick con-
40
PERCENT
use for fertilizer. Bookkeeping is what goes
on in most farm oices I’ve ever visited, but
McNamara’s was like a command center
tinued. “It’s not that there’s never water, but Projected share of the world’s where he could ind on a computer screen
there’s a limit to how much you can take, and population—more than three what he needed to know about which square
that limit, its peak, is the renewable low of billion people—living in areas of yard of his orchard needed water and which
severe water stress by 2050.
the resource.” square yard had enough.
Gleick calls the second component of peak As Gleick and I drove away, he said that
water peak nonrenewable water. “Just like
peak oil,” he said. “An aquifer is not sustain-
able if humans pump it faster than nature
450
PERCENT
McNamara was noteworthy in trying to do
more with less water. “The hedgerows and
recycling shells, those are things that most
charges it. The people in the Central Valley Increase in number of violent farmers think cost money and don’t provide
who have seen their wells go dry are experi- incidents spurred by conflicts over an immediate or obvious return. They’re
encing peak nonrenewable water. There is water between 1997 and 2017. smart from a sustainability point of view, but
(In 2018, water violence has occurred
still water there, but the groundwater level if you’re maximizing return, you don’t do
in Ukraine, Syria, Mali, and Iran.)
has dropped, and only the farms can aford them. That’s why his neighbor’s using pesti-
to dig the deeper well. You could ind other cides. It’s more expensive to put in smart ir-
water for these people—you could hook them
up to a municipal system that’s maybe hooked
up to a river. No one’s dying of thirst. But
700
MILLION
rigation systems and soil-moisture monitors,
but you make up the money by being organic.”

V. “Secret, Occult, and


we cobble together ixes when we run out. High-end estimate of number of
So you go back to this question: Are we run- people displaced due
ning out of water? Yes, sort of, with nonre-
newable resources, and yes, sort of, with
to water shortages by 2030.
Concealed”
renewable resources.”
The walnut farm was about ifty miles north
of Oakland, in Winters. “More and more
55
PERCENT
THE WAY WATER is used in the Midwest and
West, and elsewhere around the world, exem-
pliies a nineteenth-century principle called
orchards are going in, because they make Projected increase in global water the tragedy of the commons. The tragedy of
demand by 2050.
money,” Gleick said. “There’s a distinction the commons means that when there is a re-
between ield crops—cotton, rice, wheat, and source available to everyone, and the resource
corn—which you plant every year, and per-
manent crops, like fruits and nuts. Permanent
crops need permanent water. If you have a
11
Number of major cities most
is unregulated—in the nineteenth century
it was the common land for grazing cattle—
people will use it to their own advantage un-
drought and you’re growing wheat or alfalfa, likely to experience severe water til it is consumed rather than conserve it to
maybe you fallow your ield for a year. But shortages in coming decades: São everyone’s advantage. It is a principle that
Paulo, Bangalore, Beijing, Cairo,
if you’re growing almonds, you’ve got to still applies widely, to overishing, say, in the
Jakarta, Moscow, Istanbul, Mexico
water these trees or they die, and it’s a twenty- City, London, Tokyo, Miami. North Atlantic, and the disappearance of cod.
year investment sometimes before they Several colloquial rules, made at the start
produce a crop. That puts more pressure on of the twentieth century, govern water in the
groundwater. The advantage with trees is you
can use drip irrigation, meaning you can tar-
get the roots, and apply the right amount of
80
PERCENT
West, and sometimes they contradict one an-
other. Where water is shared, from a river,
say, the rule that usually prevails is “irst
Share of industrial and municipal
water at the right time, because there are pump, oldest pump” or “irst in time, irst in
wastewater released into
monitors in the soil. Drip irrigation is more global water systems untreated. right.” These older rights are also called “se-
eicient than lood irrigation, where you sim- nior rights” or “pre-1914 rights.” They mean
ply lood the ield and hope you’re watering at that even if you are upstream of another farm,
the moment the crop needs it most.”
The walnut farm, Sierra Orchards, was 842,000
Number of people—including
if the downstream farmer’s rights preceded
yours, you can’t have water until he has all
owned by a forward-thinking farmer named he wants. People without senior rights might
361,000 children under
Craig McNamara, who looks a lot like his fa- the age of five—who die each
get paper water.
ther, Robert McNamara, the secretary of year from diarrhea due to California farmers who draw from wells
defense under Kennedy and Johnson. We contaminated water, or lack of don’t deal in paper water, since so long as
bumped down mud roads in an electric cart, adequate sanitation the wells are on their property, the farm-
which McNamara drove, and we saw the or hand-washing facilities. ers are entitled to drill as deep as they
trees and his drip-irrigation system and how like. In India, in parts of China, and in the
it works with a computer program to let him U. S., with groundwater it’s the “law of the
SOURCES: THE UNITED NATIONS,
know when the soil is dry, and at the bottom THE WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION, THE PACIFIC
biggest pump,” which allows a farmer to
of a small declivity, we stood beside Putah INSTITUTE, THE BBC drain the water from (c ont i nu e d on p a ge 1 54)

S eptember 2018_Esquire 1 37
would be too embarrassed to ask for the
pill), business execs (who thought it would
make Pfizer a laughingstock), and legis-
lators (who lobbied against the pill for the
same reason as the church).
It was the job of two unlikely guys at
Pfizer to overcome them all: Rooney
Nelson, a young Jamaican marketing whiz,
and Sal “Dr. Sal” Giorgianni, a crusty Ital-
ian pharmacist from Queens who became
Viagra’s medical expert. Together, Nelson
and Dr. Sal became the dynamic duo of
erectile dysfunction, wooing angry reli-
gious leaders, skittish politicians, and
cynical pharma nerds from all over.
Against all odds, they succeeded, making
Viagra one of the most successful and emu-
lated launches of all time, and the basis
ccording to the Chi- for today’s $3 billion erectile-dysfunction
nese calendar, 2017 industry. Now, on the drug’s twentieth
was the Year of the birthday, they’re sharing their story for the
Cock. 2018 is the irst time.
Year of the Dog.
And, in Dog years, hen Rooney Nelson arrived for his
this is also the Year of the Cock Pill: Viagra. irst day of work at Pizer’s corpo- But Osterloh was among those who
The revolutionary erectile-dysfunction rate office in New York City after thought it merited more study. He can still
drug is celebrating the twentieth anniver- completing his MBA at Florida A&M, he remember his feeling of helplessness as a
sary of its Brobdingnagian launch in a most thought it was anything but cool. Com- junior doctor at the UK National Health
auspicious way: by inally going generic. pared with Jamaica, where he was born and Service when a forty-year-old man asked if
The ramifications for generic sildena- raised, it seemed like an “exceedingly con- he could be treated for impotence. Osterloh
fil (the scientific name) are huge for your servative” company, illed with thousands had gone to his boss to inquire, only to be
pocketbook and your health. Viagra’s high of somber employees, many of whom told there was nothing they could do.
demand and cost (about seventy dollars wouldn’t leave their desks without irst put- Pizer agreed to what he calls a “low pri-
a pill) have made it among the most boot- ting on a suit coat. “It was not a hip kind of ority” pilot study for twelve men to see if
legged meds in the world, and one of the place,” he says with a laugh. these uprisings were just an anomaly. But
top sellers for Internet pharmacies. A study Pizer had been around since 1849 and when the subjects also experienced erec-
presented at the World Meeting on Sexual had made its name as the chief producer of tions, Osterloh and the others realized that
Medicine found that 77 percent of Viagra penicillin during World War II. In recent they had more than a cure for chest pains on
sold online was fake. Counterfeit Viagra years, however, it had fallen behind larger their hands. They seemed to have stumbled
and similar impostors have been linked to pharmas such as Merck and Johnson & on a pill that could give guys erections.
liver damage, strokes, and death. Just a few Johnson. It was looking for a break. It came, David Brinkley, the head of Pfizer’s
years back, former Los Angeles Lakers star as breaks often do, when least expected. new product-planning group, was enticed
Lamar Odom ended up face-planted in a Scientists at Pizer’s lab in the small coastal enough by the discovery to see if it had the
Nevada brothel from coke and phony herbal town of Sandwich, England, had made a potential to go to market. Gay and progres-
fucklements. “He was taking herbal Viagra,” strange discovery while testing a drug that sive with a flair for marketing, Brinkley,
brothel owner Dennis Hof said at the time, treated chest pain by expanding blood ves- like Nelson, felt he was an outlier within
“and a lot of it.” The availability of generic sels. When given the drug three times a the staid company. And it didn’t take long
sildenail cuts the price of the pills in half day, volunteers were reporting muscle after he began discussing the drug in-house
and promises greater assurance that the pill aches, headaches, and some discomfort to ind that many didn’t share his opinion.
you pop won’t be your last. while swallowing. Oh, and, as one investi- “To have conversations about sexual-func-
But while Viagra is poised to go wider gator relayed to Ian Osterloh, the clinical tion drugs was diicult for a lot of people,”
than ever before, the inside story of its researcher heading the study for Pizer in Brinkley says. “It was not considered digni-
launch is not widely known. How did a 1991, some were getting hard-ons, too. ied medicine.” The management told him
group of oddball underdogs in America’s Treating erectile dysfunction had long that it was not in the business of marketing
most conservative pharmaceutical conglom- been considered an exotic hack involving side efects—erections or otherwise.
erate, Pizer, bring it into existence? At the penile injections and pumps. While Oster- But after enough volunteers reported
time, the idea of selling Viagra was consid- loh was intrigued by the report of increased getting erections from the drug, there was
ered crazy at best and immoral at worst. erections among the chest-pain-medication no doubt about it anymore: This was no
In fact, it’s a miracle that it ever came to volunteers, it didn’t muster much of a reac- side efect; this was a direct result. In 1996,
be at all. In addition to the people within tion. Impotence wasn’t acknowledged as a Pizer gave Brinkley the green light to bring
Pfizer who were in an uproar over the clinical problem, he says, and if so, it was this pill to the public. It was named Viagra,
“dick pill,” four major groups began rally- thought to be psychological, not something a meaningless word chosen, if anything,
ing against it before its launch: the Catholic that could be ixed with a pill. “Nobody at because drugs that started with the letter V
church (which thought it was immoral), that time really thought, Gosh, this is fan- were considered powerful-sounding.
medical experts (who insisted patients tastic,” he recalls. Viagra would only work, Brinkley knew,

140 S e pt e m b e r 2 0 1 8 _ E sq u ire
The men had volunteered to be part of
one of Viagra’s early clinical trials, a first
step toward bringing it to market. It was
a double-blind, placebo-controlled, ran-
domized trial, which meant neither the
physician nor the patient knew who’d be
getting a placebo. After taking the drug,
the patient received what was called “visual
sexual stimulation.” The VSS of choice:
Debbie Does Dallas. “I’d like you to watch
it,” Nelson would tell the patient, “and I
want to see if you get an erection or not. If
you get an erection, there’s no cameras or
anything, just so you know. If you have an
Left: The very first Viagra print ad. It appeared erection, you know, feel free to masturbate.
in Esquire in August 1998. Above: Bob Dole’s
erectile-dysfunction-awareness campaign.
Here’s a vial. When you’re done, could you
put the ejaculate, the semen, in that vial,
close it up, and come back out?”
endorse and, ultimately, prescribe Viagra. To determine what, if any, impact Viagra
It would be his job to convince them. had on ejaculation, the team had to mea-
Dr. Sal was the ideal complement to sure the amount and consistency of the
Nelson. A wry middle-aged clinical phar- semen. It was still so new that they had
macist with five kids and two degrees no idea what might happen. “You don’t
from Columbia, he was Pfizer’s director know what this drug is doing,” Nelson says.
if he could overcome the biggest—and for of external relations, the medical expert What it was doing was something they’d
Pizer, the riskiest—challenge of all: being responsible for managing the company’s never anticipated. Some patients reported
taken seriously. It wasn’t just the outside image and reputation—two things that that they were having blue-tinted vision,
world that presented a problem; it was the Viagra, more than any other drug he’d a condition known as cyanopsia. It turned
viability within the company itself. When encountered in his eighteen years there, out that one of the enzymes restricted by
Nelson irst heard from Brinkley about the put at risk. “Pizer then was still a very, very Viagra in order to create an erection caused
“dick pill,” as they called it, he had the same conservative company with very conserva- sensitivity in some rod cells in the eye,
reaction as just about everyone else there: tive roots,” he says, “and we were about to causing some subjects to temporarily pick
He cracked up. “The early conversation,” go of and sell a drug that was for sex.” With up more strands of blue light. A more last-
he recalls, “was laughter.” Dr. Sal’s medical expertise and Nelson’s ing symptom presented in the volunteers
If Viagra was going to become anything marketing lair, it would be up to the two of who reported not just erections but four-
but a punch line, Brinkley needed a launch them to sell the sex drug to the world. hour ones—a temporary side effect that
team with the right mix of brash and many patients didn’t mind. “Most people
style to handle it. And Pizer had just the hat the hell is this? I don’t know thought it was kind of cool,” Nelson says.
odd couple for the job: Rooney Nelson what it’s doing to my brain.” The With the trials showing positive results,
and Dr. Sal. “Have you ever seen that feedback from the men in the early they had to ind the right allies to get behind
Arnold Schwarzenegger movie Twins?” Viagra focus groups went along these lines. Viagra. In pharmaceutical marketing, just
Nelson says with a laugh. “We were “They were horrified,” as Nelson puts it. like in any other culture or industry, there
Twins. He’s sort of a short, chubby, Ital- “The irst reactions were ‘You’re kidding, are the whales, the big shots whose vote
ian, gregarious guy, and I’m this kind of right?’ You know: ‘Where’s the camera? of confidence is essential to a new prod-
tall, black, not-that-friendly guy that’s all I’m on Candid Camera.’ ” uct’s success. The group consisted of the
about business.” The volunteers in the clinical trials were high-powered, high-priced medical practi-
Nelson, an up-and-coming marketer at also skeptical. Nelson and Dr. Sal sat eagerly tioners: the heart surgeons, neurosurgeons,
Pizer, not only had the right edge to launch in a urologist’s oice one day as ten patients and the like. At this time, the 1990s, pharma
Viagra; he also had the perfect connections. anxiously iled in. But the goal wasn’t just to companies had their own kind of legiti-
He’d spent the past couple years working make money. There was something deeper mized payola—spending millions to wine
on Cardura, a treatment for the symptoms that both of them recognized. Impotence was and dine doctors into endorsing their meds.
of enlarged prostates, and had cultivated a real problem, one that, by being overlooked, To sell an erection drug, however, meant
relationships with urologists around the was condemning generations, including the swaying the doctors who were way lower
country, the exact group they needed to legions of baby boomers, to lives of frustration. down the pecking order: the urologists.
Compared with brain surgeons and cardiol-
ogists, urologists were the Dunder Mifflin of
the pharma world: nerdy, unsexy, and unac-
customed to the warm fuzz of marketing
crews. But that was about to change.
The mid-nineties were the heyday for
pharmaceutical junkets, but Viagra marked
the irst time that unglamorous urologists
were the ones being seduced. Pizer would
fly a dozen of them to an all-expenses-
paid weekend at the (c ont i nu e d on p a ge 1 50)

S eptember 2018_Esquire 1 41
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Oxford-educated heir of one of Singa- actor in this year’s biggest rom-com.

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pore’s wealthiest families. Pure luck? Maybe. But then you learn

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Enter Lisa from accounting. She had about his Jedi-mind-trick-like optimism.
met this guy Henry Golding five years “Hi, I’m Henry. I’m a television host” is
ago when he hosted travel shows for how he would introduce himself when
the BBC and the Discovery channel, he was twenty-one, having left behind
and she was struck by his charisma, his job as a hairdresser in London to
his British accent, and . . . well, look at make it in Kuala Lumpur. The catch?
him. Chu follows him on Instagram. He wasn’t a TV host. But the fake-
are stars made in Hollywood? Some- Golding screen-grabs the notification. it-till-you-make-it attitude worked.
times it starts with Lisa in accounting. Asks his manager what it means when “Sometimes it’s just that mental switch
Director Jon Chu was on deadline to a Hollywood director randomly follows in yourself that changes and opens
cast the part of Nick Young, the male you. “They’re casting for Crazy Rich doors that you would never imagine,”
lead of his film Crazy Rich Asians (out Asians!” he’s told. He starts read- says Golding, now thirty-one.
now), based on the best-selling novel ing the book. But before he’s able to Although it’s unusual for a first-
by Kevin Kwan. But despite going so far finish, Chu gets in touch. “I’ve got two time actor to nab such a huge role,
as to invite anyone to submit a video questions for you: Can you act, and it’s rarer still for the part to have such
audition on social media, Chu hadn’t will you read for me?” One audition social significance: Crazy Rich Asians
found the perfect Nick—the magnetic, later and Golding is a newly minted is the first American film with an all-
Asian cast since The Joy Luck Club,
based on another novel about the Asian
diaspora, was in theaters more than
twenty-five years ago. The potential
for this movie to bring Asians to the
forefront in Hollywood in the wake of
recent whitewashing scandals like
Tilda Swinton’s casting as a Tibetan
monk in Doctor Strange is not lost on
Golding, or the rest of the close-knit
cast. “Everybody was from a differ-
ent part of the world: the UK, Australia,
America, we had Singaporeans, Malay-
sians, and they’d all been through trials
and tribulations of being Asians in non-
Asian countries, of always having this
turmoil of ‘Do I belong here?’ We knew
that this film would be putting every-
body on the path of normalizing leading
roles with Asian faces attached to
them,” he says.
“Jimmy O. Yang [Bernard Tai in
Crazy Rich Asians and Jian Yang on
Silicon Valley] really highlighted
the fact that he never spent time—real
time—with other Asians in entertain-
ment. He was just like, ‘This is why
we’re not united enough. This is some-
thing we should be striving for—just
supporting each other.’ We haven’t
gotten to a stage where we can help
push each other onto the platforms
that we need to be pushed onto to get
the word out to the rest of the world.”
While he wants to continue telling
Asian narratives—he recently wrapped
the film Monsoon, about a man who
returns to Vietnam to spread his par-
ents’ ashes—he and his team are
focused on leading Hollywood roles.
He’ll costar alongside Blake Lively and
Anna Kendrick in Paul Feig’s A Simple
Favor (out September 15), a fun, twist-
filled suburban whodunit. “I’ve become
like Paul’s nephew,” he jokes. But
Golding’s dream job? “Anything that
Denis Villeneuve is attached to, like
Dune. I would love to be in a Bond
movie. I would love to be in Star Wars.
I’m ready to work hard.” Plus, he’ll
have no trouble introducing himself.
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ALL RISE couldn’t even say the word penis.” They moment,” Nelson says. “The less we talk
(c on ti nu ed from page 141) needed to come up with something better about this, even internally, the better we are.”
than impotence. Viagra’s medical team came Discreetly, the team reined this strategy
in thousands of focus groups. They narrowed
it down to three possible ways—or “product
profiles”—to present Viagra to the world.
The first option was the most direct: It’s a
drug that can cause erections and enable
men who have lost their ability to have sex.
his is blasphemy! This is immoral!” The second was more scientiic: Viagra can
Nelson and Dr. Sal listened treat a disease called erectile dysfunction and
patiently inside a conference room allow men to return to normal physiological
capacity. The third took a diferent approach
completely, skirting the details of the drug
and focusing instead on its delivery system:
Breakers in Palm Beach, Florida, and give released. They’d assembled a roundtable of For the first time, there’s a pill that can be
them $2,500 each for their time. Pizer could deacons, pastors, rabbis, and others to gauge used to treat a condition that has always been
easily spend $200,000 per trip to entice their reactions to the boner pill. It was part of treated by invasive surgeries.
them. “Urologists, they had never really been their due diligence for this uncharted terri- After thousands of focus groups, they
to places like that; they had never eaten like tory, an important litmus test for what kind of arrived at the answer: option number three.
that; they had never drank like that,” Nelson resistance they’d meet by releasing the drug. Viagra is a pill—safe, cheap, and easy. A guy
says. “So you had a really primed group that “There was concern that there might be would merely get a sample, pop it into his
was receptive to hearing your message.” religious objection,” says Brinkley, who’d mouth, and see how it worked. This was the
Over dirty martinis and lollipop lamb had feelers out all the way up to the Vati- perfect way to get men to look at the drug.
chops, Nelson would look out into the room can for a response. At this roundtable, it was As Nelson puts it, “I’ll try it! And if it doesn’t
and wonder how he was going to energize already going south. “Why would you even work, who gives a fuck?”
them. He pitched them on how he was going do this?” one clergyman asked in dismay. The strategy succeeded. In the later focus
to make them as cool and desirable as open- “If that type of product ever comes on the groups, the pill hit big. By February 1998,
heart surgeons. “This is an opportunity for market, I will organize protests against it.” Pfizer was ready to launch the drug. But
you to be at the cutting edge of what could It seemed like a very real possibility that there was one important hurdle remaining:
be the most revolutionary product in a long the launch could trigger a kind of “sex approval by the Food and Drug Administra-
time in medicine,” he said. But there was one panic,” Brinkley says, from the moral major- tion. Pfizer had spent nearly $100 million
problem, they quickly told him: They never ity. “They don’t want insurance or tax dollars on Viagra up to that point, and there was no
talked about sex with their patients. There paying for people’s boners.” It seemed they guarantee that the world’s irst erection pill
was no reason to discuss impotence, because were also prepared to sensationalize Viagra, wouldn’t go limp.
they had no remedy. “No physician asks alleging that it would give men erections and
about things that they can’t treat,” as Nelson also drive them to sex-crazed sprees that n March 27, 1998, Nelson, Dr. Sal,
puts it. “It was a wall of silence.” would spread AIDS. “As a gay man,” Brin- Brinkley, and the dozen others on
The only way to succeed was to break the kley says, “there was a fair amount of eye Viagra’s core team gathered around
wall. He and the team developed what Dr. Sal rolling that went on behind closed doors.” a fax machine in a conference room in Piz-
called a series of “doorknob conversations,” They were also getting flak from inside. er’s New York headquarters. They were
named after that moment when men, often As word spread throughout Pizer, Nelson awaiting a message from the FDA regarding
on the way out of the doctor’s oice, would and Dr. Sal began hearing more and more whether their eighteen months of eforts had
inally ind the courage to ask about a cure jokes and derisive comments from cowork- finally paid off. Shortly before noon, the
for impotence. Their solution: Be straight ers they passed in the halls. “We’re going answer spooled out. A lawyer ran her eyes
with them. “Why don’t we just make this to be a laughingstock,” one person would over the page and read it aloud: “The FDA
real simple and say, ‘If they think they have say. “Are we going to have Playboy Bunnies has approved sildenail citrate for the use of
it, give them the medicine, tell them how in the lobby?” joked another. Others were erectile dysfunction in men.”
to take it, set realistic expectations, and let more pointed. “Are you guys crazy?” they’d Nelson shouted, “Oh my God! Fuck me!
them go for it,’ ” Dr. Sal says the conversa- ask. In Nelson’s estimation, the cards were Yeah!” He fell on the loor in relief, joined
tion went. “And it’s either going to work or stacking against them. “Fifty percent of the by the others. But they couldn’t celebrate
it’s not going to work.” people within the company that knew what for long. The FDA approval meant it was
But while Dr. Sal and Nelson were making was going on thought it would never launch time to launch a drug that still had yet to be
headway with urologists, they were encoun- and never should launch,” he says. announced to the world.
tering mounting skepticism within Pfizer. Normally, when launching a new drug, a Right on the heels of the approval,
“Some medical groups felt that maybe we company would take pains to methodically there was a more pressing matter: the side
shouldn’t be marketing such trivial medicine,” introduce it to the world in advance, prep- effects required to be listed on the label.
Dr. Sal says. “But as the old joke goes, it’s only ping the market, doing press, and so on. The regulatory board had hit them with a
trivial if you don’t have the problem.” But Viagra was too volatile to leave vulner- black-box warning about taking Viagra with
Part of the issue, they realized, was seman- able to these elements. So the team made a nitrates—a combination that could result
tics. No guy wanted to tell his doctor he was counterintuitive—if not seemingly hare- in a heart attack. Most companies would
impotent. The word had too many negative brained—decision: They would launch try to bury the black box as much as possi-
overtones: weakness, helplessness, steril- completely in stealth, going public with it ble. But Brinkley surprised his team. He told
ity. “In the early days,” says Brinkley, “just only twenty-four hours later if and when it the group to lead with it. “We’re going to
talking about impotence was taboo. You was approved. “I had an epiphany, a eureka encourage people that if you’re on a nitrate,

150 S e pt e m b e r 2 0 1 8 _E sq u ire
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do not take Viagra,” he said. “That’s going to problem, not as a sexually dirty kind of thing, THE WILD ONE
be the irst thing we’re going to say.” and take away some of the stigma associated
Nelson thought Brinkley was “batshit with older persons having intimacy.”
crazy.” There was no precedent for such a Nelson learned four rules for launching
maneuver. But Brinkley, Nelson recalls, held something that’s never been done before.
irm. “Rooney,” he said, “you have to trust “Number one, expect to be laughed at if
me on this.” His reasoning was that Viagra you’re doing something that’s going to be
was going to be such a hit that they didn’t a breakthrough,” he says. “Number two, be
need to risk hiding anything about it, even if real wary of experts; they’re going to tell you
it meant equating sex with death. all the reasons why that thing’s not going to
With everything ready to go, the team work. The third thing: Have people on the
booked a massive launch meeting at the team who really understand the business
World Center Marriott in Orlando, Florida, you’re in.” And, inally, he says, be prepared
to introduce Viagra to Pizer’s three thou- to be hated. “If you expect to change the
sand sales representatives. The average sales world, you’re going to get a lot of love, but
rep was a good-looking twenty-five-year- you’re going to get a lot of hate. You got to Hardy’s place. The wall between us that
old—“The guy looked like a quarterback, run the math. The hate’s probably going to crumbled upon seeing Mae—or seemed
and the girl looked like freaking Candy the be a fraction of the love.” to, anyway—is fortified just as quickly.
cheerleader,” Nelson says—but that didn’t And as Dr. Sal learned, there was plenty When Private Tom reaches playfully for
make the challenge any easier. “We needed of love to go around. Not long after Viagra my stack of questions and I instinctively
to make them comfortable with talking came out, his father asked him if he could pull them back, he casts a leery eye. “I
about sex,” he says. They did this by get- hook him up. “Hey, can you get me some see I’m not in the circle of trust,” Public
ting everyone used to saying all the right samples?” his dad asked. Hardy says, when in fact I just got booted
words. They went around the room and had “Absolutely not!” his mother replied sar- from his.
everybody say erection ive times. “Erection! donically. “Don’t even think about it, Sal.” “Can I get a double espresso?” he asks our
Erection! Erection! Erection! Erection!” waiter.
They had to get the general public talking, oday, twenty years after Viagra’s “For sure,” the waiter says. “By the way, big
too. They needed someone who could launch, it’s never been easier to get fan. I always know if you’re in a movie, it’s go-
deliver the message soberly and credibly. the little blue pill. Pizer just released ing to be a good one.”
During the clinical trials, they learned from its nonprescription version, dubbed Viagra “Thanks. But don’t put your money on that,”
a urologist at Walter Reed that former sena- Connect, in Britain, the first country to Hardy says. “I’ve got to be crap at some point.”
tor and presidential candidate Bob Dole was approve over-the-counter sales of Viagra. “I would say you’re one of my top three best,”
interested in participating. Dole had been Though the patent on Viagra doesn’t the waiter says. “Action actors,” he clariies.
partially paralyzed during World War II and expire until 2020, Pfizer negotiated a deal “I think I’m a bit too old now for action.”
was himself sufering from erectile dysfunc- that allowed Teva Pharmaceuticals to begin “Except for the next Expendables,” the
tion. After trying Viagra successfully, he was selling a generic version last December. Not waiter jokes.
more than ready to speak out on behalf of the only is the pill considerably less expensive; “I’m tempted to ask who the other two
drug to help others. It was just what the team it’s now all the more accessible. Roman, a are,” Hardy says after the waiter walks of. “I
needed. “The important thing was to nor- new start-up, is an app that screens men for showed great restraint. Great restraint.” He
malize the medical condition,” Brinkley says, erectile dysfunction and gets a prescription might claim that the opinions of others don’t
and Dole proved to be the ideal messenger. delivered right to their door. matter, but this is driving him crazy. “Who
When Viagra finally hit the market, for While Viagra is going mainstream like are the fuckers?”
eight to twelve dollars a pill, it was an instant never before, there’s more opportunity on When the waiter returns, I ask. “Mark Wahl-
phenomenon. As expected, it also became the horizon for treating other such maladies. berg,” he says without delay, as if he were wait-
the butt of late-night-talk-show jokes and “There are still a lot of sexual dysfunctions ing for the question. Hardy, stone-faced, says
provoked the ire of the moral majority. But it where we don’t have treatment,” Oster- nothing. “And Matt Damon.”
sold wildly. Pharmacists reported illing ten loh says, “such as lack of sexual desire in Finally, Hardy speaks. “Can I give you
thousand prescriptions a day, which easily men and women.” An estimated twelve this?” he says, handing over a plate, any plate,
outpaced scripts for the launches of top million women sufer from sexual desire dis- just to send the waiter on his way. Almost as an
drugs such as Prozac and Rogaine. Viagra order. The leading contender for treatment is afterthought, he adds, “Thanks, man. Good
sales would reach $1 billion in its irst year. bremelanotide, which is being developed by company.”
“It’s the fastest takeoff of a new drug that AMAG Pharmaceuticals and Palatin Tech- He deals with this sort of thing all the time.
I’ve ever seen,” Michael Podgurski, then the nologies. They have completed successful “I’ve crossed the line of being a public igure.
director of pharmacy for Rite-Aid, gushed to trials and hope to have it available by 2019. And I accept that means to a certain degree I’m
Time. Newsweek called it “the hottest new When asked what’s coming next for men, public property,” he says, “even though I proj-
drug in history.” Nelson, who has since left Pizer to run his ect an image of myself to them,” acknowledg-
For the team behind the scenes who own marketing irm, cracks a devilish grin. ing Public Hardy in all but name. Most peo-
launched Viagra, the success gave them a “You really want the dark-web version of ple he meets are lovely. But “the downside of
deeper satisfaction, too. Dr. Sal was eating this?” he asks. The future, he goes on, will being overt is you invite darkness,” he says.
at a steakhouse in Monroe, Louisiana, with feature artificially intelligent sexbots and “It only takes one person to cause real harm.”
his wife when he overheard some men at a drugs that will enhance the experience fur- He defends himself as if someone has called
nearby table talking about erectile dysfunc- ther. “There’s going to be a pill that increases him out. “That’s not being paranoid. That’s
tion. It illed him with pride. “My God,” he not only erections but pleasure,” Nelson just facts.”
said. “We’ve accomplished one of our goals, says. “That’s going to be the cocaine of sex. By iltering which parts of himself become
which is to talk about this as a real medical It’s the ultimate pill.” public, he’s mostly okay with the balance of

152 S e pt e m b e r 2 0 1 8 _E sq u ire
Private Tom and Public Hardy. Except, that is, has smoothed but not erased the boys’ mis- celebrity powers?” Albert asks me. “Not the
when it comes to his children. “I will pose for chief and the mom’s sass. Hardy jokes to Mae, irst time I’ve witnessed that.” He laughs, then
you, and photos of me and my wife are ine,” he “All right, lovely, want salt-and-vinegar chips quiets. “But it’s a nice tool to have.”
says. “But if someone takes a photo of my kids, with a side of infectious disease? Pick up a lit- Hardy returns without explanation. A few
all bets are of. I will take the camera of you and tle souvenir?” She smirks. minutes later, the nurse comes in. “She’s go-
beat the fucking shit out of you.” His voice con- Hardy squeezes some sanitizer onto his ing to be seen next.”
tains no hint of exaggeration. “That’s the one hands and rubs it, then reaches for a chip. Like that, Mae is at the top of the list.
that hurts. My kids didn’t ask for what my job “Don’t do that,” Mae says. “Wipe of your Though Hardy is coy about how much
is.” He pauses. “There’s something that really hands irst. It’s not for eating.” he played the fame card, it’s clear his job
upsets me about the imposition of a grown-up “It’s better than eating disease,” Albert here is done. As we say goodbye, Mae pulls
world on a child.” weighs in. “I’d rather be sanitized to death.” him in close. “I want you to know that I
When we spoke earlier about his relationship “I’m gonna take my chances,” Hardy says. have plans to see Venom,” she says. “You’ve
with Chips, he said he was working to become “How’s your mum and dad?” she asks. done something that’s close to my heart. You
a better father by learning from the mistakes “Very good, actually,” he says. “It was my know I’m a sci-i freak.”
of his own. “In trying to protect my children, mum’s birthday last week.” “You’re gonna enjoy this one,” Hardy says.
I’ll probably give them their own dose of prob- “Twenty-one again?” “This one’s just for you. And for my boy.”
lems,” he told me. “But I don’t want them to “I’m glad to see you’re cracking jokes,” Hardy wants to exert control over his world.
go through what I went through.” Albert says. The brutal irony is that the more successful
“Me too,” Mae says. he becomes, the more the world controls him.
AT Kingston Hospital, we make our way When she leaves the room with the help of But as we walk out of the hospital, I suggest
to Mae’s room. She’s feeling better, but a nurse, Hardy turns to Albert and delivers a that while his celebrity might feel like a bur-
dried blood still cakes her face. She and dose of optimism: “She’s walking, mate. That’s den, in the instance of Mae and Albert it was...
Albert don’t know who or what to expect next, a good sign. The next thing we’re going to get He inishes my sentence: “Perfect.”
or how long it will be. Hardy asks what she re- is an X-ray, or maybe a CT scan if they’re con- At the exit, an orderly chases us down. “Tom!
members—“Hit the pavement,” she says. cerned about bleeding or swelling in the brain. Tom Hardy!” We stop. “I just love your mov-
“Made a nice sound”—and what still hurts. We They’ve got to check all the boxes.” ies. Can I take a picture?” Two more fans fol-
unload snacks we brought, and then we wait. Once Mae is back, Hardy steps out to talk to low. He smiles as they gather around in the hos-
The three relax into a familiar rhythm. Age the nurse without saying why. “Is he using his pital parking lot and start snapping selies.

LIGHTING THE BONFIRE THE PEACOCK PATRIARCHY ulation of a Lauer comeback, if not at NBC,
(co ntinued from page 121) (co n t in u ed f r o m p age 10 9) then somewhere else, possibly a cable-news
channel. But that is unlikely, at least for
now. “Could he come back in three years?”
Auletta asks. “Maybe. America’s a surpris-
ingly forgiving country and loves comeback
stories.”
Lauer remains secluded at the beach. He
has been negotiating with his soon-to-be ex-
wife’s divorce lawyers and attempting to of-
load properties—his Sag Harbor home has
been listed for $12.75 million, and his Upper
East Side pad sold for a reported $7 million
in April. (He was also spotted driving a Land
Rover with a “For Sale” sign in the window.)
in Arthur C. Clarke’s Childhood’s End. dramatic—we are home to the number-one Lauer has broken his silence on only three
Homo novus? As Noyce saw it, these so-called drama on television. A show that each week occasions, each time conceding that he’d
radical youth movements were shot through gives us twists and turns, heartbreaking re- erred but simultaneously downplaying his
with a yearning for a preindustrial Arcadia. veals, and this season the departure of a misdeeds. “I fully acknowledge that I act-
They wanted, or thought they wanted, to return once-beloved character. I’m talking, of ed inappropriately as a husband, father,
to the earth and live on organic vegetables and course, of ‘This is the Today show.’ ” and principal at NBC,” he said in a state-
play folk songs from the sixteenth and seven- After being rehired by NBC News to re- ment in April, before adding that “any alle-
teenth centuries. They were antitechnology.... claim some of its luster, Lack has achieved gations or reports of coercive, aggressive, or
They were the reactionaries of the new age. something close to the opposite. He has abusive actions on my part, at any time, are
They were an avant-garde to the rear. They presided over one public-relations disaster absolutely false.” After NBC released the results
wanted to call of the future. They were still- after another while ABC News has continued of its review in May, he put out another state-
born, ossiied, prematurely senile. to nip at the heels of both Today and Nightly ment, saying, “There are aspects of the NBC
If you wanted to talk about the creators of News, frequently overtaking them in the rat- report with which I clearly disagree.”
the future—well, here they were! Here in the ings. Whether Lack and his team, including Every now and again, he gets snapped by the
Silicon Valley! Just before Apollo 8 circled the Oppenheim, can persuade Comcast CEO paparazzi, carrying pizza to his car or sitting
moon, Bob Noyce turned forty-one. . . . And he Brian Roberts to give them more time to set astride a brand-new Harley-Davidson. In those
was one of the oldest CEOs in the semiconduc- things right remains one of the most closely pictures, he looks much like the old Matt Lauer
tor business! He was the Edison of the bunch! watched decisions in the industry. we all used to know so well. Or rather the Matt
He was the father of the Silicon Valley! The tabloids periodically fizz with spec- Lauer we didn’t.

S eptember 2018_Esquire 1 53
DRIP...DRIP...DRIP as well as migratory stopovers for birds. “Taking Soft path involves conservation and tactics
(c on ti nu ed from page 13 7) water from the San Joaquin Delta,” Gleick said, such as storm-water capture or wastewater
“there’s longstanding, serious, peak-ecological- treatment and reuse—twenty-irst-century
water concerns about salmon extinctions in the thinking, Gleick calls it. “We are already treat-
delta, other ish extinctions, and also how it acts ing wastewater, stuf you lush down your
on the Paciic lyway,” a major migratory route toilet,” Gleick said. “We are not yet drink-
for birds that goes over the region. ing that water, because we don’t need to.
From a slight movement of color in the ield, They drink it in parts of Africa and in Singa-
he identiied a meadowlark landing on a fence pore, where they call it ‘new water,’ a means
post, like one of those people who need only of branding it. We use it for nonpotable pur-
a few notes to name a song. “There is a ield poses: irrigation, cooling power plants, and
of study in ecology called ecological valua- restoring groundwater.”
tion,” he continued. “What’s the value of an Gleick turned into the parking lot of the
endangered ish species, or worse, extinction? pumping station, where there were only a cou-
The fact that we’re bad at valuing those things ple of cars. “I’m a big fan of California agricul-
doesn’t mean that there’s no value to them. ture,” he said, “but I’m also a big fan of ecosys-
underneath his neighbor by drilling a deeper Peak water should never mean that people are tems and reliable urban water supply. I think
well, since groundwater doesn’t observe dying of thirst. If we get to that point, that’s a we can have a healthy agricultural economy
boundaries. So many treaties and arrange- failure of governments. Instead, peak water’s and meet basic human needs for water and
ments and agreements govern water use in going to be felt irst by ecosystems and agri- still save the ish, but not the way we’re do-
the West and have for so long that a court culture and economies. We’re already seeing ing things today.”
in 1861 wrote that the “secret, occult, and peak-water constraints hurt our economies, “What if things don’t work?” I asked.
concealed” nature of the resource made it especially with the drought, in farmers having “The dystopian vision, which I don’t think
impossible to control. Impossible then, ap- to fallow land, which leads to unemployment. will happen, because I hope and think we’ll
parently impossible now, with voracious use “I think people in California have under- be smarter than that,” Gleick said, “but the
in between. stood for a long time that our water system dystopian future is one in which we lose more
is not in balance,” Gleick went on, “but they and more isheries, the winter-run Chinook
VI. The Upside see the problem through their own lenses. If
you’re a farmer and you see salmon or the delta
salmon go extinct, the delta smelt disappear,
bird migrations plummet, the Salton Sea”—a
BY A SIGN AT the entrance to the Harvey O. smelt as responsible for water being used in a saline lake fed by Colorado irrigation run-
Banks Delta Pumping Plant, outside Tracy, way that doesn’t beneit you, you think you can off—“disappears, and toxic dust spreads
Gleick pulled over and opened a map. Out the do without the ish. If you care about the ish, over southern California, the way it did when
window was a broad expanse of brown cattails you may think the farmer could grow some- the city of Los Angeles drained Owens Lake.
and a long reach of deep blue water with the thing diferent, or the same thing diferently, Plus a number of farms go out of production,
sun shining on it and gleaming like a strip of and use less water. Neither group talks to the and considering how reliant the country and
chrome. “We’re here,” Gleick said, pointing other, but it’s a false dichotomy to think that the world are on California farms, the efect
on the map to an extensive line of blue run- the only way to solve the human water prob- is widespread. Also, urban water gets more
ning mostly east to west. “The mouth of the lem is to give up water for ish.” and more expensive, because we have to turn
San Joaquin River, where the Sacramento and Gleick believes there are two solutions— to desalinization, consequently more popula-
San Joaquin join. It’s the largest delta on the the hard path and the soft path, notions tions lack access to safe and afordable water,
West Coast.” also derived from energy policy. The hard path and we see more and more East Portervilles.
Above the marsh, a red-tailed hawk slid wrings water from the environment mainly by “What makes me optimistic,” he went on, “is
across the sky like a skateboarder. “The third means of dams and tunnels for transferring that it’s obvious we can do things diferently.
concept of peak water is peak ecological wa- water and by desalinization plants. It’s what I would be doing something else if I didn’t have
ter,” Gleick went on. “Peak renewable and peak World Bank guys and engineers are trained that optimism, although it’s tempered in two
nonrenewable efectively describe the prob- to do, Gleick said. The hard path exempliies ways. One is, while I truly believe we’re mov-
lems with supply and demand. A third prob- twentieth-century thinking, which in turn was ing toward sustainable water management and
lem, though, are the ecological damages that based on the nineteenth-century notions that use, I think bad things will happen along the
result from human use of water. Say we take resources were boundless and that science way. We’ll lose some things permanently, like
more and more water from a river. We grow could control nature. There are still places to species. The other thing is that not everybody
more food, we make more widgets, we get an put dams, but dams are very expensive, and will sufer equally. The rich can isolate them-
economic beneit, but the ecological cost also desalinization is too costly to be practical any- selves to some degree from climate change
grows as isheries sufer and wetlands dry up. where except places such as the Persian Gulf, and water problems, but the poor will sufer.
Eventually, the negative ecological costs out- where oil pays for it. Those weren’t rich communities in the Cen-
weigh the economic beneits. We deine that as Hard path believes that no water should es- tral Valley that had their wells dry up.”
the point of peak ecological water.” cape being used, and it is indiferent to the vi- For several minutes, we stood beside the aq-
Gleick pulled the car back onto the road and tality of an ecosystem. By its reasoning, a de- ueduct and simply watched the water lowing
turned onto a blacktop leading to the pump- pleted system can be shed for a new one, the south, the way people stare at a deep hole in the
ing station, which we could see like a fort half- way new oil deposits can be found. The dis- ground. Then Gleick said, “When you start
way up some hills, about a quarter mile ahead. carded system will expire or recover, but the butting up against peak-water limits, you have
Through pipelines and canals, the station sends caravan will have moved on. An example is to start doing things diferently. We’re not go-
water south from the delta as far as Los Angeles, the Colorado River, the passage of which is ing to build many more big dams, and we’re
which gets the bulk of its water from the north. so oversubscribed that only once in the last overdrafting groundwater, but that will drive
The deltas and estuaries it draws from tend to twenty years has the river reached its delta innovation. This is the direction we have to go.
be breeding and nursery areas for birds and ish in Mexico with any low. There’s no more new water.”

154 S e pt e m b e r 2 0 1 8 _ E sq u ire
unlikely tend to point out how diicult it is to ISIS took over dams on the Tigris and Eu-
VII. The Downside move water, but it isn’t any more diicult to phrates and released water on downstream
EARLIER, Gleick had said, “In California, we move water than it is to move oil. villages to prevent attacks on their bases.”
have all the world’s water problems in one form Gleick thinks that water is less likely to “Water Wars” makes a ine headline, Gleick
or another. There’s one exception. We don’t re- cause a war than to be used as a weapon. In said, but he thinks any such conlict between
ally have violence, yet.” Elsewhere, they have 2014, in the journal Weather, Climate, and nations would be more complicated. “India
their share. In 2016 in Darfur, seventy people Society, he published a paper called “Water, and Pakistan have been ighting forever over
were killed “in clashes between farmers and Drought, Climate Change, and Conlict in water in the region of Kashmir,” he said, “but
herders over access to water resources and Syria.” He described the area’s water con- if it breaks into war, water would only be a part
land,” according to the Paciic Institute’s Wa- licts, which are ancient—the irst, accord- of the cause. Egypt has threatened Ethiopia
ter Conlict Chronology. ing to the Water Conlict Chronology, ap- over the Grand Ethiopian Renaissance Dam
In recent years, many of the conlicts in pears to have occurred forty-ive hundred Ethiopia is building over the Nile at the border
which people have been killed over water have years ago when a king named Urlama diverted of Ethiopia and Sudan. Egypt is completely
taken place in India. Some of the occasions in- water through canals to deprive an enemy dependent on the Nile, but would they ac-
volved protests over dams or canals, and some of it. More recently, climate change and tually attack the dam? I don’t think so, but
were farmer-versus-herder disputes. In 2014, the scarcity of freshwater resulting from a it’s possible.”
in northern India, during a drought, a group of drought between 2006 and 2011 led to what The future is rarely a continuation of the
bandits announced that they would kill peo- one expert described as the “most severe present, and doesn’t usually play out as we ex-
ple who lived in villages near their hideout set of crop failures since agricultural civili- pect. Maybe we don’t run out of water. Maybe
unless the people brought them water every zations began in the Fertile Crescent many science inds a better means of providing drink-
day. Twenty-eight villages said they would take millennia ago.” Gleick’s paper discussed able water from castof water and sewage. We
turns paying what they called a “water tax.” how all this encouraged the discontent that tend to think of societal calamities as happen-
Indirectly, water afects civil migration, led to Syria’s civil war. “No one argues that ing in places where the people are diferent
which in turn afects politics in the form of climate change or drought caused the civil from us, yet matters of race and culture seem
responses to migration, such as the rise in Eu- war,” he told me. “But they had an inluence. irrelevant when we all require a half gallon of
rope of right-wing nationalism and the elec- And after the civil war started, there were water each day to survive. When a region runs
tion in Italy in March of populist factions op- massive and unrelenting attacks by pretty out of water, the people left there don’t really
posed to immigrants. Last year, speaking at much all the parties on civilians and infra- die of thirst. They die mainly from the diseases
the Vatican’s Pontiical Academy of Sciences, structure, including, explicitly, water re- that come from drinking bad water. In these
Pope Francis wondered “if we are not on the sources. Attacks on the water-treatment places, the equation is succinct: Demand, sim-
path towards a great world war over water.” plants in Aleppo, attacks in Iraq on local ple human need, the assertion, even, of a right,
People who think a water-conquest war is water systems—use of water as a weapon. overwhelms supply.

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S eptember 2018_Esquire 1 55
this Way Out

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