Rio 1

Madison Rio

Professor Grant Bangerter

Issue Exploration

English 1010

29 January 2019

Social media, is it affecting your relationship? It lingers in every corner of our day to day

lives and is rumored to dictate how we feel about those around us and ourselves. Perhaps what

was considered to be a “fun and early convenience” has now transgressed into an uncontrollable

giant. It’s something that isn’t always talked about, but ABC reported that “a third of all divorce

filings in 2011 contained the word ‘Facebook.’ And that 80% of all divorces were related to

social media in general” (Lupkin, 2012.) These are alarming rates. However, social media hasn’t

just affected intimate relationships.

Based on the research, just a year after Facebook surfaced in 2004, the U.S. began to see

major increases of depression, anxiety, loneliness, and envy. (Cambridge,2017.) Depression in

itself can be destructive and toxic to all relationships. Relationships such as with your parents,

friends, and your coworkers (Bourg, 2011.) Social media has played a major part in being

responsible for the causes of these mental illnesses, and the “paradox effect” (Silva, 2018.) This

illusion and disconnect with the world. Where users have the ability to portray their life as they

see fit. Falsely painting this image that they see more social engagement, have a perfect

relationship, and maybe they even travel to places you often wish you could go. It’s also possible

their life is that great, or perhaps just in this single moment. Regardless, the lasting effects
 Rio 2

remain the same. Users then feel this lack of validation, that their life isn’t sufficient. Finding

themselves feeling stuck, and unhappy. But to me this sounds like a slippery slope.

Envy has always had a place amongst humans. It’s an outfit we wear from time to time.

And though it may not be our best look, it still remains in our closet. “Keeping up with the

Joneses” existed well before social media. Relationships have sustained for less, meaning having

a big house, lots of money, or the newest vehicle will not guarantee your happiness. There have

been relationships that have survived on poverty wages, solely because of the connection those

who are in the relationship have. And what about time spent? Social media can be very time

consuming and based off research and experience, relationships need undivided attention.

According to Social Media Today “Astonishingly, the average person will spend nearly

two hours (approximately 116 minutes) on social media every day, which translates to a total of

5 years and 4 months spent over a lifetime” (Asano, 2017.) Imagine being ignored by a loved

one for more than 5 years, I’m sure that’s bound to create rifts in your relationship. This is also

considerably low, as I’m sure we all know, people love their phones! These are just forms of

social media numbers, imagine if we also factored in technology as a whole.

Spending so much time on social media can also potentially hurt our ability to

communicate with others offline. Leslie Shore, an expert on the matter stated that “those that

have limited experience in reading people do not have the same level of social intelligence

previous generations possess. If this becomes the new normal, building strong, deep relationships

will take more time and will be more difficult to maintain" ( Savoie, 2018.) There you have it

time spent on social media is directly hurting our ability to develop new and or strengthen
 Rio 3

relationships. Social media is supposed to allow us to connect with others and be more social, but

it seems like often more times than not it does the exact opposite.

Although most research suggests that social media has a negative effect on relationships,

there are also positives of using it. Social media allows you to connect, share and interact with

people in almost an instant. From my own usage, experience and research it seems like each

social site has their own benefits to using it.

Facebook is used to keep up with and maintain relationships with friends and family no

matter their distance Grandparents can keep up with their children and grandkids that may live

states away, parents can stay up to date with those who may travel abroad, high school graduates

can stay in touch with their friends they may never see or talk to again otherwise. People take to

facebook to share engagements, graduations, weddings, travel and baby announcements. Within

a few clicks we are able to celebrate and be apart of others life experiences.

Sites like Tinder and Match give you the opportunity to meet and date people you may

have never come in contact with on a daily basis. Twitter is often used to talk to family and

friends as well as connect with companies. There are many companies including those like

comcast, discover card, even McDonalds that respond to customer inquiries and issues through

twitter replies. Instagram is a site that is used a lot to share quick photos and videos of your

family, lives and things you enjoy.

Instagram is also a great place to network if you’re looking for friends, significant

others, to share your small business or to even do things such as marketing, being an influencer

and participate in paid partnerships. Sites like LinkedIn can help build and strengthen your

professional relationships. Not only does it allow you to promote yourself, update your resume,
 Rio 4

and connect with like-minded people, it can also help you find jobs as it has an extensive job

search engine.

So coming back to the main question at hand, does social media affect your

relationships? Before researching this topic, I believed social media negatively impacted

relationships, however after learning more about this topic, it won’t if you don’t let it. If you

don’t let social media as a whole consume you, it is a fantastic way to keep in touch, kill free

time and stay up to date. If you do find yourself feeling lonely, unhappy, or jealous after

scrolling online, take a break. Deactivate your social sites for a few weeks and take some time to

have face to face interactions with those you would normally connect with virtually. It may leave

you feeling happier, living in the moment more and help to strengthen your relationships.
 Rio 5

Works cited

Lupkin, Sydney. “Can Facebook Ruin Your Marriage.” Abcnews.go.com, 12 May 2012

https://abcnews.go.com/Technology/facebook-relationship-status/story?id=16406245

Carlson, Nicholas. “At Last- the Full Story of How Facebook Was Founded.”
Businessinsider.com, 5 Mar 2010, https://www.businessinsider.com/how-facebook-was-
founded-2010-3

“Trends in Depression Prevalence in the USA from 2005 to 2015.” 12, Oct 2017,

https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/psychological-medicine/article/trends-in-
depression-prevalence-in-the-usa-from-2005-to-2015-widening-disparities-in-
vulnerable-groups/8A2904A85BB1F4436102DB78E3854E35

Bourg Carter, Sherrie. “The Hidden Health Hazards of Toxic Relationships.”

Psychologytoday.com, 7 Aug 2011,
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/high-octane-women/201108/the-
hidden-health-hazards-toxic-relationships

Silva, Clarissa. “Social Media’s Impact on Relationships And Self-Esteem.”

Thriveglobal.com, 6 Feb 2018.

https://thriveglobal.com/stories/social-media-s-impact-on-self-esteem/
 Rio 6

Asano, Evan. “How Much Time Do People Spend on Social Media?”

Socialmediatoday.com, 4 Jan. 2017

https://www.socialmediatoday.com/marketing/how-much-time-do-people-spend-social-
media-infographic

Savoie, Gabrielle. “A Relationship Expert Explains Exactly How Social Media Affects
Relationships.” mydomaine.com, 30, May 2018

https://www.mydomaine.com/how-social-media-affects-relationships