Maddy Meredith

Per. 4

Scholarship Essay- Prompt & Original

 Scholarship Essay- Revision

In our society we often take for granted the freedoms we have and in the face of fear or

tragedy we question whether our freedoms cause more harm than good. This is expressed in

the view of American essayist and social critic H.L. Mencken that wrote, “The average man does

not want to be free, He simply wants to be safe.” This outlook is seen occasionally in

contemporary society but the dangers of sacrificing freedoms are widely known and the benefits

of freedom greatly outway the false satisfaction safety would bring.

Many freedoms are the cause of dangers and fear but the cost to our quality of life would

be much too great if freedom were taken away, this is why we as humans have a natural desire

for freedom. For example, in America we enjoy the freedom of speech. However this can lead to

people being moved to violence creating tragedy. The fear created from these situations can

fuel a mistaken want to monitor and control the speech of others, but without every citizen

speaking about what they believe in we would never make any progress and many people

would be stuck in miserable lives, wanting the freedom they can’t have. While there is

consequences, freedom of speech is essential to leading a fulfilling life. Without it there would

be no protests or check on our governmental system. Without this voice from the people the

government would only make decisions to benefit themselves, keeping the citizens at their

mercy. While controlling freedom may seem to be beneficial in stopping those motivated to

violence by hateful words, the fear created will fade and the resulting situation would be much

worse than the original. People ultimately want to be free because the cost of safety without

freedom to the enjoyment of life is far too great.

Societies with safety at the price of freedom is seen and lived out in multiple novels. ​
The

Giver​by Lois Lowry is one society that has completely stripped its people of their freedoms with

the belief it would keep them safe. Memories are oppressed and every aspect of life is
regulated. On the surface their quality of life seems to be great because of the guaranteed

routine of their day to day. However upon closer inspection, people are forced into jobs they

don’t desire and twins are killed just to maintain the order. The people cannot experience the

everyday pleasures like a snow day or the vibrancy of all colors that make life truly great. They

live with false pleasure and cannot comprehend the happiness they are missing out on because

they are safe. Another example is the dystopian society created in George Orwell's ​1984​. This

book perfectly exemplifies the human need for freedom. Even in the easy life the government

has created Winston knows that his living conditions are not adequate. That there must be more

to living then the hate filled world he lives in. He only finds happiness when he is away from the

watchful eyes of big brother that claim to keep the people safe. Deep within himself Winston

doesn’t desire safety, he wants more than anything his freedom.

Today we are under more and more surveillance by way of technologie. Our

smartphones contain the basis for most of our lives and everything we do is able to be tracked.

Our searches are used to find out what we want to buy, our posts are not private and can be

used by the owners of the networks, and the camera and microphones are surveyed. These

devices and data can be used to track our movements and predict what we are going to do

next. As these technological advances continue to infringe more on our privacy those with

access to this information will have the opportunity to change the way we think by controlling

what we see online. This collection of data may be done in the name of safety but it will interfere

with our freedoms if it continues. At the beginning of our country we broke away from England

because of the regulation imposed on us. We lived in a society claimed to be kept safe by king,

but broke away because of the human desire for freedom. This desire continues today as we

fight the collection of our private data and continue to protect the free world that was created so

many years ago.

 Menken believed that humans desire safety not freedom. However, multiple dystopian

societies and the structure and history of American society prove that no matter how safe a

society claims to be, the internal happiness and unique joy freedom brings cannot be matched

or recreated. It is a part of human nature to desire freedom, even if it is sometimes at the price

of safety.

Scholarship Essay- Reflection

The original essay used was from my sophomore year in AP English Language. It was a

prompt given to us before we had a 50 minute class period to write the entirety of the paper.

This piece is from earlier in the year and as that year and the next year in AP Literature went on,

I became much better at composing my thoughts in a short period of time. Another large

difference I noticed in my writing ability from then to now is my outside knowledge that I am able

to use. I was able to reference 1984, a book I just read this year. This extended knowledge

helps to add to the strength of the writing. Also I am able to better integrate sources instead of

only summarizing the source, now using more of my own ideas and commentary.