The Family Journal: Counseling and
Therapy for Couples and Families
Gender Dynamics and Role Adjustment During
the Transition to Parenthood: Current
Perspectives
Julie M. Koivunen,1 Jeanne W. Rothaupt,2 and Susan M. Wolfgram2
Abstract
This review of recent literature addresses the issues of marital change across the transition to parenthood, the process of
redefining gender roles, the division of labor in the family, striving for equally shared parenting, and the struggle to maintain
egalitarianism after the birth of a child. Furthermore, this article also provides practice-related implications for practitioners,
an inclusive term that includes family life educators, couple and family counselors and therapists, social workers, family service
agency personnel, home health aides, and others working with couples and families.
Keywords
transition to parenthood, gender dynamics, gender roles, parenthood
Introduction
Couples who value and strive for egalitarian relationships are
often faced with a new challenge upon the birth of their first
child. Researchers document that despite the best of intentions,
heterosexual couples often fall into more traditional gender
roles after they become parents (Belsky & Kelly, 1994;
Deutsch, 1999; Nomaguchi & Milkie, 2003). The purpose of
this article is to review the literature regarding the transition
to parenthood, focusing on issues that affect marital satisfac-
tion after the birth of a child for those couples who strive to
attain egalitarian relationships. The division of labor, increases
in men’s involvement, marital interaction, and the role of pub-
lic policy will be discussed. Finally, implications for counse-
lors and future research directions are offered.
Changes in Marital Satisfaction After the
Birth of a Child
Research indicates that for many couples, marital satisfaction
decreases after the birth of a child (Belsky & Kelly, 1994; Crawford
& Unger, 2000; Lawrence, Rothman, Cobb, Rothman, &
Bradbury, 2008; Veroff, Young, & Coon, 1997). Crawford and
Unger (2000) explained that most studies of marital satisfaction
report an initial ‘‘honeymoon period’’ followed by reported
diminished happiness after the first child is born, with the lowest
reported marital happiness occurring when children reach
school age or adolescence. Veroff et al. (1997) reported similar
findings and suggested that one reason for the decrease in
marital satisfaction was due to the increased work and responsi-
bility that is associated with having children.
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17(4) 323-328
ª The Author(s) 2009
Reprints and permission: http://www.
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DOI: 10.1177/1066480709347360
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To address the gender issues that affect marital satisfaction
during the transition to parenthood and issues related to egali-
tarianism, three topics will be addressed: the division of labor,
men’s involvement with parenting, and marital interaction.
Division of Labor
Despite women’s increasing involvement in work outside of
the home, they continue to perform the majority of household
tasks (Artis & Pavalko, 2003; Craig, 2006; Greenstein, 1996;
Hochschild, 1989; Perkins & DeMeis, 1996; Perry-Jenkins &
Folk, 1994; Twenge, Campbell, & Foster, 2003). Researchers
have found that an ongoing, continuous unequal distribution
of work and power in the relationship may lead to decreased
levels of marital satisfaction (Frisco & Williams, 2003; Good-
win, 2003; Rabin, 1996). The challenges related to the transi-
tion to parenthood may be especially problematic for women
because often there is an unequal distribution of work and
women bear the burden of increasing household responsibil-
ities, which in turn may lead to decreased levels of relational
satisfaction. Researchers have also found that even in
1
Institute for Families, Center on Violence against Women & Children,
Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey
2
Department of Human Development and Family Studies, University of
Wisconsin-Stout, Menomonie, Wisconsin
Corresponding Author:
Julie M. Koivunen, Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey, 100
Joyce Kilmer Avenue, Building 4161, Room #257, Piscataway, NJ 08854.
Email: jkoivunen@ssw.rutgers.edu
323
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‘‘nontraditional’’ marriages, women do more childcare than
their husbands (Veroff et al., 1997).
Societal and economic changes have led to a dramatic increase
in women’s employment during the last several decades (Thorn-
ton & Young-DeMarco, 2001). As women gain additional
resources and provide income for their families, there is also a
greater expectation for more equality in the division of labor in
childcare and household responsibilities (Apparala, Reifman, &
Munsch, 2003). Baxter, Hewitt, and Haynes (2008) found that
women often spend more time on housework compared to men,
regardless of their marital or parenthood status.
The division of household and family labor often changes
greatly after the birth of a child. This inequity becomes greater,
more evident, and more problematic after children enter the
family structure. Craig (2006) studied a comparison of how
mothers and fathers in intact families spend their time with
children and found that, ‘‘compared to fathering, mothering
involves not only more overall time commitment but more
multitasking, more physical labor, a more rigid timetable, more
time alone with children, and more overall responsibility for
managing care. These gender differences in the quantity and
nature of care apply even when women work full-time’’
(p. 259). Thus, inequality escalates as women are often respon-
sible for a significant increase in household work and childcare,
which translates into even more ongoing, physical work upon
the birth of a child.
Cowan and Cowan (2000) noted various factors that inhibit
men’s participation in family work and include few role models
of men’s participation in family work, the economics of the
workplace, and issues related to the inadequacy of parental
leave in the United States. Interestingly, current research is
exploring the extent to which the gender roles in one’s family
of origin influence couples in their current marital relation-
ships. Gupta (2006) found that ‘‘married and cohabiting men
exposed to maternal employment during childhood spent more
time on housework as adults than did other men’’ (p. 60).
Thompson (1991) addressed the issue of household labor
and suggested that it is important to consider how women feel
about family work. She found that what women valued most
was having ‘‘down time,’’ being able to avoid tasks that they
dislike and perceiving that their partners are responsive and
attentive to their needs. She noted the importance of women
feeling appreciation from their husbands, and many women
reported that they would like their husbands to acknowledge
the significance of the contribution that they make to the house-
hold in doing this work. Thus, it seems that it is important not
only for men to assist with household tasks but also to acknowl-
edge and vocalize their appreciation of their wife’s work. These
issues may present a challenge because research suggests that
men and women have very different perceptions about what
each person contributes in terms of household work (Lee &
Waite, 2005). It may feel incongruent to a husband to express
appreciation to his wife if he perceives the workload as even.
This is potentially very problematic. The research indicates that
despite a woman’s participation in the paid workforce, she is
still more likely to assume a greater share of work and
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The Family Journal: Counseling and Therapy for Couples and Families 17(4)
responsibilities in the home (Craig, 2006; Deutsch, 1999; Feeney,
Hohaus, Noller, & Alexander, 2001; Hochschild, 1989), as well
as provide the majority of the care work and emotional work in
families (Erickson, 2005). In addition to perception of work dif-
ferences, a significant division of labor in the home is related to
decreased marital quality over time (Lavee & Katz, 2002).
Striving for Equally Shared Parenting:
Increases in Men’s Involvement
Recent research has responded to the increasing interest in
men’s involvement in parenting. In their study on the effects
of an intervention program to increase father involvement
during the transition to parenthood, Hawkins, Lovejoy,
Holmes, Blanchard, and Fawcett (2008) found that those men
who participated in an educational program on strengthening
couple relationships also increased their involvement in their
child’s care. Doherty, Erickson, and LaRossa (2006) found that
groups for couples that are theoretically based can improve
men’s skills and involvement with their infants. In their
research on the efficacy of an intervention designed to increase
father involvement, they found that father’s participation in
programs that are informed by empirical literature affected the
men’s parenting behavior favorably by helping them become
more intentional about the time spent with their children, as
well as increasing their interactional skills. In their study on the
effects on marriage of a psychocommunicative-educational
intervention for couples, Shapiro and Gottman (2005) found
that couples who participated in the group experienced more
positive results with regard to marital well-being and quality.
These studies indicate that participation in psychoeducational
programs and groups may be beneficial for couples as they
experience the transition to parenthood and may help with
factors related to marital satisfaction and gender issues as they
pertain to parenting and the division of labor.
In her book, Halving it all: How equally shared parenting
works, Deutsch (1999) describes her study in which she sought
to understand equal parenting from groups of couples. The def-
inition of equality that was used for the study included a couple
being described as ‘‘equal sharers’’ if they agreed that the care
of the children (in a typical week) was split 50-50 between each
spouse. The issue of housework, while related to childcare, was
not explicitly part of her definition. Deutsch (1999) stated that
although she did not specifically ask about the division of
household tasks, there is an overlap between housework and
childcare, such as preparing meals for children, care of cloth-
ing, and picking up toys. Second, she addressed the issue of
men’s work hours and how this influences equality. She found
that in approximately three fourths of the ‘‘unequal’’ couples in
the study, women worked more hours than their husbands did
when paid work and household work were considered together.
She noted that in this type of ‘‘separate but equal’’ arrange-
ment, women have less input in making the important,
significant decisions in the family, have poorer mental health,
and are more financially vulnerable than their husbands in
incidences of divorce. Thus, she argued that both men and
Koivunen et al.
women lose when they split paid work and parenthood along
gendered lines.
The findings of her study indicate that those women who
were in an ‘‘equal sharing’’ marriage were found to be more
confident and self-assured. Additionally, women in these
more egalitarian marriages generally set clear expectations
from the beginning of their marriages that their husbands were
to be equal partners in family tasks, including parenting and
household chores.
Marital Interaction and the Transition to
Parenthood
A study entitled Marital Perceptions and Interactions Across
the Transition to Parenthood by Cox, Paley, Burchinal, and
Payne (1999) addressed the impact of the first child’s birth
on the marriage, and studied couples before the birth of the
child, as well as at 3, 12, and 24 months after the birth of the
new baby. The researchers included 136 couples in the study,
most of whom were in their first marriage, and none of whom
had previous children. The results of their study indicated that
due to additional stresses and challenges, the incidence of
depression may increase. In addition, the results indicated that
dissatisfaction for the couples peaked approximately 1 year
after the child’s birth, and that the more the individual was
depressed, the more their marital satisfaction dropped during
the 1st year after the child’s birth.
The results also indicated that greater marital satisfaction
was reported in couples who had stronger prenatal problem-
solving abilities (Cox et al., 1999). The researchers found that
couples were more likely to have higher marital satisfaction if
the husband was skillful in problem-solving capabilities. In
addition, the researchers observed that men’s interpersonal
skills were very important to marital well-being, and that when
husbands are skillful in ‘‘attending’’ to the relationship, it
relieves their wives of having to do an unequal amount of the
emotional work. Thus, this study emphasized the importance
of effective couple communication in having positive
problem-solving and interpersonal skills.
Public Policy Implications
If couples want to work equally in the care of their child and the
additional work surrounding this event, appropriate family-
friendly policies in the workplace could contribute to a more
equitable division of labor. Deutsch (1999) described various
factors that often contribute to decreases in father involvement.
She suggests that while many men would like to be more
involved in their children’s lives, they are frequently inhibited
by family-unfriendly workplaces. She argues that oftentimes,
women’s workplaces are more aware or more understanding
of mothers wanting to take time to be with their children,
whereas men are usually given less leeway at work, because the
expectation by the employer is that his wife or another person is
responsible for childcare.
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325
Singley and Hynes (2005) explored the interaction between
gender roles, work-family policies, and the marital dyad and
found that after the transition to parenthood, ‘‘women used and
created more flexibility in their work arrangements than their
husbands, often reducing their husbands’ need to use available
work-family policies’’ (p. 376). Bygren and Duvander (2006)
documented the importance of work-related policies for
fathers’ use of parental leave. Their study explored the influ-
ence of both parents’ workplace environments and their effect
on parental leave use. Their findings indicated that father’s use
of parental leave is influenced by the characteristics of their
workplace, and that those who work in male-dominated atmo-
spheres, small workplaces, and in the private sector were less
likely to use parental leave. Other family-friendly workplace
policies such as longer maternity leave have been found to pro-
vide women with a greater ‘‘opportunity to cope with the
demands of a new baby and then manage the combination of
motherhood and employment’’ (Hyde, Essex, Clark, & Klein,
2001, p. 478). These authors suggest that a longer maternity
leave may have a favorable impact on women’s well-being
as well as marital satisfaction upon the birth of a child. These
policy-related issues are important to consider, in that they
have implications for egalitarian, role-sharing couples and
gender role issues during the transition to parenthood.
Implications for Counselors
Research indicates that the transition to parenthood is often a
stressful time for couples as they face the inevitable changes
that occur in marriage and the issue of changing gender roles
in the family. It is often difficult to conceptualize and quantify
the tremendous adjustments one may experience as they move
from being childless to having their first child. Often a time of
challenges and negotiating gender roles, it may also be one of
joy and happiness for the couple as they look forward to the
creation of a new family and the growth and development of
their child. Twenty years ago, Palkovitz (1988) encapsulated
this challenge in explaining that the birth of a couple’s first
child ‘‘catapults people into an irreversible trajectory different
from and experientially distinct from childlessness . . . in some
ways, the research literature falls far short of capturing the
intensity, duration and pervasiveness of the transition’’ (p. 4).
Much has been added to the literature since then, but the stres-
ses and challenges that couples experience continue to affect
relationship quality for many current couples. Although the
existing literature addresses the extent to which couples’ mar-
ital satisfaction is influenced by the birth of a child, and the
subsequent division of labor, other aspects of this phenomenon
have not yet received as much attention.
Assisting couples with life transitions is widespread for fam-
ily service practitioners. Couple and family therapists and
counselors who work within a systemic framework are
uniquely equipped to assist couples as they transition to parent-
hood (Glade, Bean, & Vira, 2005). Those who work with cou-
ples experiencing the transition to parenthood may consider the
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following implications as they work to help them navigate this
new journey.
Nurture Constructive Communication Patterns
As discussed by Kluwer, Heesink, and Van De Vliert (1997), in
their study on marital dynamics, it was found that as women
experience an unequal distribution of household work, conflict
may ensue and may often include the typical demand/withdraw
interactional pattern that exists in many marital dyads. The
authors suggest that couples develop more constructive com-
munication patterns, including mutual understanding and
problem-solving behaviors, which may help to satisfy both
partners. Counselors and therapists could focus their work on
helping couples who are experiencing the transition to
parenthood further develop and improve upon their existing
communication patterns.
Lawrence, Nylen, and Cobb (2007) also underscore the
importance of communication and note that the findings from
their study on the transition to parenthood and prenatal expec-
tations and outcomes suggest that those working with couples
encourage communication between spouses about their own
expectations for parenthood.
Awareness of Possible Shifts in Power
In one approach, those who are sensitive to issues of gender
might consider exploring various aspects of the familial unit
including power differentials, hierarchy within the spousal
dyad, traditional sex roles, and gendered communication pat-
terns. Schneider (1990) suggests, ‘‘a crucial dimension of this
approach is the need for gender sensitivity to be applied not
only through major interventions during clinical work, but in
every interaction with the family’’ (p. 118). Practitioners are
advised to consider the importance of analyzing boundaries and
subsystems in the family, as well as familial rules in the context
of power and hierarchy.
Renegotiate Roles
Researchers also suggest that the extent to which couples strive
to have a more egalitarian perspective and distribution of
household work may contribute to increased marital satisfac-
tion for women. They note that in addition to decreasing role
overload for women, a more equitable approach reduces
resentment and frustration surrounding disproportionate
responsibilities and work (Twenge et al., 2003). Furthermore,
an examination of gender dynamics in marriage and the extent
to which each spouse endorses more traditional attitudes about
parental responsibilities may help couples in negotiating roles
around the transition to parenthood (Synder, Velasquez, &
Clark, 1997).
Support Efforts to Increase Father Involvement
Research indicates that theoretically based groups for couples
have been found to improve men’s skills and involvement with
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The Family Journal: Counseling and Therapy for Couples and Families 17(4)
their infants. The approaches used in these groups included
group discussion, brief lectures, the use of appropriate video
tapes, and various role-playing exercises (Doherty et al.,
2006). Another study suggests that men who participated in
an educational program on strengthening couple relationships
also increased their involvement in their child’s care (Hawkins
et al., 2008). Specifically, researchers used a program entitled
Marriage Moments, a marital enhancement program using
videos and guidebooks to assist couples with their relationship
across the transition to parenthood (Hawkins et al., 2008).
Other research suggests that couples who participated in a
psychocommunicative-educational group experienced more
positive results with regard to marital well-being and quality.
Developed by John Gottman, the Bringing Home Baby work-
shop includes methods such as lectures, role plays, videotapes,
and communication exercises for the couple designed to help
promote positivity in their relationship, foster and enhance
their friendship and partnership, and assist in managing conflict
(Shapiro & Gottman, 2005).
The results of these studies suggest that increasing one’s
participation in psychoeducational groups and programs may
help couples with issues related to marital satisfaction and the
division of child care. Thus, counselors, therapists, and family
service providers, who work with couples may consider the
benefit of conducting psychoeducational groups and programs,
in an effort to provide assistance through this transition, specif-
ically as it relates to marital well-being and men’s participation
in child care.
Manage Affect and Maintain Emotional Intimacy
Family service providers who work with couples could facilitate
discussions regarding expectations for appropriate roles, emo-
tional expressiveness, and decision making, as well as the rede-
finition of gender roles and expectations within the marriage.
Practitioners might also consider addressing other aspects of inti-
macy in the marriage and help couples understand patterns of
interpersonal interaction and the ways in which they change over
time in a relationship. In exploring couples’ experiences with the
transition to parenthood, issues such as unmet intimacy needs
may become problematic as individuals have less time to devote
to their spouse due to the increasing demands of parenting
(Kirby, Baucom, & Peterman, 2005).
Future Directions
The existing literature on the transition to parenthood and gen-
der dynamics in marriage has a considerable focus on issues
that address marital satisfaction and the division of labor. This
review examines the gap in the literature related to various fac-
tors that couples experience during the transition to parent-
hood; the changing dynamics new parents experience
regarding couple satisfaction, marital interaction, and the pro-
cess of striving for equality; and shared parenting after the birth
of a child. This is unique to the literature in that it also includes
Koivunen et al.
implications for counselors and practitioners who work with
couples experiencing this transition.
Additional investigation into diverse family structures and
forms could expand the existing knowledge in the field on cou-
ples transitioning to parenthood. Future research in this area
could benefit from the study of cultural diversity, issues of pov-
erty, and economic factors as they relate to couple’s experi-
ences, as well as gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered
people’s experiences with the transition to parenthood.
In addition, future research on the issue of gender dynamics
and the transition to parenthood might explore the importance
of social and societal supports that could contribute to alleviating
some of the experiences with decreased marital satisfaction after
the birth of a child. Among those couples who seek to participate
equally in the care of their child and the additional work sur-
rounding this event, appropriate family-friendly policies in the
workplace could contribute to a more equitable division of labor.
In conclusion, this review of recent literature on gender
dynamics and the transition to parenthood reveals the complex
ways in which gender roles and couples’ interpersonal dynamics
interact and subsequently influence couples as they experience
the birth of a child. While the current literature addresses issues
around the division of labor and communication processes, there
is a need to further examine other issues that affect the marital
relationship across the transition to parenthood.
Declaration of Conflicting Interests
The authors declared no potential conflicts of interests with respect to
the authorship and/or publication of this article.
Funding
The authors received no financial support for the research and/or
authorship of this article.
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Bios
Julie M. Koivunen, Institute for Families and the Center on Violence
against Women and Children, Rutgers University.
Jeanne W. Rothaupt, Department of Human Development and Fam-
ily Studies, University of Wisconsin–Stout.
Susan M. Wolfgram, Department of Human Development and Fam-
ily Studies, University of Wisconsin–Stout.