LOCAL SUDS, 9 / HOBO STORY 4 U, 13 / PUMPKIN PASTA, 15 / LIBERTY, 19

The
PEG LEG UPD ATE
VERSION 3.1 / NOVEMBER 2010 / THEPEGLEG.COM

LITICAL , 15

GETS PO
E BEAR
TH
T H E
P L U
8, 11, 12 Helday de la Cruz is a nineteen year-old artistic kid residing
in the Pacific Northwest region. He is receiving his AAOT
in January and will be pursuing the Art Major at Portland
State University in 2011. Graphics, painting, sewing, sculpture,
drawing, photography and learning Portuguese include fields
of interest. If he wasn’t an artist, he’d probably be a model, in
Europe.
13 Keith Brumley grew up in Lemmon, S.D., where he began
competing as a bareback bronc rider in 1969. An SDSU Alum-
nus and current SDSU grad student in journalism, Keith has
worked as a self-employed horse trainer since 1985. He began
supplementing his income as a freelance writer in the mid-
1990s. His credits include many magazines, and he now writes
columns for The Collegian.
Progressed from the heart of the United States,
6, 18 Specifically the northern Black Hills is my home estate.
Ever since I was young I had to draw,
instead of taking notes. That’s probably my flaw.
Of course not the only one, I might add;
being opinionated and procrastinating a tad.
I’m currently studying graphic design, and in time,
this will be a stepping stone in my line. — Ryan
10
Drew Lintvedt graduated with a bachelor’s degree in graphic
design from SDSU. He is currently a freelance designer in
Minneapolis where he divides his time between his part-time
day job, freelance design work, personal screenprinting projects,
drawing and watching movies.
19
Tony Gorder is editor-in-chief of The Collegian, SDSU’s
independent, student-run newspaper. He is working toward a
double major in journalism and political science and realizes he
may offend some with his cocky stride and musky odors.
11
Jay Albertson is The Bitin’ Bear.
In real life, he’s sort of like that grumpy guy looking at greeting
cards in the supermarket at the same time as you. You wouldn’t
call him “insane,” but mainly because there’s no point in argu-
ing semantics with The Bear.
2
Gina Caciolo is working on her MFA at CalArts in Critical
Studies: Creative Writing. She’s currently writing towards three
14, 15
book projects. 1. A book of poetry that links city life, the body
and food together and will be paired with an experimental
animation DVD. 2. A sociological and photographical study of
new-era hippies influenced by music. 3. An experimental cross
genre book that discusses how Santa Claus is picked and his
process in becoming the next Santa Claus.
Ely Madden is currently pursuing a B.A. in English at SDSU. 5
He recently moved to S.D. from Hawaii, where he has resided
for the previous eight years. In Hawaii, he attended and worked
on several films as a writer. He currently has an independent
film in pre-production that he wrote but doesn’t seem to be
going anywhere. His main interests are writing poetry and
screenplays, Guinness and women.
Simeon Brown is a product of the Midwest. Whether he’s 17
installing shingles or discussing Foucault, Simeon can hold his
own. An animal lover, Simeon has the body of a linebacker and
the soul of a blood-thirsty tiger soft winter kitten. He’s got a lot
going for him — English student, hunk, etc.
Too bad he’s a Packers fan.
Joshua T. Bell is not interesting. He likes a wide array of things 4
from Andrew Tobias novels to Xena Warrior Princess. He
writes in his spare time mostly to keep the little bit of sanity
he holds. He’s commonly referred to as “Josh,” “Zippity Little
Queer” or simply by his full(ish) name “Joshua T. Bell.” He can
be seen writing on his computer or in his notebook, or making
ears bleed with what he considers to be a decent voice.
9
[cuneiform:ation doesn’t do interviews]
Catey Watkins currently goes to school for advertising with
sociology and marketing minors. She somehow ended up on 4, 21
this path after realizing she is good at nothing that actually
pays well. This is a lesson: learn math — love math. In her spare
time, she enjoys interning for the PLU, beheading Barbie dolls,
finger painting, playing rugby, training monkeys to write her
poetry and serving cold drinks to the thirsty. She aspires to
make crazy her career; after all, if Gaga can do it, anyone can.
HELLO
THERE
R E A D E R S :
THANK YOU FOR
WELCOMING US INTO
YOUR PRIVATE BATHROOM,
DINNER PARTY OR
OTHERWISE ADVENTUROUS
ENVIRONMENT. SORRY
ABOUT ALL THE DAVE STUFF.
NOTICED IT A LITTLE LATE.
I WANT TO INVITE
YOU TO OUR WEBSITE, The Peg Leg Update is an experimental,

T H E P E G L E G . C O M . makeshift print publication and website

based in Brookings, S.D.

IT CONTAINS TREATS OF It began in fall 2009 and made some-

what of a resurgence a year later after
ALL TYPES, INCLUDING some time off. What it is, and what it

OUR BACK ISSUES AND becomes, is up to you.

(And the people losing sleep who produce
“EXCLUSIVE” WEB CONTENT. and promote the content.)

IF YOU LIKE WHAT YOU Editor: MITCH LECLAIR

SEE AND WOULD LIKE TO Intern: CATEY WATKINS

Sensei: SIMEON BROWN
DONATE, SUBSCRIBE OR E-mail: thepeglegupdate@gmail.com
CONTRIBUTE, CONTACT US. Website: thepegleg.com

WE HAVE E-MAIL FINALLY. Elements: SIRI

BOYD &
I DON’T HAVE MUCH ELSE BRANDON HENDERSON
Mascot: THE KITTEH
TO SAY BESIDES, “ENJOY.”
Mitch LeClair wishes he wasn’t out of milk. He graduated from SDSU in May 2010, moved to
Oregon in July and currently writes for the Hermiston Herald. In his free time, Mitch enjoys
a well-made gin-and-tonic and friendly pets. He is not the avatar he wishes he could be. Side
note: the “4 U” on the front is facetious. Mitch dreams of reader comments pouring into his [spread the information]
inbox and breakfast overlooking the beach.

3
 poetry

CATEY WATKINS JOSHUA T. BELL

Tuesday’s great revolution Adulterer

My foot to pavement quickens,

I realize I’m late again.
My headphones blaring music —
Morning therapy in the form of The Clash.
I look down to see the holes in my favorite shoes,
As long as they stay comfortable I’ll keep wearing them.
My eyes dart back up afraid I’ve missed a hello.
Would I have said it back?
Probably. Out of reaction.
Most of my interaction has been reaction as of late.
Ferns have more productive social lives than I.
You stand in the kitchen.
But I live better at night,
Your back, covered in my tee, places
I await the darker hours.
a wall between me and the toaster.
I even enjoy the sound of squealing drunks.
It’s the daylight that kills me.
The smell of burnt toast rises
Sunshine blaring down unforgivingly —
from the machine. Heat burns
Displaying every flaw around us
the soft white bread, creating
And forcing me to throw on my cheap shades.
something you eat, but never
I learned long ago that ignorance is truly bliss.
would it touch my lips again.
Keep me happy, in the dark;
Like a fungus I shall thrive.
You open the apple jelly
I’m not sure what anyone of us know anymore …
and slide the knife inside
Everything we know about poetry we read on bathroom stalls,
and out. You caress the bread
Everything we know about love was from hips that won’t lie,
with the jelly, moving it up
Everything we know about the rest of the world showed up
and down across your meal.
on our news feed next to the poker stats.
We get our history from the years of fashion collected in our closets.
You take a bite with a
Maybe it’s better to be in the dark.
serpent's smile. You gave
Take me back to the stone ages and make the world flat again.
that piece to me. I left it sit,
Turn out the lights, turn off the sound.
and walked away.
I’m sick of the stimulation, the deadlines —
I throw down my tattered coffee cup.
“I’ve had it, I’m starting a revolution!”
People are staring.
And I turn, no class for this rebel today.
I have revolts to start; I have a world to tear apart.
I have to head to Walmart.
My printer’s out of ink.
And my assignment’s not done.
Guess we can change the world tomorrow.
I’ll start a Facebook event.

4
poetry advertise in the PLU

thepeglegupdate@
gmail.com
ELY MADDEN
Dichotomy in the pale
web options

we design /
Autumnal utterances whisper sweet nothings into my ear you design
The calm of the death is unsettling,
“That asshole won’t quit talking in the corner”
“The pink one?”
“Yeah”
Lazy hula-hoops have faded under
his enormous pressure
pretty darn
Grasping for life good rates
Receiving only confusion.
The spiral will only continue
He says
What the fuck does he know?
He’s hardly around anyway.

The cool air in my lungs is rejuvenating

The feeling is not as distant as it used to be
And I shirk back in fear
No
That’s not the case
That almost killed him
You’re better than that 417 main ave. • brookings, s.d.

Delivery:
Stronger than that
Pick yourself up
Can somebody please get that pink
Son of a bitch 605.697.5242
Out of here?
Mon.-Tues.
I can’t see through all of this light, 11am-2pm & 5pm-9pm
The crushing blue is overwhelming. Wed.-Sat.
A gust of wind hits me 11am-2pm & 5pm-10pm
I almost fall forward
Behind me is that existence Sunday
And there he stands again 11am-2pm
Sadness and Happiness on his face
You’re mistaken you know
Am I? COLLEGE
NIGHT
Your apathetic reproach is loathsome
His head shakes and he takes a step forward
Beauty is a cruel mistress, you know;
Fuck you coming soon!
ft. beer specials
Senses pull away as I move forward
I see the sound
Can feel the sight 10% off with
I know how you are.
this ad
(exp. Nov. 31, 2010)
5
RYAN RYKEN 6
SHORT SELECTIONS
The shape of a container
is just as recognizable and
prone to attachment-via-
visual stimuli as the color of a
box.
by Mitch LeClair
[A journey through Stephan Kin-
sella’s Against Intellectual Property helped
produce the following meditations. Find a
PDF copy of the book on thepegleg.com.]
Coordinating its self-inflicted demise
with my own downgrade from functioning
human into production zombie tonight, a
mouse in my house finally triggered a trap.
I have struggled with this mouse for
two months, as it has made an appearance
beneath my kitchen counters every few days
or more.
I’ve tried peanut butter on tradi-
tional Victor mousetraps and plenty of
live-trap devices, including a plastic con-
tainer propped with a highlighter, a brown
paper wine-bottle bag on a string and the
one I truly thought would work: standing
on my sink for 20 minutes, empty afore-
mentioned wine bottle in hand, ready to
deliver the little bastard to Hades in one
swift motion.
It seemed like I would never rid my
house of the problem.
I considered many options, as I said,
and didn’t necessarily want to kill the little
bugger.
But, I wanted it to exit my life.
It died suddenly after the memory-
metal spring threw the golden square
around the mouse’s brown side.
It really was a remarkable looking
mouse. Appeared to be perfectly healthy.
But, it’s best that it’s gone.
- Band files from my hard drive. 235 songs. 1
After attending a Yo La Tengo show
last fall in Omaha, Neb., I spoke with Ira
and Georgia — the guitar/drum, married
portion of the group.
Ira apologized for not e-mailing me
back over the course of a few weeks leading
up to the show.
(I had requested some interview time
but only heard rejections back.)
Extras. Givin’ people what they want.
A few weeks later, I posted an account
of the night on our website and e-mailed a
link to the band.
Ira e-mailed back a few days later,
thanking me for coming to the show [nic-
estrockstar] and requesting that I put up a
few links to commercial music sources in-
stead of including only “free” sources in my
write-up on the show.
People ought to earn their living on
everything they contribute towards others’
satisfactions, not just one arbitrarily pro-
tected piece or another.
Yo la Tengo has been doing that for
more than 20 years.
7 THEPEGLEG.COM
-
About an hour before drafting this
piece, I deleted 1.6 GB of Dave Matthews
day, 2 hours, 55 minutes of music.
At 10 songs on albums that cost $10,
one could legally buy that amount of music
for just more than $200.
I checked, and I never played one of
those 235 songs.
And would I ever — in any conception
of reality I can create — have bought that
much Dave music? No. In fact, I’ve never
spent a dime.
(Except for Mile High Festival and
the last 10,000 Lakes Festival, indirectly,
but most of the final few days of the lat-
ter freak-show included heavy doses … of
trying to stay away from the bros. [Also: no
offense to Dave Matthews fans of differ-
ent persuasion. I kept some Dave and Tim
Reynolds stuff. It’s a complicated issue.])
CONT. on 23
HELDAY DE LA CRUZ 8
“Ordering mild wings must be
like getting KFC with ketchup
on it. That sounds gross.”
LOCAL SUDS: O’HARE’S
by cuneiform:ation
Take it slow — lips float through an
inch of magical foam to a rich draught of
90 Shilling Ale. I nibble a few leftover
bubbles off the tips of my mustache in the
most gentlemanly manner possible. I feel
like I just got out of a visit with the thera-
pist, or have been listening to a lot of NPR
— something about O’Hare’s just makes
me mellow. Although Skinner’s or Jim’s
are equally in the running, O’Hare’s might
have the best default playlist in downtown
Brookings, and I smile over more gulps of
ale as Pearl Jam gets me coming back again.
I close my eyes as the lightning crashes and
the angel opens her eyes, then I open my
eyes to the only thing that could make this
moment better — a plate of steaming hot
wings.
O’Hare’s is the place to be on
Wednesday nights. O.K., there are a few
other places you could be, but not many
are more pleasant. O’Hare’s Wednesday
night specials are fifty-cent wings and five-
dollar pitchers. The element that makes
this special even more, uh, special is that
O’Hare’s has some really nice taps, and im-
ports are still only five bucks a pitcher. As
far as I know, there’s nowhere else in town,
at any time, where you can get a pitcher of
Killian’s, Shell, or Guinness for that price.
O’Hare’s gets a B+ or better on their
buffalo wings. I note right away a serious
mark of class — this place serves hot wings
with bleu cheese instead of ranch.
Matter of fact, I note a couple deli-
cious bites in that this is the best dressing
I’ve ever had — it actually contains big
crumbly chunks of real cheese. I ask the just the ticket tonight. I order another
bartender — the dressing’s homemade. pitcher and tip the tall chair against a wall.
The wings are delicious and comparatively Twinkies are up by two runs in the seventh;
large as far as buffalo wings go. They are enough to feel good that they’re winning,
very meaty but not very crispy on the out- but close enough for the game to still be
side. Due to this low crunchiness rating, a game.
the thick wings can have a slightly gummy O’Hare’s is, easily, classier than my
characteristic. Also, I wish they were a little default dives, but the cozy basement is
smokier and spicier. guaranteed to put anybody, from a con-
Then again, hot wings are never hot struction worker to a student, at ease — the
enough for me when I order them in the perfect place to work on homework or have
Midwest. Spicy isn’t particularly a South a conversation with a friend. There’s few
Dakota forte. Criticism aside, it’s been a combinations better than chicken and beer,
long time since I’ve enjoyed eating a plate and on Wednesday nights, O’Hare’s makes
of wings as much as at O’Hares. The them such an attractive offer you can’t af-
chicken is simply first-class, along with the ford not to go.
above-mentioned dressing.
I find myself contemplating a prob-
lem — the first bite of a hot wing is always
the meatiest and sauciest, so that is the bite
you want to eat plain. The later bites, in the
middle of the wing, are the ones you want
with dressing. But the meat on the outside
of the wing is the easiest to dip in the dress-
ing. The meat on the inside is in between
bones and doesn’t have much available
surface area for dunking. I don’t find a
complete solution by the time I clean my
plate, but it’s an enjoyable task – I’ll figure
it out eventually. I do figure one thing out
tonight, as I overheard most others in the
bar tonight ordering mild wings. Ordering
mild wings must be like getting KFC with
ketchup on it. That sounds gross.
Dave Matthews and the Twins are
playing — Dave and baseball usually bore
me, but this place is so relaxing, they’re
9 THEPEGLEG.COM
DREW LINTVEDT 10
THE BEAR GETS POLITICAL
dear Bitin’ Bear,
WHO SHOULD I VOTE FOR —
DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN?
— PUKWANA, S.D.
Dear Dem. or Rep.,
You poor, dumb ass. Don’t you realize
how stupid voting is? Partisan bickering —
the seemingly endless finger pointing from
Democrats and Republicans — is the death
rattle of this country. The fact that Fox
News is so damn popular and Glenn Beck
actually has listeners is guaranteed proof
that voters no longer want to compromise.
Bipartisanship is a foreign word to the
jack-asses in this country. It’s a land full of
selfish, unenlightened, whiny blow-hards,
and it deserves exactly what’s coming to it.
Our politicians want us to keep fight-
ing over stupid stuff, so we don’t notice the
complete bastardization of Democracy.
Think about some of the issues people fight
over and what keeps them from voting for
certain politicians. We recently saw in our
own state of South Dakota the backlash
Stephanie Herseth-Sandlin experienced
due to her stance on healthcare. People get
so passionate about a single issue that they
turn on an elected official because of a sin-
gle issue. So rather than compromise, they
sit and stew over how wrong the other side
is, quote Bill O’Reilly and Michael Moore
and pass it off as facts.
Ever notice how rich anglo-saxon male
TV commentators are the ones complain-
ing about the state of the nation. What do
these four-flushers had to be upset about in
the first place? Having their own TV show?
Having a ton of money? Since they are
mostly white, middle-aged males, they face
very little discrimination. So what gives?
Could it be that they are trying to spread
disinformation and avoid accountability by
saying, “Hey, I’m just a commentator!”?
Democrats are accused of trying to
create a socialist country and taking away
all the guns. Republicans are accused of be-
ing war-mongering and elitist. Someone
isn’t telling the truth; could it be both sides?
While this giant crap storm is going on,
people ignore what’s really going on in this
country.
Let’s just admit that Democrats and
Republicans have similar agendas (which is
why they try so hard to keep third parties
out). They did it to Ross Perot and Ralph
Nader [ed: and Ron Paul]. Ralph Nader
wasn’t even allowed to attend an Al Gore
rally because of the fear he might ask some
hard-hitting questions. So, when we see
campaigns like MTV’s Vote or Die, it’s an
attempt to get more people to vote, and in
all honesty, it means vote Democrat.
I consider myself to be fairly liberal,
but Democrats are the worst of the worst.
They refer to voting to third parties as
“throwing your vote away;” this has to be
the worst argument ever and is no way to
win over third-party voters. Basically, the
message is, “We’re Democrats, and we
shouldn’t have to try to earn your votes.”
What’s the follow up to this argument?
“You have to pick the lesser of two evils.”
Doesn’t that just make voting sound akin to
some horrible neurosis?
Voting is a fools game, but when a
person is subtly acknowledging the hope-
lessness involved with our political system
and chooses to actively participate, I feel
nothing but pity. Since I’ve been 18, I have
heard the same slogan every election year:
“It’s the most important election of your
life.” They need to propose each year as a
new grandiose event, just to keep the mass-
es interested and invested in the two parties,
as to eliminate the options of looking else-
11
HELDAY DE LA CRUZ
where for answers. It’s just possible that you
have no choice. Your real choices: large or
small, original or extra crispy, cola or diet,
Walmart or Target.
My suggestion: screw it, don’t vote. The
immediate reaction is, “If you don’t vote,
you can’t complain for another four years!”
What kind of stupid argument is that?
How does a non-voter have any account-
ability for the actions of elected officials?
That’s like blaming a vegetarian for the de-
cline in McDonald’s hamburgers.
Furthermore, it seems a little fascist to
say to anybody, “You can’t complain.” Peo-
ple speak in campaign slogans and cliché
phrases when it comes to voting: “Lesser
of two evils,” “If you don’t vote you have
no right to complain,” “Yes, We Can” and
possibly the most ridiculous, “Voting is im-
portant.”
Voting is important in the way it al-
lows the powers in charge to keep up
appearances and keep the masses thinking
they actually are participating in a so-called
“election.” Voting to the American public is
just as corporate as Christmas, Nike shoes
or the new M&M color. The only difference
is M&Ms are enjoyable.
THEPEGLEG.COM
HELDAY DE LA CRUZ 12
, “taking folks from just one
point to another.
Nobody cared.”
REMEMBRANCE OF HOBO DAYS
PAST
by Keith Brumley
Winter was coming. Anxiety ebbed
and flowed while bills piled up like breakers
against the Cape Cod shoreline. I was in a
bad way, and on the weekend of Hobo Day
1983, things got so serious I borrowed an
ancient Underwood typewriter, buckled a
pair of wings to it and flew to Japan.
Over the port of Osaka, a typhoon
was building. I was low on fuel and horribly
aware of the impossibility for self-redemp-
tion.
Fortune smiled, and for a moment, the
clouds broke. I sometimes like to think my
salvation was due to my superb piloting, but
it was obviously something else.
I turned my winged wonder and dove
through the storm. For the moment I was
safe.
I refueled the old thing and stowed it
away. Downtown, millions of people were
scuttling around like roaches — hawking
their souls and selling their ill-used integ-
rity for the illusion of security.
After my experience above the clouds,
I was insecure — even paranoid. I couldn’t
handle it. I wandered down to the pier.
I was delighted to meet a family of
Swedes scraping barnacles off the hull of
an austere sailboat. These people had been
sailing around the globe for years — doing
what they could with what they had. We
shared some beers.
“Why, in God’s name are you living
like this?” I said. I figured they’d have better
options.
“It’s a story,” the wife said. I glanced
at my watch.
“I’ve got time.”
“I was raised,” the husband said, “in a
place of importance. In the afternoons, I’d
stroll through the grounds and poke around
the rock formations native to the site.”
“Sometimes,” the wife said, “he’d find
a high spot and look out on a panorama
that’d take anyone’s breath.”
“I used to do the same thing!” I was
thrilled to find someone else who grew up
in the same place and shared my sensibili-
ties.
“Let me finish my story!” I felt more
than a little chagrined.
“I graduated from college.” The old
man paused. He took a pull from that po-
tent Konigsberg Ale. “I traveled a bit, taking
jobs when needed. I found a tour company
that was taking applications for guides.
What’s more, the tours were to be at the
same place I was born.”
“I remember,” I said. “That company
went bankrupt. Too bad.” He looked at me
like I was a fool.
“I’ll tell you why.” His children, who’d
been happily chattering away, fell silent. “I
got the job I applied for and was even paid
13
to go to tour-guide school. I was thrilled.”
His wife looked inland.
“It went well for awhile,” the man said.
“Then,” he said, looking me square in
the eye. “I noticed some changes. Most of
those on the bus began to act oddly. They
weren’t interested in the tour.”
“Almost all the passengers,” he said,
“would either doze or just read the sports
page.”
“In fact,” his wife said, “it got to where
he felt wrong to even stop the bus.”
“I questioned my supervisors and dis-
covered that the tour had been incorporated
into a bus route,” he said, “taking folks from
just one point to another. Nobody cared.”
The wife nodded and started to make
ready to sail. I looked up. The skies were
clear.
“I was hurt and angry.” The old Swede
shook his head. “For awhile, I’d hang around
the drivers who still considered themselves
tour guides.”
“Is this an allegory about education?” I
asked. I’d finished my beer and was empty-
ing my bladder. A gust splashed urine back
on my jeans.
“For Christ’s sake,” the man said. “Step
to the other side!”
It was good advice. Then he smiled.
“I realized, in the end, that I was just
another bus driver. That’s when I quit.”
THEPEGLEG.COM
GINA CACIOLO 14
EVERYTHING WILL
BE OK
OR
WE’LL ALL BECOME
GIRAFFES
Emily, sips on margaritas
and bakes—steam wafts
while velvet cream is tangy
and dirty honey orange
is ready when the bell rings.

I drink down wine,

smooth—like her kiss.
“When I eat marshmallows it snows,”
I warn her in gristle rhythm every night.

She says, ‘Cool beans’

but her eyes are soft French cashmere
when she walks down
the floor—a shore.

I wonder if we can be revolutionary.

“Je vex faire des galipettes avec toi,”
I suggest and stretch my long neck.

There is a spike of faith,

but her pearls said, “Do what?
No thanks, I like handstands,”
and my marsh melts into mallow
when placed on her pumpkin pasta.

Creamy Pumpkin Pasta

1 small pumpkin 1 tsp ground ginger 1 cup walnuts 1 tsp ground nutmeg
1/2 bag or box of orzo pasta 1 tsp ground cumin 1 small whipping cream 1 tsp ground sage
1 tbs salt 1 tsp ground cloves* 1 tbs pepper 4 tbs unsalted butter
1 container of soft, creamy goat cheese

Prep:
1. Cube pumpkin. [Cut off the top. Pull out all the seeds** and some guts. Cut off tougher pumpkin sections and
discard skin.]

Cook:
1. Pour water into a large pot, and follow directions based on orzo pasta instructions. Place pot on high. Place large
sauté pan on medium-low and add butter, pumpkin, ginger, nutmeg, cumin, sage, cloves, salt and pepper. Cover with
a lid. Stir every five minutes. Pumpkin will be done in 20-25 minutes.
2. Add orzo to pot when water is boiling. Place pumpkin mixture on low. Follow directions for cooking time on orzo
instructions.
3. Drain pasta when cooked thoroughly. Add pasta back into pot. Add whipping cream and stir. Add goat cheese and
stir. Stir with a fork to make sure it is even. Add pumpkin mixture and stir. Add walnuts and stir. Serve and enjoy!
* Many of these spices may not be in your regular spice cabinet, but they are absolutely worth purchasing. Some select
stores (Sprouts, etc.) allow you to buy a small amount of them. I highly suggesting spending the extra money on them
and incorporating them into your regular collection of food.
** Keep the seeds for toasting for a yummy snack. Sprinkle with ginger, nutmeg and salt, then bake at 375 degrees
until golden brown.

15 THEPEGLEG.COM
MITCH LECLAIR 16
TURNIP YOUR RADIO
One Young Writer Learns
Garden-Variety Story-telling
from Flowerman
by Simeon Brown and a Microphone
One of the last things Flowerman told
me before I left the offices of Fresh Produce
(“A little advertising agency on the prairie”)
in downtown Sioux Falls was, “If you ever
take a journalism class, they’ll eventually
teach about the inverted triangle, which is
a model for how you’re supposed to front-
load all the article’s information in, like, the
first 50 words, so that way if people don’t
finish, at least they got the main points. But
that’s not how you want to tell a story."
The first place we sat down after he
gave me an introductory tour of the office
was his recording studio, where we drank
coffee while he spent the next hour and a
half showing me his recording equipment,
production software (“I’m probably the only
guy who plays his entire show off iTunes”)
and the other dirty details beneath South
Dakota Public Broadcasting’s (SDPB) hot-
test home-grown radio variety show.
The Rock Garden Tour has been on-
air for two seasons, first playing on 94.5
KCFS out of the University of Sioux Falls.
Flowerman performs the show live for two
hours on KCFS Thursday night at seven
[check thepegleg.com for links to live show
and archives]. SDPB began airing a one-
hour version of the show on the weekends
soon after [Brookings listeners can find it
at 88.3 FM].
“One thing the NPR producers will
always tell me," he said, “is to kind of try
and create that traditional story with the
beginning, middle and end.” He paused
a beat. “I guess I have a lot of fun in that
middle part," he said, chuckling.
Flowerman went on to identify that,
although he feels he always keeps the es-
sence and necessary structure of every
episode intact when pruning down the live
version, the production loses its sense of
spontaneity.
“I keep the cohesiveness,” he said, “but
I start missing that middle part."
Flowerman proceeded to give an ex-
ample from a few weeks ago when he and
his soundboard technician, Oil Can, started
pursuing a fascinating tangent about the
town of Menlow, S.D, which happened to
be the state’s first town to install a commu-
nity pool.
“The bit was hilarious, but it was just
too much and too far outside the show’s
theme for the public radio version," he said.
Even if he can’t squeeze in all the tan-
gents, the public-radio version of the show
sounds good, beginning Saturday evenings
at 7 p.m. and Sunday nights at 10 p.m. with
a signature montage splicing sounds of re-
cording technology and banjo riffs cutting
into a voice saying, “This is what happens
17
when a dude majors in horticulture and
broadcast journalism in college."
The nerdy disclaimer is part of Flow-
erman’s act, which is a trendy blend of indie
sensibility, folk culture and eclectic interest
in all things musical, vegetative or South
Dakotan.
By this point in the article, I hope I’ve
convinced you that Flowerman, a.k.a. Ted
Heeren, is a pretty cool dude. He began his
college career at SDSU, experimenting with
radio while he went to school here, hosting
The Flower Power Hour on Brookings ra-
dio as well as DJing for KSDJ.
The truth is, performing and broad-
casting have always been part of Heeren’s
life. When he was young, his four older sis-
ters were a musical group that traveled the
Midwest singing at fairs, festivals, churches,
etc.
In those days, Heeren’s job as MC
required him to wear matching orange over-
alls and frilly waist-coat as he introduced
his sisters — supposedly these pictures may
be viewed if you friend him on Facebook.
CONT. on 22
THEPEGLEG.COM
RYAN RYKEN 18
LIBERTY IN THE ABSENCE OF GOD

by Tony Gorder
One day, I heard the familiar voice
of Fox News’ Glenn Beck warn me of the
Progressive plan to take away my rights and
freedoms.
Beck described the Progressive’s plan
to remove God from America — from our
very culture — so that we the people are
forced place all our faith in the government.
Beck argued that the Constitution is rooted
in the belief of God-given rights, our hu-
man rights transcend the government and
the only way to restore and protect our free-
dom is by having faith — that without faith,
the government will be able to control every
aspect of our lives.
A bold theory, indeed. Mr. Beck is
doing what he does best: questioning
(and accusing) with boldness. I’m not try-
ing to rag on Beck, nor do I have no idea
whether he’s right or not — those aren’t my
intentions. My point is that by having our
fundamental rights based solely on the be-
lief in God or a god, it makes it much easier
to strip people of their freedoms.
What Beck is talking about is Natural
Law — the idea that humanity’s fundamen-
tal rights are inalienable and come from a
Creator. No matter what government docu-
ment guarantees or limits rights, humans
still have those rights. Traditionally, Natural
Law comes from a Creator.
I don’t think this is a necessity, and phased out of a culture. take away. Natural Law and our liberties
placing so much faith in religion is actually Furthermore, what are agnostics, athe- should not be dependent on faith or a cre-
dangerous to freedom. ists and [insert other belief here] to do? Can ator in the religious sense. I’m here; I’ve
I’m not sure if Beck is right about this they not have strong beliefs in rights and been created, one way or another. How we
Progressive Plan, but let’s say he is. By his liberties? Are they automatically progres- are here should not affect the fundamental
logic, if religion is removed from our cul- sive-authoritarian-pinko-commie nazis? freedoms we have while we are here.
ture, our rights and liberties will go by the Cannot I have basic human rights Believe what you want. Subscribe to
wayside. Talk about putting all your eggs in without faith? Cannot I be free without any religion, belief or whatever you want.
one basket. religion? Just don’t let your freedoms, rights and lib-
Religion is tangible, or at least it is for I can by the very fact I AM. erties rely solely on that.
many. Look at all the “horror stories” you People inherently have basic rights by Humanity — the very fact that WE
hear about removing God from our schools, the fact that we are human, regardless of ARE — is where our liberties come from.
from our Pledge of Allegiance, from our religion or faith. Cultures change and reli- Whether you wish to attribute that to a
government and from our money. Reli- gious beliefs may change, but my humanity Creator is up to you; just don’t let those lib-
gion is something that many claim can be is something that no government can ever erties rely solely on that creator.

19 THEPEGLEG.COM
MITCH LECLAIR 20
A MAN IN A BAR TOLD ME
by Catey Watkins
“People are scared of each other. That’s
why ideas and signs breed violence. You
know what scares me? People who’ve never
gone anywhere or done anything — they
just know they have rights.”
I continue working, methodically rins-
ing glasses one at a time, but his words
resonate throughout my head. He’s right;
the most dangerous people in world are
the ones who stay scared and never look at
the world around them. It’s the people who
will start a lawsuit for the sake of money
or violence, simply because they refuse to
empathize — they just hide behind their
rights. These rights they don’t even under-
stand.
They don’t look at people for who they
are or what they think. They view people
by the signs a person may carry. Republi-
can, Democrat, Gay, Straight. What does it
matter? These signs might help create who
you are, but they are not the entirety of your
being.
One of my roommates is gay. That isn’t
all he is. He’s funny — very funny. He’s a
clever fellow with that quick wit of his too.
He has a ridiculous love of cars and road
trips. But some people meet him and are
too concerned with his sexual orientation
to see past that sometimes. He doesn’t hide
behind his sign — people put him behind
it.
I run into that. Sometimes, people see
that things I’m involved in and believe that’s
all I am. I’m in the military, but that doesn’t
mean that’s all I am. I’m a freethinker and a
creative person. Why does this one charac-
teristic of my life become the sole defining
factor that people often pick out and limit
me to? Sometimes, I think people forget to
see three-dimensionally; they can’t incorpo-
rate all factors.
THAT SAME MAN
IN A BAR
SAID:
“There was no question in my mind
that I had to go places. No second thoughts.
Why would someone live forever within 30
miles?!”
I agreed with him. It’s not a life I
would choose for myself. But I suppose it’s
fear that would keep someone there. Fear of
the unknown; fear of others; fear of failure.
No one is ultimately responsible for the life
you lead besides you.
I continue washing glasses. He asks me
what I plan on doing, if I ever think about
who I want to be. Of course I do. How can
one not? I guess I don’t have a strict plan.
I’d like to think that this is to avoid labeling
and limiting myself, but I know better than
to try to rationalize. The world’s a scary
place full of people who will abuse and ig-
nore you, who will never think before they
act — and they will be within their rights to
do so, but we ought to not be scared of one
another. That was the generations before us.
We should be a generation of acceptance.
Walking across campus today, I saw
a booth set up with pamphlets and a nice
looking lady sharing “good news.” I couldn’t,
however, look past the giant sign telling me
that alcohol and rock music was sending me
to hell. Well, that’s not good news at all.
What’d I do to these people? I certain-
ly wasn’t blasting rock music and spilling
booze on them (though I was now consid-
ering it). I just can’t seem to see why they
21
would be fearful or condescending towards
others’ lifestyles that don’t affect them. I
didn’t label me — they did. Then they told
me my label was my downfall.
Well, you may have back your label. I
didn’t need it anyway. I’m just here for the
show and the lesson, even though these
people would sooner tell me I’m burning
eternally in hell. To stop talking to them,
I would say nothing about their beliefs, as
long as they didn’t thrust them upon me.
I can accept differences in beliefs. Accep-
tance doesn’t mean you always like it, but
rather that you can look past it to the more
important issue.
This fall, college student Tyler Cle-
menti of New York committed suicide
after his roommate violated his privacy and
broadcast his sexual encounter with another
man.
There’s been a recent spree of this:
suicides due to bullying, particularly in the
homosexual community. Why is this? Why
can’t people just allow others to live their
lives and manage to not make something
that doesn’t affect them their business?
People are dying due to fear of life as op-
posed to living due to fear of death. I guess
that maybe it’s true. “People are scared of
each other.”
At least, that’s what a man in a bar told
me.
THEPEGLEG.COM
JUMP page one
BEAR . 11
That’s my advice. Screw all this flag-
waving, pin-headed foolishness. It’s never
going to change; the corporate interest in-
volved is too strong. Do you honestly think
any of these rich criminals gives a loose turd
about the American public? They are con-
cerned with their old college buddies, the
people that they see on the golf course and
their rich business friends. The rich spend
more money than you can imagine putting
people into power. Can you say Goldman
Sachs? (Isn’t that name the ultimate slap
to the face to the people of this country:
Gold-man Sacks. Damn it, anyways.) The
politicians are just a creation of corpora-
tions served as a choice.
So, stay home that day next year. Paint
a picture, write a poem or make love with
your counterpart (or a stranger). I think you
will infinitely be happier with yourself.
TURNIP . 17
These days, Flowerman’s wardrobe is
more inclined towards well-worn sweaters,
hip glasses and soft cotton gardening gloves,
but his voice still reaches out to audiences.
His radio show is presumably about gar-
dening and “free-range rock-n-roll,” but the
advice he dispenses generally takes the form
of stories, and the content includes any and
all pieces of South Dakota lore and lyric.[1]
A frequent sound during any episode
of RGT is the clicking and spinning of a
tape recorder, which Flowerman uses to
signal a transition between production and
the live show. This recorder sound seems
emblematic of Flowerman’s perspective on
his own show; it’s his ethos as an artist. The
medium and the methods are a means to an
end but also an end in themselves, a game,
tools, and Flowerman wields them fantasti-
cally.
“I hope that when people hear the
show they hear those layers of meaning,” he
said, “I try to find the places where the sto-
ries and music interact."
Of course, this is reflected in his show;
recently I have heard the occasional Soul-
crate (a Sioux Falls-based hip-hop group),
some selections from Motown, an old Brit-
ish folk artist with a tinny voice doing a
Sinatra cover, not to mention the kazoo so-
los and Johnny Cash spoofs provided by the
Rock Garden Tour Family Band.[2] This
is the sort of variety one finds only in the
lower numbers of the radio dial, down in
the college and public broadcasting stations.
When Flowerman originally came to
SDSU, he was in the theatre department,
and, although he still appreciates drama, he
said, “It’s not that I’m a snob about it, but
theatre productions just got long for me.
That’s why I love radio — you never know
what’s coming.”
“I don’t like to get bored with music,”
he added.
This always-hungry attitude towards
creativity helps him discover what works
and what doesn’t, what he likes and what
his audience likes. Flowerman has some
important strategic choices to make when
writing and producing.
“I’m never sure how much I should
make it actually about South Dakota,” he
said, but he can never completely abandon
the local interest stories because, “I’m most
interested in oddity."
For example, when a meat pack-
ing plant in Bridgewater, S.D., was closed
down because the company foreclosed on
the property, the managers abandoned not
only the property, but also the carcasses of
thousands of still-hanging cattle. The entire
town, as one might imagine, quickly began
to stink, and the community had to pull
together to fix the problem. Although such
stories might narrow the target audience of
The Rock Garden Tour, Flowerman feels
they also give his show the flavor and pace
he’s looking for.[3]
Things have been very exciting recent-
ly in the RGT studio. Flowerman has had a
couple chances to do live shows performing
his own music as well as audio drama and
commentary in Deadwood and Sioux Falls.
This September, SDPB gave him a
second weekend primetime slot — right
after Prairie Home Companion. Flower-
man talked about how much he appreciates
public radio, saying, “In my show, some mo-
ments sound imperfect, like all those pauses
or tangents during interviews — those
would probably get edited out for commer-
cial radio. That’s why NPR is great, because
you can keep that stuff."
Performing on public radio also gives
him a chance to experiment with and dis-
cover a wide range of music.
“I kind of used to be a music snob, but
I’m not anymore," he said. "Now, when I
approach any piece of art, I try not think
in terms of whether I like it or not. I try to
be vacant. So with the show, I really don’t
22
want to be too constricted by format. I love
NPR, because, say, if you’re on a classic rock
station, you have a list of certain songs by
certain bands that you have to stay within,
and it goes from 1972 to 1995. I hate that.”
Flowerman said being in the garden
variety radio show business, while fun, is
tiring.
“Doing any show is a grind, because
you’re always behind, but I love being in a
constant state of creation," he said.
"The Rock Garden Tour" is for people
who appreciate that constantly creative
mindset; people who appreciate growing
things, experimental art, good tunes and
new ideas. I'm thankful at least one artist
and one network exist and bring them to us.
The interview with Flowerman was
most enjoyable for me as an aspiring writer
and someone involved with a young publi-
cation in its own right — the magazine you
are holding in your hands has been extant
for approximately one year less than "The
Rock Garden Tour."
As I conducted the interview, and later
when I listened back to my recording, the
biggest thing I noticed was his obvious con-
sciousness and relationship with the “ON”
microphone. Flowerman treated our con-
versation like it was the artwork.
As I listened, I could hear him
modulating his voice and molding the con-
versation in mid-flow, stopping to pursue a
story-tangent or creating an opening in the
conversation for me develop an idea I had
touched on.
What I also noticed was how ineffec-
tive I usually was at returning Flowerman’s
volleys. This is simply the mark of an art-
ist still learning, but I often waste my
sounds — I pause for reflection when I
should elaborate on what I should mean;
my parlance is full of guttural “umms” and
“yaaaahs." Flowerman showed me how to
treat a recording (and, by extension, a com-
position) as both a mirror and a sculpture.
For him, his lifestyle and artwork
are inseparable. He told me, “In college,
it wasn’t class that I learned from, but the
experience of starting the things I started.
Now I savor my job, just because it’s pos-
sible for me to do it. It’s infiltrated my life
and become part of my business. But that
CONT. up, right

doesn’t happen unless you begin doing it
when you’re young so that it can grow into
a vibrant part of your life."
Within this context, Flowerman ex-
pressed excitement and congratulations for
the PLU. He’s been watching it since last
spring, when a Facebook friend sent him a
link.
He said, “Honestly I wish Sioux Falls
had something like it. A few of the publica-
tions that I see in this city are kind of stuck
in a scene. They won’t allow themselves to
innovate, because they’re so busy trying to
give people what they like. You guys are
trying to push deeper; you’re trying to find
another level. I like that."
I think the biggest thing I learned dur-
ing my interview with Flowerman was how
necessary it is to have fun. Our conversation
was so relaxed, so long — I could tell he was
an artist, because he was never afraid to ex-
plore new territory and was always looking
to make every experience beautiful.
His passion is sharing the stories of
South Dakota, and he can do this, because
he takes time to appreciate them; in the
warm grow-light of his story-writing and
microphone, the quirks and culture of our
region grow into beautiful tales.
For a young guy, Flowerman sure is
good at what he does. Maybe it’s because he
learns so many lessons from the rural com-
munities he comes from and then goes back
to for his stories.
I’ll leave you with one last piece of al-
ways helpful advice typical of what you’ll
hear on his show any Sunday evening:
“When life gives ya lemons, do what they
do in Lemon, South Dakota. Build a petri-
fied-wood park."
Keep it rural, and remember: don’t
overwater.
- state protects color, it ought to protect box
1, 2, 3 — To see what’s going on in
Flowerman’s garden, how he uses inter-
views with local color and to hear some
of his most recent favorite bands, visit
thepegleg.com.
SMALL . 7
In the essay I read as part of the source
material for this piece, Stephen Kinsella
speaks of theoretical mousetrap inventors.
Glad he brought it up. Put two mam-
mals out of their miseries tonight.
His example is this:
Two mousetrap inventors. One invents
and patents a mousetrap with an awesome
spring. The other invents and patents a
mousetrap with an awesome spring plus
non-stick coating.
Without cooperating, neither inventor
can use her patented inventions.
With a simple agreement that allows
each to use the other’s idea, they solve the
problem.
It’s called sharing.
[Sharing ideas is different than shar-
ing toys, because me holding a toy prevents
you from doing the same.]
Sharing ideas is swell, especially when
your grandmother shares a recipe she’s held
in her head for thirty-plus years.
- Two weeks prior, an Opponent had
Ought the state protect a secret
blend of spices? If yes, how complex does
it have to be before it receives protection?
Salt-and-pepper is surely too simple of a
combination.
If no, what ought the state do in re-
gards to the shape of a box?
The shape of a container is just as
recognizable and prone to attachment-via-
visual stimuli as the color of a box. If the
shape. If it doesn’t protect color (“That’s go-
ing too far”) what about a half-and-half,
red-and-blue box?
If not that, what about six stripes? A
million?
Wouldn’t the same protection over a
million pixels necessarily protect a million
stripes?
If the state should not protect a mil-
lion stripes, then why should it protect a
million pixels? 500? Four?
23
JUMP page two
People can develop systems of coop-
erating and creating systems of recognizing
physical, tangible property and its boundar-
ies, many times quickly and/or easily.
Deciding to avoid bumping bodies in
a congested mall or restaurant is simply not
difficult.
The legitimacy of state protection over
a person’s possessions, and necessarily her
body, however, is a different argument, one
that is at least rooted in distinct, definable
boundaries surrounding scarce, rivalous
physical items.
These items are part of a (so-far-
discovered) “cache,” or total amount. Each
time one is removed, the entire whole has
one less.
Ideas don’t work that way.
They enter brains without displacing a
single one out the other side.
-
A Logo Rights Supporter walks into a
psychologist’s office. He inquires about an
appointment and returns the following day.
Once inside, the doctor asks about
what is troubling him; after all, the Sup-
porter is in his late 20s, the prime of his life.
“I can’t find the difference,” the Sup-
porter says.
presented a flash card game to the Sup-
porter.
A series of 100 cards transitioned
from a solid red card, dividing, growing,
shrinking slowly card-by-card until the last
showed a Coca-Cola logo.
The Opponent asked the Supporter,
“Which cards ought to be protected, and
why?”
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