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DECEMBER 16, 2010 | ISSUE 406 | PERSON OF THE YEAR, YEAR IN REVIEW, WORSHIP GUIDE

26 40 48
Photo by Ann Marsden Photo by Hubert Bonnet Photo Courtesy of MarketingManchester.com

DIALOGUE 34 Showcase BACKTALK


8 A Word in Edgewise 35 Last Call at Gladius 54 Business Profile
9 A Wanda Wisdom Christmas Carol 35 Imperial Court of Minnesota 55 The Network
10 Letters Holds Fundraiser for Toys for Tots 56 LavenderMagazine.com Calendar
12 Queer As Folks 36 Calendar 59 Classifieds
37 Legendary Chi Chi LaRue Hosts 60 Community Connection
COVER FEATURE Annual Twin Cities Holiday Party 61 Dateland
14 Person of the Year: Daniel Boyer 38 Lavender Lens: The Atons 61 Cartoon: Trolín
Holiday Fund-raiser 63 Consider the Source
NEWS 39 Leather Life 64 Ms. Behavior
20 Big Gay News 66 Yellow Pages Advertiser Index
24 Behaving Bradley: Year in Review CUISINE
40 Off the Eaten Path
ARTS
26 On the Townsend: Year in Review LEISURE
30 On the Record 46 Lavender Lens: Lavender’s
Holiday First Thursday
BAR 48 Get Outta Town
32 Advertiser Guide 51 Interview with Lt. Everett Morrow ON THE COVER
32 Bartender Spotlight on Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Daniel Boyer. Photo by Sophia Hantzes

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4 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


LavenderMagazine.com 5
Volume 16, Issue 406 • Dec. 16–29, 2010

Editorial
Editor Emeritus Ethan Boatner 612-436-4670
Editorial Director Sede Vacante 612-436-4671
Editorial Associate George Holdgrafer 612-436-4672
Copy Editor Bridget Rocheford-Kearney
Podmaster Bradley Traynor 612-436-4669
Contributors Kolina Cicero, Meryl Cohn, Carla Continenza,
Julie Dafydd, Heidi Fellner, Terrance Griep, Chris Homan,
Ed Huyck, Justin Jones, Steve Lenius, Casey Merkwan, Jennifer
Parello, Todd Park, Amber Schadewald, Elizabeth Stiras,
Abigail Stoddard, John Townsend, Carla Waldemar

Advertising
Sales & Advertising Director Barry Leavitt 612-436-4690
Senior Account Executive Suzanne Farrell 612-436-4699
Account Executives Scott Belcher 612-436-4675
Heath Bryant 612-436-4697
Advertising Associate George Holdgrafer 612-436-4672
Sales & Advertising Traffic Coordinator
Linda Raines 612-436-4694
Classifieds Suzanne Farrell 612-436-4699
National Sales Representative Rivendell Media
212-242-6863

Creative
Creative Director Hubert Bonnet 612-436-4678
Creative Assistant Mike Hnida 612-436-4679
Photographer Sophia Hantzes
Cartoonist Rodro
Lavender Studios Hubert Bonnet, Mike Hnida

Administration
Publisher Lavender Media, Inc.
President & CEO Stephen Rocheford 612-436-4665
Vice President & CC Pierre Tardif 612-436-4666
Chief Financial Officer Carolyn Lima 612-436-4664
Administrative Assistant Austin Lindstrom 612-436-
4661
Founders George Holdgrafer, Stephen Rocheford
Inspiration Steven W. Anderson (1954-1994), Timothy J. Lee
(1968-2002), Russell Berg (1957-2005), Kathryn Rocheford
(1914-2006), Jonathan Halverson (1974-2010)
Send all your calendar events to Linda@lavendermagazine.com

Letters are subject to editing for grammar, punctuation, space,


and libel. They should be no more than 300 words. Letters
must include name, address, and phone number. Unsigned let-
ters will not be published. Priority will be given to letters that
refer to material previously published in Lavender Magazine.
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6 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


WRITERS
IN THIS ISSUE

Mer yl Cohn

Julie Dafydd

Heidi Fellner

Ed Huyck

Jennifer Parello

John Towsend

Bradley Traynor

Carla Waldemar

LavenderMagazine.com 7
DIALOGUE Š A WORD IN EDGEWISE

The Truth According to…Whom?”


“And, ultimately, same sex-marriage is not true.” The poetess, thus circumscribed, was both an invalid and invalid.
That “not true” has been nagging at my mind I also read that Mary Dyer was hanged in Boston in 1660 for re-
since I quoted it in my last column. Brian Brown fusing to acknowledge the “true” religion. She held Quaker beliefs,
of the antigay National Organzation of Marriage which the Puritans, who themselves had fled religious intolerance in
(NOM) uttered those words. England, could not tolerate.
Nothing is “not true” about two people wanting to Brown believes: “If gay marriage is allowed, then the state is es-
join together as a family. sentially saying that my views on marriage…are equivalent to dis-
Does Brown consider the marriages of little girls crimination….”
sold by their impoverished parents to older men to be “true”? Similarly, the Puritans thought: “If there be Quakers, Congrega-
Probably not, even in Brown’s cosmology, but if pushed, his an- tionalists are devalued.”
swer summarily would be reduced to this tautology: “My definition What the Puritans—like Brown, like 19th-Century publishers,
of marriage is true.” like many others—used as a strategy was preemptive devaluation.
Over the last couple of weeks, in my reading, I’ve run across sev- Invalidate the seekers, render them nugatory, and fortify the power
eral historical examples of the same reasoning used by the wealthy of your own beliefs at their diminished expense.
and powerful to minimize and subdue others. It is imperative to examine the words of the world’s Browns. In-
Lyndall Gordon’s Lives Like Loaded Guns, which explores the dysfunc- validation is a psychological and sociological “sending to Coventry”
tional, litigious family of poet Emily Dickinson (1830-89), is one example. that can be used to deny the existing rights enjoyed by other Ameri-
In Letters to a Young Lady, Reverend John Bennett admonished cans. It opens the door to legislation that would withdraw rights their
Dickinson: “A passion for poetry is dangerous for a woman.” target already possesses.
Dickinson’s friend, publisher Josiah Gilbert Holland, posited, “The In knowledge is strength—and a warning that our arguments
genuine classics of every language [are] the work of men and not of wom- must be crafted and executed as carefully as Brown’s already are.
en….women could not create ‘the permanent treasures of literature.’” E.B. BOATNER

8 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


DIALOGUE Š

A Wanda Wisdom Christmas Carol


Just as Santa straps the last sack of toys story of a big-haired Wanda Wisdom who
onto his sleigh, your favorite podcasting drag has gotten just a bit too big for her polyester
queen will be delivering an entirely different britches. After a rude wake-up call from her
gift to the world. During the week of Christ- much-loved, albeit completely crazy, Aunt
mas, Wanda Wisdom and her hardworking, Carol, Wanda is whisked away on a journey
creative posse of off-kilter elves will bring A of self-reflection—and, let’s hope, self-dis-
Wanda Wisdom Christmas Carol to friends covery and ultimately redemption.
and fans across the globe. You may think you know the Dickens
This all-new film tells Dickens’s classic, classic like the back of your hand, but we
timeworn tale of personal redemption and guarantee you never have heard it quite told
the Christmas spirit with a sassy, snarky in such a delicious, wack-a-doodle way.
send-up only Wanda Wisdom can deliver. Hold on to your holiday hats, and prepare
Celebrity guest stars include Madge Wein- Doesn’t Wanda have the cutest elves? for a thrilling ride through time and space
stein of YeastRadio.com; Dame Vesta Bules with America’s favorite drag queen. Simply
all the way from London; and the delicious da and her merry band of players promise click on <http://wandawisdom.com> during
Diva Doug Melroe from the Firm. to deliver a hugely-hilarious, off-the-rocker the week of Christmas to enjoy a whole new
Filmed throughout Minneapolis by tal- version of your favorite Christmas classic. holiday tradition with friends and family.
ented local director Adam Carmichael, Wan- A Wanda Wisdom Christmas Carol is the

LavenderMagazine.com 9
DIALOGUE Š LETTERS

Open Letter to the Minnesota GLBT Community but what really got me was its gets or who gives it’s love…
Next year, the Republicans will have a majority in message: equality in love for it’s love)
the gay community. I found the Friends say I’ve made all
both the Minnesota House and Senate. Unless the Log lyrics on the artist’s website wrong choices
Cabin Republicans have some legislative allies that are (see below). Tell me how love has its rules
also willing to stand up against their base, we should I can’t think of anything Come from church with
more relevant for our communi- righteous choices
expect that two years from now, a state constitutional
ty right now. The music video is And no patience for different
amendment prohibiting same-sex marriage and/or its beginning to get coverage even rules
legal equivalent(s) will be on the ballot. on mainstream media like USA What about how they are
Today: <http://content.usato choosing
day.com/topics/article/Cul To ignore the golden rule?
to start a campaign now with ture/Computers+and+Internet/ My heart knows it’s truth that
a focus that moves us all in a YouTube/09LL0u8fZ79st/1>. it’s choosing. Abide by them
systematic yet comprehensive See this link: <http:// and I play the fool
direction. I also challenge www.youtube.com/
people to pledge to go back to watch?v=D60PROfWm-g>. CHORUS
their hometowns, and help out. I thought your readers
No Minnesotan should be able would really like it. I shared it BRIDGE
to go to the polls in 2012 saying with all my friends, and they End this stupid game
they never received a phone all did. We are all the same
call, a knock on the door, or a IGNACIO DARNAUDE We all need love
piece of literature encouraging
them to vote no on the amend- Love is Love CHORUS
ment. by Jay Jacobson
From Pipestone to Grand © Jay Jacobson
Letters are subject to editing for gram-
Marais, from Hallock to Caledo- Mother wants me to be happy mar, punctuation, space, and libel. They
nia, we need to identify voters, Find someone nice and be loved should be no more than 300 words.
Historically, constitutional and get them to the polls—the Father says that to be happy Letters must include name, address,
and phone number. Unsigned letters
amendments have been taken basic ABCs of a successful cam- Find someone nice you can love will not be published. Priority will be
up in the second session of the paign. Unfortunately, there will I did as they said and I’m happy given to letters that refer to mate-
be competition for volunteers Why are they so sad I found rial previously published in Lavender
Legislature. I hope OutFront Magazine. Submit letters to Lavender
Minnesota will not wait until from the US Senate and Presi- love? Magazine, Letters to the Editor, 3715
the spring of 2012 to organize dential races. We have a steep I thought they would be oh so Chicago Avenue South, Minneapolis,
MN 55407; or e-mail <editor@laven
a campaign. We either come to- hill to climb, and the clock is happy dermagazine.com>.
gether to persuade voters now, ticking. We need to start now! But they’re blinded by lies from
or we might as well just throw PAUL FRANCIS FLEEGE above
in the towel. I believe we will
need two years to door-knock/ Amazing Song and CHORUS
phone-bank the entire state of Music Video for the Gay I am in love and he loves me
registered voters, along with Community Together we both are happy
an enormous amount of money. I’ve never written to you How can you ever disagree
The National Organization for before, but I thought it was time True love has no boundaries
Marriage (NOM) has unlimited I did. I love your site—this is Love is love (no matter who
financial resources to lie about why I want to share with you an gets or who gives it). Love is
our lives. But our strengths are amazing song and music video, love (no matter who gets or
our diversity and allies. which is buzzing right now. The who gives it). Love is love (no
The LGBT community needs song is “Love is Love,” by Jay matter who gets or who gives
to rise up, and tell OutFront Jacobson. It’s really fantastic, it). Love is love (no matter who

10 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


DIALOGUE X QUEER AS FOLKS
BY GEORGE HOLDGRAFER

Minnesota Freedom Band Marches in Holidazzle Parade


CONTINUING A longtime tradition, the Minnesota Freedom Band
has been marching in the Holidazzle Parade on Nicollet Mall in
Minneapolis again this year. Now in its 19th year, the event got
Æ under way November 26, and continues through December 19.

Photo by Sophia Hantzes

Minnesota AIDS Project Observes World AIDS Day


THE MINNESOTA AIDS Project (MAP) observed World AIDS
Day on December 1 at the Mall of America Best Buy Rotunda
in Bloomington. Jason Matheson hosted the gathering, which
Æ featured addresses by MAP Executive Director Lorraine Teel and
others on HIV prevention.

(From left) Minnesota AIDS Project Board Chair Patrick Troska; Mr. Minnesota, Toany Le; Minnesota AIDS Project Executive
Director Lorraine Teel; host Jason Matheson; PrideAlive volunteer Bobbi Gass. Photo by Sophia Hantzes

12 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


LavenderMagazine.com 13
COVER FEATURE Š

DANIEL
BOYER PERSON OF THE YEAR

aniel Lee (Danny) Boyer embodied everything one could wish for in a “Person of the

D
Year.” He passionately and generously was committed to his work and his community.
His unexpected passing on June 15 at the age of 56 left a void in the lives of his family,
coworkers, and friends—a circle, it seems, that included everyone who met him.
Boyer worked for 10 years as a financial adviser for Ameriprise Financial, all the while
volunteering for myriad local organizations. People today still speak fondly of his open
loving spirit, enduring selflessness, and infectious laugh.
While Boyer’s life exemplifies the “It Gets Better” promise, it was not always easy for
a gay youth and man, the third of four siblings, growing up in a small Michigan town.
In a 2008 Lavender interview, Boyer told writer Terrance Griep, “I didn’t come out till I was in my early 30s.
Having been raised Catholic, and the culture I grew up in, the environment was not supportive of anyone gay or
lesbian….In fact, it would have been dangerous to come out when I was in high school….I feared rejection from
friends, from family, from society. I feared the idea of not being in a marriage and having children….Coming out
was like a rebirth for me. It was my renaissance. It was truly amazing.”
Boyer’s sister, Mary Anne Putt, recalls, “Though I had suspected my brother was gay, hearing it was a great
shock. My Dad had already died, which was better, as I really don’t know how he would have taken this news. My
sister and I traveled to [Danny’s] home in Lansing within days of his telling us. I remember how calm he was, as

14 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


Photo by Sophia Hantzes

"HE WAS THE MODEL OF THE DIFFERENCE THAT A SINGLE PERSON CAN MAKE. I
USED TO SAY TO DANIEL THAT IF WE COULD MAKE 100 CLONES OF HIM, WE COULD
TRANSFORM THE COMMUNITY OVERNIGHT."
he fielded all our questions. he shared, “My Mom died this past March. My Mom had dementia
“I shed many tears during that meeting, as I feared my brother 2 Alzheimer’s disease for the last 10 years of her life. But when she
and
would forever be rejected and belittled in society. Coming out in the was first diagnosed, she took it upon herself to write a letter to each
’80s was a difficult time. But I gained such understanding of what it of her children to open after she died. In my letter, she talked about
means to be gay. I asked him, ‘Can you change it. Is it a choice?’ And how she respected the courage I’ve had in my life, being an out gay
he said, ‘No, why would I choose to never be able to have a traditional man. I can’t even express, truly, how powerful a gift that is for me!”
family with children? Why would I choose to be ridiculed by society?’ Susan Cogger, PFund Director of Development and
“He went on to live his life in such a dignified manner. So many Communications, describes Boyer’s bond with his mother: “Daniel
of his past, present, and future friends came to respect him for the had her come live with him, and brought her to events, or chose
person he was. The fact that he was a gay man did not define him. not to go if she couldn’t make it. Daniel adored his mother, and was
How he lived his life was what defined him from that point on.” committed to her—the true measure of his humanity, his warmth,
Laura Smidzik, former Executive Director of Rainbow Families and the caring human being he was.”
says, “I think the slogan ‘works well with others’ must have been From the very first, Putt remembers, “The most important thing
created for him. Daniel was so genuine, and his values mirrored his to Danny was family. No matter where he lived, he would always
actions. If you were an organization that received financial support make the extra effort to attend all the family celebrations. He
from Daniel, then you probably benefited from some of his volunteer especially enjoyed his four nephews [two from each sister], and took
hours as well. great pains to send [each one] just the right book, as he so enjoyed
“Once, when he received an award, I was to introduce the next reading himself.
winner. Daniel made such a gracious acceptance speech. He spoke of “He continued with those same traditions with the arrival of his
his mother, and how influential she was in his life. He was so sincere, grandniece, Anna [Tews], and grandnephew, Dain [Putt]. When we
happy, and genuine as he spoke. He struck such a deep chord in me first entered his office in Minneapolis after [his death], there were
that as soon as I got the microphone, I said, ‘Daniel, if my sons end up only two pictures on his desk: Anna and Dain. He had so much love
being even close to the man you are today, I will be so proud.’” to give others, and lived his life doing just that. He would have so
Boyer’s mother, Margaret, was always proud of him, and in 2008, loved to be able to have his own children.”

LavenderMagazine.com 15
COVER FEATURE Š

"THAT LAST CONVERSATION TOUCHED ON EVERYTHING THAT WAS IMPORTANT TO


DANIEL: FRIENDS, FAMILY, VOLUNTEERISM, AND FOOD. WHAT A RICH LIFE!”

Open Arms of Minnesota Executive Director Kevin Winge notes, model of the difference that a single person can make. I used to say
“The last time I saw Daniel was at a fundraiser for Open Arms a few to Daniel that if we could make 100 clones of him, we could transform
weeks before he died. Earlier that day, he had brought his young the community overnight.”
cousin to see our new building. As he was leaving that night, he Boyer’s sister, Jane Niedzielski, recollects, “Dan and I were very
said how excited he was for her to see some of the projects he was close growing up—something of kindred spirits, and both small for
involved with. We made plans to have lunch at a new restaurant. our age. Sometimes, we were mistaken for twins. As his ‘twin,’ I can tell
That last conversation touched on everything that was important to you he was the better half—gentler, more thoughtful, more sensitive.
Daniel: friends, family, volunteerism, and food. What a rich life!” “When we were about 9 or 10, the parochial grade school we
Tim Marburger, Director of Fundraising and Special Events attended went on half-day sessions. Consequently, we had to empty
at The Aliveness Project, observes, “He was always so kind, and out our desks, and carry everything home every day. Dan would
remembered people in many different ways. At the birth of a child, frequently carry both of our book bags, even though I was older, and
Daniel had a tree planted in their honor. Daniel had a great love of we were both about the same size. That’s the essence of Dan, from
food and fellowship. His smile and distinctive laugh enriched us all. childhood on into adulthood. He gave a lot with a truly open heart,
Echoing Winge, Marburger adds, “He never did anything halfway. and never expected much in return.
Daniel was everywhere in the community. If you didn’t see him at a David Muschenheim, Boyer’s close friend and coworker, also with
fundraiser for The Aliveness Project, or Open Arms, or the Human Ameriprise Financial, reveals, “Daniel had a lot of passions. Daniel
Rights Campaign, you would run into him at a Gay Men’s Chorus loved all kinds of food. His recipes were one of his prized possessions.
concert. And when he wasn’t supporting virtually every LGBT Shortly after he moved to the Twin Cities, someone broke into
organization in town, he was out at a venue listening to music, or his home, and took his recipe box. He was heartsick. Decades of
trying a new ethnic restaurant. accumulated recipes were stolen. He spent years rebuilding the
“It seemed that everyone Daniel met became a friend. He was the collection, hunting down friends who may have had copies of

1 Daniel Boyer and his Mom, Margaret • 2 Daniel Boyer's sisters, Jane Niedzielski and Mary Anne Putt, with his cat, Meow • 3 Daniel Boyer with his grandniece, Anna Tews.
Photos Courtesy of Daniel Boyer's Family

1 2

16 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


LavenderMagazine.com 17
COVER FEATURE Š

“DANIEL LOVED HIS LIFE, AND HE MADE SURE THAT HE TOLD THE PEOPLE HE LOVED AND
RESPECTED WHY HE LOVED AND RESPECTED THEM—A RARE THING IN THIS WORLD."
his favorites, and working with family to get back what he had lost.” over the board, but universally soulful. His music collection was as
In the future, Muschenheim is planning to publish a book of important to him as his recipes.
Boyer’s recipes. “Everyone knows that Daniel was charitably inclined, but it
Muschenheim points out, “Daniel was far and away the most was only after he passed, and I was helping Daniel’s family [with
charitable person I have ever known. He was able to tie his love his papers] that I realized how deep this ran. I found receipts and
of food to his good works by cooking for a group of men in one of solicitations from nearly a hundred charities, and a box containing
The Aliveness Project homes on a monthly basis. He knew that they receipts from many more. There were perhaps a dozen charities
regularly were fed the easy staples that most people think of when that Daniel was involved with directly over the years, but there were
bringing food. Daniel would inquire about what they liked, and put dozens more that he supported financially.
together a whole meal around a specific cuisine or theme. It was a “Daniel loved his life, and he made sure that he told the people he
priority for him, and I think the people he served knew that.” loved and respected why he loved and respected them—a rare thing
Clare House Events Manager/Community Outreach Lee Haugee in this world. His sincere gratitude manifested itself in every aspect
explains, “In 2004, Daniel purchased an item from our Friends Dining of his life, and resulted in his success in business and as a leader in
with Friends online auction. He immediately signed up to donate his community.”
dinner once a month at one of our care homes, Agape Dos. For seven Comments like the following are the norm: Loretta Worthington of
years, our four residents looked forward to his night. The food was Rainbow Health Initiatives remarks, “Daniel was supportive, serious,
wonderful, but more importantly, Daniel became a friend, too.” funny, and charming.”; Smidzik states, “Daniel had an unlimited
Muschenheim relates, “Another facet of Daniel was his love ability to give.”
of music. Daniel did not own a television. His entertainment was Putt sums up her brother this way: “Danny grew up in the shadow
primarily music. He saw live music at least a half-dozen times a of two older sisters. But today, those two sisters are so proud to stand
month, and knew every venue in town, and was always on the prowl in the shadow of the fine man our brother had become.”
for great live performances. He had excellent eclectic taste. It was all E.B. BOATNER

Photos by Sophia Hantzes

18 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


LavenderMagazine.com 19
BIG GAY NEWS

NATIONAL
IOWA REPUBLICAN HOPES
TO BE FIRST OPENLY GAY
PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE
Radio Iowa reports that retired politi-
cal consultant Fred Karger hopes to be
the first openly gay presidential candi-
date. And he’s a Republican. He recently
spent $100,000 to run a 90-second com-
mercial about himself on FOX News in
seven different Iowa media markets. He
told a news conference in Des Moines
in November that he wants to emulate
candidates like Shirley Chisholm. Karger
stated, “I’m a fighter. I’m fighting for mil-
lions of people around this country who
are members of my community and so
many others who are deemed second-
class citizens.” Calling himself an inde-
pendent Republican, Karger noted, “I
think the Republican Party has moved so
far away from mainstream America that
it is losing tremendous support—people
like me.”

ILLINOIS-LEGISLATURE-
APPROVED CIVIL-UNION
MEASURE HEADS TO GOVERNOR
According to the Chicago Tribune,
same-sex civil-union legislation passed
the Illinois Legislature. It now heads to
Governor Pat Quinn, who’s expected to
sign the measure into law. The Illinois
Senate voted 32-24 in favor, following
House approval. Under the legislation,
same-sex couples would gain several
state-level marriage benefits.

VIRGINIA LAWMAKER
CLAIMS PAT-DOWNS PART OF
“HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA”
WTOP reports that Virginia Repub-
lican lawmaker Eugene Delgaudio sent
a controversial e-mail to members of a
conservative nonprofit, calling the Trans-
portation Security Administration (TSA)
nondiscrimination hiring policy a “Gay
Bill of Special Rights.” Delgaudio said,
“That means the next TSA official that
gives you an enhanced pat-down could be
a practicing homosexual secretly getting
pleasure from your submission.” He also
wrote to donors that Congress’s “homo-
sexual agenda” will lead to “men hand-in-

20 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


LavenderMagazine.com 21
hand skipping down to adoption centers
to ‘pick out’ a little boy for themselves.”

NEW JERSEY ATTORNEY


GENERAL SAYS SCHOOL BOARD
ALLOWED GAY-STUDENT
BULLYING
According to NBC, New Jersey Attor-
ney General Paula Dow has announced
that findings from a state investigation
show the Emerson School Board was
responsible for allowing antigay bullying
against one student to persist for at least
six years. The findings cite numerous
complaints by parents to school officials,
but add that the school did little to follow
up with parents of the children accused of
bullying. Eventually, the student’s parents
took him out of public school, and home-
schooled him. The findings are only pre-
liminary, and the case now moves to con-
ciliation. If that process fails, it would go to
an administrative law judge for trial.

WORLD
World

KENYA’S PRIME MINISTER


THREATENS GAY ARRESTS
The BBC reports that Kenyan Prime
Minister Raila Odinga made comments
indicating his government would arrest
gays and lesbians caught engaging in
homosexual acts. He stated, “We will not
tolerate such behaviors in the country.
The constitution is very clear on this is-
sue, and men or women found engaging
in homosexuality will not be spared.”
After criticism from gay-rights activists,
Odinga explained he only was saying that
the country’s constitution bans same-sex
marriages. In Kenya, homosexuality is
punishable by up to 14 years in prison.

HUNDREDS MARCH IN DELHI’S


GAY PARADE
According to the Associated Press,
hundreds sang, danced, and marched
their way through the Indian city of
Delhi in late November in its third Gay
Pride parade. GLBT and allied marchers
carried flags and signs along the parade
route. Sunil Gupta told reporters, “It’s a
celebration of the fact that the communi-
ty is here, and it’s not a kind of complain-
ing parade. I guess underneath it, there
is a kind of quiet demand for rights in
various areas, but today is really just
about a celebration.” WRITTEN & COMPILED
BY BRADLEY TRAYNOR

22 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


LavenderMagazine.com 23
NEWS Š BEHAVING BRADLEY BY BRADLEY TRAYNOR


YEAR IN REVIEW
Top 10 News Stories of 2010
From the tragedy of teen suicides to the Campaign to make an in-kind contribution to also found that the state violated Gill’s equal-
victory of marriage legislation, here is a look proequality candidates, a number of people protection rights by denying him the right to
at 10 of the top GLBT news headlines for called for a boycott of Target stores. adopt his foster child.
2010, as reported on BigGayNews.com.
✓ ANTIGAY BULLYING, TEEN ✓ THREE IOWA JUSTICES REMOVED
✓ FEDERAL COURT DECLARES SUICIDES, AND IT GETS BETTER AFTER GAY MARRIAGE RULING
CALIFORNIA’S PROPOSITION 8 The issue of antigay bullying made head- Iowans voted in November to remove
UNCONSTITUTIONAL lines this year, following a rash of highly- three of the state’s Supreme Court justices,
In August, US District Judge Vaughn publicized teen suicides. The resulting pub- following the court’s ruling last year that le-
Walker overturned California’s Proposition lic outcry led to the creation of the It Gets galized same-sex marriage in the state. The
8, which banned same-sex marriage in the Better Campaign. More than 5,000 people, vote marks the first time Iowa voters have
state. In his 136-page ruling, he held that the including celebrities and even President Ba- removed a Supreme Court justice since the
marriage ban violates the US Constitution’s rack Obama, participated in the campaign by current system began in 1962. Gay marriage
guarantees of equal protection and due pro- filming video clips on YouTube.
opponents spent hundreds of thousands of
cess. Walker wrote, “Proposition 8 fails to ad-
dollars on the campaign.
vance any rational basis in singling out gay ✓ LAVENDER OUTS ANTIGAY PASTOR
men and lesbians for denial of a marriage The Lutheran pastor who suggested
✓ GAY MARRIAGE LAW TAKES
license.” Supporters of the ban immediately a 2009 tornado strike on a Minneapolis EFFECT IN MEXICO CITY
filed an appeal with the 9th US Circuit Court church was God’s judgment because of its
Mexico City’s same-sex marriage law,
of Appeals. position on same-sex clergy was himself a
passed by the City Assembly in December
member of a confidential support group for
✓ FEDERAL JUDGE STRIKES DOWN 2009, took effect in the country’s capital city
men with “homosexual desires.” A Laven-
DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL der Magazine cover story in June by writer in March. The legislation allows gays and
US District Judge Virginia Phillips set John Townsend alleged that Reverend Tom lesbians to marry and adopt children. Mexi-
forth a decision in September that the mili- Brock, Pastor of Hope Lutheran Church in co City becomes one of the first jurisdictions
tary’s ban on openly gay troops was uncon- Minneapolis, regularly attended Faith in in Latin American fully to recognize same-
stitutional. She ruled that the ban violates Action, a Catholic support group for people sex marriage.
the US Constitution’s First and Fifth Amend- attracted to members of the same sex. After
ment rights of gays and lesbians. Log Cabin a brief leave, he returned to his job at Hope, ✓ PRESIDENT SIGNS ARGENTINA’S
Republicans brought the case that led to telling the Associated Press he’s not gay, GAY-MARRIAGE LAW
the ruling. She issued a stay that effectively and never has had sex. Argentina’s President, Cristina Fernandez,
ended the ban. The stay ultimately was lifted signed landmark legislation in July making
pending an upcoming appeal. ✓ FLORIDA APPEALS COURT the country the first in Latin America to legal-
UPHOLDS GAY ADOPTION ize same-sex marriage. She said at a signing
✓ TARGET CONTRIBUTION CAUSES Florida’s state ban on adoptions by gas ceremony, “Today, we are a society that is a
CONTROVERSY and lesbians was struck down this year. Fol- little more egalitarian than last week.”
Target made headlines following a con- lowing the ruling, Florida Governor Charlie
troversial $150,000 contribution to MN Crist said the state will stop enforcing the ✓ ILLINOIS-LEGISLATURE-
Forward, a group that supported antigay Re- law. Frank Martin Gill, an openly gay foster APPROVED CIVIL-UNION
publican Minnesota gubernatorial candidate parent who was denied an adoption applica- MEASURE HEADS TO GOVERNOR
Tom Emmer. Target CEO Gregg Steinhafel tion because he was gay, originally brought Same-sex civil union legislation passed
ultimately apologized in an e-mail for offend- the case. Circuit Judge Cindy Lederman the Illinois Legislature in December. Under
ing some of the corporation’s employees over concluded that gays and lesbians were equal the measure, which is scheduled to take ef-
the contribution. Following Target’s refusal to heterosexual parents in their ability to fect in July 2011, same-sex couples would
to honor a request from the Human Rights provide healthy child rearing. The court gain several state-level marriage benefits.

24 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


LavenderMagazine.com 25
ARTS Š ON THE TOWNSEND BY JOHN TOWNSEND

(Clockwise from left) Loring Yenor. Photo Courtesy of Cardinal Theatricals • Black Pearl Sings. Photo by Ann Marsden • Women's Minyan. Photo by Sarah Whiting
2010
YEAR
IN REVIEW
Best Productions Theater Event of the Year (Large
1. M. Butterfly, Guthrie Theater House)
2. A Streetcar Named Desire, The Great Game: Afghanistan,
Guthrie Theater London’s Tricycle Theatre at
3. Dancing at Lughnasa, Torch Guthrie Theater
Theater
Theater Event of the Year (Small
4. The Homecoming, Gremlin Theatre House)
5. Evita, Theatre Latte Da Fresh Five Series, 20% Theatre Com-
6. A Few Good Men, Urban Samurai pany Twin Cities at Bedlam Theatre
Productions
7. Eclipsed, Frank Theatre Theater Artist of the Year
8. The Master Butchers Singing Peter Rothstein, Director,
Club, Guthrie Theater M. Butterfly, Guthrie Theater, &
9. Traveling Light, Theatre Pro Evita, Theatre Latte Da
Rata
Best Revival
10. (3-way tie)
Fierce Love: Stories of Black Gay
The Music Lovers, Workhaus Life, Unity Black Pride
Collective
Rent, Cardinal Theatricals Best Ensemble
Women’s Minyan, Minnesota Robin Hood, Children’s Theatre
Jewish Theatre Company

26 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


LavenderMagazine.com 27
(Clockwise from left) The Mystery of Irma Vep. Photo by Ann Marsden • Dancing at Lughnasa. Photo by Ann Marsden • Michele!. Photo by Jesse Doughty • Bent. Photo Courtesy of
Candid Theater and Matthew Garrison

Oldest Story in the World, Theatre


Best Performance Art Best Supporting Actor Best Sound Designer Novi Most
(tie) David Coral, My Name is Asher Lev, Dixie Treichel, Medea: A Noh Play Nora Montanez, Expecting Isabel,
Persephone: Reign of Fire, Infiamatti Minnesota Jewish Theatre & 10 Virgins; Theatre Unbound, Theatre Unbound, & Strike/Slip,
Fire Circus The Keys Experiment, Red Eye Nimbus Theatre
The Polish Pugilist, Catterton Best Supporting Actress Theater & Artery 2010 Dario Tangelson, The House of the
Productions Stacia Rice, Queens of Burlesque, Spirits, Mixed Blood Theatre
History Theatre, & A Streetcar Best Playwriting Kinaundre Lee & Lorin Yenor, Rent,
Best Director Named Desire, Guthrie Theater Kevin Anthony Kautzman, Iris, Red Cardinal Theatricals
Harry Waters Jr., Fierce Love: Eye Theater & Artery 2010 Stephen Yoakam & Michelle
Stories of Black Gay Life, Unity Best Solo Performance Barber, Who’s Afraid of Virginia
Black Pride Sheila Regan, The Keys Experiment, Best Shows from Out of Town Woolf?, Jungle Theater
Red Eye Theater & Artery 2010 Hotel Modern’s The Great War, Joshua James Campbell, The Glass
Best Choreographer Walker Art Center Menagerie, Jungle Theater
Michael Matthew Ferrell, Evita, Funniest Performance & Best August Osage County National Tour, Nathan Cristopher, The Music
Theatre Latte Da Comedy Revue Ordway Center for the Performing Lovers, Workhaus Collective
Janet Paone as Marcus Bachmann Arts John Lilleberg & Melanie
Best Actor (Musical) & Michele! The Musical Bachu- Wehrmacher, Iris, Red Eye Theater
Eric Webster, City of Angels, manntary, FUNauthorized Best Music Director & Artery 2010
Bloomington Civic Theatre Productions Denise Prosek, Evita, Theatre Patrick Scully, Thrive!: 25 Years of
Latte Da Living Positive, Patrick’s Cabaret
Best Actor (Nonmusical) Best Crossgender Performance Ricardo Antonio Chavira & Brian
Andrew Long, M. Butterfly, Guthrie Randy Reyes, M. Butterfly, Guthrie Best Music Score Keane, A Streetcar Named Desire,
Theater Theater Eric Mayson, Iris, Red Eye Theater Guthrie Theater
& Artery 2010 Joseph Scrimshaw, Dudley: Rigged
Best Actress (Musical) Best Androgynous Performance for Laughter, History Theatre
(tie) Julie Ann Nevill, 10 Virgins, Notable Original Musical Collabo- Peter Hansen & Sarah Agnew,
Crystal Fox, Black Pearl Sings, Theatre Unbound rations Dollhouse, Guthrie Theater
Penumbra Theatre Madame Majesta’s Miracle Jeremey Catterton, The Polish
Zoe Pappas, Evita, Theatre Latte Best Set Designer Medicine Show, Interact Center Pugilist
Da C. Lance Brockman, Black Pearl 515, Flower Shop Project Ensemble, Yellow Face, Mu
Sings, Penumbra Theatre Performing Arts
Best Actress (Nonmusical) Extraordinary Performances Sherwin Resurreccion, Cowboy
Gretchen Egolf, A Streetcar Named Best Costume Designer Peter Beard & James Napoleon Versus Samurai, Mu Performing
Desire, Guthrie Theater Matthew J. LeFebvre, The Mystery Stone, Bent, Candid Theater Arts
of Irma Vep, Jungle Theater Erik Hoover & Billy Mullaney, The

28 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


LavenderMagazine.com 29
ARTS Š ON THE RECORD BY ED HUYCK

Body Talk
ROBYN
Robyn’s 2010 trilogy ends with a sort-of compilation of the past mixed in
with the new. The set, which includes five songs each from Parts 1 and 2,
tosses in five brand-new tracks. Unless you need the complete set, this one
will serve you fine. The former teen pop star has hit the charts hard in 2010,
being a real highlight in a year dominated by music that has been terribly
tacky, utterly bland, or both—hey, Ke$sha, enjoying your 15 minutes? The
latest single, “Indestructible,” continues Robyn’s hot streak for the year.
It shows a bit more pop than the hard-edged disco she made earlier in the
year. That sense of pop continues through the new tunes, which may give us
an idea of where she’s going in the future. For the past, all the joys from the
early releases are here, from “Fembot” to “U Should Know Better” to “Don’t
Fucking Tell Me What to Do.”

Gold: Greatest Hits The Ladykiller My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy


ABBA CEE LO GREEN KANYE WEST
Confession time: The first album I ever bought Cee Lo Green’s “Fuck You” was the viral single The ego has landed for album number five. Af-
was a copy of ABBA’s Greatest Hits, Vol. 2. May- of the summer—and an absolutely brilliant use ter a couple of years of publicity and contro-
be I was sending signals to myself, but while of obscenity. The clean version, “Forget You,” versy—mainly fake controversy, but, hey, TMZ
my elementary school classmates were digging just doesn’t cut it, because so much of the and the like need something to talk about—
to Kiss Dynasty, I was at home rocking out to song’s pleasure comes from having a tune that West returns to what he actually does best:
“Knowing Me, Knowing You.” Now, 30-some sounds like it could have been drawn from the making excellent music. While overstuffed,
years later, here we have another packaging 1960s, fueled by such a bald, direct, and not- My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy is an able
of pretty much those same songs. The glossy ready-for-the-airwaves lyric. The Ladykiller is follow-up to the sterling 808s and Heartbreak.
Swedish pop is intact, and if you have any of full of catchy songs and endearing performanc- In place of that album’s spare style and confes-
the past versions of the album, you know the es that—while not as brilliant as the leadoff sional tone, we get a set loaded with guest
deal. The appeal of this one is a bonus DVD of track—are certainly an endearing antidote to stars; familiar samples deployed in unique ways
the band’s pre-MTV promotional videos. It not the zero-personality pop dominating the charts (including King Crimson, something I never
only provides another showcase for the music, right now. On the album, Green reaches back expected to say about a West album); and lots
but also gives us all a scary insight into 1970s across decades of soul and R&B music for mu- of talking from West himself. The main topic,
European fashion. Really, the disco-cum-Scan- sical backdrops, evoking the synth-heavy 1980s not surprisingly, is our hero. A bevy of super-
dinavian sweaters worn in the “Waterloo” video one minute, and then reaching for ’70s-style guests—name another album with Jay Z, Elton
belong in a bad-taste museum. That aside, if strings the next. Through it all, he showcases John, and Bon Iver—give us a break, though
you don’t need to see what the ABBA folks an able voice that flexes easily along the higher never for too long. At times, the gloss becomes
looked like three decades years ago, just keep register, giving the album just an extra touch of too much, but it usually is leavened by a turn of
your current Gold. timelessness and class. phrase or a particularly clever sample.

30 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


LavenderMagazine.com 31
BAR Š ADVERTISER GUIDE

BARTENDER SPOTLIGHT

ve.
3rd A
E
.N
ve
lA
W n tra Hennepin Ave. Larpenteur Ave. Larpenteur Ave.
as Ce

Dale St.
hin
04 gto

Snelling Ave.
02 1s
n A t St
. .N
ve. Ave ve
. Minnehaha Ave.
1st A nepin 05 . Univ
ersit
Hen 03
15 ve. y Av
e.
th tA t.
S t. olle University Ave. hS
01 Nic 06 7t
26th Ave. S.

Selby Ave. Ro
ber
Lake St. tS
Grand Ave. t.

Æ JERONIMO

01 19 BAR 05 TICKLES
19 W. 15th St., Mpls. 420 S. 4th St., Mpls.
(612) 871-5553 (612) 354-3846 WHO
Shoot pool or play darts at your neighbor- www.ticklesbar.com
hood bar—the Twin Cities’s oldest GLBT Live Piano Music. Full-Service Menu, Jeronimo
establishment. Happy Hour, Sports on 10 Flat-Panel TVs,
Pool, Darts. WHAT
Recipe: Twisted Thai
1 part Rum
1 part Triple Sec
1 part Disaronno
02 BRASS RAIL 1/2 part Sweet and Sour
422 Hennepin. Ave., Mpls. 06 TOWN HOUSE 1/2 part Pineapple Juice
(612) 332-RAIL (7245) 1415 University Ave. W., St. Paul Splash of Grenadine
www.thebrassraillounge.com (651) 646-7087
Completely remodeled elegant lounge www.townhousebar.com Garnish with a cherry and a lemon
featuring variety of entertainment: Fun neighborhood bar with a great mix of
karaoke, male dancers, and more. men and women. Karaoke. Drag shows. WHEN
Tue.-Wed., Fri.-Sat. • 7 PM-2 AM

WHERE
Brass Rail Lounge
422 Hennepin Ave., Mpls.
03 COALE'S (612) 332-RAIL (7245)
719 N. Dale St. www.thebrassraillounge.com
St. Paul, MN (651) 487-5829
Areanna Coale, proprietor.
An eclectic enigma filled with joy and WHY
happiness. Everyone welcome! “Variety of top-notch entertainment:
exotic dancers Wednesdays, open
mic Thursdays, live piano Fridays
and Saturdays, karaoke Sundays.
Great drinks at great prices.
Comfortable, elegant lounge.
04 GAY 90’S Friendly staff and clientele.”
408 Hennepin Ave., Mpls.
(612) 333-7755
www.gay90s.com
Upper Midwest’s Largest Gay Entertain-
ment Complex. Serving reasonably priced
menu in main bar Wednesday-Sunday.
Photo by George Holdgrafer

32 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


LavenderMagazine.com 33
BAR Š SHOWCASE

TICKLES
December 5

Photos by George Holdgrafer

34 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


BAR Š

Imperial Court of
Minnesota Holds
Last Call Fundraiser for Toys
at for Tots

According to a management source, Gladius at 1111 Hennepin


Avenue in Downtown Minneapolis will close its doors permanently
on December 18. It’s the second local GLBT bar to shut down in the
past two months, following on the demise of Rumours/Innuendo in
St. Paul on October 30. Steve Seyb (right) and Treonna Alert
Photo by Dan Lucas
Owner Philip Berglin opened Gladius on September 11, 2009. The
Ancient-Roman-themed establishment billed itself as “The New York On November 28 at Gladius, the Imperial Court of Minnesota
Chic of Minneapolis,” attracting primarily an upscale younger clientele. held a fundraiser for Toys for Tots. Emperor IX, Steve Seyb, raised
Over its year-and-a-quarter history, Gladius hosted a number of money by selling chances to win two teddy bears—in memory of
fundraisers for local GLBT organizations, especially the Imperial his late predecessor, Emperor I, Jerry Case, “The Teddy Bear Em-
Court of Minnesota, of which Berglin was Emperor X and Empress peror,” who died in 1996. Treonna Alert was the lucky prizewinner.
XIV (as Heather Haldane). GEORGE HOLDGRAFER GEORGE HOLDGRAFER

LavenderMagazine.com 35
BAR CALENDAR
For club addresses, phone numbers, and
websites, see “Bar Advertiser Guide” on page
32. For events not at bars, see <LavenderMaga-
zine.com/calendar>.

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 16
Lavender’s ThirstDays
5:30 PM. Gay 90’s.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 17
Gary Collins
5 PM. Tickles.
Mia Dorr
9 PM. Tickles.
Dragged Out
9:30 PM. Town House.
Holiday Party
La Femme Show Lounge. Gay 90’s.
Foam Party
Dance Annex. Gay 90’s.

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 18
Whitney Rhodes
8:30 PM. Tickles.
Chi Chi LaRue’s Holiday Party
9 PM. Jetset.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 19
Singles Pool Tournament
4 PM. 19 Bar.

36 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


BAR Š

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 25

LEGENDARY
Elegance
9 PM. Town House.

CHI CHI LARUE


Hosts Annual Twin Cities
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 31
Holiday Party
Gary Collins
5 PM. Tickles.
Whitney Rhodes
10 PM. Tickles.
New Year’s Eve Celebration
19 Bar
Ring in the New Year at the Rail
Brass Rail
New Year’s Eve Gala
Coale’s
2011 New Year’s Eve Party
Gay 90’s
New Year’s Eve Cheapie Night
Town House

SATURDAY, JANUARY 1
Jeff Olson
8:30 PM. Tickles
Lip Service
9 PM. Town House.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 8
Minnesota Storm Patrol Bust
5 PM. Town House.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 14 Photo Courtesy of Chi Chi LaRue

YOLO
9 PM. Town House.
n December 18, the legendary Chi world’s most famous gay adult video direc-
SATURDAY, JANUARY 15
Imperial Start to the New Year
Imperial Court of Minnesota
O Chi LaRue returns to the Twin Cit-
ies to host her annual Holiday Par-
ty, at Jetset in Downtown Minneapolis. She’ll
tor. As well, she is a much-in-demand DJ in-
ternationally. In 2007, Out Magazine named
LaRue one of its 50 Most Powerful Gay Men
Benefit for The Trevor Project preside over the festivities as DJ, sharing the and Women in America.
5:30 PM. Dance Annex. Gay 90’s. spinning with her nephew, DJ Bryan Ger- LaRue says, “I always look forward to
TNT Show rard. She has been headlining this always- coming home to Minnesota for the holidays
9 PM. Town House. popular December event since 1997. to see friends and family. My annual Holiday
A native of Hibbing, Minnesota, LaRue Party in the Twin Cities is one of the high-
SUNDAY, JANUARY 16 launched her career as a female imperson- lights of the year for me. I hope everyone
ator in the Twin Cities in the early 1980s, will join me for a naughty but nice evening
Singles Pool Tournament before moving to Los Angeles in 1986. For to heat us all up at least one night this frigid
4 PM. 19 Bar. more than two decades, she has been the December.” GEORGE HOLDGRAFER

LavenderMagazine.com 37
BAR Š LAVENDER LENS

THE ATONS HOLIDAY


FUNDRAISER FOR
THE ALIVENESS
PROJECT AND
OPEN ARMS OF
MINNESOTA
December 5
Tickles

Photos by George Holdgrafer

38 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


BAR Š LEATHER LIFE

International Mr. Leather 2010


Makes History Three Ways
INTERVIEW WITH TYLER MCCORMICK

Tyler McCormick competed in the 2010 I stepped down from Mr. Rio Grande Leather
International Mr. Leather (IML) contest as in October. So, when I won IML, I was, like,
Mr. Rio Grande Leather. When he won, he oh, no, he said he wasn’t going to marry
made history three ways: first transgender me until after I stepped down. I was a little
IML, first IML to use a wheelchair, and first freaked out. So, when he proposed, I knew
IML from New Mexico. everything was going to be OK.

You are a transman. Do you also con- When are you getting married?
sider yourself gay? On New Year’s Day.
The trans thing is sort of thrown in there,
but if I have an identity, it’s as a gay man. What has your title year been like so
far? Are people accommodating of the
So, you are both a G and a T in the wheelchair?
GLBT acronym. It’s been amazing. People have made ac-
At one time, I thought I was a lesbian. It cessibility better, because they knew I was
was short-lived. I took a year out in the middle going to be there, and I hope they continue
of college, because I was not understanding to keep the accessibility after I roll away.
whether I was a boy or a girl, and I was trying
to figure out who to be. I contemplated it for What about the trans angle?
a year, and finally decided I’m really a guy. By Tyler McCormick, International Mr. Leather 2010. I hear from other people that people have
Photo by Steve Lenius
the end of college, I was on hormones, and issues, but I haven’t run into any problems
had had some surgery, and I was good. with people, they get over it a lot faster. because of it. I figure if I show up, and I’m
genuinely and authentically Tyler, then that
When did leather and kink enter the What did you think when they called gets people to genuinely and authentically be
picture? your name as the new International Mr. themselves, and we’ll all get along just fine.
At 12 and 13, I remember fantasizing Leather?
about things that were nonvanilla. And even As soon as my brain clicked over that it I have never written a column on
younger than that, I remember watching was me, this whole process went through disabilities. When I write that column,
cartoons, going “Woo-hoo, the cowboy’s ty- my head. My partner would like to become a what should I include?
ing up the Indian.” I entered into my first minister, and right before my contestant in- Everybody’s got some sort of limitation—
contract when I was 19. terview, I had asked him if he’d like to say a takes some medication, wears glasses—and
prayer. And his prayer was not: Let him win; if we go from the perspective that some of
What is your disability? let him lose. It was: Let Tyler be the man that these limitations are just more obvious than
I have cerebral palsy. There’s a disconnect he is, and put him on the path that he needs others, then everyone gets a lot less afraid.
between my brain and muscles, primarily in my to be on. So, now, I was, like, wait a second, Anybody who walks up to me, and is genuine
legs. The muscles in my legs don’t know when this is the path the universe thinks I should and honest and has questions—I am more
to turn themselves off, so they like to just stay be on. I was just so humbled. than willing to answer. I would much rather
on all the time, fighting with each other. I hang on to three moments in that week- have them come up and ask me than assume
end: the prayer that Aaron said over me; and that I can or can’t do something.
Is “disability” the word you prefer? then, all my classmates piling on top of me McCormick will be in Minneapolis in
As long as you’re not intending malice, I after my name was announced; and then, February for the Creating Change Confer-
don’t really care what words you end up us- less than 24 hours after that, my husband ence, presented by the National Gay and
ing. I personally choose the words “gimp” gets down on one knee, and proposes to me. Lesbian Task Force. Visit his website at
and “cripple.” I find that if I use those words He had said he was going to marry me after <www.iml2010.com>. STEVE LENIUS

LavenderMagazine.com 39
CUISINE Š OFF THE EATEN PATH

40 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


Since Thanksgiving, I absolutely
have been drowning in Minnesotan
heavy cold-weather cuisine, so I was
looking forward to something
different. Traditional Japanese
fare is lighter and easy on the
stomach—comfort
food, redefined.

FUJI YA SERVING SUPERLATIVE JAPANESE CUISINE FOR MORE THAN A HALF-CENTURY

hough Fuji Ya has been around in some form since 1959, it remains one of the hippest local eat-

T
eries. At its Minneapolis location, the interior walks the line between slick and inviting. Escapist
without being kitschy, it is appropriate for anything from a first date to a business lunch. Known
for its sushi, it also offers traditional Japanese entreés to please a finicky Midwestern diner.
I am no Andrew Zimmern (I do draw the line somewhere before lamb eyeball), but I have
sucked down fried tendon, which was absolutely delicious. So, whether it’s eel, yellowtail, or
mackerel, adventurous sushi chefs pretty much can count me in. Also, since Thanksgiving, I
absolutely have been drowning in Minnesotan heavy cold-weather cuisine, so I was looking forward to something
different. Traditional Japanese fare is lighter and easy on the stomach—comfort food, redefined.
However, one still needs a little something to warm the bones, and our waiter was Johnny on the spot with a
Hendricks sake-tini ($9.25). This refreshing cocktail also can be made with vodka if you prefer, but with the in-
fused Hendricks, this cucumber-kissed beauty is subtle, smooth, and dangerously drinkable.
(Clockwise from upper left) Black Tobiko (infused soy flying fish egg); Ikura Salmon Roe; Wasabi Tobiko (wasabi infused flying fish roe); Masago (smelt roe); Tobiko (flying fish egg).
Photos by Hubert Bonnet

LavenderMagazine.com 41
CUISINE Š OFF THE EATEN PATH

tizers; next, Wakatake Onikoroshi ($16/$75),


which is subtly fruity; and finally, Ohyama
($10/$110), which is playful and refreshing,
and perhaps my favorite of the three.
Now that I have mentioned the generous
pours, I must put my readers on a two-sake
maximum, if you still are trying to impress
someone with your savage wit. You heard
me, lovelies! This little samurai, who couldn’t
have fought her way out of a Kowalski’s bag
when it was all said and done, was eating like
a starved tiger. You simply will have to re-
turn multiple times if you wish to try more
(Clockwise from upper left) Bar area; Preparing sushi; Aji (Spanish mackerel). sake—lucky for you, the fare also is worthy
of making a habit of it.
When visiting Fuji Ya, on the hot appe-
Known for its sushi, it also offers traditional Japanese entreés to tizer list, do not overlook Asparagus ($7.95),
please a finicky Midwestern diner. which is sautéed in a ginger sauce. Among
all the dishes boasting exotic and mysterious
My dining partner, who is not swayed so tle saucer is placed beneath the cup to catch names, this little plain-Jane-sounding dish is
easily, instantly made a grab for the exten- the significant excess. It seems like such a a surprise knockout.
sive sake list, which is befitting of the Twin waste of excellent sake, but I’m just guess- Kama Hama ($8.95) followed. It is grilled
Cities’s first Japanese restaurant. Our waiter ing even a thirsty samurai would consider it yellowtail cheek. A long-established Japa-
explained that long ago, samurai would com- gauche to lap from the saucer. nese delicacy, it is a substantial dish—almost
plain of being cheated unless their sake cups From the sake list, we first tried Shichi intimidating, really—but our server encour-
literally were filled to overflowing. Fuji Ya Hon Yari ($25/bottle), which has a pleasant aged us just to attack it boldly with our chop-
maintains that long-standing tradition. A lit- earthiness, and was wonderful with our appe- sticks, and mind the bones. A few jabs

42 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


LavenderMagazine.com 43
CUISINE Š OFF THE EATEN PATH

My dining partner, who had


spent considerable time in
Japan, marveled at how
authentic Fuji Ya’s mochi is.

and pinches later, a succulent morsel indeed


was mine. The flavorful fish is served with
its traditional and appropriately-assertive
partner, ponzu shoyu sauce.
Next, the sushi chefs created an exu-
berant platter of different preparations of
mackerel ($12.95-$19.55), followed by a
maki plate trussed up in colorful, spicy roe
($22-$28). Oh, heaven! Excellent sushi al-
ways makes me wonder why we ever bother
with cooking. Then, my unasked question
was answered. Our mackerel platter came
with a cheerful-looking fish that happened
to be impaled on two sticks, hovering above
its raw brethren. Our server explained that
this beauty quickly can be fried to a crisp,
and then eaten like a big fat fish chip. Yes,
please! Our fishy friend was whisked away,
and soon after, we enjoyed a very crunchy
and unexpected treat.
One doesn’t always think of dessert at a
Japanese restaurant. Now, after dining at Fuji
Ya, I wonder why this is so. We were served
Strawberry Ice Cream Mochi—delicate ice
cream balls (often green tea-flavored) cov-
ered in sticky rice. My dining partner, who
had spent considerable time in Japan, mar-
veled at how authentic Fuji Ya’s mochi is.
I take her at her word. It was served with
green tea ice cream, plus, for a special sea-
sonal treat, a little bit of chocolate ice. Un-
fortunately, I only could manage a little bit
of this rare wonder, so I will have to go back
to enjoy it more fully another time. I’m sure
dedication is part of the samurai code, but
to be perfectly honest, I will be returning
purely for pleasure. HEIDI FELLNER

Fuji Ya
600 W. Lake St., Mpls.
(612) 871-4055
465 Wabasha St., St. Paul
(651) 319-0111
www.fujiyasushi.com

(Above, from left) Dining area; Ahi Tuna Sockeye Salmon. (Below, from left) Suzuki (striped sea bass); Kampachi (young yellowtail)
Aji (Spanish mackerel); Ahi Tuna Sockeye Salmon; Uni (Sea Urchin).

44 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


LavenderMagazine.com 45
LEISURE Š LAVENDER LENS

LAVENDER'S
HOLIDAY FIRST
THURSDAY
December 2
Seven

Photos by Sophia Hantzes

46 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


LavenderMagazine.com 47
LEISURE Š GET OUTTA TOWN

MANCHESTER
P
ENGLAND
Where but Manchester will
you find a statue honoring
President Abe Lincoln for
his views?

f London were the New York

I
of England, then Manchester
stands as its Chicago, the coun-
try’s burly second city. They’re
sisters across the pond and un-
der the skin. Both grew pros-
perous on the labors of a strong
working class—cotton mills
in Manchester, meatpacking in Chicago—
and the same feisty labor movements, each
launching raucous strikes to even the eco-
nomic imbalance.
Manchester’s Peoples’ History Museum
bristles with depictions of sweatshops, child
labor (the Little Match Girl was no fairytale
here), suffragettes, and abolitionists. And
where but Manchester will you find a statue
honoring President Abe Lincoln for his views?
As I followed the museum’s depictions of the
struggles for democracy, a teacher made
sure his young charges got the message:
“What does ‘rebellion’ mean? ‘Revolution?’”
(PS: The kids knew the answers.)
Both cities idolize their football teams.
The Manchester Union plays in a sparkling
stadium (tours available) at Salford Quay.
The fans’ gritty, beat-the-odds-and-win
spirit explodes again in the quay’s War Mu-
seum, designed by celeb architect Daniel
Libeskind with a deliberately confusing en-
trance to underscore the message that war
is shattering—as depicted inside in interac-
(Above) Bridge at night. (Below) One of the many venues in Manchester. Photos Courtesy of MarketingManchester.com

48 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


(Clockwise from upper left) City scene • Downtown Manchester. Photo Courtesy of MarketingManchester.com • Musician. Photo by Russell Bloor

MANCHESTER’S GAY VILLAGE IS CENTERED ON CANAL STREET, HEMMING THE (DUH!) CANAL
WITH A RAINBOW OF HOTELS, BARS, CLUBS, OUTDOOR CAFES, AND INDOOR PLEASURES.
tive form. What was the worst pest in the this a church?” fes, and indoor pleasures. TV’s British Queer
trenches: lice or maggots? Put your hand in No, but St. Anne’s is, to be sure. John as Folk was based here. A Pride Parade ig-
the box, and feel the answer. Worst smell? A Wesley preached here in 1757. And so, of nites the city every August, while October
nose test, too. Listen to recorded accounts course, is the Cathedral, whose 19th-Centu- brings a gala Gay Wedding Show, which has
of soldiers, prisoners, evacuees. See films ry exterior envelops a 14th-Century interior tied the knot for more than 6,800 couples
of Manchester’s repeated bombings. Then, boasting an elaborately carved wood choir since same-sex marriage became legal in
step back onto its busy streets, bustling with stall, where a bit of that Manchester swagger 2004. Visit: <www.visitmanchester.com/
the famous Manchester swagger that fore- sneaked in. What’s a pig doing in a church? discover/lgbt.aspx>; <www.manchestergay
stalled defeat, and join the lads for a pint or A monkey? bars.com>; <www.gayweddingslow.co.uk>.
three in the nearest pub. Stroll to the nearby Manchester Wheel, Trade your swagger for a cool and pol-
Explore the Art Museum (all museums a Ferris ride of swagger supreme, offering ished stance to enjoy the town’s premier
are free) with its happier message, conveyed overviews of the city. At its foot spill the city’s eateries, leading off with Opus, star of the
in its peaches-and-cream pre-Raphaelite por- prime shopping streets, as well as the Royal five-star Radisson Edwardian Hotel, which
traits, and earlier scions, full of the original Exchange Theatre, with an in-the-round stage occupies the venerable Free Trade Hall of
Manchester swagger, whose likenesses where you’re up-close-and-personal with per- 1858—home to ever y stripe of performer
roam the streets today. An annex displays formers like Hugh Grant and Helen Mirrin. from Dickens to Bob Dylan and Madonna.
quirky Victorian collections, like that of one Just beyond stretches the Northern Opus One, its restaurant, boasts star-qual-
compulsive, Mary Gregg, who amassed ev- Quarter, a countercultural enclave teeming ity fare like my starter of liver pâtés with
erything from thimbles to stuffed frogs. It with “dead-trendy” (as they say) boutiques, green tea jelly—or choose the smoked veni-
also salutes the designer-collector items of vintage clothiers, used bookshops, ethnic son carpaccio, or terrine of organic salmon
tomorrow: arty chairs to Coronation mugs. cafes, and clubs bouncing with live music. with lime-and-avocado mousse. Proceed
The John Rylands Library, an intricate Swing south, in this easily-strolled city, to to brill with scallion and crab ravioli—or
Gothic landscape, houses collections of a Chinatown, the largest in Europe, with its prime rib with corned beef-and-shallot
literary sort, including the oldest existing iconic arch. hash, maple-infused veggies, and potatoes
page of the New Testament from 125 AD. Its Manchester’s Gay Village is centered on roasted in duck fat. OK, pikers can choose
Historic Reading Room (which earns those Canal Street, hemming the (duh!) canal with a luscious roast vegetable paella. A platter
capitals) caused a passerby to whisper, “Is a rainbow of hotels, bars, clubs, outdoor ca- of elite British cheeses makes the per-

LavenderMagazine.com 49
LEISURE Š GET OUTTA TOWN

LIVERPOOL, ENGLAND
iverpool, a port city an hour distant

L from Manchester, makes a grand day


journey. Sylvia, our guide, professes,
“People think there’s rivalry between the two
cities—and they’re right!” Liverpool has a small-
er Wheel, a larger port—and The Beatles.
On the waterfront—where, indeed,
Brando’s On the Waterfront was filmed, and
a new museum of city history will open in
2011—the ferry terminal hosts a free dis-
play of hitherto-unpublished, behind-the-
scenes photos of the Fab Four.
Nearby, at Albert Dock, a trendy complex
houses the Tate Modern Gallery, a maritime
museum, and one powerfully detailing slav-
ery—Liverpool was the main distribution
center for Africans sent to the New World.
(Clockwise from left) City dusk landscape. Photo Courtesy of MarketingManchester.com • Liverpool. Photo Courtesy of Stock.xchng But the star attraction is its neighbor, the
Beatles Story. The audio-visual tour down
memory lane includes repros of Abbey Road,
the recording studio; the shop where the
AMERICAN AIRLINES FLIES DIRECTLY FROM CHICAGO TO lads bought their musical instruments on the
MANCHESTER, WHICH MAKES A GETAWAY SUPEREASY. installment plan; the Cavern, a coffeehouse
where they performed 274 times; their first
public performance as rock stars in 1957 (a
fect finale—if you’re immune to the banana City Café, at City Inn, thrills locavores younger Sylvia was there); their first nation-
parfait, that is. with soup of watercress and potato; cheddar, al, then international, tour; their homes. As
Michelin-starred Chef Michael Caines potato, and tarragon tart; fillet of brill topped George Harrison himself put it, “The country
plunks his stellar restaurant in the ’50s- with cockles; and lovely British cheeses. used us as an excuse to party.”
themed ABode hotel, where foodies can Mr. Thomas’s Chop House, straight from Party on today in The Cavern, descend-
savor a salad of crispy-crusted egg atop your dream of a cozy Victorian pub-café, re- ing its depths to hear current raves like The
watercress puree and soft cheese, then thinks classics like corned-beef hash cake Atomic Kittens. Stay the night at the posh
proceed to salmon upon a fricassee of crowned with a soft-poached egg; steak and Hard Day’s Night Hotel, with life-size stat-
lentils, with nettle puree and fennel foam. kidney pie; and sticky toffee pudding. ues above the sidewalk. Or join a tour to visit
Follow with a prune-and-Armagnac soufflé Atmospheric pubs, as prevalent as pi- Penny Lane, Strawberry Fields, and more.
and matching ice cream. Or opt for the am- geons, include Britain’s Protection—200 In honor of John Lennon’s 70th birthday
bitious tasting menu. years old and still pouring pints of Rust (a on October 9, 2010, his son unveiled a new
Upper-crust clothier Harvey Nichols also lager) and Mary Rose (bitter) amid coveys Peace Monument to anchor the city.
hosts a stylish restaurant and a casual bras- of revelers. Liverpool launched the first Gay Pride
serie, where you’re invited to dine on rabbit- American Airlines flies directly from Parade in the land. And at the ferry terminal
and-black-pudding ravioli; Cheshire beef Chicago to Manchester, which makes a get- aside the Mersey River, it annually hosts the
with truffle gnocchi; and, indeed, that all- away supereasy. Contact www.AA.com> and beyond-ultra Fairies Across the Mersey.
time British icon, fish and chips with mushy <www.marketingmanchester.com> to make Check out <www.VisitLiverpool.com>.
peas (you had to have been there). your plans. CARLA WALDEMAR CARLA WALDEMAR

50 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


LEISURE Š

UNITED
WE

STAND
AN
A
AN INTIMATE INTERVIEW WITH MY PARTNER, LT. EVERETT MORROW
BY MIKEY ROX

hrough the years, I’ve had the pleasure

T of interviewing an array of pop and gay


culture’s most intriguing personalities.
I remember distinctly the scheduled 20-min-
ute conversation with rocker-turned-actor Henry
Rollins that extended into an hour’s worth of en-
tertaining chat; exchanging e-mails on multiple
occasions with superstar Cyndi Lauper to discuss
her inspiring True Colors Tour; the verifiable
laughfest with comedienne Margaret Cho when-
ever she had a new show to promote; and the
no-holds-barred Q&A with Billy Bean, a former
Major League Baseball player, and still one of few
athletes from the four main American sports ever
to come out publicly.
Yes, I’ve interviewed some of the most inter-
esting people alive—but none of them compare
to this interview with my own fiancé.
ON
DON’T ASK,
DON’T TELL

LavenderMagazine.com 51
LEISURE

Lt. Everett Earl Morrow and I met in 2006. He was visiting those four years. It wasn’t until I reported to my first command
Baltimore, my home at the time, on weekend leave from the almost two years after graduation that I even thought of doing
Navy. Our romance was a whirlwind. What I meant to finish anything. Even then, I made sure I was on liberty or leave, and

YES, I’VE INTERVIEWED SOME OF THE MOST INTERESTING PEOPLE ALIVE—BUT


the first night it started—because of my own insecurities about far out of town.
long-distance dating—has turned into a three-and-a-half year
love affair with no end in sight. But just because we’re still to- Did you come out to any of your classmates or ship-
gether doesn’t mean our relationship hasn’t experienced its fair mates while you were an active duty officer?
share of ups and downs. No, not while I was on active duty. Finishing my active-duty
One of the most outstanding and complicating issues of our obligation was too important to take the risk on what someone

NONE OF THEM COMPARE TO THIS INTERVIEW WITH MY OWN FIANCÉ.


life together is that I lead a rather public life. I’m a writer, a so- else might do. I felt like my service was not only important to
cial networker, and sometimes a socialite who likes to see and the mission at hand, but as much to my future. It was a profes-
be seen. He, on the other hand, is quiet, reserved, and gener- sional milestone that I began, and had to finish. So, the tradeoff
ally uninterested in rocking the proverbial boat. was to make a personal sacrifice to accommodate DADT, which,
Until now. Refusing to rest on his laurels regarding the mili- looking back, I shouldn’t have had to do. I’ve since come out to
tary’s Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT) policy, Morrow has made some of my fellow shipmates, none of whom have responded
the brave choice to speak out and share his story—despite the negatively.
consequences.
In this intimate, revealing interview between partners—one Were you ever suspected to be gay by your shipmates?
a journalist, the other a Naval officer—Morrow discusses his Did you experience or witness any outward homophobia?
days as a midshipman at the United States Naval Academy; jug- There were never any suspicions outside of jest. I was
gling his sexuality with his commitment to our country; making fiercely defensive of my personal life while at work, so any sus-
the tough decision to choose personal fulfillment over profes- picions would have only been based on a lack of knowledge
sional gain; and the discriminatory DADT policy that ultimately of what I did with my time outside of work, and why I never
ended his military career. had a girlfriend. Essentially, I had isolated myself in that sense,
which didn’t help to make me a fully integrated member of the
When you were accepted into the Naval Academy as a team like others were.
teenager, were you afraid that your sexuality would be prob-
lematic? When we first started dating, you knew that I was a
No more than growing up in a small suburban town. I wasn’t journalist who published articles—including some rather
openly gay to my family and friends when I entered the Naval controversial opinion pieces on gay issues, one of them
Academy, and being aware of DADT at the time, I didn’t have any the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy—in GLBT and mainstream
plans for that to change. Ultimately, I was afraid of what “coming publications across the country. Were you ever worried
out” would mean for my education, career, and future. I wanted that your romantic involvement with me would somehow
nothing more than to be honest with everyone, but at 17 years be discovered because of my work within the press?
old, I just didn’t know how to reconcile the two lifestyles, and At first, but only because I hadn’t built the trust and confi-
therefore stayed in the closet. I did this despite the personal toll dence in you and your profession that I needed to be completely
that it was taking, and would continue to take. comfortable with our relationship as it related to being in the
military. However, it didn’t take long for me to realize that the
How did you handle your sexuality during that time articles you write and the way in which you do write them are
and throughout your militar y career? Did you pursue of the highest integrity. I came to trust that you would never
your interest in guys and in what capacity? divulge my identity unless I said it was OK.
I handled it like many others did—I didn’t say or do any-
thing that would call into question my sexuality. Even though I How did you reconcile the potential outcome?
had no doubt that I was gay, I couldn’t risk raising the doubt in Given the nature of our relationship, in that we were dating
others that I was. At first, out of fear, I didn’t pursue any homo- long distance at first, I just didn’t think it was likely that I’d be
sexual interests. The risk was just too big to chance it. I lived in caught. Had we lived closer or together, I’m sure it would have
the dormitory while at the Naval Academy, which afforded little been harder, which would have played a big part in my decision
privacy—plus, I didn’t have a car for two years, and otherwise to leave active duty.
was just afraid of being caught. This is part of that personal toll
that I paid as result of DADT. I would have liked nothing more Just before you chose to end active-duty ser vice in the
than to have had both a professional and personal life during Navy, your superiors offered you a salar y increase and a

52 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


new assignment in Annapolis. That presented a problem, will encounter?
because, at the time, I was living in Baltimore, which I’m confident that Congress will ultimately do the right thing.

REGARDING THE MILITARY’S DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL POLICY, MORROW HAS MADE
meant that we would be closer together, setting up a new I see the major obstacles as all political. Unfortunately, there are
set of obstacles. Why did you decline that position? still several of our legislators that just don’t get it. They refuse to
I would have loved to accept that position, but I realized that recognize the reality of the fact that this won’t have the impact
I loved you more, and it just wouldn’t have worked for us to they fear. I’ve heard comments of the repeal having an effect on
be that close together, especially because I expected that we’d unit cohesion and military readiness. I think that couldn’t be far-
move in together. This is exactly the inherent flaw in DADT, ther from the truth, as the current policy is what breaks these
which is that it forces gays and lesbians in the military to choose things down. Socially, I agree with Admiral Mullen’s comment
between their professional and personal lives. As a result, many “that the great young men and women of our military can and
of us choose the latter, realizing that we can be just as success- would accommodate such a change.”
ful, and have a positive influence in the civilian world, without
having to put up with such a policy. Looking back, even though How do you feel when members of Congress and
I would have loved the job, and been great at it, I don’t regret other leaders of this countr y speak out against allowing
my decision at all, as I’m confident that I’m better off for it, and gays and lesbians to ser ve their countr y openly? Do you
that it’s the Navy’s loss. ever feel that your commitment to the United States—
THE BRAVE CHOICE TO SPEAK OUT AND SHARE HIS STORY.

and your protection of its freedom—is undermined and


You recently participated in an off-camera inter view unappreciated?
for the upcoming documentar y film Out of Annapolis. I feel both undermined and unappreciated in the sense that
What did you discuss in the inter view, and why did you it’s only good enough for them that I serve as long as I keep
choose to do it off-camera? quiet about my sexuality. If they truly understood or cared, they
I discussed with the director, Steve Clark Hall, what it was would appreciate me for more than just my service, like who
like for me as a gay man aboard a submarine. I shared with I am as a person. It’s even more distressing for me when indi-
him that I don’t think our sailors would have the problem with viduals like Senator John McCain, who served so valiantly, say
openly homosexual crew members as some would lead you to these things.
believe. The reason I did the interview off-camera is primarily
because that’s what the director required for those of us that How do you think a repeal of the policy will be handled
wanted to participate, but are still in either the regular or re- by the rank and file? Do you foresee increased instances
serve Navy. of hate crimes and homophobia, or will the transition be
made without incident?
Are you afraid of the consequences of DADT now that I think that many people are underestimating our rank-and-
you’ve publicly taken a stand against the policy? file. Part of being in the military is being flexible and accommo-
Not anymore. I used to be, but in light of recent events, I dating. All of us do this every day, and I don’t think a repeal of
just can’t stand by, and not do whatever I can to help all gays DADT would be any different.
and lesbians gain the right to be able to serve openly, which is
something that I would have liked for myself. If DADT is repealed, would you consider a return to
active-duty ser vice?
As someone who entered militar y ser vice knowing the No. The Navy lost out on me two years ago, when my mili-
consequences, do you think it’s fair for the institution to tary career was irreconcilable with my personal life because of
discharge you based on the provisions of DADT? this discriminatory policy. At that point, I pursued other civilian
I don’t think that it’s fair at all for the military to discharge opportunities, and have found everything I was looking for. I’ve
anyone based on their sexual orientation. The measure of a developed a new loyalty to my profession that balances with my
sailor, soldier, Marine, etc., should be based on the quality of love for you. No one I work with now would ever question that.
their performance, not their sexuality. I am like many others That’s all any of us want, and even with a repeal of DADT, I’m past
who were deemed more than competent, and proved to be real going back. I love my country, value my service, and would do it
assets to our units. I just can’t understand why we have a policy again if time were rolled back. However, I’ve moved on.
that forces us out involuntarily, or to make the decision to leave,
Mikey Rox, an award-winning journalist, is the principal of Paper Rox Scissors, a media and mar-
like I did. keting company in New York City. For more information, visit <www.paperroxscissors.com>.

Do you think a repeal will happen? What political and


social obstacles do you think a bill to repeal the policy

LavenderMagazine.com 53
BACKTALK Š BUSINESS PROFILE

SOS HOMECARE
iving in a vintage home presents to make it a really enjoyable experience for

L its challenges. Our lifestyles have


changed so rapidly over the past
century that those charming (but
small) kitchens and bathrooms may have a
negative impact on your daily life.
everybody.”
It was also important to both founders
to cater to the gay community. Currently,
GLBT customers are about 50 percent of
their business.
If your home isn’t able to accommodate Switzenberg shares, “We are gay. These
your needs, a remodel may be in order. That days, it doesn’t seem to matter, but that’s
said, most homeowners would prefer to hon- one of the reasons we got involved in this
or their home’s unique architecture, while 20 years ago. People were really uncom-
enjoying a more functional and energy-effi- fortable just having anybody come into
cient kitchen, for example. That requires an their house. We’re easy to get along with in
experienced remodeling company. those regards.”
SOS Homecare has been in business for It may seem like a small point, but hav-
more than 20 years. Working with vintage, ing contractors you get along with really
inner-city homes is its specialty. can make a project run more smoothly. In
Cofounder Lee Switzenberg says, “Un- fact, Switzenberg feels it may be one of the
derstanding the architecture and under- most important aspects of choosing a re-
standing how an older home is put together modeling company, next to proper licens-
gives us a heads-up compared to someone ing and experience.
who’s used to working in Eagan with an- Switzenberg remarks, “I know that
other kind of home. We’re vintage-house sounds really odd, but when I first started
experts at this point in our lives.” my business years ago, I thought there
Kitchens and bathrooms are SOS Home- were good customers and bad customers.
care’s favorite projects, but it also will tackle And I know now there are only good cus-
construction and framing; decks and patios; tomers, but some people work better with
tiling; brick and concrete work; windows some kinds of people!” HEIDI FELLNER
and door replacement; outdoor lighting;
landscaping; and siding and trim work. Name of Company: SOS Homecare Inc.
For the breadth of work that they do, co- Year Founded: In business more than 20
years
founder Todd Oberg and Switzenberg be-
President/CEO: Todd Oberg
lieve in keeping their company small, plac- Number of Employees: 2 full-time, 1
ing a high priority on customer service. part-time
Switzenberg explains, “We will help our Phone: (612) 374-3222
customers from beginning to end, and try Website: www.soshomecaremn.com

54 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


THE NETWORK

ATTORNEYS FINANCIAL SERVICES HOME SERVICES

BARBERS

HEALTH & WELLNESS

HEALTH & FITNESS

LavenderMagazine.com 55
CALENDAR
DECEMBER/JANUARY

Schmidt; “Do You Hear What I Hear”; Ra- and to further an image. This causes most nepin Ave. S., Mpls. (612) 332-6620. <www.
chmaninoff’s “Pridite”; and “E’en So, Lord pictures to be layered heavily with paper, bravenewworkshop.com>.
Jesus, Quickly Come” from Cantus’s new objects, and paint. In fact, he considers
CD, That Eternal Day. 7:30 AM. St. Bar- white glue and scissors as his most valu-

17
THE CHRISTMAS SCHOONER. Written
tholomew’s Catholic Church, 630 Wayzata able tools. What ends up being “behind” by John Reeger, with music and lyrics by
Blvd. E., Wayzata. Westminster Presbyte- becomes just as important to the finished Julie Shannon, it’s the true story of the
rian Church, 1200 Marquette Ave., Mpls. product as the foreground. When com- Christmas Tree Ships that sailed on Lake
(612) 435-0055. <www.cantusonline.org>. plete, a picture should be a total experi- Michigan to bring evergreens to the people
ence for all the senses. Opening reception of Chicago in the late 1800s. Beautiful
Jan. 7, 7-11 PM. Through Jan. 30. Rosalux songs and joyful dances performed by the
Friday, December Gallery, 1224 2nd St. NE, Mpls. (612) 703- 15-person ensemble make this retelling a
5785. <www.rosaluxgallery.com>. warm family entertainment for the holi-
day season. Through Dec. 19. The History

22
Wednesday, December 22 Theatre, 30 E. 10th St., St. Paul. (651) 292-
4323. <www.historytheatre.com>.

FULL CIRCLE. It’s a two-person exhibition


CHRISTMAS WITH CANTUS. From timeless of painting by Jim Dryden and ceramic in-
classical works to new arrangements of stallation by Kathy Wismar. Dryden’s work
favorite tunes, Cantus mines the treasures explores themes of partnership, relation-
of Christmas to bring the beautiful sounds Wednesday, December ship, and intimacy in which circular motifs
of the holidays to Twin Cities audiences. reference a sense of connection and con-
The nine-member ensemble will sing car- tinuity. Hand-built or thrown on a wheel,
ols, pop standards, and a new premiere Kathy Wismar’s unique pieces acknowl-
piece in Christmas With Cantus. New to edge the past, while reaching into the fu-
the Christmas repertoire are a world pre- ture. Through Jan 10. Opening reception
miere of “O Magnum Mysterium” by Brian CHRISTMAS WITH CANTUS. From timeless Dec. 11. Traffic Zone Gallery, 250 3rd Ave.
Schmidt; “Do You Hear What I Hear”; Ra- classical works to new arrangements of N., Mpls. (651) 592-1841. <www.traffic
chmaninoff’s “Pridite”; and “E’en So, Lord favorite tunes, Cantus mines the treasures zoneart.com>.
Jesus, Quickly Come” from Cantus’s new of Christmas to bring the beautiful sounds
CD, That Eternal Day. 10:30 AM. Westmin- of the holidays to Twin Cities audiences.
ster Presbyterian Church, 1200 Marquette The nine-member ensemble will sing car- JOSEPH AND THE AMAZING TECHNICOL-
Ave., Mpls. (612) 435-0055. <www.cantu ols, pop standards, and a new premiere OR DREAMCOAT. You are what you dream.
sonline.org>. piece in Christmas With Cantus. New to Enjoy this perennially-popular production,
Courtesy of David Whannel with lyrics by Tim Rice and music by An-
the Christmas repertoire are a world pre-
miere of “O Magnum Mysterium” by Brian drew Lloyd Webber. It features American
ELLIS’S HOLIDAY FOOD DRIVE CONCERT. Idol finalist Anthony Federov, along with
Nationally-touring singer-songwriter El-
lis repeatedly has been voted Best Local
Musician by Lavender readers. She invites
Schmidt; “Do You Hear What I Hear”; Ra-
chmaninoff’s “Pridite”; and “E’en So, Lord
Jesus, Quickly Come” from Cantus’s new
ONGOING a cast of 80, including 50 local children.
Through Jan. 2. Ordway Center for the Per-
CD, That Eternal Day. 10:30 AM. Chapel forming Arts, 345 Washington St., St. Paul.
you to her 7th-annual Holiday Food Drive 2 PIANOS, 4 HANDS. This production brings (651) 224-4222. <www.ordway.org>.
Concert, a music-filled evening to help out of St. Thomas Aquinas, 2115 Summit Ave.,
fabulous music, hilarious one-liners, and
needy Twin Cities residents of the Twin Cit- St. Paul. (612) 435-0055. <www.cantuson
razor-sharp insights into the world of com-
ies. The concert usually sells out, so buy line.org>. TRETTER COLLECTION 10TH ANNIVER-
petition for the holiday season. Two actors,
tickets in advance, and arrive early to get playing grand pianos and multiple roles, SARY EXHIBIT. Celebrating the 10th an-
a seat. 8 PM. Ginkgo Coffeehouse, 721 N. grace the stage, as the story of two piano niversary of the internationally-acclaimed
Snelling Ave., St. Paul. <www.ellis-music. whiz kids unfolds. Through Jan. 2. Park Tretter Collection in GLBT Studies at the
com>. Square Theatre, 20 W. 7th Pl., St. Paul. University of Minnesota, an exhibit, Sav-
(651) 291-7005. <www.parksquaretheatre. ing Our Lives, runs through February 5.

2
org>. University of Minnesota, Elmer L. Ander-
sen Library. <http://z.umn.edu/tretter
events>.
Sunday, January 2 BINGO BONANZA FOR THE HOLIDAYS.

21
Start the holiday season off right with Miss
Richfield 1981’s 2010 holiday show, Bingo TRIPLE ESPRESSO. It’s the irresistible
Tuesday, December 21 Bonanza for the Holidays. The audience story of a comedy trio going for their big
Sunday, January gets to play, as Miss R calls three rounds of break, only to have their hopes dashed over
bingo for her favorite charity, plus discuss- and over on the rocks of one magnificently
es her latest travels, appropriate dress, funny failure after another. Hugh, Buzz,
and other vital matters. Through Dec. 19. and Bobby reunite for a hilarious evening
Tuesday, December Illusion Theater, 528 Hennepin Ave., Mpls. of music, magic, and megalaughs in this
(612) 339-4944. <www.illusiontheater. audience favorite that appeals to everyone
TRICK HORIZONS: NEW WORK BY DAVID from age 6 to 106. It’s a perfect group out-
org>.
WHANNEL. Influenced by the ordinary, ing. Through Jan. 9. Music Box Theatre,
surreal aspects of everyday objects, maxi- 1407 Nicollet Ave., Mpls. (612) 424-1407.
malist artist Whannel will use just about BRETT FAVRE’S CHRISTMAS SPECTACU- <www.musicboxtheatre.org>.
anything in his paintings and drawings to LAR II: THE SECOND COMING. Break from
CHRISTMAS WITH CANTUS. From timeless
add interest and layers. Push and pull, the family fumbles of the holiday season,
classical works to new arrangements of For additional calendar events, visit <www.
inside out, jets streaming off the edge, and cheer as the all-star holiday lineup
favorite tunes, Cantus mines the treasures LavenderMagazine.com>.
little safe areas, bold colors, texture, funny takes the field for Brett Favre’s Christmas
of Christmas to bring the beautiful sounds
stuff, vibrating edges, distorted perspec- Spectacular II: The Second Coming. Brave
of the holidays to Twin Cities audiences.
tive with collage create a truly unique ex- New Workshop spike the holiday sea-
The nine-member ensemble will sing car-
perience in each picture. Whannel doesn’t son with seasonal favorites, plus all-new
ols, pop standards, and a new premiere
consider himself an abstract artist—rath- sketches and songs, to leave audiences
piece in Christmas With Cantus. New to
er he’s a fan of art. He believes there are laughing through the New Year. Through
the Christmas repertoire are a world pre-
no mistakes, just opportunity to improve Jan. 29. Brave New Workshop, 2605 Hen-
miere of “O Magnum Mysterium” by Brian

56 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


THE NETWORK

HOME SERVICES INSURANCE PROFESSIONAL SERVICES

PSYCHOTHERAPY

MEDICAL SERVICES

INSURANCE

LavenderMagazine.com 57
THE NETWORK

PSYCHOTHERAPY REAL ESTATE

REAL ESTATE

58 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


CLASSIFIEDS

EMPLOYMENT HELP WANTED PSYCHOTHERAPY THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE

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LavenderMagazine.com 59
COMMUNITY CONNECTION

Community Connection brings vis- MEDIA & COMMUNICATIONS Minnesota Orchestra


ibility to local GLBT-friendly non-profit
EDUCATION Led by Music Director Osmo Vänskä, the
organizations. To reserve your list- Art Institutes International Minnesota Minnesota Public Radio
Minnesota Orchestra, one of America’s
ing in Community Connection, call Helping prepare students for careers in the Providing in depth news coverage, classical
leading symphony orchestras.
612-436-4698 or email advertising@ visual and practical arts. music and emerging artists 1111 Nicollet Mall Minneapolis, MN
lavendermagazine.com. 15 South 9th Street on our three regional services. (612) 371-5656 (800) 292-4141
Minneapolis, MN (651) 290-1212 www.minnesotaorchestra.org
(612) 332-3361 www.mpr.org
AIDS/HIV & TREATMENT www.artinstitutes.edu/minneapolis Ordway Center for the Performing
Aliveness Project, The Radio K 770 Arts
Community Center for Individuals Living with Minnesota Online High School Radio K is the award-winning student-run Hosting, presenting, and creating performing
HIV/AIDS -- On-site Meals, Food Shelf and Small statewide, public online high school radio station of the University of Minnesota arts and educational
Supportive Services. open to any Minnesota resident in grades 9 330 21st Ave. S. programs that enrich diverse audiences.
730 East 38th St. Minneapolis, MN through 12. 610 Rarig Center 345 Washington St.
(612) 824-LIFE (5433) www.aliveness.org 1313 5th St. SE, Ste. 300 University of Minnesota St. Paul, MN
Minneapolis, MN Minneapolis, MN (651) 224-4222
HIM Program - Red Door Services (800) 764-8166 (612) 625-3500 www.ordway.org
Hennepin County Public Health Clinic. www.mnohs.org www.radiok.org
525 Portland Ave., 4th Fl. Park Square Theatre
Minneapolis, MN HEALTH & WELLNESS MUSEUM Creating entertainment that matters;
(612) 348-9100 GLBTCALLITQUITS.COM transporting you to unique worlds through
Walker Art Center
www.HIMprogram.org If you’re ready to quit smoking, exceptional talent and masterful stories.
Internationally recognized as a leading
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(866) 434-9736 (651) 291-7005
www.Capsprogram.orga time.
1750 Hennepin Ave. www.parksquaretheatre.org
Rainbow Health Initiative
Minnesota AIDS Project AIDSLine Working to improve the health of LGBTQ Minneapolis, MN
Theater Latté Da
The AIDSLine is the statewide referral Minnesotans through education, clinical (612) 375-7600
Exploring and expanding the art of musical
service to connect with HIV information and practice, outreach, and advocacy. RHI is www.walkerart.org
theater under the artistic direction of Peter
resources. the lead agency for the MN Tobacco-free Rohstein.
1400 Park Ave. Lavender Communities. PERFORMING ARTS Minneapolis, MN
Minneapolis, MN 611-A West Lake Street Flower Shop Project (612) 339-3003
(612) 373-AIDS (metro) or Minneapolis, MN Producing new and local works of theatre www.latteda.org
(800) 248-AIDS (statewide) (877) 499-7744 that are smart, ballsy and fundamentally
mapaidsline@mnaidsproject.org www.rainbowhealth.org entertaining. The Minnesota Opera
www.mnaidsproject.org www.mntlc.org At Bryant-Lake Bowl & Patrick’s Cabaret America’s most exciting opera company -
Minneapolis, MN tickets start at just $20.
Park House Sexual Health Empowerment (S.H.E.) (612) 388-8628 620 N. 1st St.
Day Health / Mental Health Treatment Clinic www.theflowershopproject.com Minneapolis, MN (612) 342-9550
Program for Adults Living with HIV/AIDS. Uninsured? Underinsured? Sexual health www.mnopera.org
710 E. 24th Street, Suite 303 services for female-bodied, queer-identified
Minneapolis, MN Hennepin Theatre Trust
individuals provided on a sliding fee scale. Orpheum, State and Pantages Theatres Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus
(612) 871-1264 33 South 5th St.
www.allina.com/ahs/anw.nsf/page/ Twin Cities’ best live entertainment: An award-winning chorus that builds
Minneapolis, MN (612) 332-2311 community through music and offers
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to participate in research studies. Minnesota History Center www.HennepinTheatreDistrict.org (612) 339-SONG (7664)
420 Delaware Street SE The best of Minnesota comes to life with fun, chorus@tcgmc.org
Minneapolis, MN hands-on exhibits and signature programs. www.tcgmc.org
History Theatre
(612) 625-7472 345 Kellogg Blvd W.
Plays and musicals that illuminate the broad
St. Paul, MN University of Minnesota Theatre Arts
(651) 259-3000 American experience,
ART GALLERIES and Dance
www.mnhs.org/historycenter celebrating local legends, rock
Minneapolis Institute of Arts Educating artists and audiences through a diverse
icons, and everyday people.
Enjoy Masterpieces From All Over The mix of performances on both land and water.
LIBRARY 30 East 10th Street U of M Theatre
World And Every Period Of Human History. St. Paul, MN
Free Admission Daily! Quatrefoil Library 330 21st Ave S, Minneapolis, MN
Your GLBT Library with stacks of DVDs, (651) 292-4323 (612) 624-2345
2400 3rd Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN www.HistoryTheatre.com
(612) 870-3000 books, and magazines. www.theatre.umn.edu
www.artsmia.org Check out our online catalogue.
1619 Dayton Ave., No. 105 Jungle Theater PETS/PET SERVICES
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about Move In Specials! loft@loft.org www.aboutmmt.org www.wildcatsanctuary.org

60 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


BACKTALK Š DATELAND

Take My Civil-Unionized
Partner, Please
We were driving down a country road in the Lake District of England, based on ownership, and I don’t want to be
anyone’s chattel—unless, of course, I’m cast
when one of my British friends spotted a sign that pointed the way to the
in that position as part of some type of role-
remains of an Ancient Roman bath. playing sex romp. Then, I merrily will cede
“Oooh, let’s stop!” Jayne trilled. “I adore ruins.” control of my personage, but only for a half-
“That’s why you married one!” I called out from the backseat, delighted hour or so.
So, when news got to England on the tele-
as always when I make a clever remark in the moment. Usually, these come type that Illinois, the state where I was born
hours later, well after the statue of limitations has expired for a witty retort. and raised, passed civil unions for gays, I was
both happy and sad. Hurray for the liberal-
Jude, Jayne’s “wife,” grumbled from the • I’m intrigued by the idea of alimony— minded, no-nonsense, completely-corrupt-
driver’s seat, “We’re not married.” but only if it works in my favor. but-totally-loveable Illinois State Legislature
The British gays have civil unions, not • I always have found ball-and-chain im- for allowing gays to enter into a dreary bu-
marriage. agery rather titillating. reaucratic contractual agreement! It was fan-
“Well, it’s not as funny to say, ‘That’s why, In the minus column: tastic news, but not all that romantic.
you civil-unionized one,’” I responded, quite • Most married people don’t have a lot of I’ve been to-civil union ceremonies in Eng-
sensibly. sex…or I should say that most married peo- land. While it always is touching to watch
That, my friends, is the main reason I ple don’t have a lot of sex with each other. friends in long, loving, committed relationships
think gays should be able to marry—because And I like sex. It’s messy and fun, just like formally agree to stick it out together until one
it’s funnier than getting civil-unionized. exploding Republicans. of them dies, the civil ceremony lacks the pa-
“Take my wife, please!” • When you’re married, you have to go to nache of a wedding. Basically, in such a ser-
“I take my wife everywhere, but she al- your wife’s relatives on holidays. That would vice, you vow to be best pals, and you seal the
ways finds her way back.” make my mother mad! When you’re not deal with a firm handshake. Marriage is both
These classic jokes would lose so much married, you are not considered a fully real- more terrifying and, thus, more romantic.
punch if we were forced to replace “wife” ized grown-up, and thus, your middle-aged So, while I really kind of hate marriage,
with “civil-union partner.” carcass is expected at your traditional place I really kind of love it, too. Without it, we’d
For years, I’ve been ambivalent about gay at the children’s table at your parents’ home put a lot of old Jewish comedians out of busi-
marriage. for every holiday. ness. With it, we’d get to watch Sarah Palin,
In the plus column for marriage: • The mere mention of the word “mar- the entire Bush family, and the new Speaker
• It would cause many Republicans to riage” makes me clammy and claustropho- of the House (whose last name sounds sus-
explode. I mean that literally. Gay marriage bic. When it comes up in conversation, I piciously like an erect penis) explode in front
would pass, and Republicans would spontane- immediately begin looking for an exit sign. of our eyes. JENNIFER PARELLO
ously-combust. It would be messy but fun. Maybe it’s because marriage is an institution

TROLIN, UN DIABLITO ROSA por RODRO

Chuik! Chuik! Trolon wants me to enlarge my little tail. He wants it bigger… I prefer it small and playful rather than
big and silly!

LavenderMagazine.com 61
COMMUNITY CONNECTION

POLITICS & RIGHTS Plymouth Congregational Church, SEXUAL HEALTH TRAVEL


Human Rights Campaign Minneapolis
Family Tree Clinic Door County Visitor Bureau
Advocates for all GLBT Americans, mobilizes A Beacon of Liberal Theology. Progressive
LGBTQ Health Matters at Family Tree! www.doorcounty.com
grassroots action, invests strategically to elect Christianity, Traditional Setting & Service,
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Churches Decorah, IA 52101
PRIDE Congregations around Minnesota that SPORTS & RECREATION (800) 463-4692
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Minneapolis, MN A Covenant Network Congregation, PO Box 580264
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RELIGIOUS & SPIRITUAL (612) 332-3421 STUDENT/CAMPUS/ALUMNI Apple Valley MN
All God’s Children Metropolitan www.ewestminster.org University of Minnesota GLBTA (952) 431-9200
Community Church Programs Office www.mnzoo.org
The radically inclusive GLBTQ community RETIREMENT Dedicated to improving campus climate by
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3100 Park Ave.
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(612) 824-2673 provides Independent, Assisted Living and 46 Appleby Hall
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825 Summit Avenue, Minneapolis, MN Minneapolis, MN
Central Lutheran Church (612) 374-8100 (612) 625-0537
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celebrate and share the love of Christ.
333 Twelfth St. S.
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(612) 870-4416
www.centralmpls.org
Edina Community Lutheran Church
Upbeat, growing congregation committed
to inclusion, justice, peace, community and
proclaiming God’s YES to all.
4113 W. 54th St.
Edina, MN
(952) 926-3808
www.eclc.org
Hennepin Avenue United
Methodist Church
Take a Spiritual Journey With Hennepin’s
Faith Community Through Worship,
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511 Groveland Ave. Minneapolis, MN
(612) 871-5303
www.haumc.org
Mayflower Community Congre-
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An open and affirming, peace with
justice church welcomes you.
106 E. Diamond Lake Rd.
(I-35 & Diamond Lake Rd.)
Minneapolis, MN
(612) 824-0761
www.mayflowermpls.org

62 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


BACKTALK Š CONSIDER THE SOURCE

Play’s, Well, With Others


ecently, I celebrated the first for an actor celebrating the 11th anniversary

R birthday of my semiautobio-
graphical play.
That’s certainly no rare event
in the Twin Cities, the undisputed world cap-
ital of unproduced, unasked-for, appallingly-
of his audition for a Preparation H commer-
cial—and he didn’t even get the part.”
Returning home with my layered cake,
I tracked down a few agencies, and invited
them to bring their scripts over for a little
bad, small-town-based play scripts. celebration.
But when I bought a birthday cake for After they arrived, we sat around like a
my play, and decided to throw it a party, my bunch of old ladies talking about our grand-
friends reached for their therapists’ business children’s achievements—or, in this case,
cards quicker than you can say “Fringe Fes- the lack of them.
tival.” One friend, whose play will soon be 12,
Patiently, I explained to friends that my even pulled a photo from his wallet show-
script was an extension of me, and that it was ing him and his script, which he had named
only fair I do something for it after the year it Dennis, on vacation in Mexico.
had been through. need to come out as a lesbian?” “Dennis and I were celebrating out 17th
For example, the first time I let a friend This, of course, came as a rather stunning rewrite,” he said, getting misty-eyed.
read it, she said she liked it, but wanted to query (pardon the expression), and caused Later, looking around the table at all our
see the main character die a horrible, painful an acute identity crisis. Even worse, I also plays, each wearing a party hat, I experi-
death by the third page. felt as if I’d failed as a writer. I contemplated enced a tinge of pride that might have had
Undeterred by this “constructive criti- cheerfully heaving my play off the Hennepin something to do with the half-bottle of Wild
cism,” I began sending the play around Avenue Bridge. Turkey I had just consumed.
town, hoping some big-shot producer/ar- But when I arrived at the bridge, I found Jeff sat patiently watching this spectacle
tistic director (Joe Dowling of the Guthrie) another playwright doing the same thing. unfold, as we playwrights traded war stories
would whip out his checkbook, and make “Couldn’t think of anything original, about how our scripts were conceived (inter-
me a very wealthy woman. huh?” he sneered, as he fed to the fishes estingly, mostly on city buses); the nights our
Instead, I received even more profound his action-adventure play about a sarcastic, printers gave birth (“my DeskJet was in labor
feedback from many of the Twin Cities’s fine wisecracking cop stuck on an escalator with for eight hours”); and our scripts’ first trip to
creative theater assistants, such as: “I fell a deranged gang-member from Anoka. Kinko’s (“Dennis got stuck in the copier—it
asleep reading it”; “The stage manager’s dog So, I kept my script, deciding that maybe was so embarrassing”).
threw up on it”; and “How the hell did you it simply needed more love, attention, and— Later, after everyone left, Jeff volunteered
get Joe Dowling’s cell phone number?” most importantly—a birthday party. to vacuum up the mess, which amounted to
The topper was when one friend who read I ran straight to the nearest bakery, pushing cake crumbs around with his very
my script—a romantic drama about a suave where, without even blushing, I asked the old Hoover. I reminded him that the vacuum
Welshman and a strong woman falling hope- lady behind the counter what cake would be had never been that great in the first place,
lessly in love—told me he deeply suspected best for a play’s birthday party. and that Sears was probably having a sale.
both characters were gay. “Something layered,” she replied, with- “Not interested”, he said. “I’ve had this
That night, I asked for the opinion of my out batting an eye. vacuum since I was 23, and I’m going to have
best friend, Jeff. Frowning, he looked up from Thrown, and in desperate need of any it when I’m 73.”
a Cosmopolitan quiz he was taking concern- kind of attention, I asked if she thought it Consider the source here, but I know
ing the many shortcomings of a best friend. weird that I was throwing a party for my how he feels.
Jeff said, “Well, I didn’t think the char- play’s script. Bye for now.
acters were gay, but are you sure you don’t “Honey,” she said, “I just did a Bundt cake Kiss, kiss. JULIE DAFYDD

LavenderMagazine.com 63
BACKTALK Š MS. BEHAVIOR®

Adoring Fan
Dear Ms. Behavior: see are blue skies. It is possible that some useful metaphor for lesbian love, the source
I thank you for being funny as hell. I have weird monster will crawl out from the cracks, of your love advice thus far has been strange.
been reading and rereading your etiquette and explain that she is not even available. If you left some vital piece of information
guide ever since its publication. In any case, I am finding it difficult to un- out of your letter—if for example, your straight
I first found womyn through the person- derstand how I should conduct myself. Fur- friend’s advice is based on prior knowledge
als, and then through the Womyn’s Studies thermore, I am plagued by a notion that she that you are prone to mortifying expressions
Department, so I am thoroughly saturated is some kind of karmic retribution for every of love—then, OK, fine, perhaps your friend
with Cris Williamson, Holly Near, and the lover I have hurt, and will smash my heart is trying to tone you down to save you.
desire to act as I really feel. into a million pieces. However, the term “straight cycling bud-
The concept of playing games seems like I am ridiculously smitten. She has bicy- dy” implies a certain distance. This is all by
irritating social crap. However, my straight cle-racing scars. She served me arugula for way of saying that you finally have come to
cycling buddy has told me over and over that dinner. I am in a constant swoon. I wish I the right place for your love guidance.
if I want to hold the attention of the amazon were joking even a little bit. You wonder if you must back off, and
I recently started adoring, I must back off, Thanks for cracking me up repeatedly in feign noninterest, when you’d rather text
and feign at least some noninterest. the meantime. lovely haikus.
Aside from just wanting to devour a wo- Your Adoring Fan, But if you and the appealing amazon are
myn who is taller than me (this never has —GWENDOLYN “similarly calibrated,” as you suggest, how
occurred in my entire dating history, as I am would game-playing help?
tall myself), I have a strong anti-BS clause in Dear Gwendolyn: Your romantic inclinations surely would
my makeup, and I find it difficult. It’s interesting that you would you rely on fell most tall lesbians. And those who’d re-
The two of us seem similarly calibrated. your straight cycling buddy for advice about spond with disdain probably aren’t right for
My desire to text her lovely haiku through- holding the attention of the amazon. Unless you anyway.
out the day is strong. I do realize it may be you believe your straight friend’s knowledge As for your desire to “devour” the tall
that pesky beginning stage where all you can of gear mechanisms and bicycle seats is a woman, from Ms. Behavior’s 5’10” perspec-

64 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


tive, few women are large enough for the
task, so it seems likely that your amazon
will be tickled by your enthusiasm (and
your teeth).
Of course there is a difference between
expressing interest and acting like a sticky
booger. If you truly are inclined to the lat-
ter, you can contain your behavior slightly,
without going to an extreme of avoidance
or feigning disinterest. In any case, lots of
women appreciate romantic gestures.
But why do some people get away
with Grand Romantic Gestures, and oth-
ers look like fools for their amorous dis-
plays of enthusiasm?
Some of it depends on your deliv-
ery, and some on your reading of social
cues—e.g., how the object of your affec-
tion feels about you.
For example, if you sneak into your be-
loved’s apartment, and sprinkle dozens of
rose petals on her bed, will you look like a
romantic genius or a psychotic stalker?
If you don’t know the answer, it’s bet-
ter not to do it.
In general, avoid Grand Romantic Ges-
tures under the following circumstances:
(1) If they involve forced entry.
(2) When the object of your affection
doesn’t know you exist.
(3) When she has a girlfriend.
Otherwise, try it, and see how it goes.
When you say that you fear that this
woman could be “karmic retribution for
every woman you have hurt,” it sounds
like you might need to make amends to a
few (dozen) women.
If that’s not possible, at least try to
come to peace with your past, so that it
doesn’t interfere with your ability to have
a healthy relationship in the present.
MERYL COHN

© 2010 Meryl Cohn. Address questions and correspondence


to <msbehavior@aol.com>. She is the author of Do What
I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay and Lesbian Etiquette
(Houghton Mifflin). Signed copies are available directly from
the author.

LavenderMagazine.com 65
YELLOW PAGES ADVERTISER INDEX

ADULT EVENTS Construction ................. 57 McGee, Michael ......... 6


Hardline Gay Chat...... 65 Lavender First Pro Home Renovating . 57 Ruzick, Amy & Johnson,
Megaphone ................. 64, 65 Thursdays...................... 23 Ryan’s Tree Care ......... 55 Kay ................................ 17
Lavender’s ThirstDays .. 34 Soderlin Plumbing,
AIDS/HIV INFORMATION & Heating & Air RELIGIOUS
TREATMENT FINANCIAL Conditioning................. 55 All God’s Children
Open Arms of Minnesota 17 Foster, Greg ................. 22 SOS Homecare ........... 55 MCC ............................. 20
Hamilton-Clark The Tile Shop................ 25 St. Mark’s Episcopal
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Group ........................... 55 Vujovich Design Build .. 31 Cathedral ..................... 21
Art Institutes International Harbor Group.............. 5, 55 Central Lutheran
Minnesota .......................31 Moltaji, Roya ................ 17 INSURANCE Church ......................... 22
Hennepin Theatre Palm, Karen .................. 7 AAA Minneapolis Edina Community
Trust ............................... 31 ROR Tax Professionals 17 Insurance Agency ........ 3 Lutheran Church........... 23
I Love You Phillip Baldwin, Davina .......... 57 Hennepin Avenue
Morris ........................... 27 GIFTS Bartell, Dawn .............. 6 United Methodist
Kerasotes ShowPlace Fantasy Gifts ................ 64 Wagner Insurance- Church .......................... 20
ICON Theater 14 ........ 27 Neverstraight.com ....... 5 Financial Services, Inc. 57 Mayflower
Ordway Center for Wolfson, Steve ............. 57 Community
the Performing Arts ...... 29 GROCERY STORES Congregational United
Wedge Co-op .............. 43 JEWELRY Church of Christ ........... 21
AUTOMOTIVE Max’s ............................ 6 Plymouth
LaMettry’s Collision ..... 25 HEALTH, WELLNESS & Congregational
Morrie’s Mazda .......... 9 RECOVERY LEGAL Church .......................... 22
Morrie’s Subaru........... 7 Amble, Paul DDS ......... 25 Bohn & Associates ...... 55 St. Paul-Reformation
Blue Cross & Blue Burg, Jerry .................... 29 Lutheran Church with
BARS & NIGHTLIFE Shield of Minnesota .... 68 Cloutier & Brandl ......... 23 Wingspan Ministry ...... 20
Bar Advertiser Guide .. 32 Dean, Jeff ..................... 3 University Lutheran
Burns, Steve .................. 57
19 Bar ........................... 36 Family Solutions Law Church of Hope ........... 22
Carrillo, Dr. Thomas P. . 58
Brass Rail ...................... 34 Group ........................... 21 Westminster
Changing Pathways .... 57
Chi Chi LaRue’s Heltzer & Presbyterian Church .... 21
Chase, Lisa ................... 58
Holiday Party ............... 36
Clare Housing .............. 17 Houghtaling ................. 5
Coale’s ......................... 38 RESTAURANTS
ClearWay Minnesota.. 47 Hoffner Law Firm .........
Gay 90’s ..................... 33 Burger Moe’s ............... 46
Heffelfinger, Kate......... 58 Moshier, Becky ............ 7
Tickles ........................... 36 Cecil’s Deli ................... 45
Heteroflexible Therapy 57 Terry & Slane ............... 8
Town House ................. 35 C. McGee’s Deli .......... 43
O’Hara, Paul ................ 58
Pride Institute ................ 23 MORTGAGE French Meadow
BEAUTY & RELAXATION Bakery & Café ............. 43
Anew Aesthetic Running Tiger Shaolin Lozinski, David ............. 17
Kenpo ........................... 55 Gleason, Pat ................. 12 Fuji Ya ........................... 43
Medical Center ............ 29 Jakeeno’s Pizza
Barbers on Bryant........ 55 Shaklee ......................... 55 Grunewald, Mark ........ 6
Stolz, James.................. 58 & Pasta .......................... 43
University of OPTICAL KinDee Thai
BEVERAGES Restaurant..................... 45
Miller Lite ...................... 67 Minnesota, Infectious Specs Appeal............... 25
Diseases........................ 13 Roat Osha .................... 43
Uptown Dermatology ORGANIZATIONS Toast Wine Bar
COACHING & Café .......................... 45
Madson Consulting & SkinSpa ..................... 57 The Aliveness Project ... 17
Uptown Diner,
Group ........................... 57 Fleet Naturals............... 8, 9
PET PRODUCTS & Woodbury Café,
Vader, Kathy................. 57
SERVICES Louisiana Café,
COMMUNICATIONS Grandview Grill ........... 45
AM950, The HOME SERVICES Animal Humane
Voice of Minnesota ..... 45 A-Z Electric .................. 57 Society ......................... 6
SPORTS & RECREATION
Radio K 770 ............... 21 Good Stuff Moving ..... 55
Hoigaard’s ................... 12
Granite REAL ESTATE & RENTALS
EMPLOYMENT Transformations ............ 55 Bowker, Kent ................ 58
TOBACCO PRODUCTS
Pride Talent Hi-Tech Installations ..... 55 gayrealestate.com ....... 58
Snus............................... 2, 11, 19
Acquisition .................... 3 Matt’s Tree Service ...... 57 Haubrich Homes.......... 58
Personal Pride Leviton, Ann .................. 58

66 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010


Dining Guide Listing |
AVERAGE PRICE OF A TYPICAL ENTREE
$ LESS THAN $15, $$ $15-$25, $$$ MORE THAN $25

Our Guide to the Metro Eateries Featured in This Issue Lav-


ender Magazine’s Dining Guide is your resource to GLBT-
friendly restaurants. We recommend calling restaurants be-
fore visiting to confirm information.
Lavender’s cuisine section and updated dining guide appears
each issue. Please direct questions about the directory and
cuisine advertising to dining@lavendermagazine.com.
Kindee Thai

BURGER MOE’S $ THE GRANDVIEW GRILL $


American fare American
Relaxed atmosphere, gorgeous outdoor patio, fabulous food, Fresh hand ground hash browns, French toast, omelets, pancakes,
sixty beers. coffee, juices, soups, salads & sandwiches.
Lunch, Dinner
242 W. 7th St., St. Paul, MN (651) 222-3100 Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch
www.burgermoes.com 1818 Grand Ave., St. Paul (651) 698-2346
Mon – Fri: 6:15 AM – 2:30 PM • Sat: 6:15 AM – 3 PM • Sun: 8
CECIL’S DELI $ AM – 3 PM
Deli/Bakery
We specialize in box lunches & deli trays! Anything on our menu HONEY $$
can be made to go, just ask. Small Plates
Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner
Fine cocktails, wine, small plates and artisan chocolates in an in-
651 S. Cleveland, St. Paul (651) 698-6276
Deli: Mon – Sun 9 AM – 9 PM Restaurant: Mon – Sun 9 AM – 8 timate setting.
PM 205 Hennepin Ave., Minneapolis (612) 746-0306
www.cecilsdeli.com www.honeympls.com

C. MCGEE’S DELI $ JAKEENO’S PIZZA & PASTA $


Deli Italian
Good food from scratch. Classic fare, international catering. Event
Traditional red sauce pastas, thin crust pizza & homemade sauc-
spacing available up to 50.
Lunch, Breakfast, Catering es.
901 N. 3rd St., #123, Minneapolis, MN (612) 288-0606 Lunch, Dinner
3555 Chicago Ave. S. Minneapolis (612) 825-6827
FRENCH MEADOW BAKERY $ Mon – Fri: 11 AM – 11 PM • Sat – Sun: 4 PM – 11 PM
Certified Organic Bakery Midtown Global Market, 920 E. Lake St., Minneapolis (612) 767-
Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner 1102
2610 Lyndale Ave. S., Minneapolis (612) 870-4740 Mon – Sat: 10 AM – 8 PM • Sun: 10 AM – 6 PM
Sun – Thurs: 6:30 AM – 9 PM • Fri – Sat: 6:30 AM – 11 PM
www.frenchmeadow.com www.jakeenos.com

FUJI YA JAPANESE RESTAURANT $$ KINDEE THAI $


Japanese & Sushi Thai
Authentic Japanese food, finest sushi available, Uptown Minne- This isn’t your traditional everyday Thai restaurant.
apolis, downtown St. Paul. Lunch, Dinner
600 W. Lake St., Minneapolis (612) 871-4055 719 S. 2nd St., Minneapolis (612) 465-8303
Mon: Closed • Tues – Thurs: 5 PM – 10 PM • Fri – Sat: 5 PM –
Mon: Closed • Tues – Thurs: 11:30 AM – 9 PM • Fri: 11:30 AM –
10:30 PM • Sun: 5 PM – 9 PM
465 N. Wabasha, St. Paul (651) 310-0111 • Mon – Fri: Lunch 11:30 10:30 PM • Sat: 11 AM – 10:30 PM • Sun: 11 AM – 9 PM
AM – 2 PM. Dinner 5 PM—10 PM • Sat: Dinner 5 PM – 10 PM www.kindeethairestaurant.com
• Sun: Closed
www.fujiyasushi.com THE LOUISIANA CAFÉ $
American
GINGER HOP $$ Fresh hand ground hash browns, French toast, omelets, pancakes,
Asian Fusion
coffee, juices, soups, salads & sandwiches.
Specializing in pan-Asian classic dishes. As we like to say, “East
meets Northeast”. Breakfast, Brunch,
Lunch, Dinner 613 Selby Ave., St. Paul (651) 221-9140
201 E. Hennepin Ave., Minneapolis (612) 746-0304 • www.ginger- Mon – Fri: 6:30 AM – 2:30 PM • Sat: 6:30 AM – 3 PM • Sun: 8
hop.com AM – 3 PM

LavenderMagazine.com 69
Jakeeno's

Grandview Grill

NEW UPTOWN DINER $


American
Fresh hand ground hash browns, French toast, omelets, pan-
cakes, coffee, juices, soups, salads & sandwiches.
Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch
2548 Hennepin Ave. S. Minneapolis (612) 874-0481
Mon – Wed: 6 AM – 3 PM • Thurs – Sat: 24 Hours • Sun: Close
at 6 PM

ROAT OSHA $$
Thai
Uniquely crafted authentic and American influences. Decor that
invites conversation
Lunch, Dinner
2650 Hennepin Ave. S., Minneapolis
Sat: 11 AM – 11 PM • Sun: 11 AM – 10:30 PM • www.roatoshathai.
com

TOAST WINE BAR AND CAFÉ $


Wine bar with Italian influence
Neighborhood wine bar serving pizzas, cured meats and small
plates.
Dinner
415 N. 1st St., Minneapolis, MN (612) 333-4305
Tues – Thurs: 5 PM – 11 PM • Fri – Sat: 5 PM – 12 AM • Sun: 5
PM – 11 PM
www.toastwinebarandcafe.com

W.A. FROST & CO. $$


Since 1975. Enjoy the open air setting in the summer & the spec-
tacular historic architecture year round. Sensation wine selection,
cuisine & ambiance provide the perfect dining experience.
Lunch, Dinner, Sunday Brunch
374 Selby Ave., St. Paul 651-224-5715
Sun – Thurs: 5 PM – 10:30 PM. Bar open until Midnight • Fri – Sat:
5 PM – 11 PM, Bar open until 1 AM
www.wafrost.com

THE WOODBURY CAFÉ $


American
Fresh hand ground hash browns, French toast, omelets, pan-
cakes, coffee, juices, soups, salads & sandwiches.
Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch
Bielenberg & Tamarack, Woodbury, MN (651) 209-8182
Mon – Fri: 7 AM – 2:30 PM • Sat: 7 AM – 3 PM • Sun: 8 AM – 3
PM

70 LAVENDER DECEMBER 16-29, 2010

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