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How to reach your Entelechy

Before I was a philosophy student I was very interested in finding my own

entelechy (although I did not use the appropriate term). I more referred to it as my

happiness, and these terms should be interchangeable. I was very lost in this world,

constantly wondering about what my purpose was. I was constantly questioning myself

about what I wanted to do, and considering what others thought I should be doing to

create happiness in my life. I started by having a conversation with my Aunt who for a

living guides people using what she called Nuero linguistic Programming. She assists

her clients are helping them change their thinking patterns to become successful. I

became quite fascinated with the subject of nuero linguistic programming. According to

the Oxford Dictionary, Nuero Linguistic Programming is defined as ³a model of

interpersonal communication chiefly concerned with the relationship between successful

patterns of behavior and the subjective experiences.´ How do successful people differ

from those who lead a life woe and misery? Is it even a choice, or is it just destiny? It

seems that before one can approach the road to entelechy there must be some

reconstruction of the way one thinks. In the beginning of our philosophy course we

learned that we all carry around a big bag of beliefs. These can be either positive or

negative beliefs but none the less they affect our daily behavior and choices. Entelechy

is defined by Aristotle as the ³inner urge´ within all of us, but how could one reach this if

they had limiting beliefs? For example I always wanted to pursue acting, it is something
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that I truly love and have received great joy during the process. Upon my entering High

school I was strongly encouraged, by some teachers and my parents to do something

more realistic and useful with my life, and so I packed away my dreams and began to

pursue something less dear to my heart. I didn¶t step foot in the theater for two years,

and seldom could even go see a movie without having some sort of emotional

withdrawal (as you can see I am very dramatic), How could I ever reach my entelechy if

my limiting belief was that acting was unrealistic and un useful? This belief was not

something I constructed on my own but instead adopted based on my surrounding

environment. This surrounding environment seems to be both crucial to human

happiness and yet, somewhat destructive to entelechy at times. Based on the

fundamental principles of happiness, based on the direct observation human behavior

or social psychology, happiness has some key ingredients. Like and acorn is destined

to be an oak tree, but it is dependent on water, we as human are reliant on other human

relationships or a social network.

Based on the article the promise of sustainable happiness´ by Julia K. Boehm

and Sonja Lyubomirsky, there are three key things to the essential framework of

happiness, how we are behaviorally, how we react to situations, and how we reflect on

ourselves. This article actually went hand in hand with all my studies on nuero linguistic

programming. The first thing and individual should include in their behavior is random

acts of kindness, and gratitude. Have you ever given a bum a dollar, and felt like a saint

afterwards? Exactly, it raises how you think about yourself and the more often this can
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be done the better. Also we should consider being more thankful, even if we seem to

have the worst situation. It could be of the smallest thing, but one should try and

generate true feelings of gratitude. In quantum physics, the law of attraction is always

working, and by generating feelings of gratitude, you are going to attract even more

feelings of gratitude.

The ultimate difference between happy and unhappy people is perception of

situations; you can determine which one you are by observing your own language. One

of first books I listened to was called Success Mastery by Charles Faulkner and Dr.

Robert McDonald; both are experts and leading pioneers in this relatively new science

of thinking. One of the first things and individual is asked to do is to listen to how they

speak, because language is one of the most powerful tools we as human beings can

posses. If you are using limiting vocabulary such as ³impossible, can¶t, never, almost,

always and so on then you are demonstrating your own limiting beliefs and perception

of the situation. For example, you find yourself in a situation where you have received a

parking ticket, again. Now there are numerous ways you can respond linguistically. I will

demonstrate a positive and a negative. 1) Wow, I guess in the future I will be more

careful where I park. 2) GHA!! This ALWAYS happens to me. Both of these set you up

for the future. One, you will be more careful, and two it is bound to happen again. You

see, it seems that we have the free will to choose our destinies, but how many people

are aware of this power? If you don¶t believe me I invite you to experiment with it in your

own life. Next time you catch yourself using one of these words, I invite you to question
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yourself as to why you have chosen to think this way. The next thing I learned was how

to handle my emotions which has been my biggest challenge thus far; I mostly do this

by making wise choices with my speech. For instance if I am angry with someone

because of a certain situation, and they need to be confronted it was much more freeing

to say ³until now, I have been angry with you´ The ³until now,´ my seem insignificant but

it is the most important part of this phrase because I chose to put my emotions in a time

and place that was not in the present, and thus freeing me from them. Another example,

perhaps you cannot afford to buy the new car that you wanted and so you say ³I can¶t

afford that fabulous car ³. You have already created a damaging and limiting belief on

yourself. But it is true! You cannot afford it, but there is another way to phrase this so

that it will not always be. All you have to do is add the word ³yet´ to the equation and

you automatically have set up your future, implying that someday you will be able to

afford the car, and are no longer destined to forever be broke. This is a demonstration

of free will. You can always choose what you say and as human beings we have the

strange and rare ability to talk about the future. One of the next things I learned from

Charles Faulkner was the power of visualization. He asked me to close my eyes and

imagine myself watching myself eating an apple, and so I did. ³OK?...wonderful´ I

thought to myself, but then he asked me to now in vision eating the apple , tasting it ,

holding it, the juices flowing in my mouth. ³Wow´ I thought to myself ³what an amazing

difference´ and I learned the true power of visualization. I know that I have the power to

experience whatever I want, even if it is not yet in the physical realm. The funny thing is,

it seems to show up eventually.

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Visualization also creates a very natural happiness. You are choosing to

experience in your mind what is making you happy. I suggest that each day you take

time to do this. You may come across limiting beliefs, ³oh that can¶t be´. You must

deconstruct t these by asking questions. As Socrates would say, for happiness you

must know thyself. Feel the feelings of your fantasies.

Now it would not exactly be fair if I didn¶t at least tell you about one of the most

gratifying self talk sessions of my life. Most people think of themselves as many parts,

depending on the situations. Example, I am a lover at home, but hardnosed at work. It

seems that all these parts have a purpose and a reason, but have you ever introduced

all your parts? I thought it was crazy but invited all the parts of myself to an imaginary

tea party once. I had many, both positive and negative attributes. There was my

humorous self, my shy quite self, my assertive self, my angry self, and so on. But what I

found was that if all these parts of me were in conflict (which they were), Then I became

very dysfunctional. I hated certain aspects of myself. Especially my anger. I asked my

anger what its purpose was and the answer was surprising to me. ³Why I try to protect

you from feeling sadness´. I then changed my opinion of my anger. It was no longer a

destructive part of me but I came to understand its purpose in my life. Eventually I felt

like a working whole and I must admit, this strange exercise made a huge difference in

how I perceived myself. I stopped hating certain aspects of me, or one of the final

stages of creating happiness.

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After all these things were in place, I was picking out my classes for this

semester at COS. Of course I am at the moment taking very proper what my parents

would like classes, but I allowed myself to take one class, script analysis. ³What harm

could that bring´ I thought to myself, ³all the better for analyzing literature.´ Well you can

imagine the ham I am in that class, each character I read, has a voice, has a feeling and

so on and so forth. Reading these characters of course made me lonely for the old

stage. I wanted to try out for the college play The Imaginary Invalid, but my schedule

was to conflicting. Imagine my surprise when I opened up a newspaper a few weeks

later and there, schedule perfect was auditions for the play Wonderland, working with

my dear friend and old director! She was so happy to see me and of course I was cast. I

have been so happy these past few months working on my character that I cannot

imagine my life without theater. So is this my entelechy? I think it must be. Follow your

heart, know yourself, and forget what those around you are saying. If you choose your

experience then it must be your destiny.

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References

Bradley, Joy. Personal interview. 25 Sept. 2009.

Boehm, J. K., & Lyubomirsky, S. (in press). The promise of

sustainable happiness. In S. J. Lopez (Ed.), 6


  (2nd

ed.). Oxford: Oxford University Press

Soccio, Douglas J..   






 . 7 ed.

Belmont, CA: Wadsworth Publishing Company, 2009. Print.