**CELESTIALSOUND/MUSIC(BRAHMANAAD)**

IprostratebeforeShreeShivBaba,theAnalogousPersonifiedFormofLordShivaandoffermy Salutations.. RightfrommychildhoodIhadinnercuriositytoknowParamatma,andIcouldnotfindanypathtoturn inwards.Allthepathsofknowledgeseemedtomoveoutwardsbuttherewasnoonewhocouldguide meontheinwardpath.IhadnotmetanyGuruinmylifewhohadknowledgeoftheinwardpathorwho couldshowmetheway. SeveralGurusenteredmylifeinthefieldofeducation,inthefieldof(thegameof)kabaddi,inthe fieldofswimming,intheareaofadministration,inthefieldofmarketingorinthefieldoforganization, butIhaveonlycometoknowabouttheexternalworldthroughwhateverknowledgeIobtainedfrom them.OnlymyintellecthasdevelopedthroughtheknowledgeIobtainedfromthem;andasmyintellect begantodevelop,myegoalsoincreasedsimultaneously.Iamawareofthis;andasthisknowledge continuedtogrow,Iamawareofthattoo.NowIhavealsounderstoodthattherespectIreceivedfrom peopleinsocietyduetothisexternalknowledgealsoincreasedmyego.Iobtainedthetrustofpeople throughthisexternalknowledgebutthattooincreasedmyegothatpeoplehavesomuchfaithinme. Icouldobtainunlimitedwealththroughthisexternalknowledgebutmyegoincreasedduetothewealth too.Itappearedthatmyphysicalbodycouldobtaincomfortsandfacilitiesduetothewealthwhichwas theresultofexternalknowledge.Howeverinreality,therewasnohappinessinit,onlyfacilitiesand comforts;andthosefacilitiesalsoonlyincreasedmyegothatIhadobtainedallthefacilitiesand comforts.Iobtainedvariousgadgetsandinstrumentsthroughthewealthduetomyexternal knowledge,butthehabitofusingthesegadgetsandinstrumentsmademyphysicalbodyloveandenjoy thecomforts.Myquestcontinueddespiteobtainingallthis,althoughIwasnotawareofwhatIwas searchingfor.RightfrommychildhoodIwouldalwaysfeelthatthegoalofmylifewasnottoobtainall thesethings;thegoalwasquitedifferent,butIwasnotawareofwhatmygoalwas. Ihadobtainedallthatayoungmandreamsofobtaininginhislife,butIwasstillunsatisfied;andIwas alsoawarewhyalltheGuruswereonlyindicatingandguidingpeopleontheexternalpath,andwhythe externalknowledgecouldnotleadtosatisfaction.NomatterhowmuchexternalknowledgeIobtained, italwaysseemedtomethatthiswasaveryvastareaandthatIstillhadtoobtainalotofknowledgein thisfield.ThenassoonasIobtainedit,anotherareawouldappearbeforeme;andthenlaterthatfield alsowouldappeartobedeceptive.Itseemedthatallthepathsofexternalknowledgeweremoving fartherandfartheraway.ThesewerethepathswhichwouldneverendevenifIwalkedallmylifeon them.ThenIwouldfeelthatnopathtomoveinwardsexists,orperhapsthepersonwithknowledgeto guidemeinwardshasnotyetenteredmylife.Doesthepathtogoinwardsexistatall?Canonereallygo inwards?Canonegettoknowoneself?Becausenomatterhowmuchyouobtaintheexternal knowledgelikethelayersofanonion,intheendonedoesnotachieveanything.Iwouldalwaysfeelthat Ihadbeendeceived;andwheneverIspoketoanyoneaboutgoinginwards,thepersonbeforemewould thinkthatIwascrazybecausehewasnotawareofanysuchpathwhichwouldtakeoneinwards;andhe

wasquitesurethatnosuchpathexisted.Therefore,everyonewouldlookatmewithastonishment;and thenIheardaboutthesaintsandGuruswhohadwalkedonthisinnerpath,andthatnoneofthemwas aliveanymore.Thereforetherewasnoquestionofmeetingthemoraskingthemanything.However, nowtheproblemwashowtosearchforthisinnerpathandhowtosearchforaGuruwhocouldguide metotheinnerpath;andIhavewanderedlikeacrazypersonformany,manyyearswiththisquestion. Iwouldsitallaloneforhourstogether,ponderingoverthissubjectbecausethetopicitselfwassuch thatitcouldnotbeunderstoodbypeople;andintheinappropriateatmospherearoundme,eachofmy companionswasrunningaroundtryingtoobtainasmuchexternalknowledgeaspossible.Theirmain aiminlifewastoobtainasmuchexternalknowledgeaspossible,tousetheknowledgetoincreasetheir expertise,andtousetheexpertiseasmuchaspossibletoearnmoreandmoremoney;thenafter earningmoremoney,touseitforobtainingmoreandmorefacilitiesfortheirphysicalbodies.This runningaroundformoreandstillmorewouldstretchonlyuptogettingfacilitiesfortheirphysical bodiesandthenitwouldend.However,Icouldnotvisualizeinnerhappinessandinnerpeaceanywhere inthisstrenuousrunningaround;instead,Icouldonlyseethevicestowhichtheywereaddicteddueto thestressandmentaltensioncausedbythisrunningaround. Ijustcouldnotunderstandwhythesepeoplecalledmecrazy,andactuallytheyappearedcrazytome becauseIcouldnotperceiveanydestinationtowhichthisrunformoneycouldlead.They misunderstoodmeandIthoughtthattheywerewrong;andthequestionofwhowasrightalways remainedpresent.Iwouldfeelthatsuchpeoplecomeandgoaway;buttodayonlytheSaintsand Mahatmasareconsideredtobeidealwhosesearchhasbeenwithinandwhohavebeensuccessfulin goinginwardsintheirlives,thosewhohavewalkedontheinnerpathalthoughtheymayhavebeen consideredworthlessduringtheirlives,calledcrazymendicants(fakirs),orcrazythakurs.Buttodaythe samesaintswhowerecalledcrazyarerespectedinoursociety.AtthattimeIwaspassingthroughavery strangementalstate.Therewasdarknessinalldirectionsandnorayoflightcouldbeseenanywhere, andIusedtofeelthatmyentirelifewouldcometoanendinthissamedarknesssincenorayoflight wasvisibleinthisbirth.Ialsofeltthatperhapsthedesirefortheinnerpathhadbeenawakenedinthis birthandthereforeIwouldfindthepathtogoinwardsduringmynextbirth.However,theproblemwas thatIhadnotfoundanysaintorSatguruwhohadknowledgeabouttheinnerpathinsociety,andIdid nothavethevisiontolookoutsidesociety.Ihadonlyheardthatthereisaninnerpath,andthat Brahmanaadcanbeheardinsideoneself. Brahmanaadistheinnersoundandtohearitisthesupremespiritualexperienceofoneslife,thatit wasinsidemyselfandyetIwasnotabletohearit.ButatthattimeIdidnothavetheknowledgethatit cannotbeheardaslongastheIispresent.AnemptyplaceiscreatedonlyaftertheIends,andthat soundiscreatedautomaticallyandthejoyofthatsoundisunique.ButIdidnotmeetanyonewho wouldeventalkaboutBrahmanaad,nordidanyonehaveanyinformationaboutit.Allthesefactswere confinedtobooksandalltheSatguruswhohadobtainedthisspiritualexperiencewerealsoconfinedto books.Actually,allthesethingswerenotmentionedintheirbiographiesatall.Theywereonlypresent inthePuranasandscriptures.SometimesIwouldfeelthatthepureandholyatmospheredidnotexist anymorewheresuchfactscouldbementioned,norweresuchpureandclearsoulspresentwheresuch talkcouldhappen.Allthepeopleseemedtobepartofthehurryandscurryofthematerialisticworld.

ButduringsuchadarkperiodoftimeIwouldrememberwhatmygrandmotherhadsaidthat Paramatmaexistedinthepast,existsinthepresenttime,andwillexistinthefuturetoo,althoughitis truethatHisformwouldhavechangedaccordingtothedemandsoftime.Thiswastheonlysentence whichwastherayoflightinmylife;andIwasmovingforwardwiththehopefulsupportthatIshould onlycontinuetohavethedesireforit.Nomatterwhatthepathaheadwaslike,itwoulddefinitelyopen upassoonasmystatebecomepureandholy. AtatimewhenIwasinthisframeofmind,youyourselfcalledmeandgavemedarshan.Iwasnoteven worthyenoughtoreceiveyourdarshanandyourgiftwaspossibleonlyduetoyourcompassion. IrealizedbyyourGraceandinyourproximitythatParamatmaisnotoutsidebutwithinme.Youhad movedinwardsandthereforeyouwereawareaboutthepathtogoinwards;andyouhadnotonlygone inwardsbuthadreachedinwardsandhadmadecontactwithParamatma.Youmademeobtaina spiritualexperience(anubhooti)andIacceptedthesameanubhootiasthepath,andtherestofmy journeyoflifewascompletedwiththesupportofthatanubhooti.Afterobtainingtheanubhootifrom youIcametoknowthatalltheGurusgiveexternalknowledgeinlifeandtakeusfarawayfromourown selves.ButonlytheSatguruknowsabouttheinnerpath,andonlyhecanguideyouonit.Thenafter walkingontheinnerpathIcametoknowthatthisisthepathwhichgoesstraighttoParamatma,and afterreachingParamatma,theIismergedwithParamatma.AfterthatParmatmaandIarenot separateanymore.Oneobtainsakindofinnersatisfaction,oneexperiencesinnerpeaceandallthe runningaroundcomestoanend;andthenonefeelsthatoneslifehasbeensuccessful.The Brahmanaadwhichonehearsaftergoinginwardscannotbedescribedatall;myhandsarenotcapable ofdescribingit.IfindmyselfgoingintomeditationwhilstrememberingthatincidentandIhavestarted hearingthesameBrahmanaadagaininsidemyself.AfterreachingParamatmaandobtainingthehigh peakintheformofGauriShankar(Divinity),Iamexperiencingakindofpeace;Ihaveachievedakind ofinnersatisfactionthatIhavereachedandobtainedParamatma.Nowthereisnothingmorelefttobe obtainedinlife.Thepurposeoftakingbirthhasbeenfulfilledandthereforethereisnopurposeleftto takeanotherbirth.IhavealsoobtainedthesupremepeakofMokshabyyourGraceandyouhave askedmetoofferyouGuruDakshinabymakingitpossibleforeachandeverysoulthatwishestoobtain thesupremepeakofMokshatoachieveit.Youhavegivenmethekaryaofpreparingthepathtoreach thathighestpeakandIstillcontinuetoperformit. Ihaveconveyedthegift(Prasad)ofanubhootiwhichyouhavegivenmetoeverysadhakexactlyasyou hadgivenittome.Thereisnochangeinit,nothinglessinit,norhaveIaddedanythingnewtoitfrom myside.Theoriginalformoftheanubhootiisstillintactbutevensomyentirelifechangedjustwithone anobhootimyintellectfellawayandmyentireegobrokedown.Whyisthesamethingnot happeningwiththesadhaks?Aretheynotsuitabletoobtaintheanubhootiorhasthetimeforthem toobtainitnotarrivedasyet,ordotheystillhavetoundergosomemoreexperiences?Itissaidthat nooneobtainsanythingmorethantheyaredestinedfororbeforetheyaredueforit.ButtodayIpray toyounottowaitfortheirdestinedtime.Iwishthatmysadhaksshouldprogressspirituallyasfastas possiblesothattheydonothavetoenduretheirremainingexperiences.Maytheirchittamove inwardsfromtheexternalworldandtheytooshouldbeabletostarthearingthesoundofBrahmanaad likeme.Thisismyrequesttoyou,

Yourdisciple,

BabaSwami 28/7/11